What does it taste like to sip from the cup of spirituality while walking a path of sobriety? Join me, your host Michael Maassel, as I engage in an insightful chat with Megan, a testament to the transformative power of spiritual growth and recovery from alcoholism. Her journey, marked by a shift from rigid religious views to identifying spirituality as a source of wonder and curiosity, paints an inspiring picture of overcoming trauma, guilt, and shame. Listen closely as Megan shares her liberating experience in embracing her alcoholism, a step that sparked her quest toward spiritual enlightenment.
Have you ever contemplated the impact of small, incremental choices in shaping our spiritual selves? Our discussion takes an exciting turn as we delve deeper into the puzzle of willingness and practical spirituality. Megan's compelling narrative of her last night of drinking - an ordinary night that ushered in her sobriety journey - serves as a poignant reminder of the power of choice. Let's explore how staying connected to our spiritual selves and embracing the power of pause before reacting can revolutionize our lives, one small decision at a time. Megan's story is not just about sobriety; it's about discovering and nurturing the spiritual self within, a journey we all must undertake.
Want to connect with Megan?
Email: m3gm0v35@gmail.com
IG: m3gm0v35
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
What does it taste like to sip from the cup of spirituality while walking a path of sobriety? Join me, your host Michael Maassel, as I engage in an insightful chat with Megan, a testament to the transformative power of spiritual growth and recovery from alcoholism. Her journey, marked by a shift from rigid religious views to identifying spirituality as a source of wonder and curiosity, paints an inspiring picture of overcoming trauma, guilt, and shame. Listen closely as Megan shares her liberating experience in embracing her alcoholism, a step that sparked her quest toward spiritual enlightenment.
Have you ever contemplated the impact of small, incremental choices in shaping our spiritual selves? Our discussion takes an exciting turn as we delve deeper into the puzzle of willingness and practical spirituality. Megan's compelling narrative of her last night of drinking - an ordinary night that ushered in her sobriety journey - serves as a poignant reminder of the power of choice. Let's explore how staying connected to our spiritual selves and embracing the power of pause before reacting can revolutionize our lives, one small decision at a time. Megan's story is not just about sobriety; it's about discovering and nurturing the spiritual self within, a journey we all must undertake.
Want to connect with Megan?
Email: m3gm0v35@gmail.com
IG: m3gm0v35
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
Hey, hey, welcome to the season two, episode 15 of Monday State of Mind, brought to you by Harmony Foundation. My name is Michael Mausel and I am your host. Here we go, here we are in National Recovery Month. Ah, so good. Happy Monday. What is good in the hood?
Speaker 1:Hopefully you've already been up, maybe you've already ran 10 miles, maybe you're still stretching in bed having that first cup of coffee, matcha, tea, water, whatever it is, or you're listening to us in the middle of the day. Check it. Whatever time you listen to us is the right time for you, and you will always walk away from Monday State of Mind with tools, tips and tricks to help you with wherever you're at in your life. It is just you guys. This podcast is amazing and I'm so grateful for the continued support from all of you, so we're going to dive in, you guys.
Speaker 1:We have been talking about spirituality. I know sometimes when I say that you're probably cringing and you're like, oh God, we're talking about this, we hire power. I'll say the word God, great outdoors, all the things. This is a necessary component, I believe, to recovery and also to everything that we do at Harmony Foundation being 12-step base spirituality. This is something that is a game changer for people's lives, and my guest today.
Speaker 1:She's incredible and she is somebody that, when she talks about spirituality, the way she talks about it you guys and that's why I was so excited to have her on there's so much conviction and when you hear it, you're like holy cow. She has lived it, she was on one side and now she's on the other and she can talk about it in a way that is so relatable for any of you that might be digging your heels in and you might have all these questions and you're like I don't know what to do. That's why you're here today to listen to this amazing human, as her and I dive in. She's such a light in recovery and I'm so grateful that Divine Intervention allowed us to come into each other's lives and we laugh our butts off and we cry and we hug it out, and that's what you do in recovery. And so, okay, can you please tell the world who you are?
Speaker 2:Hey, Michael, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 2:My name's Megan and I'm here in Salida, colorado, which is Michael's new haunt, your new hood. What else do you want to know about me? You're probably an alcoholic. I'm definitely an alcoholic. I can 100% say that with conviction, saying that is the most like freeing thing I've said maybe in my whole life, which is shocking and not something that I ever thought would happen or was possible. But it has given me permission to be free and to search for freedom and to search for liberation and to search for spirituality. And I think before that the culture that we live in or that I find myself in doesn't necessarily say like, prioritize time for you and your spiritual growth. No, like give your time to everyone and everything around you. But whenever it was Megan, shit is real, you got to get after it. Then I was like I'm an alcoholic and now I get permission to do everything that I can to prioritize that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, I love that you said the world doesn't say, hey, take time for your spiritual growth, or to even say why is spirituality or why is connection to something bigger so important. So okay, megan, check it. Okay, like, let's dive in. When you thought of spirituality and getting sober, did you have any beliefs about it? Did you have things that made you dig your heels, and what was that transition into looking at it? What was that like for you?
Speaker 2:So I guess I'll say that growing up I went to church, a Protestant Christian church mainstream. I wouldn't say that my family was overly zealous or evangelical in any way. I would say that God was a presence, right or like the idea of a Christian, god was a common topic. I guess I had some trauma associated with church when I was in high school and I felt like it was my fault. For a long time I no longer feel that way, hooray, and I think for a long time I also pushed that down and didn't really give it the weight that it deserved. That and recognizing that even then. Actually this is the first time I'm thinking about this. Actually, if I look back at that time, I was engaged in very black or white thinking at that time this was high school, right into the very beginning of college.
Speaker 2:So early teen years, mid-teen years, and that black or white thinking, like we know as alcoholics, that's touchstone key. It's either this or it's that. I'm going to drink nothing, or I'm going to drink all of it. I'm going to eat no cake or the whole cake. So even at that time I remember thinking, oh, god is this or God is nothing. And actually when I say that out loud. It reminds me of the big book that talks about either God is everything or he is nothing. And God is everything, which I just see it so differently now. But again, my sobriety gives me a lens to see things differently, and I used to see them before. I connected it with trauma and pain and shame and grief and guilt. Now I connect it with wonder and awe and curiosity. I don't understand any of this. And isn't this rad? Now it's much more of a gift. But yeah, coming to the point of sobriety, I definitely. Well, I guess maybe I should just share. I mean, my higher power was there from the beginning. I didn't know it Kindsides 2020.
Speaker 2:So the last night I drank, it was nothing special, there was nothing happening. It was literally like I think a Friday night, but not a rowdy Friday night. Like I'm a mom, I got two kids, my husband's in bed. Like we got some dogs, it's whatever. It's just not special. What happened was, you know, kids were in bed. My husband was like I'm tired of going to bed. I was like, cool, I'm going to sit on the couch with the remote and watch whatever I want to watch and I'm going to drink everything in the kitchen and eat all the snacks and it's a mom's dream. And so I started on it, man, I got after it and you know I drank a lot but and I passed out, fell asleep, woke up in the morning and my husband said, wow, did you have a party last night? And I was like, what are you talking about? He was like well, the kitchen sink is filled with beer cans. And I was like ooh. And I remember thinking like oh, I can't really lie my way out of this one because it's right Like the cans are all empty in the sink. There's nobody else awake in the house. So I kind of brushed it off and was like whatever, it's cool.
Speaker 2:And I left to go do something and I was with some people for the day and I kept getting these text messages from these two friends of mine who don't know each other but who are still sober people in my life, really super close sober people in my life, and at the time they were the only sober people I knew, both in the rooms of alcoholics, anonymous but not necessarily well, actually, one was not just sober, the other one was, but sober nonetheless, and I kept getting these text messages all day that were just like basically explaining their story to me via text. Here's when I stopped. Here's how I knew I needed to stop. Here's what it was like. I experienced strength and hope in text message form all day and I kept looking at my phone going why the hell are they texting me this on the same day? Why what is happening? So I looked back in my phone, actually just took a picture of this text the other day, so I'll never forget it.
Speaker 2:I looked back in my phone from the night before and at 9 30 PM that night before, I had sent a text message to each of them separately that said what happened that made you know that it was time to stop drinking. I didn't remember that. That was blackout, megan, I don't know. But when I look back on that and when I look back on the reality of that, I know that that was a nudge from my higher power. That was a nudge and, for whatever reason, I decided to listen to it because it was that nudge that was playing in my ear then from then on, and so at that time I thought, okay, you know what? This is fucking weird, I gotta listen to this, I gotta listen to this. So I would say that that was kind of the first entry point of Megan. There's something going on here. You can't explain it, don't try, just go follow it and see what happens.
Speaker 1:So I'm Woo. It's like goosebumps right, megan, and what I hear so much of what you just said about the entry of all this is like spirituality isn't just woo out there, it can happen in human form. There's a reason all those things happened for you, megan. Would you identify spirituality, that it can show up as not just a woo, it happens in human form and like speaking through people?
Speaker 2:Yes, it's so incredible really, my entry to this and my entry to sobriety, that little whatever, that blackout thought in my head was like something's up, Megan, and here's your clue. But that was just that little fleeting feeling. What brought me in was these two friends of mine texting me their experience, strength and hope all day long. And then people in my community here, because I knew that I would not follow through with any of this shit if I did not reach out immediately, and because I had these friends who were sober. I knew that and they were living it too right, they were like they were sober out loud, and so I knew that I could also find people who were sober out loud. And so I just started talking to people and I just started kind of putting my feelers out in my community here and I realized, oh, there are people all around us, but we don't have eyes to see them if we're drunk, If we're what a shocker. And so I started to be like, oh wait, that person's sober and that person doesn't drink, and that person's talked about how their parents are in AA, whatever you know.
Speaker 2:I just started making these connections and I got brought to my very first and I wasn't like I need to go to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Speaker 2:I was more like I need to figure out a way to not drink and I'm up for anything. So I was like I'm gonna read all the Quit Lit books and I'm gonna go to this other group that does like meditation based recovery stuff and I'm gonna you know what, maybe I'll try AA, I don't know. Like I was just open to whatever, I was all of it, and so I came into my first meeting of AA and this is another like lovely part of living in a small town. So I think that that's also scary for some people. Right is like being sober in a small town where anonymity is tough yeah, 100%. But for me, what this brings me in this small community is my kid's teacher took me to my first meeting. She was she is a sober alcoholic in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and she brought me to my very first meeting and I was like how rad is that? Like my babies who are learning from this incredible human who is learning who is a sober alcoholic.
Speaker 1:Right like talk about reducing stigma.
Speaker 2:Magic, magic, yeah, it just. All of these people are how God works. Everybody has different names for it, and some people have no names for it, yeah, which sometimes I can't name it at all, I just feel it, you know you just connection, love, relationship, that's it too.
Speaker 1:I love that you said that, megan. Thank you for saying that it doesn't even have to have a name. You guys, so many of you out there, put this pressure on you that if I don't have a name for it or if I don't identify that it looks like this man in a white robe with a beard, then you're failing. But the thing is just like you said, megan, like it can be a feeling, it can be, like you said, love. You don't have to say God, great outdoor, higher power, big man upstairs, jesus, you don't have to say any of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think also a word for it is willingness, because let me tell you this, this is rad.
Speaker 1:Oh, here we go.
Speaker 2:I need to tell you this. Yesterday, yesterday, at the grocery store, I'm doing my weekly grocery shopping. Okay, I run into a person in the aisle where the milk and the eggs are.
Speaker 2:And oh the milk and the eggs. You know the milk and the eggs Typical place where you talk about sobriety. No, and you know, and I don't really know them that well, but they look at me and they I've met them a couple of times, they've been to a couple of meetings and they just look at me and they go I need your phone number. And I was like okay, and I like texted them my phone number. We connected for a minute and they were just like I wanna connect more and I was like cool, rad, let's do it. You know, whatever, see you later, let me get some milk. Talk to you soon. Literally walk down the aisle around the corner. Here's another person walking my way who I've met, I don't know, twice in the rooms and she comes right after me and she goes.
Speaker 2:I really wanted to talk to you the other night after the meeting but you were talking to people Will you be my sponsor? And I was like I'm sorry, I just need to get some veggie burgers out of the freezer section. What, yeah? So again, willingness. I was willing to say hello to this lady by the eggs and the milk and say, hey, what's up to this other lady by the veggie burgers in the frozen section and God came in, man, and I was like holy shit, I just got slammed at the grocery store. And but the thing is is, if I had shot myself off, if I had been unwilling to be connected or have a connection with other human beings not God, not Jesus, not spirit, nothing, not higher power, just other people get some groceries If I were closed off to that, I could have missed that. But it's just that willingness to just be like hey, there's another human being, let's connect.
Speaker 1:I love that you said that and it is. It's willingness and action, it's willingness and choice. And you guys, I just want you to know what Megan's story that she just shared, that happened at the grocery store, that happens all the time, all day, every day, for anybody that has that willingness. And so, megan present, you've got some time. You know Megan's got some time and sobriety.
Speaker 2:Only a minute, only a minute.
Speaker 1:When you look at it on a daily basis for your spirituality. What does it look like in Megan's life?
Speaker 2:Yeah, there are some very practical parts of my spirituality. I pray all the time. I pray all day, every day.
Speaker 1:I remember amen, sister amen.
Speaker 2:All day, all day, and sometimes it is just God. Where are you at, god? Where are you at? Where are you at? Sometimes it is just a hey, I'm here. That willingness, that opening up to some sort of spiritual connected, some sort of intuition maybe is a better way to say it. So I pray all day long, every day. There are several prayers that I have, you know, in my back pocket, that I pull out on a whim and I'll repeat to myself while I'm on my bike or while I'm driving or while I'm walking the dogs. And so those prayers, though, they give me some meditation time, they give me some quiet introspection and connection with not other human beings. They give me that time and then, when I'm kind of armed with that quiet self, that quiet connection to myself, then I can go out into community and into this world and connect with human beings, and that's whenever the spirit comes through them. But also I'll say Michael, some days I'm like screw all this.
Speaker 1:I don't want to, I know. I was just going to say can you please talk about the days that you kind of throw your hands in here and you're like I'm not doing this today? What does that look like for you? Because, let's be real, we're not perfect, I mean, so I have those days. I'm like I am not. I'm not going to invite this.
Speaker 2:If people who know me listen to this, they're going to be like she's a liar, she's a mess. They're not wrong. They're not wrong. Some days I choose spirituality and some days I choose violence. Michael, some days I just can't do it. You know, some days I just can't and I wake up and I'm going to funk and I'm in self pity and sometimes valid shit. It happens.
Speaker 2:Life is legit hard sometimes, yeah, and there are several times where I'm like, yeah, I have every reason and every right to be in a piss poor mood all day long and shut myself off to everybody. I have a friend in the rooms who he says look, sometimes you can't do the next right thing, sometimes it's just not possible. So the best thing that you can do is just not do the next wrong thing. So sometimes my spirituality looks like Megan, hold back, don't go lashing out at everybody, just pause. Pause before you freak out.
Speaker 2:Sometimes that's as spiritual as I get and sometimes even before that, that doesn't even happen. I can't even do that. So sometimes my spirituality looks like pausing after I've been an asshole and apologizing and making an amend and trying again. But all of those little moments are moments that I never would have thought were possible or that I was capable of choosing. Before I stopped drinking, well before I, like, got into what it means to be living a sober life, yeah, so it looks a lot of different ways and I love how you said it's not a white man in the air with a beard. These are small, little incremental things every day that we can just say like, maybe I'm willing, maybe I'm willing to like not be an asshole today. I think that's pretty good spirituality.
Speaker 1:Thank you for bringing some practicality to this, because that's what I needed in early recovery. It was overwhelming, and so for you to break it down, for anybody that might be new in this or you're like looking for something different, it can be as simple as just don't be a jerk today. You can just not be a jerk, and that is enough. No one is perfect. I just wanna ask you like one last question on the whole spirituality, and don't worry, you guys like she'll be back, but since you've been willing and I'll use that word willingness what is spirituality brought into your life that you look at now? You're like because I have chosen this, this is what has happened for me, and when I wake up I can smile or I give it the heck. Yeah, because of this.
Speaker 2:Man, that's a good question. I'm sure that a lot of people relate to this. Fear is like my middle name.
Speaker 1:Oh how.
Speaker 2:Fear is the thing that I'm the best at, I'm so good at it. And when I am actively saying, you know, I think I might choose curiosity and wonder, and I might choose to believe that things could go well instead of everything could fall apart. When I do that, my fear fades away, and that is spirituality. That's spirituality Again. I am a human being who's fucking scared all the time, and I mean hell. I'm medicated for it, I'm in therapy for it, y'all. It's real.
Speaker 2:And with that I can be afraid and I can be willing to say I know that I am safe, I know that I am held, I know that I am loved and I am okay and I know that whatever happens is gonna happen and it's out of my hands and that's a relief. On the one hand it can be terrifying, but on the other hand, what a relief that I don't have to hold this. It's so heavy, I get to just set it down. And that, I think, has been a really obvious part of what spirituality does for me is. There's been a lot of life changes, which I'm sure we'll talk about, but there have been a lot of opportunities for me to grasp at. How can I control this? How can I control this? And what spirituality gives me is the opportunity to say you know, I can't control this, I'm gonna set this down and I'm gonna just be willing to do the next right thing and see what happens.
Speaker 1:Drop the mic. That's all she wrote. You guys, I tell you, if you guys put this on repeat, megan, holy, wowza, I'm sitting here. I'm like I can't wait to be like somebody, this new in spirituality, to be like dude, check out this episode with Megan. It's gonna make sense Like, check this out. Storytelling is key for connection and feeling like wow, like I might be able to do this too, like if Megan can do it, I can do it. Megan, thank you for being on your premiere for Monday. Say to mine, cause she's not done here, baby Megan, I'll be back. You're a gift.
Speaker 2:You're a gift, michael, you're a gift.
Speaker 1:Here we go, you guys. All right, get going, take these nuggets with you, share them, share this podcast with anybody you think would benefit from it. Before we part ways, I want to remind all of you that help is available. If you or someone you know is in need of assistance, please reach out to Harmony Foundation at 970-586-4491. Just remember that together we're building better humans. All right, you guys, I'll see you next week. Ventures are up next.