This bonus episode is inspired from a random creative burst I had this morning . I'm in my do phase , the kids are having their screen time and I've had an extra day of work this week and I feel caught up for the first time , and I can't remember how long , and suddenly , like a miracle , I can feel my creative spark and nudging me from just outside the corner of my eye . I'm not sure where the spark went or why , or even when , but this morning I can feel it humming again and I'm so pleased . It's really an integral part of who I am , and it wasn't until this morning , when I felt it's hum again , that I even realised that it had been missing . So here we are . I'm hoping this is the return of my creative side .
Speaker 2Welcome to Raising Wildlings , a podcast about parenting , alternative education and stepping into the wilderness However that looks with your family .
Speaker 1Each week , we'll be interviewing experts that truly inspire us to answer your parenting and education questions . We'll also be sharing stories from some incredible families that took the leap and are taking the road less travelled .
Speaker 2Wear your hosts , vicki and Nikki from Wildlings Forest School , popping your headphones , settle in and join us on this next adventure .
Speaker 1Today's spark was inspired by our post by the insanely creative Elizabeth Gilbert , the author of Eat , pray , love and Big Magic . If you don't follow her , she's just a wonderful positive force in the world and particularly if you're going through grief , she is just magic with the ways of words around grief . So I'm going to read her post to you first . Not this , dear ones . Most of us , at some point in our lives , unless we've done everything perfectly which is nobody we'll have to face a terrible moment in which we realise that we have somehow ended up in the wrong place , or at least in a very bad place . Maybe we will have to admit that we're in the wrong job or the wrong relationship , with the wrong people around us , living in the wrong neighbourhood , acting out the wrong behaviours , using the wrong substances , pretending to believe things that we no longer believe , pretending to be something we were never meant to be . This moment of realisation is seldom fun . In fact , it's usually terrifying . I call this moment of realisation not this , because sometimes that's all you know . At such a moment , all you know is not this . Sometimes that's all you can know . All you know is that some deep life force within you is saying not this and it won't be silenced . Your body is saying not this , your heart is saying not this , your soul is saying not this , but your brain can't bring itself to say not this because that would cause a serious problem . The problem is you don't have a plan B in place . This is the only life you have . This is the only job you have . This is the only spouse you have . This is the only house you have . Your brain says it may not be great , but we have to put up with it because there are no other options . You're not sure how you got here to this place of this , but you sure as hell don't know how to get out . So your brain says we need to keep putting up with this because this is all we have . But still , beating like a quiet drum , your body and your heart and your soul keep saying not this , not this , not this , not this .
Speaker 1I think some of the bravest people I have ever met were people who had the courage to say the words not this out loud , even before they had an alternative plan . People who walked out of bad situations without knowing if there was a better situation on the horizon . People who looked at the life they were in and they said I don't know what my life is supposed to be , but it's not this . And then they just left . I think of my friend who walked out of a marriage after less than a year and had to move back in with her mother , back into her childhood bedroom , and face the condemnation of the entire community while she slowly created a new life for herself . Everyone said if he's not good enough for you , who will be ? She didn't know . She didn't know anything about what her life would look like now , but it started with her saying not this . I think of my friend who took her three young children away from a toxic marriage , despite the fact that her husband supported her and the kids financially , and the four of them , this woman and her three children , all slept in one bed together in a tiny studio apartment for a few years while she struggled to build a new life . She was poor , she was scared , she was alone , but she had to listen to the voices within her that said not this .
Speaker 1I think of friends who walked out of jobs with no job waiting for them because they said not this . I think of friends who quit school rather than keep pretending that they cared about this field of study anymore . And , yes , they lost the scholarship . And , yes , they ended up working at a fast food restaurant while everyone else was getting degrees . And , yes , it took them a while to figure out where to go next , but there was a relief at last in just surrendering to the holy , non-negotiable truth of not this .
Speaker 1I think of friends who bravely walked into AA meetings and just fell apart in front of a room full of strangers and said not this . I think of a friend who pulled her children out of Sunday school in the middle of church one Sunday , because she'd had it with the judgment and self-righteousness of this particular church . Yes , it was her community , yes , it was her tribe , but she physically couldn't be in that building anymore without feeling that she would explode . She didn't know where she was going , spiritually or within her community , but she said not this and walked out Rationally . It's crazy to abandon a perfectly good life , or at least a familiar life , in order to jump into a mystery . No sane person would advise you to make such a leaf with no plan B in place . We're supposed to be careful , we're supposed to be prudent and yet , and yet , if you keep ignoring the voices within you that say not this just because you don't know what to do . Instead , you may end up stuck in not this forever . You don't need to know where you are going to admit that where you are standing right now is wrong . The bravest thing to say can be these two words what comes next ? I don't know , you don't know , nobody knows . It might be worse , it might be better , but whatever it is , it's not this . それでは logging on to Our Path in Excellent words . My name is Now . I went to just re-share that post , but then I thought I'd better add a little sentence or two to personalise it and explain why I posted it . And suddenly I had my own long post , which I'm going to read to you now .
Speaker 1I remember standing in a classroom relief teaching whilst on maternity leave after having my second child and wondering what the hell I was going to do when my maternity leave ended and I was meant to go back teaching full time . I had no ideas , none . All I did know was not this Not dropping my children off to daycare so that someone else could look after my children while I looked after theirs or someone else's . That made no sense to me . Not rushing out the door every morning . I'm not a morning person and that rush set my nervous system on high alert for the rest of the day . Not paying exorbitant amounts and daycare fees so much so that it was barely worth the time , and definitely not the stress , to actually go to work five days a week . Not teaching to teens whose eyes glazed over at the mention of Shakespeare , not policing them for wearing the wrong bloody socks , not being able to hug them during hard times . Not data , data , data , data at the sacrifice of the human and the story behind it . Not keeping them indoors motionless on their seats on glorious spring days . Not this , not this , not this . That is the first and only decision I made , not this .
Speaker 1From there , I started a journal of ideas . I was an English and PE teacher at the time , so I thought I should capitalise on those skills and find something that also suited being at home with my children . At first I thought I was going to write my own blogs , but I found I could only write in bursts of late night inspiration . I didn't have the consistency to produce something every week and I didn't want to force that kind of creativity . Then I thought I'd be a copywriter , but the thought of having to write website copy for a plumbing company gave me the full body ex . I knew I either wouldn't follow through or I'd become bitter and jaded rather than creative . I started a children's book , truly . You'll see it in the post . I'll share later the pictures of it .
Speaker 1I'm not sure why I didn't follow that through , but I didn't , and I trusted at the time that it wasn't . For me , tutoring was a given . I'd done it successfully before . But again I knew I didn't want to work with children that didn't want to be there . I didn't like forcing , coercing , cajoling or gaslighting children whose parents made them attend . I knew in my heart that children could be trusted to make their own decisions about their lives . I knew they could succeed out of the school system if we let them pursue their interests . I just didn't know what that could look like outside of the only thing I knew , which was the school system .
Speaker 1And then , serendipitously , I met Vicky at a playgroup and I thought , shit , I could do this . I could work with children outdoors in a way that I could also bring my children . And then after a few months we both wondered if we could ever actually make any , even a little bit of money from an idea that has always run off the backs of women's free labour , and you know what Turns out . You can , and not just that it turns out . I can work outdoors all year , not just in the spring , and at times that suit my family . I can also work indoors from home in ways that suit my family . I no longer have to coerce children to do anything .
Everything we run at Wildlings sees children being the maker , the centre and the creator of their own choices . This has been the greatest gift of all to me as a teacher , a guide and mentor to be able to teach in alignment with my beliefs and values , to be able to trust that children know who they are and what they like , and then to reap the reward of seeing them soar when they're given the freedom to do so . All of this came from those two simple but powerful words , not this . Now people ask us how we do what we do , and it's now adults who are my favourite people to guide and mentor , because I know that the more adults we have trusting children and allowing children to soar , the better our world will be , and in a full circle . When I look at the aims I had for my original blog idea . I'm actually doing all of those things . I'm still educating , but in ways that feel good and true to my body . I'm exploring ideas of motherhood and being a woman in this world . I'm being creative , I've created the most wonderful community around me and my family . I'm making positive change in the world . I'm even making money from this to help provide for my family while working from home , and I'm mothering in a way that is honest , gentle on my children and the planet .
Speaker 1All from saying not this . So I wanna ask you today , what is your heart and soul screaming ? Not this . About that , your brain is hushing . I want you to write it down . I want you to say it out loud to yourself . Whisper it at first if you need to , and then say it louder , yell it if you can . Let yourself Feel it move through your body . So your brain has to believe it and then tell somebody . Acknowledging that you want something else is the first step , and if you'd like help with the second step and that is working out what it is , if it's not this , then you're welcome to download our free Find your Purpose Treasure Map . It's quick and it's easy , and maybe , just maybe , it might be the next step for you once you've decided not this . You can find it in the showed notes or I'll link it in our Instagram . Please listen to that voice that is saying , not this