Embrace Your Shadows: Light, Dark, and Everything in Between

You’re tuning into an episode all about embracing the light and shadow within.

Stacey and Ané chat about the beauty of balancing both sides, from celebrating life’s highs and lows to facing our shadow sides head-on. They dive into the deep stuff—like why our childhood beliefs shape our triggers, how our subconscious drives our behaviour, and how embracing our dark feminine and masculine can transform us.

Are you feeling misunderstood? Struggling with control? We cover how acknowledging these feelings can be a game-changer. Shadowwork, tapping (EFT), and even a little Halloween vibe make this episode a down-to-earth exploration of spiritual growth.

You can find Ané and Stacey on Instagram at:

Stacey - @barefootbranding
✦ instagram.com/barefootbranding
🌐 barefootbranding.academy

Ané - @mgmnt__
✦ https://www.instagram.com/mgmnt__/
https://msha.ke/anemgmnt

Visit us here: 🌐 trustingtheuniverseandshit.com
Email us: 📩 hello@trustingtheuniverseandshit.com

Intro music by Tyler Dixon

Transcript

Stacey: 0:04

This is how you gain real control is to gain control of the things that you think. The things that you feel that belief systems, the subconscious, the layer beneath.

Ané: 0:16

if you want to embrace the light, you have to embrace the shadow

Stacey: 0:47

Hello everyone. And welcome back to another episode of trusting the universe and shit. I'm here with my beautiful cohost. N a, of course.

Ané: 0:56

Bye guys!

Stacey: 0:57

And we're so happy to have you here. And today we're going to be talking. A little bit about the shadow aspects of ourselves that maybe sometimes we ignore, we don't want to look at and what some of them look like. How they can manifest and how we've been feeling this week as well.

Ané: 1:16

Because it's also Halloween, it's the 31st of October. So we thought why not bring a bit of that spooky ooky energy into this episode? It's probably going to be way later than October, but when it gets released, but Yeah. it's the perfect time to talk about the shadows, what it is, what we've been experiencing this week, as you said, and yeah.

Stacey: 1:40

Yeah. And I'm so drawn to Halloween. I love Buffy the TV show. I love vampires. I love zombies. I just love old spooky things. Like we set up a smoke machine in the front. Of the house today and I hung some bats in the front. And they have like these glittery red eyes and we've got all these like colorful lights and things. And I just think it's so fun. Like the whole. The aspect of, of kind of death ritual. I don't know if that's. You know, necessarily the way everyone would look at it, like a death ritual, like, you know, the day of the dead and. Rituals that appreciate and celebrate death in a way. And I think that. It's it can be looked upon as something positive and not just something that we need to. You know, be positive, positive, positive all the time. And you know, only look towards the light and embracing the all parts of ourselves, the light and the dark, the yin and yang.

Ané: 2:40

Yeah. I actually love that you brought up the celebration part because only recently I was speaking to a friend about this of like, when we always celebrate about the, like you said, the light aspects, right? We celebrate when someone buys a house, celebrate when someone gets married, we celebrate when someone's having a baby, like all of these beautiful, which are so beautiful, but why not celebrate a divorce? Why not celebrate? Selling your house, why not celebrate a death because you know they were dealing with cancer or something really horrible for the last 10 years and now finally their soul is incarnating into another and into a beautiful ether that is ready to incarnate into another lifetime. Like I love that you mentioned that because I feel like once we take this taboo like ideation of you know, death and how scary it is. I think we would just live more enlightened, you know what I mean?

Stacey: 3:33

Yeah, I do. I think that once we can embrace the wholeness of all of the emotions that we experience, that anxiety, the fear, the The feelings of imposter syndrome, the feelings of fear that we experience, I feel like the more we can embrace those parts of ourselves, the more we can forgive, the more we can. Not push it away because I think we tend to ignore it and push it away and we push it away. And. Today. I woke up feeling very agitated and I was just ignoring it, ignoring it. Ignoring it and. Our only when I started to. Listen to what was really happening when I started to going, okay, what's really going on here. Talking about it. Moving my body. You know, we set up all this Halloween stuff and. Only then did I start feeling a little better? Because you know, I ignored it all day and it just compounds.

Ané: 4:29

Love that you said that. Yes, it does compound. It's so interesting. I mean, it's like that quote, it's something, something along the lines of like, if you want to embrace the light, you have to embrace the shadow. Like it's exactly that I too have felt so irritated this week. It's just so moody and like snappy. And, but I tell my friends, I tell people around me, Hey, listen, I'm a bit moody, a bit snappy. It's actually nothing personal on you. And I like to. Tell that because I'm just setting my shadow show right now. And I think the quicker that we can just acknowledge that obviously there's a fine line. Yeah. like you can't be a bitch and then think your friends are going to be there for you. Like there's a fine line. But But just acknowledging that, it softens instantly. And so I'm glad that you also took a minute, you softened, softened into it, you acknowledged it and you just, it's still there. It can still linger there, but now you've not ignored it and let it fester because that part, that's when it can come quite detriment to the people around you.

Stacey: 5:29

Yeah. The festering. It can become so toxic and it can gurgle inside you like the cold urine inside. He was bubbling and bubbling and bubbling, and then eventually it comes out on the people around you. And you don't really want that. Like you said, you don't want that to come out in your friends and family. Oh, your pot now because. It has nothing to do with him. Generally speaking, it's coming from within you. And it's not something that, that they've necessarily done, even though you've probably said yourself, it's because they did this and they did this, but ultimately our feelings come from within. Within our insides, they don't come from external. Situations we tell ourselves that they do. But it's only because of what we determine those things mean that we interpret it and we say to ourselves, oh, this is why I feel this way. Therefore, I should hate this external thing. But. The only way that we can really control anything. Mr. Weight is to control the way we feel. We can not control everything external in our lives. And when we try to eat, usually ends very badly.

Ané: 6:35

Yes, the control thing. It's such a, it's such a simple reminder, but we all love to be control. And that's a part of the shadow that doesn't matter. Like if you think of the most free spirited person, we all love a little bit of like wanting to let things be your way and having that control factor. And I tried to look out because I'm like, don't lose the thought, but I genuinely lost the thought because I have no idea what that was. It's hilarious. Sorry, let me just I literally lost my thought. Yeah. the control factor is such a, it's such a sneaky way of your shadow coming out. But the quicker you can just acknowledge that, the quicker you're like, okay, that's fine. Like this week, some, something happened as well in, in business where I couldn't control the outcome. Like, you know, there's some things you can't control, but what I can control is my reaction. What I can control is whether I want to be proactive on this or reactive. And I took a couple of deep breaths and I was very I was very happy that I was able to control how I wanted to react. Like you say, you know, you can control how you feel in your emotions because even though it might sting for some reason, because maybe your story is playing out, you have, you are in the driver's seat in order to be like, is this, really true. Like whatever story is playing out, is this actually true? And if the answer is no, then there you go. You don't have to let that shadow fester.

Stacey: 8:00

Yes. And you know how sometimes when you're getting really triggered by somebody and you're like, she did this and this and this happened and she did this. I had a friend once and I was really angry at somebody for some reason. And I was like, yeah, it was, that was, this happened. And this happened. She goes, okay, we'll write all those things down. Yeah. Okay. So I wrote her name there. Yup. She did this. She did this. I can't remember exactly what it was, but I wrote this list. So I've got, you know, five to 10 things that were triggering me or really annoying me about this person. And my friend said, okay, Are you done? I was like, yep. She's like, okay. Cross that name out and put your name at the top. And I just, ah, I immediately realized that everything that was being triggered in me from this other person, I had something to do. With something inside me, that was not okay with something that I was not accepting within myself. So when we are. Projecting all of those triggers on to other people. It's usually coming from Sweden us is something within us that we are not okay with within ourselves. That we either want in somebody else. They have it, you know, jealousy. Th they have something that we want for ourselves or it's that. There's something that we have not accepted within ourselves and something within ourselves that we really. That we really want for ourselves and don't have it. So we get triggered by the people.

Ané: 9:27

Totally. Ooh. And that's actually a really good shadow like journaling practice really. And it's very simple, right? Like if you're in this sort of spiraling and you're just trying to, You know, let your shadow shine by like projecting cool, write it all down and then put you going. I love that. That's such a good, that's such a really quick way of shifting your mindset and your, and your beliefs about that particular person. Because yeah, like you said, ultimately that's how you're, you're seeing yourself at some degree. And same here, like I remember, like I would. Look at, you know, even on Instagram, like I would follow people, girls that would be very promiscuous and I would always judge them for them for that. But is there a part of me that I actually think it's liberating? And I am bit jealous, or I have a bit of projection coming up because I'm like, I just don't have that dark femme energy to, you know, show that way, you know what I mean? Like, and I had to really work on this shadow for quite a while in order to shift it until one day I realized it's just softened. I had no more, I would look at these videos, photos or whatever, and I had no more need to project any sort of, you know, thing, you know, in my mind about it. I was just like, Oh Yeah. whatever. And I just move on. Like, whereas sometimes it would be like, I would think about it for days and then I would make up these stories that they must be like horrible people. Like, no, no one needs that. Like do some shadow work and move on with your life because I can guarantee you they don't care two shits about it.

Stacey: 11:05

That's so funny and you know, you're walking down the street and say, for example, you see someone in there. I don't know, they're dressed head to toe in. Glitter or they used to be a guy who used to go to one of our local pops. He used to always shop to the pub. Head to toe dressed in, you know, like that Peyton plastic leather. Head to toe. An old. A biker. Guy. And it used to trigger one of our friends, sorry, much. And if we think about it, we go, okay. Why did it trigger our friends so much? Is it because this person is living in so much freedom? Of not caring about what other people think that that's something that. Our friend wonderful himself. But didn't have, you know, And so when, once we start to like reflect it back on ourselves, we use that marrow and we look. We tented around. Then we start to realize, oh, it's within me. Not within that external person.

Ané: 12:01

and it's, you know, I want people, if you do notice you do this, like, please give yourself some grace because you are a human being and having that harsh critic, like you probably have a bit of like this harsh dialogue inside of, you know, X, Y, and Z of why, you know, That thing is that you can't have. So please be gracious to yourself because it's, Yeah. you really have to put your ego aside. You know, you're like, you really have to like, take some accountability and put your ego aside. But the more you do it, the quicker, like any sort of shadow that does come up, it really does just dissolve. Like more into it.

Stacey: 12:41

Yeah. And that agitation that sits inside of you should dissolve too, when you start to work on these things. And it does give you that sense of freedom from. Feeling triggered constantly when you're online and you're scrolling. And I think what ends up happening sometimes is people start feeling really bad about themselves because they've been scrolling and then they don't know why. And they're like, I feel depressed. I feel anxious. I feel shit about myself and I don't know why. And they just become very, very stuck and they go. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know why. But this is why it's, because we haven't made friends with our shadows, those parts of ourselves that we haven't accepted yet.

Ané: 13:21

I remember, and I'm going to butcher this a little bit, but I do remember a coach once telling me, telling me something when my answer would be, I don't know, like whether they like kind of testing my shadow, testing some sort of ego thing. And Whenever we ask ourselves questions and we easily go to, I don't know, and don't get me wrong, like I still do this, like we all do this, still have this. And sometimes you simply do not know that is a moment for growth to happen because that, I don't know, it's such a cop out to yourself. Like it's very much like, Gaslighting yourself or however you feel or whatever the story is to just like not look into that. But that is when you really be like, are you sure you don't know or you don't want to know? That is where that differentiation is. And ever since she told me this, I was like, gosh, that is so true. Like we're so easily would just be like, Oh, I don't know. And just let the ego like habits. You'll have its moment, but the soul always knows, the soul always knows why you are stuck in that cycle, stuck in that judgment, whatever the shadow is playing out and it just takes a bit of courage and a bit of grace to, you know, open that veil And see truly inside what it is that's playing out.

Stacey: 14:33

And that's the thing, too. You bring up the ego. We don't want the ego to be in control of all the decisions that we make. We don't want the eager to be running around. And taking control. And if we go back to what we were talking about earlier about us feeling like we want to be in control. This is how you gain real control is to gain control of the things that you think. The things that you feel that belief systems, the subconscious, the layer beneath. Because most of us are ruled by these patents in our subconscious on a day-to-day basis. And the subconscious will make so many decisions for us and we will really want to be in control. But we are because the subconscious is like driving the wheel. Most of the time.

Ané: 15:16

Mm

Stacey: 15:16

Like we'll say to ourselves, I'm not going to eat that bar chocolate. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. You might last, you know, maybe half an hour or an hour. The next day, maybe even if you, if you struggle and you know, or if you, if you try really hard, but. The subconscious is going to be more powerful than your conscious mind, because your conscious mind can only. Battle with you so much. I think for me anyway, I think that the subconscious has more. Have a driver's seat because things are happening without us even consciously, consciously thinking about it all the time.

Ané: 15:51

Mm. Yeah, so true. So true.

Stacey: 15:54

So we've first identified that you are triggered for one. Then two, we go, okay. I'm triggered. What is causing this trigger? What have I. Decided that this belief, like I believed a certain thing to be true. Therefore I'm triggered. So you just kind of like having a witness, you're just being aware of your mind without judgment. So you'll, you'll becoming an observer. Of your mind. And then. You say to yourself? Okay, well, this is triggering. Feelings of fear and on worthiness inside of me. And then you. Look at it and you accept it. You say, you say to yourself, It's okay. I'm going to accept this without judgment. Sorry. Okay, I've accepted it. And then you can look at it without feeling really. Like pressurize. You can just look at it in a curious way, like, oh, I'm triggered. I wonder why it is. So if you're walking down the street and you see somebody, you think. I see if they would dress up that way. Why would they dress that way instead of just giving into it, say to yourself, Hmm. I wonder why. That triggered me in that way. I wonder why I felt that way. I just look at it internally and say, well, maybe it's because. You know, my mom always told me that. You should dress appropriately. Okay. What's underneath that. What's underneath the layers that we, we have stacked up upon ourselves. And how are we looking at the world? How many layers of. Belief systems. Do we have, are we looking through these lenses? And then we got okay. Let's reframe. Let's change the way we're thinking about it. Okay. Well that person that was wearing head to toe. In leather. Good for him. He's free to do what he wants. He has free will. He can dress the way he wants. And maybe I want that for myself too. Maybe there's a part of that, that I can embody in myself that I can live in a way where I feel free. To dress, head to toe in. Patent leather. You know outfits when I go to the pub every week.

Ané: 17:59

Yeah. love that. I think what you whole sentence of, okay. you know, where did that come from in childhood? Because hint, it's always going to come from childhood. And so taking yourself there and it might, you know, it might hurt. Like I've noticed what has really combined me with when I do shadow work is going and doing an inner child meditation, like in, in all of this questioning, like sometimes When I'm questioning myself so much in this, my mind gets a little bit frazzled because not only am I trying to answer these questions, but I'm also like the ego's there, right? The ego's in the mind. So I'm really trying to take some deep breaths, really sit in visualization and meditation, which means it's a bit of coming back to the breath, take some deep breaths. And I feel like I don't know for me that that just look at me saying I don't know when I just said if it's if you say I don't know I mean like we're human but what I meant was like. I don't know if it's going to work for you, but this is what works for me and the sense of having deep breaths, coming back to my body and the feelings that come up when I'm, you know, hearing that voice of my mom saying this, or my sister saying that, or that uncle saying this, and then from there on, Yeah. trying to reframe it has been very liberating because you kind of acknowledge, you kind of take yourself back into that childhood moment, like, Whether or not you act, you don't remember the exact location, time, date, doesn't matter. Like that stuff is irrelevant. It's just the feeling component because that's what creates that story. Yeah. So that I love that you've like, when you get to that reframing part, you can really reframe it to your younger self a little bit. Like whether or not it's like, Oh, you know, if you use a leather thing, Oh, I can't dress like that because I got bullied or whatever. It's like, I actually will visualize my little, me telling to my little one, it's okay if you want to dress that way. You know what I mean? Like really speaking to her and like saying to her, like acknowledging her. Cause that's all it is that we really wanted. It's just a bit of acknowledgement of. weird self that wanted to come out. Yeah.

Stacey: 20:10

I think it's interesting that you brought up. You know, your childhood. And the things that your parents or your friends have told you, because I do think that sometimes we have to. Be curious about this enough to say, is this even my belief. Is this a belief that I have consciously decided to take on? Or is it just a belief that society, my parents or my friends have placed upon me and I've absorbed. Because sometimes you start looking at it and go, do I actually believe that thing? Do I really, so they did this experiment. With these really young toddlers, right. And they put them in a room with all these snakes. They're very harmless, no venom. Nothing like that, then they've. Trained snakes that are trained to deal with humans. They grow up with humans. So, and they put all these toddlers in this room and they found that the children. We're fine with the snakes. No fear, not a scary coffea that just pat in the head, nothing. They're just panning the snakes and they're playing and it's fine. And they say the toddlers will look up to the caregivers for how do they react? Because you're learning, you look up and you say, Am I supposed to be scared of this. So that is literally where we learn most of these things to survive. So we say, am I supposed to be scared of this? And because they hate all the parents because the parents were in the backnet freaking out. They going, oh my God, oh my God, this thing's touching. My children and they're touching my children, but the kids don't care because they hit the parents say they couldn't see the reaction. So it was fine. So that's exactly how we learn. To FIA, most things and to judge most things.

Ané: 21:45

Yeah. Yeah. That conditioning goes deep.

Stacey: 21:49

Yeah,

Ané: 21:49

goes deep. And I think this is the part, this is what we're trying to say in like this episode is that Shadowworks take is going to be the rest for the rest of our lives. It's going to be a journey for the rest of our lives. And I, even to this day, Like things I feel like I have shifted, yes has shifted, but it's still gonna come up sometimes and I feel like it's okay because when you're conditioned in a particular judgment or thought or feeling or whatever, it's, it's gonna take a couple of years, like it's gonna take a while and you may be on that next, it may not be as triggering, like maybe The next level, let's say like quote, quote, unquote level. I'm just using that for like vision purposes, but let's say you move that, that trigger, and then the next time that thing comes up, it's not as a intense trigger, maybe you're not as defensive when that same story comes up. Maybe this time you're laughing instead, but it's still a. body reaction. Like that is still such an improvement because the old you would have have a defensive reactive moment and then making all the vibes very weird. But the next level is okay. You're laughing about it, even though it's still kind of hurts, like it's still burned, whatever they said or whatever that thing is or whatever you saw. And so I just think that like, evolve in that way, but it doesn't mean that you're going to do shadow work once or for six months about a particular thing and it's never coming up again. So I think we just got to be okay for this to be an ever evolving journey even if it's the same thing that comes up, judgment, abandonment, rejection, whatever the story, whatever the pain is. Totally,

Stacey: 23:34

It's going to lessen over time and hopefully. We can just caress and love on those parts of ourselves slowly. And like you said, it's not going to be this thing that you have to pressurize and I have to do shadow work for the next year and then I'll be done. It's not like it needs to be this one and done. It's just, it's just being more aware of. Yeah. Like we know when you brought up abandonment, I can say so many people in relationships. I have that problem with abandonment of their partners, abandoning them. And often what happens is people get into those relationships and it compounds the problem and it makes it. It makes it worse. And so their abandonment triggers get bigger. And they compound rather than being in the relationship and improving those feelings. Because when we try to. Overcome our triggers by utilizing external things like using other people to try and overcome them. It doesn't really work. It has to be done from us within. And we can't rely on other people too. Like I'm a big advocate of relationships being a very good tool for us to grow and to learn a lot, but they can also compound some, some of our fears.

Ané: 24:48

I think relationships are one of the best mirrorings for our shadows to come out. And I sometimes as well, like whatever, if you know your fears or doubts, whatever it is, rejection, abandonment, all of that stuff, if there is something that triggered you and you've done a lot of internal work, like you've done this and you really do move it because it does stuff with you. Sometimes, and this might be the hardest step, is to actually talk about it, like in the relationship. Hey, I'm feeling this because of this. Don't need you to change, don't need you to change yourself about that. But when you do X, it makes me, that, that wound comes back up. And I know that that can feel so vulnerable and so open and sort of like raw. But I, my journey have noticed, and whether that's platonic or not, doesn't matter has been one of the best catalysts for also, cause that's another thing. It's like, if. Where if you're willing to talk about it, the shame instantly dissolves, like, there is no shame if you can talk about whatever the fear is. So if you can talk about it eventually, when you've, for the last couple of months you've been working internally, it's really going to, again, soften that, soften that trigger, that. shadow.

Stacey: 26:07

Yeah. Yeah. And even if you've had. This happened with an ex. For example, and you can no longer continue the work with the person. You can continue it on your own. You can continue processing and doing the work. With yourself so that when you get to that next relationship with somebody, you have processed some of those fears and you're able to live in a healthier way with a new partner. So I take sometimes, you know, there are comic connections with people. And then there's happened for a reason for us to learn the lesson and then we move on to the next partnership and hopefully. We've been able to take something from that even though. You think ma might be thinking to yourself that. Oh, you know, it, it was a waste like there's five years of being with that person was a waste. And I just don't believe that because everything that came up comically, if you, in that relationship, Meant that you could bring it up, clear the fear and heal some of those fears that you have.

Ané: 27:09

Absolutely. So true. I think. And again, that's just, that's just the egoic mind talking about, Oh, I've lost that many time or whatever. Like, look into that. Why do you think that? Was there a dad that said they lost time and your parents, you know, like, Where is that story coming out? You know, I'm, I'm no, I said, dad, it could be mom as well. It doesn't matter. We're not stereotyping here. But on that topic, I wanted to quickly dive into archetypes because I just learned this and I think, you know, we talk about the feminine body led business here, but as we all know that we all hold masculine and feminine traits. In ourselves. Yeah. And I wanted to speak about the light, the light and the dark aspects of the feminine and the masculine, and, you know, tell us which one resonates with you more. And we'd love to dive deeper into this. You know, you can, you can let us know on our website, but Essentially, the light feminine is the mother archetype. Yeah. she's nurturing, she's compassionate, she's honest, she's loving, she's unconditional, like that's the mother light feminine. But with the light feminine, there's also going to be the shadow aspect of that, which is the self sabotage, the people pleaser. Hello, that's me. That used to be me, no boundaries over giving. So as I'm mentioning this, like maybe write it down, maybe say which one, which one you lean more in. And then you get, I'll do the light parts first and then the dark, and then you get the light mask and then you get. What the one that holds space is patient, the heart centered. Like I always think of the light masculine, it was like the, the hippie guy that drinks cacao and it's like meditates for three hours a day. Like, it's just so Zen, like, like you can imagine that archetype. Yeah. But the shadow aspect of that is like, it's kind of the rescuer. He's, he's a bit avoidant. He can come numb at times because you know, he might be holding too much of that, that openness where it's like, It's kind of overgiving as well. It's like that shadow aspect of the light feminine. Now, these two light archetypes, they are the ones that really is the sustainability of our lives. Like we really do need these nurturing parts and this patient parts to really sustain us and keep us a little bit in balance. Yeah. I mean, not going to always be balanced, but then you get the dark aspects too. And this could be, if you've heard of the golden shadow, this could be kind of. You can think of the light aspects of the golden shower shadow. Whereas if we just talk about shadows in general, it could be the dark, feminine, masculine. So the dark feminine is kind of the creative, emotional awareness skilly that's orchestrated, and maybe she's very expressive. Like I mentioned before, right. But that dark. The shadow part of the dark feminine is a seductress, is the wounded, emotionally penetrative, manipulated girl, right? So I think, is this maybe you? Do you maybe have a bit of a dark aspect of the dark femme? Now in the dark masculine, we get the light aspect of that, which is the goal focus, career focus, dominant, hero, man. Yeah. Like that, that sort of, We all, we all want that sort of masculinity in us. So we want the gold career focus, but obviously not to overcompensating in that either. So the shadow of that is the volatile. So you can think of like the very dark And masculine in his shadow. It's very predatory, seedy, rapey energy. So Again, but these two dark and masculine and feminine, they are the catalyzers. Like this is where you can catalyze. We need those parts of us in order to, go for the things that we want to go for, right? Like it's really that part where we can use it for our, for our Personal gain really, but not in a way that's like too self absorbed. Hopefully that's where the dark comes in. So I just wanted to share these archetypes because I feel like we hear these feminine and masculine aspects, but there's also the light and the dark for both. And none of this is right or wrong. It's just being self aware of which ones you lean to more. And if you can play in the other one, that isn't so. Dominant in the way that you are in your character. Exactly.

Stacey: 31:53

And you're standing out in the sun, you're going to cast a shadow and the taller you stand, the bigger that shadow's going to cost. So, you know, potentially this could look like the bigger your businesses growing, or the more you show up, the more you're able to be seen, the bigger your shadows might become and might start coming up to. To buy you. And you might start seeing more of those shadow masculine shadow, feminine parts of you coming up. So, you know, If you've been keeping yourself small, you may not have seen very much of it. But the more and more moist that to show up, the more you expose yourself, the more vulnerable you are and the more there's parts of yourself. Start to be able to be seen. And then sometimes what we do is we make ourselves small because we don't want to address those shadow parts, the shadow masculine, the shadow feminine. We go. No, no, no, no. That is. It almost feels like when you're talking about the shadow feminine too, like, she feels very volatile, very scary, very. Can't control that part of you, right? And we're like, no, no, no. I don't want to be in chaos. But to be a femme, like in fully in your feminine, it is chaos. And we go, no, no, no, I don't. I don't want that chaos. I don't want to, I don't want to be wild, but that is really a part of us. And it is a part that makes us whole, so. To make friends with it and to not fear it, not fear that shadow part of us as we grow and expand. And we show ourselves and we show up online and we grow up businesses and. Those parts of. Our shadow are going to show up.

Ané: 33:27

It's all about just becoming aware of yourself. And if he can hear, if he can hold the contraction of the opposite that you Yeah. Like, I remember like, even recently I was talking to a friend and she's like, Oh, I'm having this fear of being seen again. Like you mentioned, like, you know, the capacity of being seen again. And she's like, I've seen you move through it, like online. Like, what is it? And I was just like, honestly, I just became okay to be misunderstood. And that's that part of the dark feminine. I'm talking about that people. For so long, I didn't want to be misunderstood or seen a type of way of show it all or know it all that's on them. If they see me like that, I know my, I have true intentions. And so. That's what I mean about, that's what we say about like making friends of that part of you that feels really uncomfortable to do is, can you be okay of looking a bit, a certain way, a bit, you know, wounded or oversharing or whatever, like if, you know, if you hold, if you see yourself too much, like as a mother, like, can you be the opposite of the light feminine, which is the dark masculine, can you be a little bit more goal orientated and have boundaries and not, you know, get people to, you know, Like walk all over you kind of vibe like play with that sort of the polar opposite of that and Yeah. see what comes through.

Stacey: 34:49

And you know how you said the feeling of being misunderstood. That is a direct. Example of a very specific trigger. It's like, okay, that's your trigger? I feel like I'm going to be misunderstood and then you dig deeper and you go. Okay. How does that make me feel? What am I feeling? When have I felt like this before. What part of me has a memory of some kind of, when I felt misunderstood in the past. And that's. That feeling has embedded itself in me. And I don't want to feel that again. So normally we're avoiding feeling a certain way. Because we felt fear in that moment. I don't want to feel that again, so we will avoid it. And then we say to ourselves, okay, well it made me feel unworthy. It made me feel. Unseen and. Then you can come from that place of compassion to say yourself, like. I see myself, I acknowledge, you know, that I'm going to make mistakes. I acknowledge that I'm potentially going to be misunderstood by people and that's okay. And I love myself regardless.

Ané: 35:56

Yes. Yes, The unconditional love of yourself is, oh my gosh, it's like the light at the end of the tunnel. Like if you've been in a dark patch about some sort or you're like, you know, been so shameful about a particular feeling, like you said, and then coming back to, you know, I love and, you know, care for myself no matter what. And that's the thing with EFT tapping as well. I want to say like, if you guys like tapping, Yeah. if you guys like tapping, well, even if you haven't even tried it, please do, because it was for me personally, life changing. And I think even adding that, like if you're questioning yourself and you're journaling on these questions and stuff, like I think combining that with tapping, because tapping really does bring you back into the body. It's a bit of like somatic work. Oh my gosh. It's. It's just like the cherry on top because that is self subconscious reprogramming happening as well.

Stacey: 36:51

Yeah, exactly. Like even though, you know, you're tapping and you're, you're saying to yourself, even though I felt really misunderstood and I was mis-characterized by that thing that I said, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. And you can go and look this up on YouTube and follow some people that do these EFT tappings. But yeah, I also highly recommend it. And also helps you get to sleep to.

Ané: 37:12

Yes. Yes. I was going to say, hopefully let's all manifest that we can get gala darling, one of the tapping queen on the podcast, because we've we've spoken to a team before. So let's all manifest to have a here and she can really dive into that. But yeah, I think that's a wrap. We've covered so much. We were, it's so funny. This always happens. Like say, so now we're like, what are we going to talk about? How are we going to, and it's just, we just channel through. And I feel like. I'm going to listen to this because when I'm in that irritated cycle again, I'm gonna be like, let's, let's do some shadow work.

Stacey: 37:46

Yeah. I definitely feel less irritated too, because you're in, you're in creation mode. I feel like that. It's like the, that part of me can be expressed and it can come through through me that emotion can move through me and then I can process it better. So the act of creation is always helpful for me too.

Ané: 38:05

I love that. Yeah. Thanks guys for listening. And if you wanted a little bit of more of a diagram of what I mentioned about the masculine and feminine, light and dark, then yeah, hit us up on DMs, whether it's Stacey or I, or you can, you know, email us on our website or the links are down below. Yeah. Or even these Google, Google, even these questions that Stacey shared, we're so happy to share it with you guys too. And dive into that.

Stacey: 38:35

Yeah. So, thank you so much for listening, and if you would love to leave us. AirView and apple Pocus. That would really help us out if you have a minute to spare, that would be so beautiful and we would really appreciate it. So thank you so much for listening and we'll see you on the next episode.

Ané: 38:53

Bye.