Have you ever wondered how to navigate life's challenging transitions with grace and resilience? Our guest today, Megan, has a powerful story to tell. She's grappled with a cascade of life-altering events, from embarking on her journey to sobriety to supporting her husband on the pandemic's frontline. But it's not just about the struggles she's faced. It's about the strategies she's used to face each day, the power she's found in community, and how she's learned to stay present in the midst of fear and uncertainty.
Megan's story is a testament to the power of resilience in the face of adversity. She shares how the choice to stay sober became a cornerstone in navigating other major life changes and offers practical strategies for staying calm - pausing, insulating oneself, and focusing on the next right thing. She also delves into the role fear and control play in transitions and how to handle them with grace. Megan's insights are not just inspiring; they're practical and applicable to anyone undergoing significant life changes. Join us for an enlightening and inspiring conversation. You might just find the strength to handle your own life transitions with a newfound sense of grace.
Want to connect with Megan?
Email: m3gm0v35@gmail.com
IG: m3gm0v35
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
Have you ever wondered how to navigate life's challenging transitions with grace and resilience? Our guest today, Megan, has a powerful story to tell. She's grappled with a cascade of life-altering events, from embarking on her journey to sobriety to supporting her husband on the pandemic's frontline. But it's not just about the struggles she's faced. It's about the strategies she's used to face each day, the power she's found in community, and how she's learned to stay present in the midst of fear and uncertainty.
Megan's story is a testament to the power of resilience in the face of adversity. She shares how the choice to stay sober became a cornerstone in navigating other major life changes and offers practical strategies for staying calm - pausing, insulating oneself, and focusing on the next right thing. She also delves into the role fear and control play in transitions and how to handle them with grace. Megan's insights are not just inspiring; they're practical and applicable to anyone undergoing significant life changes. Join us for an enlightening and inspiring conversation. You might just find the strength to handle your own life transitions with a newfound sense of grace.
Want to connect with Megan?
Email: m3gm0v35@gmail.com
IG: m3gm0v35
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
Hey, hey, welcome to season two, episode 19 of Monday State of Mind, brought to you by Harmony Foundation. My name is Michael Mausel and I am your host. I kicked off this topic talking about major life transitions. Major life transitions are hard. They are messy, mixed with excitement, mixed with I don't know what the heck I'm doing, mixed with I can't wait to do it. It is mixed emotions and with mixed emotions.
Speaker 1:Like I've said a lot on season two, everything that we talk about there is just a common theme. Always in the common theme, you guys, is anything that we're doing is rooted in fear. It's rooted in control. You can always bring back anything that we don't want to do or that we're growing through. There's some sort of fear, level of control that we want to have, and what we talk about here is how to move through it with more grace. How do we move through this fear, this control that is embedded in almost every single thing that we do? How do we move through it with more grace? And so that is why we do this.
Speaker 1:I come on solo and provide tips and tricks. In life experience. I bring guests on that can provide a different perspective that you need to hear, because you're like I can't relate to Michael, but I can maybe relate to this human being. That's what this is about. And when we do that, like I say about Monday State of Mind, we're building connection so that you know, hey, I'm not alone in my crazy. I am not alone in my crazy, so we're going to dive in to talking more about life transitions. And you guys, we have this wicked human back.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll just tell you who it is, because you already probably know her. Megan is back. She talked so much about spirituality and provided so many awesome practical applications for you guys to really dip your toes in and really understand what it's about. And so now Megan is back. And if there's anybody that's like an expert on handling major life transitions, oh my God, it's Megan. Because, like, a lot of it has happened recently for Megan and she'll attest to it when she talks. And I was like you need to share this because there are so many humans that are going through what you have gone through, or continuing to to some degree, that they need to know that it's going to be okay amongst the mess. That is why she is here. So, okay, megan, what's good? How's it going?
Speaker 2:Hi lady, I'm thrilled to be back. Thanks for having me back.
Speaker 1:Okay, Megan, we're just going to dive in. We're not even going to dip our toe in. It's like we're jumping off the diving board diving in.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty good at that I think you're pretty good at that.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, when things happen that are uncomfortable and unfamiliar, the first thing we do is we get rid of anything we've ever known about grace and spirituality, we throw it out the window and we turn into this person that we're like. Who are you and why am I doing this? Knowing all along, we have the tools to handle it with grace. And so, megan, there's been some things that have happened for you in your life, in your family's life, when it comes to transition and being somebody in recovery. What has it looked like for you to pull tools out, aka spirituality, out of your back pocket and put it in your front pocket to be like, hey, this is when, more than ever, I need to rely on this, especially in moments of uncertainty.
Speaker 2:Man, what a perfect topic as it relates to sobriety, especially because my last drink was on January 10th of 2020. So my first sober day was January 11th 2020. So 2020, y'all, what a year. Right January of 2020, I get this little blackout message like hey, megan, you should start looking at this right, which I shared a little bit about on the spirituality podcast. And so I hit the ground running like how am I going to do this? I could not have known what was coming around the bend.
Speaker 2:In less than two months later, my husband is a medical professional. He is a family medicine doctor, he is a frontline worker, he is also a public health medical official, which I admittedly, didn't even know until COVID came around and was like hey, babe, why don't you quit this whole doctor gig and get a different job? And he was like no, but all of this to say I only got a little bit of time of sobriety, of not drinking. I guess I should say to clear my head before bam, hey, there's this crazy thing COVID-19, we don't really know. But here it comes right.
Speaker 2:And then, the second week of March, here, it's like the schools are closing and my husband is the dude Like he's in our community. He's one of just a handful of primary care physicians, and so all of this to say right at the beginning I'll never forget somebody a friend of mine who's not sober, but somebody who knew that I had stopped drinking, said when this was starting to come on in March. They said, man, you picked the wrong time to quit drinking. And I thought, oh wow, oh wow, how are you?
Speaker 2:Grace, thank you. Oh, wow, I was like talk about how the higher powers speak through people. I was like that's a message, because here's what I know. Covid came then not very long around. That same time, I had deaths in my family of people that were really, really close to me. Since then, we've had job changes. We've had situations where we didn't even know there would be a job. We've had really really significant health challenges in my family. All of this has happened in this last few years and I am in awe of how, the more these changes continue to happen, the more I am reminded.
Speaker 2:No, no, you picked the exact right time to quit drinking, Because if you had still been drinking when COVID came in, when your dog died, when your grandma died, when your husband had a freaking skull infection because that's a thing that happens when all of this happened, if you were still drinking, if drinking was still a tool for you, you would not be here, like I would not be here to talk to you on this podcast. I would not be. Yeah, I mean spirituality, life changes. You better believe I was terrified and at the very beginning I didn't have these really readily available tools.
Speaker 2:Yet.
Speaker 2:I knew I wasn't drinking and I knew that I just needed to kind of lean on other people who were doing this deal, and so I did.
Speaker 2:So I, like, used my phone list, I reached out, I met with my sponsor as much as I could, over Zoom, because everything was shut down. I was just leaning on and trying to trust that people that were around me who have done this work, who are living sober. They would say to me like this is what you do, just do this, just do this, just pray, just be open, read your book, hit a Zoom meeting, be nice to your husband, take your dog on a walk. And so that was at the beginning. That's what I had to rely on until I came to a place where I was like, oh, I see where my higher power is working. I relate to my higher power, I'm actually experiencing spirituality in the midst of all of this uncertainty and mess and fear and lack of control. So that's kind of been my entire sobriety path up until now. Honestly, it started in the most wackadoodle year on record.
Speaker 1:I love that you said that Talk about transitions, right. Sometimes we don't see him coming, and especially when I will say, like Megan said, she was new in sobriety, and so I love that we can kind of gear this, even Megan, towards people that are newer in sobriety, because I think it's super important being somebody early in recovery with all these life transitions. What did you do with recovery that has been able to help you with all of those major life transitions, so that you didn't go back and drink, you didn't go back and die? Because here's the thing at its core you guys, I need you to understand that transitions, major life transitions, are what take a lot of people in recovery out. It is what takes them out to go drink again. It's what takes them to death, and I don't say that lightly, it is real and it happens every day. And so I wanna ask you, megan, for you being early in recovery, that's enough in itself to deal with being early in sobriety. You made a choice. What were the choices you made to walk through these transitions?
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, I'm so glad that you said that. We have a mutual friend in the room, a mutual woman here in Salida who says she brings it up in every meeting and it's sort of a joke because it's like, oh God, here she goes again with this and she says, look, we drink and we die. She says that every time we joke around because it's like, wow, that's heavy and it's true. And so it is such a good reminder because I look back now and I can very clearly see we saw globally how people turned to alcohol who had never had any inkling of alcoholism or any sort of abuse or addictive personalities at all. All of a sudden, when COVID came and all these people found themselves stuck at home, you saw this abuse rate just dramatically increase. And so for somebody who was already well aware of my dependence on and my abuse of this little alcohol situation, for me, who already knew that, it's a blessing that I knew that it's a blessing that I kind of already knew like, hey, this is a problem for you, so don't pick that one up. A lot of people didn't know that and then they picked it up and then they died, to be frank. So I will say that also in early sobriety, when all this shit was going down, I had a lot of old timers be like and they didn't tell me. Then they've told me more recently now. At the time they didn't want to rock me, but they've told me now they're like that was the hardest time in their sobriety because they had this long standing expectation of what sobriety looked like and then it was just rocked Right.
Speaker 2:For me I think it was kind of a blessing that it was early sobriety, because I didn't really know any different. I had a sponsor that was like I'm supposed to tell you to go to more meetings, but it was like there are no meetings Like everybody's on Zoom for the first time. I was like that's fine For me. I didn't know any different. So when I look back I can see the blessings Now. At the time did they seem like blessings? Absolutely not. They seemed completely impossible.
Speaker 2:And I think that as a coping mechanism I did not have the capacity to see much further in front of me than maybe the next day or the next hour or the next minute, which again, as I mentioned in the last episode, I was here with you with that's that black or white thinking. Then I thought, ugh, like I just can't, I cannot see any further than this moment. But then I know now that that's the point, that's what the next right thing means. You can just live right here, right in this moment, Just do the next right thing and that's all you have to do.
Speaker 2:At the time I did not have the tools to understand that I was doing it, that that's what I needed to do. Now I understand that was it. At the time I felt paralyzed, and now I feel a relief because it's like really all I have to worry about is this next minute. So early on, I would just say it really was day by day, and sometimes it was hour by hour, Because I didn't know how I was going to get a meeting, because my husband was pulled away. We have two kids. I had no idea what the hell was happening. Nobody did. I had no choice but to put down all of that fear and all of that wondering and all of that speculating and all of that. I just could not. I was incapable of doing it, and so at the time that felt like paralysis, but now it's like, thank God, that's what kept me super.
Speaker 1:Right, thank you for saying. Major life transitions, you guys, the fear and the future tripping, holy cow. And I will say, even for me as a person who's got some time under my belt and recovery you know, a couple of years ish, you know maybe a little bit more than that Fear and future tripping will take me down, it'll cripple me. And so even today, as you've been through transitions and you look at fear because that's the first thing we do, we get into fear because we want control over how is this transition going to happen. We future trip because we want to try to control the outcome, to prepare ourselves for like, hey, it could be 10 different outcomes, but at least now, if I think about all of them, I'm going to have the solution. So I'm ready when in doubt no-transcript, we don't know.
Speaker 1:So what for you, Megan, happened when you had that realization of like? Why am I doing this? Why am I in fear and why am I future tripping? Because those two things don't get me connected to spirituality and don't keep me connected to willingness to just be.
Speaker 2:Michael, I wish that I could tell you that I get to that place by like picking up the jewels and like doing the dang thing. I wish I could tell you that that's how I get there, and sometimes, by the grace of God, sometimes I choose that route, but sometimes and I would say, when it comes to big life transitions, big changes and shifts in what's happening around me, I've gotten to this place of sheer and utter just done, just done. I am on my knees and I'm like what do I do? That gift of desperation that we talk about sometimes that's what it takes.
Speaker 2:And I remember very early on, just a few minutes into this business, covid was just coming around. We were at that time where we were like wiping down our groceries and we were like, oh God, it's on our shoes. You know what I mean that time. And so I remember I was out in the front yard with my kids. They were running around playing, and I get this phone call from my husband and he's like, hey, listen, I don't know when I'm gonna be home because I need to connect with some public health officials to make sure that it's safe for me to come home. And then that minute I thought, oh wow, okay, so I might lose my husband, my children's father, my partner that, like, keeps our house running and keeps our family going. We are partners, we are teammates. Everything might be done, as I know it. And in that moment I remember this dude who was pulling a burly bike trailer with a baby in it, which is how we do in Salida, you know, michael.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was riding right by my house and he stopped and I was like crying I was kind of trying to hide it from my kids in the front yard and he stopped on his bicycle and he looked at me and he goes are you okay? And I said, well, first of all, I don't know who the hell you are, but you know I didn't say that out loud, but I thought of my mind I don't know who this person is and I was like yeah, I'm okay. And he said do you need me to call somebody? I was like what in God's name is he talking about? Who is this dude? Please keep riding. And I was like no, no, no, I'm okay. And he was like okay. He was like do you want me to wait here? I was like no, no, no. So he kept riding and it took me a minute to realize that he was a guy in the rooms who has kids that are around the same ages as my kids and he saw what was going on and he was willing to stop.
Speaker 2:Again, anonymity is tough. Some things are tough in a small town, but in this case, that maybe saved my life that day. Oh my God, it's true. It's true, this shit is true, I do not make this up. And so just to say that sometimes it's the gift of desperation that brings me to my knees and I don't act very great, I don't, I can't see outside of myself and I lose it all. But then I'm able to say, okay, megan, what can you control? And the only thing that I can control is what I am doing in this moment and that's it.
Speaker 2:And then, since the very beginning and since going through COVID and everything that happened then more recently, we went through really significant work and health changes and struggles, and that experience has helped me so much to be able to say we could future trip all day about all this. But the only thing that I can do right now is just think about what's the next choice I'm going to make. And this time I've been able to do it with my husband because it's been about his job and about some sickness that he went through, and so I've really been able to now kind of share the tools that I learned in recovery with him and say, babe, we got to focus, put our heads down, get in our huddle and just do the next thing and everything else. We just got to watch, just wait, see what happens. But we can't get anywhere until we do the next thing, which, michael, I'm going to tell you right now. That is a total difference from my attendant, that is not how I handled life.
Speaker 2:Absolutely not. I was a crazy. The world is ending, it's all over. I was just living in hyperbole all the time, and so this is a major shift for me in my life and in my family's life. Now, ooh, I can talk about that all day. I'm rambling now.
Speaker 1:But it's true, perfection will never be something that we can strive for. But what I will say and what Megan I know is here to say about transition, major life transition, is that we do have a choice and you're not going to be perfect. But I also believe that sometimes having messy parts of dealing with major life transition, that's a part of the human experience and that just arms us with more facts about ourselves and how we can show up differently when other transitions come up, so we can be like okay, last time I didn't really handle it so well, but maybe this time it can be a little better and it can be a little different. The biggest point is what I will also hammer home, and I think that Megan will also agree to this is the biggest point with any of these major life transitions is that you stay sober. That's right, you stay sober.
Speaker 1:And so for anybody, megan, that is in early sobriety or not even early sobriety, I'm just going to say for anybody, because I feel like we're always learning, we're always learners and teachers what are a couple of things that you would just say to people that are going through it or they're about to go through it? You want to drop to be like hey, like these are just some things that have worked for me, that I think could work for you. What?
Speaker 2:works for me is pausing, pause. Just pause when the shit hits the fan instead of running away. Just pause before you do that. If that's the choice you make to run away and freak out fine, but at least you'll have this little tiny moment right before you do it where you let God in, which this brings in spirituality again, but just that moment of silence and willingness to let something happen inside of you other than panic, fear, freaking out, losing it. Pause, that is essential. It gives me time to breathe and it gives me time to not lose my shit.
Speaker 2:Secondly, I think that for me, I've learned that it is okay to kind of insulate myself so that I'm not flailing around like a crazy octopus gone mad. I can say, megan, stay still, stay still. You want to freak out and run away? But just stay still for a minute. And just, what's the next thing you need to do? Do you need to drink water, which is usually what I need to do? Seriously, I usually need to drink water because I'm usually just drinking coffee. It's a problem, I'll deal with that later. I drink water. Have a snack that's not a fucking cookie, megan, jesus. Have an apple, or like some lettuce or something. Have a snack, sit down.
Speaker 2:So just the next thing and I think that that's a saying that we hear all the time like do the next right thing, and it can be a little nebulous, but really what it means to me, what it looks like in my life, is am I hungry, am I angry, am I lonely, am I tired? Have I drank water? Probably not. Do I need to go to the bathroom? Maybe Deal with that. Just the next thing Is there a kid I need to pick up? Is there something that needs to happen right now? Because then that can help my brain from just going nuts, so pausing, and then, after that pause, you get to decide what's the next thing I need to do. All the shit still is there, but I'm a lot more able and willing to walk through it. I'm not if I don't center, pray, chill, drink water, eat an apple.
Speaker 1:I mean a guy. You guys eat like an apple.
Speaker 2:It's just simple. It's simple but really hard, so hard for me, so hard for me to choose those right things to do. I don't choose those things. My tendency is to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's Like that's my tendency and to drink a pot of coffee. It's not to choose. Be kind, be still, be slow, be. It's not that, but it changes things. It changes things when I do choose that.
Speaker 2:So, and the other thing that I'll say though that's really important is I don't do this alone, and I'm like, oh my God, I don't do this alone. I have a Rolodex, which many people probably don't know what that is anymore, but we have a shared thread, text thread that's got 12 women on it or something that we can reach out in a second, and I have. I have reached out on that thread and said I am on the struggle bus, and there are other people in this community who have done the same thing when they have encountered unbelievable things in their life that I didn't even know could happen. I didn't even know they were a possibility. But I don't do this alone, and that's the other thing. We are not in control, which means we can't do it alone. We are not our own higher power, nope, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Oh shoot, so you know, pause, drink some water, call a friend.
Speaker 1:Dude, I love these other because, again, you can't, we can't do it alone, it's you can. It would suck big time. Like community is everything. Oh yeah, as Megan takes a sip of coffee, but you can't see it. And I drink my water bottle, but it's okay.
Speaker 2:You know, I've gotten better. I allow myself a French press, yeah, and then that's it, which. I know, that's still a lot of coffee, but you know what? One thing at a time.
Speaker 1:You guys I hope actually I know that there are things that have been said here that will click for you guys Grant yourself grace in all of this and, again, just know that you are not alone in how you feel and what you're growing through in this moment, like there are so many people and Megan is one of them, and it's a beautiful thing to know. You are not alone. Sorry, you're not that special. Nobody is, and that's also a gift.
Speaker 2:Such a gift.
Speaker 1:Megan, you guys, all right, we have Megan's contact from the first time she was with us. I'll make sure to drop it again in the show notes so that if any of you guys have anything you want to reach out to Megan about that resonates or anything, reach out again. I also bring guests on here that when they say reach out, they mean it, it's not just like, hey, drop it in the show notes, it's like no listen, there are people here that are for you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely 100%, and that's a really hard thing to reach out. It's a hard thing to reach out, and when we say reach out to us, we don't mean like a nicety that you just throw out to people on the street. We mean it, and it helps us stay sober too. So yeah, reach out for sure.
Speaker 1:Reach out. Here we go. Another episode of Monday State of Mind in the Books. Megan, thank you, I love you. Oh, I love you too, and so does the world. And all of your coffee. Yes, we do, oh, my goodness. You guys, before we part ways, I want to remind you that help is available. If you or someone you know is in need of assistance, reach out to Harmony Foundation at 970-586-4491. Because remember that together we are building better humans. All right, you guys, we'll see you next week.