Second Serve Tennis

Tennis Manners

Second Serve with Carolyn Roach & Erin Conigliaro Episode 246

Ever wondered why a simple game of tennis can sometimes feel like navigating a social maze? Have you ever thought your opponent didn't have very good tennis manners? 

Tennis, and especially adult recreational tennis, is a little strange with all the etiquette, protocols, and manners involved in a match. Also, what one person considers bad manners another may not. In this episode, Erin discusses situations she has had with opponents who she believes did not have the best tennis manners.  Carolyn mostly agrees, but we learned that bad manners can be very subjective!

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Carolyn:

Hey everyone, this is Carolyn and I'm here with Erin and Erin on actually came up with this topic of tennis manners. Aaron, do you want to talk a little bit about a situation you had recently? And then we started laughing and talking about different, strange or, I guess, interesting things that happened on the tennis court, Because adult tennis is a little, or just tennis in general, I guess is a little strange at all the protocols and the etiquette and the manners involved. So can you talk a little bit about it?

Erin:

Yeah, I was thinking about that column called Miss Manners. That was probably written year, I mean decades ago, but anyway. So I was thinking of, like I mean decades ago, but anyway. So I was thinking of, like you know, there's there's, like these, a lot of unwritten rules, and our friend Angela actually asked us some of those unwritten rules at one point right About like who does this and who does that.

Erin:

So one of the things that happened um to me recently was I was playing a singles match at our club and, um, well, the first thing that happened was I was playing the captain of the team that we were facing and it was um singles court, so we had three singles courts and, um, she came onto the court where we were warming up right at match time. So to, in my mind, it's like we have to exchange lineups. You have your five to 15 minutes to warm up and then you're supposed to start within 15 minutes of actual match time, right, right? So she was just walking on. So I approached her and I said Hi, I'm Erin, you know you're the captain, let's exchange lineup. And she did not look at me, did not? I mean, she did, she was. I think she was on the phone or something. But I was like I just got this vibe that she wasn't didn't want to, you know, didn't want to talk to me.

Erin:

I kind of found out later, I think she was trying to figure out about her three teammates who was going to play on singles one, singles two, singles three. But anyway, it didn't matter, it was just a little bit, it was just a little bit odd, you know, and you know, maybe that's a manners thing and everybody thinks, you know, everybody has different manners. So you know, that was just her. But once we started, we started our warmup, she hit the ball into the net a few times and so she asked me if the net had been measured recently, and I didn't know the answer to it. But our pro was there and I said, oh, let me get our pro to go ahead and do that, because I don't have a measuring tape in my bag. I couldn't even tell you what the net is supposed to be at, I think it's three feet exactly, but I could be wrong.

Erin:

Um, so, before I even had time to like kind of glance around and look for our pro, she had gone to her bag, grabbed a measuring tape and started measuring it. But the problem was that she, she moved it Like she, she pulled the strap right away and like was going to correct it, but it had, it was actually correct in the first place. So then we had to take some time to like go through and pull the strap down and make sure it was separated. And so to me that was and I don't want to use the word rude, but manners wise we I was the home team, I was the home captain. Even I wasn't just like a player out there not knowing what to do, I was the captain.

Erin:

She asked me a question, didn't let me even fix it, and she went ahead and just boom, started doing it and then kind of messed up the whole situation and it took like five or 10 minutes to kind of get it set. So I just thought that was a little odd. Um, yes, yes. So I don't know, were you there that day? Did you see that? You didn't see that happen? I?

Carolyn:

didn't see that happen. I can't remember. I watched some of the math, yeah, but I always know when someone's measuring the nets that my experience is. It's normally pretty intense after that or they're really into it.

Erin:

You know enough to measure it and to have something to measure it, then you're not messing around. Yeah, I don't know, I don't even know what the right height is. I should, and there's actually like measuring devices specifically for tennis nets, but maybe I should get one as the captain. But and then the other thing that happened and again, this isn't a manners thing, it's just like everyone's personality is so different. But I had this woman show up and to a singles match and had her own chair. Again, like we had benches.

Erin:

We have, you know, and I know it's a little odd maybe to sit next to your opponent, but you can sit on a bench and sip your water and not say anything if you don't want to talk. Um, but she like put a chair on, like a completely, I would say like eight feet away from me. Yes, which is fine, cause I know that's you like to not talk to people. So I totally understood her. But it does feel odd and awkward in an adult rec tennis match. I don't think that probably happens that often. Maybe it happens more in States where it's more intense or something. But this was like a casual summer league where I just thought I wasn't going to chit chat with her because I clearly knew I could read the room Like. Her personality was like don't chit chat with me, but it was just funny to have like. And you did show up later and you were like what's the chair?

Carolyn:

like 20 feet away. So that's really interesting, erin, because I saw that match also where someone was, had a chair and put it really far away from everyone else and in my mind I thought that's really smart. And then I started doing it for my singles matches, well, because of COVID. Part of it was because of COVID, but also kind of just to be away from everyone else is better for me. But I think that's interesting how you took it. It's strange to see for a fun match to see someone take a chair and put it away from everyone, but mine specifically, I'm like oh, that's really smart, especially with COVID, to put all your stuff away from everyone.

Erin:

That I agree with. The COVID thing I absolutely agree with and maybe that was it. It definitely could have been that.

Carolyn:

Oh, I had one for you. I remember this and I don't know what to do in this situation. Who changes the scoreboard? I always find it very awkward, like it's like we both walk up, then there's like we stare at each other, then I do it and then I don't know if they don't like that that I'm doing it. Is it the home team?

Erin:

Yeah, and some people like to change it every single time, like you know, even on an like, not even on a changeover, and especially in, and I don't disagree with this and frankly I don't care if someone wants to change it every time and that's their quirk, I have no problem with that. You know, change the scoreboard every time, um, but um, especially in match tie breaks, I'm actually not against that, except it does sometimes mess with the flow. If you're changing it every single time, every single point, because at least in a game you know you could go four points, or maybe it's eight points or 12 points, depending on how many deuces you go to, then it doesn't mess up the flow. If you change it, you know, between games. But if you change it every single time, like during a set or a match tie break, that to me is um distracting because you're doing it after every single point.

Erin:

But who does it is a very good question. Here's my philosophy. Let's hear it. I don't personally care. I try. If I am the away opponent, if I'm at someone else's courts, I certainly try to establish some sort of like. Who wants to do this? You know, like it's your home courts, it's you know you're, it's up to you, it's your job.

Erin:

I don't personally care if anybody does it at ours or not.

Erin:

And part of that is two things for me. Number one I tend to focus on tennis, and not not that I don't focus on the score, but sometimes, like there's so much to think about that, I will oftentimes either call the score wrong, like sometimes, like if I'm up 40, 30, I might say 30, 40, and then go oh no, sorry, sorry, 43, knowing the numbers are right but I have them in the wrong order. So I might do that with a scoreboard too. So I personally don't care if somebody else does the scoreboard and I just like check them. Or if I do it every single time, I literally say to my opponents or my team or my partner Um, so. And then here's the other thing too. This is the weird part of my personality and it comes down to superstition If I've changed it and I'm winning, then I would prefer to keep changing it. If I've changed it and I've lost, like, I might want to switch it up and have someone else touch it or do it Right.

Carolyn:

Yes that. So that's really interesting, cause I play doubles with someone who, um refuses to change the scoreboard. She doesn't want to do it. She says that it's bad luck. So she doesn't want to change the scoreboard. I don't care, I'm fine changing it, but I just didn't know. I just think it's kind of interesting that some people don't want to change it.

Erin:

Some people do.

Carolyn:

Is there someone that should? And it's always this awkward. Did you change it? A lot of times, as I noticed, we switch sides and then nobody's changed it, and so I'm always like running up to change it because I don't want to forget games.

Erin:

But is it normally the home team that you let do it, and if they don't, then you do it I would think if we were talking, I would think, if we're talking about it in a manner situation, it's probably best to defer to the home team to do it. Okay, Same with. Oh, we should talk about spinning the racket, right.

Erin:

Anyone can do it, but it's almost always in my mind, come down to the home team spins. Yes, it doesn't have to be that way, but it's your. You are the host of the match. You know, even if you're at a city, you don't have to be at a country club or a you know, or tennis club. Um, you know, if you're city courts, you're. Someone has always assigned the home team or the away team. So I typically let and I will say to people like you're the home team, why don't you? I might initiate the spin, but I would say you're the home team, you know, why don't you spin? Some people don't have like the bottom of the racket has like a weird symbol, or they don't want to spin the racket, and so they might go like, oh you know who has the best racket to spin with. But I think, in just like prompting the home team to at least start that process somehow, whether they want to have somebody else do it or that, that to me would be the right thing to do.

Carolyn:

Yes, I agree with that. And then you're the captain, so you enter scores a lot. Who?

Erin:

enters the score. Oh, that's a good one, that's a really good question. So the USTA says anybody can enter the scores. I think that they say that because, yeah, I think they say that because they want scores entered quickly.

Erin:

I used to play on a team when I first started out where I had a captain. She was a great captain, but she would constantly forget after the match, if we won, to enter the scores, and so I would like obsessively watch for like a couple days to see if they had been entered. And there was a lot of times where I wanted to enter them because I knew, you know, I knew all three courts or five courts or whatever. I knew who played on what, but I might've even been the co-captain, but I didn't feel like it was my place to do it. But it really is. Anyone can do it. But typically, I think the unwritten you know rule, manners, whatever you want to call it is the winning team is supposed to enter. Now I do think it comes down to like now I've captained for so long, I feel like even if I was the losing captain I have all the scores and know who's played on what courts I would probably just enter them. But it's supposed I mean manners, wise protocol, whatever you want to call it it should be the winning team, but if they don't enter it for a while, really anybody can do it Right.

Erin:

Two other things that come to mind, and I know we've done previous episodes on them, but as a captain, the courtesy slash nice, miss Manners, thing to do as the host, whether, again, if you're at a city court, you could be the home or away captain, whatever, but it should fall under the person, the captain that is hosting the match. As the home team should contact the other captain and just confirm, just say, looks like weather's good, you know, for tomorrow or next week or whenever you're confirming it. You know, sometimes I'll say like you know, don't forget where we're playing. There's no water on the courts, or you know the bathrooms are far away, or we have ice and water and towels, you know whatever, just kind of give them. Or if you know your court numbers, that's a really nice thing to do ahead of time, for the opposing team is just to say here's where we're playing, here's what it looks like, here's what we you know, here's what's going on. So that's a good manners thing to do.

Erin:

What was the other one that we just talked about. Oh, we also talked about before what courts to play on. Yeah, yes, like who?

Carolyn:

plays on what court?

Erin:

Yes, yeah, so several, several years, many, many years ago we were the home team and we had a club show up and we only had a singles court. I mean, I'm sorry, we only had a hard court available for the singles match and then we were waiting for other courts to open up for the doubles or something, but singles had to get started. So our captain it was not me at the time my captain said to the other team we're going to put the singles one player on hardcore one or whatever, right? And the other team the woman that was playing singles almost outright refused because we have clay courts and hard courts at our club. And the fact is it was bad manners for her to refuse because you can't.

Erin:

You play where you are assigned to. You can obviously negotiate. I mean, maybe our captain didn't even want to play there either and maybe she could have said hey, you know, we would rather wait and put singles on a clay court or whatever. But we did not have a choice at that time and the rule, the deal was that was the court that she and the other singles player were assigned to. She almost outright refused to play. It took about 15 minutes to convince her that that was where she was playing or she was going to forfeit the match and that's again. That's super awkward in adult rec tennis. But the the that's the rule, like the home team gets to choose where, what court you're playing, whatever match on. There's certainly a lot of courtesy given if certain people don't like to play on hard courts. Maybe they have bad knees, maybe they're older, maybe you know they have an injury, you know whatever it is. But the nice mismanners thing to do is to play where you are assigned.

Carolyn:

The right Right.

Erin:

That's all I have to say.

Carolyn:

Thanks very much to Erin for discussing this. We hope you'll check out our website, which is SecondServePodcastcom. You can listen to all of our episodes directly from the website by searching the topic you're interested in. We also have information about ratings, rules, tennis gear and more on our resources page. Thanks so much for listening and hope to see you on the court soon. You.