The trap of tunnel vision and the antidote to anxiety

This episode we discuss living in present moment instead of living in the future, and what does living holistically actually look like?

So often we have tunnel vision and fall into the trap of focusing solely on our career and work and some other parts of our lives slip by the wayside.

We also talk about when we grow spiritually sometimes relationships around us don’t feel like they fit anymore, and what to do when it happens.

And assessing our beliefs, where they come from and re-shaping yourself and the community around you.

I have a checklist planner you can download for free (no opt in required) if you go to my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/barefootbranding/ click the link in bio and scroll all the way to the bottom of the page.

The book spoken about is called “The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle”

You can find Ané and Stacey on Instagram at:
Ané - @ane.mgmnt
✦ https://www.instagram.com/mgmnt__/
https://msha.ke/anemgmnt

Stacey - @barefootbranding
✦ instagram.com/barefootbranding
🌐 barefootbranding.academy
https://barefootbranding.academy/eyes-above-waitlist/

Visit us here: 🌐 trustingtheuniverseandshit.com
Email us: 📩 hello@trustingtheuniverseandshit.com

Intro music by Tyler Dixon from @tones.on.toast - tonesontoast.com

Transcript

Stacey: 0:00

We say to ourselves, I don't have this amount of money. Therefore, I'm not successful. We have a belief system set up and then the pressure comes on top of that, I think because of all those things that we believe. Yes. Because we were saying that our episodes are kind of like therapy sessions for us. And I was at the gym the other day and I was just listening to our last episode back and I was saying, how many gold nuggets there are. What N a was speaking about. And so even listening back, I feel like even though I was there in the moment, I feel like listening back to the episode as a listening. I get so much from it, even though we were the ones that they're saying the thing at the time, so yeah. Yeah. And maybe sometimes there are others, little shifts and those little tweaks that you can make and you can reflect it back on your own life about where you are and how far you have come. Compared to when you listened to that maybe a year ago. So I think for that reason, it's really interesting too, for that self-reflection. Well, one day, one day we will. But for now, for now, for now, we, this is one of my life's mantra is though is use what you have. So I'm always have this belief now of using what you have that's available to you currently, because I spent a long time waiting until I had the perfect camera waiting until I had the. Perfect software. But. It really going to block you if you do that. So. Just use whatever you have for the time being, and then eventually you, you, you can slowly upgrade. It's called the lore of the incremental upgrades. So you just keep improving as you go, same goes for products and things that you're launching. Just launch it as is, and then improve as you go. So a couple of things we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about. Living in the future, instead of living in the, now we're going to talk a little bit about the wheel of life and living sort of holistically. And falling in the trap of, you know, focusing only on work and also the guilt that comes with the, when we take time off for play. And for those other little pieces of the pie of our lives, that sometimes we don't prioritize as much. So we're going to be talking about how to focus on things in that. Holistic way rather than just. Focusing on the one thing like money, for example. She's really looking down and I was like, what? KA, what are you doing? There is no. You know, rush. Okay. Just look, slow your roll. I that also, yeah, that also reminded me of that court wit at some point, somebody said it's not a holiday. If you have to cram everything in to the week before you go, it's not a real holiday. If you have to do that. And when I heard that, I just. My mind went, wait a second. That's true because I'm just doubling my workload for the week. Then I'm not really taking the time off. I'm just doing all the work that I was going to do anyway. Just in a shorter period and then that can lead to burnout. And especially this time of year. And Navia burnout is very real. If that's something that you're going through, feeling that rush, little bit of silly season stuff, a lot of. Stuff is happening. So if you feel like you want to retreat a little bit at this time of year, that's completely normal. I would say to want to do that. I'm feeling that official. So I've been thinking a lot about how I've often really, like you said, tunnel vision. That's a perfect way to put it the tunnel vision of success of the business and success financially. So it really pedestal in that piece of my life above, above other parts. Like, yeah, I'll sort of focus on my health and my relationships, but not as much with as much clarity and as much dedication as I will with the business. So I decided that November was going to be like my health month. So this month I decided the theme for the month was going to be. Getting back into the gym and rebuilding and trying to. Cut. Some of my patents when it comes to eating and these kinds of things. So. Yeah, that PI in the wheel of life. So you can go on Google the wheel of life. If you don't know what I'm talking about. There's lots of examples. If you go and look it up. But in this wheel of life, there are lots of different pieces to your life, right? The holistic version of your life. So you have your relationships, you have your career, you have contribution. You have actually you do. I have it open. Oh, my God. I do. I have it right here. Okay, so we've got. Yeah, finances, work time, relationships, emotions, physical body contributing back to the community. I'll just show. An a, on the screen, but yeah, so you can draw up this little wheel of life, right. For yourself. And you can feel in out of one to 10 where you think you are for each, so you can get this. Sort of bird's eye view, look at where it is you are and say to yourself, okay. I need to focus a little bit more on my physical body, over my relationships because I've neglected that area of my life. So I'm trying to find this way where I'm. Focusing a little bit on everything rather than just the one thing and feeling like that's the most important. Hmm. Yeah. Detachment from the outcome. Is it very, I think it's very spiritual concept that I don't think that a lot of people would view it that way, but I definitely view it that way of releasing the attachment to what is potentially going to look like. So as we're talking about this sort of holistic focus, I know people talk about things being holistic, but I don't think it ever actually really clicked. Really solidly for me until I realized how much I was prioritizing my business over everything else. And then once I realized, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. That's getting way too much. Way more attention than everything else. One other thing that I like to do is I use this little checklist planner. I think some, sometimes you could call it Bulletproof journaling, but I don't know. This is just something I made up that it's, it's not a whole journal. It's not a whole thing. It's just, just one sheet of paper. You can download a copy on my Instagram. At barefoot branding, you don't need an opt in or anything. It's just, if you go to the links in my bio, You go to the bottom. That you can print one out. And so all it is is I have this list on there. Actually, I need to start doing it again cause I haven't been neglecting it. But on this list I have like a 30 minutes of exercise every day, 30 minutes, reading, whatever it is that you want to prioritize, you put it on there. And then every day you check, check off whether you did those things. And I remember once I had a coach and she said to me, Okay, what can I help you with today? And I was like, I don't know, actually, I feel really good in my life's going really well. And she said, okay, well, if that's the case, Then I want you to note down what is it that you're actually doing right now? That's. Creating this great life for you.'cause. I was like, I don't need help. I don't need help right now, but of course I didn't last forever. But that was the thing that I noticed was different in that moment was that I was using this checklist planner thing. And that was what was keeping the needle moving for me every day. So that. I was just doing these little tiny habits every day to, to keep me. In check and then, you know, to check it off, it's very satisfying because you go tick. I read for 30 minutes. I did a work out and you don't have to fill it until the. Till it's full, we just sort of have to fill it half. And then you kind of look back at the end of the month and you can reflect and say, oh, okay. Yeah, I did do some of the things that I. That I was moving towards. Yeah. Yeah. And I love this idea of. Just, yeah. Not having this attachment to the outcome. And then just having a theme and then just having this list of, okay. I'm moving forward. Inch by inch increment by increment, because then we know we're moving and we're not having this huge, huge goal that we're trying to stuff into a week and get it done. And. Having these swings. So we're sustainably going through this because that's where I find a lot of people probably give up. Like they say a lot of businesses fail within a certain amount of time. I think it's because the expectation is so high and you're trying to get to a certain point. You don't get there and you just have this huge crash. But if your expectation is just that you will move the needle every day and that you will be incrementally. Doing these little things, these little steps. Then over time, that's going to be cumulative. It's going to accumulate over time. No matter what, it's the same as. You know, trying to exercise you. We all know that we have to do it consistently. We can't just fall off for six months and then come back and expect six months of. Effort. In one day, it doesn't work that way. So same goes for everything. And there's also that quote about how you do one thing is how you do everything. So how I do my business should be how I live my life. Everything has, should be intertwined in some way. You know, I can't just burn out in one area of my life and then expect that I'm not going to do that in other areas. So, you know how it's like, people work really hard. They play really hard. They get to the weekend and they play really hard. And then they go back to work and they play and they work really hard. And it's a cycle of doing everything hot and fast. And so my reflection back to me recently has been. Maybe not everything has to be hot and fast. Because that's where I feel resistance is going slow. And so my new thing is like going to the gym and walking on the treadmill for an hour to me previously. No way I'll get, I'm like too bored. Car can't do it. And now I'm like just lean into it. Just, just like accepted and just like, I go through all these emotions for the hour that I'm walking. It's quite funny. And I have to talk to myself through the whole thing and I'm walking and I'm going, just accepted, just laying into it, just like accepted. Yeah. Oh, really? That's so funny. Oh, yeah, it was blipping a little bit, but yeah, I must've, I telepathically heard that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And continually coming back, coming back to the present moment, coming back to the present moment, if anybody's interested in learning more about coming back to the present moment, how do you actually do that? I highly recommend echo. Talls book the power of now. One of my all time, favorite books ever. Incredible bulky raid one paragraph. And it has a little symbol in the book that says, like ponder this for a while. So then you will be going about your day pondering on this. Just one paragraph that he's mentioned. That really explains it because the book is set up in a question and answer format. So it's like, how do I do this? Here's the answer? How do I do this? Here's the answer. So it's not like a big bulk book. We just feel like you have to read the whole thing, which is another way that I find that we always feel like I have to get this done. I have to get the book done. This book is not like that. It's like, just pick it up every time you feel flicked to a page, read a question. Yeah. And yeah, living in the future. I just love the way that you say that in those specific, in that specific term about living in the future, because. If we constantly living in the future or we ever accepting the now, are we ever accepting. The exact situation that we're in. Exactly what room we're in. Like look at the walls that you're in. Look at this guy, look at the. All the things that are around you right now. I've are you accepting of those things or do you do, are you discounting those things and be like, no, this isn't good. I want something better. And if those things were to animate like your couch and the pillows or whatever it is, They met, maybe they're like a bit sad, like, oh, like I've been rejected. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to reject you in that way, my current surroundings. Cause yeah, there's no gratitude. And that is that sort of very dismissive. Even though they're an inanimate objects, but. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if we dig a little bit deeper here and we say, okay, where's this pressure coming from? Beyond. Okay. I'm living in the future, but what's the layer beneath that is usually the things that we believe. The things that we believe that we're capable of, that we want for our lives. I believe systems, tell us a lot about what we then make things mean. So we often have a belief system. Which then we make something mean something else. So we say to ourselves, I don't have this amount of money. Therefore, I'm not this. I'm not successful. So we have a belief system set up and then the pressure comes on top of that, I think because of all those things that we believe. So if we start to really assess the things that we believe. Then we can start to say to ourselves. Ah, okay. Yeah. Some some of the common ones that I hear from people is some things like, you know, I'm about to turn 30. I should've been here by now. I should have had the boyfriend, the partner, the husband, the kids, the house. And they don't have it. And then they, then they start to unwind, which is a really beautiful thing when you start to unwind because you're oh, okay. Wait a minute, maybe. My belief system, maybe they, those aren't mine. Those beliefs have come from society. My parents I'll find out parents. Maybe those beliefs can be let go now, and maybe I can change them myself. And then I can create my new beliefs structure. And the other thing. And I wanted to mention too, was about how you were talking about living in the future. And the pressure of thinking about that. I think Eckart tole, he talks about this in the book, is that when we think about the future that's anxiety, and if we think about the past, that usually comes with a lot of depression. So every time we're not living in the, now we have this. With thinking about something that doesn't even exist yet, we're inventing a future. It's like a high PO. Hypothetical. So we're thinking about something that doesn't even hasn't even happened. And it's creating all this internal turmoil inside of us. Yeah. Yeah. And. It's still the same today about they say that scientifically, if we get rejected from our community, it, it feels the same. The pain feels the same. So. What I would say is if you're feeling like the things that you're starting to believe are shifting as you're traversing, you know, your spiritual growth is happening. Sometimes people do need to be left behind because they don't come. They don't get to come with you as you level into a different. Sort of belief system. They don't match. That frequency that you're on now. So that's natural for people to be left behind because people stop fearing on nor like I'm not going to have any friends anymore, but. Sometimes it does naturally happen. So just allow it, if that does happen. And you're feeling yourself distancing from people just. It's okay. It's all right. Just to allow that to happen. And. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if you guys are having a bit of. You know, conflict coming up at Christmas or they're awesome. You know, different. Heightened emotions coming out. Just plug in some good podcasts. Doesn't have to be this one, but if you're listening then. You know, obviously you're listening, but some books, some things to try to get. Even, you know, you can have a virtual community around you. You can have things to listen to. You don't have to necessarily have these physical people surrounding you. If you're feeling very distanced from them. Yeah. Yeah. Pandora's box. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know if you want to message us, our Instagram handles are in the show notes. And thank you so much for listening today. It's been a pleasure. As always. Yeah. Let's see on the next episode.