Second Serve Tennis

The Tennis Mind

• Second Serve with Carolyn Roach & Erin Conigliaro • Episode 297

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Ever wonder why you excel in practice but crumble under the pressure of a real match? Do you feel confident on the court?

We are replaying a few of our most popular episodes and this was one of them!

We were thrilled to have Christine from The Tennis Mind here to give us a few tips on the mental game! Christine coaches players on the mental game and is a 4.0 rated player. With advice drawn from her experiences, she encourages us to take responsibility for our own game.

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Carolyn:

Hi, this is Carolyn, and I'm here with Erin, and we are so excited to have Christine from the Tennis Mind here with us. She coaches players on the mental game. She is a local league coordinator and a 4-0 tennis player. So she knows what it's like to be out in the trenches on adult recreational courts. So, Christine, thank you so much for being here. Can you tell us a little bit about your background and why you started coaching tennis players on the mental game?

Christine:

Well, thanks for having me. First of all, I'm super excited to be here. You guys have been amazing. And um, Erin actually was my very first opponent when I moved here to North Carolina in December. So it was I didn't know that was your first match. Yeah, my very first match.

Erin:

So and she beat me terribly.

Christine:

No, that is not the first time. But I got into life coaching, leadership coaching, oh gosh, probably about 20 years ago, and got certified. It's uh George Washington University in DC when I lived there. And I learned a lot of theory, but I never really did anything with it. I became a teacher and a principal and did all sorts of other things. So I was able to integrate some of these skills, but never really had any specific tools. And so a few years ago, I decided I want to pursue life coaching again. So I found a place I wanted to recertify and kind of brush up on my skills. And this place that was that I got certified was amazing because they actually provided me with tools that I could use and teach others. And so I've been able to not only coach others in anything, because I don't need to be the expert. I just need to know the questions to ask to actually get people noticing what thoughts that they have. And that's really what it's all about. So I coach myself. It has been absolutely life-changing for me in all areas of my life. And I've really noticed it in tennis. And I've actually had a lot of people when I was doing coaching with other people saying, You should coach tennis players. I'm like, oh, I don't know. That seems weird. But suddenly I've started doing it because I love it because I relate to them. And I have struggled with the mental game in all different sports throughout my whole life. And so being in the trenches with those people, I get it. I struggle every day, just like everyone else, because I have a human brain. And so now I'm just decided to put my focus on coaching tennis players and I am loving it. I'm loving every minute of it.

Erin:

And it's so funny because I'm sure there's a million books written on the subject and studies done. But I think what's known is that a lot of us have the same skills, but the differences in our tennis games often are mental, right?

Christine:

Absolutely.

Erin:

So you could be the same, you know, we could be exactly the same skill set, but if you think differently than I think, or like you and I did a, I know this is jumping ahead, but um, we all did a little session with you. Carol and I each did a little session with you. And um one of the things I think I told you was in singles, for some reason, I walk out on the court and I'm like, oh, I might have a good match. I'm not sure if I'll win or lose. I'm gonna try my best, you know, sort of thing. And I think your question to me was like, why don't you feel like you belong there? Like you are the same level as everybody. And so from then on, most of my singles matches, I still have to remind myself, most of my singles matches, I I literally say to myself in my brain, I am supposed to be here. Like this is my level. I deserve to be here. I know I can win. And before it was just like, I'm not really sure. You know, it's just kind of unsure stepping on the court.

Christine:

So that's awesome. And that is such a huge shift.

Erin:

Yeah, it's a big shift. That one little, it's it is but it's tiny, but it's but it it makes a huge difference.

Christine:

One little shift in your thought can change everything about your tennis. And that's really what I try and teach people is it's not about having this amazing, you know, oh, I've got to think all these perfect thoughts, but it's just a lot of recognition and just becoming aware of what you're thinking and then decide is that really true or not? You know, I'm a 4-0, I belong here, or or whatever, whatever your thoughts are.

Erin:

Good job. Thank you. Good job to you. Um, so are there con have you heard common issues from adult rec players? Like, are there, you know, does it seem like a lot of people have the same issues or are they all over the board?

Christine:

Well, it's funny because, you know, a lot of times people come to me with specific issues. But what I notice more is when I'm out among everyone and I'm playing. And I see a very a couple of really common threads that I see. One of them a lot of times is, oh, I practice well and I do drills well and I do everything right when I'm with my teaching pro, but then I get into a match and it it all just goes away. And I get tight and I start to choke, and then I can't perform. And they're so frustrated because they think, what's the difference? You know, why why can I do so well in practice or at drills, but then I get into a match where it matters and suddenly I can't perform. And really, if you really break it down and look at it, you're literally hitting a tennis ball over a net back and forth in practice or in a match. It doesn't matter where you're performing that, but it's the exact same circumstance in either way. The only difference is what what our thoughts are about it. So let's say we get into a match, maybe it's a playoff, you know, to go to the championships, or you're getting ready to go to states or sectionals, or just a regular local league match, and suddenly the thoughts kind of seep in of, well, I don't want to let anyone down, or I don't want to uh disappoint anyone, I don't want to let my partner down. That's a very common one in doubles, or I don't want to let my team down. It's we're two and two and I were the deciding line. All of a sudden, all this stuff comes into our head, or other things like I don't want to lose and feel stupid, or I don't want to feel embarrassed. You know, all of those things come in and suddenly we feel pressure. So it's not that it's the circumstance of playing in a playoff match that is pressure, it's our thoughts. And so when you're practicing, there's no pressure ever, really. I mean, unless your coach, your captain, or your coaches they're watching you and judging you or whatever. But that's typically not happening.

Erin:

It's a tryout and you don't know it.

Christine:

Exactly. Right, Carolyn? So yes, yes, and I've heard that that happens. Yes. So it's about really recognizing what your thoughts are because you're creating your pressure. People will come off and say, Oh, well, I just felt so much pressure. That's on you. That's because of your thoughts. So I help people recognize what they're thinking in practice, in drills, in matches. Then they get to decide if they want to keep those thoughts or if they want to create better thoughts for themselves. So that's one thing that I see that's very common is the practice versus the real game mentality. And it just shows that we're you're doing the same thing. It's just your thoughts shift. So that's one big thing. The other one I see a lot of is when you're struggling in a match or um you're not playing your best, we all want to blame something. And so it's easy to want to go outside ourselves and say, well, you know, doubles players, oh, well, if my partner would pick it up and play wet or you know, then we could win. A big one I hear a lot is is if only my opponent would give me the right ball so that I can hit it. How often do you hear, oh, they didn't have any pace on the ball? Therefore, I couldn't play my game. Well, what opponent wants to give you a ball that you want to hit? And or they talk about the weather, you know, oh, it was so windy. I, you know, I couldn't hit my ball because it's windy, or the sun's in my eyes, or there's a bug. And actually, the bug is my thing because when I was in Texas, I had no idea I had a total phobia of crickets. And in the fall, there's about six weeks when the weather just starts to turn, that the crickets at night they swarm the lights and they dive bomb on the court. And it's crazy. There'll be hundreds of crickets on the court. Well, I'm out there playing with my husband, and we're in a we're in a match playing mixed. All of a sudden, all these bugs start coming and I freak out. I mean, I'm like, I can't, I mean, I was having a panic attack. I couldn't handle it. And so it's been a long-standing joke because that was like 15 years ago. People still, oh, there's a cricket, Christine, and I'm out. I'm bolting, even if it's one. So that's one thing I still need to work on is getting over my mentality of the bugs. But whatever it is, when you're looking outside yourself, you're handing over your control. You're you become powerless because you can't control anything outside yourself. So it's best to take full responsibility for how you're playing, no matter how your opponent's hitting, no matter how your partner's hitting. And it doesn't mean you're taking full responsibility of your win or your loss, but you're taking responsibility of yourself. And so then you don't have to feel so frustrated. Because when you're frustrated, then you're gonna want to over hit, you're gonna give up, or you're gonna get angry and maybe say something that you regret or create tension. And those things don't help you win a match. So it's keeping that responsibility within yourself and saying, what can I do? My partner's struggling right now. So how can I help my partner? Or how can I show up in my best way and be supportive? Or my opponent is a is a total pusher and I wish that she would just hit the ball harder so I can play better. No, what can I do to create the pace that I want for my game? You know, it's taking that responsibility back. It gives you so much more uh control. You feel more empowered, and then you tend to play better. So it's hard to do in the moment. I mean, I get frustrated just like everybody else, but it's a good reminder. So those are two common things that I see quite a bit when I'm on the court, when I'm competing, and then when I'm also talking to clients as well.

Erin:

Do you have a few? I know there's a lot, and this is a short conversation for a very large topic, but do you have a few tips for the mental game?

Christine:

Yeah, I would say we all have human brains, like I mentioned before. And our higher brain is our prefrontal cortex, and it's really full of ideas, it's creative, it's, I wonder, you know, full of possibility. It's the one that thinks, I can do this. I'm up for the challenge, I want to play. And that's the fun part. You know, we get excited, we get up for stuff, we we want to challenge ourselves. And then we've got our lower brain, who it's kind of from the old days of, you know, protecting you from being eaten by an animal. You know, it's it senses danger. And so then it's gonna be chirping in your ear. And so you got these two brains kind of battling each other. And so when you go out onto the tennis court, you have your higher brain who's like, Yeah, I'm up for the challenge, I can do this, it's gonna be great. And then your lower brain is saying, but what if you lose? Well, what if you feel embarrassed? What if you look stupid? You know, what if you let your partner down and yourself down and your team down? And those doubts start to creep in. And so there's two brains kind of fighting against each other, and they're both always gonna be there. That's the thing, is I still battle those little that lower brain all the time as well. But I get to decide because I have that recognition now, so I can decide which brain do I want to listen to today? You know, do I want to fall into the trap of, oh, you're not good enough, you can't do it, or do I want to step up and say, I'm gonna give it my, I'm gonna give it the best that I've got. That's one thing I teach my clients how to do is to recognize who's talking to them and then have helping them make a decision on which brain they want to listen to, because they're both gonna be there. And sometimes when those doubts creep in and that lower brain is talking to you, it's easy to think, oh no, see, I can't do it. I can't do it because you want to believe them. Because they've been there the whole your whole life trying to protect you. And so thank you, thank you, little low brain, for trying to protect me. But I don't need you, I'm gonna be just fine, you know. So that's that's one thing is recognizing the higher and lower brain activity and um making a conscious decision to go with the higher brain when you can, you know, but it's not always easy, and sometimes you just jump off the cliff and you're just gonna have a bad match and a bad day, and it's okay. So another thing that's and I think this is so critical is we all say, Oh, if I could just get a couple wins under my belt, then I'll feel confident. You know, how many times have you heard that in your life? And really, the result doesn't ever create confidence. Never. Confidence creates the result. And so it's all about going in with confidence before the match. And then the other thing is people think that confidence is, oh, I can win and I'm the best and I'm gonna, you know, I'll never lose and whatever. That's not it at all. Self-confidence is just knowing you can handle anything that comes your way. So if you go into any match you play, whether you're playing up or you're playing your level or you're playing down or whatever, going into that match and saying, I know I'm gonna be okay no matter what, I can face anything because I've already done it all. I've felt embarrassed before. I've felt ashamed, I've felt stupid. We've all survived that. Does it feel good? No, but we will survive that. So I decide ahead of time, I'm gonna go in with confidence that I'm gonna be okay. So if I lose 6060, I'll be disappointed, but I'm still gonna be just fine. And it helps you to relax and know that I don't have to win. Now, of course, you're fighting to win and you want to win, and you're gonna give it your all, but how many times do we show up with our A game? You know, we don't get to have our A game all the time. So sometimes you gotta win ugly, you're gonna lose ugly. That's usually the worst uh worst option. But and it's just what happens. Sometimes it's just gonna happen. I had one of those a few weeks ago, and I come off and I'm like, darn. The difference between me now and what I used to be because I used to put so much emphasis on my self-worth and my self-confidence of, you know, if I'm winning, then I'm worthy or whatever, you know. Now I don't make winning or losing mean anything. It's nothing about me. It's just how I showed up and how I played that match. It's who my opponent was. I lost a match recently, 1-0 in a singles match. I was playing up and it was a great singles match. I really didn't even feel like I played that badly, but she just was doing everything a little bit better. And I just wasn't able to get in the match and win the points. And I had lots of breakpoints, I had lots of um deuce games. I couldn't win the points to get the to get the games. And so the score looked terrible. And I got off the court and I'm I'm just like, how did that happen? I'm not sure. And I'm sure if we played again, we might have a better score. I could win, maybe she'll beat me again. But I it's coming off the court no matter what happens, and saying, Hey, this doesn't change anything about me. It's literally just a tennis match, and then continuing to go on. And because what will happen is when you go in with that self-confidence, you're gonna win a lot more matches. It's insane how that shifts. Instead of depending on the wins in order to feel confident, so you can win more. Just decide that you're gonna be confident. And that's that's something else I help my my clients with because they think, well, I don't know how to feel confident, or I don't, I don't think I can do that. Everybody can do it, and I can teach you how.

Carolyn:

Thanks very much to Christine for coming on the podcast. We have another episode with Christine where she'll discuss what to do with bad line calls. Also, if you like to contact Christine, we've included her contact information in our show notes. Thanks so much for listening and hope to see you on the courts soon.