How vulnerable should you be in your business?

Us human folk often crave comfort.

You know the ice cream and comfy couch while we watch our favourite movie. There’s nothing wrong with that don’t get us wrong, only if we’re doing it to avoid doing the things that are on our priority list 

But the problem is that we don't allow ourselves to feel uncomfortable emotions in a healthy way. Instead, we let them fester, and they manifest in unproductive or destructive behaviours.

This is why authenticity and vulnerability in business are so crucial. When we're not honest about our capabilities, we create unrealistic expectations for ourselves and our clients. This dishonesty not only puts unnecessary pressure on us but also undermines trust. 

It may feel vulnerable to admit our limitations, but it sets a realistic foundation for the relationship. It also provides an opportunity for growth—learning new skills intentionally rather than out of fear of being exposed as inadequate.

By embracing vulnerability, we foster genuine connections. When we hide behind facades, we prevent true understanding and collaboration.

In the digital age, where social media often pressures us to present a perfect image, it's important to remember that showing our human side can be powerful. It filters out those who don't resonate with us and strengthens our connection with those who do.

You can find Ané and Stacey on Instagram at:

Stacey - @barefootbranding
✦ instagram.com/barefootbranding
🌐 barefootbranding.academy

Ané - @mgmnt__
✦ https://www.instagram.com/mgmnt__/
https://msha.ke/anemgmnt

Visit us here: 🌐 trustingtheuniverseandshit.com
Email us: 📩 hello@trustingtheuniverseandshit.com

Intro music by Tyler Dixon

Transcript

Ané: 0:05

people shouldn't be scared to lose followers or scared to share something that irks them because of how you are going to be perceived.

Stacey: 0:14

So you said it in the exact way. It was meant to be said. We must allow ourselves to make mistakes, to fuck up to to step in shit.

Ané: 0:47

Hello everyone. And welcome to another episode of trusting the universe and shit. It's of course with Stacey and I,

Stacey: 0:53

Hello.

Ané: 0:55

and today we're going to talk a little bit about. It's. It's. Transparency and the online world and, you know, running a business from very transparent, vulnerable, even, but authentic place and sharing your voice in a way that's obviously from the heart. And yeah, we wanted to talk about this and how it's. It's very important and how we've kind of lost that in the online space. And also what happened to, you know, what's happened to us before and also what's happened to me this week about sharing my voice and sort of the backlash I got. So Yeah. it's going to be a spicy one, but a very important conversation too. Mm hmm.

Stacey: 1:40

I'm very excited to hear a bit more about what happened to you when you posted. Because this conversation that we're going to have today about vulnerability, I think is a little bit missing in the online space and something I've been thinking about. And we're going to talk about why we feel really vulnerable. And what we should be thinking about in terms of trying to push beyond that and trying to show up and share our truth, share a voice because I do believe that it's really important that we do that, that we share. The things that are happening in our business, the way. That were operating so that we're coming from this place of, you know, authentic. Transparency. And so that the teams that we're working with, or if we have employees, or if we're working with our clients, even that we're just telling them what's what, and it's not. Lies. And it's not made up in order to appear better in order for us to, you know, craft that. That version of ourselves that we want people to see. You know,

Ané: 2:50

Yes, the facade plays a massive role in this. And I too, have seen it and I've done that too. Like, all of us are guilty of it in some way, shape or form. But at the end of the day, it's like, it's not going to be it. A relationship or teamwork in the long run. And I think this is also why we started this podcast because Stace and I, we would have a lot of conversations about the people we work with or like a project that's like so unauthentic. But yeah, I just feel like sometimes we miss that vulnerability piece from the start, it's really hard to then keep that relationship or that conversation or that project going, because. You've missed that big piece, to really connect, really be like, Oh, do we actually gel? Well, do we actually see things the way that we want to do? We actually strength, you know, your weaknesses is my strength and vice versa. Like, do we gel really well together in that sense? And if not, Then is it going to be a long term thing? So Yeah. I, I just, I feel like we really do miss it and very much guilty of it from the start as well. But it's something that we're constantly coming back to and coming back to sharing our truth from a very loving place, from the heart space, you know, I think there's this, there's this, Like way that we see people share so vulnerably and they're like crying online and they're like having a whole and like, nothing's wrong with that, but I get it. Like that doesn't look regulated. And so then people like, Oh, that doesn't look professional enough or whatever, but it's like, no, you can share from a very vulnerable state and still be in your power, you know?

Stacey: 4:30

Yeah. And I'm not saying you have to cry online in order to be vulnerable because sometimes clients have said to me, look, I share so much online. Like, do I need to share more? I'm not necessarily saying, you know, we always need to share really vulnerable moments online because you can only share what you feel safe to share. But I do think, especially when we're working in projects and we're working in teams or working in. A situation where we're trying to get something done with somebody. That sometimes we hold that back and we hold the truth back of what's really going on. And, you know, for example, like a client, my. might say to me, this happened to me, you know, when I was very, very first starting out. I said, oh, could you just do me a 3d, like a model? Mock-up of, of this, like it was a Wolf, like a new Wolf that was being built. And I was like, yeah, of course I can do that. I could not do that. Like. Yeah, absolutely. I can do that. And that was a part of me not sharing, saying to the person, the client. Actually that's really not within my capability. And not being honest about it. So me trying to like crop this image of myself, of being like, yeah, absolutely. I could do that, but also trying to get the client. I ended up learning how to use Google SketchUp. How to 3d model just for this one project. To 3d model a Wolf, which just ridiculous. Ridiculous, honestly. And. I think parts of us say to ourselves, well, I can't show that I'm not capable. I I'm afraid that they're going to see that I'm not capable. If I say no, actually that's not within my capabilities. I don't know how to do that. And that's vulnerable for us to share because. We think, oh, they going to perceive us a certain way that we're not capable. And then I didn't really want that. So I'm just going to agree to it, even though I don't know how to do it. And then I'm going to. Work it out along the way. I'm not saying you can't do that. Sometimes you can work out. If somebody asks you to do something and you want to do it. You want to figure it out? You can, but most of the time, I think it lands you in hot water.

Ané: 6:35

Yeah, definitely. And it's definitely landed me in hot water too. And it's funny because I think that people actually, especially business owners or, you know, successful entrepreneurs that like have played the game for that long. They have noticed that being honest and being like, Hey, listen, I'm very happy to do this and I want to learn this thing, but it is a learning, like, this is something that I'm going to take more time to do. And I'm going to. Get this result for you and nine times out of 10 people want to hear the honest truth that it is going to be a bit of a stretch and they respect that. And in fact, I feel like so many people then want to stay with that person because they're like, wow, they really shared something that was, they could have just ignored it and, you know, pretended that they knew and still got the job done. But at least they're sharing with me and trans, you know, transparently sharing how this is going. You know, where they are on their journey. So I think, and that's something that I've had to come to terms with, especially also having hard conversations with clients. That was one thing that really was hard for me to do, because again, I don't want to rock the boat. I don't want to look like I was a no at all. Right. Or like, I didn't, I just didn't want to like ruffle some feathers, but it wasn't actually ruffling the feathers at all. It was just like a limiting belief of mine of like, you know, In childhood, like not, not making, making sure like everyone in the family is all good. You know, like I was always like the sunshine of the family. So it's like, how, how could I step up and talk about this thing? Not, you know, benefiting me or benefiting the business, but, and so I would just like hold my voice and it's cost me, it's cost me long term clients. It's cost me my self esteem. It's cost me many things that now I see. It actually, it's such a disservice to not speak about, you know, the things that are happening in the business world or in the team that you're helping, you know,

Stacey: 8:34

Yeah. And I see sometimes people like, you know, when you're talking about ruffling feathers, like were really afraid to ruffle feathers because. We don't want people to judge us. We don't want them to look at us a certain way. We want to craft this image. Right. So. We think, okay, well, I'm going to parse this just so, and I'm going to do this just in this certain way, but I think we over craft and we don't allow our truth to come out. So we, we try and, you know, manicure, everything in, everything is just, just so, and it's coming into this perfectionism. Oh, if I just, if I just stay perfect and no one can hurt me, if I'm just. This way people can not come at me. And I just think you're setting yourself up for failure, because if you eventually you'll start to grow to a point where this will happen, regardless of what you say, it does not matter. Somebody's going to disagree with you. And if you're trying to appeal to everybody, you're really appealing to nobody. And I remember I was on a plane once and I was making a presentation and I had that court up on my laptop. Like if you're appealing to everybody, you're appealing to nobody. And the flight attendant was walking past and he was like this gay flight attendant. He was like, that is so true.

Ané: 9:51

like preach a girlfriend.

Stacey: 9:52

was like, that so true.

Ané: 9:54

I love that. I love that. And again, like that is actually unintentionally showing your honesty and your transparency through that. Like having like that actually resonates so much. And someone just walked past and was like, Breacher, like I feel that and that is just such a good story because it's, yeah, it's in those moments that you're like, Oh, actually sharing vulnerably is. A benefit.

Stacey: 10:19

Yeah, it's definitely. Of benefit to you in the longterm, because what it's going to do is it's going to filter your audience to the people that are for you and the people that aren't you. And often what's happening. Is people are trying to have everyone, like, I don't want to piss anyone off. But you want to be sort of turning some people off because you want the people that are going to love on your brand. Holla. And follow you more loyally in deeply. Then more people that just sort of, yeah. Vaguely know who you. You want more loyal people? Well, this is a strategy that I believe in any way. That that's what you want. That's a POS. So you want to stop filtering your audience. People are scared of losing subscribers. This is an example. People are scared of losing subscribers because they don't want to say certain things because they think, well, if I do, then I'm going to lose some of my audience. But you want that natural filtering process to occur. So then you can start to. Filter at your audience and stop. Developing the audience and the community that's really there and is so keen on what you do and is resonating deeply with the things that you saying and putting out there.

Ané: 11:31

Mm. Totally. I, I totally, I love that. And it's definitely something that I was guilty in, you know, especially when you're starting off, like you're like, let me just try and get as many followers and get as many like eyes on my like visibility. Right. Like totally, totally get that. And to some extent, of course, but I also know, and we also know people that have, You know, social media accounts, and they've got tens and thousands of subscribers or followers, and there's barely any engagement that is happening. There's barely that deep conversation that is happening because there's all of these, like, if you think about it, like, you know, a room full of thousands of people, like, it's going to be so hard to deeply connect with your people because there's all of this fluff happening. You know, and I think that's such a great example and like, people shouldn't be scared to lose followers or scared to share something that irks them because of how you are going to be perceived. Like, you know, when I, I, it was so random, I was actually trying to log into my laptop on to get into Instagram and somehow divine orchestrated. Yeah. It created a threads account for me, like my management page. So I was like, interesting. And then I had threads already like downloaded when it was a hype on my phone. So I was like, Oh, let me go into it. I was like, cause I couldn't really figure it out on the laptop. If you've Yeah. So I went on my phone and like, I already had like a couple of followers. I was like, Oh, interesting. But you can kind of follow everyone. Like it's a, you know, from your Instagram. So I was like, Oh, cool. So then I like created my first threads also and whatever I was like. Whatever, let's play in it. And then I, one night on Tuesday, I was like, I just, I was seeing a lot of like stories and posts about this one particular thing. And I was like, oh, that really irks me. And I was like, I wonder if it irks anyone else, like if anyone else resonates. And I literally threaded anyone else. Oh, no, I said, it really irks me when people put an X at the end of their sentences. It's giving a bit of passive aggressiveness. Or am I missing the point? Like something along those lines, I said, right. I thought very like, just speaking from that, like just speaking from the heart, whatever, it's no big deal. And oh my gosh, the next morning I woke up with over 90 comments, pretty much roasting me, not gonna lie, like I felt like. Justin Bieber when he was getting roasted, you know, when he had like the roasted thing. Yeah. And Yeah. people did not like, there was a some that was like, I totally agree same here, but 95 percent of the people were like, you are missing the point. It's not about like being a passive aggressive that shows more of you. Like apparently in the UK, it's very common to put an exit sentence and to. I probably should have been more I guess thorough with, by saying this is only for stories or posts or comments because people like, you know, in messages, people do Xs. It's very common in the UK. It's kind of saying like a friendly, like, wow, like see you later kind of situation. So, Yeah. it was like, but in that moment, you know, it was actually the best thing that could have happened because a, I've been Really. Other than on the podcast, really scared of showing my voice and speaking from the truth and just being like very not unhinged, but just sort of like saying how it is for, for my perspective. And B it was like, I don't know any of these people, but at the same time, like I'm okay, I'm not dying. These people aren't going to come and kill me. They're going to move on from it next day or two, like all as well. And so I thank God for that situation to happen because it showed me that. It's so fine to speak an opinion and it's, you know, especially if it's coming from a very intentional place of not trying to hurt someone or, you know, create some sort of, I don't know, riot. It's nothing to do with that. So, that was my little, you know, vulnerable share and yeah,

Stacey: 15:32

So, what, what do you think was your big takeaway from this situation that you're going to bring into your business? Moving forward?

Ané: 15:40

Oh, my gosh. That well, I will say though, just Full honesty to think twice, maybe because I probably would have written it a little bit differently. So that's one thing I will say. But the second thing is I bet you, no one will care and 48 hours. So it is so fine to say it how it is. And I also think it was such a blessing because. Yeah. Like I said, it wasn't this perfect thing that was written. So Yeah. I guess my key takeaway was just that like, you can speak your truth and it's fine. You know, as long as it's not as intentional of coming from the heart, it's not something that's going to hurt someone.

Stacey: 16:21

Yep. And we also can't protect people when we're sharing online. Right? So if people are going to be hurt, they're going to be hurt. And there's nothing we can do to prevent that because sometimes the things that we say can trigger people. And even though we had our intentionality, we were intentional about not doing that. Sometimes it can because there are cultural differences. You know, different countries, social media is going across these boundaries of culture. And things can really often be read in the wrong way. And. Sometimes there's nothing that we can do. And so I feel like what we're like having, what we have to learn is how to regulate ourselves in that moment, because I know their feeling of when you share something and like, it gets like 400 shares or something and people start DM-ing you. I had a situation once where. Someone was DM-ing me. I was sharing something about Australia. Like on like invasion day and he, somebody was like abusing me in the comments about like, where do you expect me to go? Where do you want me to, do you want me to leave this country? This is my country. And I was like, that's not what I said at all, but you feel this. Rising because someone's like attacking you in your dams and you go. And

Ané: 17:43

Yeah.

Stacey: 17:44

I just lost out of laughing. Then I was in the city and. I started laughing because I thought, wow, the price did so well. I'm getting hate mail.

Ané: 17:52

Literally like any publicity is good publicity. Let's just, let's just say that. Yeah.

Stacey: 17:59

Yeah, like that's going to help the algorithm. Like the more that people in in the morning. Save and message about it. It's going to help the algorithm. And I know some people do this on purpose. They rage, baiting people. Into having fights in the comments. So just be aware of that too. Like people sometimes, sometimes. I just think people have so much time on their hands. And I honestly don't know where they find it. I'm like, I do not have time to do that. I know where they get it.

Ané: 18:30

No. Yeah. Totally. I, and this is why I was being very like not preachy, but saying that, like, I, it. wasn't intentional because I don't like those type of people because now you're just, you're adding fuel to the fire. You know what I mean? And it's so funny that you said, like, you felt that like rage as well, or not the rage, but like some other heightened emotion, like same and actually So. funny that you also started laughing because I also started laughing being like, I'm literally getting roasted right now. Like, it's actually hilarious. Like, I may as well be a celebrity because I'm Justin Bieber right now. Like, literally it's like, but I never thought that was going to be my response. I thought if I ever got some hate mail, I thought about ever got like, ruffled some feathers, I would be like in a ball crying, like, you know, just so upset. But I wasn't, I wasn't because I knew it's not that deep. And I think that is the difference here. And if it's from, whereas if you, Yeah. from intentional place of trying to create rage, of course you're going to be enraged because now you feel that fire and you probably get off on it a little bit, you know, like the, the inner saboteur, like, Oh, like, yes, let's, let me just binge watch TV for like hours and like, see how much of a, you know, disappointment are you like, whatever. It's like a similar sort of energy, but we're not talking about those people. We're talking about speaking our truth and being okay, not being understood or perceived the way that you want it to be perceived. And kind of having a bit of a laugh on it because Yeah. it's, it's really not. That date

Stacey: 20:06

Yeah. It's not that serious. And I also think it's about allowing us to be human and to make mistakes. Because often we're really, we're trying to mitigate and minimize everything. No, no, don't do this. Don't go there. Don't say this. Say this a certain way. You know how you were saying, oh, maybe I could have said it a different way. But then you wouldn't have had the lesson that you had, and it wouldn't have come out the way you did. So you said it in the exact way. It was meant to be said. So it's like, We must allow ourselves to make mistakes, to fuck up to to step in shit.

Ané: 20:45

Mm.

Stacey: 20:45

And to go, oh, I wonder what this mud means. What does that. What does that, what's that about?

Ané: 20:51

one is if it's gonna smell or not. Yeah. Yeah.

Stacey: 20:54

Yeah. Ooh, like what can I take away from this? so. There's so much in learning in there when we, when we do it. And when we do step right in it, we step in the mud and we go, oh, okay. I wonder this is about. So we learned so much about ourselves and women trying to prevent that all the time. I feel like that's where the stagnation stuckness comes from because we're not allowing ourselves to do anything out of ear. And we need to look at that fear and then. You know, like you were saying, you, you thought maybe it'd be cold up in a bowl, like, but actually that's not what happened. And we're hypothetically imagining a scenario that may not even happen about what may happen if you said such and such a thing. So. I don't know if anyone here follows Tori Dunlap. She has a podcast and her Instagram account is called her first 100 K. She's got like the top finance podcast. In the world, I think. And yesterday she posted a picture of her on Instagram and she was like in her bikini and the caption read something like make your money by living rent free and men's heads. And it's obviously a joke. But everybody thought she meant. She made her money on only fans. And everyone was messaging her saying. This is so off-brand, how could you, we're here for finance advice? How could you share this? And she lost 20,000 followers in the space of a couple of hours. And yeah. And. I was so shocked. Because one thing that she did mention was that, oh, that someone in the comments mentioned was that they wouldn't say that if she was like really skinny, really, you know, Modelesque.

Ané: 22:43

Yeah. Yeah.

Stacey: 22:44

People don't say that on those pictures, people follow those pictures.

Ané: 22:49

Yeah. And they like it. And they say, Ooh, so hot. And like, yes, queen.

Stacey: 22:53

Yeah. And I feel like she's bringing, you know, cause her, her whole thing is financial feminism. I feel like she's showing that in her actions that, and allowing herself to exist and be confident in the way that she shows up and is demonstrating what can, yeah, I think. There was a lot of like internalized misogyny in the comment section. And I was just so shocked about that whole thing, because. I think people think, yeah, I'm a feminist, like I'm for women, but. They're Hm.

Ané: 23:28

Yeah. It's like this morally, values are conflicted, and you're going to get two different types of people. Like that's just, or many different types of people in the world. And that's just how it is. Right. So, but then where, where it's lacking. The openness is people then will Lower themselves so much and comment things like that when, if it's not for them, it's not for them, move on, like, move on, and that's what, that's what baffles me too, and this is what we're kind of saying about the rage comments things, why put yourself in those energy, if it's not resonating with you, move on from it, like, it's not a big deal, you know what I mean, you don't have to like, have this little, you know, Hissy fear and like tantrum and comment your opinions and unfollow and say your peace of mind when you could be like, Ooh, I may not agree with this. I'm going to move on from it. You know, for all the gazillion other things that she's done, that's great. Like, it's not going to be now, you know, like I just, that's because we're human beings are complex. Like we're complicated. Beings we have opinions. We change them. We whatever. So, Yeah. it does. It does baffle me that she unfortunately went down that route when all she wanted to do was, you know, tell a joke, share some, you know, women like empowerment. And unfortunately, it went the other way. But Yeah. you know, any publicity is good publicity, I guess. But still, Yeah.

Stacey: 24:56

Yeah. And one thing I noticed was people in the comments were saying, I'm going to follow you harder. I'm going to love you more now. So. Yeah, it cleaned out some people, which I ultimately think is a good thing because you've cleaned out people that honestly, Probably not going to buy from me. And they probably not going to love the brand that much. They probably just stalking, you know, And then she she's developed this relationship even deeper with people. And one other thing that I think that she said was very funny was she said, oh, these people were announcing, you know, I'm leaving this page a month following you. She's like, this is not an airport. You don't need to announce your departure.

Ané: 25:36

Stop it. Obsessed. like, I'm waiting for you to get on the plane, please, but you don't

Stacey: 25:42

go, she was like, go, yeah, you don't have to say. And I think that's so funny and you'll write because why we, why people so addicted to the anger, they love it. Right. like looking for a fight because are they looking for that emotion? Do they need, are they. Is there like a, are they comforted by that emotion in some way, they're addicted to that feeling. Maybe the rage, you know, sometimes like you'll raging and it gets you to take action on stuff.

Ané: 26:08

Yes. No, totally.

Stacey: 26:10

Yeah. Is there something going on there where people are addicted and you know, if you're listening to this, do you do this in your own life? Is there somewhere where you're raging, but it's getting you to take an action. And sometimes I know this very well in myself when I'm raging on something. But sometimes it's, it's just so that I can send that email so that I can make that phone call because I'm in a rage and it helps me to do it because when I'm in a depressed state, Nothing will from that state. So sometimes it's there to help you. But just don't stay there. Just don't stay there for that long. And just get it, get you up off the couch, but then, okay. Now change my state and then I can start laughing about it.

Ané: 26:50

Totally. Yes. And I think this is why, like, Embodiment practices are so important and we talk about this all the time, like, when you're feeling rage, and I think this is, there's so many ways I want to go about this, but essentially, like, people don't deal with their emotion in a, healthy way, and then it comes and bleeds into things like this. And I think that's the problem, right? Like, You don't go and punch a pillow and feel the rage within your belly and just like have a go for a couple of seconds and then calm your nervous system and then do the action. No, you then do rage comments. You write how many people you're going to unfollow or how shit the world is or how it's burning down or blah, blah, blah. And you make this whole ordeal when all you had to do was just give your body. Like a couple of seconds to just connect with and, you know, deal with the rage and then move on. And this is something that like, I've definitely, and, you know, I've been speaking to a really cool business mentor about this. It's like the only way that we can really move forward authentically and integrally. Is feeling the emotion is moving through it as quick as possible and then taking the action and then you're on the next level like it's as simple as that it's literally that simple but we stay in this like like the stagnancy thing that you're saying we stay in this like loop of like oh yes like You know, it's like your, your mind is always biased. It's like, oh yes, I'm so glad I didn't do that because look how shit it is to do this. Like it's this bias opinion that you've created in your mind about why you're not doing the action or why you're not doing the thing. So I, and we all do it as well. Like I've definitely, especially the start of business, I was definitely in states where I was either Frozen on form state of like not doing the action because see, I told you if I go post that thing, it's going to get all this hate. See, you know, like all of this bias opinions and, and, you know, evidence came through. So I think that that's like very important that we just. And I really had to you know, figure out how to, you know, how to regulate ourselves and then move on. And, you know, I'm currently now doing a challenge for the next like two or three weeks. Like I create a post of saying, you know, if you really knew me, you'd know that. And then I write a little bit of a personal thing, whether that's personal life, whether that's business, whether that's lessons that I've had to learn. And I really had to. Like I wanted to start it on Monday for transparency, but I didn't start until Wednesday because the last two days, like the first two days, Monday, Tuesday, I really had to work on my nervous system to be like, I can hold this. I can hold whatever's coming through when I post this thing about, you know, learning this lesson, you know, I can hold whatever. So I Yeah. I, I really encourage anyone that if you find yourself hard to express your truth or share it vulnerably work on the nervous system first, and then you'll see how it. Leads from the heart space of what you actually want to share and from there, however, however, it's perceived, you know, you can hold yourself in that because it's always been an intentional place. It wasn't from this, I don't know, little inner child that's having a tantrum.

Stacey: 29:55

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know how you're talking about, you know, when you're in that state and what can you do? So It's really good somatic therapy. You know how you mentioned punching pillows. So yeah, you can like pick up a pillar above your head and just like throw it on the ground like 10 times and to move the emotion three and don't allow yourself to stay stuck in the anger. And I think that's what happens to most people. They don't know how to move through the emotion and change their state. So actually learn how to change your state. And go and look up like on YouTube, like state changing or like how to change my state. And you can find the modality that suits you on how to. Push through. Not push through, but move through the emotion. Get and get to a new state and come back to. The way that you are meant to be, which is, you know, at peace. That is our state that we want to keep roommate coming back to that state is the state that we is. It's like, Bull pure love. That is the state that we need to come back to. Because that is our whole being. That is the way. I'm trying to say. Not that it's it's. Like it's meant to be, but it's, that is the altruist state. Our truest state is the state of like pure love and peace, think. And then we just keep coming back there.

Ané: 31:23

Yes. Yeah. But you can't go back there if you're Because the thing is, I think people think, oh, rage or anger, I'm only in it for a couple of minutes and then I'm out of it. It's like, that doesn't, it doesn't work like that. It still stores in the body until you fully release it. You know? Like people are like, oh, okay, I'm over it. You know when people say like, oh, I'm over it now.

Stacey: 31:43

And they're still saying it with anger. I'm over it.

Ané: 31:46

and I do this like totally like, you know, like, oh, just, you know, like, I'm just, I'm letting it go. I'm letting it go. But they're like still angry because it's in their body. It's like, it's not, you know, over it. And then it lingers and then it becomes complacency. And then it becomes passive aggressive. And then it becomes like, It bleeds and like other ways that you're expressing it. because you haven't released it. And I think like, that's, that's the key component here. And Yeah. there's so many ways that you can do it. I know also with your throat, like your throat is sort of the activation point of like, whatever is expressed. So make weird noises, like, you know, breathe through it and hum through it. You know, they say that if you do like a humming or chanting, it like vibrates to it. Vegas nerve. So like, it's really good to calm the nervous system. So there's so many things and Yeah. just YouTube it. And there'll be like so much. We, this is the thing was so abundant with so much resources that it's like, you kind of can't act. that way anymore in this, in this society. Like there is, you know, and don't get us wrong. We, we sometimes we fuck up and we have a tantrum or we, you know, I shout at my partner, I'm rude to a salesperson, but Yeah. I just think that there are So many resources and just Google through it and, you know, you can find You can find the answer within as well. Like, ask your body, how do I want to express this anger? Or how do I want to express this? And can I'm not make it mean anything? Like, can I not try and fix it? Because I know sometimes our minds like, Oh, you can't make that noise. Oh, you can't go. And why? Like, don't try and fix that way that your body wants to express.

Stacey: 33:27

Yeah. So I have a couple of tools and things that you can look to. So you mentioned yeah, the polyvagal theory. So I'm trying to remember his name, but I've. I've completely blanked. But I'll link it in the show notes. Polyvagal theory. You know, things like putting ice packs on your top of your chest. That can be really useful, but there's lots of other things you can do for polyvagal theory. This calming your nervous system down. The emotion code book. Which is really excellent for learning how the emotions store in the body. So I think that they mentioned. I'm not sure if it's this book specifically, but somebody in a book that I was reading once mentioned that emotion only pasta Ceria for 90 seconds or something. And anything longer than that is us telling the story of what's going on and having that, having that story linger, and then eventually emotions can be stored in our body and our brain can forget. And so we may have a lot of trapped. Emotion in the body. That we need to clear. But we don't even know what to say sometimes. And this is why have you ever noticed people go to yoga? And they do hip openers. And sometimes people like I just started crying. And I don't know why she goes, we were holding a lot of stuff now, buddy. And sometimes, you know, people think this, no, no, that's not how it works. Go and read that book because I think. We neglect our body so much. And we just, we're

Ané: 34:54

so intelligent.

Stacey: 34:56

Yeah. So intelligent. And we're just these flighting brains. And we think our brain is just doing everything. We've neglected the other 95% of us. And we just think, no, no. I bought, he's just doing stuff God brain tells us to do, but we've lost that mind, body connection. So we need to come back into our body. Because I have a client, she's a meditation teacher. And she says. An anxious mind can not exist in a relaxed body. And I think she got that quote from somewhere, but it's so true because if your body is relaxed, The anxious thoughts connie exist in that state. They leave you, they go somewhere else. So. Focusing on the body. I think we, you know, we talk about that a bit, but it's good have the weekly reminder.

Ané: 35:42

Yeah, no, but this is the whole point. This is the whole point. We do this right is to constantly come back to our bodies. And, you know, I also feel like once we like, because something that I'm really practicing is speaking from the heart, like, if I'm going to be more open and honest about things and be transparent. And I think that's the key with the transparency part, right? It's like, It's not coming from the mind. It's not coming from the, Oh, I've got to speak about this way or logically, this is what's going to make sense. No, it's always from the heart. Like transparency is that authentic, you know, feelings and emotions and that expression. And it all comes from the heart. And I think as a society, we've missed the heart so much. We forget to connect with that part. And that is like the most, Oh, my gosh, the most Highest state to be in, like we said about before, it's like, it's love and love comes from the heart. And I think, yeah, once we can just start to work on connecting with the body, work on connecting with the heart space, you'll see how like freeing it is to express, because you know, it's coming from a good place, you know, it's not from the mind. It's not from trying to, Yeah. logically makes sense. If that makes sense.

Stacey: 36:55

Yeah, so we descend to the heart and it's almost like we reregulate every day we come back to that true being. And then we, we, we come and we project out all of our. You know, Our thoughts and our teachings. And then, you know, when, when we get that. You know, bounce back from people. We reregulate and we learn and we go, And then as we grow, we can handle more and our container grows and then we get, we can share bigger things. And then as that container grows, we'll probably get more flack for things. But it's okay because you've learned to hold it all. And then you keep growing and it's, so it's not as if you, you know, this is why you need to grow things slowly. And we don't go from zero to a hundred thousand followers in one go because our nervous system couldn't handle that frequency. It would just be. It would just, you, you would mountain to a puddle would be too much to handle.

Ané: 37:53

Yeah. and I think also when you, when you come from the, from the heart, what you express from the heart, you'll see how you start to attract people from the heart. You start to have clients that are like full in and they're so effortless to work with and they're so, you know, abundant and their mindset and how they, how they, you know, express in the world and you start to attract those type of people. So like, I think that's the key element and like. Yeah. I, I just, I, if you're in that sense of like, Oh, you know, I really want to start attracting new people. I really want to repel the people that isn't for me anymore that, you know, took advantage and didn't listen to my boundaries and blah, blah, blah, blah, then start connecting to the heart, expressing from the heart, learn from what you, you know, get back feedback and then just do that over and over and grow and grow and grow. And you'll see. Six months, a year, six years from now, how much you've shifted your reality.

Stacey: 38:51

Yup. Absolutely. Yup. Couldn't say anything more. I think, I think that's really. The perfect bow on the episode. Yeah,

Ané: 39:01

I also, yeah, I also love that we're both in our little purple robes and hoodies, by the way, guys. Like, I just, it's so. on brand and we didn't even mean to, but that just

Stacey: 39:11

Yeah, we did. We rock up to the coal and I was like, can I wear my hoodie today? He's like, yeah.

Ané: 39:17

It's so good.

Stacey: 39:18

but yeah, if you're listening on audio only, you can just like picture us being comfy. And we were talking about that because, you know, we're talking about showing up authentically, like, this is how I work most of the day in winter, you know, this exactly how I work. And so I think, okay, well, if I can show up like this, then that feels authentic to me. And yeah, like some people are going to say, that's not professional. But who cares? You know, Yeah.

Ané: 39:45

Literally, Yeah. like that's your opinion and that's cool, whatever, you can work with someone in a full suit and, you know, whole situation, but that's not, if we wanted to speak from the heart and speak like with our besties and be very vulnerable and honest, we have to be in fluffiness. Like, that's just, that's just how it goes for us. Like, we cannot be uncomfortable. I'm not going to be wearing a tight skirt and a tight top and be telling you my biggest, darkest secrets. Like, it's not going to happen.

Stacey: 40:13

Yeah. exactly. I need to be in my fluffiness. I love that. I think we should add the much. to be in my fluffiness.

Ané: 40:21

Which, you know, that was a real hard, um, hard, soft launch. I would say, you guys, that's for coming very soon. We are, yeah, in the, in the works for that. So keep

Stacey: 40:32

Yes. we are. Absolutely.

Ané: 40:35

Amazing. All right. Thank you guys for listening as always. You can connect with us. All the links are in the show notes. It would be so amazing. And it helps us so, so much to get a review from you guys. It Yeah. Share this. You know, these episodes with your besties, anyone that you think will benefit from it. Share our social media as well. We always love to connect with people, especially people from the heart space. And we, yeah, it, it really helps us. And the ripples are definitely rippling you guys. We've got some new people that are keen to get on. So thank you for that. And yeah, keep, keep sharing us. It would be much appreciated.

Stacey: 41:17

Yes so much. Appreciate it. If you could just take, you know, a few minutes out of your day and to just leave us some kind words, if this show has helped you at all, because we really would love to hear from you. So please do that. Or you can send us an hello@trustingtheuniverseandshit.com. That's also our website. So you can also contact us there. Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you on the next episode.

Ané: 41:42

Bye.