My guest today is Kristi Beckman. Kristi has been a teacher, adjunct professor, soccer coach and served as a culture and wellness coordinator for D. C. United Youth Academy. But she's more than the sum of her accomplishments and job titles. Wherever she goes, Kristi is a leader and a mentor. Whether it's the classroom or on the pitch, I've seen her transform the lives of young people in amazing ways. That's because, put simply, Kristi just gets people, and at the core of her various roles and responsibilities lies a deep desire to help others grow. Our conversation today will explore how the concepts of culture, connection, feedback and accountability impact leadership.
My guest today is Kristi Beckman. Kristi has been a teacher, adjunct professor, soccer coach and served as a culture and wellness coordinator for D. C. United Youth Academy. But she's more than the sum of her accomplishments and job titles. Wherever she goes, Kristi is a leader and a mentor. Whether it's the classroom or on the pitch, I've seen her transform the lives of young people in amazing ways. That's because, put simply, Kristi just gets people, and at the core of her various roles and responsibilities lies a deep desire to help others grow. Our conversation today will explore how the concepts of culture, connection, feedback and accountability impact leadership.
spk_1: 0:00
Hi, I'm really
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and I'm Julie Stern, and this is conceptually speaking the show where we interviewed experts to uncover the concepts and patterns that help us organize our world
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from farming to fashion. We can understand any field to acquiring, organizing and transferring conceptual relationships. We hope this podcast will inspire teachers and students to design creative solutions to complex problems and accelerate innovation in today's schools. If you're interested in our work, you can find out more at Ed to save the world dot com. My guest today is Christie Beckman. Christie has been a teacher, adjunct Professor Yuan soccer coach and served as a culture and wellness coordinator for D. C. United Youth Academy. But she's more than the sum of her accomplishments and job titles. Wherever she goes. Christie's a leader and a mentor. Whether it's the classroom were on the pitch, I've seen her transform the lives of young people in amazing ways. That's because, put simply, Christie just gets people, and at the core of her various roles and responsibilities lies a deep desire to help others grow.
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I don't think we're going to come out of this with a bigger G P a or a better s a t score. I do think the opportunity is there, first of all, to
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be really solid and really powerful. Better humans
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are conversation today. We'll explore how the concepts of culture, connection, feedback and accountability slash empowerment, effective leadership if you're curious about that. Last slash. Stay tuned for an insightful conversation. Our guest today is my personal friend and mentor, Kristy Beckman, a teacher and coach with high school and university experience, both on the field and in the classroom. Today, Christie will be talking to us about leadership. Great to have you, Christie.
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Thanks, Trevor. It's great to be here.
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So to start, can you tell us about your view of the field of leadership?
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Well, I think the field of leadership is, uh, has become a buzzword, and that upsets me greatly because I feel like being a leader can be a leader in your family. It can be a leader in your workplace. To me, it's a lifestyle and not a buzzword. Knowing and understanding your role went to speak and using soft skills to advance you with two things, it can make you happier and more successful, and I'm always saying the good leaders have soft skills that are the intangibles that you that you really need to to promote yourself and your lifestyle. And that's why I don't think leadership. There's a buzzword. I think it's a lifestyle.
spk_1: 2:42
Yeah, so we ask all of our guests to think about their field and then narrow their view of it to its bare bones. It's bare essentials, thinking about one of the most important and fundamental concepts within their fields. So can you talk to us a little bit about that process? And what's concept you came up with?
spk_0: 3:03
Sure. So I teach leadership courses, and I also coach um, and being in a support role in my personal life, I've had to learn how to leave from the back quite a bit. Eso some concepts that have come up with throughout my education and career have been culture. Culture is everything how to build it, whether you're in your dorm room, learning how to deal with other roommates, whether you're in a freshman high school cool class or you're the new kid on your high school soccer team or you're in a team and a work field, Um, that has or women and you're the only man stepping in. You're still responsible for building your own culture. So that's one of them. On the another is definitely connection. Um, how you're coming across too often, I feel like in leadership, we we want to say the right thing. We want to do the right thing. But is the process cyclic? Is it coming back? Lots of people nowadays during Corona Virus are calling themselves teachers, and I'm wondering how much feedback they asked more. So it's one thing if I'm teaching and I think who I've just crushed that it's another thing. If I'm brave enough to ask my students if they gotten the response back and have transferred the knowledge and I usually don't have toe ask, I can tell via connections, which does put us into a little bit of, ah, awkward space. Virtually, however, we're sorting that one out. But those are the people who really leave because they're asking, What did you get? How can I help? What's the roughest thing you have going on? And how can I help you process that so culture as well as connection? I guess for the last one, I would say, um, accountability and empowerment, And I'm struggling to separate those two concepts in my in my brain how I'm going to do that Power could be another one that we could also talk about just things that you really have. Teoh understand the concepts off in order to be more effective as as a human, and thus lead whether it be your twin brother or your your community or the nation. But you've got to kind of have all of that all of those pieces into defining your own role in there.
spk_2: 5:50
One of the things that we talked about before we started recording was about Trevor mentioned that Christie is just one of those people that is super amazing at what she does and an inspirational on, especially to coach high school students and to teach high school students on a course of called leadership. So would you say that connection is important for leaders and that culture? You can see some relationship between culture and connection, And would you say that's important for leaders in general? And would you also say that that is what you do to with young people with teenagers?
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E. I think that's all. Ideo. That's the
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magic sauce of how you know how
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your jokingly my husband calls me the teenage whisper. I don't know if that's a compliment or not. Button. Yeah, take it back late and I got to tell you, the relationship between culture and connection is is super important. I I'm a mom and a coach and a teacher and a friend and the sister and understanding my role when I'm connecting with each of them, and not only what I'm trying to do, but where that person is and how it can get. What, indeed, that particular lately is generally finishing of my entire life for the last 27 years. Some people think I'm brilliant at it. Others, I'm sure, wish I would be quiet. Andi not focus on that, huh? However, it is what it is,
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but I think it's the most important thing to focus on. And there are so many problems and issues. I think in the world today where we think if we could just get the right data set in front of somebody, if we could just get the right information in front of somebody, if we can just stay things in a certain way we can. We can change the world for the better, and all those things were true. But the common element undergirding all that is just people, humans getting people to be willing to step outside their comfort zone to see something from a new perspective. All of these really technical problems that exist in the modern world really just boiled down to the fact that humans could be stubborn and we need help. We need people to work with us to sort of change our mind in our perspective. So I think that I those concepts of connection, culture and empowerment aren't really it's sort like fundamental to everything. So it makes sense that, you know you are able to experience success in all of these fields because if you get those things and you get people, no matter what field or discipline, you're in those game changers.
spk_0: 8:25
So, ironically enough, my last coaching job with with which paid well was I was supposed to stand on the side of soccer Beals with male coaches who coached at a very high level, and I was supposed to e a wellness coach, so to speak for them as well as their their kids, all guys. And so I found myself being paid to connect with people so I would talk to them about their child's and tribulations and their challenges. And I would ask the kids, Would you learn at school today? Are you still dating that girl? Hey, house, I would say The coaches stop worrying about the X's and O's and breed them when they come on the field that it's not rocket science,
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but it just
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shows that you care and a leader hasta care. So if you don't care, you're going to be very ineffective with their exes and oh's, your concepts are going secondary. You do have to actually treat them like you, said Trevor. Like humans,
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I found that interesting. How you said it's hard. Can you tell me a little bit more about what you mean about how it's hard to distinguish between accountability and empowerment? I don't think the average person would say those things are hard to distinguish between what can you tell us a little bit more about that?
spk_0: 9:49
Well, I feel like one is very inspiring. It's the transfer of a nayda to something and the other is something that you have control from within. For example, empowerment implies that I'm going. I can reach somebody else and and do that. But more often the connotation of that term and my personal opinion is I have to empower myself and continually make my situation better as a leader on and as a person to to say that the accountability piece, in my opinion, is very personal, especially in the education world. Now speaking with my 15 year old son and with no one watching with no teachers to tap him on the head and keep him focused, the accountability piece for him has to come from from within.
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Hey
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has to hold himself to a standard. One of the things I'm either really good at or really bad is letting kids know where the bar is, what the expectation level is from the get go. And I say to them upfront, no hard feelings just so that you know, the bar is very hot. You have to do you have to be this person. You can't fake it with me, so I'm going to be able to see if you're getting it. I'm going to see and give you feedback on the level of energy you bring and an activity. I'm going to tell it like it is in my personal opinion, because I get to be the teacher and the coach right now and you get to be the player or the student. So I'm going to tell you what that IHS accountability in my opinion is from where you set the bar from yourself and empowering is more of a A I I can really be He and we both feel a little bit better to inspire and to lead. But I think that we don't talk much about accountability and education. World. My opinion is that kids feel like accountability equals they're great. Ask Children about their grades are how the classes going. They say things like, Good, they could have a c, they could have an A and they'll give you the same third, which is yeah, good. And I'll say, Well, why do you ever seen that? Oh, well, I have a c, but I can get it right. So why aren't you getting like? I don't understand why you're not getting it? Like if you had the accountability piece and it wasn't grade oriented. It was Laura. I take pride in this. The expectation level for me is different. I'm going to set the bar higher. That's a very individualistic thing in my personal opinion. So I try to lead, and I tried to teach them how to gain a little bit of accountability. Strangely enough, Trevor, not to get completely derailed here, but I have found that accountability is easier to teach using social media platforms. It's out there for the world to see.
spk_2: 13:05
Once they're studying,
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you can rewind the tape and site. But wait, you told me this was your purpose Moving forward. Now, what are we doing? Why does this little activity that you did today that I'm upset with not have the same purpose that you had yesterday? Like, Are you focused on your purpose or not? So I was only a really long answer.
spk_1: 13:30
No, that that's great. And something that you that you touched on that I like that I think Julie was sort of exploring with that question is when we hear the word accountability as people in education, it's cuts like nails on a chalkboard. Almost. It's like we think evaluations, we think metrics. We think he's really crunchy things that that are used to hold our feet to the fire instead of empower us. Uh, but what I like Christie is how you're thinking about not accountability from external systems, but accountability from within. And then even, almost maybe even more importantly, released on the state level is what is my accountability to the people that I'm connected with to the people that I share this culture with. So it's not about getting the grade. It's not about, um, you know, having good grades. It's about being invested and being connected with the people that you are sharing this sort of cultural space with, And I think that that could be a really powerful way to gain some of the benefits of accountability without it being this sort of negative thing that is foisted upon us. So what are some of the ways that you have experienced to get students to buy in to that idea of? I am accountable do myself because I deserve to bring my best to whatever activity I'm doing, and I need to be accountable to the people that I'm sharing this cultural space with.
spk_0: 14:57
Well, there's a variety of different ways. I think the first trick to accountability is to not make it is to add levity. I know that that sounds insane, but I enjoy doing things that are fun, and I will buy into just about anything. And no one will ever outwork me at anything. But it has to be fun. And so if you meet him, old teachers trick. If you meet them where they are and you go from there and figure out what does this person need usually, especially in an education studying. It's just someone being direct and authentic and somewhat fun. That's it. So it's kind of easy for somebody like me who doesn't take herself very seriously to get to know kids and go What's going on? How are you and and give them just indexed right thing to Dio. Let's think about how we can make you a little bit happier today. Everybody wants to be a little bit happier 1% happier in a day. If you could do it in an hour, why would you not? And as soon as they realized that they have control of their own happiness and their own amount of fun. They go bouncing into my classroom. They can't wait to see what the next challenges. And so it's easy for them to want it, to inspire them first and through fun and activities in connection. It gets a little here they already have that solid foundation took to grow from. And they want that back to me. When I coach, it's like euphoria. It's it's me not having to be a teacher and a mom and a sister and a friend. It's It's like it's like an addiction to meet
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me because
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I get to be my true, authentic self. And as Trevor knows, who knows what couple come flying out of my mouth at that particular moment. But it's really who I am. And so I get to be me, and I just want to keep coming back to that so, like you are always talking about, Well, what we talked about on the soccer field is deliberately training. We have to teach kids and education on how to be accountable and how to put their own expectations into the daily lives so that every every moment is not wasted. There's a great book out there by John or Sullivan, and it's called Every moment matters. He wrote it in tandem with Jerry Lynch, who wrote Win the Day. Uh, the wind, though, is W i n and it stands for what's important now. And the minute school was over and my soccer team did not get to compete for a state championship this year. We immediately immediately. That same day, I called each of them and I said, You know what? You deserve a good breakdown. You've got about two hours go for news your mind. Put your parents in the room, throw things cry, break things. I'm losing my mind right now there and then in about two hours, or I'll give you till tomorrow morning if you need it. Refocus, cause guess what we get. Just still be together. We just have to change the game again. This is just us adjusting to life tomorrow morning. I need a schedule from each of you. What do you want out of it? There's no more school. Give me a schedule. Tell me how you're gonna hold yourselves accountable. How many times a day are you gonna check in? What do you think this person needs. What do you think that this player needs? What do you think I will need from you by the end of next week? And they all said the same thing. It was so endearing. They said, you're gonna Well, you're gonna need us to tell you that we're all OK. That's exactly what I'm gonna need. What am I gonna do if I'm not okay? And they said Coach will figure it out. That's why
spk_2: 19:03
I mean
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you and I went, That's right. That's exactly what we dio. And and one of them quoted me and here's senior memoir and said it was like flipping a switch. It was game time. The minute we lost start season, Coach said. We flip a switch if you're on our new purpose, and we go. So it's funny that they have been taught accountability. They're responsible for their reaction to the responsible for their behaviors, and now it's a part of their culture and their families feel the same way.
spk_2: 19:35
It sounds like you. You sound like you draw from the field of psychology in your leadership and your coaching. Do you do that intentionally? Do you read books about psychology? Or would you say it's more experience That sort of brought you all of these realizations that are actual principles in the fields of psychology.
spk_0: 19:54
I think I'm like everybody else. Julie, I think, think I have failed so many times in my life. It's so many different things or I hit a brick wall and I just don't enjoy the idea of stopping at the brick wall. So I do read a lot. You know, Trevor's the one who put phenomenal books and fun of me when I was in a low point in our high school coaching and teaching jobs. And I get a lot from that and again experience, you know, having having lived a long time in a very old age. I can tell you that kids will teach a lot really fast, but I don't want to be that person. I'm not born to get good at something and then stop, just not in my DNA. It is is up for me to continue to be mind blown and to grab energy from people and to go, go, go. I jokingly say to my to my sons and my players that when I'm in a wheelchair with no teeth on the side of the field. My expectation level is as they rolled me out to the field and they will parade their Children in front of me and they will let me coach them because I get so much energy from it. And they said, Your your Children and your grandchildren will be teaching me so much about the world because it's very transactional and that I don't expect to be the voice of reason and have all the experience. Funny that you mention that because I just said to Trevor maybe less than a month ago, how obsessed I am with sports psychology. And if I had my life to do over again, I would go back and I would get a PhD, and I would study it because I find it extremely fascinating.
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And you use some of those things in your own personal because you said earlier, you you know, your your your mother, your wife, your all of these different things and use some of the sport psychology. Can you tell us about how you use some of those sports psychology concepts in other situations and other roles?
spk_0: 21:56
Sure, like mental toughness. What a time in my life. But I'm really struggling to be mentally tough. So I I teach a couple of things with mental toughness, which I think that you will find funny and I teach it. And then in the last couple of weeks, when I was suffering from depression, because I don't get to be in the building with kids, I don't get to coach. I don't get people like Trevor throwing my classroom door open going. Hey, have you read the latest book? I don't have any of that. So I'm combined into a box. So I'm realizing that my anxiety was going up during Corona Virus. Then I went back to you gotta pull this together, lady, you know, you got a lot of people looking at you. So my first thing about mental toughness was just making small, attainable goals. The fear of not knowing what's going to happen in the fall is freaking everybody out myself included. So I sat at the dinner table the other night, and I said so by five oclock tomorrow. Here's what I would really like to have accomplished. I will feel good about it if I could just get this one thing done. So essentially, you know, taking the big elephant in the room and breaking it into something I can do. Yeah, taking it 1% better. Another thing I'm trying to do to be more mentally Top is to take boring things and try to make them more fun.
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How do you do that? Can you give us an example so
spk_0: 23:26
odd, though. But, um, my kids are very into this too. I have, ah, house full of of boys and athletes. And so sometimes we watch a movie and, like the you know, if it's a rocky or if it so when the game stands, Tom, I will say, This reminds me very much of this moment. Remember the scene when and so will try to play out our days or heart, pull more moments as if they were movie scenes and go well, what would the character do if this was the scene? And so we rely on like like Trevor's amazing at pulling in pop culture and just trying to go. Okay, we'll wait. In the movie, the game stands tall. This is what they did.
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You channel this person. I love on building
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on that idea. Christie. One of the biggest strengths that I think that you have is your such a powerful story teller. You know, when you we have this knowledge of, like psychology or sociology and the sort of like technical fields, stories air the delivery vehicle for those. So what role do you think stories play in culture, connection, empowerment and accountability?
spk_0: 24:38
That's such a great question. And the answer is, they provide vulnerability because I'm willing to share and be vulnerable some stupid things that I've done in my past to to tell you a quick story or toe listen to your story and try to reframe it and rewrite the narrative with you helps a whole heck of a lot. Like you said, I feel like stories where everything, unfortunately, as you can probably tell, that's how I talk. I think that's kind of all I have to share is some past experiences, but they've been super important. So I think the story that you tell yourself a story that you share with others, and the story that's being told to you has crazy power. It's everything that we're fighting over. Think about it if you wake up in the morning and you tell yourself the story, that it's gonna be good and that you deserve a great day. Nine times out of 10 you created right exactly what you said. If someone else's before, it's a copper trade burn from quickly on. You don't have to roll in the mud to know you're going to get dirty because you just heard the best friend sharing his or her life narrative and you can smile and go Well, didn't you do that yesterday? Maybe you should change your story, but more importantly, the story that's being told to you culturally. The story that I am continually told, although no one will put a name on it, is that it should make me and everybody else, including shareholders and soccer clubs. It should make us all super uncomfortable because I'm a woman coaching. Then I have been told that and shown that narrative so many times that you would think I would believe it. By now. I just don't but that's their narrative. And so I try not to take it personally, tried to get them to examine their narrative a little bit, because maybe that's not always
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true. Speaking of narrative, a lot of people's life narrative where they saw themselves going the leadership tools that they used their goals, dreams, aspirations have kind of been put on hold with us dealing with Corona virus. So as our final sort of transfer tasker question, how do you see these concepts playing out in this weird digital half life that always sort of find ourselves now talking? How can we tap into the power of these concepts when we don't have the ability to be face to face, be in the same room and sort of feel that electricity that is circuiting around rooms with a powerful culture?
spk_0: 27:20
Well, I think you and Julia doing it right now, To be honest with you, any connection is better than no connection. You told me a long time ago that there were some things that you just had to to do to truly thrive and grow and maintain a growth mindset. And the 1st 1 waas. Make sure that your purpose is accurate and you stay focused on your purpose, and the 2nd 1 was stay connected. So, interestingly enough, my mom died a couple years ago, My father lives with me. He can't stand people. What smoke? I'm putting him on a zoom call with all of his family. So the first thing I have to ask myself, Iss, what does my dad need right now? I don't bring him a ton of energy. He doesn't. And I don't take that personally as just not what he needs. But what he needs right now is to connect with his family because naturally, if you could just see their face, he would smile and not be so crabby. And then my life gets better. So now there's living with me. So he's on his doom call tonight at eight o'clock that I have set up and he told me the 18 reasons why it will not work. And I'm like, I don't care. I'm going to get you on this call with your citizens. And I took me a week to do so so you can see the Corona virus as a terrible thing because it's ah whole. But in my opinion, we're all accountable for being 1% better today than we were yesterday. And so it's my job to make sure that I'm still growing What do I need? Where do I get energy? And then I got to go find that. And if it's a zoom conference with my friends, Trevor, and that's what
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I'm doing and if
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it's a phone call where I get to call and complain and cry my eyes up, I've already done that. Check that square today, but I'm responsible for my growth and my happiness, And so that's what I'm going to continue to do. Nothing has changed. The first thing I said to my seniors, nothing's changed. We still move, We still have a vision, and the vision was always to stay together, and their vision was always to stay connected and to continue to grow. We just don't get to play now or train, but that's our job. That's what we're gonna dio.
spk_2: 29:39
It's it seems like the culture of your classroom was in your end, on the field, as a coach was easily transferred to this online setting, which is awesome. So kudos to you for that. I'm wondering if you thought about if you know we have the summer and if we start the 2020 school year virtually have you thought about could you. Maybe on the fly, provide some tips to teachers for beginning and new school year with a new set of students. How might you set up your classroom If it is virtual,
spk_0: 30:18
I will tell you that Before we left, I didn't think about it, and I gave them. All of my students are hard copy of outlines. I already have my classes set up with individual growth opportunities and, well, his team assignments on. And I said, But you get to define your team. So if you're trapped inside for the next couple of months with five of your family members and you're used to being the baby, you've got to play a different role. So maybe your role now becomes the chief energy officer,
spk_2: 30:52
which I
spk_0: 30:52
want to talk them that concept. So guess what For 24 hours you're gonna let your for other family members grade you on how much energy you brought and what you did that was positive and give you some constructive feedback on that. So you're gonna use the resource is around you. That's pretty much as far as I've gotten as well. As you know, maybe we can send inflict grid assignments. But I'll also say it's makes me extremely uncomfortable, because again, the first thing I asked Trevor when we got on this call when we were being recorded was only going to teach belonging Hughes virtually. I don't know how I'm going
spk_2: 31:30
to do that, but
spk_0: 31:32
to me, that's kind of a challenge. So, yeah, I'm kind of obsessed with it. And I write for Trevor to answer that question.
spk_2: 31:39
I think that's a whole a whole other podcast episode right there is. Yeah, but that's awesome, I think. I think that's brilliant advice to to really have teachers think about what? What is the situation the kids are in right now? Um, what is their home look like? What is their their family? What is their role in the family? And really try to use that as a resource instead of just thinking? All I have is this computer, Um, what did they have there and how can I use that? I think that's great advice, and how can I use that as a way to demonstrate culture and leadership,
spk_1: 32:12
bringing this back to those sort of dual idea of empowerment and accountability? Most states that that I've been seeing are sort of scrubbing grades for the most part, at least for their maybe quarter. For so there's a new question that's being asked now, which is, you know, what is accountability look like without grades into your point earlier? Christy, When the only tool that people use to measure to consider accountability our grades, it doesn't inspire, it, does not empower, does not encourage it. Sort of makes kids great game theorists because they asked themselves, You know how little work and I put in tow will still maximizing whatever number that I get. And I think that it's a great opportunity to reinvent well, who am I accountable to and why does accountability matter? Ah, and to one of the points that you've been bringing up is you help kids connect with what inspires them and what they want, and then you help them hold themselves accountable, and you help them figure out how to hold each other accountable. So a goal that they came up with. Not that not that you forced upon them, but a goal that they have deep within forever reason. How can they reach that together? And I think that's a great question. Just across the board, for everyone and especially for people within education, is how can we help kids find whatever it is that they want to get out of these Next. You know, this next strange amount of time that we're in and how can they hold themselves accountable? And how can they hold the other people within their culture accountable so everybody can maximize their potential? Despite all of the hardships, despite all of the inequity, despite all of the access issues that people are dealing and suffering with right now. So that's just fantastic advice, and I'm going to come up with HR board. I'm a little afraid of asking. Lindsay told me accountable for making sure I'm doing the dishes and taking out the trash on time. But I'm sure she will be. Be happy that the extra layer is there. So yeah, I think that kind of brings things to a nice clothes. Are there any parting nuggets of wisdom that you'd like to bestow upon us?
spk_0: 34:17
I think with you guys were doing right now is absolutely brilliant. I love how brave you are. I love that you're willing to talk about tough concepts and the thing that you gave me before we spoke. I love the focus as the actual transference knowledge. Like you said, Trevor, I don't think we're going to come out of this with a bigger G P a or a better s a t score. I do think the opportunity is there first ball to be really solid and really powerful. Better humans can cap, and you know what, in my opinion, but a college needs that workplaces need that. You know, you don't need a rocket scientist degree to be the greatest server who gets the most amount of tips who has a happy, wonderful life in the world. But you do need soft skills, and it's a great opportunity to not stress about grades and college and book work and knowledge and start to transfer. You're soft skills that are so powerful into the world and become better people. Great opportunity.
spk_1: 35:32
Awesome of it. Yes, eso to close. I think that's a great question for all of us. How can the concepts of culture, connection, empowerment and accountability help us be better? Humans? Thanks for tuning into this episode of conceptually speaking. We hope you enjoyed the conversation and are coming away with the stronger grasp of the concepts and mental models that help us understand our world. If you like this podcast, feel free to, like comment or subscribe on your favorite platform. If you want to learn more or get involved, check out our website that had to save the world dot com and join our Facebook group learning that transfers.