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It's A Single Mom Thing
Welcome to “It's A Single Mom Thing,” the show for single moms by single moms, hosted by Sherry Chandler.
Being a solo momma and present parent is hard work, and losing focus is easy when you forget your faith. The good news is you are not alone. You were singled out this season, and together, we can work on what’s not working for you—finding Christ in the crisis! Whether you’re tuning in early in the morning or late at night, I’m here for you, momma.
This podcast is your go-to space for navigating life as a single mom with faith, fun, and a fresh perspective. We'll cover everything from mastering a single-mom success mindset and budgeting like a boss to prioritizing self-care and raising resilient kids. We’ll share time management hacks, parenting perspectives, co-parenting challenges, and how to find joy and laugh again. Together, we’ll move from surviving to thriving in every season of single motherhood.
Be encouraged. Get inspired. You can do this, momma.
Each Monday, join me for practical advice, relatable stories, and uplifting conversations as we walk this journey from solo momma to solo momma. I promise not to take too much of your time, and I’m so grateful you’re spending it with me.
It may be a single mom thing, but it doesn’t have to be the "single thing" that stops you!
It's A Single Mom Thing
Co-Parenting Without the Drama: Slaying Boundaries with Grace and Style
Think co-parenting has to come with chaos? Think again, Mama.
In this episode of It’s a Single Mom Thing, we’re calling out the drama and calling up your peace. Whether your co-parent is cooperative, chaotic, or completely missing in action, this Power-Up Pep Talk will equip you with grace-filled strategies and fierce boundaries to protect your peace and power up your parenting.
We’ll talk about:
- How to avoid the trap of control disguised as communication
- What boundaries actually look like (and how to say them with style!)
- The secret weapon every single mom has to model maturity for her kids
- How to start a co-parenting conversation—even if there’s no plan in place
Oh—and you’ll hear a personal mic-drop moment that will stay with you every time your phone buzzes with a text from “them.”
This episode is filled with truth bombs, prayer points, journal prompts, and practical tools to help you slay the co-parenting game like the Queen you are.
👑 Ready to stop matching energy and start managing your peace? Press play now.
🔗 For class details, prayer support, and more visit: shepherdsvillage.com
#ShepherdsVillage #ItsASingleMomThing #PowerUpPepTalk
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sherri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.
Speaker 2:Well, hey, mamas, I've missed you. It's been a couple of weeks since our last pep talk, and I do hope that you've had a sweet Easter, even if it came with a few sour moments, I know holidays.
Speaker 2:They can bring the whole family into the picture, including the co-parent, and while sometimes that interaction leaves us with more questions, emotions or drama than we expected. So if yesterday stirred something up, this episode, girl, might just be right on time. Today we are talking into the battlefield of co-parenting. But listen, we're not showing up with drama, defensiveness or dysfunction. Oh no, we are showing up with some grace, strategy and the kind of boundaries that protect your peace, not popular patience. The kind of boundaries that protect your peace, not popular patience. So the kind of grace that you know a queen who rules her kingdom with. So if your phone lights up with a text from your co-parent and you feel your blood pressure rising, then this episode is definitely for you.
Speaker 2:Whether or not your co-parent is cooperative, chaotic or completely MIA, you can still parent with peace. Today's pep talk, so to speak, is here to help us slay boundaries with grace and style, and not the other parent with your tongue. So welcome back to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing. Drama isn't a parenting plan. Now, although a good drama makes for a binge-worthy weekend, it doesn't make for a great co-parenting relationship. Nor, ladies, a reality TV show your kiddos should be forced to watch play out. You see, drama is loud, messy and emotionally expensive. And your kids, well, they are often the ones who end up paying the price Co-parenting drama?
Speaker 2:well, that usually kicks off when we confuse control. Now listen up with communication. Now let me say that again, for the mama listening on her commute to work Said differently just because you're talking doesn't mean you are co-parenting. Listen, all talk with no action aligned sinks that co-parenting relationship before it even leaves the harbor. So here's the hard truth. So here's the hard truth. When you engage in unnecessary drama, you're handing over your peace to someone who you know, girl, probably isn't stewarding their own well, and as a queen, you don't give your crown, nor your power away to anyone. So here's a truth bomb that I am going to drop on you. You don't have to match their energy, you get to manage yours.
Speaker 2:Now, in Proverbs 15.1, it says a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Notice, it doesn't say a lighter comeback wins the battle. It doesn't say a lighter comeback wins the battle. Now listen, I have been in some yelling matches myself and even if I won and that's a perceived one I still walked away feeling like I lost. You know why? Because those one-ups or one-liners that I was slinging at him. Well, they may have lifted my mood and emotions temporarily, but my world still came crashing down like a lead balloon and the outcome, yeah, it didn't change and it didn't favor anyone. You know I'm right. Are you nodding your head with me right now in your car? Now, it felt good in the moment, let's be honest to have him have it to list off everything he should be doing, all the ways he's fallen short. But instead of inviting him to rise up and actually be the co in the co-parenting relationship, no, the opposite happened. It pushed him further out and guess what? That left me carrying the full load and my son without a co-parent. So, to help a sister out, here's what I learned that can help you and you're going to take this action.
Speaker 2:Step number one and that would be the pause and prayer rule, and it goes like this when a heated moment hits, first girl, you need to pause before you respond, say a quick prayer, give your spirit a chance to speak louder than your stress and louder than the mess. There is a Bible verse that I have clung to many times in my battles with my son's dad, and I know some of you have heard it before because I have mentioned it several times in a podcast and it is, and you want to it before because I have mentioned it several times in a podcast and it is, and you want to highlight and tab this in your Bible Exodus 14, 14. And I quote the Lord will fight for you, no-transcript. So the next time you're ready to blow up on a brother, be a good mother. Instead, give it to God, write it I don't know in your thriving 25 journal, get it off your chest and onto paper and then close the book on the drama.
Speaker 2:You see, while the Lord gets a grip on the other parent, you get a grip on your emotions and you power it down, maybe with this power phrase that I want to share with you, and you need to probably write this down too. And it goes every time. I choose peace over pettiness. I parent with power. So, whether you need to say that three times, say it five times, say it until your power yes, you know the one that tried to run away it reconnects the spirit of God that lives inside of you. Boundaries aren't walls, they are gates with locks. Now, let's be real. Setting boundaries and co-parenting feels awkward at first especially if you've been operating in survival mode.
Speaker 2:But listen, girl, boundaries aren't barriers, they are bridges to peace, and every good queen wants bridges to peace, not torched wreckage behind her. Boundaries, ladies, are one of your best communication tools and gatekeepers to a successful relationship with really anyone, especially the other parent. You see, boundaries tell the other person what you will and you won't allow. Not to control them, though, but to protect your own heart and your child's well-being. And listen, girl, it is perfectly okay to do that. Think of them like sacred property lines and guess what? You don't owe anyone an emotional explanation for protecting your peace, especially as a head of your household. Listen, girl, you need boundaries that support your parenting plan. So here's the secret sauce, so to speak, for boundaries. Boundaries can be firm and both gracious. So let's do a little practice session here, if we will. I want you to picture you and the other parent outside in a neutral space, let's say like a park or the beach no kids in sight, no eavesdroppers, just a calm place where you can speak clearly. I want you to take a deep breath, straighten your posture and step into this imaginary conversation with confidence and peace. Okay, you ready, you there, and then I want you to try these phrases on for size. Number one let's keep this conversation focused on the kids. Or zing them with a little, I'll respond when I have had time to think about it. Or even, please use our parenting calendar for future changes. Say them with me and say them again. Here we go and grow. Okay, we're going to do this. One again, ready? Let's keep this conversation focused on the kids, or how about? I'll respond when I've had time to think. Or please use our parenting calendar for future changes. How do you feel when you speak them? Can you feel peace, taking the lead instead of pressure or panic? You see, these aren't invitations to debate. They are declarations of calm confidence. You, my friend, get to set the tone Now.
Speaker 2:In Proverbs 4.23, it says, above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. You see, boundaries, they help you guard that heart, girl, wisely and boldly. And sis, listen, grace doesn't mean being a doormat. Okay, grace, think of it as this. Grace is strength under control. It doesn't mean you don't have boundaries. It means you set them without losing your faith or even your flavor.
Speaker 2:So today, I want to challenge you to take this first action step. Ok, you ready? I want you to identify one boundary that needs to either be established or re-established this week, okay, and I am even going to go far as to write it in your Thriving 25 journal, at the very least on a post-it note that you put on your bathroom mirror, that you see on the daily. Okay, then, I want you to rehearse it, not from your pain, though, but from your peace Even better, visualize it, go into the future, okay. See yourself having that conversation with grace and confidence. Feel how your body carries itself, how steady your voice sounds, how clear your words land. This, my girl, is your dress rehearsal. Not for a fight, but for a healthy shift. Because here's the hard truth the more you rehearse peace, I'm telling you, girl, the more natural it becomes your boundaries. Then they won't just feel right, they'll become second nature and not just a declaration, but they become your decree. So here's a special side note for my mamas without a formal co-parenting plan, okay. So listen up.
Speaker 2:If you've had your child outside of marriage and there is no legal parenting agreement in place, you might be listening to this podcast wondering well, where do I even start? And here's where you need to start, girl. Start with one, and I'm just talking one intentional conversation, and that's it, even if the father hasn't been involved or isn't parenting the way you'd hope. Creating space for a co-parenting rhythm that's what we're going to call. It starts with clarity, with you taking the first step in the dance, not with conflict. That's the key to unlocking the potential of something healthier whole family healing. So, first off, listen, you need to stop keeping the score, girl, and you need to pause and pray and ask God to begin opening the door. Whether it's you who starts the conversation or it leaves God the ability to stir something in him. So, in the meantime, this is what I want you to do Practice these phrases like okay, listen up, you hear me.
Speaker 2:Okay, here we go. I'd like you to start with number one, and it's going to say something like I'd like to explore ways we both can show up for our child or children moving forward. Or number two, you could go with this one. Or children moving forward, or number two, you could go with this one. I am open to finding a rhythm that works for everyone, especially for our kiddos. Or here's another one how about this? Let's focus on what's best for them, not what's happened in the past. You see, setting expectations and boundaries, girls. Now, that could really open the door to a whole new season later.
Speaker 2:Don't wait for the perfect conditions, just start with, simply the right spirit. So here's a power phrase I got for you you ready, boundaries, protect my peace, and my peace protects my parenting. Oh, that is so repeat worthy. We are going to say that again you ready, let's go. Boundaries, protect my peace, and my peace protects my parenting. Raising future adults what model they mirror? Now listen, mamas, let's not forget something here your kids, they are watching everything and you know it, girl. So you also know how you respond to conflict, how you communicate or don't, how you protect your peace and how you show grace. Well, these are all the lessons in progress for their future selves. So listen up. I want you to ask yourself am I glad that I was this, excuse me, that this was modeled for me by my own parents, or are you one of the ones who are listening that didn't get that example? And now you have the chance to break the pattern and become the trendsetter for your family.
Speaker 2:Listen, I'm going to tap this microphone. Listen, do I have your attention now? You see, you're not just co-parenting for today. You need to get out of that trap. You, my ladies, are modeling how you, their kids, your kids, will handle their own future relationships, challenges and even their own boundaries. Every calm response, every thoughtful word, every time you, my girl, choose peace over drama. Oh, yes, you are teaching your kids how to regulate emotions. You're teaching them how to navigate tension and you're teaching them how to hold space for grace. Your child is watching how you act and both react, whether your co-parent, is present, problematic or totally checked out.
Speaker 2:Your kids are forming their internal wiring for what's normal and what's acceptable based on what they see from you. Now, listen, I am sure that you don't want those wires getting crossed or, even worse, short-circuited. You want what's best for them, don't you? And that starts with taking the focus listen, this might be a hard one off of you, off of your co-parent, and putting it where it belongs on your kids. You see, god has entrusted you with his bundles of joy to raise them upright, whether you feel ready or not. Well, look out, it has already come and that responsibility is all yours and what you do today it shapes their tomorrow.
Speaker 2:So when they get older and you find yourself asking, well, what the heck, why did you do that? Or where did you learn that? From Ladies? I want you to remember this when you point one finger at them, four fingers are pointing back at you the one who taught him that. You see, this season, you are in this solo season. I know, trust me, I know it feels like it never ends or it will end, but it does and I'm living proof of that, and you need to listen up and learn from me.
Speaker 2:It took everything in me to draw a line in the sand and hold to it. It really did, and it would have been so much easier, trust me, to just erase that line every time. It got hard, but I didn't, because I wanted to do something different and I wanted something different for my son than what I learned. I stood in the gap for the boundaries I set for both me and my son. Whether my ex-husband or his father chose to follow him, that's not on me and that's not on me to pick up and worry about. So listen now as I look at my son, now 20 years old. Listen, he is 21 years, almost 22 years old, standing strong. I'm so grateful that I did. He didn't have to unlearn what I had to. He didn't have to carry the hurts or pick up the habits I developed when I was tangled in the drama or the trauma of a broken relationship with his dad, myself or even our heavenly father.
Speaker 2:Matthew 5, 9 says this blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. So if you ever wonder whether you're holding your tongue, walking away or praying through, it is making a difference, trust me, girl, it is. You, my lady, are sowing seeds of emotional intelligence, intelligence, spiritual maturity and personal strength in your kids, in your future adults, your future husbands and wives. And one day they'll look back and say my mom didn't lose her mind every time something went sideways. No, on the contrary, I saw my mom trust God and she set the tone. So, lady, here is your last power phrase, and it goes like this I'm raising strong kids by being a steady mom.
Speaker 2:So, as I close, let's do a little recap here, okay? Number one you don't need to match drama, you get to manage your peace. Two boundaries are not about shutting people out, they're about inviting peace in. And number three what you model today is what your children will mirror tomorrow. So here is your call to action for this week. One, I want you to choose one, just one boundary to either set or reset this week. Write it in your Thriving 25 journal and read it on the daily. Two, practice speaking it aloud, with clarity and calm, okay, not with conviction and contempt. Three, I want you to ask yourself seriously what lesson do I want my kids to learn by watching me handle this in a healthy manner?
Speaker 2:If you're in the Tampa Bay area, I want to invite you to come join our next in-person it's a Single Mom Thing class. We're digging deeper into these boundaries drama detox strategies and walking this out together, side by side. Visit shepherdsvillagecom forward slash classes to check the schedule out and find your seat in the circle. Two, join the conversation in our private. It's a Single Mom Thing Facebook group.
Speaker 2:Let's talk about the boundaries you're working on and support each other with wisdom and some grace, and don't forget to use the hashtag PowerUpPepTalk so we can find you and cheer you on.
Speaker 2:And three, if you need someone to stand in prayer with you about your parenting situation, girl, don't forget about our 24 7 prayer line at 855-822-PRAY that is open to you and listen, girl, you need to be sure to subscribe to it's a single mom thing podcast on apple podcast, spotify or iheart radio so you never miss an. And if you haven't shared this podcast with another solo sister girl, can you do that now? It will help you. If it has helped you breathe a little easier and think a little deeper, please leave a review and share it with another mama, for they may find the same hope and support that you have. Ladies, listen, you know you are not alone. We are in this. I am in this with you, cheering you on and helping you face your future with confidence and clarity. Until next time, keep parenting with peace and purpose, remembering it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.
