Ep. 92 : Host Dr. Ryan Sauers interviews guest Dr. Dar Mayweather

Dr. Ryan Sauers hosts the Community Connections show. It brings you positive stories and encouraging news from top leaders in various sectors of communities nationwide, along with super insights and timely discussions.

Listen to this super episode 92 of the Community Connections Podcast show with special guest Dr. Dar. Mayweather. This episode is encouraging and insightful and shares life and business lessons from Dr. Mayweather that we can all learn from.

He is also an outstanding community leader, husband, father, and man of faith, in addition to teaching and speaking about leadership.   *****Also, you can watch the TV/video show of this at-> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUW_VyzHHP8

***For more info on Dr. Mayweather visit https://www.linkedin.com/in/doingthegoodwork/
OR
https://uncw.edu/academics/colleges/wce/academic-programs/departments-offices/ed-leadership/faculty-staff#mayweather

For more information about future show guests or sponsorship opportunities, please contact: Ryan@ryansauers.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hello again, everyone. It is time for another episode of the Community Connection Show. The show that brings you positive stories and encouraging news as we interview top leaders in every sector of the community. And now, here is your host, national speaker and best-selling author, Ryan Stowers.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Hello again, everybody, and welcome to another Community Connection show. I am super excited to have my friend and colleague, Dr. Dar Mayweather, professional leadership speaker and lecturer at UNC Wilmington with me today. Doctor, how are you, sir? I'm good, Doc. How are you? I'm great. And thanks for coming on the show. It doesn't get old though, does it?

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Not speaking about leadership, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Yeah, no, no, no. Well, when you're talking about a doctor, we can't we can't do 911, but we can inspire, motivate, and encourage, right?

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Oh, yeah. I'm working with uh about 600 high school students from over 20 countries, 30 states. Yeah. And when I tell you they all want to be in, they're all interested in medicine, and that's the first thing I teach them is like, hey, I can't teach you nothing about medicine. Right. But I can teach you a whole lot about leadership, and they really start falling in. And I'm I'm really appreciating the experience.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

You know, it's funny, my uh oldest daughter just started her second year of medical school. So, you know, she she's I said, Well, look, I can't really do any life-saving procedures, but I can encourage the MD and inspire them to perform at their best. And that's my running joke. But no, I mean, you uh, Dr. Mayweather, and I'll call you Dar, someone here too. Uh well, please do. I should say that too. We'll turn turn all the formalities off, but let's just talk a little bit for people who don't know you about your background, your career life starting up. We were talking a little bit about school before we went on air. Just a little bit about your background, then we'll bring them up to where we are now.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

Yeah, yeah. So born and raised, Grand Rapids, Michigan. I went to Grand Valley State University, got my undergrad, my master's from there, got my PhD from Eastern Michigan University, uh, father of two amazing boys, boy dad over here. Uh, I'm a husband to my amazing, amazing, spectacular, super awesome wife. Uh, we live in North Carolina, and so Wilmington, North Carolina. I teach as a leadership studies lecturer full-time at UNCW. Um, but also I've spoken now since 2016. So the last eight years, I've been able to speak to over 150,000 people in 20 states and three countries. And um, it is a blessing, it is a privilege, it's an honor uh to be able to step into my gift and my talent and use it to help organize and inspire people from all ages, from all walks of life, all across the country. Um, it's it's been a journey. And so I one of the things I tell my students is like my goal is to help them use their natural gifts and talents to articulate them to industry leaders so they can get a job before graduation. Because I was that student that graduated with a bachelor's degree and didn't have a job, right? And then couldn't get a job in the field, and it was because I wasn't doing anything in the field other than studying, and that wasn't enough, especially in going into a recession. Um, and that that experience has informed all of the work that I do today. I know there are a lot of not just students, you know, college students, high school students, but even professionals out there who are still trying to find their purpose, who's still trying to figure out what they're naturally gifted at, like what makes them them. And so that's kind of the mission that I've been on is kind of helping people understand and empower people to operate in their gifts because they are literally um the thing that was given to them by the creator themselves, right? And so um that's something that you don't want to ignore.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

That's powerful, man. Um, we share so much when we connected. I mean, I was like, wow, this is like uh, you know, you're you're I'm a girl dad, three, three, three, good, three girls, and uh so and then you know, with my wife, uh, great wife that I have, my best friend, you know, it's very similar, but being we came down the leadership track and both have spoken and whatever, you know, the term leadership is thrown around a lot. Um, of course, you and I have studied it, but not just studied it, we we work with you know the real world application of it. And I think that's a missing link sometimes. You got people talking on this theory, but they don't they don't bring it back to home, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Mm-hmm. You know, um, one of the first things that I get to do when I'm working with people, doesn't matter what age, high school, all the way up to you know, 60s and 70s, is I get them to think or rethink that leadership is not a person, it's not a position, it's a process, it's an influence, it's an outcome. And so when you are looking at it from that perspective, shout out to uh Dr. Jonathan Krohl, who I think who should definitely reach out to Dogger Crow, shout out to Dr.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Dr. Kroll.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

I'm sorry, I Kroll. How do you say it? K-R K-R-O-L-L. I don't know how to scroll it.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Kroll. Okay, I always do the shout-outs in the show, and people love people love the shout-outs. They always come to me. Okay, Dodger Kroll. All right, we got it.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Dr. Kroll is amazing. Um, and and so his book is also uh a really, really good book, preparing leadership educators. Um, and it's really helping you see that this whole thing about leadership is really helping people understand how to influence people to achieve common outcomes, common goals, and when you can do that in a community, right? Because there's no leadership without community. That's the miss, that's the myth that I get to debunk on the first day, right? The second myth I usually get to debunk is that a lot of people don't believe that they're leaders. Yep. And it's like, yo, like you influ you influence somebody, you change somebody's life, you help somebody become somebody better than who they were maybe yesterday, last year, last month, whatever it is, that's leadership. And so when you can put that process together, you can manipulate it. And that's what we do, right? That's why you bring in somebody to help see you from the outside, is because you literally are doing it, but you haven't put the process down on paper so you can manipulate and change it for this specific audience or this specific person, this specific community.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

You're getting me pumped up right now, man. I mean, you know, you know, we all it's it's it's uh, you know, iron sharpens iron. And um, you know, I told a lot of classes and and audience I speak to, I said, sometimes we're in the leadership role, but sometimes it's okay to be a follower. So, for example, I had a student one time who's really good with IT and I couldn't get the presentations to work or whatever. I said, Let me show you an example. Right now, I'm following your lead because you're a lot better than some me. Can I get better at it? Probably. But in this specific instance, I'm falling into that role. And then I and then the other one is the title thing. Everybody's well, you know, I can't make a change, I don't have the title. Like, leadership's nothing about a title. I mean, you can make a difference from the ground up, side to side, up and down, right? Yep.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

You know, think about how I even came to understand this whole thing of leadership. I'll be honest, like, although like I am in this role today doesn't mean that I've always been the high school class president or the club president, or actually, like, I was never any of those roles, not even in college, did I take any of those types of roles? I was working. So I was a working class student coming from a working class family, and so I needed to make money to get through college. But what I did learn, and as I reflected on my experiences, I've always been called to be in the conversation about how to influence others to achieve goals, whether that was in middle school, high school, college, even in my professional pursuits, I've always found a way to be added into the conversation. And just because I've always wanted to be a value ad, I've always wanted to support people, I've always wanted to help people, and so people find you when you want to do that. And I volunteered my time because I didn't have a role, right? I volunteered my energy, and that's how I became Dr. Dar Mayweather, who now has spoken and teaches and all these things, is because literally people believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. And so, for all those people out there who's like, I'm struggling to find my purpose, a lot of the reason is why, because the the reason might be because it's right in front of you, but you it don't look like how you want it to look like, exactly, but it's right there, right? And so once I started leaning into the people who believed in me and start focusing on the people who didn't, that's when a lot of things changed for me.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

100%. And you you you and I both know going through a dissertation, which is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, unless you've done it, I mean, I don't know how I'd wish it upon my worst enemy. I mean, it's a bear. And uh, you know, but I was determined because to your point, I had a lot of people along the way who said, Man, we you we believe in you more than you do. And it's it wasn't I didn't believe in myself. I was just going, how am I gonna get with kids and family and businesses and teaching and you know, how am I gonna get this boulder over the hill just to finish the drill I started? And as you know, when you became Dr. Mayweather, those moments you hear, I'm like, did I didn't hear that wrong, right? And and and I say all that to say, you know, it's just, but but what I love what you're doing, uh, Dar is you're out working and speaking in the real world, and then you're back in the classroom preparing, you know, whether it's working adults or people, you know, have a job and working away to school, like I did. Um and and bringing it back to home. In other words, it's not like you're divorcing theory and practical application. And I preach this so much, like they gotta be like that, right?

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Yeah, so so coming back to the dissertation, I think there's a life, there's a life lesson that everybody can learn in that. Um it's finished when it's finished. It's done when it's done. And until it's done, it's not done.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Dude, uh amen.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Love that, you know, and and I think oftentimes what we believe is we have these timelines for how we believe our lives should be going, where things should be at. And the reality is like there's no timeline, there's only life, there's only being born and then dying. And everything else in between is literally what you choose to involve yourself in. And so if you choose to involve yourself in a process of transformation like that, you can't transform until you are done transforming. It's just right.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

No, it's it's spot on. Um, you know, we have our birth date, and then we have a date at the end of that that we I mean, we all like to plan. I mean, I like to tell you, hey, Darrell, here's the show date, here's what's going to air. But but you know what? That's a lot of things we don't have control over. However, we like you said, we have a control over our choices, who we surround ourselves with, how we choose to talk to people. I told uh a university president the other day in this show, I had some students one day, I didn't know there were students who are huge, you know, they were waiting for me. I was running down to the restroom and I saw a guy uh cleaning the floors, uh, maybe a custodian talking, and he's about my age. And I mean, we started talking about football and this and that. That I had more students come up to me individually and said, you just embodied without knowing it, everything you've talked about. And I said, What did I do? And they said, You treated everybody with respect. I was like, but it's who you are when the people aren't watching, I think is the most important lesson, right? It's not just, hey, when the cameras are on and you can smile. And we all make mistakes, but it's do we do we learn from that? Do we grow? Do we have that growth mindset? You know, and and um that meant a lot to me. I was so shocked to go on. We saw you in the hallway having that conversation when most people wouldn't give, would have never stopped. I'm like, well, I'm not better than anybody else. I just have to be especially in XYZ.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

Yeah, you know, it's and I'm I'm even coming back to the point where you said not, you know, I not just do this work in the community, but also I teach it. And so one of the one of the really important things for me is alignment and congruence. And so I I don't want to be a leadership professor that just comes in and teaches about leadership without leading in the field.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

And that's the transformation that I want my students to undergo is I don't want them to just be leaders in their industry who can just talk about what it means to lead in their industry. I want them to actually be acknowledged as such. Um, and this is why I have students who are working for Fortune 500 companies, world travelers, students who are doctors and lawyers. Uh, these students are special. And I don't think that uh is it's just me, but I'm thankful that you know uh the the divine has sent people who can hear my message to me.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Amen. And you uh brag on you won an award there for that uh lecturing too, right? Am I remembering that right?

SPEAKER_02 13:11

Uh I was nominated.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Now nominated, and I'll take a nomination.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

I'll take a nomination. Nomination's huge, and and that's important, you know. But you know, what I realize also is like getting the award is not actually the glory. Um, and I even was I find myself even chasing. So like I'm human, like I find myself even being like, oh my god, I'm nominated for this amazing award. Like, what if I win? What am I gonna say? Blah blah blah blah. And then end up winning. And I think that's a humbling experience to let me know that like I'm not in this for award winning, exactly in to literally change the lives. And so that's what you know, kind of you were talking about. It's like when people see me, and I've been able to say that I've done all these things and accomplished all these things, and then they realize like I'm just a regular dude who like I like to play basketball, I like to go out to eat, I like to travel and eat good. I mean, I like to travel and eat amazing food, right? Sometimes overeat.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

Yeah, right. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

I you know, I have a I am no problem with kicking it at the bar watching a game. Like, I'm just a regular guy that likes to spend my extra time pouring into people. And and I think that part of that is because I was a guy who sat on my couch and talked about all the problems in the world for so long, and I got tired of even myself hearing myself talk about how these things need to change and how these people need to change, or these schools need to change, or these teachers, or these students need to change, when I can just try to be the change. And that's when the real work started.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Yeah, yeah. And that you you're you're I feel kind of like goosebumps, man. I feel like I'm I got energy going here, even though we're we're we're we're doing this uh uh uh online. But you know, it's um yeah, there's too much, regardless of you know, take 2024 and every other year you want to talk about too many people are sitting and complaining and talking about it. And all I've ever tried to do is say, well, what can I do to make a difference? Even if it's one human being that I could impact. It could be a guy walking down the street, it could be a guy at the gas station, it could be holding the door open for somebody, it can be patting someone in the back. I had a student in one of my classes recently, he he kept apologizing because he's like, you know, Dr. Syrers, I'm so sorry, but I got to go to work and I'm having another job, I'm having to do to make it. And I went up to him kind of in an auditorium side, I pat him on the back. I said, Hey, one day you are gonna be out of head because you've had to bust it this whole time. Don't don't put your head down and whatever. I said, you know, I worked through college, whatever. I said, I promise you on the other side, you're gonna be stronger for this. And he goes, Thank you, sir. I'm like, just keep doing what you're doing. And he, you know, at the end, you know, and but you just don't know, dar, you know, what's that person you're gonna say at the right, you know, what's he what do you say? And I all I know is I did too. I talked a lot when I was younger. I had a big talking game, talking about what should happen, what should happen. That didn't do anything. Doing and talking are two different things, and I don't have all the answers, but I'm tired of people complaining if they don't have a solution.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Mm-hmm. I and and the first person I was tired of was myself, me too. And so for people who are out here listening to this and they're like, they're ready for a transition, they're ready for a shift, they're ready for like something different to happen in their lives. What you first got to tell yourself is that you are the reason why you are in this position. And then once you realize that you have all the authentic power and authority to change it, that's when that's when world, that's when like you can change worlds using your words, using your actions, using what's in your spirit. Um because that's literally how I got here. Now, I'm not saying it's easy, no, you you definitely gotta sacrifice, right? And you gotta be willing to put your purpose before anything else and trust that like even if it's not clear, you have everything that you need.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Exactly. And there's too many people. I'm I'm gonna butcher this, but I want to say it's Victor Frankel, uh, search for meaning where you're gonna do response. Able, we have ability to choose our response. When I was younger, I I tended to look at the negative. Well, why'd this happen to me? Why this happened? And now I look at it as I've gotten older of like you start getting a little wisdom under your belt, like this is probably not the right time to send this email to this person, or this is probably a need to be in an in-person conversation, or this is something. Well, you know, every year goes away, but you we we we work on every day, but you go, you know, I've done something like this before, it backfired, or you know, I haven't talked to them and they need to hear my voice, or whatever it is. And I really try to mull, you know, because communications is the crux, you know, of leadership, how we communicate, verbally, non-verbally, what we write, especially today's world, where you just somebody write something and they emphasize or give you a thumbs up, you're like, what, what does that mean? So it's a constant of, you know, that's what I've raised my kids with of saying whatever email chain or text chain, I want you to pretend that's going to be screenshot to the world so that you're still going, I'm still proud of how I finished things or how I wrote that. And and and yeah, I kick myself 10 or 15 years ago for things. I'd go, I should have, I should have written that better, I should have done better. But I teach a lot of people, whether it's people older than me or younger me, is like how we communicate. And again, it can be a nonverbal gesture, it's patents on the back. People watch and you feel energy from that, but it's got to be real, it's got to be genuine and come from the heart.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Yeah, and and and here's a more practical way for folks who are listening to kind of think about how they communicate. Uh, because I use assessments in all of my teachings, and and I think that's a really important um space for people to increase their self-awareness um in so many different ways. And so, what has helped me understand myself a lot more uh as it relates to communicating with others is the disk assessment. And so, like, I know that I am not that cautious. So, like, high on the C, I am not high on C. I'm actually very spontaneous, sometimes might even be reckless. It's it I'm up in the are you in the I? I'm I'm definitely high I'm ID.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

High ID, that's what I am. Yep, yeah, I'm with you. I mean, it's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

Listen, that's what I was gonna say in the DI rare area, I'd say uh and so I I now learn that I have I and I need checkpoints. And so one of the checkpoints that I have is also my partner, my wife, my best friend, because she's super high. She might be 99100 C. Yeah. Right. Same thing if if I want to send something out and I know that I'm me, then it needs to go through her. Exactly. Because she's the thinker, she's the slow pace, she's the consciousness of what what am I really trying to say, versus me, I'm very directive, I'm very interactive. So in my mind, I'm writing almost as if people are in my head.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Uh and you're probably very intuitive too with Myers Briggs, I would say, right? Oh, yeah. Uh well, so so uh I'm actually uh so E N I want to say F. I want to say F P A are you I mean N F P preference.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

It might be it might be P. It might be P. It's been a long time since I took my break.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

P's is uh I tell people like if you have your you're on vacation and you can get up at whatever time you want to get up, it doesn't make any difference. Are you gonna set your alarm or not? And I'm like, I I'm not because I'm if I want to sleep for 30 more minutes or read the yeah, and they're like, at my job, I have to be a J. That's the time orientation is what it is. And and they go, Well, I have to be at work at 6 a.m. Well, of course you've got to set your alarm. I'm saying, but if you could do whatever you you want to plan your vacation every step of the way for the week, or do you want to plan some main things but then have some spontaneity in there? And then everybody goes, Well, you know, so that's the big one, J and P, but yeah, I'm a toss up, I'm a toss up. I like both. I've learned to be a J. I mean, to what's the word? To project more J. People are gonna be, what in the world are these two guys talking about? We're just in the link. We're gonna look at alphabet soup. But yeah, it's funny. That that's funny. Our preferences on both DISC and uh MBTI are very similar. Uh, that's that's fan, that's fantastic. Well, what's something? Um, what do you see? Some trends going on. I mean, you're you know, you're lecturing in leadership, and I'm seeing you know, every school starting to incorporate that as a program. I mean, from when I got my master's in org leadership 15 something years ago, they they barely had any master's programs in it. And now you got many doctoral programs, bachelor's programs, galore, uh you know, UNC Wellington has with a minor in leadership, I believe, right? But you know, it Is is this, you know, teaching about hey, how do we get into the workforce and then bring the skill set? Not that you're gonna be CEO day one, but you know, what are you gonna bring to the employer? What do you bring? Now, what are you gonna get? What do you what skills and you know, how do you see things when people are kind of what's going on in higher ed? What's going on with the different generations? I got my thoughts, but you're you're an expert in it too.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

No, you know, I can only go by some of the research that I've seen, and that's that's only literally what I've seen. And so I haven't seen everything. Um, but I think one of the things that really resonates with me is that college populations are being becoming more and more diverse. And when I say more and more diverse, I mean like you have more historically underrepresented, marginalized communities being admitted and also attending colleges, and so women outnumber men um by large, large, large margins in some schools, right? Some institutions, um, people, students of color coming, you know, are increasing, students from international backgrounds are increasing, um, students who are uh working through mental wellness or this or uh physical wellness issues are also increasing. Um, and you have your traditional, you know, 18 to 24-year-old, you know, white, uh potentially middle, upper class, those are decreasing. Um, and so where those changes are happening, colleges can no longer operate as if we have legacy students who kind of have a specific life path already planned for them coming into college. And so if that is the shift that is happening, again, this is not necessarily about being about like, oh, well, we need DEI and all that stuff. Like, I think it's just the reality of like students are getting are coming to college older and younger, right? Coming from backgrounds where they don't have the tutelage to understand what colleges mean. And then we are living and operating in an economy where you have to kind of understand what skills and gifts do you bring to the industry before you even apply or even are hired for the job, right? You have people who are who have bachelor's degrees who have to get jobs for that that require a high school degree, or you have a master's degree getting jobs for that require a bachelor's degree. That is happening. And so why you need a leadership program that is more academic and co-curricular in nature is because you have students who are traditionally not taught these things at home coming into a school hoping to learn these things in a in a in a degree program, and that's not happening. They're not teaching them about what it means to be a leader in engineering, they're just teaching them about how to be an engineer. They're teaching them how to be a nurse, not what it means to be a leader in nursing. And when you are a leader, you're talking about a person in a field or an industry, you know, nursing, engineering, biology, whatever you want to, you know, you can keep going social work. You are talking about how do you influence outcomes, not create them. Right? And so it we can't just operate as if, oh, well, I'm now the person who's hired, and so now I know everything that needs to be done without being able to say who's been working on these things, what kind of outcomes have they achieved, who's what type of influences that they had in that industry or that organization, what is the disadvantages and advantages of the approaches that they have taken before? This is all people and social-centered work, yes, right? You you have to be able to know how to get stories out of people and then play stories in people, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:43

Right. Yeah, yeah, no, it's spot on, man. I mean, it's it's spot on, and you know, I could look at anything from you know, I've been the announcer for what'll be year 11 of my three daughters, Paul played soccer for high school high school, and the booster club there has had a lot of dynamic changes over the years, and I can look at the culture and the people and what's going on, and and it's it's fascinating. Uh, like you said, in most things, if you're an IT guy, you know, you learned how to do IT. Or, but but but but but a lot of people, if you talk to an accountant, well, yeah, I'm not really a leader, so so I'm um I am um, you know, I'm just an accountant. And and the whole point is, you know, you can lead and I say fail forward. You got to maybe willing to fail to get back, go out, brush yourself off, and learn. Because none of us have all the answers. But if you you're willing to fail to grow and say, okay, this didn't work as I thought, I'm gonna go to plan B or plan C or plan D or I have plan J. You know, I keep trying things. But yeah, I think that's the common misconception, you know. But anyway, when I was talking about, you know, just a nonprofit organization, a bunch of volunteers, how it works, how it communicates, who's willing to step up, making people feel valued when they're working for free. I mean, no, when it's not a job and people got to volunteer, you've got to make them feel important. And, you know, I've had some great people over the years. I said, What's your pay? And they're like, rounding to the nearest dollar, Ryan, that's zero dollars an hour for the last four years. But they enjoy it because we build a camaraderie and we make something special for the kids or whatever it is, anything in church, uh, or things I've done over the years. If you're not getting paid to do it, and you can get people to buy in and want to be part of something, uh, but not because they have to, but because they want to, that's powerful.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

And that's leadership. It's leadership. It's it's not just having a vision, but it's also having a plan.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

Yes. I told a lot of my students one time in different classes over the last few years, like, why are you here? And they're like, Because my grandmother told me too, right? I was like, no, no. What do you? I mean, you don't have to be here. I want you to want to be here, but why are you here? And uh, and to your point, Dara, I saw a lot of people going, Well, I mean, we're the first generation to go to college, or we're the first, you know, we're we got a job. And I'm like, Okay, okay, but what do you want to do with this? You know, and and it's just that energy, and you and I both, I can feel it. But it's the story. But I'm like, you don't have to do anything, you could never come to this class, you can feel it, you can go sit out there and do whatever. I said, But if you want to do it, you you want it bad enough, you'll find a way. And if you don't, you'll find an excuse.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

Like, like I had to work with these high school students, it's just deny opening experience. One of the things I feel like I did well was get them to reframe their why. Yeah, and so I started with like, you know, why are you here? And they was like, Oh, well, I want to learn about the medical field, or I want to learn about, you know, I want to connect with medical doctors, and I was like, Cool. So, like, I could totally want to be here to become a better leadership facilitator. I can that could totally be it. But here's a bigger reason why I'm here. Um, my son has speech therapy because he's almost three years old, he he's barely seldomly using words. Right, there is there's reason as to why we want the best type of schooling for him because we don't know what type of schooling experience he's gonna need for him to be successful, that might cost us some money, right? My son, who is super huge into gaming, self-preparing gamer at nine years old, he we want him to gain a skill in that in that field. And so putting a nine-year-old in a robotics camp or an IT camp that costs a little bit more than you know, your sports YMCA, you know, just basketball camp. That's my why. So, like, why why are you here? And so then you got a chance to hear students talk about, you know, a doctor saved my life when I was a child, right? And I want to be able to get back to the field. Or my a doctor say my mom or dad's life. My dad and my mom has been dealing with health issues during whole entire my whole entire life. That's why I'm here. That's that's motivating, that's gonna keep you pushing forward even when your commitment feels like it's is it's drying up. Your why is gonna help boost that commitment a little bit more when it's more than just connecting with a doctor.

unknown 30:04

Right.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

Wow, I mean, you know, it's funny, you you know, I I always say my why I always make them watch Simon Sinek's famous TED Talk video, you know, start with why. And I make and then I'm like, now my why is at this point in my life, my kids, my future grandkids, with everything in my the shows, the blessings I've been given, as you said, the outlets, the magazines, teaching, speaking, with every breath I have, or as long as I can write and speak, I want to make a difference in people's lives. And I don't know how long that time is, but as long as I have it, I want to make an impact. I said, My why, I don't want to write you guys off as all you do is play on TikTok or whatever. I believe there's a lot more there. And I've been proven that there is a lot more there if we're willing to go deeper with them. And I'm not saying them in terms of an age, I'm talking about people and their stories and and their backgrounds and get to meet on common ground.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

It's it's that's that's leadership, and I think people we confuse it because we have these positions, we're in this these authoritative roles, or we have these policies and procedures that, or we have these unspoken rules in the organization that says that we can't talk about certain issues and things. But the reality is like you can't leave a part of you at home, amen. Like you gotta bring it all. Well, you you you it's not have to, you're going to. You're going to like you, you can't. I can't just be like, oh, well, today I'm gonna leave home my spirituality, right? I'm gonna leave home my gender, right? Yeah, I'm gonna leave home my education, right? Like today is not, I'm not like you can't do that. That does it doesn't work like that.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

No, you can you cannot do that, and and that's where I think we got a few minutes left. I mean, we can we might have to do a follow-up on this one. This is awesome. I mean, this is a all right. I'll tell you what, let me let me let me go to one of my favorite things. What what other things we've got a few minutes left? Uh, have I not asked you that you want to say to our audience? You know, this is a community leadership show around the country. Just you've said a lot of powerful things, but if we come to an end, you know, and I know our world's attention span gets tight, and they probably want to Google Disc and Myers Briggs, understand what the heck we're even talking about. But uh, seriously, what what have I not asked you that you just want to share with our audience? Um, that's a loaded question.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't I don't know if it's anything that you asked me, ask me, but if if anything, I want people who listen to this to know that you are naturally gifted and talented. You have all that you need, you never have to compare yourself to others, and you are enough.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

It's powerful, it's powerful. And you know, I'll just add to that in this world of constant social media, and you and I talked about the human flesh. I if I look at something, you know, you're looking, there's some people, and and you can go down a rabbit hole that is a bad rabbit hole of and get in worried about stuff that just doesn't matter. To your point, we all have who we are, you know. Uh God created us specifically with specific DNA, and then I say, whether it's right, wrong, or indifferent, to me, God has a sense of humor because He created me and I'm a goofball, you know. So uh, but man, I'm gonna tell you what Michael can I can I add to that?

SPEAKER_02 33:09

Please, please. Um, oh my gosh. Um, so so you know I I think oftentimes what we do is we get down on ourselves because of the problems that we might face. And we gotta realize that the problems that we face are uniquely crafted to our specific natural gifts and talents. Even if we don't have the necessarily the skill to manage that gift as well to address that challenge, you gotta know and believe that when a challenge comes to you, it's for you, not to you. And it's for you to use your natural gifts in the best way possible so that you can be somebody else's roadmap. I love it, right?

SPEAKER_01 33:57

I love it. No, man. Well, I I'm gonna close this out, man. We might have to do this again, and uh we, you know, um, this is can't can't wait to uh we'll get together soon in person. But I'm gonna close this out and and close out the show. But this is Dr. Dar Mayweather again, professor, professional leadership speaker and lecturer at UNC Wilmington. So, Dar man, appreciate you coming on the show.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

Thanks, Ryan. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Yes, sir. Folks, you've been listening to another community connections, uh, please tune in and we will see you again next time.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

This has been the Community Connection Show with Ryan Stowers. Stay on the lookout for new or past shows with community leaders wherever you listen to your podcasts. And if you want to see the video interview of any show, visit Community Connections TV.com. Thanks for tuning in, everyone, and we will see you next time.