What if we told you that the power of community could be a lifeline in the fight against addiction? That's exactly what we discovered in our heartfelt conversation with Taylor. Weaving a tale that will captivate you from start to finish, Taylor provides a raw account of his trials with alcohol, and the transformative journey he embarked on in the quaint town of Salida, Colorado. He paints a vivid picture of his struggle, his fear of acceptance, and the immense power of a supportive community in recovery.
As the story unfolds, Taylor opens up about his initial resistance towards the warm embrace of the Salida community, a reaction that led him to a transient life in his car. A month later, compelled by the enduring memory of love and support left behind, Taylor made the courageous decision to return. He learned to face his fears, gradually letting the walls come down, fostering new friendships, and finding a sense of belonging in the process. His narrative is an emotional rollercoaster, filled with insights on the significant role of trust and community in recovery, and the profound impact it can have on an individual's life path. So tune in and share in Taylor's journey, a testament to the human spirit and a reminder that no one is alone in their battle.
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
What if we told you that the power of community could be a lifeline in the fight against addiction? That's exactly what we discovered in our heartfelt conversation with Taylor. Weaving a tale that will captivate you from start to finish, Taylor provides a raw account of his trials with alcohol, and the transformative journey he embarked on in the quaint town of Salida, Colorado. He paints a vivid picture of his struggle, his fear of acceptance, and the immense power of a supportive community in recovery.
As the story unfolds, Taylor opens up about his initial resistance towards the warm embrace of the Salida community, a reaction that led him to a transient life in his car. A month later, compelled by the enduring memory of love and support left behind, Taylor made the courageous decision to return. He learned to face his fears, gradually letting the walls come down, fostering new friendships, and finding a sense of belonging in the process. His narrative is an emotional rollercoaster, filled with insights on the significant role of trust and community in recovery, and the profound impact it can have on an individual's life path. So tune in and share in Taylor's journey, a testament to the human spirit and a reminder that no one is alone in their battle.
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
Hey, hey, welcome to season two, episode 11 of Monday State of Mind, brought to you by the Harmony Foundation. My name is Michael Mausel and I am your host. We are on season two, episode 11, and I am so excited to be here. Okay, you guys the guess it I have today. Well, first of all, let me just tell you, when I met him I was like dude, we're going to be friends for a very long time, maybe eternity, I don't know, maybe into the afterworld, who knows? He was somebody that I knew right away. I wanted to be on season two because if there's something that I have learned from season one of Monday State of Mind is that a lot of you listeners really like it when we have recurring guests and then you guys get to know them and you become a part of their story, like you feel like you know them, even though you don't really know them. So insert the amazing Taylor that I have today. Taylor, what is good in the heart?
Speaker 2:What's going on, Michael? I'm so stoked to be here.
Speaker 1:You guys, this human, he's just magic in human form. I am just so, so excited. So, taylor, first things. First. I want to talk about community. What do you want to know? I was like, what do you want to know? Okay, so the biggest thing that I really want to hit home on is that so many people, when it comes to getting sober, you have to change playgrounds, playmates, the whole kit and caboodle. That's what they usually say. If you want to thrive in recovery, if you're going to change one thing, you change everything. And if there's something that I have gotten to know about you, taylor, is that exactly what you did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely. Well, just starting off, when I was drinking, I didn't have a community and so I was always running from community. I was always running from feeling something. I was always running from love and running from shame and I was running from all emotion that comes with having a community like family and friends. When I was growing up, I didn't have a lot of family and friends and I didn't feel a part of, so I started drinking and so alcohol became my community and I didn't have anything else other than alcohol and I bounced around the United States a lot and then I landed in small Salida and I've been sober. Community has really saved my life.
Speaker 1:I've never heard this and I love that. You just said you know that alcohol was your community, and that is so true. And I've never heard that. I love that. You said that was your everything.
Speaker 2:It was so I started drinking, because I was always alone, and so with drinking you feel like all of the feelings, you feel so good, you feel like you can conquer the world at times, and then you feel like when you want to grieve, you can grieve even harder when you're drunk, and so what I had to do when I quit drinking is I was dry for a little bit and when I found community, I got to replace what alcohol gave me with feeling the lows but having support behind that and feeling the highs and having friends that support me during my highs and my lows. So that has been teaching me all about community and friends like yourself and other people I know here in town, and my life is completely different since being sober and moving here I've been able to watch it.
Speaker 1:And, taylor, I would love it if you would touch on even the reservations, because you have moved a lot in your life and for you to settle into a place where people love you and they want to be around you and they want to be your community. What was that like for you, taylor, to finally be able to be like wow, what would it be like to actually be in a spot like Salida for a while and not just pick up and run away again?
Speaker 2:It all started from do you want me to go all the way back.
Speaker 1:Go all the way back.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, where my drinking really picked up is I used to be married. I used to have a house with a white fence and a front and back yard and I had a baby boy on the way and I was nervous. So I started drinking a lot. That kind of got out of hand and that led to me getting a divorce and I kept drinking every single day. I was looking for something that I was trying to find in my marriage and then when that ended, all I had was alcohol. So I was like, fuck, what do I do? Oh, I'm gonna run to the Pacific Northwest. And so I moved to the Pacific Northwest. I tried to stop drinking for a day or two and then I started picking it up again Because you know, wherever you go there, there you are and I never could stay in one place because I felt like I was letting people down and it all stemmed from my marriage and I Kept drinking and drinking and drinking just to get that old feeling of feeling a part of back. Yeah, and I was drinking and drinking and pushing my own heart away, mm-hmm, because that love was always there. But I was moving. So I moved to Oregon.
Speaker 2:I lived on the beach in a tent. For a year and a half I lived at the bars, I lived at the clubs, I, and then I would go stumble back to my tent on the beach and then I ended up in Vale Colorado. Covid happened and I moved to Salida and I got sober and I had no alcohol. And that was probably the roughest time in my life Because I had no alcohol, no drugs, no family, no friends and I was like, what the fuck do I do? And I remember somebody who tried to help me in the past. They said they tried to get me in the rooms and that voice popped in my head and I truly believe that was my higher power. I found the rooms, alcoholics, anonymous, and I met a lot of good people and I got the love back that was always there that I was always searching for.
Speaker 1:So, ah, when we say community, community before was the bottle and now, taylor, what has it meant for you to make the choice? Because we always have a choice, especially being sober. You've made the choice to immerse yourself in community. Yeah, even in uncomfortable Times and even really rad times with community. But what happened? That was the catalyst for you to be like. You know what I want to stay and I love this community. What was that tipping point for you?
Speaker 2:The tipping point was when I tried to go back and do things my own way. So Back in January I was working here in Salida and I pretty much quit my job. I just Wasn't having it anymore and I was like you know what? I'm gonna go back to the El Colorado and live in my car and that's a great idea.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, no, it's because and it's honestly because, like I was having all these emotions that I would never was used to, christmas had just happened. I was feeling a lot of love from Christmas and that freaked me out and I was like, okay, what do I do? Everybody says that they love me, everybody says that they care for me. You know, I care for them too. But I was so freaked out and so I made these little excuses. I was like I'm not quit my job, I'm gonna search for a whole nother job.
Speaker 2:And so I went back to my old life and veil lived in my car and I saw how much myself will Got me. I was freezing in my car again. I had no friends, no family, and so after a month I was like you know what? I'm going back to slide it Because you don't know what. You got cuz gone and it was gone and I wanted it back immediately.
Speaker 2:So I came back to Salida and dive right back in the rooms and got in the community and really just immersed myself in the big. But it's been seven or eight months and life is fantastic. Now I got a place, my car's an actual car, it's not a home and I got a really good job and my friends really never left or abandoned me like they had in the past or my family abandoned me. That was huge for me. You know, coming back and everybody just welcomed me back with open arms was incredible. So that to me was like what community I always wanted. And I'm like you know what. I think I'm just going to settle here in Salida and really focus on helping other people and that in turn, helps myself. Yeah.
Speaker 1:What's interesting that I see also, with a lot of people getting into recovery, taylor is making new friends, right, or even like the trust factor because, like you said, at the end of your drinking, isolated by yourself, your community was your bottle and I just love that. You said that. I freaking love that. You guys like we're going to tagline that shit, we're going to trademark it, no big deal.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I'm putting on a t shirt. There's trust, right, and there's also people have a hard time getting into new community because it's trust and it's acceptance. Can I trust that these people are really going to be here for me In my willing to accept a new way, a new environment, even in my life? And I would love it if you could talk about because I feel like for those of you that are listening to this Sometimes like if you are struggling with trusting to bring new people into your life, or trusting that when you pick up that phone to call them that they're going to be there, it's hard and it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:It's super uncomfortable to find new friends, but it's also what I look at is a and community. That that is our medicine for recovery. Oh yeah, and so I would love it if you would touch on what was it like for you to lean that trust with community. What was it like for you to be able to get into that acceptance piece of just being like, wow, you know what. I can accept these new people and not even that I have to. It's like I get to accept this new community. That's helping me thrive.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I think we all come into the room, it's like just kind of broken and shaken and and I came into the rooms and I had my head down and was looking at everybody and judging them and and I wish I saw this.
Speaker 2:Taylor, oh my God, no, you don't. No one says that. They're like yeah, you had your head down. You just look like you were looking for a friend and it was.
Speaker 2:It was very sad and I was judging everybody because at my core, I was judging myself. I never thought I could be sober like these other people and so I was like how did they do this? Like they were like this person has an angle kind of just letting that whole judgment piece go and just accepting people for who they are. You know, I've met people that are completely different from me different backgrounds, different politics, different everything and just seeing them for human beings and that helped me reconnect with myself and that built trust in myself by trusting others because I couldn't trust anybody else. And even when I was a dry drunk and trying to get sober, I couldn't trust anybody because I thought I was going to get hurt.
Speaker 2:And then one of my really good friends in the program and what? My sponsor. Actually he was like the first person I trusted and I slowly saw these things come back into my life, these promises that he talked about from the big book, and I was like, okay, I trust this guy. And then, once I started working the program and seeing other things come true for other people, I was like I want more of this. So I started trusting and trusting and trusting more, found my higher power, trusted in that, and then I could start to believe in myself.
Speaker 2:I'm not a piece of shit like I thought I was when I came in the program and so my confidence came back. And now you see me in the rooms and I'm waving at people and high five and everybody and I'm just like these are my people. I felt like a cool kid. I walk into the rooms and I'm just like the fawns or something. You know not to not to be egotistical, but I love it and I'm just like. I feel good about myself and in turn, I can help other people. And that all comes from trusting other people and trusting myself.
Speaker 1:And so I feel like if there was anything that you could say to the person that's listening to this, it is that's struggling with this idea of community or struggling with this idea of wow, like my friends are also gonna be in recovery, because a lot of times, like I will say for myself, when I got sober, I held on to friendships that I thought I needed because I was afraid of this identity shift, or I was and I was afraid of losing them. And when in doubt, what was really happening is that I was holding onto something that wasn't creating a healthy space for me. And when I was able to detach with love from these old friendships that they served me for a time, I was creating space for new friendships to come in and serve me in this part of my life which is now recovery. What would you say to people that might be struggling with leaning in to their recovery community, leaning into new people that are really there to support them?
Speaker 2:I had the same notions coming in, that my way of thinking was the right way, and all I can say to people who might think the same way is set aside your notions of what you think the program is, set aside your notions of who you think you are and set aside your notions of what you think a higher power is, because if you just go in with a willingness to accept everything that the program tells you, I guarantee you'll get more back than what you're expecting. And I'm still sober, but I had to completely find my humility and I had to completely go in with an open mind and lay all my judgments and what I thought the program was. In the doorway I would just say, yeah, do that.
Speaker 1:This is what we do. You guys Like, we come on here and we share real life experiences, because that's what this is about. It's about myself and the people that come on here. They're here to share openly and freely so that hopefully, it can touch you, and that's what we're here. We're here to be here to help you guys grow and evolve. So, taylor, thank you for being here today. Oh, of course, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:Taylor, if anybody wanted to get ahold of you and all of you guys that listen to this, it'll be in the show notes, but just so you can say it. If people wanted to reach out to you or even follow you on social media, what are ways that the world can get in touch with you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably the best way to reach me is on Instagram. My Instagram name is I am Taylor Haynes. That's H-A-Y-N-E-S. That's my last name and you'll see a picture of my face. And that's me.
Speaker 1:That's another one in the books. I am so stoked, Guys, I will see you again. You will see him again. This is amazing. This is how we do Before we part ways. I do want to remind you that help is available. If you or someone you know is in need of assistance, please reach out to Harmony Foundation at 970-586-4491. Because together we build better humans. All right, you guys, we'll see you next week. Thank you.