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Ane:
when it feels like nothing's happening, like when it comes to business, or terrible things happening in your personal life, try your best to think of times where it actually went really, really well.
Stacey:
sometimes we just looking to confirm what we already know and believe. We can just trust ourselves and not have to always have an external. Source to confirm that thing Before we dive into today's episode, I wanted to quickly introduce you to my group program. That's going to be starting at the end of March. This program is called Eyes Above, and it will help you move past your bottlenecks name, your products and services, map your vision and mission, your tone of voice. The look and feel having persuasive messaging so you can attract the right people into your world. Stand out against the competition, without it feeling hard or sleazy. And of course the storytelling, because it's the one thing that I believe everybody has and can leverage. Because I believe you have a story to tell. And we can leverage this to build a profitable brand. So this is a group program. It is not just a standalone course. And if you would like to check this out, you can head to footbrandingacademy.com/eyesabove. And check out all the information there. You can also email stacey@barefootbranding.academy. If you'd like more information and without further ado onto the episode.
Ane:
Hello everyone and welcome to episode 35 in Trusting the Universe and Shit. Of course, it's me and Stacey here. We are so, so excited about today's, I feel like we say that every episode but we really are because it's gonna be We kind of sound a bit contradicting to ourselves. We wanted to talk about spiritual bypassing a little bit. Whether or not it is a sign from the universe, from God, from source, whatever your truth is. And yeah, we just wanted to like give a little bit of insight and light about this. So it's going to be a really good one.
Stacey:
Yes, I do feel like we say that, but I think because it's also been a few weeks for us. And also, pardon my voice today. I'm dealing with a bit of a little bit of congestion going on here, but, you know, We are not taking that as a sign. Not to do the focused. And yeah. So today we're going to be talking about. Whether or not, we should be taking things as a sign. And when do we know when things are assigned and when aren't they and yeah, it's going to be kind of, sometimes it's not going to be always. Very clear, but we're
Ane:
yeah, because I was you know, I've been seeing a lot of like, talk about, Oh, this must be a sign that you're on the right path, or you're not, or whatever. And, you know, I will always probably be a, this must be a sign girly. So I just wanted to caveat that, because even though I may be talking about, I may sound like I'm not, I just think that sometimes we have to be, again, discerned about whether or not It's like a little bit of like an egoistic type, like, Oh, it must be a sign that this big, this thing that's so resistant and so hard to do, I just, isn't in alignment. And I think we've got to be careful with that language and that thought process, because that could be the thing that's like blocking you, you know, that that roadblock, that could be the glass ceiling moment, and you're just actually repeating a cycle, actually just repeating a pattern. So yeah, I think that's something that we really want to talk about.
Stacey:
Yep. I think probably the first thing to look into is whether or not. We are just trying to keep ourselves in a space of comfort and safety, and we don't want to step outside of that. And taking things as assign, not to do certain things. Like if we're feeling a lot of resistance, To taking a new path. Maybe it's feeling really risky and something comes up against us and. And we take that as a sign and we say, okay, well, I'm not really meant to do that. I'm not really meant to go down this path. Like the, sometimes we. Take big leaps and then we get knocked back. JK Rowling. Got rejected, 27 times from 27 publishes. Really could have taken that as a sign. Like I really shouldn't be a writer. This isn't good enough. I've been rejected 27 times. But imagine if she hadn't continued on. And how the world would have been so different without the works that she created. So, yeah, I think sometimes we've really got to determine, okay. Are these signs or are these just little teaching moments
Ane:
Yeah, absolutely. I like that you said teaching moments because that's the thing. It's like sometimes, and they, you know, remind me again the terminology of this, but sometimes when we say to our mind, okay, I want to see a red car. Of course we're going to see a red car eventually. Like that is just the same way with anything in the journey of business, life, whatever. It's like, if there's a little bit of a belief of no, I genuinely don't want this or it's too scary to have, or gosh, I don't know, there's too many responsibilities that come with that or whatever the story is, there's going to be signs, quote unquote, that's going to show up to kind of, enable that belief for you. So I think that that's where we, yeah, we have to be very careful of whether we're seeing the sign as like as a positive thing or just reaffirming it, a limiting belief. And you're right, like with J. K. Rowling, you know, that's a big sign that she could have just stopped there, but she obviously believed in the story and maybe it was, you know, the journey from it that she was like, I'm just going to keep going. And I think that's also another beautiful thing. Like sometimes. The path that's least resistant maybe feels resistant at the time, right? Like, of course, like anything new that you do, it's like, gosh, there's so much resistance. I'm going to feel like an idiot, blah, blah, blah. But then you do it more, you do it more. It's like, now it's the path that's least resistant. And you could have taken that sign before that was like, nah, this is too hard. It's, well, it's whatever the belief is and not have fallen the path that's least resistant. But now you actually finding the path that's very resistant all the time because it's actually not where you were supposed to go. So there's just like something in that that I think it's really beautiful to take note of. Yes,
Stacey:
behind that it's called a Beider Meinhof phenomenon. So it's a cognitive bias. So when we're going about our day, and like you said, we were aware that we need to find a red car. Oh, we'll see a red car. Like I was looking around for a car that I wanted and I wanted this like Suzuki Jimminy, and then I started seeing them absolutely everywhere. You know, every time I would go leave the house, I'd be like a Jimminy and you start seeing them. So. That's this Baader Meinhof phenomenon. So sometimes that is what's happening inside our brains. It's this. Like illusion where. We think that there's a more of something than there actually is just because we're consciously aware of it. And I think it's what's her name? The holistic psychologist. You know, the one on Instagram. She has that book. Yeah. That book. How to heal yourself or something, but she. She talks about how we're functioning 95% in our subconscious brain day to day. So only 5% in the conscious mind, the conscious mind. So anything subconscious is, you know, probably just stuff that we're really not aware of, that we're just. Like our digestive system driving is probably very subconscious to a lot of us now. A lot of things, you know, when we go to the fridge, a lot of that's happening, very subconsciously. We just kind of doing it and we're doing our laundry and things, and we're not really thinking about it in a very conscious way. So. Once we start bring stuff into our conscious mind. Maybe it's sort of, you know, that we're just really aware of it. So, if we're looking for a sign, we'll probably start to see it. And I'm not necessarily saying that this is going to be a bad thing that. For looking for a sign. But sometimes we just looking to confirm what we already know and believe. And if we already know and believe we can just trust ourselves and not have to always have an external. Source to confirm that thing and just to trust in ourselves. And I know that this show is called trusting the universe. But the is the universe, not us. Is the universe, not us turned in outward inward. Are we all, not the same thing.
Ane:
It does
Stacey:
I don't know if that
Ane:
and I love that you kind of intertwine that because exactly I was like When I told Sace about this topic, I'm like, I know that we may sound very contradicting and that like, we're not actually, it may not really make sense, but it does at the end of the day because, yeah, the source is within us, right? Like, anyone who believes in God or universe, it's like, we believe because we put time and energy into that belief of God. There's something greater than us and the whole, it's the whole consciousness. Right. And so I think that there's just like, I think like exactly what you were saying. It's like, we have to be mindful of the stories we're telling each other of us, sorry, of ourselves, stories that we're telling ourselves and this unconscious patterns that we can't like constantly live in. And so, yeah, we just have to be aware of that and be mindful. And I think the best way, like, Is to sit with yourself in contemplation, is to meditate, is to ask yourself why am I doing this thing, or why did I possibly sabotage this way, or not lean into that edge, or lean into that thing that felt really scary, and why did I take that as a sign, was that a sign, like, you know, really just questioning these things is going to be really important for us to shift a lot of the unconscious patterns that we always live in. Yeah, I
Stacey:
'cause I feel like probably the pot where this is going to become sort of detrimental to us is when we take it as a sign, when something doesn't really go right. When it's something we really wanted. Like I was saying with the book publishing, it's something you really wanted, but it doesn't go the way you thought. So you take that as a sign. So I think that's probably where it can become detrimental potentially because it's something that, where when. We're avoiding the pain, the fear, the uncomfortability of moving through. An experience because we think. That must be a sign. That must be a reason why I shouldn't be going down this path. But I will always come back to, you know, having choices. We all have choices that we can make, regardless of whatever is happening externally of us. And. You know, I've been in like meditation circles where I've heard that. So clearly, like everything here. That we do down here is our choice. And that's part of the beauty of it is that we don't really have to. Take into account. What other people. You know, recommend for us or say to us at the end of the day, really everything is really your choice. It's up to
Ane:
Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, if you believe that you are the creator of your own reality, then you have a choice constantly and you constantly choose. If you are a victim to your reality, then you're still choosing at some, you're choosing that archetype, right? You're choosing that, you know, and I'm saying that very compassionately because obviously context matters. But yeah, we both believe that you're creators of your own reality. Yes, things sometimes don't go as we please. We don't take that as a sign that that means we're not on the right path or that we must be wrong or that's wrong or whatever. We pivot and we shift and then we evolve. And I just think that's the beauty of you know, playing in that creator archetype of, of whatever you believe in. And so I love that you brought the conversation of choice because I believe that too. But I just wanted to say that, yeah, I totally agree. And I think sometimes we just get very lost in needing to Make the right choice? Well that was definitely my, my thing was like, oh
Stacey:
Yeah, like Cory down. Quiet. Right.
Ane:
is not It's, it doesn't exist, I think. Now, I believe that it doesn't exist. There was so many times where I felt like I was like, in this paralysis analysis, like, should I choose this or that? And then I'm just like stuck anyways, like there's no momentum happening because I'm making all these pros and cons. And so I just think that whatever choices you make, the universe will conspire to the path that is for your highest good. Like that is just, having that belief, it just lights up everything. It feels more, it softens and it lights the experience whether it's a bad quote unquote bad experience or not. So yeah.
Stacey:
And sometimes we don't know where, what our highest timeline might be. So we might think we want a certain thing for that highest. Life that highest timeline. But actually they're all things that we just, we're not, we don't know. Yet. The way that our life may unfold and unfurl for us. And we may just need to let some surprises happen for us. And not, I think a lot of this comes into force. Like we're not forcing anything. We're not forcing. Something, and we're not gripping on, we're not. You know, You know, like we're not grasping something to say, no, I need to like find this sign note. No, I need, I need this. This is a sign. This is a sign, you know, it's, it's sort of like this, just releasing a little bit of that. That fear of control that. Gripping so that we can. Trust that I'm going to go in this direction and we're going to see where that's going to take me. And I'm not going to necessarily. Really need to confirm all the steps along the way, because sometimes I want to let the universe and the world surprise and delight me as I go on that journey. So I'm not necessarily. Just going that kind of real beeline one path. Like I'm only going in this one direction and I'm going to get there no matter what. And I feel like sometimes we can get very. You know, like we can get very. Attached. There's a lot of attachment that goes into the things that we want. And sometimes we need to just release a little bit of that.
Ane:
Absolutely, yeah. And I think, like, that's what I kind of mentioned earlier of, like, sometimes we're repeating patterns without knowing it, like, unconsciously. Like, where, where else in our lives are we attaching onto outcomes and things? And see if that's coming out in other areas of your lives, you know? And when it comes to moving through these resistance or these moments, it's like, I think there's, that's why spirituality and doing practices really help to kind of. Untangle all of that messiness that you you get yourself caught up in but at the same time also, not let there be spiritual bypassing happening as well because Sometimes we get so caught up and this is from my experience of just always doing the work and always trying to like uncover everything and then not really taking needle moving forward actions, right? And like there's a very fine line and it's really good to know which way you're going into. Like I can tell now when I'm kind of in a pattern and I'm like, okay, let's, there's something, it's called like pattern recognition or something. Where you just, you just start to. do something different and just see how that pattern starts to soften, soften, soften. Eventually you don't do that anymore. And the same applies to when I really have to just sit and work on my shadows or sit in meditation or feel the feels, feel the fear. And you know, these is a time and place for both. And I just think that, yeah, we have to be very mindful of where we are at and we get to choose again, we get to choose where, which one we want to lean into. And Yeah, I think that's, that's the kind of key elements that we wanted to speak on of like, whether or not it's a sign, what to do about it and how to move through that. And also just like very, being very honest with yourself, right? Like, is this a pattern? Am I just, you know, really just don't want to lean into the fear and then shifting that mindfully and compassionately.
Stacey:
So, what would you say to somebody who was trying to recognize whether it was a pattern or not? Whether it was something that they were doing to sabotage themselves potentially, and it was a pattern. What would you say to somebody to try to recognize whether or
Ane:
Yeah, I mean, I guess it like depends on what it is, but I mean, I would probably ask, has this, has this fear or feeling come out anywhere else in your life? And then kind of just build that, like the story that's there, because I think once we kind of know the story, then we can, we can shift it. Yeah, that's sort of where I would start. And that's what I do with me, because I'm just giving like an example of how I would do it, you know? Like I'm not, I'm not a coach or a mentor. But I, I do, that's what I would tell like a friend or something, or to myself. What about you? What would you say?
Stacey:
Well, I'm just thinking of like what what's an example. So say for example, you hurt your foot. And you're trying to learn how to run a marathon or something. And you say to yourself, I'm going to do this marathon. And then you got an injury. And, you know, Maybe you take that as a sign. Or there was the, the guy who he was a free climber.
Ane:
Yeah. Wild.
Stacey:
So he's a free climber and he ended up. Losing the tip of one of his fingers. And so, you know, as a rock climbing, you really do need the tips of your fingers. And, you know, he, he didn't take that as a sign. He sort of, well, maybe he did, but he took it in a really positive way and he ended up. Becoming way stronger. And so he trained twice as hard with they're remaining digits, like the two little nacho notches that he had remaining. And he would like hang from his Van, had those little rock climbing things. And he would like, hang from there. And an eventually. He climbed a very difficult climb, the first person to ever have done it all the way to the top without any ropes in four hours. And this was your Yosemite, 3000 foot El Capitan wall. And. You know, to be the first ever person to have done that without any ropes is just a phenomenal feat. thinking about things like that, like, how are you allowing certain external forces in your life to derail the things that you really want? So just because sometimes we have things that come in our way, maybe they are there. To be teachers for us to teach us to be stronger, is it there for us to learn something rather than it being? That's a sign for me. I really shouldn't go ahead with this path. Because I think if you really wanted something.
Ane:
Mhm.
Stacey:
follow that feeling fully, the feeling that. You you feel inside you? I know I really want to do this thing. And as many obstacles that come up in your path, It's kind of like, have you watched those like ninja. Jump across all the little obstacles and everything. So that when they get to the end and they nail that. Well, I don't know what it's called, but they nailed the pathway through. It's so satisfying because if that was just a walkway on the floor, You wouldn't feel good if you got to the end, you wouldn't feel accomplished. You'd be like. Yeah, but that was really easy. So it's almost like us being able to get through all of these obstacles. Gives us faction that we got there. We got through all of that and we got here and we can be really, really proud of.
Ane:
yeah, absolutely. I couldn't, I couldn't agree more. And I also feel like it just, it adds to your story. Like, I just think, I mean, just to refer back to like, JK Rowling's story, like, sometimes when things come up, and it's like, really, really hard, it's like, perhaps there's, yeah, there's that evolution part, like there's a lot of teaching and learning coming from this, but also, like, it's like, Is this a story that's being built that can also potentially help others or can also potentially create that belief for them as well. And I think that's also a beautiful way and it kind of takes you out from like this I egoic sort of state to like this could be a very universal service or offering that you're doing because you're not only rooting for yourself, but you're also rooting for the impact that you're going to create, you know, and I just think that that's also a really beautiful way of like trying to not, yeah, not take it, you know, I want to say not so personally, but I also can understand that it would be very personal and very painful if you lost a finger or if you were getting 27 no's or making zero dollars in your business for months and months on end and you know, we've been there and it's like, honestly, so it's, it's really hard, but again, like you said, if you just come back to your, to your why, to what, what this can be of service to the world, gosh, it does, it does bring that back, that strength for you to keep going.
Stacey:
Yeah. And I was just thinking about how, when I was living. You know, house to house, house, sitting, trying to build the business for nine months. You know, we didn't have anywhere. To live. And I really could have taken that as a sign. Like, you know, stop building my business. Stop going. This is too hard. But I kept telling myself like, so for the plot line, this is going to make a great story. One day. So sometimes that can help me too. Like this is going to be a great story. One day. You know, when you're in the middle of something that really shitty. And you're saying, okay, this is going to make
Ane:
Yeah, plot twist. You know those plot twists that you watch, the cliffhangers that they leave you on on every damn episode of a TV series. You're like, well, that's, we've got our own personal plot twists happen that sometimes, but it helps for the story. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Yeah,
Stacey:
So we need to have the conflict for it to be interesting. I mean, it might not be interesting for you at the time, because even when you were talking about, you know, I'm the creator of my own reality, I can just feel how triggering that can be. Like, no, but there's all these external things that are happening for me. And I can't control those things. And thinking about I'm the creator of my own reality. In there is without mind where it that's the only thing we can really control. ADA of how I feel. In inside my body. So. We can't control all of those external things, but as the creator. Of the internal spaces inside our mind. Those are the things that we can control and we can shift. Is our perspectives and the things and the things we choose to. Believe and look at, and yeah.
Ane:
absolutely. And actually, on that note as well, like, when, you know, You know, all these things happen. I remember a client sorry, a mentor once told me about when it feels like nothing's happening, like when it comes to business, or all these terrible things happening in your personal life, try your best to think of times where it actually went really, really well. It felt like death or it felt like nothing was going to work. And then actually that it was an unfolding of something even better turning out and just try and remind yourself of that. And I know, I know as well, like you said, people are going to feel triggered with that because it's like when you're really, really in a very dark place and you hear that, like that's the last thing you want to do. But it could be as small as someone randomly buying you a coffee one time or whatever, but like these small little moments that actually ended up being. a blessing for you, right? I can think of so many times where nothing was happening in my business and then all of a sudden, just this influx of like inquiries came in or, or people being like, Hey, I would love to know more or whatever. It's like, so every time, like, I feel like that intensity of like, I'm doing all this promo and I'm trying my best and there's nothing happening. I just try and. Get back into that time when actually there was a lot happening and you just have to keep holding on and holding on to that trust, so yeah.
Stacey:
love that. And yeah, I'm I just, yeah, I definitely I'm feeling this, this one about just feeling like, ah, this is. Like, it's not working and. Thinking of those small reminders of when those, when you really think nothing is going to work out and then having a little reminder, and those are really positive signs that we can look to. Like the little things. That can pop up for us in life that are giving us a little hints and little messages and things that we can follow. So. Yes. I love that. I think that's going to be really helpful. And it sounds like it's a small thing, but I, I do think sometimes it is the small things in the small tweaks and the small perspective shifts that can really help us just change from day to day. And have a. Little bit of a better. I don't know, outlook just for that day.
Ane:
Absolutely. Yeah. It just shifts the energy a little bit. And sometimes let's say you're having the most best day ever. I would take note of it. Like what was it that made it really great? What was all the cool things that happened? And then have a little folder or something where you can like, when you're in a really, really dark space to like, look at this, like, notes that you've taken before of things feeling like not happening and then it happened. And yeah, just shifting that energy really helps. But I also, I totally get it. I also know and I've been there many times where it's the last thing that you want to do, like the absolute last thing. But give yourself five minutes to just be in that and ponder on to it and see how, if it does lighten up a little bit, but
Stacey:
It's actually great advice because I had a, really a high level coach once and we were getting on a call and I was like, things are going pretty good right now. And she said, okay, well, in that instance, what you do is you take note of exactly what you're doing now, so that when you. Inevitably get into a position when you're not doing as well. You can look back on that. Like you said, take a note of it. Look back and say, ah, these were the things I was doing at that time where things were going really well. And can I replicate some of those activities? And that's how you can bring yourself back because you're not always going to be in that state. It's not going to last forever. So, yeah, very, very good tip.
Ane:
Yeah. Amazing. So I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Not everything has to be assigned you guys, and if you are take, if you are assigned girl, you're like us, it's we are not saying it's a bad thing. We just want you to be mindful that you're not possibly trying to get yourself out of an edge or a new growth because it actually feels really hard or, you know, tricky to move forward. So we just wanted to shine that light.
Stacey:
Yeah. Yeah. That resistance is sometimes only there. Just for our soul's expansion and, you know, for us to grow through that resistance and come out the other side and feel like, you know, Being really accomplished. So thank you so much for listening. You can visit https://trustingtheuniverseandshit.com/. We have a website there's not much on there just yet, but you can contact us.
Ane:
Yeah, let us know if there's anything that landed for you. We'd love, love to hear it.