Ep229 Building a Coaching Muscle (GROWTH) - First Friday

In this episode, we explore one of the most powerful yet underused leadership tools—coaching. Humanergy coach, Nikki Patterson, shows how to shift from solving every problem yourself to helping others grow their own capability and confidence.

You’ll discover:

• What coaching really means (and how it differs from mentoring or advising)
• When to use coaching versus directing or teaching
• A simple GROWTH model you can use to guide coaching conversations

Whether you manage one person or an entire organization, this episode will help you lead with greater impact and develop stronger, more self-reliant teams.

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Transcript

Nikki Patterson (01:05)
Hi, all. Wonderful to see you on what is here in Michigan a little bit of a rainy, drizzly morning—or afternoon.

If you’ve joined some of our other First Fridays, you’ll know that this fall we’re spending time exploring how to develop people. And if you’ve ever been developed, or developed someone else, you know that coaching can be a key part of that process.

As David mentioned, I’m a coach, so it’s a part that I really like. But it’s also a key tool in becoming an effective leader and being able to develop members of your team. That’s what we’re going to dive into today.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

1. What is coaching?
    Coaching is often used interchangeably with advising, mentoring, consulting, or teaching. We’ll define what it really means in this context.
2. When is coaching the right leadership tool?
    Coaching is something you pull out of your leadership toolbox when the situation calls for it—it’s not always the best fit.
3. We’ll look at a Humanergy resource that helps build your coaching muscle.

It takes a bit of a mental switch to move from being a problem solver to being a coach. So this tool will help make that transition easier.

What Is Coaching?

Something I call the coaching continuum helps explain it.

Imagine a range of actions you can take as a leader:

• On the far left, you can do it for them.
• Next, you can tell them what to do and have them do it.
• Somewhere in the middle, you might advise what they could do.
• Move further right, and you might suggest what they might do.
• Finally, all the way on the right, you ask questions to help them solve it themselves.

These are different ways you might show up as a leader.

Think back to the question we asked when you arrived—about the best manager or mentor you’ve had, and what they did that helped you develop most.

Now, consider which “bucket” that would fall into. Was it more of a “do it for them” leader? More of an advisor? Go ahead and drop your number in the chat.

(Pause for responses.)

All right, I see a mix—some threes, fours, and lots of fives.

Ashley, you put a five. Would you mind sharing what that looked like?

Ashley:
Asking questions was so impactful because it allowed my development and growth. I was most comfortable when they gave advice or suggestions, but that didn’t help me develop my problem-solving or leadership skills. Asking questions did—and it’s really supported me where I am now.

Speaker 1:
Thank you, Ashley. That’s often what we hear.

Leaders need to show up in all these ways at different times. But what you said really captures it—asking questions builds confidence and helps people make their own decisions. That’s where growth happens.

There are absolutely times when telling someone what to do or doing it for them is necessary—like when someone is brand new or in a crisis situation.

But when we want to help someone learn to figure things out for themselves, that’s when the coaching skill set comes in.

A Simple Example

I have a three-year-old who’s transitioning from summer clothes to winter clothes. She’ll get one arm in her shirt and then get stuck. She says, “Mom, I’m stuck. Can you help me?”

I could easily just pull it down for her—and we’d be done. But then tomorrow she’ll do the same thing again.

If instead I say, “Hmm, what haven’t you tried yet? Where could you put your arm?” she starts figuring it out herself.

It’s a silly example, but it mirrors leadership. It’s faster to just fix it yourself—but it’s more valuable to let others develop the skill and ownership.

Different Leadership Modes

You’ll see that when we do it for them or tell them what to do, the answer comes from outside the person. You’re the expert, providing the solution. That’s a “push” approach.

When we ask questions and coach, the answer comes from inside the person. You’re helping pull it out.

That’s a “pull” approach—and it’s where growth happens.

If you’ve worked with Humanergy before, this might look familiar. In our “Greater Good” leadership model, telling and advising show up—but they’re a small slice at the top of the pyramid. Most of our time as leaders should be spent listening, asking powerful questions, and showing authentic respect—believing the person can come up with their own answers.

Building the Coaching Mindset

Let’s say you’ve decided this is the moment to coach. How do you switch from solving the problem to coaching?

That’s tough—especially for leaders who’ve succeeded because they’re great problem solvers.

We have a tool that helps: The GROWTH Model. It’s a simple structure for coaching conversations that keeps you in the coaching mindset.

The GROWTH Model

Each letter stands for a step in the conversation:

G – Goal
Help the person get clear about what they want.

• Do they want a promotion?
• To lead a project?
• To strengthen a particular skill?
   Ask: What does success look like? How will you know when you’ve achieved it?

R – Reality
Explore where they are now.
Ask: What have you tried? What’s in the way?
It’s like Google Maps—it needs to know where you’re starting and where you’re going to chart the best route.

O – Options
Brainstorm possible paths forward.
Ask: What choices do you have? What could you start or stop doing?
You can weave in your own ideas here as part of their options without taking over the problem-solving.

W – Will
Turn ideas into commitment.
Ask: What will you do—and by when?
This moves the person from possibility to action.

T – Tracking
Help them make the action measurable.
Ask: How will you track your progress? When should we check in?

H – Help
Determine what support they need.
Ask: What resources do you need? What do you need from me?

That last question—What do you need from me?—is key. It shifts you from directing to partnering.

Bringing GROWTH to Life

To make this stick, write GROWTH on a notepad and keep it on your desk. During conversations, glance at it:

• “Okay, we’ve covered the goal.”
• “Now let’s talk about current reality.”

You might even jot down one or two sample questions under each step to keep handy.

Another helpful tip—tell your team you’re working on your coaching skills. If you’re usually a directive leader and suddenly start answering their questions with more questions, they might think you’ve lost it! So give them a heads-up and invite their feedback.

Ask what questions are most helpful to them. This not only helps you improve but also builds trust.

Final Thoughts

Coaching isn’t about withholding your expertise—it’s about helping others find their own. It takes patience and practice, but when done well, it develops capable, confident team members who solve problems and grow on their own.

That’s the heart of effective leadership.