Trusting the Universe & Sh*t

Dismantling the 10 days to 10k mentality

• Stacey Lee & Ané De Hoop • Season 1 • Episode 15

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The power of positive pressure can be so helpful when we are stretching, growing and building our business muscles. 

It's like going to the gym, we can't get those gains without some discomfort, some grit, some sweat. Theres a reason they call it sweat equity! 

Some overnight successes online, actually take many years to become 'overnight successes'

The doors are currently open for Stacey's new group program, Eyes Above, to teach you how to build a brand that's in alignment with your souls purpose - click here to join! https://barefootbranding.academy/eyesabove/
DOORS CLOSE NOVEMBER 1

You can find Ané and Stacey on Instagram at:

Stacey - @barefootbranding
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🌐 barefootbranding.academy

Ané - @mgmnt__
✦ https://www.instagram.com/mgmnt__/
https://msha.ke/anemgmnt

Visit us here: 🌐 trustingtheuniverseandshit.com
Email us: 📩 hello@trustingtheuniverseandshit.com

Intro music by Tyler Dixon

Stacey:

You're moving the needle. Because you know you're inching forward. You're going towards your lighthouse. You are just moving. And I think sometimes we get a bit caught up in the whole 10 days to 10k mentality

Ane:

I think to put everything in someone else's, basket essentially, and then leaving none for us. Whether that's something deeper because we want to feel worthy knowing that, you also have to take care of yourself and you got to take care of your business

Intro:

Hello. Welcome to episode 15.

Ane:

Hello everyone, so that you guys are back here again.

Stacey:

We were just gushing actually about all the good feedback that we've had and whether or not you should keep sending and please keep sending us your feedback because we're interacting then, it's not just this one way street. We want this to feel like that you can message us and not that we're just completely. of reach and Out of touch. So Yeah,

Ane:

Yeah, we want the ripples be rippling, So

Stacey:

the ripples be rippling. I love when ripples ripple. So good. So today we're going to be talking about sometimes how we over plan and the over planning and the under planning. And finding the balance between the two, because there's that pendulum swing, as Anae was saying, just before we hopped on the call, sometimes we go all the way to one end and then we swing all the way back to the under planning. So we're going to be talking about that. We're also going to be talking a little bit about the pain of learning in business, the pain of. Going through it. Do you remember that song when we were kids? It was like, you can't go under it, you have to go through. Sometimes.

Ane:

I don't know, maybe,

Stacey:

like a, it's like a kid's nursery rhyme. And it's like, we can't go under it. And I, sometimes I hear that playing in my head when I'm going through it. And I'm going through the things that are very difficult and I'm learning. And I'm like, well we can't go around it, we can't go over it, we can't go under it. We have to go. through it. We have to go right through the juice, through the lesson, through the learning, because that we actually don't gain the growth and we don't gain the knowledge that we need to learn through the pain. So those are the some of the things to be talking about today.

Ane:

yeah, yeah, really good way of bringing discussions for this. Yeah, for today, because I've noticed that there's been a lot of, a bit of a collective shift I would say, and, and business owners, that I think as we learn our skillsets and knowledge systems, on softwares, on different platforms, there's an abundant of different things, get really overwhelming trying to figure out which one you. Or have to implement for your specific goals and needs and vision of your business and. Yeah. I know from when I started, would feel the only way for me to feel control of my business was to consistently plan, plan this, plan that plan, every little bit of service, every little bit of way of like showing up. And yes, there was a it was good to have that sort of. Momentum starting, but at the same planning meant under delivering the actions. And I quickly realized that and I quickly noticed, oh shoot, I've been, I've kind of been in this like parallel, what's it, what's it called? Paralysis analysis, I think, yeah, decisions and ideas and all the things. And then it's like, you have a perfect strategy, but then it's. Implementing time and you're like, nope, nope. Because that's where all the fears and the doubts and the things that come up, right? Yeah. How was your, how would you say your sort of start of your business? What like set up was for you? Like, did you be similar or

Stacey:

think I definitely swung between the two, swinging between overplanning and then keep Not taking action on my plan and then pushing out my launch further and further because I had, hadn't actioned all of the things that I planned so definitely over planning or overstuffing my schedule to the point that I couldn't actually action everything because I didn't have time. So when I first started my business. I'm this kind of person that would just throw everything away. Like I quit my job without any plan and really maybe having a month's worth of savings. And so I just went, yeah, I didn't have a plan. That's so me. Just, I don't need a plan. It was fine. And then I find my feet as I go. And that worked then. But when you're doing really complicated launches, and you're getting to the point where you've got a lot going on, you're spinning all of these plates. So I'm doing a launch webinar, and I'm doing the emails, and I'm making videos, and all these things. Once you start getting to that complicated stage, you really can't over plan, because things are not going to always go the way that you thought they will, and you really have to be adaptable and agile on your feet. So you really can't over plan too much. There is this sweet spot in between where you don't want to over plan, but you don't want to under plan. So you can't just go, okay, yep, I'm going to launch in a month without having any steps in place. Because by the time that month is up, you're not going to know if you hit sort of the major things you needed to complete. Or not, and you're not going to know where you are. You're going to be looking around saying, which direction am I going in? to being done? And you're just not going to know. So,

Ane:

Yeah, I think at the start it's you don't really review back yet of your email list or visibility you don't really know at the start it's just you and your mind and your creation and your your your way of your vision but then when you start collaborating or having conversations or it doesn't even have to be like obviously at the start you're just like putting in the structure and, the planning, like I said, with the softwares and the emails and all the things. really can't then start planning, okay, this is exactly how this launch is going to go because are going to, yeah, review back to like, oh no, that's not going to work at that time or whatever, right? It's just like, there's going to be all of this, like, conversations are going to happen. And so, think it's really, really normal for the swing from one end to the other. Like I think. For me, because I was such an over planner, yes I felt in control, but at the same time I also felt very very stuck and sort of, of, yeah, like this real stuck, frozen because I just wasn't sure what I was actually

Stacey:

you desire that thing. the desire in order to receive it. So, yeah, that's the way that I think about releasing from that grip.

Ane:

I'm just gonna not say who specifically, but let's say a family mine have been telling me they cannot wait to retire. They cannot wait to retire. They're only have X amount of pay slips left, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And constantly been saying this to everyone in the, in the family, right? And a couple months ago, this person got redundant. lost their job and it's not a big deal, like they're all fine, but be careful what you wish for. You have been saying for years on end how you cannot wait for your X amount of payslips so that you can retire. universe showed up got it. And it's kind of like, be careful what you wish for because it may not show up exactly how you thought it was going to show up, but it did. And your wish came true. So I think there's also like a bit of a a bit of a for me, actually, I was like, Oh shit, really be careful what you wish for because even if you desire a specific thing, why people are like, how do you want to feel when that is there? How do you like really tap into that sort of embodiment work as well? Because that person who got that thing didn't really feel very good. And I thought they were right. They thought when they wish comes true, they're going to feel know, free, I guess, but that wasn't actually the case. So I think. Tying in with your desires and what you wanted detaching it is, yeah. Working through, okay, how can I embody and, and feel into that person that wants that desire or have that desire already. So I just wanted to put that little side note story in, because I think it's very fitting.

Stacey:

I have a story actually of when I had this desire. So my desire was I wanted to live by myself had this idea when I was a kid that, at some point in your life, you should live by yourself. So this was just something that, that I was drawn to. And I thought, yes, I really wanted that. And then when it finally happened. I was like, Oh, shit. And I had to pay my rent by myself. I had all these bills by myself. I had to navigate living by myself in a different way. And I had to keep telling myself, You asked for this, okay? And it was, even though I really wanted it, it was very difficult for a time. I leaned into it until I found my way through and then I loved it. But initially I had so much resistance to that thing that I had desired for such a long time. So sometimes we even have the desire, we get what we want and then it's different to how we thought it was going to be. We think, okay, well I got what I want, but I don't feel the way that I wanted to feel. So maybe sometimes it's just saying, How do I want to feel? Not having these physical desires as much. The desire maybe shifting into how do I want to feel on a daily basis. Do I want to feel calm, relaxed, clear, have clarity? How do you want to feel every day? that's the desire as opposed to the physical manifestation. Having the specific with the specific fence And the pool And the dog or whatever it is. Maybe that's... Something that, that we could work on.

Ane:

Yeah, I agree. And we've, we've spoken about in a previous episode, I'm not really sure which one where we. And we, quite openly said we used to have this vision of how being a business owner was going to be, or how want that specific thing. And like, we were more into the, to look rather than how it's going to feel. And I think that's the key let's tap more into how you're going to feel because, this is really valuable, especially for business owners, right? Like we look at the, waking up whenever you want and having all these like lots things and, you offer wins, all of these really, yeah, manifestation, at the same time, it's like, well, are you glued to your desk like 12 hours a day? Are you drained? Are you, Not, all the, all the feelings that are actually, you haven't, we haven't really like discovered what that is yet. And so yeah, it's a, it's I don't know how to explain it, but yeah, I think it's just a, it's an important key ponent co component to look into how you rather

Stacey:

It reminds me of that quote, it's something like we give up the, 38 hour working week to work 90 hours as an entrepreneur when we work for ourselves.

Ane:

oh my God. The pain

Stacey:

Yeah, so it's, yeah, it is more work, but it's more fulfilling for me, it is anyway, but it's, do you want more structure or less? Because often we say to ourselves, I want more freedom, I want more freedom and people get into their own businesses and they have too much freedom because they haven't realized that you have to create everything again from scratch. You need to do all your own bookkeeping, you need to set your own hours and all of those things take a mental bandwidth to put in place and it's going to take some time, it's not going to be It's going to be a little while before you find that structure and you find, okay, Monday's I'm going to do this and I'm going to work from this time. And having the freedom to fully take time off is actually a lot harder than it seems because you keep saying to yourself things like, no, I have to keep working because I have to do this X, X, Y, X, X. And to take a day off in the middle of the week, even though you can, I don't really do it very often because I'm like, well, I probably shouldn't. It's just that little voice in your head of, I need to keep momentum. I need to keep working on things. So it is a real practice to get to that point where you're, when you're working for yourself, to, to, set your own schedule And then be okay. to give yourself permission, because we often, we don't give ourselves permission, okay. I'm going to take the day off today. And you you go, Hmm, okay, I feel a little bit weird.

Ane:

Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, no, that's, that's a really good point. It's like, we say that. we want freedom And then but energetically in puts in a lot of Yeah. like tension in your body. You're like, no, I can't do that. And so It's like we've got to make

Stacey:

the, yeah, Hmm, it's like the infinite possibilities. It's too much.

Ane:

Yeah.

Stacey:

Yeah. Yeah. It's scary. It's like going to, I remember when I first moved out of home when I was like 16 and I moved to the Sunshine Coast and I was living in like a university accommodation and they put me in a room with these two older American guys. And it was so strange for me, but these two guys, they were like, one of them had two earrings and they used to stand up and they used to put their hand on their heart and sing the American anthem. And I totally forgot where I was going with this story, but when, when I was, when I was that young, I just, I really thought I had this vision of. What my life was going to be like and the way that life delivers for you is just always such a surprise. And we think, well, this isn't what I wanted. This isn't how I wanted it to show up. This kind of freedom that I have now is not really what I thought it was going to look like.

Ane:

Mhm.

Stacey:

I think as you said too, like really shop in the way that we want it to. So we sort of can start to reject what we, thought we wanted.

Ane:

Yeah. yeah, for sure, I think, yeah, we, I think that's just coming back to being brutally honest with ourselves, and then looking into what's the fear or the resistance that we have for it. even if. And also like having a bit of like a what they call it it's like a self in self inventory moment of like, that exact way of working or why like asking yourself really being clear on What it is that you want, because it not showing up exactly or it, may actually show up exactly that way, but then it, it doesn't feel the way that you thought it was going to feel. So like vice versa, it's like evaluate like what is. And how we can make sure that we're in that, in that I also think that there's like a lot of talk on, taking messy action in business. As much as I agree to out of that sort of over planning stage and, over, in that parallel, I keep messing that word up, paralysis analysis stage. It's really good to take, yeah, action, but it can also come as a cost like Stace was mentioning before we got into this call. because if you're not really sure exactly the goals and, and where you want to go in your business and you just kind of just action and, trying to just throw spaghetti on a wall and hope that it sticks, then it's going to come with a cost of your time, energy, and also money. Like, it's not always cheap to. invest in all of these resources and platforms. And so, with all that you actually have a really good plan, and you just have to kind of redefine it or like structure, or like simplify it and then take the action, rather than just being like, let me just take all the action. and hope for the best,

Stacey:

yeah, yeah, Sometimes take, We can take too much action. We can be working on too many projects. We can be doing too much and also diving in head first. In a way that we really have no plan. And that is exactly how I was when I first started my business. For example, I signed up to a software piece of software that was very expensive and their sales team was very good and they signed me up to this piece of software and I kind of got stuck with the software because I was used to it. But at that time I really didn't need it at that time, but I would just say yes to anything. Like a coach would come up to me and be like, okay, you know, would you like to work with me? I would just say yes to everything. And I put myself in a position where I really could not afford even to buy milk at one point. Because I just, I was just like, I was like Jim Carrey in that movie, Yes Man. I was just like, yes to everything, but we really shouldn't be saying yes to everything. And I think when we hear messy action, we think, okay, let's just, like you said, throw spaghetti at the wall. But we don't want to be just saying yes to absolutely everything.

Ane:

Uhhh.

Stacey:

if you see the movie, it's... It does work out for him, but I think in real life, everything, we're going to get burnt out. Like you said, we're going to be using too much, too much of our resources financially, our emotional bandwidth. And yeah, we're going to get very, very, burnt out.

Ane:

Yeah, yeah, when you were speaking, all I heard was like, discernment, be discernment in, in the choices you make with it, when people are telling you to get this software or do this or that, like, meditate on it, sit with it for a bit, because I too was the same, I was like, yes, like, this and that and this and time, I, really, really didn't stuff either, like, I, like, let's just try and get, More visibility in clients, first and foremost, trying to do this huge, like, back end, like, business model, like, and so yeah, just be discerned with your choices and it comes. It's, it's just like trusting yourself more and it comes with, saying yes and saying no to things like and it gets easier, I think well, like, everyone else, you're essentially saying no to yourself, like all and all levels, physically, spiritually, mentally, financially, all of the things, and you are your greatest asset at the end of the day, like you, you are your business, So. Yeah, yeah, so messy action, of course, take action, but be discerned with how messy you want to make it.

Stacey:

I love that. Oh, as he was talking, I just full body chills. When you say yes to somebody else, you're essentially saying no to something for yourself. And that's so true because every time we say yes, there's a little allotment apportionment of our day and our mental bandwidth that goes somewhere else. And if we're constantly working on other people's projects rather than our own, we're building someone else's business. Because if you have clients, you're working for yourself, but you have clients and you're constantly only working on all of theirs because like me, you want to help people in your kind. But what happens is your business doesn't move forward and you get to this really resentful place because you're there going, well, I've done all of this work and I have really not much to show for it because it was all for somebody else. And then haven't built your own Nest egg to rely on to go back to that that's building an audience you can send emails to and your own and need to have a sustainable business

Ane:

Yeah, that's actually, that's such a good point as well. I think to just put everything in everyone and someone else's, basket essentially, and then leaving none for us. And whether that's something deeper because we want to feel worthy or we want to stay secured or whatever the thing is, it's just coming back to. Knowing that, yeah, at day, you also have to take care of yourself and you got to take care of your business and Maybe it's actually a shift to of not being like, well, got to get those testimonials and got to prove all these things. Maybe it's just like, what, no, my business right now needs a bit of nurturing for hour or, just like having those. And this is now coming, like thinking about is like, yeah, maybe it's just like shifting the way that you see and do business in a way that's like, how can I. Actually put in more to the, in my business, because she does a lot for me. she brings a lot of people and all the things. So Yeah. I, I totally agree and I couldn't agree more

Stacey:

I love that thinking about it as a person like she does a lot for me and In that way, if we think about it like that, what is the relationship we have to our business? Are we neglecting her? Are we treating her well? Are we nourishing her? Are we giving her what thrive? Is this person Is this person a, bringing light to our lives? Are they nourishing us back? love how you put that, so good food for thought there. Yeah.

Ane:

Yeah.

Stacey:

The other thing that I wanted to talk about was when we're balancing between our client work and our own businesses. So the balance between the two was something that took me a very, very long time to figure out. And I work with coaches and they're like, could you do half a day on this day and set it in your schedule? But for me, I just, it never worked. And the only thing that ever worked for me was the shift in my mindset of my business. Needs to come first and it's really just that, that energetically, it needs to be the focus that needs to be the focus and that is how I'm going to have the impact and the legacy that I want if I'm constantly building other people's businesses, I'm never going to get to where I want to get. how do you find now and working on your own business? What is it that you do that you find that works to get that balance?

Ane:

to be completely honest, I'm still trying to find that balance. Truly, I yeah, I I actually don't have a answer, but something that we were speaking about before getting on this call was the same actions and processes that I do as a business manager to my own business. But so that's something that I am just. just being more mindful of, and simplifying as I do it because end to the other, the whole time, it was like, as I'm growing and evolving, it's okay, well, how can I simplify this sort of process of onboarding or offboarding or nurturing my own, back automations without needing me to check in on, and it's just like, I'm still trying to, Figure out. But I think I do try in the in the mornings to spend my own stuff into. And even at nighttime, like, before I go to sleep or something, it's kind of just like a check in, like checking in with her, like, are we, are we good? What's up? What's feeling sticky? yeah, but I don't, full transparency, I don't do it all the time, like, sometimes I forget, sometimes I wake up and I'm like, there's all these and I'm like, I go into my old patterns. So it's definitely something I'm still learning. But Yeah. Yeah. That's one thing I'm trying to implement more of. Just like having those Yeah. Mornings and nights before I switch off for the day. What about you? How would you say you have a better balance On it?

Stacey:

I, I feel like I found some pretty good balance finally after a very long time. But I just wanted to pick something out of what you said that I feel like is very pertinent. So you said that, that you didn't have the answer. And I think in your mindset there is exactly what you want is to sometimes we need to acknowledge that we don't always have the answers.

Ane:

And

Stacey:

And that I think keeps your mind open to possibility, to open to potentially shifting the way that you do things. And every day is different. So for me, my days are always different, but I like to have sort of a theme. So Monday I'll do Instagram, Tuesday I'll do my email newsletter. So every day has a sort of a theme, and as long as I'm creating something in the theme for that day, then I'm happy and the days do shift around. And the other little tip that I have is to only set yourself like three tasks per day. Don't do any more than that. And always at the end of the day, just write down what it is that you need to do to set you up for the next day. That one thing changed a lot I feel like I don't need to do it as much now because I got into the habit of just knowing what I need to get done. But initially it was at the end of the day, okay, let's assess what do I need to do tomorrow? And then shifting around things. if wrong with a tech, tech piece of software or something, I'll just shift things around and move them. And there's a lot of movement going on and then being okay with that. And then not overloading yourself too much with too much stuff.

Ane:

yeah, I love that. Yeah, no, I love that you brought up the don't put too much on your plate because I think that's when we can go into old avoidance or of resistance of or whatever. And I think That's a really, those are really, really good tips actually, as you were explaining it, like, my nervous system was super calm, I was super grounded, it was regulated, it wasn't at all like, like, I was like, oh, that's, and it's like a feeling of like openness, like, oh, this feels expansive, and yet at the same time very grounding, it wasn't like ever like, and I think because you've been having this motto of work, Not meaning that you need, you do things slow, but you've been more in that energy of taking your time with between combining your personal and business, like, doing both. And it's like giving you slower ways of working. That to me is that sustainable piece. And I feel like that's also why that beautiful momentum is happening. and now you have nice habit of like having your themes now. And like, it's just. That's just, yeah, it's much more of a sustainable way of doing business. And it's a really, really good people do end up, trying to implement some of your tips in it Because yeah, even if you think that not making huge leaps, it is. Like you are still moving the needle regardless,

Stacey:

You know you're inching forward. You're going towards your lighthouse. You are just moving. And I think sometimes we get a bit caught up in the whole 10 days to 10k mentality and we think that everything's going to be really fast. But in reality, it doesn't really happen like that. Overnight success. looks like overnight success but I promise you that the people that get the overnight success have been working on their craft and their mastery for many years and that's all the stuff that we don't see but it just seems like overnight success. So if anyone promises you something like that It's just flashy clickbait. It's not really going to get you there. And it makes us feel bad because we think, Well, I didn't get my, 10K in 10 days. What am I doing wrong?

Ane:

No.

Stacey:

And so as long as your goal is to move that needle, like you said, then you are to get there eventually.

Ane:

Yeah,

Stacey:

And you've got to let it unfold

Ane:

Yeah, no, such a good way of of explaining that sort of mentality success because actually it's been years of, yeah, implementation and momentum and moving the needle forward when you didn't want to and all of those things. So I hope that people do. And to me, it's a little bit of a red flag. Like when I see those sort of, topics or urgent sort of urgency culture sales because you're triggering a bit of my nervous system or or doesn't feel good enough sort of energy already and so of course then when I Do end up getting into that energy I will sabotage and I will end up burning out or there will be an other area Whereas with The that we're talking about it's like slow and it's steady and it's grounding and it's ever evolving and ever moving and I think Like we mentioned about the growth. It's not always gonna be linear. You're moments. It's like It's the integration of then making sure we are still alignment with where we're going and not these huge leaps and then huge crash downs like people are talking in the in the business world. So

Stacey:

and your business is going to crash and burn Because you're going to be what it reminded me of, you know Those restaurants on the street that they try and get tourists in like they're, on Ligon street here there is that there is that of Italian restaurants and they're all relying on trying to get you in and they give you a bottle of wine and some free bread The food is pretty bad, they rely on

Ane:

Not even average, just bad.

Stacey:

It's pretty bad. Maybe it's okay for meat eaters, but as a vegan, probably not, not so good. So they rely on a one time customer. So this one time customer comes in, a tourist, and then they, that's it. Then they leave. And I feel like those types of businesses where they're trying to just crash and burn their customers, 10 days to 10k, I feel like that is the same mentality. And most businesses who do really well, their revenue comes from recurring customers. So, if you can... Get recurring revenue from people who, who have fallen in love with your brand. That's where you really make your bottom line. That's Not this flash in the pan, one time thing. get. It costs like six to seven get a new customer as it does to retain an existing one.

Ane:

yeah, yeah. Well there you there's the maths. There's the data for you guys.

Stacey:

it's the data, you know?

Ane:

No, I agree though. It's yeah. Discernment again. Honestly, just be discerned with the choices And the people that you work with. Because, that's the thing that's gonna help you navigate what is in alignment with you and what isn't. When it comes to working with people or investing in people. resources or softwares or anything, anything really to do with business stuff. So

Stacey:

Yeah, and if it makes you feel ick, then it's probably going to transfer on to your customers too. If you feel like, ugh, this feels wrong, to them and then It's not going to feel good for you. You're not going to feel good about telling anyone about it, so you're going to hide. It's not going to feel like honest and, yeah. So,

Ane:

I agree. agree. Perfectly said. I feel like we've covered heaps today, which is amazing As, per usual.

Stacey:

As, yes, as per you. I loved, yeah, I loved that episode. So we love hearing from you guys. If you want to leave us a review, we would absolutely love that. If you want to send us a message, please do. We love hearing from you. And yeah, if you have any questions, please send them to us. I'm Barefoot on Instagram anae. management. And the links for our profiles are in the show notes. So jump on there and send us a message and any, anything else to add?

Ane:

I think we've we've heaps and yeah, I, if there's, yeah, if there's anything that landed for you guys or you're also in a process of cleaning up or anything in business, then let us know. We'd love to are at in your journey because yeah, it's all, it's all learning curves and it's all but we, you don't have to do it alone. I think that's the biggest thing this episode is it can feel really lonely, but this is the whole point of, having community and having people in our, in our worlds to support us. So we would love to support you guys. I've got some few spots available, so send me a DM and we can sort something out. But yeah. Thank you so much. Thanks for listening guys. Bye.