Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast
The Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast is a simple ongoing conversation between Travis and Dawn Rosinger as they share practical ways couples can strengthen their marriage for a lifetime of love. The Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast is an opportunity for couples to be encouraged in their marriage and be encouraged to fight for love. Hosts Travis and Dawn Rosinger spend time talking about marriage topics relevant to couples in the areas of growing intimacy, conflict resolution, spiritual growth, building relational equity, utilizing clear communication, financial stability, goal planning and much more.
Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast
Episode 151 | It’s Time to Fill Up and Replenish Your Marriage
Have you ever just hit a wall and felt completely depleted and empty spiritually? It’s hard as a person to have this happen and can be even harder on your marriage. Having strong leadership in your relationship as a couple and being full spiritually can and will keep you moving forward into all that God has for your marriage and to keep it strong for the future!
Join hosts, Travis and Dawn Rosinger, as they get vulnerable and share how they have felt empty and in need of a chance to refill their spiritual and leadership buckets knowing it would have a much needed, positive impact on their marriage. This is an episode that will encourage you to not accept the status quo for your life and relationship!
Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping - What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You
For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight
Well, here we are and there you are. How cool that we get to be together again. With that, I want to welcome you to the Loving the Fight Marriage Podcast. My name is Dawn and I'm sitting here with my husband and also my co-host, travis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're back, and we also understand that there are some of you that are listening again, but there are some of you that have never listened before, and so we're glad that you tuned in. We are going to have a great time today, but what makes it so special is that you're listening, and we love getting to know you better.
Speaker 1:You know, there's something kind of funny that happened to us this week not only once, but twice.
Speaker 2:How's that possible?
Speaker 1:I mean you guys know we are scooter fans, and what is a scooter? It's kind of like a moped. So in particular, we drive Vespas around town, through Minneapolis, anywhere we can go. Well, wednesday was our day off at, or actually in their evening off, and so we decided that we were going to go out on a date, because we have Thursdays and Fridays off as pastors. So we jump on our Vespas and we first we checked the weather to make sure that the weather was well and we're like, oh great, we're going to go downtown, go to the lakes, walk around them, you know, hopefully listen to a band and come back. Well, we got about 10 or 15 minutes past our house and all of a sudden this guy got really gray.
Speaker 1:And we're like wait, this wasn't on the forecast. We checked and sure enough, it started raining and raining, so we pulled off. Like hard raining we pulled off and we actually just sat under our tree. We didn't have our rain coats with this time because we didn't think it was going to rain. Well, we sat there and we sat there, and we sat there, so much so that there was a gentleman looking at us from his house across the street.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like diagonal across the street he waved us in because all of a sudden it started pouring. He waved us in to come sit in his garage, which was so, so kind, but we're also trying to be wise in that. So we're like, nah, we probably shouldn't go into some strange.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've never met him before he shot us in and took us. Super nice of him though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, unbelievably nice. Well, we sat there for about 30 minutes and we realized this server isn't going to get better Like this. Clouds had stopped right on top of us. So we had two options either kind of try to jump on our scooter and drive to Minneapolis to the lakes, or just go home and call it a night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and this is the part of you know, the movie, the story when the killer gets their victim. This is the bad part, right? This is when our story goes really, really bad.
Speaker 1:Yes, we made the decision to just drive home. So we started going home and, instead of the rain getting lighter and lighter, it actually got harder. So hard and just man, big, huge drops and it began to hurt.
Speaker 2:We thought it was hail at one point and then the rain was hitting me. You know certainly in like my forehead, on my cheeks, but it was hitting my lips. It was yep, and I thought it was like needles going into my lips. It hurt so bad.
Speaker 1:You know what? Travis was driving this scooter, and so I was able to kind of hide behind you.
Speaker 2:You probably didn't know that.
Speaker 1:But I was like oh my word, this is really painful.
Speaker 2:Well, go ahead. That's called a meat shield, by the way, a meat shield, like I, was your flesh that got to shield you from the danger, from the pain.
Speaker 1:Well, we get home and we dry off and we change our clothes and we were like, well, it's date night. Well, so then what do we do? We go to Sam's club, and that was our date. We actually needed some stuff, but we did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we went shopping for food, but we were kind of discouraged after the rain started.
Speaker 1:That's the next day. What happens?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, who would ever guess we?
Speaker 1:decide oh, we're going to go again to the lakes. For a different scooter ride For a different scooter ride and we began to this time. We made it there, we went all around the lakes and on the way home, all of a sudden in the distance, I think no way. There's a big, huge storm coming again and boom, boom, boom, round two, Round two of crazy rain on our. Vespa scooter moped, whatever I don't know they're called. What are they called?
Speaker 2:Like these pop up showers, oh, pop up showers. So we've never heard of it before.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we've been having those lately and man just rain like two inches, they said in that hour.
Speaker 2:It did it like flooded in certain places, and what's so crazy is that you and I have been riding scooters. I think I got mine back in 07. And so we've been driving scooters for a long time and we've never gotten caught in a downpour, let alone two in two days. One right after another, just soaked to the bone, had to take off our clothes. It was horrible.
Speaker 1:Well, you think that would discourage us from being scooter drivers and wanting to go, and it actually made us more excited. We were out today, driving all around the town as much as we could, went to the art fair, just had a great time. So how fun. We're not gonna give up on our hobby, but I can't believe it happened twice when it didn't happen at all. For like the last five years.
Speaker 2:All right, enough of that. I'm tired of being wet or talking about being wet. We're gonna go a different direction. We spent some time indoors and Don. There's something that kinda led up to the two days that we just spent inside this week as well.
Speaker 1:Yep, absolutely. You know, a few months ago we were talking and we were both realizing that our tanks were getting kind of empty and we knew it was time to fill up. So when I say tanks, what am I talking about? Honestly, I'm talking about, like, our spiritual tanks, our mental tanks, our leadership tanks.
Speaker 1:We knew that it was time to stop and go and just really find a conference or some type of getaway to fill up spiritually. And this is something that we've done in the last 27 years as being in the ministry. We've always found something once a year where we can just get away and just kinda get that fire hose of wisdom and knowledge and encouragement. And so this last week, a couple days ago, we did that. We did exactly what we knew that we needed to do and so we went to the Global Leadership Summit here in our city and it was amazing at Blue Our Minds.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, now, we were just watching. It was a satellite site to actually be in broadcast from Chicago, but it was right here in our city that we got to go to this gorgeous, beautiful church and sit there and wow, yes, don, you nailed it. It blew our minds the level of just filling us up and filling us up, encouragement and, like you said, the spiritual side, but even the wisdom man, so much wisdom, it was insane.
Speaker 1:You know what is the Global Leadership Summit? Maybe some of you are thinking because you've never heard of it before, but honestly, it's two days of some of the most amazing leaders that shared wisdom and leadership principles. It was incredible, and when I say some of the grades, I'm talking top-notch, top-level leaders. But why is this important? Why is it important for us to go and to get filled up? Well, in Matthew 5-6, it says this "'Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. You will be filled if you are thirsting for hunger and thirst, and you're gonna be filled'".
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, what's so cool about this passage, too, is it really talks about a desire. You have to have a desire to want to be filled, and he's relating it to water. But having that or food, and having that hunger and that thirst, and that's really where we are at. That's where your tank is empty. It's like, okay, I need to be filled, I need some food, I need spiritual food, water, and I just need somebody to fill me up, a God to fill me up. But then just the idea that we can get empty, that's what Jesus is pointing at. You can be empty and so if you hunger and thirst for the right things, you'll get filled up. Which?
Speaker 1:is so encouraging. I'm so glad to know, when we feel that our tanks are getting empty, that there's something, somehow, some way we can do to make sure that those tanks are filled. Well, we just wanted to share with you today some of the takeaways that we just learned or pondered the last couple of days, and really what that has to do with marriage, because we are all leaders. No matter where you're at in your life, you are leading someone. But if you think about it in your home, think about it, you're leading your spouse, you're leading your kids. I mean all the different leadership positions or titles that you have just being married.
Speaker 2:Yeah, being married and being a spouse really you're a leader, like you're mentioning, but that could be one of the most important jobs that we have while we're alive on the planet. And I know for me, one of the big highlights takeaways that I had was from a guy named James Clear. He's the one that wrote the book Atomic Habits, and here's what he said, and I think it really applies to marriage. He says time will magnify whatever you feed it, and I don't know why, but I think of somebody who's sitting on a couch and they're just eating a big old bag of chips or a bowl of a buffalo wild wings.
Speaker 2:And they're just filling themselves with tons and tons of food or garbage and that's all they do for like 10 years straight. Well, what's going to happen? They're just. They're not going to get smarter because they're watching TV and then they're just eating garbage and so they won't be in shape. And so time does magnify whatever you feed it. But in reality, when it comes to your marriage, you know if you feed your marriage over time the things that it needs, like you and I. Just the last couple of days, yeah, we went to a conference, but we also got to go on a couple of days, and so that man that just fed our marriage with so much of what we need romance, of new experiences together.
Speaker 1:It was great he actually hit the ball out of the park. I just want to go ahead and talk about Craig Gruchel Now. He started off the leadership summit and he talked a lot about trust and talking about the future of leadership is trust. And then he went in and kind of gave a formula to how to build trust and he said this transparency plus empathy plus consistency equals trust, and you need all three. You have to build that transparency. What does that mean? I mean being honest, being open and if I think about just being with you know, in the sense of marriage trust. I need to be transparent with you of everything open and honest, empathy. I have to be concerned about you. If you're going through something tough, I want to make sure that my heart is there, that I'm in it with you. And then consistently, what are we doing consistently in our marriage to build trust? Again, transparency plus empathy plus consistency equals trust.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so good and I think it just helps us in life period, just so that other people that we lead outside of our home, that we can show that empathy, so that we can, you know, be that person that is able to build that trust with others. Here's another great takeaway, kind of a highlight, from the conference. It's from Jamie Kern Lima. Here's what she said. She said rejection is God's protection and I thought, wow, that's kind of weird, tell me more. She went on and she said you weren't rejected. God just hid your value from them because they are not assigned with your destiny.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's so good. Yeah, I was like, wow, what?
Speaker 2:a wild way of looking at rejection, and that is, I think, so true, because we take rejection personally and we think, oh, they just don't like me or they just don't value the good things that God has put inside of me. And the reality is, god might be just sending you a different direction. Yeah, Maybe the door you were trying to walk through wasn't the one that God had for your future, and so that's all she was saying. Was man, god's, you know, the rejection is God's protection. He's keeping you away from a life and people you don't need to be around.
Speaker 1:I think one of my greatest takeaways and maybe it was just more personal to me came from Erwin McManus, and he wrote the book Mindshift. It doesn't take a genius to think like one. And I like Erwin McManus because he actually calls you to greatness. He kind of calls, encourages you and is like man, go after God, he's got so much for you.
Speaker 1:Well, the last couple weeks, travis, there was a question I actually asked you like three or four times. I was pondering it and I was like man, why do I always feel like there's something more, like we should be doing more in our life? I'm always evaluating. And in the middle, as he was speaking, he said this and it just it's like one of those things that someone says and, man, it just grips you and you're like you know that that's right for you. And he said there is always a voice inside of us calling us to more.
Speaker 1:And the reason why that hit me so much is because I asked you I'm like, travis, is that normal? Like I always want, like what should we do more? What can we do better? How can we serve? And it was just it's constantly there, but it was nice to hear that he actually said that he believed that, again, he's not God, he's a man. But he went on to say it's because God has not called us to live ordinary or normal lives. He has called us to live a life with purpose. He has called us to make sure that we are not living those ordinary lives and that's why we have that desire, that voice in us calling us to more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, god has called us to live the extraordinary lives. Or the extraordinary lives why? Because we serve an extraordinary God and with God all things are possible. And so, yeah, you've been battling that question for a couple of weeks and you got your answer, and I think it pertains so much to marriage, because I think, even in our marriage, that God has called us to more.
Speaker 1:So if you're listening today, honestly think about your marriage. Think about God hasn't called you and your spouse to live ordinary, normal lives. He's called you for so much more.
Speaker 2:And if God has called you for more, what does that mean? It means don't settle, don't settle. Another one that really stands out to me was former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Here's what she said that her mom and dad taught her down in the deep south of the United States when she was growing up and segregated America. Here's what she said her mom and dad taught her there are no victims. She went on to say the moment you see yourself as a victim, you give ownership of that part of your life to someone else. And that was just so powerful. Because I want to own myself, I want God to own me. I don't want to give ownership of myself. Well, I'm a victim, and so the person that hurts me. Now they get to own a piece of me, or maybe it's an experience that hurt me, and now I'm just giving ownership of that part of my life to evil to Satan and like, okay, now I'm weak and he's strong and he's got that over me.
Speaker 2:No way, I like what she said. There are no victims so powerful.
Speaker 1:Well, the last thing I just wanted to share. Honestly, I keep going through my booklet. I took so many notes and I could just every single speaker that spoke there was just a nugget of wisdom that I was able to take away. But people like Ryan Leake and like Travis and Condoleezza Rice.
Speaker 1:But I think I have to go back to Henry Cloud, dr Henry Cloud, and I think the reason that it jumped out to me again I just it came down to trust and he just really kind of went back after what Craig Rochelle commented on when it came to trust and there's five different things that you need to do to look for in people that you trust and to help build trust, because we can't do anything without trust. So his five things were understanding, motive, ability, character and track record, and he went into detail on all of these things. But I just again was reminded that the sometimes the bedrock to relationships is that trust. If it's not there, go ahead and try to build it, and that's so important in Marriage. Charles, if I didn't trust you, our relationship would honestly be a wreck right now. But we have to keep working at trusting each other. We have to make sure that if there's been mistrust in the past, to make sure that we're dealing with any unforgiveness and making sure that we're having that. That is the bedrock of our marriage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so good, so good. Well, why is it important to stop life and to take the time to fill up? Why have we gone to like 25 years worth of conferences?
Speaker 1:Yeah, why are we drawn to that? Yeah?
Speaker 2:Why did we do that this time? Yeah, why do we try to, almost every morning, wake up and read the Bible or listen to podcasts or, you know, fill up our souls and our lives with the more that you are talking about? Well, I think a big piece of that is because, if you don't, you'll have nothing to give others, including your spouse. So true, and God has called us, every single one of us on this earth that followed Jesus. He has called us to be givers. He's called us to be people who help fill others up and replenish them and encourage them. I know also, it's really important to get filled up because in order to acquire wisdom, you have to pursue it, yeah, but it doesn't just come finding you.
Speaker 1:you have to actually stop and pursue wisdom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like a hunter going after its prey and hunting, and hunting until it gets its prey, and now it gets the benefits. It gets to eat a big meal. Right, it gets to. This hunter gets to feed his family. Well, the Bible actually tells us that we should get wisdom. It says go and get it. And so much so. Of course, we know from the Bible that there's an entire book called Proverbs that is dedicated to wisdom. But in Proverbs, chapter four, verse seven, it says the beginning of wisdom is this get wisdom.
Speaker 1:It seems so obvious, kind of to the point, it's so true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it says though it costs you all, you have get understanding. Like it's going to cost you everything, but it's the one thing you need to do get wisdom.
Speaker 1:Another reason that we need to stop life and take time to fill up is because it gives us when we do that. It gives us encouragement and fresh vision. It turns up the volume of God in your life and lowers the volume of the world and culture. When we were at that conference the last couple of days, I wasn't thinking about the world, I wasn't thinking about culture. I was honestly just thinking about God and thinking about the plans and the purpose and the calling he has on my life and man. It was incredible and that's why it's so important to take those times and either get away or just stop, find a conference and allow yourself to fill up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got to do it because I know you and I both walked away and I feel spiritually full.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so do I.
Speaker 2:I felt, like I just ate this huge spiritual banquet buffet of food. Buffet of wisdom and just walked away with wisdom, but also walked away with spiritual encouragement and yeah, extremely encouraged.
Speaker 1:Another reason is this it helps us to see if we are on the right track and the right path in life or if we need to change direction. Sometimes we're just running in life in one direction and we don't stop and evaluate and we later on we would go so far and then we realized, oh no, I'm going the wrong direction. Well, when you're constantly taking the time, at least once a year, to fill up, you're going to be reminded if you're going in that right direction or not, because every single speaker it made you really just think through your life.
Speaker 2:Again, jesus said blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. So why pursue wisdom? Why go to a conference? Why get away and really just open your eyes and your heart to what God has for you? Well, lastly, ultimately you become a better leader because of it, you do yeah.
Speaker 2:And you alluded to this earlier, don Every single one of us. We're a leader on some level. We lead ourselves, we help lead our spouse, our home, our family, we help lead our community and, as followers of Jesus, yeah, we're following Him. We're good followers. That's what great leadership starts with is great followership, but we're also, then, leading people behind us, and so we want to get better. We need to get better as leaders and as husbands and wives.
Speaker 1:I know some of you may be thinking well, how do I find conferences, how do I find places to get away to get encouraged? Honestly, I Google it. I sometimes I'll just stop and he'll be like okay, christian conferences in 2023. And I see what comes up and I look through the dates and I read about them. Or some of my favorite people Bob Gough or Jensen Franklin or other people that I really trust and look to as great leaders I'll jump on their websites and I'll be like when are they going to be speaking in X or do they have a conference? I search them out, we find them.
Speaker 1:The global leadership summit someone invited us to. We had been a part of it for a while, but someone had invited us the last year, so we went, and then this year, and now next year we're thinking like let's go to Chicago, let's actually go to the conference, because here we did it when they're in the satellite, but it'd be great to just sit in those seats and just get filled up, but I know there's other conferences, so just be intentional finding those conferences, or maybe you can't get away for a whole weekend.
Speaker 1:Honestly, there's so many things online that you can find. You can find conferences that have already been recorded or you can pay for them, just whatever it takes to take that time to be like you know what. This is my time to fill up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we fill up our cars with gas, we fill up our motorcycles or scooters. Man, you can't get down the road of life without filling up yourself spiritually.
Speaker 1:Well, we want to thank you for listening to this episode of the Loving the Fight Marriage Podcast. Remember, you can do it. You got this. Keep loving the fight.
Speaker 2:We'll see you next time.