Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast
The Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast is a simple ongoing conversation between Travis and Dawn Rosinger as they share practical ways couples can strengthen their marriage for a lifetime of love. The Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast is an opportunity for couples to be encouraged in their marriage and be encouraged to fight for love. Hosts Travis and Dawn Rosinger spend time talking about marriage topics relevant to couples in the areas of growing intimacy, conflict resolution, spiritual growth, building relational equity, utilizing clear communication, financial stability, goal planning and much more.
Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast
Episode 150 | Avoiding Traps Designed to Destroy You and Your Marriage
Ever experienced a moment so unexpected and disastrous that you couldn't help but laugh? We did, and it involved a summer day, a beautiful lawn, a lawnmower, and a trap. We had an event happen a few days ago that left us with a memorable experience and a profound lesson.
Join Travis and Dawn Rosinger as they explore traps that are designed to destroy your marriage and life along with key actions you can take to avoid them. They'll share insights on how focusing on Jesus, being vigilant and aware of evil, and fleeing from temptation will bring you victory and safety. Get ready to laugh, learn, and gain wisdom from this unique yet compelling episode. It's an intriguing blend of real-life experiences and profound wisdom that you don't want to miss.
Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping - What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You
For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight
Welcome to the loving the fight marriage podcast. My name is Don and I'm sitting here with my husband and my co-host, travis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm here. It's so good to be back with you, don, and great to be back with everybody that's listening out there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I have to admit. Right now I'm a little bit distracted from recording this podcast because I have a big box of sugar babies sitting right in front of me and I keep wondering how I can eat this amazing candy and still speak and not sound like there's rocks in my mouth.
Speaker 2:I was going to say you can keep eating and record this podcast, but it's going to be a mess. It will. If you guys don't know it, it'll be a total train wreck.
Speaker 1:If you don't know what sugar babies are, they are it says in the box delicious candy coated milk, caramels and man they're amazing they're. It's in a red and yellow box and like these little. They look like the size of an M&M, but it's their caramel. It's great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's spectacular, but I think what you're really doing, don, is you're confessing to the world that you are addicted to candy.
Speaker 1:I really like candy. But the problem with why I'm really tempted by these sugar babies right now is because I opened the box we just bought and they're not hard. They're actually soft and a lot of times sugar babies are hard and they get stuck in your teeth and you got to make sure that they're not pulling out fillings. But these are soft ones, so they're so good, Anyways they're really good, but those are summer sugar babies.
Speaker 2:If you eat winter sugar babies in Minnesota, you're going to break your teeth, because everything's hard in Minnesota in the winter because it's 80 below zero.
Speaker 1:Well, that was obviously a huge distraction from this podcast, but just wanted to be honest with you guys. I do love candy and there is a temptation right in front of me, but I'm going to withhold because we love recording. We love spending time with you guys. We have coming off of a fun week, just taking summer and squeezing every single thing that we can out of it on our scooters, driving all over town, going to music festivals or the concerts out in the park, walking around the lakes, bonfires with people, man, just everything that we can to be outside.
Speaker 2:It's been good. Yeah, we went to a concert last Wednesday night outside and one of the lakes here in the Twin Cities If you ever get to Minneapolis, you got to go to Lake Harriet, lake Calhoun yeah, the ban shell, yeah, the ban shell. But we had a great time with our friends that showed up. We all brought our own different kinds of foods. I loaded up, we decided we were going to grab something to go and then we're like, why not? Or just maybe bring something from home, let's do a picnic supper.
Speaker 2:And so I made the biggest, baddest peanut butter and jelly sandwich anybody has ever seen. Not fancy, super, you know low culture, but I loved it.
Speaker 1:It was mind blowing. I wish people could see your peanut butter and I think I've talked about it before after this is like our 150th something episode, but your peanut butter is like an inch thick. Yeah, I look at it, in my mouth salivates or I get that feeling in my throat that I need to drink something.
Speaker 2:Like you're going to choke on peanut butter. Yeah, the peanut butter is rough, but but you know my peanut butter inside my peanut butter and jelly is a lot like your candy, like your downing candy, and I love it thick with the peanut butter.
Speaker 1:Well, you know what? Again a big sidetrack on with our episode today yes. So, in the midst of all the fun that we've been having this summer, we still have to be responsible adults. Every week, we're making sure that we're going to work, working hard, making sure that we are keeping up on the house and all the yardwork, and so actually, we got the idea from this episode that we are recording right now, because it's something that happened while we were taking care of our yard just a few days ago.
Speaker 2:Something very tragic that happened, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:As we're trying to be responsible, something tragic happens in our own front yard, so we wanted to share this with you because all of a sudden, we're like man, this is actually teaching us a great lesson. What we were working out in the yard just a few days ago after getting back from a day trip to Duluth, so we were playing all day. But we're like, okay, we got to get some yard work done so we can enjoy our Friday. And I was in the garage. I was grabbing the rake and some yard tools to help clean up some of the shrubs and pull some extra weeds that we had, and all of a sudden I heard you jump on your rider lawnmower and you started it up and then, after like 30 seconds, there was this horrible noise.
Speaker 2:Horrible.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I can't even explain to you what it sound like. It was just horrible. I knew that you either hit something or something exploded, I don't know. So I ran over the garage and at that moment you jumped off of the rider lawnmower and you're like oh no, I can't believe it. I can't believe I hit that and I want you to continue on with the story.
Speaker 2:And, by the way, the sound it was probably like the sound of somebody dragging a pig down the road at like 80 miles an hour.
Speaker 1:It was a horrible sound.
Speaker 2:It sounded like somebody was killing a demon. Like it was wild that's one good way to explain it? Yeah, I don't know, but I jumped on my lawnmower. I was so amped to mow the lawn because you know a lot of people don't know that. Listen. But we often have friends and neighbors that come by and they're like man, you got one of the best lawns in the neighborhood.
Speaker 1:We're taking care of our lawn, making sure it looks nice.
Speaker 2:We tried to, yeah at least our front yard A backyard.
Speaker 1:No one can see the backyard, so it's just a front yard, but the front yard looks great.
Speaker 2:So I jumped on my lawnmower, I started to get going and this is the part that's. You know, it's kind of edged out. There's some really nice landscaping. So I have to go slow and I'm watching off to one side because I'm wanting to cut it just really really nice. But right up on the edge I want to make sure that I'm not missing any of the grass, but not going too far into the landscaping.
Speaker 1:And following the edging on our shrubs.
Speaker 2:Basically, yeah, that's kind of what you're following up, following it around, yes, and then I'm going to go back and really slow, literally the first like 20 feet, and then all of a sudden I hit it and, like you said, don, it was the most hideous noise ever to have been heard on planet earth Horrible, horrible noise. And immediately I was like whatever I hit, I just ruined my very expensive riding lawnmower Right.
Speaker 1:Well then I remembered what. I hit. What were you going to say? When I came out there and you said that you hit it? I knew exactly what you hit. I'm like no way. How could you hit this? And I want you to explain what was it that you hit. That was right in the middle. You should have saw it and boom, you didn't.
Speaker 2:I know I totally messed that. First when I hit it I didn't know what it was, and then I, immediately after I was, you know, kind of in disbelief that I probably just broke my really expensive lawnmower. Then I was like, oh man, I know exactly what it is. So here's what it was.
Speaker 1:Guys, we have a mole that shows up and he digs holes every now and then this critter that we're trying to catch because we live on the edge of some woods, and so they come into our yard a lot and we're like oh, we're going to get them, we're going to get them. So we have these traps and this poison and whatever we're trying to do to get these molds.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we get them sometimes, but I had left a metal trap, big metal trap, a nice metal trap that you had In the yard.
Speaker 2:You did, and I proceeded to mow and I'm going back and forth a lot, you know. Again, following that really carved out nice landscaping line but I failed to look in front of me. I was paying such perfect attention to what was happening on the side of the lawnmower that I failed to pay attention of what was in front of me and again I hit my own trap. This was a trap for a creature, for somebody else, for something else. It wasn't meant for me. But then I take my really expensive lawnmower and I draw, I drive right over my trap and everything goes sideways.
Speaker 1:I run out of the garage you say you know you can't believe you hit it. And I knew what you hit and I was like I can't believe you hit it, like it was right there. We all knew it was there.
Speaker 2:It's big. We had seen this trap. It was staring at me, right in front of me.
Speaker 1:Wow, and I think I questioned you. I'm like, really, yeah, how is that possible? And I was trying not to get frustrated because it seemed so obvious that it was there. But we knew I'm so thankful that you are a pretty handy guy. So we're like okay, let's problem solve this. You tried to start it. It wasn't starting, so we put it in Ust-ur-Aul.
Speaker 2:No, wait, wait, wait, wait. We tried to start it and all hell broke.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, oh yes, because the trap was still under there. It was still under there.
Speaker 2:There's big metal trap being hit by two big metal blades. It was awful.
Speaker 1:So I think at that point you lifted the blade right. You were able to lift up the blade a little bit. You grabbed the metal trap which is now you can't use it. It's a mess, it's just a mangle.
Speaker 2:Oh it's mangled.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's ruined Mangle actually threw it in the garbage and you pull it out of there. And so then you jumped on your lawnmower again, tried to start it and it didn't start. So we knew that you had to fix something. So we put it in neutral, pushed it back to the driveway. I ran to the garage and got one of your car ramps because we're like, well, we got to get it up.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So we I brought the car ramp over and we pushed half of it up there one of the wheels and you were able to look and the blade was still on. We were excited that it was still on, but it was just really loose. So this trap just loosened it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I thought I had broken the shaft that the blade actually attaches to, but I didn't. You're right, it was just loose, and so all I had to do is get a couple massive wrenches and I was able to re-tighten the blade down really, really tight.
Speaker 1:And I was praying because the last time last year when we had to get our mower fixed, it was like 300 bucks. I was like God, please let him be able to fix it so we don't have to bring it in. It's not easy to bring out riding lawn mower and we actually had someone come pick it up, but it worked. And then you jumped back on there and you started it and it didn't make a funky noise and I mowed the lawn.
Speaker 2:I got it done. Yes, oh my gosh, we saved hundreds of dollars and, yeah, I lost a trap, but it taught us a lesson.
Speaker 1:It taught me a lesson, definitely taught us a lesson, and we're still going after that mold. We'll get them on these days. If you guys have any good tips, let us know.
Speaker 2:Well, hey guys, we tell you that story today because it so relates to our lives as humans and our marriages and our relationships. I mean, it's just absolutely a great example. And here's what we mean. There are traps in our lives that are right, smack dab in front of us and sometimes we still don't see them. I mean, they're right there, they're looking at us. They're probably shouting at us Don't come this way, you're headed for destruction. But what do we do with our lives, with our relationships? We will run right into them, and I think part of the problem is that we have an enemy. If you are a follower of Jesus, if you have a marriage that is Christ-centered, you have an enemy. He's the evil one and he is constantly setting traps and he's hoping that we will walk into them.
Speaker 1:Or not see them, like you didn't with your lawnmower, and run over them and get entangled.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I'm looking the wrong direction, I'm distracted, and that's exactly what the evil one wants with your marriage, with your life, with your relationship with God. I mean, the evil one is trying to ensnare us with his dumb little bag of tricks.
Speaker 1:Well, you guys, we're not talking about physical traps like the mole trap that Travis ran over, but other traps in life that get us so tangled up and off track and can end up paralyzing us. So what kind of traps? So here are some examples. Again, we're not talking about physical traps like that trap that the mole was in, but, honestly, traps that we can get stuck in. So, for example, a comparison trap. A comparison trap is just always comparing yourself or your spouse to someone else. What did they say? There's not a win in comparison, because you can't be someone else, your spouse can't be someone else. So stop comparing.
Speaker 2:And that one's so easy to slip into, to fall into with social media and with other people getting ahead in different areas, that you might not be getting head in so easy to fall into that.
Speaker 1:Another trap that may sound familiar is just the criticizing trap the trap where you're always or constantly criticizing another person or your spouse, just looking for the bad and not seeing the good. Or the fantasy trap, where you're dreaming, you're fantasizing what life would be like with another person. How about the unforgiveness trap, where you have done something or your spouse has done something to you, and then there needs to be a forgiveness that is either extended or received, and you're refusing. You're just stuck in an unforgiveness mode and you can't move forward.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and again, this is such an easy one and I think, partly because of our pride and when somebody wrongs us, it's like no, I don't want to forgive you, and I think we're all human it's hard to want to give in and not fall for that trap. Right, it sure is. And then a couple of other ones. We have the negativity trap. I mean, that's just a spiral downward and it's really tough to come back from when you start to get very negative, maybe about your spouse or about the people around you and your life, and these are just not the way that God wanted us to live or wants us to live, or the words that God wants us to use. Or the wrong people trap. I've fallen into this where I'm hanging out with people thinking they're great, when in reality they're pulling me down. They're not the ones lifting me up, like I need people around me to do, and so having the wrong people in your life is a huge trap.
Speaker 1:It is a trap, something that you can get stuck in and you can't move forward because they're holding you back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then one of the worst is substance abuse trap. But of course we're talking about chemicals or alcohol or whatever it might be, but there's a ton of other substances or addictions really that we're talking about and that's such a big trap. It's almost like we're all weak in different areas and we've got to be careful about that.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that you are familiar with a lot of those traps that we just mentioned, and we know that there's many more, but the importance is just to know that there are traps that are set all around us. So, because of that, because we know that, because we know that there's an enemy, there's something we know, there's things that we can do to avoid the traps, to avoid running them over, getting your foot stuck in there, getting stuck so you can't move forward in life. So how? How do we avoid the traps? And the first one is simply this and I keep thinking back to the trousers, lawnmowers like open your eyes, keep your eyes open and look straight ahead at what's in front of you.
Speaker 2:I'm sure that's exactly what you thought when I hit it. And I'm like I hit it. I hit it and you're like what did you hit? And I know you're thinking why did you hit it? All you had to do was open your eyes, look straight ahead.
Speaker 1:So opening your eyes is looking straight ahead and keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus. Hebrews 12, 2 says fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and the perfecter of our faith. Our vision, our eyes should be fixed on him. When our eyes are fixed on him, we're not looking at other things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't go wrong, you're not going to go off the path, you're not going to hit a trap man. That is the right thing to do. I would also say be on guard, just be on guard. We forget that we are soldiers and we're in a battle. There is a war that is being fought all around us, and so we need to be looking for traps. We need to be looking for evil that is ready to pounce on us.
Speaker 2:I know one of the scriptures that I love so much. It's in Genesis, chapter four, verse six and seven. God is talking to Cain, abel's brother, adam and Eve's son, and he says to him he's like why are you so angry? Why is your face so downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? And then he says these words but if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door. It desires to have you, but you must master it, and that's why this is so important. Be on your guard, be looking for this, this sin, the evil that's crouching at your door. Why? Because it has a desire to enslave you. When it wants to master you, it means you get to be enslaved, and that is not a good place to be.
Speaker 1:How do we avoid traps? You run like literally run away. Say no when temptations come. Say no and walk or run the other way. Second Timothy states it like this, and I love the word. Second Timothy, 222. It says flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. When I think of that word flee, I'm just. I see people just running. Run as fast as you can get away from the trap, don't let it grab on you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, this is pretty active, right. This is pretty like I'm going to not sit here and take this and fall into a trap. I'm going to run the other way and get as far away as I possibly can from this sinful moment or this evil that's trying to pounce on me. I mean, that's why he says flee the evil desires. He's not talking about good, he's not talking about something that's just shiny and it's not going to hurt you, like your little sugar babies, candy that tastes good. No, he's talking like this is going to spiritually kill you, and that's what's so cool about what the Bible says when it comes to dealing with traps. Sin and evil is trying to kill us. But here's the thing we need to be on the offensive. We need to kill our own flesh. What does that mean? We need to crucify it. In Galatians, chapter five, verse 24, it says those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. That is like violence in a spiritual sense.
Speaker 2:It's like you're running and then you're killing your flesh. You're like not only am I going to run from evil, I'm not going to put up with it in my own being, in my own self.
Speaker 1:I know that sounds strong, but, man, that is one amazing way to avoid the trap. Lastly, a way to avoid the trap is destroy the source. Destroying I love it says kill it and flee and destroy.
Speaker 1:These are strong words because these traps can really cause a lot of damage. So we need to make sure that we are just attacking those traps and not letting them attack us, so destroying the source. In Matthew 529, it says this if your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away, it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away, it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Get rid of it, destroy it. I mean, they're not even just getting rid of it, they're destroying their source. They are pulling their, gouging out their right eye.
Speaker 1:They're throwing it away. They don't want it in their life.
Speaker 2:And these are the words of Jesus. Jesus is, in other words, he's saying look, don't let these traps. If your eye is a trap, if your hand is a trap, whatever that source is, you need to get rid of it, and for some of you, it's accountability and it's being with a group of people that will also strengthen you and remind you of what you believe and who you should be in Jesus.
Speaker 1:I love how that simple thing that happened Well, I guess it wasn't simple running over the mole trap with your lawnmower how it brought out just such clarity in the area of traps. And like there are really hard traps all around us, like little mines, like man, are we going to set them up, but we have to just make sure that we're on guard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's be honest. All they had to do is see the trap in front of me and either avoid it back up or get off the lawnmower and rip it out of the ground. That's like plucking your eye out or cutting your arm off. But I needed to do something kind of violent with that trap and I wouldn't have hit it with my lawnmower.
Speaker 1:And you know what that would have done? It would have saved us time, it would have saved us money. We wouldn't have had to get rid of a trap and, honestly, life just would have been a little bit easier. Yeah, I would have avoided the panic of thinking I ruined my lawnmower.
Speaker 2:Guys, here's what this comes down to. This whole episode, don, and I wanted to share these scriptures with you, challenge you about traps, the trap that we ran into. Why? Because God wants you to win the war, the battle in your life, for your marriage, for your relationship with Jesus, and God is fighting for you and he wants you to be strong, he wants you to be aware. But the reality is you've got to do some things, and part of that is just making sure you look straight ahead, keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus.
Speaker 1:With that, we want to thank you for listening to this episode of the Loving the Fight Marriage Podcast. Remember, you can do it. You got this. Keep loving the fight, we'll see you next time.