Somebody To Lean On - When You Need to Pick You Up When Your Down

What do you do when you're in an emotional spiral downward?? Do you sit there in the discomfort? Do you distract yourself? There are many different coping mechanisms, but not all area created equal. I find that for myself, most of the stress comes from unrealistic expectations that I put on myself. I found one of the cures is to have a tribe I can turn to, helping me step away and get perspective on what's really going on and that it is already good.

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Transcript

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Most people spend their entire life stress without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want and what's important to them. See, I've heard a couple of all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to live away the corporate job and I hated it. But I broke through the social norms and too much happy. As a result, I own my own coffee company, and just somebody, and I get the travel. You too can live a life that you like, but it starts with inclined what you want. It starts with the new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Brown. You are listening to the podcast. One line. Somebody to lean on. What do you do when you get into a spin? And what I mean by a spin are those moments where you start to doubt everything around you. You you start to doubt, you think that everything is going wrong. And the spin is that flight downward where you feel like things are getting worse, and all of a sudden, the emotional state you were in five minutes ago, you would give anything to get back there because now you're just feeling so so uh so so low. And the the point of this podcast is this was actually a state that I was just in uh before I got myself out of it. So I wanted to share the story um of that as well as the steps that you can take to lift yourself out of those down moments. And it's and it's really, really simple. So there's three things I'm gonna give you. The first one is to get a tribe, a group of people that you know, love, and trust. Secondly, is to show up and be vulnerable. And then thirdly, I want you to show up for other people. So I have an accountability crew that I meet with for my one life course. And we we meet up every single week and we talk about what our deliverables are for that week. With the whole uh intention of this is to keep everybody on the moving forward towards we all have a similar goal. But in moving towards that goal, there are times when each one of us kind of goes through that downward spiral, and as a result, that call, which is normally split in but equally in between three, becomes all about that one person, lifting them up so this way they can continue going. So it's just as it's all it's just as much about our own productivity, or it's just as much about lifting up others as it is about our own productivity. Today was that day for me where I felt that downward spirals looking at everything that I was going doing, just looking at my desk was enough to give me like a panic attack because I had papers everywhere from you know ads that I was creating for my for my coffee, uh I plans for the one life, all the steps I have to do to relaunch the uh the course in June. It was just too much, too much. And I into to add salt balloon, I started going into the comparison mode, and that started early this morning. And as a result, by the time I got into the accountability call, I was like, oh my god, I don't even want to be here. But I did show up because I know that these are the these are the people that I could show up with and be vulnerable with because the only way I'm ever going to, you know, the only way you can get out of the state, like you when you're alone you suffer. But when you have a group of friends that pick you up, now all of a sudden, like, you know, they are there for you. They their problems become your problems in a way. Not, you know, not really, but you know, they do have some skin in the game now because they want, you're there for them and they want to be there for you. So today was all about them picking me up, and I was very, very gracious for it because I took the majority of our allotted time together. And the the findings from this was that I just was putting too much expectation on myself in terms of what I was able to do in a certain period of time. And all of these stresses, all of this uh demands I was making myself, I just couldn't see straight because I was shooting in a million different directions rather than putting all the focus, all the concentration in one. And so I after the call, um, I ended, you know, I just thanked everybody. And then when I after I thanked them, I was like, listen, you don't have to thank us. Like you were there for one of my friends said, You were there for me last week, where I was in that same state. And then the other person that was on the call said the same, you know, they've been in that same place. So it was nice to know that, you know, it's this reciprocation where when any one of us is feeling down, we can reach out to the other to kind of put things in perspective and help pick us back up. So, why is this important? Because, you know, you want to get picked up, you don't want to stay down for too long. Because staying down means like time is getting wasted. And it's not to, I don't want to put stress you out by thinking, like, oh my god, I'm I'm feeling down now. I don't, you know, wasting time, but rather think about the emotions you want to feel and think about when you're in that state, like how much of life is passing you by. Like I know for myself, right? Like you you start to I'm when I look out to my right, I'm looking at the ocean, you you kind of turn a blind eye to all the beauty that's around you. But by talking to someone who can give you some perspective and maybe show sh highlight how you're being a little bit more hard on yourself than you need to be. Now all of a sudden it releases some of that and you you start to open up and you start to just get some fresh perspective in that life is still great, and maybe you just have to dial back your ambitions a little bit and put your focus into one area. When I do the I have my one life blueprint, and in the uh one life blueprint, there is a community, and the whole point is that like the reason I created the one life blueprint in in the in the first place was because I felt like this was the gift I wanted to give people. I wanted to get people excited about their life. But when you are going after things that maybe the average person doesn't, or maybe just your your family doesn't, right? It could seem very, very difficult because you feel like you're fighting an uphill battle, right? Because no one around you sees the world the same way you do. But by creating a community where regardless of whether or not the people want what you want, they still are cheering you on, a place that you can go to share your vulnerability, share your hardship, but know that you can get picked back up. I mean, that's worth all of its weight in gold. So the point I'm trying to make here is that if you want to go further, go faster, create a group, create an intimate group that of a tribe where you can be number two vulnerable with, but also whom you can show up and pick up as well, right? Because it it's all about it's not just about what we give, I mean, sorry, by what we get, but it's also what we give. As that is the intention of this post here. So get out, make that tribe, or if you have a couple friends, lean into them. If you're ever feeling like you're stalk, if you're ever feeling down, lean into it. Like don't think like, oh, they don't want to hear my shit and I don't need to put all that. No, that's what friends are for. I'm reminded this over and over and over again that your friends are there to pick you up whenever you're feeling down. So lean in. Honor your friendships, be grateful for them, show them your appreciation, but lean into them. Hope you enjoyed this post here. I am gonna head out to a cafe right now to do some work. And uh that is um, I hope you guys just lean into your friends. So God bless you guys. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I will see you again next week. But till then, remember live fully, live passionately, and most of all, live now.