000 Intro & welcome to the Parenting Balance Podcast!

Here you'll find simple, science-based tools and tricks for parenting kids with ADHD or anxiety. Although we are both family therapists, this podcast is for informational purposes only and should not replace the guidance of a qualified professional. Join us as we debate and discuss our own experiences as parents of kids diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety and breakdown the latest research into easily digestible portions. We created this podcast to educate, inspire hope, explore new ideas, and discover together what we know to be true: you are not alone, and finding a community of support can make all the difference. Please join our Parenting Balance Podcast Community here and sign up here to be the first in line for our new Modern Guide to Understanding Kids With ADHD mini-course.

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Transcript

spk_1:   0:21
Hi, everyone. Welcome to the parenting balance podcast. My name is Kelly Williams. I'm a licensed clinical social worker and an 80 HD parenting expert by experience. I'm here with my partner, high entries of man thought on the licensed mental health counselor and anxiety parenting expert by experience. And for the past 10 years, Kelly and I have had a family practice in Florida. This podcast is for parents who want to really understand what's going on with a D. H D and anxiety so you can ditch the chaos and feel confident and happy again. Our very first podcast is a really exciting be gentle with us, please. Yes, so we are experienced, Ah, family therapists for many years. And in fact, the topic of today's episode is our story about, um, how we came to know each other and how we got here and why it is that we're learning this very new skill called podcasting. And what's so funny is were completely, totally different. But we work together really well and you'll see this as we talk. What are our, um, our talents? Totally compliments? Yes. Say she's liberty when she knows how to do it. I don't know how to feel. Yeah, yes, and I do more of the analyzing. I'm more of the analyzer. Kelly's really good with wording and making things sound, really, And she makes complicated stuff sound simple, and I just babble Well, you are really good at actually helping people to heal from super strong emotions. Yes, and it's really key why this is important in the work that we both do because my specialty in ah, supporting families impacted by 80 HD like my own. Um, the emotional symptoms of a D h. D are in fact, not even in our current diagnostic criteria. Yes, for 80 Itchy. And it's really frustrating to me when I talk to people about 80 HD. They're like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, And I know that they most people have this idea of 80 HD being a person who has a hard time focusing and maybe hyperactive and stuff. But there's so much that people are missing because it's not included in the diagnostic criteria right now. And I that's something that Kelly and I feel is very important for people to understand the whole picture. That's why we're here. All right, so let's start at the beginning by telling this story of how we got together, because I think that will help explain why we're here now, creating this podcast. Yeah. Um, so about I guess it was probably about 10 years ago and you just had Sammy and you weren't working at the university anymore. You were being the mom and doing the mom thing, and my practice was exploding. I was doing really well and I was looking for someone. Teoh, help me with the overflow of people that I was singing. I didn't really have a lot of people to refer to at the time. And I feel really strongly about referring to people that I feel are solid professionals. So I wanted just to bring someone in, and I had tried to reach out to other people, and I was looking for someone who was a good fit with me, with my values, my ethics, and we just kind of we were similar so it would work well. And so I reached out to Kelly and I called her and I said, Hey, you know, I know you're doing the mom thing right now, but would you be interested. It also helped that. I know that Kelly loves being a mom and loves doing that stuff, but she needs to have a different outlet to like, to be able to do stuff with her brain. So I kind of had that advantage of knowing that, you know. I know. Yeah. Yeah. So you called me up and you were like, um hey, it will be very part time. And of course I'm like, Oh, that sounds great. Right? So, uh yeah, so I start taking your overflow. And, of course, Theresa is an anxiety expert, right? And so here I am, working with all these families who are seeking treatment for anxiety. And it was great, and I really liked the work. But then, um, I don't know, like, about 68 months or a year into it. Uh, my son got diagnosed with a D h d. Right. So now, on those hours when I'm not, um, working, I am reading every single thing. I confined about 80 HD, and what happened was I was floored. I was absolutely floored by what I was reading. I couldn't believe at, um how much misinformation there is out there. right. Like I was reading. The most current research straight from the source is, um, Dr Russell Barkley. My favor. You know, he was, I think maybe the first researcher to kind of connect, um, executive functioning and 80 HD over 30 years ago. But what I think is really cool is when you were seeing these people who came to us for anxiety, like you made a discovery. I did. It was helpful for both of us. Wow. Wow. Did I ever? Right? So it seems like I don't know, Could I say half the people? I mean, you know, it's hard to know this was a high percentage. Yeah, it was a long time ago. Um, and it also kind of cool because we had someone helping us with scheduling our appointments for us. And she knew, like, after a little bit, she knew what my strings were and what Kelly's were. So she would kind of divert certain clients to me and certain ones to Kelly and Kelly was getting the high energy whom the high energy ones and argumentative. Right. And I was getting the kids that shut down. Yeah, right. So but I got I can't I? What I remember specifically is I had a couple of kids that I was working with couple flam families but that the kids couldn't go to school, right, And the time period that they couldn't go to school was long, like over a year, you know, and it's like your anxiety symptoms are so severe that you can't go to school. And here's the thing right. These people are doing all the right things. They're taking the medicine, they're seeing the doctor, they're going to therapy. And so my mind says Okay, if all these treatments that we know work aren't working, something's wrong. Yeah, something's wrong, and I don't I don't think it's that you're not working hard enough. I think we need to re evaluate the diagnosis. So I started really refining my questioning because in my research about 80 HD, Um, and I know from all the years that I have been a mental health social worker, which what was it like 15 large before I ever even had kids, right? It's like you were born in the Cave Man days. How it feels like it's been so long. I know. Alright, so oh, the stories. Maybe maybe for a future that we gotta find. It would be fun just for entertainment purposes. It would. It would be, like probably only useful for other clinicians, but anyway, all right, So, um, so I start refining my assessment questions. And what I discover is that Ah, there is a feeling that is very specific to 80 HD that, um that I call. Well, there's two feelings actually there on either end of the same spectrum. Um, and so the the one. The feeling is overwhelmed. Okay. And the opposite of overwhelmed or the the, uh let's see, the external, um, presentation of overwhelmed is the outburst. You know, the tantrum, the meltdown, the, you know, kicking the wall or stopping the feet or throwing plates. I guess that depends on how old you are, right? I have been known to throw plates, I admit, all right, but that's that's the externalized view of overwhelmed. And then the internalized view of overwhelm is total paralysis. That's like the shutdown, the turn off, you know, the done. And so, Theresa, you were taking the low intensity clients and gets what they're guess what their presentation of overwhelming is Yeah, they shut down, they shut down and I was taking the high intensity presentation of clients who are all argumentative and tantrum ing. And, you know, um, I have to say, if I in those kids, I love them and I love their energy, but I couldn't handle them. It was really hard for me, right? The other ones just fit with my personality. Just flowed a lot easier when I was better with the other ones. Right? Well, in, like I'm the one I see. I don't like the why didn't use to I should say right, Um but when I like people who can talk about it, Right. So if you're screaming and yelling and cursing at May, you know, no problem. As long as you're talking to me, I don't care. But if you just be quiet and you and I can't get it out of you and that makes me yeah, and I do not mind that at all I've had lots of silence sessions and that's why so So it all evolved. So what we realized after working together and me doing all this research on a THC is number one. We were not trained in, You know, the current science of what is 80 HD? That is the truth, truth. And when we took the time to figure it out ourselves, albeit for personal reasons, Right. But what you know, there's no better reason than that. Um it was remarkable how effective we could become with our clients. Um And so here we are now, at the end of this journey. Or maybe it's just the beginning. It's the beginning of a new one. Yeah, we're starting this whole new thing, and we're podcasters now, which is pretty cool. Yeah, if you ask me three months ago, I would have laughed in your face. Totally. So we're Yeah, we're in the middle of the cove, it quarantine right now. And, um, you know, our hearts are breaking because there's a lot of people suffering and top of mind was like, We've got this information. We need to get it out there. What can we do on? Parents are overwhelmed, though, right? Like you can't. There's not I don't know. We're like a home schooling. We can't leave the, you know that. Talk about anxiety. Goodness, right. Like it's just so, so high. So um, so we're doing. We're being podcasters. We're bringing you this. We're gonna see how it works in the most efficient way that we could figure out. So hopefully, um, hopefully it works and you love it, and it's great. We want you to join our community. We're creating a Facebook group, and we're actually going to start probably before this episode is aired. But we're going to do some live Q and A's. We're going to start advertising that right now because, you know, we can't wait and, um, I don't know. We don't know what we're doing, really, But we're gonna figure it out. That's what we got on the whole time we figured it out. It's It's true. One foot in front of the other, and then the notes will put a link to join the Facebook. Yeah, cast group, if you'd like podcast community. Absolutely. Um, about two months ago, I, um it was right before the quarantine happened. I I had launched a Facebook boot camp challenge for, um parenting 80 HD. And it was great. It was super very helpful. A lot of good feedback, you know, and I couldn't believe it. Like about 80 people signed up, and this is sort of the magic of social media that were You know, I guess I'm a little late to that game, but I've been busy with my Children. I e much figuring it out. Um, but I promised some parents I had a lot of interest in doing another round of that boot camp. And with the quarantine and the changes in home schooling, I couldn't, um I could not manage that. So the next couple of episodes we're gonna focus a lot on 80 HD Neurology and then at the end of Season one, we're going to get back into anxiety because it's it's important to understand both, because basically what are big discovery Waas is that overwhelm feels like anxiety. And because we don't have good words for 80 HD emotions, they are very often confused with anxiety or depression. And when doctors treat particularly if you take medicine for those conditions and you're not treating the right one, you don't you know it doesn't resolve. You're not going to see the results that are absolutely possible with an accurate diagnosis, and so I cannot wait for you to join us for episode to What is our topic? Theresa? An episode two we are talking about The differences are one of the things that are important that we feel is important for parents to understand the number. One thing that I understand. I am not going to give it away, although that's really hard for me now, all right, but I will cut you off right here. OK, that's it. For our very first episode of the parenting balance podcast. We can't wait to see you next time. And until then, remember, Different isn't wrong. Thank you for listening to the parenting balance podcast to doing our mailing list. Go to parenting balance dot com slash podcast. When you join, you will be notified of upcoming live Q and A's. You can help us plan future episodes. We'd love to hear comments and questions You can reach us by email. Hello at parenting balance dot com, And if you found this information helpful, please share it with anyone else who can benefit and subscribe and give us a rating on your podcast platform. Be sure to listen to the next episode where we're going to solve the motivation mystery of 80 HD, and until then, remember, different isn't wrong.