Know your Role!

Every morning that you're blessed to wake up, do you follow a routine or are you driven by purpose?  Know your role is just a reminder to find and act upon your purpose in life!  Question yourself, make comparisons with where you are and where you want to be and stay driven!

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

 Know your Role!

 Hello again and welcome back to Nighttime Nostalgia!  I want to start the show by thanking you for the positive feedback, it means the world to me!  Tell someone else about the show, write a review and make sure to subscribe for updates on the content.  I also want to know more about the topics that you’d like for me to explore, so email me at: nighttimenostalgia100@gmail.com.

 So last episode we discussed the idea of balance. A reminder for us to pay more attention to the important areas of your life to promote happiness and to increase your chance of success.  

 This week, we’re shifting gears a bit, let’s talk about the role that you were born to play. Your “Why” or your reason for being.  I believe that every person on this planet wakes up driven by purpose, or at least the desire to find one.  

 Some of us get blessed and find our purpose early on. It drives us, motivates us, and sometimes keeps us awake at night, but it gives us the comfort of knowing we have something to reach for.  Some of us spend a lifetime searching, trying different things, not necessarily finding our niche, and may die without the satisfaction of filling that void. 

Then there’s the rest of us.  We think that we’ve found our purpose but haven’t scratched the surface.  

 I went back and forth with whether or not I had it all together.  The more exposure I got, the more I realized the distance between me and purpose. 

 The career, the home, the car, just a rung on the ladder instead of the top.  Instead of being in the mentorship role or working with the elderly like I envisioned, I got caught up maintaining instead of impacting.  My purpose was sidetracked so I had to make decisions.   

 What moves you?  If I stopped speaking, turned the mic in your direction and asked you “What were you born to do?”   How would you respond?  

 The first time that I asked myself that question, I could only come up with cliché responses.  I’m here to make a difference, be a good spouse and parent and provide for my family etc., etc. I knew that there should be more to it, but I hadn’t explored it much to that point.  So I did a quick overview for perspective.  

 My dad moved from the southernmost island of the Bahamas to the northern most island, which would be like moving from a small city to the medium sized city.  He happened to visit his cousin at just the time of day that my mom and her best friend were playing stickball.  That encounter lead to relationship, to love, to marriage to my siblings and me. 

 There’s no way that these events happened for us to shift into neutral and coast to the end, right?  The lessons, the ups, the downs, the falls, the triumphs have to be fuel to accept more than the hamster wheel as our fate.  

I want to leave my kids with a legacy on how to excel, because anyone can exist.  

 So, I got anxious, I started questioning everything I did, Should I have switched majors, did I stay at my last job too long? Achievements couldn’t fill the void anymore, so what next, how do I do me?  

 If I could go back and change my “shoulda”, “woulda” “coulda”, what would have done differently?  So, I got inspired to develop a set of guidelines.  I wanted to learn more from my mistakes, find avenues to avoid repeating them, and to trade playing it safe for purpose.  So, let me share them with you.   

 1)    Branding

 Your brand is your trademark, the things that you’re known for, the things that people are attracted to and can sometime be turned off by. But it’s important none the less.  

 If you’re walking somewhere on a hot day and you see someone drinking from a red can with white lettering, even if you can’t make out the words, chances are you’re going to assume that that person is drinking a Coca Cola right?  Their company’s quality and consistency made them recognizable no matter where you are on the planet.  

 I didn’t have that, but I wanted that! 
At the time I was known for was being the quiet guy. 

I had different labels because I didn’t do the best job of defining myself.   

My church family saw me as reserved; my friends saw me as outspoken; my coworkers highlighted my work ethic; my relationships saw the softer side. 

 I didn’t put much thought into representing or standing for something.  So how do move from being all over the place to a recognizable force.  I wasn’t the open up and share type, so this posed a challenge.  

You ever visited someone’s house and got the grand tour of just a portion of their home.  You know they didn’t clean everywhere, because the moment you got close to a space that wasn’t prepared, they jumped in front of you like you were protecting government secrets, that used to be me.  

 I only showed the parts that I was most comfortable with.   In order to build that brand though, there’s a level of exposure that you’ll have to endure.  

 First things first, accept your purpose.  I loved the idea of working with and helping people. I learned, I saw different perspectives and the interactions shaped me over time.  Despite the fulfilment I felt, I worked in a corporate capacity for the majority of my career.   

 We make ourselves believe that there’s only one path to success, so we follow it even when it takes us away from what we were meant to do.  

You’re not too old to switch careers, you can still chase your dream, rely on your passion to be your compass. 

 Dive headfirst.  Like we talked about in “The Balancing Act” episode, even when we know what we want we struggle with how much effort we should put into it.  Fear causes us to play it safe and you’re not going to get the results you want if you go half speed.  

 If you believe in something whole heartedly, if you can’t live without it, if the idea of it shows up in every aspect of your life, its worth going all in.   

 It’s a difficult position to be in… leaving the comfort of the known for the unknown, but it beats being stuck in a position or a place that you know you don’t belong.  I do the 9-5 everyday waiting to knock off so that I can get to my real purpose.  

 Whether you find out today or 10 years from now, it’s never too late to reposition and live out your passion.  Freedom, Establish your true identity.  

 2)    Push/Drive

 I know who I am now, but where was I going?  I lacked inspiration at the time. Just like we talked about in the “Get in the Car” episode, my need for comfort outweighed my need for growth.    

 Even though I knew the things that I wanted, I struggled with the ability to get in gear.  I lacked the perseverance that lead to pay off.   

 This podcast for example, stayed a thought for longer than it should have because I got caught up on trying to find the right microphone, the perfect desk and a comfy chair. 

 I had no idea if this would be successful or if anyone would even care for that matter, but the small details kept me away from the big picture. 

 In order to activate your drive, you have to realize a few things.  Make sure that you understand your desire before you begin your pursuit. Research as much as you can, get a clear understanding, because the hurdles you’ll encounter can stifle motivation if you’re chasing someone else’s dream.  

 You’ll never get all of your “Ducks in a row”. The illusion that there’s a right time to do something has killed more dreams than we can fathom.  Once you’ve identified the direction to head in and the minimum tools to be successful, attack.  The rest falls into place as you learn to adapt and adjust.  

 Expect opposition along the way.  By now you know how life works, no such thing as a perfect path, just the people willing to make the best with the hand that they’ve been dealt.  It’s easier to dodge a punch if you can anticipate it coming.   

 Finding my purpose had less to do with the conditions and more to do with the bravery to make a move….. Take that first step!  Develop your idea of direction.

 3)    Exercise your Voice!

 Anyone who knows me know that I’m for the most part a low-key guy.  I try not to waste words, so when I speak, I want to make it count.  But I wasn’t always that way.  If the saying “A closed mouth don’t get fed” was literal, I’d die of starvation back in the day.  

 Several incidents of regret changed my outlook but one involving an old coworker of mine stood out more.  

 At the time I had this brash, annoying boss.  A loudmouth know it all, always boasting about what he thought were accomplishments, incapable of recognizing anyone else, let alone their problems.   

 So, we’re in a meeting and I’m daydreaming about chucking my chair through the window and making a run for it.  I got brought back to reality when my boss got elevated with my coworker because she asked him a question that he didn’t have the answer to.  

 My instinct told me to speak up for her, but I didn’t.  I watched her struggle at work that entire week.  She was dealing with personal and family issues that were affecting her performance, and now she had the added pressure of a petty boss that wanted to bully her because he felt that she bruised his ego.  I didn’t even care about the job so if he fired me, I might have given him a hug or a high five, but I stayed quiet, and I regret it to this day.  

 Now I have two daughters, who I’d want the world to treat fairly, and hope that someone stands up for them if cowards attack.

 Frankly, we have a responsibility to speak up not only for ourselves but for others.

Take a long hard look at the world around you.  Racism, hateful rhetoric is all alive and well, flooding your timelines and your news feed.  The small-minded are spitting venom with pride, and those of us who should be the voice of reason are just now starting to gain steam.  

 I complained about the extinction of our revolutionaries often, and I realized that the only way to replace the lames with legends is to speak up! Realize your Ability

 4)    Team

 Be mindful of the people you surround yourself with. The saying “Birds of a feather flock together” came about for a reason.  

 So, I knew this girl once, we all know this girl.  Smart and personable, never knew a stranger, always ready to light up the room with a smile.  She was ambitious and driven but couldn’t shake her attraction for guys that lacked vision.  The guy that is comfortable with good enough, who’s not going to change for anyone or anything.  

 She watched entrepreneurial ventures fall flat, struggled with her finances, and just couldn’t catch a break.  

 Her ideas were overshadowed by the discouragement that came with being loyal to him.  We touched on this in “A show of Support” episode but her experience confirmed my belief that you can’t achieve your dreams without the support of genuine people in your corner.  

 Everyone has limits to their strength, so you need to know that even if you have the best intention to pull someone up, sometimes their weight can pull you down.  

Surround yourself with like-minded people who share your ambition, who want to pass on knowledge and can contribute to your goals.  

 I’m not saying that you should run from everyone at the first sign of a flaw, because your presence can be a blessing in their lives, and there are some people who want to change.  But be sure you know how to cut ties if their presence becomes a hinderance rather than assistance.  Choose your Support wisely!

 5)    Dream Big!

 There was a time in my life when I limited myself.  Which made no sense at all since society categorizes you by stuffing you in a box.  Whether It be Social Economic Status, sexual orientation, academic, whatever, you’re judged, then asked to pick a side to help the world to understand you.  

 You can play your role and settle into one of the categories, you can think outside of the box, or you can Dream Big and realize that the box doesn’t exist.  

There’s going to come a time in your life, if it hasn’t already, where you have to decide to cuddle with the rest of the sheep or roar like a lion!

 So how do I dream big?  It’s very difficult to close my eyes and envision more for myself when the world I live in demands that I watch my back and stay alert?  

 You have to realize that you’re worth more than you give yourself credit.  Realizing a dream comes from your ability to endure.  

If you don’t believe that you deserve it, then who else will.  Your ideas, your desires, they stay theoretical until you decide to manifest them. 

 Transitioning from a dream to a reality takes action!  Identify your dream, understand the people and things you’ll need to accomplish, put a plan in action, hold yourself accountable with time frames.  

 I’ve lost track of the conversations I’ve had with friends and loved ones talking about the things that we want to achieve, don’t retreat because of fear.  

 Who’s to say that you don’t come up with the next big idea or become a difference maker in the world. 

 Every single success story that I’ve ever heard of refers to a time where their goals looked impossible. Malcom X used to be an inmate who had to brand himself before he found his message, Steve Jobs had to dream big in order to get out of his garage and revolutionize computers and telecommunications. Oprah exercised her voice to pull herself up from what most would think to be an impossible situation of adversity, and they’ve all succeeded by impacting the world as we know it.

They realized their Purpose!

 6)    Manage your Time

 When you kill time, ever wonder if it will fight back?

Time can be your greatest asset or your worst enemy, because if you don’t manage it, it will manage you. 

 I had to change out my stove and microwave recently and I didn’t get to hang the microwave right away.  One day turned into three weeks and work obligations piled up, yard work was waiting, and my wife was running out of patience.

 Now I could have told her to use it right where I set it, but then I’d have to rename this podcast to “Love Life without a wife” or “How to cook dinner for One”.  

The point of the matter is do while you may instead of when you must. 

Time waits for no man, so while you’re trying to achieve goals, while you’re trying to make sense of the world arounds you, the show goes on in the background.  Mismanaging your responsibilities can keep you away from your main purpose.  Control you time

 7)    Expand

 If you do nothing else, stay true to yourself and realize your goals, but when you do, make the biggest impact by sharing your knowledge.  

 I talk a lot about the things that I wish I’d accomplish and the areas that I fell down, and I always saw myself passing on these lessons to my daughters.   

 About a day after I expressed this to my wife, she calls me upstairs to watch a video that he had found of Pastor Miles Munroe.  In the video he was describing a dream that he had.  I’m paraphrasing but the gist was that he was attending the funeral of a track and field athlete.  The man was dressed like he was ready for a relay, and he had his baton clutched tight in his hands.

 The baton represented the knowledge that he had acquired over the years, and the casket represented his willingness to take it to the grave rather than pass it on. Don’t hold on to so much that you’re willing to die before sharing it.  Knowledge was meant to be passed on, give it freely.  It could mean the difference between someone finding their purpose or embracing death without one.  It’s you Duty/Responsibility

 8)    Be Humble

 Before your able to address anything in your life, you have to be alive to do so. I personally believe that every day that you’re blessed with breath in your lungs, is God’s way of granting you an opportunity to be great.

 That greatness comes by realizing your purpose of being an ambassador for God and by living as an example of triumph over defeat, success, fulfilment.  

 I’m big on weekend plans and the things that I want to do with my family, but a thought hit me last Friday.  I plan every event with confidence and have no promise of how long I’ll be around and shy away from the things that I have complete control over like the free will to become more than ordinary.

 At the very least, we’re going to live and die, your reason for being comes from the things that you do in-between.  We have to fight our primal instinct to simply exist.  Birds fly and fish swim, because that’s what they were made to do….what will people say about you?    

More things and people than you can imagine came together to give you a shot at success, the lights are on and the camera is rolling, know your role. 

1)    Brand yourself to gain your identity

2)    Push yourself in the right direction

3)    Exercise your voice and realize your ability 

4)    Surrounding yourself with a legit team 

5)    Reveal your purpose by dreaming big

6)    Control your time before you’re controlled by it

7)    Pay it forward by sharing your recipe for success

8)    Stay humble!

 So at this point of the show I’d usually give you a brief overview of the next episode, but I want to switch it up and take a look at your suggestions.  So, I’ll update you with a bonus episode ASAP.  Enjoy your week!