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The Reload with Sean Hansen
The Reload with Sean Hansen
Navigating Leadership: Curbing Hubris, Embracing Professionalism, and Fostering Two-Way Communication - 222
What if your biggest asset as a leader could also be your greatest downfall? Imagine the sharp edge of intelligence being dulled by the subtle creep of overconfidence. In this compelling episode of The Reload, we scrutinize the perilous sway of hubris within leadership, drawing insightful parallels with Greek tragedies. As a performance coach and special operations combat veteran, I share firsthand experiences that highlight how even the best leaders can stumble into this trap, not through obvious arrogance but through an inflated sense of their own capacity. We tackle the critical importance of recognizing and respecting one’s limitations to avoid this common pitfall.
Our journey continues by peeling back the layers of basic professionalism, often overshadowed by the chaos of daily operations. Discover why the simplest skills like open communication, strategic time management, and self-care form the bedrock of effective leadership. The episode emphasizes the transformative power of sincere interpersonal conduct and the often-neglected art of meaningful recognition. Leaders are urged to intersperse recovery periods and buffers into their schedules to combat burnout, thereby nurturing a more motivated and high-performing team environment.
Finally, we shift our focus to the realm of feedback and communication in leadership roles. Moving beyond the traditional top-down method, the discussion underscores the advantages of fostering an environment of mutual understanding. The concept of regular, two-way communication between leaders and their teams is explored, highlighting how it can lead to more constructive feedback and proactive problem-solving. Through humorous anecdotes, such as the "screaming eagle," listeners will grasp the importance of humility and openness in receiving feedback. This episode encourages leaders to embrace a culture of collaboration, ultimately driving the improvement of workplace dynamics.
Are you an executive, entrepreneur, or combat veteran looking to overcome subconscious blind spots and limiting messaging to unlock your highest performance? Feel free to reach out to Sean at Reload Coaching and Consulting.
Welcome to the Reload, where we help unconventional leaders craft the life they truly want by questioning the assumptions they have about how life works. My name is Sean and I'll be your host on this journey. As a performance coach and special operations combat veteran, I help high-performing executives kick ass in their careers while connecting with deeply powerful insights that fuel their lives. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the show. If this is your first time, welcome. And this is not your first time. I salute you for coming back time and time again to be punched proverbially or metaphorically in the face, trying to achieve new levels of cognition, new ways of looking at things, so that your leadership behavior and your leadership performance can improve. Ultimately, that is the goal of this show, regardless of how sometimes it might be communicated. All right. So today, what are we going to be talking about? We're going to be talking about the destructive power of hubris. So I guess I want to give a disclaimer before I get into the episode. It is absolutely not my intention to come across as some sort of judge or hater here. To come across as some sort of judger-hater here my goal with this particular episode and with any episode, because so frequently I dive into the topics that are very challenging for leaders, and I draw most often on the coaching sessions that I have with real-world leaders, most of the time in the vice president and above category, and when we look at this, the goal is not to be coming from a place of superiority. The goal is to be able to take a step back and to look at certain patterns so that we can actually improve the way that we show up. And so frequently what I am left taking away from pretty much every client call that I have are reminders of where I engage in similar behavior. I engage in similar behavior. Now, the circumstances may be completely different, but oftentimes the underlying pattern or the underlying emotional dynamic is very similar. So with that out of the way, let's start talking about hubris Now, before we go any further, what I think would be pretty useful is for us to get clear on what we actually mean. So frequently I've noticed especially when I'm working with teams, or if I'm working with a couple, or if I'm doing a session between a boss and their subordinate or vice versa, depending on who the client might be I recognize that we frequently operate in a bit of confusion about what we actually mean and we sort of drift along with an assumption that everybody knows what we mean. So maybe let's get clear first, and for those of you who are regular subscribers to the show you know we are headed to. Yes, the dictionary. Ah the dictionary. What a powerful tool.
Speaker 1:So when we look at the word hubris, what do we see? Probably the shortest definition I have ever come across Exaggerated pride or self-confidence Exaggerated pride or self-confidence. And then we're going to go into did you know, merriam-webster? I did not know, so glad you're putting this section in here. Hubris, did you know, comes from ancient Greece. English picked up both the concept of hubris and the term for that particular brand of cockiness. Oh, burn, that's me adding that little section there From the ancient Greeks who considered hubris a dangerous character flaw, capable of provoking the wrath of the gods.
Speaker 1:That sounds bad Going on. In classical Greek tragedy, hubris was often a fatal shortcoming that brought about the fall of the tragic hero. Typically, overconfidence led the hero to attempt to overstep the boundaries, listen for this one of human limitations and assume a godlike status, and the gods inevitably humbled the offender with a sharp reminder of their mortality. Oof that might be worth listening to a second time. Oof. That might be worth listening to a second time. I'm not going to actually read it a second time, but that might be worth hitting the old back button a couple times to listen to that again. Mortal limitations Instead of having godlike powers.
Speaker 1:Now again, please remember the disclaimer at the beginning of the episode. I am not attempting to be in judge or hater mode here. Remember the disclaimer at the beginning of the episode. I am not attempting to be in judge or hater mode here. The reason I'm creating this episode is because I have noticed time and time and time and time and time again, even before I got into coaching, which was oh gosh, what was that Like seven, eight years ago or something like that. So even in before that timeframe, no-transcript, and it's not, you know, for those who are zeroing in on that, did you know? Section from Merriam-Webster.
Speaker 1:It's not that I believe that these individuals that I've seen and the clients that I've worked with, that I believe have a fair amount of hubris. I don't think that it comes across as in I am trying to be better than you, right, it's not coming with the sort of an overt arrogance or not, and not even a narcissism, right? There are many instances where maybe you would assume that if somebody is attempting to attempt godlike status, right, I think there is a way that this presents or at least I've observed this that they're not attempting to be better than another person necessarily or trying to put themselves above somebody else person necessarily or trying to put themselves above somebody else, but they do. In their high degree of intelligence and their high degree of experience and training and credentials, they do exercise this notion of hubris, this exaggerated self-confidence, and sometimes pride. Yeah, so is pride a bad thing? Is self-confidence a bad thing? No, I don't think so. But, as with so many things, much of it depends on what the tipping point is, and the tipping point is quite frequently where it is that we go beyond our understanding of the skill set that we actually have or the refinements in our training process thus far.
Speaker 1:Now, one of the things that I've noticed with these incredibly high IQ people is they are accustomed to being correct and through much of their life they have been the one that others have turned to for the quote, unquote, right answer, and I've alluded to this or talked about this in different episodes in different ways, but fundamentally this concept of hey, I'm really smart People come to me for the right answer. They get the right answer, and then it reaffirms that I'm really smart and I see things other people can't see no-transcript. Now, over time, though, that confidence which is a good thing starts to get into this place of I'm the only one that can come up the right answers, and I don't think that's a conscious decision. I think that that's often a product of the fact that people have so frequently come to them that there's this baked in assumption that, oh yeah, I'm the person who's going to make this happen. And then they do, and this is the part that's so tricky. Is that so frequently they are correct, they're right and they see things that other people don't see. And then it just keeps building and building, and building and building, and then they get more and more authority and power. That goes with that, which also makes sense, and their career rise is commensurate with the number of correct, right answers that they've given that have led to very positive results for the organization. Write answers that they've given that have led to very positive results for the organization. And so it builds, and it builds, and it builds.
Speaker 1:Then we get to this place much like Icarus, flying too close to the sun, even though his father warned him not to fly too close to the sun. And then the material that held the wings, together with which they were flying away from the prison in which they had been snared, started to melt and the feathers went. Poof, came off the wings and then no more wings. And then Icarus falls to his death, which is a story from Greek mythology, a story that is very much often quoted in terms of hubris being told hey, don't go there, going there anyway, because the rules don't apply to you.
Speaker 1:Okay, I've had a lot of clients brilliant people, kind people as well when they were not operating in their lower self, stressed out, snarky selves. So many wonderful people that I've gotten to work with who, deep down, really believed that the rules didn't apply to them. They wouldn't say so out loud because that sounds pretty arrogant, but deep down there was a belief that they were smart enough and they worked hard enough that the rules don't apply. And you're thinking rules, what rules? Is there a rule book? Well, not per se.
Speaker 1:Sure, there are certain mortal limits, for instance sleep. Oh my god, if I were to get on a soapbox about any one thing, it would be sleep, so frequently, in fact, most commonly, the thing I hear from clients is how little they are sleeping. And then, when I suggest that maybe sleep quality and sleep quantity and sleep regularity and sleep consistency and all these wonderful aspects of sleep are pivotal to their ability to perform at their best individually, collectively, as leaders, they start nodding their head yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it doesn't go anywhere. And then they wonder why things are not improving. And then the ones that do take it seriously and actually take concrete steps to improve their sleep Dang things get better. Who knew who? Who knew?
Speaker 1:Additionally, nutrition Now, I don't care if you're carnivore or vegan, or plant-based or meat-based or not meat-based but animal-based, or you're paleo or whatever, I don't care but if you are shoveling sugar in your mouth 24-7, that's probably not going to be to your advantage. And so frequently, many of my clients suffer from body composition problems. What does that mean? It means they're chunky and sometimes fat. Yes, it's a real thing, and they recognize that that has an impact on them, has an impact on the way they feel about themselves in terms of their self-confidence, in terms of their relationships with their partners or if they're single, whatever, whatever ventures they're getting into, whatever, whatever ventures they're getting into. And it also has an impact because a number of my clients get the executive physical Because when you're at a high enough level, the company actually wants to insure you because you're an asset of the company, interesting as that concept may be. And so they end up going through these executive physicals and in certain instances clients of mine have been uninsurable because of what they've allowed to have happen to their bodies.
Speaker 1:So self-care is really important and there are these physiological human limits, like sleep, like nutrition, hydration, oh my God. So, speaking of hydration, I can't believe I just forgot about that momentarily. Another area where so many of my clients fight me on the necessity of hydrating a human body. I don't, I don't, yeah. So maybe I'm dipping into my own, my own confirmation bias here, I don't know, but it seems so odd to me that in this world that human beings go through an entire day drinking a single glass of water, and, granted, they're often pounding coffee like it's no tomorrow. So I guess maybe they're getting some water that way, but just regular water. And then they complain again about how often they have to go to the bathroom. I mean, really, are you serious.
Speaker 1:So you know, having proper hydration so that you're and again, for those of you I guess maybe let me back up a second and get off my high horse here yes, if you are unfamiliar, human musculature, other connective tissue, et cetera, et cetera, in the human body, in order for your brain to function properly, there are so many processes that require hydration. And so if you notice yourself having a lot of cramps, if you're having a lot of generalized muscle tension, if you're having headaches, et cetera, et cetera, there is a possibility that you are not hydrated. And adding some electrolytes salt, sodium, potassium, magnesium, you know, these basic electrolytes into your water can actually alleviate some of those physical pains. And then, especially now, granted, I know like a lot of my clients are pretty sedentary people because they're spending most of their day working at a computer, for instance, or sitting in meetings, or flying on aircraft to go to meetings, et cetera, et cetera. So, yes, you may not be some professional level triathlete or something like that, or some world-class CrossFitter or whatever, but the human body still requires nutrients and hydration. So if you're noticing some of these physiological impacts, then recognize you might be breaking some very fundamental human rules and therefore adjusting your behavior will be warranted. Now, what's another way that I see a lot of this kind of rules don't apply to me, thinking or belief coming forward?
Speaker 1:Part of it is in the failure to do the basic blocking and tackling of one's craft or profession, and that looks different, I guess, depending on what your profession is. You know, if you're a salesperson or you're in charge of a sales division, how do you do the basics of client management, meaning? Are you talking to your clients? Are you talking to your customers, checking in on them, asking them what they see wrong? Where do they have pain points? Is there a breakdown in the supply process of your company to provide the goods that the customers are buying? You know just these basics.
Speaker 1:So often we get distracted by oh well, what's the latest and greatest sales technique and how are we going to spin the revenue numbers to make it look like we're maximally profitable and et cetera, et cetera, and it's like, yeah, maybe you should just go talk to your customer and ask them where they're having some issues with you or your ability to provide the thing you said you would provide when you gave them the glossy brochure. But additionally, when it comes to leadership in particular, what are some of the basics that often get overlooked? Well, part of it is managing your schedule, and by that I mean where is it that you're buffering parts of your schedule to allow for overflow? We don't know when the overflow is going to be needed, but we do generally have a sense that things do tend to slip and slide in our schedule. Things go wrong and we do require time in order to have follow-on meetings or impromptu strategy sessions or dealing with this crisis or that crisis. We know that's going to happen. We don't know exactly when that's going to happen. We don't know exactly when that's going to happen, but can we build buffer into the schedule so that, when it does happen, we have the capacity to slide some things around and we're not locked into an overcommitted schedule already?
Speaker 1:I think that's one of the things that I've seen most often with especially CEOs is that leaders are not. There's this, I don't know. I guess I would call it this overconfidence. Well, I guess I should just call it a hubris. There's this hubris that things will go swimmingly, all the hubris. There's this hubris that things will go swimmingly and there's not sufficient buffer planned into the schedule to allow for things that are going to break and that over-optimism, if you will, ends up leading to a very crunched schedule. So I think part of this is planning to do less than you think you can actually do, expecting things to go sideways and then, when they do, having the ability to have those buffer times so that you can morph or adapt the schedule to accommodate whatever has slipped sideways. And then, if you happen to be in a week where none of that occurs, nothing goes sideways on you, great. Then you can pull more into the schedule to get ahead.
Speaker 1:Or here's a novel concept you might actually take a bit of a break and this is part of the self-care aspect is like where is it that you actually allow yourself some restoration? Where is it that you allow yourself some recovery? And here again, so frequently clients of mine are not allowing themselves any recovery. They just jump from one thing to the next, to the next, to the next and they never recharge. And so they come onto the call with me and then I hear a lot about how exhausted they are and how depleted they are. And then I say, okay, well, where are you building in recovery? Well, I don't have time for that. You don't not have time for that, because what ends up happening then is things like premature heart attacks and that's not me being what's the word I want to use here dramatic. This actually happens to clients of mine and we try to work through why it is that they're putting themselves in so much pressure 24-7. But getting to this place of actually recognizing that you have to recover in order for you to be able to perform, and it's not this linear progression of performance, it's challenging the body, challenging the mind, challenging the spirit you know you're taking a step forward and then you're taking maybe like a quarter step back, giving yourself some recovery, some ability to actually adapt to that higher level.
Speaker 1:I also notice a hubris that comes in with the basics of interpersonal conduct, and that is so frequently that we end up getting pretty slack on again what the fundamentals would be, which is congratulate people for when they do well, Draw attention to them, and for my CEO clients out there, this is not just the worker bees, but also your own team, believe it or not, other chief executives and high-ranking executives in the company, like VP and above. They still like to know they're doing a good job and that you really, truly appreciate their contribution and that you're able to call out their contribution in specific ways. When you did that thing last Tuesday the way you handled the meeting or the way that you handled that objection, or the way that you handled the tension with the client, I thought that was really masterful. I thought it was a very elevated and sophisticated way of receiving that person's criticism or their emotional upset and then transforming it into something that was really productive. That is very specific versus oh, you're doing great, yeah, I mean just yeah, great, really love having you on the team because you're doing great. I mean, yeah, that's good. I mean it feels better than being told that you suck.
Speaker 1:But it's when we get into the specifics that people begin to recognize oh, my boss is really paying attention. And it means a lot to people when you pay attention to what's going on for them. And I know, especially as a high-ranking executive, you have a lot on your plate. And part of this, part of doing the basics and adhering to the fundamentals, if you will, is developing a disciplined habit of noticing people so that you can acknowledge them and that that, in turn, helps lift them up. And then what is the cascading impact of these little ripples, right, these little ripples of positive impact, and what's interesting is we probably will never know. We'll probably never know what the cumulative grand downstream impact of us doing certain basics in our work life is, or even our home life, because this element of noticing specifics also applies at home, which I've talked about in the past, so I'm not going to redo that here. Also applies at home, which I've talked about in the past, so I'm not going to redo that here.
Speaker 1:Moreover, when it comes to interpersonal conduct, yeah, when was the last time that you checked in with people and got their feedback on you? Again, through the lens of hubris, this exaggerated pride or self-confidence? Sure, when I do a 360 with people, I have yet to do a 360, whether a big, formal one or kind of more informal stop, start, continue type of 360, where the person receiving the feedback left that experience feeling good. Oh, I know I'm like definitely hurting my sales on my 360s, but the benefit of the 360 process is that we actually do get that honest feedback from people and you know just as a quick, very, very, very small percentage or likelihood that you are just that good. More than likely, if you have gotten a 360 done and nobody offered anything negative, it's because they're scared of you and they're too afraid to give you honest feedback, because I've had some amazing bosses that I have coached who still received feedback on where they could improve.
Speaker 1:But this time for reflection and collecting people's inputs really helps us calibrate. Where am I? I want to be a really good leader. I want to be a great boss. How far am I away from the ideal image that I have of what that is?
Speaker 1:And part of that is doing the check-ins with people. Now, you can do it in a formal way or you can do it informally. You know we so frequently have performance review cycles, but they often go top down, the top reviewing the bottom, so to speak. When does it go the other way, and do you need to wait for a formal review cycle in order to make that conversation happen? Or can you more frequently build in a habit of I don't know every couple weeks or so or every four weeks or whatever works for your schedule, in a way that is not so blown out that you know like if you're only doing this annually, that's probably not effective? How can you create, like I said, a habit or a ritual around checking in with people and maybe as like a routine thing. Yeah, maybe it's something short and small and it's just like hey, what's one thing that I could improve right now and that could be transactionally? You know, maybe it's one thing on this particular project, or maybe it's chronically. Is there one thing that I seem to do over and over and over again that would really help you if I stopped doing it? Or what piece of advice would you give to somebody in my position?
Speaker 1:You know, I think so oftentimes people are afraid to give their boss direct feedback, like, hey, when you do this, it really hurts when you, I don't know, when you come parachuting in on an issue. I had one client that was referred to as the screaming eagle by his subordinates because he would I shouldn't laugh, he would, I shouldn't laugh. Anyway, he would get this, you know, he'd catch wind of something that you know he thought was going off track and then he would just come screaming into that process and upset all the work that was already being done. Most of it was already sort of, you know, mid-track, as it were, and or midstream and he would just upset the whole process, not recognizing, not taking the time to check in with people to recognize oh no, we're actually on top of it. We're getting there, we have a process that we are engaging in and you have now totally screwed all that up and you're trying to help, but your help is actually cluttering and confusing people, because we were on a plan, but you didn't stop to check in with us about what the plan was, and now you've just disrupted everything and now the person that was actually running the plan has to re-herd all the cats and get them moving in the same direction again and has to remind people no, no, no, I talked with the big boss and they are apologetic and they're stepping backwards again to get out of our way.
Speaker 1:But so frequently bosses come parachuting in and they don't recognize what's actually happening on the ground. They just see, oh, this isn't moving fast enough according to their particular perspective. And if that is actually true, if that is actually true, if there is actually a real deadline that people are about to miss, then by all means, you know you do you. But so frequently there is time in the schedule to at least ask hey, is this going according to a process or is this thing really truly off track? And so being in that space and recognizing, ah, I can check in with people about whether or not I have behaviors that are counterproductive. That can happen all the time, and there is this bit of advice that you should not wait until a formal performance review in order to give somebody corrective feedback, and I would argue that that goes both ways. Somebody who is about to receive a negative performance review should not be surprised by that. There should already have been multiple conversations happening ahead of time to let them know yeah, I am not meeting expectations.
Speaker 1:And again, I think it goes both ways. Now is the subordinate going to fire the boss? No, that's generally not how organizations work, but I think there is a way to have constructive feedback sessions that go both ways. And yes, in many instances we're going to have to recognize that our boss does have more forethought and finesse when it's going from bottom to top, and so oftentimes it's a matter of framing things like well, are you open to feedback in the first place? May I give you my perspective, recognizing that it's just one perspective, and here is where I struggle, here's where I find it difficult and maybe you can help me understand. Maybe there's something that I'm doing as the subordinate that I'm not seeing that makes our dynamic more challenged.
Speaker 1:So, in a way, yes, you are putting yourself yet again in the subordinate position, but you're there already, and so I think oftentimes, especially when speaking with a leadership figure that's above you, the ability to put yourself in that humble position allows the leader to receive things in a non-threatening way, as opposed to you suck, and I hate working for you, or I hate working with you, because if you think about yourself as the subordinate or the team member, you probably don't like it when the boss tells you you suck, so bosses are no different.
Speaker 1:Right, so bosses are no different.
Speaker 1:And trying to be more effective in the long run, even if it requires you to be more humble in the short term and to try to present your feedback more as help me understand, or I want us to have a better dynamic, and this is where I'm struggling, so you're not forcing it on them I think that often leads to a more productive conversation and that the other person actually takes away something really powerful instead of dismissing.
Speaker 1:So ultimately for today, I want to be able to give you some points that you can think about in terms of where it is that you might be engaging in hubris yourself, because it is pretty frequent and, fundamentally, how are you asking yourself the basic question of where am I engaging in an overly self-confident or an exaggeratedly self-confident or even prideful way, and that you do have that ingrained habit of checking yourself and so frequently the end answer there is to reach out to others. So hopefully this was helpful for you. If it was, I would love it. If you would like subscribe, follow, share, etc. Etc. Or don't, it's totally up to you and until next time, take care of each other.
