How often do we hear stories that inspire us and guide us toward healing ourselves? Steve Aronson, a spiritual advisor at Harmony Foundation, graces us with his presence and invaluable insights on addiction and recovery. As a beacon of hope, Steve lays bare his journey from addiction to sobriety - encapsulating the essence of a warrior who fought a battle against the three-fold disease of alcoholism and drug addiction, impacting the mind, body, and spirit.
Carving a path to recovery and maintaining it is a daunting task. But what if you had someone who's walked that path and emerged victorious? Steve emphasizes that consistency truly is critical. Sharing his personal story of transformation, he elucidates the importance of replacing old, harmful habits with new ones. From starting his day with a joint to ending it spiritually, Steve's journey resonates with the struggle of every addict. He further highlights the role of a sponsor, a home group, and the importance of having a clear strategy to navigate the recovery steps.
Steve's exploration of spirituality is as diverse as it is enlightening. Raised as a Lutheran minister's son, Steve embarked on a journey of faith, exploring teachings from Jesus, Buddhism, Taoism, and Native Americans. This exploration led him to weave a unique tapestry of recovery and spirituality. He reminds us that the divine is omnipresent, and the path to recovery is open to all. With the right guidance at Harmony Foundation, Steve believes we can all work together to build better humans. Listen as he offers a helping hand to anyone fighting the good fight of recovery.
Want to reach out to Steve?
Email: saronson@harmonyfoundationinc.com
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
How often do we hear stories that inspire us and guide us toward healing ourselves? Steve Aronson, a spiritual advisor at Harmony Foundation, graces us with his presence and invaluable insights on addiction and recovery. As a beacon of hope, Steve lays bare his journey from addiction to sobriety - encapsulating the essence of a warrior who fought a battle against the three-fold disease of alcoholism and drug addiction, impacting the mind, body, and spirit.
Carving a path to recovery and maintaining it is a daunting task. But what if you had someone who's walked that path and emerged victorious? Steve emphasizes that consistency truly is critical. Sharing his personal story of transformation, he elucidates the importance of replacing old, harmful habits with new ones. From starting his day with a joint to ending it spiritually, Steve's journey resonates with the struggle of every addict. He further highlights the role of a sponsor, a home group, and the importance of having a clear strategy to navigate the recovery steps.
Steve's exploration of spirituality is as diverse as it is enlightening. Raised as a Lutheran minister's son, Steve embarked on a journey of faith, exploring teachings from Jesus, Buddhism, Taoism, and Native Americans. This exploration led him to weave a unique tapestry of recovery and spirituality. He reminds us that the divine is omnipresent, and the path to recovery is open to all. With the right guidance at Harmony Foundation, Steve believes we can all work together to build better humans. Listen as he offers a helping hand to anyone fighting the good fight of recovery.
Want to reach out to Steve?
Email: saronson@harmonyfoundationinc.com
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
Welcome to season two, episode 14 of Monday State of Mind brought to you by Harmony Foundation. My name is Michael Mausel and I am your host. I opened up this topic last week, talking about spirituality, and this is a topic that I said is vast, and it's something that it deems respect. It deems people coming on here giving different perspectives so that all of you that come on and listen can hear from somebody that you might relate to.
Speaker 1:The guest that I have today. He is a special human to us at Harmony Foundation. I will also go as far as to say he is also the reason why we have so many people seek out Harmony Foundation, because he is an incredible spiritual advisor. But he's also somebody that when you sit down with and you talk with, he's the real deal. He changes lives. He is a gift to so many humans that walk through the doors of Harmony Foundation, that feel broken, that have no idea even where to start with spirituality. He is a vessel for so many humans and Harmony Foundation is so lucky to have him here, to be able to share his gifts with our clients, and then our clients that leave here in turn share the gifts they have heard from the Steve Aronson to the world. And so, steve, I am so grateful you're here on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you, michael. Wow, just sitting with Michael, the energy is vibrating. She raises vibration, which is a really cool thing. Thank you for that introduction. Actually, it's an honor to work at Harmony. My wife jokes and says, because I'm a little out of the box, and she says everything you've done your whole life has trained you to work at this place.
Speaker 2:I didn't even know there was a job like this, but I put it out to the universe a few years back and Dot Dorman, who was our director then and somebody else knew me contacted me and said I think we have a job for you. It's pretty unique. It's called a spiritual advisor and I literally something about the law of attraction, probably two weeks before it put out to the universe. I, just as I get older, I said what do I really want to do with the rest of my life? I've been sober a long time. I've been practicing spirituality, I've worked with troubled youth for years, sponsoring people, and I said what do I want to do? And I literally wrote a door on a piece of paper and I wrote above it spiritual teacher. And I didn't know there was actually a job like that and it was probably two weeks later Harmony called me and said they had this job and I applied for it. I didn't think I'd get it because there's other people that had more degrees, but I know Dot Dorman. I owe a lot to her. She saw something in my heart and she says your heart seems in the right place where you could meet people of all varieties, whether they're atheists or Christian or they don't know what they are, and so that's kind of how this journey started.
Speaker 2:I do things out of the box. I take clients into the woods, we dig holes, we bury trauma. We have a beautiful place called a medicine wheel. I started in 2016 and it's a place of prayers where we put prayers and rocks and we do healing. I mean, this is fresh. I just got back from a ceremony with the women and yesterday we buried some trauma with another client. We have a 12 step trail and there's a pretty cool story up there and we use that for healing. There's a bench for each of the steps and then at the top of the mountain, there's 12 stumps around the fire pit and we have ceremonies there. So I like to talk about the triangle when people come here too.
Speaker 2:I said we have a nasty disease. It's of the mind, the body and the spirit. And to me, most people and I'm frank with clients and I turn the negative into a positive but I do tell them most alcoholic and drug addicts will die of this disease. It's a fact, it's always been there and it's scary, but I said to me it's not rocket science and it's not complicated to get and stay sober, it's consistency. But you have to look at it as a three-fold disease, that there's something a little different about our mind, our body and our spirit.
Speaker 2:I heard once, kind of humorously, that we alcoholic and drug addicts are just like other people, except more. We like more whiskey, we like more tequila, we like more drama, we like more whatever it is, and we go to extreme highs, to extreme lows. We tend to be oversensitive and this is not a good or a bad, it's just something in our nature that we tend to go overboard. So just realizing that this disease is not something you ask for, but it is of the mind, the body and the spirit. And so I talk a lot about being a spiritual warrior, a sober warrior, and what I mean by that is I don't fight alcohol and drug addiction and fear and hate. I arm myself. I arm myself with the 12 steps, with my creator, with poetry, with nature, with helping other people, spiritual books, devotionals it goes on and on. There's all kinds of healthy medicine out there.
Speaker 2:So just to break this down a little bit to me, a warrior is something that takes ownership for your circle, your life, your words, your action. But I'd be gentle with him. I said it's hard to take ownership when you look at how you've hurt your family yourself, you've destroyed your liver, you have a DUI. But I talk about the first doorway to being a spiritual sober warrior is taking ownership without the beatings. My sponsor Travis taught me that years ago because he saw that I'm very hard on most of us are hard on ourselves and he saw when I would look at my circle just a metaphor for my life and how I treated my mother and my father and my sister and my grandma and everyone that loved me, and basically it was just they were watching me die and when I looked at how I'd hurt them I started to beat myself and that's where I would relapse. So I really feel the first doorway or step to being a spiritual sober warrior is looking at your circle and taking ownership for what you've done without the beatings.
Speaker 2:There's a line from John O'Donohue that says may there be kindness in your gaze when you look within. And when I read that I actually cried because it reminded me of Travis told me the same thing years ago is take ownership for your life, but without the mental flogging and beatings. And then when I heard that line, may there be kindness in your gaze when you look within. You can look at that, how you've hurt people, but you don't have to beat yourself. This is not easy, but the warrior part is that you clean up your circle. And that's what the 12 Steps is all about is cleaning up that circle, especially through things like the fifth step where you tell your whole life story to somebody, the shame, the guilt. You get that scared little boy, little girl out on the table and you deal with it. And then the ninth step making amends. That's where my circle started to finally clean up and I could stand with dignity in my own circle. So Back up to the triangle taking care of your mind, taking ownership for what you read, watch and listen to. That can change your life. Take ownership for what you read, what you watch, what you listen to Garbage in, garbage out.
Speaker 2:I was using alcohol, drugs, hanging out with negative people. I had a negative tribe and I wondered why my life sucked. Well, I was not intentionally, but I brought it on myself. It's just a natural law of the universe. You know, garbage in, garbage out. So I said now I love sharing this, so I'm very open about you know, I'm in recovery, obviously. But let's just take something simple how you start and finish your day. I thought this was rather clever.
Speaker 2:When I was using, I always had a joint next to my bed, so I'd smoke a joint before I got out of bed because I wanted to be stoned as soon as my feet hit the floor. That's how much suffering I was in. I didn't want to be sober for one moment. And then I would stay stoned throughout the day mostly, and I'd get inebriated at night. Just the start and the finish. I started my day with a joint and I ended. I couldn't sleep unless I drank tequila or whiskey right out of the bottle.
Speaker 2:So, yes, so the in between. Now, so if you start your day with a joint and ended inebriated every night, what happens in between? So I said now, first thing I learned when I sobered up was to always start your day with a spiritual reading, like a devotional. Now we have we have a bookstore here we have literally dozens of devotionals. Back when I sobered up, there was only a couple, but I had the 24 hour book, but it's just one little page.
Speaker 2:So my sponsor taught me the first thing you do before that monkey mind takes over that crazy rush hour traffic in your head, is to read something spiritual, just a devotional, one little page. It's a way to start your day and then, when you go to sleep at night, right before you turn your little lamp off, read something spiritual. I later learned that this is actually proven, that it marinates in your brain and goes into your dream state when you read something spiritual or positive or even a wonderful poem, right before you turn the lamp off. So here's a difference between night and day Start stone, go to bed drunk and now start it with a devotional and end by reading something spiritual. And then you turn your little lamp off, you lay your head on your pillow and rather than worrying about all the crap in your head, you can at least pond or something positive. And that was my first journey to sobriety. What could be more simple? But I noticed so many people I work with that relapse. I think they don't do the consistency. It's all simple, but it's consistency.
Speaker 1:Can you speak to that? Yeah, cause I love the spiritual aspect is so important. But it's just like you said, when it comes to recovery, it's not when we pick and choose, it's for a lifetime and there has to be consistency so that it becomes like a working part of our mind.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely just habits, and they even call it now we could get fancy and call it neural pathways, but I had the neural I just call them like roads in my brain, these neural pathways of deep depression and anxiety and using alcohol and drugs. And I do not believe in lying, cheating or stealing, I believe in being a man of your word. But I had lost all that. I just lost it. And so to develop new neural pathways, I had to learn to not trust my feelings. I know in therapy and we always talk about get your feelings out and talk about your feelings which I agree with to a point but my feelings deceive me. You know my feelings. I'd read a devotional and I'd still be anxious and I go well, this isn't working because I feel depressed still. But what I was taught is you consistently have to keep like making these new neural pathways. So I kept reading every day because I was desperate, and at night I would read something spiritual again, or something from the big book or anything spiritual or recovery based, and after a while, really within a few weeks, it's not that everything changed, but I just noticed little differences and you're creating these new neural pathways in your brain and you're not as anxious, you're not as depressed. And then, of course, you throw in things, habits like going to AA or NA or whatever recovery program you choose, and you get a sponsor in a home group. I really like to shoot from the heart. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't found AA a little deeper than that. I also wouldn't be here if I didn't have a home group and a sponsor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I sobered up I was a complete mess. I couldn't go to a big AA meeting. I was too nervous and so I found a little obscure meeting in Denver. It was called Eureka and it was an attic of a house and it was kind of funny. It was like in high school I belonged to a gang called the losers and we were the misfit toys. I went to AA and still felt like a misfit. So I had to find smaller groups of obscure people. It's not always easy to go to a one hour meeting and open up about everything. It's not all about you. You have to hear from everyone. But the home group is usually a small group where everyone knows your name, like cheers, and they notice if you're missing. I started making coffee there and back then we cleaned up ashtrays and I got a key to the place which I couldn't believe. They gave me a key to their house.
Speaker 1:I can't believe they gave me a key. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:So there's simple things, but they add up and the consistency of starting your day with a prayer and ending it going to an AA or some recovery meeting, getting a sponsor so you have somebody you can call it anytime, night or day, having a home group where everyone knows your name. And let's just say you make coffee or set up tables, you fill a part of it and then you start the steps. There's no way I would have gotten through the steps without a sponsor, because I tend to balk and to kind of want to rest on my laurels when I get through a step. And he would point out things like at the end of the third step prayer in the book it has this word. It says next. Sponsors can be real smartasses and Travis, my sponsor, was taught he used tough love a lot. So anyway, I finally got through the first three steps and we read the third step prayer together and he said what does it say after this? The next word, after the third step, after you've done with the third step, and it just says next. And he made me highlight that and his point was the way you know, because I wasn't sure if I'd actually done a third step. I turned my life over, but I didn't really feel that much, but I was desperate and I was doing the best I could. And he said well, the way you know you've done a third step is you do a fourth step, you start writing your resentments and fears, then you do a fifth step. That's how you know you've done a fourth. So that's what I'm saying, and my sponsor, literally, and my home group and my creators saved my life.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't be here today If I had just gone to a one hour AA meeting and gone home alone to my lonely apartment downtown Denver and with my cockroaches. I was very poor. When I broke up I lived in this little crappy cockroach apartment. I couldn't just go home to that. So I had a home group, I had a sponsor. We'd hang out together, we'd go to coffee after meetings and I slowly opened up and you know, and I had to get in touch with my spiritual side.
Speaker 2:Okay, so back to the triangle take care of your mind, take ownership of what you read, watch and listen to. Then I had to learn to take care of my body. Garbage in, garbage out. I had to learn to start eating well, spending time in nature, exercise, walking, going to parks, whatever it was. I love hiking and that became part of my taking care of the body and then got into some supplements and herbs and just trying to get rest and later learned to meditate and do Tai Chi in Qigong and it just kind of grew from there. But to me it's imperative that we also take care of the body.
Speaker 1:And you do that here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do that. I teach this here. I get to teach this here.
Speaker 1:You guys. That is the and that's what I love about you, steve, is that's the game changer that I feel like. You allow the clients to come here for the spirituality you get them out in nature. Yes, you get them out so that you can just say hey, there's things that are so much bigger than being in an apartment, in a car. Connect back with mother nature.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely, and I have the honor of working at Harmony. We have 43 acres up here and another 12-step trail on the medicine wheel in a river, and we can't always have that. I sobered up in Denver so I couldn't. I'm a mountain man but I would try to come up on weekends. But during the week I found the most gorgeous parks in Denver. I mean, every city has parks and just to go sit on a bench under a tree and just look at the pigeons and squirrels, there's something healing about nature. And then so let's get to the third part of the triangle. That's the spiritual. At least to me it's the base of the triangle, it's the most important, because if I don't connect to something bigger than myself, I cannot stay sober year after year through self-will. There's no way. This is a big ass disease. There's my language.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love it.
Speaker 2:It is a big disease and so but think of that foundation and and this can be so many things that I love this part of my job. It's a challenge, but I love it. It's the foundation is connecting to something bigger. We get clients every day here who have no idea what spirituality is. I work with a lot of people that have religious trauma and people from a hostile atheist to fundamental Christian everything in between. So I love to meet people where they're at, and so many times people are much more spiritual than they think. Oftentimes, especially when I was young, you were taught there's religion and non-religion. You're either religious or you're an atheist.
Speaker 2:I said what about the spiritual world? And that has to do with to me, with love, kindness, compassion, interconnectedness, nature. You know you reap what you sow the law of attraction. And I said we can expand from just religion and not. And I said if you have a religion that you're a part of, that is wonderful and if it's working for you, please stick with it. But a lot of people that have been raised than are religious they're, a lot of them are very confused because they frankly think they're going to hell, because of their life.
Speaker 2:So they've been raised with the heaven and hell. Good people go to heaven, bad people go to hell. Well, I would definitely be going to hell then from what I've done. But I say I always encourage people not to change their beliefs. But you can always change your perception of God, the Creator, the higher power, to something more loving and compassionate and seeing that it's a loving creator, it's not a hateful creator that's sending us all the hell. And I said if that works for you, then go for it. But we can look at our creator in a different way.
Speaker 2:And people, I've noticed, need names, because sometimes they say well, how can I just pray to the universe or a tree if I don't know what I believe in? Or a doorknob? That's a crazy one. But I said sometimes, names and making it personal help, and I personally love names from Native Americans because, let's face it, there's a lot of baggage if I say God or Jesus. There's a lot of baggage around God. We've killed tens of millions of people in the name of God. So I said sometimes and it's just a name to me that the creator is the creator. It's vastly more than we can understand, but to me it is so real. It's energy, it's everywhere. So these are some names that you might try and find one that fits for you, but I love the name creator, great spirit, and even they often refer to God as the great mystery.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so I was taught my dad was a Lutheran minister. I love him, he passed on. He was actually a very kind minister, but I was raised kind of that old belief of heaven and hell good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell, and it's kind of that simple and frightening. And so I had to learn to just even change in the name to creator. Help me, because to realize that there's this infinite creator out there that I can tap into at any time. But it's invisible, it's mysterious. I think when I first sobered up, I know I wanted God to be like Santa Claus or a fairy that would just wave a wand over my head or something and just fix me.
Speaker 2:And so I got mad at God because I prayed to God all the time. He said God, my life's a mess, would you please fix it. And I felt completely disconnected and so I felt God wasn't listening to me. And I've learned this from many different native friends and Buddhists and Taoists and Christians Is that many people that they see God is just everything, and I realized that I was looking hard for some bearded God up there sending people to hell. It's pretty hard to relate to. But when I started looking around at the sky, at the earth, at animals, and just realized that I'm serious God to me is everywhere, it's everything.
Speaker 2:And for me I have a tapestry in my office here and I love telling people that are very confused. You can create your own tapestry of recovery and spirituality. It can be woven together with different things. You can see the compassion of Christ and you can see the wisdom of Buddha that taught us to cut off desire and meditate and simplify our life. Taoism teaches us to flow like water, and I love that. It's not a religion, by the way. Taoism is more of just a way of life. Even Bruce Lee loved this. He said be water, my friend. Water's a powerful analogy of it. It flows over and around things, it doesn't just crash. Always Natives taught me to love the earth and animals and plants.
Speaker 2:So I started to develop because sometimes people I'll joke I've been asked this a number of times at Harmon in a humorous way by a client. I'll say Steve, what the hell are you? You quoted Jesus, then you quoted Buddha, then you're talking about native wisdom, then you're talking about the four agreements and Toltec wisdom, and then you're talking about your own kind of view on things. And Sufi poets. And I said what are you? And I say I'm a tapestry. I said but to me tapestries are beautiful Because, let's face it, religions do focus on different things, but I think they're all saying the same thing.
Speaker 2:But Christ really does. He forgave the woman that committed adultery. He said he who was without sin, throw the first stone. And I went back, even though I was a minister's son and went to Bible college. I went back and read all the teachings of Jesus and they were amazing and I did not see this judgmental God that I was raised with. I saw a man that forgave a woman that committed adultery and the law of the church. So the religion was to stone her to death. So I saw hmm, that's not judgmental. He hung out with lepers, with tax collectors, with Samaritan women. Were Jewish men, which he was, weren't supposed to talk to Samaritan women, and he did. He treated women as equals. He healed lepers, and so I saw this unbelievably compassionate prophet or God, or whatever you want to call him that had no money, lived outside and was a healer.
Speaker 2:I'm serious about this. I do not try to influence people's beliefs, so most of the people though or they wouldn't be here people come to treatment because they're suffering their mind, their body and their spirit. It's almost like just tweaking your perspective. I love this saying when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. We can't change God, the almighty, but we can most definitely change our perception and this idea of a tapestry. So, like I say, you can take the compassion of Christ and we can learn from the Buddhist. Even I don't.
Speaker 2:I study Buddhism, but I'm not saying this is good or bad. I just for some reason I don't particularly like me and labeled anything, but I love studying Buddhism because for 2,600 years, they've been teaching mindfulness and simplicity, and so the many books I've read in practice have become part of my tapestry. Christ is part of my tapestry. I love that Daoism. I mean Daoism. Who does not want I'm serious, I don't know any human that would not want to flow more like water and soar like a hawk? And that's what it's about is not fighting life, but not being passive. It's just making slight adjustments. Dude, just like water.
Speaker 1:Steve just made an aha moment, so if any of you are listening to this, I hope you caught that aha moment, Like what I just heard you say, with the idea of tapestry, like rooted back into that person, multiple people saying what are you and you saying that I'm a tapestry and also talking a lot about love Right there. I feel like that is everybody's invitation to being like. It doesn't have to be one thing, Like it gets to be. You all get to decide what your tapestry looks like that's gonna allow you to find that freedom or to find that peace Like oh hell yeah, Steve Erringson, oh, I'm glad that Michael can see it.
Speaker 2:It is a beautiful tapestry.
Speaker 1:It's a beautiful tapestry.
Speaker 2:What's neat about the tapestries when we look at it. It's irregular, but it fits together so beautifully because it's so original. So I tell people, if you don't find an original, let's just say spiritual life. You're gonna get bored. And I don't ever get bored, I'm just always expanding this tapestry. There's no end to it.
Speaker 1:I love this. I'm gonna take your word tapestry in front of it because, like you said, our spirituality is always growing and evolving. Your tapestry can always change and evolve, right.
Speaker 2:Ah, I'm so. I love aha moments. We're having one together. A lot of people love this idea I touched on it earlier of being a spiritual warrior or a sober warrior or a peaceful warrior, which I consider myself. I arm myself with all this spirituality and this tapestry so I don't have to drink or drug. But a warrior does not always follow other people's path, and this is part of the tapestry and this kind of came from Joseph Campbell and the hero's journey, which I don't have time to go on. That could be our talk, but Joseph Campbell coined the phrase the hero's journey. These things are all the same, the tapestry, the hero's journey.
Speaker 2:A spiritual warrior is somebody that follows their heart and does what they feel is right, and it's always for the good of the tribe too. It's not selfish, it's what's best for you and others, but it's just listening to, and he called it following your bliss. I just love that. My two favorite prayers I've said for years now that keep me safe and sober. I say show me what's in my heart and may I walk in beauty. Those are powerful prayers because they take me out of my monkey mind. My ego, which is the ego, is always judged in fear and judgment of self and others. But the heart sees the connection between all things. So that simplifies it. Show me what's in my heart, because that's my connection with my creator, and may I walk in. Beauty helps me slow down and pay attention, but you see, it's kind of fun. Why not think of yourself as a spiritual warrior, as a sober warrior? You're not fighting this disease because it'll take you out. But if you arm yourself and I even have humor sometimes, think of yourself as Wonder Woman with those wrist things and somebody says, hey, you want to go smoke a joint at work and you go no, thank you. You want to go have a drink after work? No, thank you. You want to go to an, a meeting tonight? Yes, you know, learning to say yes and no is life changing, but also just arming yourself. A lot of clients this speaks to them because so many people have relapsed and I've relapsed for four and a half years. I have these. I still have it in my office.
Speaker 2:I would write after my relapses and I have several of them written. They're haunting, but it was very interesting. I tend to learn the hard way because I had the crap beat out of me by alcohol and drugs and all the relapses, I would write OK, I relapsed again, I need to fight this harder, I need to work the steps harder, go to more meetings. Just I need to work harder. And I would work harder and I wasn't working and I finally hit my bottom. You don't always know it, but I finally hit a bottom, which is a total place of desperation. I was just at my bottom and I felt my soul dying. So horrible thing. That's what caused me to quit, as I felt my soul dying and I felt if I drank one more day, I would cross the line or I'd never come back.
Speaker 2:But my point is, when I hit the bottom, of course I had to do the steps and get my sponsor back and get my home group going again. But something happened that's hard to explain. It was organic. I just started working the steps, but it wasn't like I got to work these harder. Now it became organic because I felt I just this is the right thing to do. Yeah, and it was more like flowing. It was still hard, but now I also felt connected to my creator I use these three words and this is what happened when I hit my bottom.
Speaker 2:I became open, teachable and malleable and so those are imperative, is like when I was trying to fight it harder, I wasn't open, teaching and malleable. I thought, ok, me against alcohol, I'll work these steps so damn hard it doesn't have a chance. So there's where surrender comes in and surrender is not running away. It's becoming open, teachable and malleable, which is actually strong beyond belief. Because that's the point where I connected to God and right, I connect something bigger. I finally connected with a loving God, my tapestry. I do not allow hate and violence and judgment to be in there, because to me God is love and so I can call God the creator and call him the great spirit. I can not even call him by any name and just say I need help. And so when I say, show me what's in my heart, I am most definitely speaking to my creator, but it's it's more like connecting with it. So some of this is hard to put into words because it's a shift in consciousness.
Speaker 1:We'll be doing more.
Speaker 2:It's a shift in your muscles. It's like my muscles were tense when I was trying to work the program I'm hard. When I started working it more organically it's just like I kind of just start, softened. But I was doing the work but it wasn't desperately fighting it and me against, because then it's me against alcohol and drugs and I ain't going to make it.
Speaker 1:Then Steve, you guys. There you have it, and this is only a blip of Steve Aronson, and he will be back. This will not be the only time that you get to hear from Steve Aronson. Steve, you are a gift to Harmony Foundation. There's a reason you're sober, like there's a reason he's here, and so, again, you guys take notes. Please share this episode with somebody you know is struggling with spirituality. There's a lot in here that allows you to have an open invitation to make it what you want. Steve, thank you.
Speaker 2:Awesome. Yeah, once I start talking, you got to stop Like thank you, I think Michael and I don't apologize for our passion and here's why I almost died of this disease. I was just one breath away from death. I probably would have died if I drank one more day. Yeah, and so I know there's a way out. And how can you not get excited about sharing? You know the things I've learned over the years that have worked for me and other people in a nonjudgmental way, just sharing stories, and that's why I talk through stories and I take people in nature and storytelling is very big for healing. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, you guys, if you want to get a hold of Steve, we'll put something in the show notes. If you have somebody that's struggling to and needs help, you know where to go and you want to get them here, and then, when they come here, they get to be a part of Steve's magic, you guys. And so that's how I want to go ahead and end this episode. What a beautiful episode.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Michael. Thank you for your passion for harmony and recovery in life. Harmony, recovery in life.
Speaker 1:This is what we do, or we part ways. I want to remind you all that help is available. If you or someone you know is in need of assistance, please reach out to Harmony Foundation at 970-586-4491. Just remember that together, especially with Steve Aaronson, we build better humans. We'll see you next week.