Imagine juggling a full-time job, parenthood, a regular cross-state commute, and a burning desire to make a difference in the world. Sounds daunting, right? But for our guest, Nikki Soda, this was just a typical day. Nikki's journey from being a busy mom working in the behavioral health field to becoming a prominent advocate for recovery and public policy is nothing short of inspiring. In this episode, she unveils her story of determination and resilience, and how she managed to pursue a master's degree at Georgetown amidst the whirlwind of her life.
Can you imagine the strength it takes to face your deepest insecurities, stare them down, and charge forth with your dreams? That's exactly what Nikki did. She shares candid insights into how she wrangled with her 'insecurity voice' and emerged victorious, ready to tackle new challenges and even face failure. With the unwavering support of her husband and her refusal to give weight to other people's opinions, Nikki has become a beacon of perseverance and tenacity. As we delve into her journey, it becomes clear that together, we're all playing our part in creating better humans. Tune in to hear Nikki's inspiring story and perhaps ignite that spark to take on your own challenges with renewed vigor.
Want to connect with Nikki?
LinkedIn
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Email: nsoda@naatp.org
Phone: 303-550-9982
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
Imagine juggling a full-time job, parenthood, a regular cross-state commute, and a burning desire to make a difference in the world. Sounds daunting, right? But for our guest, Nikki Soda, this was just a typical day. Nikki's journey from being a busy mom working in the behavioral health field to becoming a prominent advocate for recovery and public policy is nothing short of inspiring. In this episode, she unveils her story of determination and resilience, and how she managed to pursue a master's degree at Georgetown amidst the whirlwind of her life.
Can you imagine the strength it takes to face your deepest insecurities, stare them down, and charge forth with your dreams? That's exactly what Nikki did. She shares candid insights into how she wrangled with her 'insecurity voice' and emerged victorious, ready to tackle new challenges and even face failure. With the unwavering support of her husband and her refusal to give weight to other people's opinions, Nikki has become a beacon of perseverance and tenacity. As we delve into her journey, it becomes clear that together, we're all playing our part in creating better humans. Tune in to hear Nikki's inspiring story and perhaps ignite that spark to take on your own challenges with renewed vigor.
Want to connect with Nikki?
LinkedIn
Instagram
Email: nsoda@naatp.org
Phone: 303-550-9982
For over 50 years, Harmony Foundation has worked as a nonprofit to serve those seeking recovery from substance addictions. Our residential and intensive outpatient programs are in a collaborative and respectful treatment environment with multiple specialty tracks offering additional support. Our main campus is nestled on a 43-acre campus in the Rocky Mountains just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. With one of the most robust alumni programs in the county, clients remain connected and empowered for a lifelong journey of recovery.
For more information about Harmony Foundation, please visit:
www.harmonyfoundationinc.com
Hey, hey, welcome to season two, episode 20 of Monday State of Mind, brought to you by Harmony Foundation. My name is Michael Mausel and I am your host. Good morning everybody, Welcome. Welcome back to Monday State of Mind.
Speaker 1:I kicked off this theme major life transitions. You guys have already heard from me, You've heard from my amazing friend, Elbi, and what a story Elbi had. She made me cry. It's amazing to get guests on here because, while I think that I've gone through some pretty incredible shifts and transitions in my life, the guests that I have on here they like 10x what I've done let's just be real here and the person I have today is nothing short of amazing.
Speaker 1:You guys, when I thought of this person, when I thought of this topic major life transitions besides Elbi, she was another force that I was like I hope because I will first preface it that she's a very, very, very, very busy human, and she's very busy for a myriad of reasons which we'll dive into. But I was like I hope that I can get gifted some time out of her schedule for her to share with all of you how she does what she does, why she does what she does, and it is my hope that through her sharing how she's been able to do what she's done, that you guys find inspiration, and that any of you that have self doubt, that are lacking confidence, that are feeling like I don't know if I can make that jump, I don't know if I can do all these things I hope that your shoulders will drop after you hear from this amazing human. She is a cornerstone in my life, I will even say even a big part of the archway that I walk through every day. She is a mentor to myself and so many other amazing women out in the behavioral health field. I'm already exhausted saying everything she does, but she's just awesome. And so you guys.
Speaker 1:Today I have the distinct pleasure to talk about major life transitions with Nikki Soda. Nikki Soda, what is going?
Speaker 2:on. That was probably the best introduction that I've ever received in my life, so could you maybe come with me everywhere I go to ensure that it is like that. Michael, thank you so much for asking me to be on the podcast today. It is equally as much a joy for me to be able to spend time with you than it is vice versa, so you two are a cornerstone. I like that word in my life and I'm really excited to dive into this kick-ass topic.
Speaker 1:Here we go. Okay, you guys, major life transitions they're scary, they can be uncomfortable. One of my biggest things I am rooted in is that the only constant in life is change. When I think about transitions here we have you guys, we have Nikki Soda. Not only does Nikki have a full-time job in the behavioral health field, nikki is also a mom to an amazing seventh grader at this time. You guys might listen to it in 10 years and she'll be in college.
Speaker 1:And then also, nikki chose, she went back to school and got her master's, and this is something I really want to touch on. So, nikki, I want to take a step back being a mom, full-time job, being a huge advocate in the field that you work in, with recovery and you made the decision. You were like I'm not done yet and I want to go back to school and get my master's. And it's not in the town that you live in. You had to do some commuting between states. What did that look like for you? Being in the spot you're at in your life already with an incredible career? You were like I want to invite this transition into my life, as scary or as exciting as it may be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so there's a lot to that. Right, when I was in Washington DC back in 2019, a fire was really lit in me. That public policy was calling me, and public policy specifically for advocacy for those in recovery. So I want to make note of that, and I also wanna make notes that the things that I do in my life, there is no possible way that they would happen without recovery and without my family, and those two things are essential. And so the public policy fire was lit inside me and I had thought about going back to school.
Speaker 2:So I got my undergrad back in 2002. That's when I graduated with my bachelor's. So it's a while ago. I'm older, I'm 43. I have no qualms about saying my age, and so it had been a while. But there was this fire that I'm like all right, there's something else. There is something else I'm not done, there's more that I need to do. But even more than that, michael, was that I wanted to legitimately have a seat at the table to be able to say I have the education, the experience, the knowledge, the understanding to be able to have these in life experience, to have these conversations where I can make a difference in legislation and public policy. So I was keeping my eyes open for some type of continuing education. I got a certificate in public policy, which was good, but it was an online couple of classes and I still was like there's more.
Speaker 2:And then someone shared with me this new program that was a masters of science in, specifically, addiction policy and practice and it was at Georgetown and I thought, no way, that's out of reach, yeah. But something was like no, it's not. No, it's not. There's inner voices so loud in my head, I have no doubt it's really loud in your head too, that you can do more. You can at least try this.
Speaker 2:And so I looked into it. I talked to my husband, who is my number one supporter, and he's like try it, you know, at least apply. So I applied. I had two really solid mentors who wrote nice recommendation letters for me and I talked a lot to the program director to make sure of something that was doable. So, long story short, I was accepted into Georgetown, into this program with the understanding that I would be a hybrid. So everyone else was there in person and they allowed me to go back and forth, and so I ended up going back and forth for almost two years monthly to Washington DC to be in class, and so I graduated in May and I now have my masters and was one of the oldest ones in the class, but that is okay, even more so I still. I'm continuously learning. All of us are right, but now I feel even more legitimate being a participant and a member of task force for public policy conversations.
Speaker 1:Congrats on your master's. That is amazing, and so I will also say yes, not only was Nikki doing that, traveling back and forth, there was being a mom working a full time job. I forgot to mention she also coaches basketball.
Speaker 2:I do want to say this it's ironic that this is the 20th episode. I'll need to say this Harper is my little girl's name. Her basketball number is 20. So I think that that's very cool. She probably won't say it's cool, but I know she will eventually.
Speaker 1:If you listen to this, harper, you're welcome. I planned this just for you, but so, yeah, nikki's also a basketball coach, and so when you look at all of these facets in your life Nikki, transitioning from one hat mom, basketball coach, student, professional what are your drivers that get you to be able to perform at this level and to also gift yourself grace? When you have days you're like I don't want to do this, I need to have a day. What are those drivers?
Speaker 2:Yeah, excellent, excellent question. And there's a couple of them, and I will be perfectly honest that there was some days where I was like I cannot effin do this, and one of the key things is having supportive people around me who had gone through it and who were my biggest cheerleaders, and so I have some family members that were calm. My sister and my cousin, my husband, my mom, my dad were constantly like you can do this. We're so proud of you, and I'm a big positive affirmation person, as I know you are too, and so my desk is littered with post-its and different signs. I had a picture of a graduation, of a Georgetown graduation, that I pinned up the day that I started. This is my goal. I went to a lot.
Speaker 2:My home group was like if we have to hear about your school one more time, no one ever said that I feel like maybe they that's what they thought, so my home group was a good way to get out some of the stress. One of the things, too, that I did before I got started, michael, is that my husband was like you have to take a step back from some of your board positions that you're on. You cannot do everything, despite what you think, so I took a step back off of three of the boards, three of the four boards that I was on, t-pass being one that I stayed on, but the other ones that I had to take some time off, and that was imperative, and so my drivers, though, were having. I'm an extremely goal oriented person.
Speaker 2:Before we started taping, one of the things we talked about is I was a collegiate athlete and I'm very competitive, but I'm very goal driven. That's what drives me is having these goals, and so I also really wanted to be able to show Harper that doesn't matter how old you are, you can go back to school, so I was coaching her basketball, and in between games, I'm studying. I just have this internal drive that was like I'm going to do this, no matter how hard it is, and recovery teaches us those tools, too, like no matter what, and it has to be broken down sometimes too, like, all right, I just have to get this paper done and then I can breathe, and so you know, taking things and increments like the steps and recovery teaches us. So I think that answers.
Speaker 1:I love that you said the increments a paper at a time, a day at a time. The other thing I love that you hit home on was community, because if there's something that I preach on this podcast and with recovery or anything that we want to excel at in life, we can't do it alone. I mean we can. It's going to be lonely and it's going to be hard, as you know what community and having a support system in anything we do, especially with, like, all these transitions that you were growing through, is pivotal and I would love it if you could speak to you know, what did your community look like? Obviously, you had multiple communities, but, looking back on it, how important was that for you, Nikki? I?
Speaker 2:could not have done it without my community, and so, one of them being Jim, my husband, who was a constant supporter and understood the many a times I had to shut the door to the office to work, to study.
Speaker 2:My mom, who would make me dinner sometimes and bring them in, because when I was not in person in class I had to be live on camera in zoom, and so she would make dinner sometimes and just slide the plate in so that they couldn't see, so that I would have time to eat. And so one of my mentors her name is Sherri Layton. I can't tell you how many times I called her and I would be like Sherri, I don't know if I can do this, and she would walk me through when I felt this way, this is what I did. And then, as I mentioned, my home groups too, I would come in and I would talk about being overwhelmed and get really good feedback from my 12 step community. Peers would share with me their experience, strength and hope, and so it was really all of those things that wouldn't allow me to quit.
Speaker 1:My biggest thing I say on the back as I'm like say it for the people in the back community, community, it's huge.
Speaker 2:Could not do it without community period, no way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is monumental. Something else I wanted to touch on just when you look at transition, nikki, and you look at when you were even starting to think about it, because a lot of times, so many of us have these ideas and you even had it from the very beginning You're like I want to do it, but, man, there's self doubt, like we talked about before we started recording, there's fear, and so so many of us and that I know a lot of you listening are probably feeling this way. You have it in you, like I want to do this, but there's never the push button to do it.
Speaker 1:And Talking about timing, I'm also a big believer there's never going to be the right, perfect, exact time. The time to just jump in and do it is now, and so I would love for you to speak about, especially because it's like here you are, you have these goals and Mom, work, boards, coaching. It's like that's already over 120 hours, 300 hours in a week. What did it look like for you to be able to take a step back and actually, instead of just being again I'll just say analysis by paralysis, or to live in fear? What was that moment where you were like I'm gonna push the go button. It's go time.
Speaker 2:Well, so first I'm gonna say something that I don't know that I've said out loud besides my inner circle. My insecurity voice is so loud in my head so I put on a persona, sometimes of extreme I mean I hope that majority of the time of being very confident and assured, but let me tell you that that voice inside my head does not stop. So that fear is unfortunately a constant that I go to therapy for, to work on. I read all sorts of self-help stuff To try to silence that voice, but it is there. And so one thing that I have done since I've had to make big Transitions, since I had to do a very, very big transition in high school, is that I'm gonna at least try it. I'm going to at least try it, and if it doesn't work then we'll go from there.
Speaker 2:So that has helped me so much in good and bad, because in my drinking and drugging that was not the best philosophy to have. But but as I get older it's like, all right, let's give it a try and at least see what happens. And if I fail, I fail. But if I succeed, here's all the stuff that's gonna happen, and I'll tell you what you learn from your failures too right, I don't like to fail, but it's part of growing and you go through. What you grow through is one of the Positive affirmations that I have, and so that really kept me. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna try it, and if it works, great. And if it doesn't, I at least tried it, and that's what I want to be partly remembered for, too is trying thing. When people think of Nikki Soda, I want them to think like, okay, she did, she went for these things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that you said that. And again, because I look at, failure is not just failure. I love calling it failing forward, because I'm always learning something from it, and I love that you said to any of you guys listening that are battling or struggling with the transition it is just about you never know unless you try. Thank you for talking about insecurities. There is something that I would love for you to also just touch on.
Speaker 1:One last thing, too is there's this perception because you know, I'm also a selfish alcoholic and it's all about Michael, and so some of the things that have kept me from even doing certain things is I'm like well, what are these people going to think about me If I fail? What are these people going to think if I don't make it? And so I will be so quick to go to the negative, to be like what is Nikki soda going to think if I fail? What is this person going to think? So you know what. I'm just going to stay where I'm at. It's comfortable, it's safe, life's good because people like love and respect me. But am I going to lose respect? Am I going to lose people like thinking anything less of me If I fail at something and I would love it If you could speak to when you have those moments of insecurity. Nikki, and I don't know if those thoughts cross your mind they cross my mind on time. Yeah, I wish they didn't.
Speaker 2:I will say this this is a piece of advice that my husband, who is very black and white and he has two masters and he is a very smart therapist when I am having self down and worrying about what people think, he says Nikki, no one cares and I know that that seems silly, but so often no one really cares. Like we think, oh my gosh, what are they going to think? What are they going to think if I don't do this? They don't care. We care the most about ourselves. As simple as that seems, that reminder really helps.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter what Karen Smith thinks. It doesn't matter what he or she thinks. What matters is my goals. What matters is my community, my immediate family and making sure that I'm staying within the integrity and my value system and that the decisions that I make are best for me and my family. It does not matter what anyone else thinks. So, that being said, I still think that, but it just helps me to not stress out so much about what other people are thinking. And to Michael, I think age helps with that. I think that getting older makes me not care as much what people think, and I've lived a lot of caring what people thought in my twenties and that's a big part of why I drank and drug because I could do anything and not care, be carefree. And I feel that age has given me a little bit, a lot of that grace and that ability to not give a shit Amen.
Speaker 1:I love that. You said that. Oh, this is so good, nikki. Okay, obviously, you're married to an incredible human. You had these transitions that were coming up for you. What did it look like? Because a lot of times, I'll also say people that are in a committed relationship, whether you're married or you've been with somebody for a long time and you have family, like you, you have a daughter when you were thinking about this.
Speaker 1:Obviously, when you are in transition, sacrifices must be made, sacrifices happen. What did it look like for you to be able to have the confidence and the decision to be like? I need to talk to my husband about this, because when you're in a marriage, in a relationship, it is a wee thing, and so what did that look like for you and your husband? When it came to those different sacrifices and you having to travel and do all the things? How did that transition? I would love for you to speak about that, because I feel like that's also a really big fear a lot of people have about. Oh well, my husband won't be supported, my wife won't, or they're going to get resentful. They're going to get resentful that I'm doing this. How did you and your husband walk through this Right?
Speaker 2:Really good question and I feel like a lot of people would say our situation is unique. And I'm going to say that our situation is unique where when Jim and I met, he didn't even have his associates degree and so he went from getting his associates, his bachelors, to his first masters to then his second masters, and during that time I was extremely supportive and working full time. And when he got that second masters I was like slow your roll, now Next time is me, and he was in full support of that. So it was my turn. And they say relationships are 50-50, but it's also relationships is all about giving and taking and supporting each other all the time. But also there's different times and steps. So we've moved across the country three times, four different jobs, and we have always been very open, communication and wanting to ensure that it's best for both of us.
Speaker 2:So when it came time for me to go to school, it was my time to be able to do some of these things. But I do want to say, too, that so I had a job opportunity that was offered to me in Washington DC right after I graduated, and so I sat down with my family, but it would have required a relocation. So I sat down with my family and it was not the right time right then and it was really hard to say no. But I had to talk to the two people that would have the biggest impact on and understand that now is not the right time. I'm passing on this opportunity, but I have to believe that another opportunity will come when it's right. But I have to value the people that are most important in my life for a major life transition, and so who's to say what's going to happen at the next one? But I think that open communication is, without a doubt, the key, and having loving, supporting people who want the best for you is also a huge component of that transition.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm telling you guys.
Speaker 2:All you out there, all you couples, start talking and don't pick up a drug or a drink, because if I would have done that, everything that I've worked for would have gone out. The window.
Speaker 1:I love it, nikki, you are such a gift, and so if there was one or two things that you could say to the person listening to this, it's like I want to go for it. I'm scared, I don't know if it's possible. Cool, it was possible for Nikki, but how is it possible for me? What would be a couple drops of gold? You just want to say listen, just fucking do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, absolutely, just fucking do it, try it, try it. You have nothing to lose if you take that leap of faith. I do want to encourage people to do that and to try. I want to say that I feel I have read a number of books on balance and I do not believe that it exists, and so there could be a lot of people who disagree with that statement. At least, if you are a listener and you have found the key to balance, let me know, because there is sacrifices and there are things that you have to give up, and I try very hard to do this work life balance and there's just days where one outweighs the other, and so I think giving up this ideal that you can have a perfect balance for me, that has been very helpful, and so I would like to share that nugget, and I think that determination and setting goals for yourself is so important, and again, this is what works for me, but having something that I'm working for is so much easier than having stuff all over and not being able to really have your eye on the prize, so to speak, of what you want and what fulfills you.
Speaker 2:And then one other thing is that this has taken me a while and this, I think, comes with age two of being able to say no.
Speaker 2:So there was a point where I was told to say yes to everything and I did, and then my plate was so freaking full I'm like I can't do the things that I need to do well, because I keep saying yes.
Speaker 2:And so being able to not say yes to everything that comes my way and to be very, very purposeful about what I say yes to and being respectful when I say no and understanding that it's in the benefit of the person I'm saying no to, as well as my family and me. Recovery is so important, no matter how busy I was, michael, if I had to listen to I'm a big, a 12 step person, and so if I had to listen to a speaker on a plane ride to DC because I hadn't been to an, a meeting in a while, that's what helped keep me grounded. I believe in working out. I do not eat healthy all the time, so I'm not going to throw that into the mix Again. I'm far from perfect, so releasing that meeting to be perfect, but doing a handful of those self care things kept me saying so crushing.
Speaker 1:You guys listen to this on repeat. Like I said, the only limits we put are the limits we put on ourselves. You know, I love that you brought up the age part of it to Nikki. I think that that is so important because, again, there's always time. I think people are like, oh, I'm 40, it's over, I'm 35, I, it's over, can't do it. And there's time. I guess, like we're the ones that put the limits on ourselves.
Speaker 2:We are, we are and there shouldn't be. You can do anything you set your mind to. I had a coach tell me that early on and I wholeheartedly believe that and I instilled that not only in my daughter but in my sponsors. You can do anything you set your mind to.
Speaker 1:Thank you for being here. You are a gift in this world and I'm just so grateful for your time and you're here. I'm the lucky one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know I'm the lucky one to have your light in my life and I say that a lot, but you burn so bright and you help so many people with your messaging and our friendship is a huge gift in my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, here we go, guys. We're just getting warmed up, nikki's just getting warmed up. Just wait till she comes back in a year. Who knows where Nikki Sonowal will be then. Nikki, if anybody wanted to follow you, if anybody wanted to just see what you're about, how can people get ahold of you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. So LinkedIn is a really good way to see my business things. Instagram is mostly my family, so you may not have interest in that, but LinkedIn is, and I am more than happy to if there's notes for the podcast to have my email and my phone number. I'm very accessible.
Speaker 1:Nice. We will put stuff in the show notes for all of you amazing humans. So, ah guys, what an episode. Nikki, thank you so much for being here. This is how we do. Ah, you guys, before we part ways, like I always say, I want to remind all of you that help is available. If you or someone you know is in need of assistance, please reach out to Harmony Foundation at 970-586-4491. Just remember that together, and especially with Nikki Soda today, we're building better humans. Nikki, thank you. Well, thank you.
Speaker 2:Michael, and thank you, Christy, who does so much of the behind the scenes and who is also an extremely bad-ass female who has gone back to school, so I forgot to say you, Christy.
Speaker 1:Here we thank you Christy. All right, you amazing humans. We'll see you next week, thank you.