S1E1 - Introductions and the Grand Haitian/Italian Wedding

Jess, Evan, and Mike take a minute to introduce themselves and W.E.D. Talks before chatting up Becca & Russell about their November 2017 wedding at UTEC in Lowell, MA. 

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Evan:   0:04
Hey, welcome to Episode one of our pound cast W.E.D. Talks, Just like in

Mike:   0:22
I'm Heaven and together we are just Sinatra photography and video and video. Don't forget video. Today we're

Evan:   0:33
going To talk a little bit about ourselves because it's the start of ah, new podcast Siri's. So of course we want to talk about ourselves. And then we're actually gonna interview my sister and brother in law. Ah, who we of just shot their wedding

Jess:   0:52
To a few years ago,

Evan:   0:54
years ago, and we'll get insight on their experience. Ah, from start to finish. And that will be a great interview.

Jess:   1:05
So I'm just odor and lead photographer of Justin Ultra Photography. I I love dogs, the color yellow nor walls. And I was strong armed into this business by my husband and videographer, Evan Perry.

Evan:   1:25
But you love it.

Jess:   1:26
I do love it. I am addicted to weddings. We're based out of New England, the greater Boston area. However, we will travel.

Evan:   1:39
So my name is Evan, and I've been a videographer for going on a decade now. I went actually went to school for film and video, so

Jess:   1:50
he's been saying a decade for the last three years. It's

Evan:   1:54
actually a decade, this year's official 2020 because I got started in 2010. And that's actually how Mike and I met because our first job out of college was this small production company and I was one of the first tires and Mike was not far after. Maybe number three or four.

Mike:   2:16
Yeah, it was shortly after that 2011. It was when I late 2011 I think when I started, um, I also went to college for film and video. So we're, like, super professional in that sense. Um, eventually that time and our careers past. And then we linked up Ah, a couple of years ago to start doing weddings on our own and thus the and then trio was four.

Jess:   2:47
I came along. I did not go to school for this. Um, I went to school to be a vet. Tech and I was about check for I don't even know how long to 20 years to count. Um, but as amazing of a careers that waas it was not creative and as fun as this.

Evan:   3:18
Well, you've always been ah, hobbyist When it comes to photography, So you've always had a foot in the door.

Jess:   3:25
Yeah, I did. I did a couple weddings back in New York and really liked it, but leaving a career that you went to school from and have been doing for Gosh knows how long is really hard until you meet Evan. And he basically is like, let's do this.

Evan:   3:44
And you did it. And you're so good at it.

Jess:   3:47
We did it in. Here we are.

Mike:   3:49
You said New York. You're originally from Buffalo

Jess:   3:51
Buffalo Bills. Go bills, go Savers

Evan:   3:56
e. I have forgiven her about this. So everybody listening can to

Jess:   4:03
nobody's thrown me through a table yet

Evan:   4:05
it will happen. Yeah, I mean,

Jess:   4:07
sounds fun. There was a group of groomsmen who came pretty close to, like, just throwing me

Mike:   4:12
through a table that one way,

Evan:   4:15
uh, pick and choose who we tell. Ah, you're from Buffalo for that very reason.

Jess:   4:21
Yes, I do appreciate all of my couples that text me when there's a bills game on and the bills air losing you say how sorry they are. Um, it actually rakes the loss a lot or

Mike:   4:39
palatable. Yes, but times were changing, so

Jess:   4:44
Yeah, Goodbye, Tom. Brady.

Mike:   4:45
Ah, it's sad times over here for as Patriots fans come. Hello. It's ah, changing the guard

Jess:   4:53
and the Sabres air the Sabres. So I can't Really Nobody hates the Sabres the way that they hate the bills. For some reason, it's just they are who they are.

Evan:   5:03
Yeah. The Sabres are the epitome of mediocrity, and so nobody can hate mediocrity. Great. So the bills made two Super Bowls.

Evan:   5:14
They make

Jess:   5:15
four.

Mike:   5:16
Uh, yeah, they lost four in a row.

Jess:   5:18
Yeah, he made four. Oh, man.

Evan:   5:23
You know, my revisionist history sounded way better than

Mike:   5:26
reality. Justin, Evan R Probably bigger hockey fans than anything else. Evan plays hockey. I dio men's league. Yeah,

Jess:   5:38
he's a goalie.

Evan:   5:40
Yes, I'm a goalie. I'm very good at saving. Yeah,

Mike:   5:45
Jess is good at spending

Jess:   5:46
his own horn. I am very good at spending.

Mike:   5:49
Especially on Amazon.

Jess:   5:50
Yes, exactly. And Mike is our best friend. Ah, yeah.

Mike:   5:56
So, uh, I just moved within a mile of their house, so no,

Jess:   6:00
1/2 mile?

Mike:   6:01
Yeah, I said within, um, I also it makes me feel better

Jess:   6:05
to be further.

Mike:   6:09
So now we hang out all the time. We can go to all the weddings together. Um carpool. Yeah. Carpool. Um, to be with this job, we work from home a lot. Aside from when we actually go shoot the wedding's Obviously. So, um, I do a lot of the editing of the video. So having them being a little bit closer now allows me just to bother me a little bit more waken actually have co working time rather than just being isolated. It's

Jess:   6:45
very nice to have Mike over and editing with me as opposed to me. Defend friending a spider and talking to him Well, editing throughout the whole day. Evan has a day job. Then he goes to to support my spending habit. I

Evan:   7:05
mean, we're trying to save up for a studio, and there's no way to do that. Ah, totally on the wedding's alone. So especially considering we just started the business on our own last year. We have been working for other people for years, but the day jobs great actually really enjoy it. I cannot describe what is. Nobody really understands, but it it's a lot of fun and it's challenging, and, um, it does take me away from you during the day, but I think you don't mind

Mike:   7:41
e. Definitely it makes the return home that much sweeter.

Jess:   7:45
I am a person who does value my alone time. So, yes, I think it's a alone. Time is important and I dio value mine. But I love you. Absence

Evan:   8:00
makes the heart grow

Mike:   8:01
fonder, and that's what

Evan:   8:02
they say. The idea behind this podcast and the reason we wanted to start it was to really go in in, lend our expertise two couples and really interview couples and talked with them about the different stages of planning a wedding Before you get engaged, when you get engaged during the planning process closer to the wedding after the wedding and really get into those details because everybody's journey is very different and they go through similar challenges, though, and it might it. I think it's very cool toe kind of explore the similar challenges and see how they maybe you can get ahead of your own challenges if you know about what other people are going through. Or maybe you're feeling something and somebody else also has those same feelings, so you don't feel as alone in that

Jess:   9:05
I want people to listen. And even if they take away one, you know, tidbit from another couple's experience to help them with their wedding planning. Some people really love the process, and then other people get extremely overwhelmed and hate a Remittance of it and end up, you know, just more stressed out than then if they hadn't even started planning to begin with. And so I think it's important for people to enjoy the process. This is supposed to be fun. You're supposed to be liking this. It's not supposed to be stressful. So if you can, you know, take a tidbit away from something else that somebody else did that helped them. Then that's good.

Mike:   9:55
Wedding planning has become so like crowd source recently. Everyone's always looking to Facebook groups and seeing what other people doing on instagram on Pinterest etcetera. Um, so I think this podcast is a good way to get really life, you know, information from our couples before and after the weddings. So it's not just some stranger you see on the Internet who might be not really saying what it's really happened.

Jess:   10:23
I mean, Instagram is great, but everybody knows that Instagram is like fake, you know, and pinchers discreet But then there's like the d y I is it d y

Mike:   10:34
d i y

Jess:   10:35
d i y side of print dressed. Or there's like the heavily styled $1,000,000 weddings on Pinterest.

Mike:   10:43
So everything so curated on there,

Jess:   10:46
yeah, this kind of falls in between. It's like this is really these air riel experiences, couples, riel, weddings, you know, not something that's fake and overdone.

Evan:   10:58
But I would say that we're almost like filling in the gaps between what would be, ah, very commercial experience on the not or other websites and ends thes very, very informal Facebook groups where you have so many ideas and opinions he can't even you don't even know what to listen to. Whereas the knot is very curated, very geared toward making you spend more money

Jess:   11:27
than not is just not rial to me. You're not judged off of the quality of your work or your creativity. Your judged off of how much money you give to the not and I don't I don't like that I want couples that were connecting with and having fun with, and that we mesh well with, um kind of laid back like we are, trust us are just gonna have fun. Um, you know, And we can just have a good day with because we're gonna be with you so often, you know, before the whole wedding than the whole day of the wedding. And if we don't mesh well, it just makes everything uncomfortable. So I want to enjoy the day. I want you guys to enjoy the day, so we just need to make sure that we're just hanging out with friends.

Evan:   12:19
And I would say that even if you're not as laid back as us, which is we're pretty laid back. So it's kind of hard to be a laid back is that even if you're if you're stressing a little bit, I feel like we do have a positive influence on our couples and that they can ah be stressed out, and it's fine. It's fine to feel stress, especially around your wedding day, because it's a major commitment. It's It's that in the next life step

Jess:   12:50
ton of planning gone into the day, you are everything to go perfectly, and we're gonna do our best to make sure that everything does go perfectly. But we're also gonna be there for you. if something doesn't go exactly as planned. So yeah, there's always

Evan:   13:07
some little thing that goes wrong. And the difference is like, Do you dwell on that little thing, or do you just let it go and the if you let it go, you're gonna have a great time.

Evan:   13:22
No, no,

Mike:   13:24
no. And now we're gonna talkto Beck and Russell, my sister and brother in law. They

Evan:   13:38
got married in you Tack and Lowell in 2017 November. It was a very

Mike:   13:43
cold day. Yes, and we're gonna talk about their wedding,

Jess:   13:49
and any little background noise that you hear is probably Norbert chewing on bones. Bringing us his head jog were drinking from this water is just ignore that

Evan:   14:00
Norbert enjoys being part of the podcast, and we will have him.

Jess:   14:05
So we just they're going to kind of talk about your guys process, uh, questions that we have that. I mean, everybody's a little bit different, so I'd just like to kind of know what you guys went through. Um, I guess kind of our our first question was really how quickly, after getting engaged, did you begin the whole wedding process? What was like, the first thing that you guys did after getting engaged. I don't think we started planning right away, because it was like we got engaged at the end of November. So holidays happened and we were just having a good time. And I think we were just casually talking about when we what Time of year. We would like to do

Evan:   14:47
it.

Russell:   14:48
Yeah, I think we had originally talked about doing, like a, um, like a summer wedding. And then as we were talking about dates, we quickly realized that that's probably wasn't going to be feasible unless we waited. Ah, year in, like, a year and 1/2.

Jess:   15:04
And why was that? Just because venues or I was just coming so quickly and there was just No.

Russell:   15:09
Yeah, it was coming a lot faster and financially. Yeah, and it felt like us, uh, for a wedding was gonna be, like, financially more. Make more sense for us.

Jess:   15:21
I think I do. First, our minds both went to We wanted it to be warm. Yeah, and if it could have been on a beach or something and we could have had, like, bright, like Miami colors, like, you know that you see it all the time. I don't care. Help! Interest. It was like trending. I really like that. Like, peachy color was like that minty color that you see a lot. Um, so, you know, we had some ideas, but dolphins color, like so happy. I need in a way. Those air kind of, like, you know, Yeah, formal dolphins colors, if you will, because there's, like a teal ish, but yeah, it's OK. That didn't work out Because we we love what we end up doing.

Russell:   16:06
Absolutely. And I think I think a lot of it really came together within the last couple months before the wedding. So we had a lot of thoughts and ideas, but I think, you know, things really started to fall in the place. You know, about 23 months before

Jess:   16:23
How did you guys and, ah, like, creating a budget? Did you have a bunch of going in and knowing what you wanted? Um oh, her. Did you Did you create a budget while you went? Oh, are? Yeah. So we Yeah,

Russell:   16:42
we kind of We had an idea of what we were comfortable spending. I think somebody gave me and gave me one of the best advice. I thought that kind of helped us. Kind of, um, prioritize, right? So I think back and I agreed that we really wanted everybody to have good food and have a good time. So what that meant Waas that we prioritize our catering. We wanted to make sure that we had plenty of booze and we wanted to have a good d J. Um And then what? That also, man, was that there's other things, like flowers that kind of took a back seat, right? We didn't spend a lot of money. Didn't spend any money on flowers. No, we kind of did a lot of, like crafts and stuff like that. So where is that? You know, our venue also wasn't like, I mean, I thought it was a really fun venue, but it wasn't like the most expensive anyone for traditional wedding. And so I feel like some people probably would have spent more more of their budget on, like having the perfect venue, having the flowers, having all the decorations and stuff like that. We cut costs with, like, you know, not having China's and stuff because we really just want to focus on having good food, good music and plenty of alcohol

Jess:   17:55
because laughing at the word China's

Evan:   17:59
no charger, please.

Jess:   18:02
Yeah. I mean, that's, um that's a good point. I mean, we knew what we didn't want to spend over. Yeah, And we I think we did a really good job with that, Um, and yeah, we just we d i wide as much as we could. And thankfully, I just We have a good support system on a lot of people that helped us out. Way

Russell:   18:23
definitely benefited from having, you know, people that were close to us that are also essentially would be vendors. Right. So we had helped with videography and photography.

Jess:   18:34
You know, like you guys, right? Are you allowed to say that it was okay? You like PTO? Let's Let's be real. I

Russell:   18:42
don't know if you signed a non disclosure agreement or something. You know, my sister catered for us. My brother in law, he was our, uh, bartender and mixed all I drinks and stuff like that. So we figured out ways to cut corners in Still prioritize the things that we really wanted to have in the wedding. We don't feel like we we left anything out. We still got our, you know, our perfect wedding.

Jess:   19:06
Yeah. So I know that this is a problem that quite a few of our couples encounter. And I know Russell has probably the largest family has ever been. No. How did you come to? Well, let's first start. How did you come to narrowing down your gasoline? You're very funny to say, narrowing down as a week. We did that. Well, we're gonna get to the two that other parts, but, I mean, obviously use you guys came up with a guest list? Yes. So I had all the old excel sheets and all the things, um, that I was trying to keep track of. And we definitely had, uh, numbers in place of what we feel comfortable having. And then it didn't really end up being that. But, um, we try to keep it under control of a little businesses and Waller, um, but then sometimes sometimes people to show up our yes, bring a lot of extras where I went back, You know, referring to is what we were going to talk about on my next sheet. Uh, the drama of Russell's family inviting themselves and we're not talking like one or two people inviting theirselves. We're talking tables, people table. Well, we think

Russell:   20:33
the tricky part with that is, I think when it came to our friends, I think Beka and I had enough like mutual friends that, like that process, was a little easier. There was really not. We had a lot of very similar friends, so we got that out of the out of the part. Becca's family was pretty easy to figure out as well. But when it came to my family in specifically like traditional Haitian weddings, um, the wedding is has nothing has little to do with the people that are actually getting married versus like it being a basically a social event for everybody else, like a family gathering. Exactly. It's it's political. Sometimes it z everything. And so, um, specifically for our wedding, we we had to, um, what we attempted to do is to invite people out of respect, right with potentially the hopes that they were declined, right? They wouldn't travel from Haiti, they wouldn't travel from Miami in Canada and Georgia and Indiana, right, So it was essentially a destiny destination wedding for most of my family, right with the hopes that a lot of them would just understand. Hey, bye Bye. Respect and their connections to our family. We want to invite you, but hoping that most people would decline the invitation. But that's not what happened. And I have. I'm one of one of eight. My mom is one of nine, and my dad is one of 13 lots of aunts and uncles and cousins

Jess:   22:05
so much he has even know about yet,

Russell:   22:06
some of which, you know, we had cause early that morning saying, Hey, I'm boarding a plane on my way to Boston. I'm coming. And so it was very frustrating, honestly, to figure that out, but because my sister was the caterer, Um, I think she's also just used to very traditional weddings on how that happens and how it's about everybody else. And so I think she prepared for that in some ways, because that would have been the toughest part is to not have enough food, right for people. I mean, um, so, luckily, that didn't happen. Um, but it was it was extremely frustrating. And leading up to to the wedding data felt like we were gonna be completely out of, like, blown our budget just because of the extra people. But we figured it out somehow.

Jess:   22:55
So, Russell, you sound like you are a little bit stressed with the idea of family just showing up, Um that were not technically invited. Were you stressed Speca or were you just I was when our stress Okay, I think I think it's fair to say I was more stress because less something I'm accustomed to. Um, it's not like that's that's just not really something that that would happen. Justin American wedding. Um, yeah. So you know, I'm just very much like a ticket person, and just in I just wouldn't expect that to happen. But I knew ahead of time this was gonna happen. So it's not like I was like, you know,

Russell:   23:43
Well, the thing is

Jess:   23:44
visibly upset, but I was just like, wow, okay, this is a lot. But

Russell:   23:48
in terms of etiquette, like from their perspective, they weren't do anything that wasn't right. Like if this wedding was happening in Miami or in Haiti, like there would have been way more of that, it would have been even more out of control because It's like, you know, Antoine's or having a wedding. Therefore, I'm invited because I knew one of them 10 years ago. Uh, and so that's That's kind of how that works. And so people will just will just come and you just prepare for that. And that's just it's a big party, you know? It's, you know, specifically in Haiti. It's a whole party for the neighborhood, for the town.

Jess:   24:25
But you guys had a very unique themed wedding. How did that come to conclusion? I'll take this one. Good. Okay. Um, I love the fashion of the twenties. I think it iss, uh, one of the coolest decades as far as just the glam of everything and is just so dramatic. And I just felt well, you know, what if we're gonna go formal and, you know, we were separately about down Abby at the time. Uh, we're like, you know, if we're gonna go formal, let's go pretty formal. You know, we don't have to, like, make our guests where it but if they want to dress up and have fun with that theme as well, that'd be really cool. But at least we wanted our ourselves in our wedding party to have that look so we could have those pictures forever. And I'm really happy without came out. A good number of people embrace. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, very surprising. A loved

Russell:   25:22
up. And what Becca is not saying is that she loves dressing up. She loves theme parties. So the fact that our wedding way had a theme and we were dressing up for the wedding, I was just kind of like, you know, just waiting for the light, just kind of hanging on the roller coaster, because I knew was going to be some crazy. And so

Jess:   25:41
he means he means unique and wonderful.

Russell:   25:43
Sure s. So I knew we were gonna have some sort of theme It was gonna be, you know, because I had never thought about 19 twenties wedding. I've actually never been to a theme wedding. And we messed around with a couple of different themes before because we had a whole we were looking at, like the Mystic Aquarium. As, like, cause Becca loves your am and all that. Yeah, um, and we're looking at kind of like under the seeds I themed situation, and that didn't work out, but

Jess:   26:13
Yeah, at that venue. Even though, obviously it's an aquarium. And that's amazing. It just It felt like a field trip. Yeah, it didn't. Even when they showed us the pictures of what it could look into, I'm like, No, but I don't like it, especially for how much we're paying for it. So I'm like, you know, people go the cream on their own and we'll have our wedding, and that's that's the story. Summary. Although your dress would have worked for under the I dio a Greeley. Yeah, have little mermaid status. Yeah, um, let's talk about the dress for a second. Okay, Uh, because we

Russell:   26:50
need to find a way for you to put that on a good,

Jess:   26:52
Um, uh, well, I think this is one thing that I see Maybe not so many of my couples have Have I had a problem with it that I've noticed, but being in a lot of the Facebook group said things online. I see a lot of girls that get their dress, and then months go by and then they go, for whatever reason, try on Mawr dresses, and then they don't like their original dress. And I feel like it's a whole big problem. Lost. Yeah. Why? And I know when we went to do your dress, you tried out a whole bunch of traditional ones. You looked great in every single one of them. But you were not Becca in any See any one of them on. And then basically, I forced you to try on this. Yeah. Purple e pink. True to peace. Yeah, at the end of your thing, which I can't thank you enough because I the second we went into that bridal shop, I saw it immediately. And I was like, Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, but I didn't even think that that would be something I would wear. Even though I wanted Teoh my heart. I was like, Oh, that dress, that's the one I like. But then I was holding this pile of, like, 10 lacy dresses that sparked, like, lighted. Yeah, like I definitely hated. But I was like, let me just try these on and and it was, But it was visibly obvious. I have not gone dress shopping with a lot of people. Yes, I've watched 10 hours of say yes to the drop weight New Yorker at Lantos is really important. I think it's whatever's on. Honestly, it's easy. There are both good. Um, so I know the whole, like you'll know when you try it on things. So when I was actually there, it was like, damn burger looks good in that white dress, But you were just, like, not happy in any of those dresses. And then when you didn't put your two piece on, it was like she was so happy and you could just see it completely changed her whole personality. So I think that's like the number one thing I always tell any of my brides like you'll so stupid. But you'll know when you know, like, uh, no, I definitely knew. I think I was, like, shouting from my dressing room before even showed you guys like, No, this is it. Yes, it was like, this is the one forgot the other ones, um, and also, yeah, I try on those other ones. And I think the only ones a chart on even though the ones they had there were white. But I try those a lot because it did come in other colors because I knew I didn't want White. It's just I'm pale enough. I just don't need that. It doesn't work for me. Also, I don't wear white in everyday life, so didn't make sense that the most expensive formal dress had ever wear would be a color he never wear. It just did. Never makes sense to me. So, uh, yeah, that really worked out. I think that's good advice, though, to, like, stick to what you want to wear. Yeah, if you're not a traditional white down person than Syria introduced doing, don't do everyone where and if I can get away with wearing a two piece bedazzled blush pink outfit in a, uh, American and Haitian mixed wedding and no one said boo to me about it. You can do it too. Yeah. You know, I was just I was confident about it and eat of people. Didn't like it. They didn't. Didn't dare come up and talk to me about it, so I don't know about it. And I must come for 10 every after it technically wasn't a wedding dress. He saved money that I saved so much guys. So this was actually considered a prom dress. And because of that, it was it was, like, $300. Yeah, and then I had a spend. You know, I don't remember how much I'm tailoring. And then, um, but it wasn't that much. And so all day, it was under 500. Yeah, which is unheard off. Pretty much heard off. Unheard off. So while we're on the dress, I know the dress completely stunned, Russell, because this is will go down in history as one of the greatest first looks ever. Missiles could not contain his giddiness when and when they saw each other. Um, I know. Also, I kind of pushed you guys

Evan:   31:07
into the

Jess:   31:07
first. Are you still happy I

Evan:   31:11
pushed you into the first

Jess:   31:12
look or what are you? Absolutely. Do you feel about it?

Russell:   31:16
Yeah. I love that idea. Um, I think that I would have my reaction would have maybe been a little bit different had I been, you know, in front of everybody, you know, that was just kind of like my true, authentic like reaction. Part of that is because I didn't I was expecting at white traditional, you know, and just not only it was so different. She looks so beautiful in and just like It just felt like everything had come together, you know, at that point. And so so having done it that way, I just felt so much more intimate. Um, you know, and I just thought that she looked so beautiful in that moment. Where is I Was so nervous about everything else that was going on when I was standing in front of waiting for better to come out that I think that I would have probably reacted a little bit different.

Jess:   32:08
Yeah, Yeah, it was a very authentic moment for sure. It was just like, Well, my favorite picture of him ever so kind of a more serious thing that I kind of wanted to touch about. Um, is that obviously Bergen Ercel Art interracial couple. Did you guys, like, have any concerns going into picking out vendors or anything like that? Are is that any thought that you that you had given it, cause I know that we do have some, you know, gay and lesbian couples who put thought into their renders and things like that.

Russell:   32:43
I think with the deejay that became a little bit more because most of our vendors or you all

Jess:   32:50
yes, way weren't that worried, you

Russell:   32:55
know? But I think the deejay which I think Evan, you made the recommendation for the deejay? Um,

Evan:   33:00
yeah, yeah, the

Russell:   33:02
that I think it was. I

Evan:   33:03
had forgotten that

Russell:   33:04
it was your recommendation. He actually he was Haitian as well. And so I think back a like, I mean, she can talk about it, but I think we had, like, music that we wanted to be played music that we didn't want to play. And I think that, um, having a d j that was going to be better understand some of the dynamics of the crowd, right? Some people were gonna want to dance a certain things, you know, and being able to balance that, um, we we thought that was really important to have somebody to do that. And I thought he did a pretty good job of that. But I think that there was some I think there was some some music on Becker's don't play list of being played.

Jess:   33:42
You mean my entire do not play with? I told him I was like, I want no line dances unless it's the wobble. That's only one allow. And if you do play it. Please don't play the whole five minutes song because I will be very upset. It's way too long. You're gonna kill the mood. And then what did he do? He opened the dance floor with the Macarena, and then I wanted to I can't tell you what I want T o just like, Did you read my email? This is the one thing I requested it. And I hate this song

Russell:   34:14
and unfairness. Rebecca is She did put a lot of effort into the playlist like she put time into it. And so I think from that perspective, like, because we're paying for the service, that should have been kind of respected because she put some time into I did not just play these. I'm good. You know, I think she you know, she had her. Don't listen. He probably should have followed.

Jess:   34:36
I mean, like, when you went back then I was still working as a dance instructor. So there's certain songs you hear literally, hundreds of times, and you never want to hear them ever get. And so, yeah, Does that make me a, uh is as particular situation is that everybody know, but you have to listen to what your client is telling you, Because I'm not gonna recommend that D J Yeah, you know, so But anyway, but to go back to the original question, um, considering a lot of the most important vendors, were you guys to be more as concerned? It wasn't as big of an issue. Um, but also, the venue ended up working with was just so amazing. Um ing and there was there was people of, like, every walk of life that we're working there or being helped from them. Um, so it didn't seem like to be an issue at all is it isn't an issue that you guys do that think about. Like, if we were your renders, would you have had to think about the fact that you're an interracial couple and you're going to hire photographers and videographers? And is it something that you do have to think about?

Russell:   35:45
Yeah. I mean, I think I think it's something of that specifically living in New England. It's I mean, I don't know how much it is on his mind, but it's constantly on my mind who we interact. Where do we go? Even like even what Mechanic I go to, you know, those types of things you know, I'm constantly aware of and specifically being an interracial couple. I think that sometimes is a heightened because a heightened sense of, um, curiosity for some people on sometimes they it attracts even more attention. Even if I was just by myself. And so, um, I think that was definitely something that, you know, I wanted we wanted to be mindful of.

Jess:   36:31
Yeah, Yeah, we talked a

Evan:   36:33
lot about the venue so far, but I How about we talk about you take a little bit and what it is? Nobody was carried.

Jess:   36:40
Yes. Okay, you tech, um, I forget what the actual, um, acronym is force. We could fact check that, but it's in Lowell, Massachusetts. And, um uh, I might butcher their mission here, but I think what they're trying to do is help, um, court involved individuals, build a skill set and get back into the workforce through their programming and because, um, they have, like, a partially like half and half industrial side of the building, and then half of it is an old church that they've captain kept up. And because of that, they get toe have, um, conferences and weddings and other venues whoever wants to rent out the area. And then, um, the people that are involved in these programs get the opportunity to be customer facing and work hand in hand with those events and be different have different opportunities to be evolved of different areas of what it takes to plan an event apart together event. And they have their own catering there as well. I think they also don't call me on this. I think they had woodworking as well. Um, no, we do, because we have, ah, cutting board from U Tech building. Our bird. They could have built an armor. Yeah, I bet if we asked them I had a time, they would have done it.

Russell:   38:05
We didn't want to do a traditional traditional like country club or something like that. Or like at a hotel.

Jess:   38:12
It wasn't

Russell:   38:13
like that. So what we really liked about the U Tech as well is that the money that we spent? You know what we spent almost little to No money. So they really just try just for operating costs. And then whatever that they made on top of that went back to support that program. And so we felt like at least if we were going to spend money on a venue, then we might as well do that and also feel like we're giving back as well.

Jess:   38:38
Yeah, and help the community instead of helping another hotel or a country club. You guys did a first look and one of the most common reasons that I talked to my couples about doing a first look. It's so that they make it to their cocktail hour because they're spending money on cocktail hour. You want to enjoy it? However, because Russell has a trillion family members. You guys did not make it talk to our no todo um, you're get It happens to be honest, cause I didn't experience that, but I heard it was great. Um,

Evan:   39:09
it was fantastic.

Jess:   39:11
I only heard good things. Do you do maybe regret that you maybe didn't say no to to some people for photos that you could like enjoy the moment because they're those giant group photos that you know, you're probably not ever doing anything. I

Evan:   39:28
don't

Jess:   39:28
regret anything. I think maybe we just needed to, like designate some people to like, just grab us a ton of food. Yeah. At one point, accidentally, someone did go and get some food, which was so nice. But then they put it on a table nearby, and then someone else ate it. Well, you know, you know, there was, like, over 100 people, like raining, waiting around to take a picture. And they're like, Oh, food. Yeah. So, you know, I don't blame anybody for that, but we didn't get to really experience of that. Um, and I would have liked more drinks set aside just for us. I don't get to drink, like, really at all. You guys waited a few months to take your honeymoon. Uh, which is

Evan:   40:10
kind of

Jess:   40:10
a common thing. I see. But we also see a lot of couples that are taking off the next day

Evan:   40:15
or the night. Oh,

Jess:   40:16
yeah. The night tomorrow. Yeah. No. Was there a reason you guys waited? Do you with I think if you could have done it differently, would you have taken off a couple days or the day after? Definitely take

Russell:   40:31
it a couple of days, but to go right to the honeymoon. I don't I think I like the fact that we waited, figured it out because part of that we were still planning on where we were gonna go and figure I I'm So if I had to think about being gone, like for because we were gone for 10 days, Yeah, after that. Like, it would have taken me, like, at least three days in Jamaica of like, decompressing before I start to join enjoying our vacation.

Jess:   41:01
Yeah, I think it was just the planning for the wedding and all the people coming and everything was enough on our plate. So we were like, we really don't want to take that on. I'm so even if we could go back and do it differently, I I think the same exact situation went to rise. Yeah, and I think we would want to wait, So I like the way we did it. Wait for the way also

Russell:   41:29
brings up with Brightpoint gifts start right. And also part of hate traditional Haitian weddings is that we don't do the whole gift part again. The waiting is about everybody else way. Don't make back as much as we wanted. Teoh, you know we don't do

Jess:   41:47
didn't have awesome little guest favors Delicious little Ramos. That was

Mike:   41:56
so I took four

Jess:   41:58
wrestle. Haven't you tell everybody with that? It

Russell:   42:00
s O Christmas is like a traditional like Haitian, um, coconut, um, cream without mixed with alcohol. Drink that we do. We typically drink it like during the holidays. Like Christmas time. Like everybody makes cream ice and we all share with you. My grandma will make some will make something that we all kind of share each other's clear. Last, um,

Jess:   42:24
is everyone's like it tastes a little different.

Russell:   42:25
Everybody has a little bit of a different recipe. Um,

Jess:   42:28
different spices,

Russell:   42:29
right? And so But we also use it for celebration. So, like whether you we gave it out as a favor or if it was available to be drink like Haitian weddings will always have clear mass at

Jess:   42:41
on. Um, was it your mother that

Russell:   42:44
you're my mom? That

Jess:   42:45
together? She didn't make it, but she got it from somebody that did. And then I think it shot out to Modine who bottled it, which was a big undertaking. Those bottles were a little and she did a good job. If you could give one do advice to couples and one don't advice to couples. What would you give?

Russell:   43:10
You know, when you're looking at a wedding on average, you here, like crazy numbers, And I don't think we fought. We fell anywhere close to some of those numbers, but I felt like we still we still had everything we wanted. But we figured out the corners that we needed to cut in order to still be able to get everything we wanted. And so, um, I felt like there was a lot of one of the reason, maybe why, you know, it might have even taken me so long to even proposes because I wanted to make sure that we had enough money

Jess:   43:38
to

Russell:   43:38
actually have a wedding. But then looking back at it like we we were you know, I would say that our budget was, um, pretty favorable compared to other people, you know, But we still we still felt like I don't have any regrets from that day, and so I don't I think there's a lot of pressure to spend a ton of money. And we've been toe weddings where it was absolutely beautiful, right? Fancy foods, fancy venue. But nobody had a good time. People were like

Jess:   44:08
they left really early,

Russell:   44:09
left early and nobody had fun. And

Jess:   44:12
they waited till the cake was cutting their like by

Russell:   44:14
right. Whereas we were like, You all need to go like, you know, I gotta go home. But Tonto and I felt like that's what we wanted. And we did that. We were bawling on a budget, and I think, you know, it's it's the so that would be like my, you know, in and let me know would be like, Don't blow your budget.

Jess:   44:33
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, that's really good. Okay, um, my do is have whatever kind of ceremony you actually want. So whether that is a five minute ceremony or whether it's, ah, not in front of people at all, or whether it's what we did, which is kind of traditional to appease different sides of the family, um, mixed in with our own elements. So, like we had, his sister did appraised against for us, which I was completely ah, hysterically balling through re Honestly, I think everybody was Oh, yeah, like so of my, uh, amazing. I have no idea what other few people's faces look like because my eyes were blurry, but, uh, all I know is how I felt. Um, and then, um, I I was very lucky toe have, um um, Caleb spoke Brussels brother, oldest brother. And my mom got to ST a I'm seeing him for Lau. Hi. My mom got to read. Ah, really beautiful poem. That meant a lot to me. And then last, but definitely not least as my brother Evin and, um my one of my longest, uh, oldest friends, Sebastian. They graces with a song, um, that I wanted from the beginning, But I didn't know that people be cool if it and then I was like, You know what? Uh I'm gonna do what I want, so yeah,

Evan:   46:04
people don't usually do Lou Reed at their wedding. It's a little sad sack, but we only saying the happy party

Mike:   46:10
only saying that

Jess:   46:11
happened parts of the song. So the other interpretations of the song you know, girls can the be Ah, you know, we can put those aside. I don't know what my don't is. I guess mine is also doing a don't do have the ceremony you want. Don't Don't go. It our Yeah, I don't think because a sermon. Okay, here's my don't, um, don't get caught up in all the other stuff, because the ceremonies, actually, when you're getting married and that's that's what you're there for. So, yes, the party's cool. Um, and things could get stressful and crazy, but at the end of day, it actually is a party. So don't forget, you are getting married, and that's the most important part of the actual day. Um, so you should at least have that go exactly what you wanted, Teoh. And I don't think you should compromise on that. Anything else from you guys

Russell:   46:59
way get to ask you

Jess:   47:01
all the question. What is your question? Right? You You

Russell:   47:06
know, um, you you obviously do this. We're living, and you work with a lot of different couples and been used. Were there any particular challenges about our wedding in general venue working with us and everything that you felt like you had to overcome? Because we felt like you all kind of made everything happen and everything happened. So I'm not really understanding what challenges you had to go for

Jess:   47:32
besides his giant family. I mean, I think that every every wedding holds challenges, and we just her adapting as we go when when we come across the challenge, there's not much that were not prepared for. That's why we try to meet and talk about everything in so much details that we know any. There's no surprises that we are prepared for everything. Um, the cold was challenging on your wedding day. I

Mike:   47:58
will say that Number one channel

Jess:   48:01
cold, which people don't realize the cold affects the cameras to Teoh, instantly draining batteries to, you know, misfiring or not. You know, focusing because it's so cold. So that's always something that we do have toe overcome. Um, not not really. Anything else, I think for your wedding honestly. And I mean lighting is always, ah, tricky thing when it comes to really any kind of

Russell:   48:32
and fall days to you never really know if you're going to get a bright day or a dark day

Jess:   48:35
rain. Yeah, yeah.

Evan:   48:38
I mean, the size of the family was challenging.

Jess:   48:41
Yes, I do. And I do bring Russell's family up in conversation with a lot of our couples. Actually, they've made an impression. Russell's family a study. Yeah, it is my go to um because I do find that family is the most stressful part of the day, usually for me, but also usually for the couple's because you rise. Want to appease these family members and you want thes photos with them? Said they're happy. But then you know Uncle Bob's offered cocktail hour getting five cocktails, and I need him for photos right here. In this

Evan:   49:15
case it was on. ELISA missed all the phone

Jess:   49:19
booth about that and and so that, you know, I feel like there's there's only so many of us. We also don't know all the family member, So I can't be having people run around screaming ELISA, like at your cocktail hour trying to find people. So, you know, I think that family is always a challenge, and so that's something that we talk about in detail with our with a lot of couples is getting whether it's making a shot list so I can just scream out. People's names essentially are making sure that that family has a designated area to go to so that we're not standing there waiting for Uncle Bob. You know who's at the cocktail hour already hammered, trying to get him in photos. Um, so for photo aspect, I didn't I didn't have anything extremely challenging on their wedding. Besides us being outside and besides the freezing negative degrees, I don't know how

Russell:   50:16
it was negative.

Jess:   50:18
It was like eight or nine degrees. But it with the winds there wind. Yes.

Russell:   50:24
I really shouldn't be complaining. I had a jacket on.

Jess:   50:26
You know, you should wear a

Mike:   50:29
coat coat, tails

Jess:   50:30
you didn't have your midriff showing and Mark unveiled. Did a great job with your highlight video two that they made you pack. Yeah, that's a really good job. So I

Russell:   50:42
still get chills watching

Jess:   50:43
so good. So no regrets on having video is what you're saying. Oh,

Russell:   50:51
do you make

Jess:   50:52
this really clear speech photo, But you need video

Mike:   50:57
capture the

Russell:   50:58
dance, the the speeches, the dancing average

Jess:   51:02
for I dance

Russell:   51:03
like you really don't know how much of a good time You want everybody to have a good time, But you really can't see that or know that. And like looking back at some of the videos that you could see everybody dance. It told me a lot more than you know, actual day of the wedding.

Jess:   51:18
It really does say a lot. Um, just again for, like, how everybody came together because even now you that it's been, like, three years or tell me, See, people, they're like, No, but really, your wedding was really fun, like, Okay, that's all we wanted. Yeah, and then even people that have only seen your photos or videos online cause maybe where we just don't know them like that's they weren't there. But even then there like, Whoa, this looks gorgeous. What was your theme? What was going on here? Because this looks like it was really fun. And there they have foam. Oh, and I'm like, yeah, that's what we want. You did miss out. Thank

Evan:   51:53
you for coming by today.

Jess:   51:55
Thank you for this being our first inaugural podcast. Couple inaugural. Inaugural. Is I saying it right? I

Evan:   52:03
mean, that's like, once a year.

Jess:   52:06
Oh, my said the word inaugural in a text message. So this is the first. So this is our first podcast. I'm not using big words anymore.

Russell:   52:22
Yeah, well, things were having us.

Jess:   52:24
Yeah. Thank you for

Russell:   52:25
having us reminisce a little bit. Thank

Jess:   52:29
you again for capturing our wedding. Let's do it again. sometime. Let's go to Haiti. Haiti and have Oh,

Russell:   52:38
you know I promised my parents.

Mike:   52:39
Yes, do it. 10 years. Three.

Russell:   52:42
Yeah. I hope they don't listen to this.

Jess:   52:48
Thank you guys, for doing this with us. So you're well going happy?

Evan:   52:53
Every week we'll be doing a protest. This week's protest will be sponsored by Handyman Charley. Don't hire any old tool. Hire Charley

Mike:   53:02
This episode's protip: Ladies. Bouquets Air Perfect to store your nips of Fireball I love you. So that concludes. Episode one of her podcast A a Did it? Yes. Next episode we'll talk about Corona Bar

Evan:   53:42
girls and how it affects the wedding industry. Specifically Ah, vendors in our couples who are all dealing with this

Jess:   53:51
and everything else in life that it fucking effects.

Evan:   53:55
Yes. So

Evan:   53:57
stay tuned. Outro Music