Lone wolf mentality vs the magic of collaboration

Are you a lone wolf? Do you find it hard to let go of control enough to trust others to delegate or let them fill in the gaps? 

We talk about collaborating on projects and if that's either in business or just for a creative project and some of the experiences and pitfalls we've noticed. 

Are your ears and eyes open to the infinite possibilities that may come from working with others? Send us a message and tell us about your experience collaborating and if its something you need to lean more into.

You can find Ané and Stacey on Instagram at:

Stacey - @barefootbranding
✦ instagram.com/barefootbranding
🌐 barefootbranding.academy

Ané - @mgmnt__
✦ https://www.instagram.com/mgmnt__/
https://msha.ke/anemgmnt

Visit us here: 🌐 trustingtheuniverseandshit.com
Email us: 📩 hello@trustingtheuniverseandshit.com

Intro music by Tyler Dixon

Transcript

Stacey: 0:00

sometimes all your job is you're reflecting back to them. Here's the mirror, and when you're in a collaboration maybe you're on the same plane. You're both reflecting back at each other. And maybe that's creating that infinite possibility.

Ane: 0:14

there's this real openness with collaboration because you're putting a lot of trust in the other person or the project if you're someone who lacks trust to just,Show the universe. You know what? I'm leaning into this

Stacey: 0:47

Today we're going to be talking about collaborating. And collaborating with different people, whether that's in a business sense or just in a project, in a creative sense. And. All of the trials and tribulations that come with collaborating and why we also think collaborating is really important. And some of the problems that can pop up when you're collaborating. And maybe some of the pitfalls to look out for.

Ane: 1:14

yeah, I definitely, I definitely think that collaboration is a huge collective energy right now. I know from experience and just from seeing a lot of shifting in business and how we do business. And I think for. so long we had this lone wolf mentality, this very much individualism energy of like. I am the goats and this is how I got to everything and I don't need no person and very independent driven, but like we've talked about as the pendulum goes from one way to the other, it has been much more of a, collaborative. Collective shift. And I personally love that more. I think I've always been more of a relationship, commutative person. What about you Stace? Do you feel like you're more lean towards community or are you more of a lone wolf type?

Stacey: 2:11

Definitely began as a learn Wolf type. But I think it was because of a sabotage of hyper independence. That was leading me down the path of thinking that I needed to, I know I should be doing everything myself. And then as I've gone along, I think it's become very much more like I've seen the phenomenal benefits that comes from working with other people. And when we're working with other people, So much more can be. So much more juice can come out of that rather than me being. I'm just going to do everything myself. I'm going to hide myself. I'm going to do. All of these. Bits and pieces on my own. And I think part of it is. A pot about control. So control. Like wanting to control the outcome of something, rather than letting a project live in, breathe on its own and letting it become something that you couldn't ever foresee. And something way better than you ever could have imagined. And that was one of the reasons why this podcost. I knew I really didn't want to do one on my own because I just knew that the possibil. Stability is we're going to far out stretch. When working with somebody else, rather than just me talking to him on my own.

Ane: 3:24

Yeah, I, I agree. I mean, same thing with me too. I think, especially at this early stages of business, I was very much like lone wolf mentality. I'm going to figure this all by myself. And whether. I think there was that sabotaging feeling, but I also think I was scared of failing myself and other people as well. And so I was like, I'm just going to do it myself, figure it out myself. And then and then I didn't get very far, obviously. And then you're right. It's probably because we want to hold on to our control and be controlling everything around us, but there's actually a lot of freedom to just like release that and just be like, I'm just going to let things unfold the way it does. And obviously, sometimes it's easier said than done, but it does get easier. I think so. And I think now I'm much more of like a. Let's do this thing together. I mean, I think this podcast actually, like I said has been a huge initiation to just like collaborate with people. Cause I'm like the worst that what can happen is it doesn't go further than that. Like, cool. We tried, we did our best. We learned from it. We overcome something and then we move on. Like truly. And I think for so long earlier on in business, I was like, Oh, but then everyone's going to know that I failed. Everyone's going to be like, Oh, what happened to this project and that? But like, who cares? Literally no one cares. Literally everyone is too busy thinking about their own shit that, yeah. So I couldn't agree more. I think control is a huge thing. Why people stay in that lone wolf mentality.

Stacey: 4:55

Yep. And it's just so much more. There are so many more learning lessons when we're working with other people. And some of those lessons can be very difficult. And I think some of those are the lessons that we shy away from because we're going, I don't really, I don't really want to work with this person because it's going to bring up all these. Problems, but those problems are there for you to learn. To move through. And especially if we are working with other people, of course, there are going to be differences in the ways that we do things in different timelines, different personalities. And different ways of working that's going to work. And one of the things that people always say, like dart work with your friends and family. And. That one I do disagree with now, because it just depends on who it is. It's not a blanket statement of don't work with your friends and family. A fan very much that I have worked really well with some members of my family and members of my friends. And then sometimes it doesn't work. But often it does too. So. Yeah. The blanket statements about who you should work with, I think should be really more energetic. Rather than it being just. It's like saying no, don't work with anyone over the age of this. Those blanket statements don't really work very well.

Ane: 6:13

Oh my God. I couldn't agree more. I, I, I've heard that statement too before, and we all just know at the end of the day, it's just a projection of you having a bad experience and you just don't want them to have that bad experience, which I've done before as well. Like, you know, we all do that sometimes, but. I also think that you've, you know, when people like break up and then they're always like an old person always be like, well, better that it happened now than in 10 years time with kids and like, and you're married or like all of the stuff, right? And it's sort of the same thing with friends and collaborations, like better that you had that experience and it went to shit, then. You always just wondering, what if, what if, what if, you know, and then not learning anything from it or not growing from that. So and same thing, like I've had times where I've collaborated or worked with people that didn't go so well. But at the end of the day, if you're both very integral and authentic and honest, you can be like, yeah, you know what? I really screwed up in that department. I really didn't like structure this right or onboard you this well. And. That's actually a win in my eyes because you've both actually learned from that experience and know now next time how to move forward if you want to have, if you want to collaborate like that again, you know what I mean? Rather than the, nope, I'm not even going to look at that or try to collaborate with that person because it's, you know, having that really closed off energy is., it's a bit of detrimental to your growth and your evolution, I truly think.

Stacey: 7:44

And why is that necessarily better that, you know, Oh, it's better that you break up now before this and this, and this happens, maybe there's lessons supposed to be there for you. And they're not a detriment. So, you know, people say, oh, it's Betty. You break up now before. Before you're married before the kids. Well, why. Who says, nobody says it's only our belief systems that cause us to say certain things like we believe. That it's going to be better. But who says, you say you create your own belief system? You. Create the things that you want to believe in this world, and then everything stems out of those beliefs. And if we decide to believe something different, now life will be different.

Ane: 8:30

I guess, like, when it comes to collaborations, I mean, I try to be as... Open and honest with both parties of like, okay, what, what is the best outcome and what's the worst case scenario? I think it's a good sort of neutral place to be because then you're not being too delusional, too d Lulu about it, but you're also not being too pessimist. Pess, what's the word Pess Pessimistic like. So you, you can kind of be in that neutral state of like, actually the worst case scenario is not that bad, or actually the best case scenario is pretty freaking cool. And I'm, I love that you can kind of be neutral to both. and I think that's, that's a really good way of just like, if you're ever in a, in a process of collaborating or you have this really cool idea and you're like, Oh, I would love to collaborate on someone with this, like ask yourself what's, that's the best and the worst case. And then you'll notice people will probably come into your life where you already have people in your life and ask them, Hey, how would you feel about this or that? And you can really just like form a understanding of if this is sort of the direction you want to go with this. Particular person to collaborate with, you know,

Stacey: 9:41

Yeah. And if we say to ourselves that was a bad experience. Then we can say to ourselves, okay. That was a bad experience. Therefore. That's something I don't want to do again, and we can utilize it. So that's the learning lesson. So it wasn't wasted. That process, because we can say, oh, I wish I never did that. But now we have the experience. Now we know, okay, this is what I'm going to be looking for. And always be going towards what we prefer to do, not what we don't prefer to do. And then that's why these lessons appear for us to learn and then, and then we can move on. So the next time we collaborate, we know what to look out for. We know what. Kinds of ways we want to work. And the only way to do it is I think is to go through the process of collaborating with people. How, how else will you know exactly how you want to work, unless you're actually doing it, because if you're just in your mind about it, It's, there's not going to be any learning there because your mind can just invent all the different scenarios. But until you actually go through the process of doing it. Then do we get the lesson?

Ane: 10:47

I also feel like you practice a lot of self assurement and like boundary setting. And when you start to collaborate with people, because you really have to know the standard that you want to perform in or that you want to show up as and really see if that person that you're collaborating with is meeting you there. And I think it's like a really good tool to like, if you ever been in a state where you're like, man, I just want to go to this next level. And I just. You know, I don't know how. I think collaboration could be one of the key factors to get there, because I know from experience. You know, especially if you're doing a service to service collaboration, like let's say you're doing a project with someone and they have an expertise, like, you know, photography or graphic design or whatever, but you're, that's not your expert. And so your expert is to set up the backend of whatever that project is, right. Or whatever, right. I'm just giving like a scenario of two people coming together with two different strengths to form that project. I think you can then really form like a. A communication of like, okay, what's your expectations and standards of us doing this service to service together, or what would you really like to get out of this? And then you really just form this really open dialogue of like figuring out what we both want. And if our needs are being met, you know, because rather than just being like willy nilly and then. One of us getting hurt because they obviously had a mutation or standard and it didn't, they weren't expressing it. And so it just gets then it gets messy, which again is okay. That's a lesson learned then maybe there wasn't a boundary set. Maybe there wasn't, you know communication, enough communication set there. So I think, I think that's one way of really moving into a new level is. Collaboration and showing up to that.

Stacey: 12:39

I think it absolutely is a new level because. As much as you think it's great to sit inside your own little bubble and control everything that goes on in there. That's why you're doing it. You're trying to keep yourself in that little safety net in that little safety area. And as soon as you step out of that and you start working with other people, Then you start getting all these problems. You might. Go, no, I'm going to go. I'm going to stay in my little bubble and I can control it in here. But. You're not going to get greatness. I think by working on your own. And you're not going to go very far by working on your own. And I think one of the other mistakes that we make is thinking that. Okay. Well, if, if I set up all my boundaries and everything in the, in the beginning and everything, I stipulate everything that's going to happen. So this, this is often the case, you know, when I'm working with people, So I can give everyone a contract and I can say these are all the boundaries. These are all the things that are in place for our working relationship. No one ever reads it. So it's has to be me constantly communicating it as the relationship moves on. So it's not just this one and done thing like, okay, these are my stipulations, these are all the things. So. It requires like a constant. Shifting on your own behalf too, because your. Saying to yourself. Okay. Where are my boundaries? And then navigating them, and then having this constant dialogue with yourself and with the person you're working with about. What's happening and how's it going and having that open communication. Because without that, I don't think. That we can just sort of have this one and done situation because that's something that I used to think. I used to think. I will. I put it all in the terms and conditions. They should know, but nobody ever reads it.

Ane: 14:29

Mm-Hmm. Yeah. Everyone's just too busy with their own minds and, you know, worlds and, you know, and I'm not saying that, I'm not excusing them, like giving them a like validating. I think we should all like, read our contracts at least once and proposals at least once and then, you know, try and remember. Even if I'm I'm like, there's sometimes things that I slip up or forget about and then I'm like, oh, yes, you did, you know, this is in the contract and stuff. So I think, it's building that muscle again, like just constantly being transparent, constantly communicating and and eventually I do think it'll like sink in essentially especially if you also coming. From a place of integrity by showing up that specific way, because I know from experience, like I would be like, no, no conversation, no communication over the weekends. And then I'm the one that would randomly message them on a Sunday night. And I'm like, well, I just broke my own boundary. So that's on me. Right. So it's like,

Stacey: 15:28

Yeah.

Ane: 15:28

it's it's, yeah, it's also checking yourself and being like, you can't expect them to always. Yeah. You know. Obey, not obey, that's not the right word, but you know what I mean, like

Stacey: 15:39

Obey me.

Ane: 15:41

I'm like, there must be another word, but I can't think of it, but you know what I'm saying, like stay with, stick with your boundaries and then you break them. So like, that's where that integral piece is really important. And we're all human. I, I constantly, you know, fuck up in that sense, but then I just remind myself and I express it all. Yep. Okay. Let's talk about it on Monday morning or whatever. Right. Like you don't have to.

Stacey: 16:06

So when you text somebody on the weekend and you've told them I didn't work on the weekend, you have trained that person. That you do respond immediately as soon as you message them. So I'm very guilty of this. Because the little flashing light, the little notification, I hate having it say a number on there. I want to always get it cleared off. I didn't like having it stacked. I can maybe go a day while I'm working, but I always have to check it. Like I couldn't like going multiple days would be very hard. I'd have to delete the whole thing, but

Ane: 16:36

Oh, you're one of those people that have numbers. Oh my God. Really?

Stacey: 16:41

like, well, when my

Ane: 16:42

Clear them out. Yeah

Stacey: 16:44

My emails have like a lot of, I have a lot of unread emails, but on my phone. You don't hustle thing. I need to like, look at it and like,

Ane: 16:54

You would freak out of my like notifications. I have like hundreds that I just don't open.

Stacey: 16:59

Yeah. Yeah.

Ane: 17:01

it much. I don't know. Probably

Stacey: 17:04

yeah. Like when I see people's, you know, On the computers or something, and it will say like 150 text messages. I'm like how. Radio messages.

Ane: 17:13

Half of them are scams, we all know that. Half of them are those, hi mom, lost my phone, like,

Stacey: 17:19

Yeah. Yeah, I know, but I still have to go click it and then I have to delete it. Like I have to clear them off.

Ane: 17:24

You gotta delete them just they're just avoided. It's just an pattern.

Stacey: 17:29

Yeah, so. So back to collaborating. So I, we're talking about collaborating in a sense where maybe we've traded somebody for something as well, and not just like a client relationship cause client relationships. In business, we've set them up very differently. There's a different structure there. Someone has come to us and they've said, okay, this is what I want. And you've given them like a proposal, their proposal stipulates, exactly what you're going to do for them. It's very clear. So even though sometimes people don't read it, I can always refer them back or this is what's included and they go, oh, okay. And they like, oh, I don't know if this was included or not, but can I have this? And I say, either. Yes it is, or no, it's not. That's going to be an extra cost. But when my collaborating on say creative project, like something, that's just like a piece of art. Like, if I'm working. With my partner on something like we're just creating videos and whatever. There's a different dynamic that I think happens in that kind of scenario where. Doing a collaboration on something. Where it's not really a client. Paying for you. For a product because the product isn't really stipulated because then you'll both working out what it is you're creating the end product. Isn't clear, so that hasn't been stipulated. And I think that's a very different to the client relationships. So. You know, if I'm working with my partner and we go, okay, what if we did this video? So we went into the city and we did a like content creation day and we were just sort of walking around. We went to the library and we were on the street and we did it like a time lapse of me sitting down. And we're both constantly communicating. We're going okay. What about this would be cool. What about if we did it like this? And what about if we shot it this way? And then I said, okay, what if we did like a time-lapse and we sat at the tr set up the tripod and we sat there for a couple minutes. This kind of communication requires like this. Constant feedback like inching by inching, by inching. And then, okay. What about this? And it's almost like the more you feed it. The more, the other person gets excited and you can both become really excited about it and say, oh, what if we did like. What if we did like a Halloween shop and we made it black and white and it was really funny. And. You know, I'll write all the little notes down in my phone. And. My partner and I, we've just gotten to a point where it's just, it's such a natural flow. There, there, there isn't any stickiness, but when you're working with somebody. Who haven't known a really long time. You have to navigate through all of that. Like as if you've for the first time. And. I don't know if I have any advice for this or not. Other than to say, just keep communicating. And sometimes people will say stuff like, okay, well it's too late now to say. That I don't want to do this project anymore, or I don't want to do it like this anymore. My advice there, I think would just be, it's not too late. It's never going to be too late. For you to say, okay, well, how about we do it in this other way? Because it's growing and evolving as you grow and evolve as a person.

Ane: 20:29

yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think you put your, It's good that you kind of made it these two. Cause you're right. It's these two different types of. Collaborative energy that's playing out. Right. And I think though the client. Base one, it, you do, yeah, have to have a bit of like an understanding of the outcome you'd want it to be and also the timeframe. And I think that's why it's really important to then have that very transparent conversation. However, when it's just like a go with the flow sort of creative journey, it's. It's that's also fun to it to me for that sort of like very playfulness right where the other one is a little bit more of like work related or outcome driven where the other one's more of like the journey like enjoying the playfulness and so it's just like being yes super super honest with yourself and with the. Person that you collaborate with. And I think like, as you're speaking, I'm like, what, what have we with this podcast? I think for us, it's been mostly a playful thing. Like, we're just like, let's just go with the flow. Let's just enjoy this creative energy and like, see where this goes. And then as we evolve, we're probably going to end up going more into the, the other end. And I think that's also okay. Like for collaborations to swing from one end to the other and just like, and. As I'm speaking and I'm like, and I'm like talking about this, I also think that that's also a way for us to let go of the control, which is what the first thing is that we tend to hold on to, to not collaborate with. Like it's actually building that muscle of like surrender and acceptance rather than the control and the, you know, this intense fear based energy. So I it's beautifully said that you that you mentioned the two different ones because it can go both ways or we can swing from one into the other. And that's also okay. And I think that's the beauty of collaboration and why I like to work with other people because it, it drives that spark of creativity of like new perspectives as well into it like When you're such a lone wolf or you're like, this is the outcome and has to be like this, you're kind of very tunnel vision and you're very like, this is how it is. And we spoke about this before of like, when you're so tunnel vision, you're not letting the universe bring out really cool, magical energies or perspectives or new ways to actually get to that destination and even a more expansive way than you could have imagined. Right. So I think collaboration's that beautiful. The thing is, like, it's learning the detachment, but it's also just learning to, like, be in the energy of, like, creativity and new perspectives and just new energy, rather than, yeah, this one narrowed way.

Stacey: 23:08

Could not have said that any better, just perfect. Exactly. Exactly. Just allow the university to surprise and delight. You detach yourself from the outcome, allow it to gift you something. Rather than you feeling like you need to feel every single space. The music is sometimes in there. This is that miles Davis quote, the music is sometimes is in the spaces between the notes. It's not. You trying to feel every single gap and trying to control and grab and hold onto everything and grasp at it. Allow it to surprise you. And you're right. The more we feed creativity, the more and more it grows. And the more and more we have more ideas to bounce. And one of my clients said just the other day, she's like, oh I just use you for a soundboard. Even though she's very accomplished. She has, you know, a lot of experience, so much business experience, far more qualifications than I do. But just needs that outside perspective. Just needs that person to look at what she's doing and to see it from a really. Bird's eye view and then to, to make suggestions because she's so in it that sometimes it's hard to look outside of that little bubble that she's created for herself.

Ane: 24:27

Oh, 1000%. I, and this is something I, it's funny. Of course we have clients like that because, you know, as a business manager, a lot of the time it really is just like being like, hang out with the CEO and be like, yeah, you know, this like new sort of offering, like this is a new perspective that's coming through for us to like market it or even just like expand in it and. Just exactly that soundboard, that new ways of collaborating of that project is just so much more expansive. And it ends up being, it's like, it brings up that lightness and that innocence and playfulness back in rather than this like really structured, rigid way. So I love that your client said that because I tend to feel like, like that clients. And I think it's beautiful. And I think it's it's really. Important for us to do that. And I think that's why I love to collaborate with people because I also love for people to feel that way, you know?

Stacey: 25:22

Yeah absolutely.

Ane: 25:23

Yep.

Stacey: 25:24

It's it's so beautiful too, when you're working with somebody and they can have that aha moment. And all you're doing is reflecting back to them. So sometimes all your job is you're reflecting back to them. That here here's the mirror, here's all the things. And then it's like, ah, Sometimes clients get this aha moment. And. And when you're in a collaboration, I'd say. Maybe you're on this. The same plane. So you're both reflecting back at each other. Maybe, maybe there's like two mirrors. And maybe that's creating that infinite. You know, when you put two mirrors side by side and then they. They do that infinite thing. Maybe when you're collaborating on a project together. It's creating infinite possibility for you. To continually have your eyes, your senses. You want everything to be open? You want to be. Just open everything to see what might come in for you as you're working on something.

Ane: 26:21

that's really, yeah. That's a beautiful, like visual way of explaining it because. So true. It's so true. It's like, you can't necessarily express it. It's just this feeling. It's a feeling that you get when you collaborate. We are like, it's like this endless possibilities that that could be rather than this, like really structured of like, what, like, I don't know. Like I have to figure this out where it's like, no, there's, there was this, there was this real that I watched once. And then this girl was so beautifully articulated when she's like, when I'm about to grow and expand instead of feeding the fear of. And I don't exactly know the wording, but it has had to be around like I'm stuck or like I like I'm stagnant. She shifts that perspective of like, no, this means I have endless possibilities. And I loved hearing that. And I think collaboration can bring that because sometimes when we're working so by ourselves on this one thing, we can get really easily stuck because. We only have a one brainer and a few perspectives because we're only one person, but when you can collaborate and mirror, like you say, and reflect and, you know, see that endless, you know, hallway of possibilities, it just it just lightens up the, the outcome of what you want, you know?

Stacey: 27:41

Yeah. Depends. If you have split personalities or not in there talking to each other. But. Yeah. If you're cycling around in your own mind and it's going round and round and round Lula, mass wheeling there. Picture this little mouse row running around. If that's just going round and round and round. You're not really going to get anywhere. I you, because you're trying to answer your own thoughts with your own thoughts. And they won't change because they, your own thoughts. So we need that external stimuli of a book or a podcast or a person or something too. You know, Bounce it back and forth.

Ane: 28:17

And I also just want to say that I think once, to me, there's this real openness with collaboration because you're putting a lot of trust in the other person or the project or something to really figure this thing out, right? And I think that's a really beautiful way, especially if you're someone who lacks trust or someone who lacks just trust in yourself or whatever, to just like, Show the universe. You know what? I'm really I'm I'm leaning in to this collaborative state. I'm leaning into this like it's a bit of vulnerability, essentially, to really see what comes out of this. And I do. And I understand it is a very vulnerable state. But I do feel like when you do that You're shifting the narrative in your head and you're affirming that it is safe to trust, it is safe to expand in this way, it is safe to level up and evolve rather than being so closed, closed off which I understand why a lot of people are because we have been hurt, all of us in the past and you don't want to be in that. Again, but collaboration just like opens up your heart and your intuition and your creativity so much more than if you were to try and figure out yourself.

Stacey: 29:28

I wouldn't even say it it's like the step before, because it's like, does collaboration open up the heart or do you open up the hot before you collaborate? Maybe that's what's happening is, is because you've decided in yourself. Okay, I'm going to stop just being the lone Wolf and I'm going to open myself up. To this possibility to something that I don't know what the outcome's going to be. Maybe that that happens first. And then that's why collaborating. Becomes that for you because you've already made the decision air minds, me of how people say people that buy parenting books. Even if they never read them. The ones who become better parents, just because they're the ones who have the intention to get the book. Even though they never read the books. They have the intent to say I'm wanting to become a good parent. So they carry that intention with them. So if you just carry that intention around with you, even if you're not collaborating. That it's it's this. It's your body becomes imbued with that. That that, that ethos, I would say.

Ane: 30:33

no, that's, that's true. I think yeah, it's definitely an intertwine, you know, I do, I do think you're right. Like, you do obviously have to have more of an open perspective before you just start collaborate. Of course, you can't just be like, you know, close minded and then like try to, it's just not going to work. But sometimes when you already, once you have that collaborative state, we could possibly go back into old ways, but it's like staying open to that and staying open to the evolution of it is where that intertwining can happen. And you're right, actually, intentionality is everything. So, of course, like, even if you don't ever read that book or whatever, like, the fact that you had the intention of becoming a better person or collateral or whatever it just shifts the energy, you know, it really does. Will give you the better outcome than what you would've expected anyways if you're open to receiving that.

Stacey: 31:29

I think my collaborative journey has been so special and there's been some really, really tough times, but I think the more and more you do it. The more and more, we get to a point where we really understand what it is we're trying to create what it is. We're trying that, the ways that we're trying to exist. With this ethos. And if we have that ethos of trying to become. This open-minded. Open eyes, open ears person. Then maybe if we go into it with that, rather than all somebody told me, I should just collaborate with people because I'm going to become more successful. Maybe that's when you're like, you're saying like that's when you come back and go, no, I'm not going to do it. It didn't work. I tried it didn't work. But it's because it, maybe they're going in it with the wrong. Ethos in the beginning. For the outcome of success. But you go into it, not with the outcome of success, but the outcome of just being eyes open is open.

Ane: 32:26

And I think that's where that deta, that's where detachment is really important because perhaps those people, you know, and same here, like my collaborative journey has changed a lot and. I did go from one end to the other of like, not, not doing that again. That was blah, blah, blah. But it is a bit of a healing journey. And once you can accept that you do work on that detachment of like, actually this intuitively feels really good for my body and for my growth. And so, let's do this and detaching yourself of how you really want this to the outcome to be. And I think this comes back to, you know, That's why it's really important to have a relationship with your intuition and your body and your body's yes and your body's no because sometimes logically it can be like this is going to be the best way to expand but intuitively that gut feeling is like I don't you know that's what we have to really. address with and I think even speaking from last week's episode of slow work. I also think slow decision making is just as important. Like you don't have to urgently make a decision, like, you know, or be like, Even if someone came up to me and was like, you have 24 hours to decide if we're going to collab together, that's instantly going to be like, I'm not even going to entertain that because I need time. I need time to sit with it. I need, you know, and I'm not saying give me months or whatever, but even, you know, I don't think this urgency thing of like, have to just get things done all the time. And like, you know, I think that's a, okay. It, it kind of burns the flame really quickly, and I don't think that's something that is, necessary for us.

Stacey: 34:04

Yeah, it does. And. When we recognize our priorities and we work methodically through each stage and we have a good plan. It feels so much more. Or it feels less stressful because, ah, okay. We're working methodically through and we can be creative within those containers. And we can move around in those containers, like water in the container. And. that kind of, oh, we've got to get it. We've got to get it done. We've got to get it done. We've got to get it done. Really does not help a creative project or any project. To have the best outcome that, you know can we, can we get this done? Kemi, Kemi? Can we, ah, you're looking at it with the wrong perspective there. I think. The, the fact that we have deadlines or the fact that we think. These are the most important things in the world. I think the more important thing, rather than the deadline. Is to. Have that container on the project of any intention of. This I'm trying to create something great. I'm trying to create something of value. Not. And if you're in a survival mode and you're trying to create from that place, it's a little bit different, but. If you have the time and space and you're trying to create something. That's new in the world trying to create something. That hasn't existed before. Then that's the perspective that you come at this from? I believe.

Ane: 35:34

100%. percent intentionality is everything. So, couldn't, couldn't agree more. So question for you, how does it work collaborating with affiliates. Tell us the process of that.

Stacey: 35:47

Okay, so this is something that's new for me in the technology side. It's something that I've done in my business before. Like if, if a client would refer somebody, I'd be like, here's$300 credit or whatever it was. I now I have this new like technical system set up. So for people, if, for them to share my work, they get a commission based on that work. So they get all get a unique link. And I think this is a really great way to collaborate in a, this is a really specific example because. This just shows you, okay. This is how somebody can support your work. They can get paid and then all the stipulations are there. There's no real. Having to work out the project because everything is stipulated. So it's like, Hey, this is my program. This is. What's going to happen. These are all the graphics. This is all the texts. You can share this with your community and then. That's a really great way that I've, I've seen a lot of like a bigger creators do stuff like this, where they're promoting other products. And affiliate marketing is very big, I think in lots of different circles, but a lot of people also don't know about it. So it's a really good way to bring in extra money for your business. And it's a way that you can really collaborate with the networks that you ordered that already exist to you. So sometimes we kind of brush off all the people that we know, and we just think. I have to have my own. You know, product and I have to sell my own product. Maybe other people could be who are rooting for you. Who are somebody, some people in your networks could be sharing that product for you. And then they could get pay commissions based on if anyone buys the product through their links.

Ane: 37:35

I love that. I think like what you mentioned, I think, especially if you've networked or you've been in the industry for quite a while and you have a really good return and, you know, clientele or experiences as well, or like just in general projects. it seems like it's kind of like you're just letting the ripples ripple like I've mentioned before, but like truly though, and in a marketing sort of tactic way. And I've, I've personally also have heard that people don't like affiliates or like the affiliate marketing, but I just think it's because maybe they didn't like it or have a good experience or, you know, they may just think that it's too like. Tactic to sell it salesy, which if you've done right and you integral, and you have a really beautiful clientele from previous experiences of, you know, I don't think affiliate, I think affiliate marketing is, like I said, it's a really beautiful way to get that return of investment from, you know, experiences. And I, and it doesn't have to be this very, cause affiliate to me just seems, I think it's really big in America, right? Because it seems like anyone that I have. Bought from online in America or whatever. They always have some sort of affiliate strategy or, you know, whatever, like outcome. But if it's done in a really integral and beautiful way, I don't, I think that's actually a really, really smart way of. of, of getting those like minded more like minded people into your business or into your just community in, in your, you know So that's really cool. And I'm glad you explained how it works.

Stacey: 39:09

And as long as we have a great product and as long as it's helping people. I think people having this block about selling usually comes from some sort of time where they got burned. They had a bad experience. Because a lot of clients have this problem. They get burned and then they don't want to do it anymore. But. If we're looking at it from that lens of we're sharing our friends, like wouldn't we want our friends to be successful. Wouldn't we

Ane: 39:36

Yeah.

Stacey: 39:37

share their work, say they were selling. So pad a market. Wouldn't we want to buy those gifts for us and to give away and we want to share and support our friends. So I think it's a great way to do it too, because you've, you've got a better reach then. And we always listen to. What other people recommend for us to, so in terms of like psychology, that's great because we're going to listen to our peers for recommendations on what to buy it because they've had direct experiences and they can vouch and say, well, that was really good. And then I go here. I know it's going to be good.

Ane: 40:13

It's you're already selling, but you're already bringing up that conversation to people that are interested on that topic. Like, of course, you're not going to be, you know, Trying to sell your product to something that's a polar opposite to that market. So you're right. It is, it is a great way to just get more reach and get more people interested in your product and building that commutative support and, and energy. So no, it's great. I think that's. It's a, it's a really good way of doing it. And I think it just comes with, and this is the beauty of business, like as you evolve and as you grow and as you collaborate, there's going to be another level that you can like, kind of get to the edge of, or like get to that stretch. And that could be that, that could be the affiliate list or whatever. And I think it's just, that's the, it's always just like stretching your capacity just a little bit, just a little bit, just to get to that evolution. And I think it seems like for you, that's your sort of. Set up now. So that's really, really cool to hear.

Stacey: 41:10

Hopefully that was helpful. Yeah, that's all I have to share really on that.

Ane: 41:14

And actually on that topic, just quickly when we're talking about reaching the, the people that actually would want are interested on that topic. I actually just also on my Instagram mentioned that I have a Facebook group for all things sort of automation, systemization, strategy, and platforms. And the reason is because We love Google, we all do, but it's very broad, the data that comes out. And I've noticed that I had a lot of interest in my DMS of using specific systems or strategy, or even processes for your backend of your business that. Is actually suitable for your business and not just for everyone. And so if you want to join us a free Facebook group we'll leave the Lincoln and the show notes just because it, if you are the side of the business, it doesn't even matter where you are, but you're just like ready to uplevel your back end of your business. They come join the community because it's all things just like supporting one another. Even if you're like, Hey guys, is this X, Y, and Z platform good for X, Y, and Z. Like, it's just a really good way to start. Conversations and not just rely on Google constantly for the reviews, because like I said, the reviews aren't going to be people from that are for your niche or for your product.

Stacey: 42:30

And we get so much more fulfillment when we have the community around up is to says, because we have people in there they're supporting us. They're encouraging us. And we really, really need that. Constantly. We need somebody to keep reflecting back to us. You know, how things going? What are you using and having that little community. Was really, really key. I remember when I first started. That's the first thing I ever did for my business was to buy. Course, and then get inside the community. And I knew, I just knew that I needed to learn from somebody who knew what they were doing. And I just, And I asked my parents for like, I borrowed like half the price, half the money for the course. And then I bought it and then yeah.

Ane: 43:14

I love that. And we're very lucky me and you because a lot of the systemizing things we can kind of ask each other, Hey, is this good? Is this not like, and we can kind of help each other and lean into each other for that support. But a lot of people don't have that. And so like, it's really cool to have these, yeah, communities, these groups where you can get that, that support. So yeah.

Stacey: 43:34

So it's called community hub. Like if somebody searches on Facebook, what are they typing?

Ane: 43:39

Yeah, I just called it a community hub. Back end community hub. I'm pretty sure that's what I called it.

Stacey: 43:45

It's like purple and yeah. Cause somebody might just want to type it in.

Ane: 43:50

Just put in backend. So backend, one word, community hub, and it should come up. I don't know if I'll stay with that title for now, but, it's for now

Stacey: 43:59

everything everything's always ever evolving. Don't feel like you have to stay stuck to one thing. You can change things later. If you feel called. Okay, we'll wrap up the episode there. I hope that that was useful for you. If you have any other questions about collaborating or working with people and you want to ask us I'm barefoot branding on Instagram and Anais is an ADA. Management. And our links are in the show notes. So if you want to ask us a question DMS there. And yeah. Thanks for listening.

Ane: 44:31

Amazing. Thanks for listening guys. And yeah, if you have any questions on collaboration or anything, then let us know send us a DM. We'd love to hear from you guys. And yeah, see you guys next time. Bye. bye