SCENE 1
(It is morning, the curtains are slightly open, and Esme is asleep in her bed. She wakes up when her dog licks her face)
ESME *yawn* Oh hello Bon Bon! Ugh what time is it?
(She reaches for the watch she keeps by her bed)
ESME (Talking to Bon Bon the dog)
What?!?!?! It’s forty minutes past ten!!! Good job this wasn't a school day huh Bon. But… what if it was? I could’ve been soooo late! I don't know what the teacher would’ve done!!!
(She gets up from bed, Bon Bon wags her tail as Esme talks)
ESME That’s it, this can't keep happening. I need to buy an alarm clock. Oh but they’re so annoying! That sound they make…
(She does an extremely loud and irritating impression of an alarm clock)
ESME It’s a shame they don't have a nice, soothing way to wake you up. But maybe, if they don’t have a soothing way to get me up - I’ll just have to invent one!! C’mon let’s go!
(She runs off stage with her dog following on behind, and there’s some background noise of construction, (e.g. metal clanking and machines whirring.)
Then there’s a set change to the living room. They run back on with Esme dragging in the wakey-wake-amatic and look at the audience)
ESME There! I call it the Wakey-Wake-Amatic! (The name still needs work--) It has different amazing ways to get you up in the morning! Look!
(She turns to the wakey-wake-amatic)
Wakey-wake-amatic! Tomorrow, I wish to be woken up by chocolate.
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC As you wish.
(The wakey-wake-amatic looks at Bon Bon who barks at it)
ESME Shush Bon it’s OK!
(Bon Bon continues to bark at the robot)
ESME If you can’t behave you have to go out. Go on! Shoo!
(Bon walks off slowly looking back at the wakey-wake-amatic and growling)
ESME Anyway, continue.
(The wakey-wake-amatic’s hands disappear into its arms. They reappear holding a chocolate bar and a fan. Every time this happens it is accompanied by a suitable mechanical sound.)
ESME The smell of delicious chocolate is sure to wake you up!! Wakey, please demonstrate.
(The wakey-wake-amatic turns on the fan supposedly blowing the chocolate smell into Esme’s face. She leans forward.)
*sniff* Ahhh, That’s heavenly. Actually Wakey-- tomorrow I wish to be woken up by wind chimes instead.
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC Of course, Esme.
(Again one of the wakey-wake-amatic’s hands disappears, remerging with wind chimes. It uses the fan still in its other hand to blow the wind chimes against each other, making a soft, pleasant tinkling sound.)
ESME Thank you.
(It puts it’s things away in its arms and both hands return empty.)
ESME Now I’ll definitely wake up on time every day.
(Another set change takes us back to the bedroom. It’s morning again and Esme is in bed with Bon Bon on the floor. The wakey-wake-amatic comes in. This time it wakes her up with a gentle tickling feather.)
ESME Oh! Why good morning Wakey-Wake-Amatic!!
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC Good morning Esme.
(The curtains drop so the stage is hidden. When they rise and the stage is visible again-- Esme is back asleep and the wakey-wake-amatic is off stage. It comes back on and wakes Esme with soft forest ambiences.)
Good morning!!
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC Hello Esme.
(The curtains drop and come up again. Esme is asleep. The wakey-wake-amatic wakes her up with a gentle blue light slowly getting brighter, this light is accompanied by a soft chord, perhaps sung by a choir.)
ESME Morning.
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC Top of the mornin’ to ya.
ESME [Slightly surprised]
I didn’t know you could say that! You really are clever aren’t you! (To herself) Maybe you could do other things for me...
I’m hungry! Wakey- bring me some breakfast in bed.
(The wakey-wake-amatic runs off stage and comes back with a tray with a big English breakfast)
ESME Wow! That was quick! Get out a towel and start my shower.
(The wakey-wake-amatic hands her the breakfast and runs away again)
Oh and-
(It comes back in)
ESME Take out the bins will you?
(The wakey-wake-amatic stares at Esme, stares down at itself, stares into the audience, and then finally stares at Bon Bon)
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC (In a more sinister tone than usual)
Certainly…
(Set change takes us outside by the bins where the wakey-wake-amatic dumps a bag of rubbish. The crow is there, pecking around minding its own business when it looks at the robot and the robot looks at it. They stand there staring at each other for a while; then the wakey-wake-amatic goes back inside)
(The curtains drop again but this time when they rise it’s still nighttime.)
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC Wakey wakey!
ESME What do you mean? It’s eleven o’clock at night!
(The curtains go down and up again. It’s still night.)
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC Wakey wakey!
What are you on about?! It’s midnight!!!!!
(The curtains go down and up for the last time.)
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC Wakey wakey!
ESME Look, it’s one am. Are you malfunctioning or something?
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC I’m tired of waiting, there’s no more hitting the snooze button. WAKEY WAKEY.
(The wakey-wake-amatic chases Esme on and off stage, continuously shouting ‘Wakey wakey’. Until finally Esme grabs hold of it and after a brief struggle, pushes a big red button on the wakey-wake-amatics head, this causes a CLICK and the wakey-wake-amatics eyes turn off.
There is a loud whirring noise as it powers off. She then throws it off stage, supposedly out of a window landing in the bins.
There’s a loud crash and the startled ‘meow’ and ‘hiss’ of a cat. Esme then brushes off her hands before climbing back into bed.)
ESME Well that was utterly terrifying and I’m never doing it again. Guess I’ll just have to go back to being late for school!
(The set changes from in the bedroom to outside the house with the wakey-wake-amatic sitting amongst the bins with its eyes closed.
Suddenly, the crow walks in and starts pecking around. It’s pecking the bins when it accidentally pecks the button that turns on the wakey-wake-amatic with a loud CLICK and somewhat ominous machine start-up sound.
The wakey-wake-amatic opens its eyes but instead of them being a glowing white, they’re a glowing red.
WAKEY-WAKE-AMATIC WAKEY! WAKEY! WAKEY! WAKEY!
FADE OUT.
THE END