In this last episode of the year 2021, I talk about something very meaningful to me...
"Own Your Greatness!"
We all have fears. We all have insecurities that can blind us to the things that make us different, unique, and special. And instead of celebrating and honoring our unique traits, we judge them and criticize ourselves when we begin to compare ourselves to others or the image of where we think we should be or have in our life. Psychologist call this “counterfactual thinking,” it’s where we image outcomes that didn’t happen.
There was a study done on happiness and compared Silver medalists to Bronze medalists on the Olympic podium. You would think that because silver outperform the bronze, they would be happier. But the opposite was true… Silver medalists were less happy than bronze medalist because of counterfactual thinking. Silver medalists compared upward to what they didn’t achieve - or what they could have achieved but didn’t. Bronze medalist on the otherhand were comparing themselves downward - meaning they were more grateful to be going home with hardware or simply to have made it to the podium. There was more gratitude about being where they were and to have achieved what they did. Where Silver medalists were focusing more on “I could have…” Bronze were focusing more on “At least…” At least I got something today. You see the biggest difference that was a direct correlation to happiness was that Silver medalists compare themselves to the gold medalists; bronze medalists compare themselves to themselves. Comparing ourselves to others is a trap, yet we all do it especially more now because of social media. But it is a never ending cycle that will trigger all of our insecurities and fears. We cannot compare our lives to others because our life is not theirs and their life is not ours…
Narratives dictate our lives. The stories we create powerfully dictate the actions we take and who we think we can or cannot become. It is our beliefs and stories that determine our destiny. You can look at your natural qualities and tendencies and view them from the lens of “not good enough” or “need more…” However, you can also view your natural tendencies “just right, perfect, a work in progress, lovable and enough for me.” The only story we have control over is our own and only we can do what we do, no one in this world can beat you doing you.
Happy New Year everyone. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I had in creating it and sharing it with you all.
Please don't forget to share, like, or comment on the episode and please leave me a review and let me know what you think.
Warmly,
-Dr. Mat
www.drmatpark.com