Grounding and harmonising around the holiday frazzle

As the silly season approaches we become extra mindful of our triggers especially if we are going to be travelling to see family members. 

Just a reminder that those people who frustrate us are also here to teach us patience, and we discuss a few practical techniques and mantras for navigating the holiday season with grace. 

As always, send us a DM if  you have any questions!

You can find Ané and Stacey on Instagram at:
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Stacey - @barefootbranding
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🌐 barefootbranding.academy
https://barefootbranding.academy/eyes-above-waitlist/

Visit us here: 🌐 trustingtheuniverseandshit.com
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Intro music by Tyler Dixon from @tones.on.toast - tonesontoast.com

Transcript

Stacey: 0:00

every time we have these tests, we're able to get stronger. So look at it in that way too, because anybody who makes us frustrated, it's teaching us patience. Anyone who we're angry at is teaching us love.

Ane: 0:13

Really, visualizing roots growing and, Mama Gaia holding you and I've noticed that when you're grounded, the people around you can also, it's a permission slip to feel grounded too.

Stacey: 0:47

Hello, and welcome back. We're on episode 19, and today we're going to be talking about staying grounded, especially around the holidays when we can get our anxieties, get the best of us, or maybe we're spending a lot of time around family, which we don't see during the year, and that can be very triggering, can bring up a lot for us to process. That's what we're going to be talking about today.

Ane: 1:13

Hello. Welcome everyone. As I am burning some sage. So if you have say, if you have palo Santo, anything like that, just to clear the energy or cleanse, it's always really good to, just before you do any sort of groundedness to cleanse the energy, just so that yeah, you don't ground anything that is still stuck in that atmosphere. So but yeah, I'm really excited to talk about this. Yes. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. So I think, as we are approaching the holidays, Stacy mentioned, but I, we also want to talk about how to ground in business because, there's a lot of sales. There's a lot of heightened energy during this time with business too. You could maybe feel really like you haven't. Reached some of your goals, or you could just have a lot of overdrive in the mind. And the best way to not have that overdrive happen and, sabotage or be really hard on yourself is to ground, is to be in nature, is to remind yourself that at the end of the day, we are nature and we are as one. And it really does help just taking that, that pressure off.

Stacey: 2:22

And as this episode comes out, Black Friday is probably going to be in a couple of days. So there's going to be this sort of frantic energy that happens. And I always find that it ramps up at the end of the year, especially with work. I was talking to my auntie the other day and they have a graphic design studio and she's saying everybody just sort of ramps up get in coming to December and then January, it's just quiet month. So there is this collective energy of. Of ramping up, of panicking, of trying to see everyone and do everything and jam everything in, which I kind of like in a lot of ways, because it, it, it gives me energy, but then there's also the shadow part of it, which is, it can create a lot of anxiety, it can create a lot of, there can be a lot of triggers around that, especially if you don't have family to spend it with, or you have family to spend it with, so either or, there's There's often triggers and I know a lot of people that don't spend time with their family much during the year and then they see them at the end of the year. Can be a lot of arguments, a lot of blow ups, especially if you travel and you're staying with them and they live a very different way to you the way that you normally do. So yeah, we want to talk about some of the ways that you can navigate that and some of the ways that you can stay grounded within yourself.

Ane: 3:42

And just on that note with the, the heightened energy and, that anxiousness that we can get, there is a purpose for that. you said, it is good to have that because if we didn't, we would literally not. Do anything in life, it's any emotion is actually a purpose for that. And, having the, your cortisol, high and stuff, there's, there's a reason we have that. So we can get up in the mornings, right. And do things. However, yeah, if we're too much lenient to that, then it can cause, like you said, anxiety and all the things. So to navigate and,, this is just what I do and I would love to hear yours too, Stace. But I. Nature comes. This is the best time for nature, especially here in the Southern Hemisphere. It's warmer. So you kind of want to be in the beach. You kind of want to be in nature. You want to go hiking. it's not like winter where you kind of rocked up in the house. So Yeah, literally taking your shoes off and visual, visualization is just such a cool thing to do as well when you're grounding because you literally can just cleanse your energy and then ground at the same time. Really, visualizing roots growing and, Mama Gaia holding you that is just such a, you think. Oh, that's not going to do much, but it truly makes such a world of difference. And I've noticed that when, when you're grounded, the people around you can also, it's a permission slip to feel grounded too. And so yeah, nature, walking, swimming I've got a sound bowl. So even that, and I actually have. The root one. So that is literally the last, chakra. So that is connected for the ground. So yeah, those are some of my little key aspects and elements that I try to do daily, if not at least, every couple of days.

Stacey: 5:32

I love how you said Mama Gaia. I feel like we need to put that on our merch. Need that daily reminder that Mama Gaia is holding us. And again, having the trust, having the trust in that everything is working out for our highest good and really, for me, when I'm really needing to ground, it's very simple things, I think very, very simple things going for a walk without my shoes on looking one thing that I do consistently is to go outside in the morning and I have my eyes shut. So I let the sun hit the back of my eyelids. And that's one thing that helps to create melatonin production. So I do it for sleep, but I think it's a really grounding thing for me to do every day. And I'm still awaiting for this warm weather to hit us, so I'm still sort of waiting for it to be really warm. But yeah, getting, getting some sun. Because I saw this thing the other day that said we spend 90 percent of our lives indoors and I just, oh, I just felt like, no, we can't spend 90 percent of our lives indoors. So just that little step outside in the morning. If I get really, if I get really anxious, I'll have to do some breath work. So I'll have to sit there and do my breath work if I, if I'm feeling very, very, very anxious. And one of the other things I like to do is, We have this monk that I have mentioned on the podcast before, his name's Doi Nying, but he was talking about having this, this still bowl of water inside your, I'd say your belly. And if you have that still bowl of water, you focus on not letting it be tipped or spilled by external forces or people outside of you so that you can have that stillness. Little steel bowl of water. So this is something you can visualize, this bowl of water inside of you, so that you've got it in there and as different circumstances outside of you rock you, you can focus on this. And he also has this other mantra that I love, which I will read out to you. And the mantra is... I welcome wholeheartedly whatever arises having given up the idea that things should be other than what they are

Ane: 7:47

I love like different kind of activities depending on how heightened the emotion is. when you said about, if your anxiety is really intense or you feel really anxious, like you do breath work or, When you have, the, the bowl of water, all of this, I think that's actually a really good little spectrum to have to be like, okay, how bad am I really feeling in this heightened state of emotion? And, sometimes going for walks isn't going to feel safe at least. So it's okay, maybe it's breath or maybe it's shaking your body, just. Moving the energy in your home where you can feel safe, I think is a really cool way of noticing, yeah, where you feel and then doing the, the right sort of activity to, to get out of that, that emotional and not get out of it, but at least just change the energy and the state that you're in.

Stacey: 8:40

Yeah, I think state change is essential and learning how to change your state. is very, very useful for changing where you are. So sometimes we can use these external things, but sometimes we can just learn to do it in the moment without any external anything. Because once you've tapped into how to do it once, you have that available to you to tap into it the next time. So say, for example, you're feeling really upset, and your partner says something funny to you and you laugh. That's a state change. So if you're in a relationship and your partner does this for you, that's a very, very good because that is going to help you from changing out of that state that you're in. If you're able to allow yourself to change, change out of that state of the, the I'm upset, I'm upset, I'm upset. And then they can just boom, change your state, make you laugh. Then that that's you having done a state change. Yeah, beautifully said.

Ane: 9:41

That's actually a really good point. And I, I totally agree. I think sometimes. Are so activated in the mind. It can just be, we can get so consumed by the stories and the, and the, just even the emotions too that's connected to those stories that, yeah, to just come back to, okay, how can I shift this? This state is, is such a little powerful grounding move to be in. And I'm also, I've noticed there's been times where I'll be with family members and I feel very heightened and I feel very on edge and I'll just have to, set a boundary. Hey guys, give me five or 10 minutes. I'll be back. And I would go and just shake for a couple of minutes in my, in my room or yeah, do some breathing exercises and, and with friends and family, they really. If they're not honoring that, just know that that's on, on them and they, they, that's just because they don't know how to maybe self regulate themselves, but it's okay to, in those moments, I think if they feel disappointed or if they feel a type of way, because at the end of the day, we're going to be, we're all adults here, Yeah, and making those little power this little powerful activities or state changes does truly change the energy of the house. Because when I come back and I'm feeling grounded and I feel really good, It's a moment for them to then also take a breather or for them to, go for a swim or, ground themselves without even noticing it. It's this unconscious sort of permission slip for them to go, ground and not stay in this state or this energy. So yeah, I'm so glad you, you brought up that state of the energy state to change. Yeah. And

Stacey: 11:20

I think another part of this is having boundaries with yourself when it comes to your relationships. So as we start to spend some time around family around Christmas, the boundaries that we've built for ourselves, we need to, we're, we're being sort of tested in using them. So we sort of know, okay, yes, this is what's okay for me and this is what's not. But when we're around family, we get. Little tests and the tests are there for us to say, okay, have you learned your lesson here? Here's a test and then we get tested and then we say, okay, well, where am I really because maybe in our heads we think yeah Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine And then you get there and it's, no, I'm not fine. So in the moment, it's like training. I feel it's when, it's when we're at the gym and we're training our muscles, they get stronger. So every time we have these tests, we get, we're able to get stronger. So look at it in that way too, because anybody who makes us frustrated is teaching us patience. Anyone who we're angry at is teaching us love. Anyone who we, remember how we were talking in the podcast about how, when people walk slowly in front of you? Yeah. And we were talking about that story. So this is that, this is that, okay, well, that's teaching us to be patient and these are our teachers. So we can look at people, especially people that don't share the ways that we live in the world. They are just examples for us of, Oh, that's what I don't want to be like. A hundred

Ane: 12:55

percent. Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. And actually, I can actually give another little example of last. Was it last Christmas? I think so. I can't remember these times and illusion, but, but anyways, I, cause I'm the youngest of five, essentially, I would say. I've always been very easygoing, so I'll always be the one who ends up, getting the one that needs to go sleep on the couch or, the one that just had the last sort of say of what I can and cannot have. And, it's fine and have it's just, I was a kid. I actually didn't mind either. when you're a kid, you can sleep wherever, but being an adult now, I actually was tested slightly from, universal within family. Either consciously or unconsciously about living sleeping arrangements. And I just wasn't comfortable of where I wanted to sleep. I think it was the night of Christmas or before Christmas or whatever. And I had to put a boundary up. I am not comfortable at sleeping in the living room or wherever it was. And therefore, I would really to get a room and if that's not applicable then I'm happy to get myself an, an Airbnb or something, And it was really a tough moment for me because I was always the easy child, always the one that's yeah, no worries, I'll do it, And I had to set this boundary up and it, it was really tough. Really uneasy with was a little bit, but no, not in a bad way, just Oh, she's, she's a full grown, woman now, and but it ended up showing me how self reliant I can be with myself and how self assured I am that, I get to. tell my needs and my boundaries and however that gets received. That's not on me at the end of the day. I can, I can be the one that responds well, of course, but, and so, yeah, this is just like a, an example of how, when the, when, yeah, we were around family and friends, we can have these little tests and if you do the deep work and you do, you do know your boundaries and you do know what feels good in your nervous system or what doesn't, then it does get easier to communicate them over time. I, I think.

Stacey: 15:02

Yeah. And as you were talking, I was thinking about how sometimes this is about letting go of that identity of. I'm the easygoing one, I'm the person who everybody just loves to be around and there's pieces of people pleasing in there that I recognize that I've done over time and this can be with, this happens across your clients and across your family but what it really is doing is it's going to squash your identity because you're grasping onto this idea that I just want to make sure everybody's happy and what it is doing is it's going to make sure that you're not going to be the one that's happy, but everyone else will be, but you've made yourself smaller and you've made yourself the more and more you do it, the smaller and smaller you'll become and you'll lose yourself because you've only just done what I, whatever it L, whatever else it is that other people have been asking of you. And you're just trying to make sure that there's no conflict. So it's aversion from conflict, maybe. And it's also this, yeah, this piece about, I don't want to cause a rupture or a ripple. But you're denying yourself in that sense. When you do that.

Ane: 16:23

Actually, it's funny how you mentioned this because I was envisioning, as you were saying about you're making yourself smaller and smaller, literally like atoms in the air, like little, you're making yourself so small that of course you've got to be so much easily, easily influenced by the energy around you. But when you start to practice grounding yourself and envisioning these deep layered Roots in the ground that's making yourself big and a, a beautiful mountain, yeah. And it's not a big from look at me. I'm, narcissistic way. It's a, I'm very short of myself and no, I'm sticking with this. And I think the more that we do practice the groundedness in these heightened. times, the more people actually gonna, I, I believe it's that ripple, people will respond well because it's Oh no, she's her intention as well. It's not from a place of bad intention, And so I, yeah, I could just imagine yeah, it's good to be. in the air sometimes and have those atoms and, be this energy, but it's also really as important to have roots and ground constantly when, when you're doing both work.

Stacey: 17:34

And maybe imagine you're a tree. Imagine you're a tree and you have the roots growing down into the earth. And when you do this, you're stationary as a tree. Trees don't walk around. So your stationariness, as people come at you, you don't just immediately move out of the way. Right. are you that person when you're walking down the street just to immediately move out of the way of everybody else? Have you ever noticed how guys do that? They just completely take up the middle of the pathway, and they're just happily taking up space. But I feel especially women, we often will try and make ourselves smaller, and we'll try and move out of the way. And part of that is the feminine flow of being in flow, but sometimes it's just making ourselves smaller and smaller, and what happens when we get smaller and smaller and smaller, we eventually become invisible. And yeah, maybe it's less scary to be invisible. But we're really not sort of taking up our own space. We need to not be afraid to take up space, even, you know, how men sit, their legs are really wide and they're open and they're just boom, taking up all this space, whereas we're no, no, no, I'm gonna, like, cross my legs, like, no, I'm not taking up that space, we've been taught, that's demure to not take up space, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be I'm going to be really polite and dainty and yeah, have a really polite voice and it's not going to be too loud. It's not going to take up space. We've been taught some of these things.

Ane: 18:58

Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. You're so right, actually. And as you were saying that, you know, another way of grounding yourself, go and to a forest or a path and scream as loud as you can, especially if you're someone who can't, needs a bit of throat activation, throat chakra activation. Go and do that. My friend that Stacey once we were so irritated and agitated for some reason, I'm not sure why or how or whatever. And we both looked at each other and was can we just go to a park and scream? And we just went to a park, took our shoes off and just screamed as loud as we want. And then afterwards we literally just started laughing, pissing ourselves laughing. And it's just because we moved the energy. Yeah, we just went from this agitated annoyance to Oh, that was so weird, but kind of loved it. And now we're in hysteric. We just, it's changing that state again. I love

Stacey: 19:56

that so much. I just picture you in the park being like, ah! Yeah.

Ane: 19:59

That's so cool. Yeah.

Stacey: 20:00

Literally. Yeah. Yeah. And when we're in this world where we're really taught to be a certain way, we're taught to do a certain, we're taught to speak a certain way and don't be too this, don't be too this. Sometimes we do want to be to this. We do want to take up our own space and there's nothing wrong with taking up space for yourself. And I think when it comes to grounding, grounding is really saying, I'm going to hold this space. I have my roots. I'm I'm comfortable here, and I'm not swaying, I'm not moving out of the way for anybody, and I'm being peaceful, I'm a tree. I'm peaceful, but it doesn't mean I need to move around, out of the way for everybody else. And hopefully that can help you as you're moving through the holidays of thinking, Okay, well, oh, my uncle's done this, my mom has done this, and my dad has done this, or my, my friends are doing this. Just, one thing that I do say to myself a lot is, just go with grace. Or act with grace, be graceful. So even if I have a very heightened emotion come up and I'm getting very frustrated, in that moment, I can now just say to myself, act with grace, act with grace, act with grace. And then what comes out of my mouth is usually something where I go, okay, I'm going to say something graceful and handle this situation gracefully.

Ane: 21:24

Beautifully. Yeah, that's beautiful. And it's funny cause as you were, as you were speaking about, if I was in a heightened state and what I do, you actually took a breath, you went, and I love that because again, your body just naturally grounded itself in that moment, taking that breath, just making sure, okay, let me, before I react, let me just take a breath, which you've obviously Do really well now, well, I, I'm sure you've always done really well, but it does come really natural over time. so if you're someone that's really early days of grounding and stuff, yeah, it's going to feel a little bit weird and strange, but over time, you're going to see the compound effect and you're going to now just like Stacy, you're just going to be able to act with grace. Cause I know there's going to be some listeners and be Oh, right. Like, sure. I can just act with grace, but I always react, right. It's okay. Interesting. Let's Let's, let's make sure that before you do you take a breath or you envision roots growing into or you shake the energy, whatever it is, but you have to find what works for you. Of course, but it does, it does shift. It does shift and you don't have to react. You can respond, take a breath and yeah, act with grace. I actually love that. I feel like I'm going to use that this, this silly season.

Stacey: 22:34

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And. Yeah, that's so funny that you picked up the, the, the breath and yeah, I, I have always been told that I'm very grounded as a person, but I don't think it's something that I was born with. I think it's something that I cultivated over a long time of dealing with stressful situations. And it also reminded me of something else that I wanted to bring up, which is that, you know how people say I'll sleep on it. I'm not of the believer of that you need to sleep on things because I feel like too much time has passed. And then you get to a point where the actual energy of the situation has dissipated completely, and then nothing, and then you, you just forget about it. But I believe in... Utilizing a frustration. So you say, for example, you're having a conflict with someone, you can utilize that energy in the moment. I remember having this, this really big conflict with my dad once about he was, picking up palm fronds in the yard and was annoyed that we weren't helping pick up palm fronds, classic dad, something around the house type of thing. And I was like, Oh, this stuff came up. And in that moment, I was like. Okay, well, if you want us to help you, just, all you have to do is let us know. But inside, it was raging anger. But what came out was this thing. And it, that moment taught me so much. And then as you continue to do it over and over and over, in the moment, you can, what can come out of your mouth can be different from what's raging on inside you. And then you can fit, you can utilize an energy. It's how anger can, is useful because it gets us to take action. So I feel like when people say sleep on it, I feel too much time has passed and I've forgotten about it. And then I've missed the lesson in some way. Hmm. Hmm.

Ane: 24:26

Yeah. Or the, the what's the word? Gosh, the, the resolution of it, because. Obviously. Yeah. Take time to not react ground and make sure you're in a regular state, but also that, yeah, like you say, you can miss the magic, the resolution, because time now has passed so much that your brain and your, your body's already in someone in a, in a different, problem, And so I, yeah, I, it's funny. I do. I'm in between. I really depend obviously context matters

Stacey: 24:56

like a separation or something like that. Yeah. But I'm talking not stuff that's that

Ane: 25:02

big. Yeah. No, of course. Of course. And, and, and, and then in that for sure, I'm the same. It's once we do, we can actually talk it out. It's definitely should be the case because yeah, that's, we missing the resolution from it if we don't. And then it could be actually stagnant in the body. And it can come out again later on because you, we didn't actually resolve anything. Yeah. Because we just, time has passed too much that now it's kind of stored and it's just going to manifest again in another file and not an argument or whatever.

Stacey: 25:32

That's actually exactly what I mean. You just fully clarified that. About, okay, it, it, it's the ignoring. I'm just going to ignore this till tomorrow, that the sweep, I'm going to sweep it under the rug. That's what I don't agree with. Because I think when people say sleep on it, they're just just ignore it until it goes away, but it's not really going to go away. It's going to stay with you. So you need to process it in some fashion. Yeah.

Ane: 25:56

Yeah. Well, I'm in, I'm no relationship expert or whatever, but it's the avoidant, that's the avoidant pattern. We just avoid the conflict, avoid the resolution and then end up getting back into that problem later on because yeah, we, we just ignored it. We just avoided it. And so that's what happens, but And I, I've definitely fallen into that pattern sometimes, but yeah, it's, it really doesn't serve you. And this is the same with anything this can be with family, disagreements and, and friends and whatever. And again, when you do just take some time to ground, you do actually come from a very logical sense too. It's not just. It's the emotional, the emotional brain that's involved, but you can come to a logical sense too, because you are anchored, you are anchored in your truth or the perception or whatever. And so yeah, I do, I do agree that when you are grounded, have that conversation and don't just ignore it because it's just gonna stall and come back again.

Stacey: 26:58

Well, beautiful. I hope that that was helpful. For you to start to navigate some of those emotions over this busy period. I can't believe we're in November. Wow. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what happened to October, but yeah. Thank you so much for listening. And if you have any questions, hit us up on Instagram, send us a DM. And leave us a review, we would love to hear from you. And yeah, thank you

Ane: 27:26

so much for listening. Thanks guys. I hope you enjoyed this one and let us know. Yeah, what landed and yeah, enjoy the holidays and know that, if there's anything that comes up, it's okay. You're human. That's just the human experience, but we can always work on. Working on our responses and how we want to, show up in the world. So do your practices and you'll be good, I reckon, but thank you for listening and yeah, see you guys next time. Bye.