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SPEAKER_02If you have a Bible, and I hope you or somebody around you does, you can look on with, let me invite you to open with me to Matthew chapter 19. Matthew chapter 19. So a few weeks ago I mentioned from Ethiopia that based on our Bible reading in Malachi at that time, and now readings this week and next week in Mark and Matthew, we would be diving into what Jesus teaches about two significant issues in our lives: marriage and money. This past week we read Mark 10. This next week we'll read Matthew 19. Both of these passages describe Jesus' teaching on marriage and money back to back. So today we're going to hear what Jesus teaches about marriage and divorce. And next week we'll hear what Jesus teaches about money and materialism. And on both topics, Jesus speaks in a way that is very different from the way this world speaks. And very different from the way we are all prone to think. And on both of these topics, I would say we are tempted to ignore what Jesus says. In a materialistic culture, it's not really popular to talk about what Jesus teaches about money. And many people, particularly in the kind of socioeconomic setting we are in, don't really want to hear what Jesus says. Even those who claim to be his followers. The same is true when Jesus teaches about marriage and divorce. But as a church, we desperately need to hear and heed what Jesus says and to help each other live accordingly. So we'll talk
more about what that means for money next week, but for marriage today, if we don't talk ab talk together about Jesus' teaching on marriage and divorce, we won't be much help to each other when it comes to marriage in our culture. And sadly, I think this is often the case. In the church, we often don't know how to relate to friends or family members who are struggling in marriage, considering divorce, or who have been divorced. And the result is a lot of people, even in the church, feel really alone in that struggle. Or maybe even ashamed in that struggle. But this is the responsibility of the church that I want us to see on multiple levels, and I put these at the top of the notes you received when you came in, just as a reminder to us as a church family, we must care for one another with concern. This is what it means to be the church. We don't just sit in a service next to each other. That's not the church. We care for each other, we look out for each other, we serve each other, we help each other. We are a church family, which means that when a couple in the family is struggling in marriage, even contemplating divorce, we don't isolate them or ignore that struggle. We lay down our lives to care for each other. Even before struggles, like I need a church. I need men and women around me and Heather, who will be so concerned about our marriage in such a way that if somebody sees me doing something that is unhelpful for my marriage, that they care for me and my marriage enough to talk with me about it. Like I need that. We need that. It's what it means to be a family. We care for each other with concern. We encourage each other with truth, meaning we don't just share our thoughts or our opinions with each other. What we think, we share God's word with each other. In the context of caring concern, we open up the Bible together and we help each other see what God says for our good. So this is where we need to be really careful, not to be a community that says we care for each other, but then does that by giving worldly counsel to each other. Either ignoring the Bible or twisting the Bible to make it try to say what we think others want or others need to hear. That's why we need to dive in today to what Jesus says about marriage and divorce, because we want to be able to encourage one another with truth, not our thoughts, not our opinions. And as we encourage one another with truth, we comfort one another with love. What we're about to talk about in the next few minutes brings all sorts of emotions to the surface in so many different people. I know that even the mention of the word divorce is like opening a wound. Maybe from the past, or maybe it's an open wound because you're walking through it in the present. Heather and I actually spent last night praying and weeping with a friend who's going through real struggle right now, and there are so many emotions that so many of you have experienced or maybe are experiencing right now sorrow, loss, disappointment, anger, regret, guilt, maybe all of the above and so much more. And I so want to be sensitive to that today. Like the last thing I want to do is make wounds worse. I really want to carefully apply the healing balm of the gospel to those wounds. And I want us to see the beautiful, radical, transforming, eternal implications of the gospel for marriage and divorce. And I want to help us as a church to be able to do that in each other's lives. We want to be a church family that comes alongside the married and the divorced with the love and hope and help and strength and healing that are found in Jesus alone. To care for children who are affected by marital struggle or divorce in such a way that those children will be drawn to Jesus, not turned away from him. I want to say to every spouse who is struggling in marriage right now, who has experienced divorce, every child who has been affected by divorce, to anyone who has done anything in marriage that you are ashamed of, or whose spouse or parent has done something that maybe you are ashamed of, there is no shame here. None in any way better than another, which means we hurt with those who hurt, and we weep with those who weep, and we love as Jesus loves. So this is our responsibility before God and before each other. And in light of that responsibility, I want us to hear the words of Jesus and ask God to transform our thoughts around his truth and to cause our lives to be a reflection of his love in a world where marital struggle and divorce are realities. And quite frankly, every single marriage is under attack. And if you don't think yours is, you are fooling yourself. There's an adversary who wants to destroy your marriage. The Bible doesn't say ignore the devil and he will flee from you. It says resist the devil and he will flee from you. So let's hear Jesus' words.
Matthew chapter 19, verse 1. We need to hear his word. When Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? He answered, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? And said, Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. They said to him, Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? He said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery. The disciples said to him, If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. But he said to them, Not everyone can receive this saying, but only to those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. Alright, let's think together about the word of Christ. And I invite you to follow along in those notes that hopefully you received when you came in. Let's hear four truths and then think about what Jesus' word means for our lives.
Truth number one God created marriage. God created marriage. This is where Jesus starts. When he's asked about marriage and divorce, he says in verse 4, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they're no longer two but one flesh. So Jesus takes us all the way back to the very beginning of the Bible, chapter 2, where God creates man and woman, actually in chapter 1, and then brings them together in this union called marriage. Like think about it. God didn't have to create us this way, as men and women. He didn't have to create marriage this way, as one man and one woman coming together in a one-flesh union. But he does. And as he does, God defines marriage from the beginning for our good. Somebody pause there in your notes, because I trust we realize we live in a country that officially denies this. For millennia, civilizations have accepted God's definition of marriage as an exclusive, permanent union of a man and a woman. And about 25 years ago, we reiterated that definition in our country across party lines, what was called a Defensive Marriage Act. But then six years ago, our Supreme Court struck down key provisions of that act, and the way was paved for the redefinition of marriage across our country. In a way that one prominent professing Christian church leader said, this is a huge moment when lots of us are realizing that the old way of seeing things doesn't work. Our country, even professing Christian leaders among us, have said the old way, the way God defined marriage in the beginning, doesn't work. It is appalling audacity to come along thousands of years after God created and defined marriage, 2,000 years after Jesus reiterated that definition, and to say in the last six years, we've discovered God's ways don't work, and we have come up with something better. And to say that while professing to be a Christian, God help us. From the beginning of creation, God has defined marriage for our good, so let's trust and submit to his word. Oh, see the beauty of God's definition of marriage: a man and woman both masterfully molded in the image of their maker with equal dignity and complementary roles coming together to form one flesh, a physical, emotional, and spiritual fitting together of two as one, with powerful unity and diversity, shared equality with variety, personal satisfaction through shared consummation. Mark it down. We don't need to look to any court or government to define marriage. God has already done that for our good, and his definition cannot be eradicated by a vote of politicians or the opinions of Supreme Court justices. The Supreme Judge of Creation has defined marriage, and we gladly trust and submit to his word.
Not only has God defined marriage, but God has designed marriage intentionally. God designs marriage for the display of the gospel. Now, this is awesome on a whole nother level. Think about this with me. Because God's design of marriage as this union between a man and a woman is not random. When God made man and woman and brought them together in marriage, he wasn't just kind of rolling a dice or drawing straws or flipping a coin. He was painting a picture. And this is so important because most people view marriage merely as a means of self-fulfillment or self-satisfaction. Your aim is to find a mate who completes you. And in this view, marriage is an end in and of itself. But that's not what the Bible teaches. The Bible teaches that God designed marriage not as an end, but as a means to an end. God designed marriage to be a picture that points to something greater. So we don't have time to turn there. I'll put it on the screen. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 31. Paul quotes from Genesis 2, just like Jesus does, he says, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. And then he says, This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. So the purpose of marriage is to point us to Christ. Follow the logic here. Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church on the canvas of the world. Ephesians 5 says, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. So a husband is designed by God to be a picture to the world of Christ's love for the church, a selfless, sacrificial love. And Ephesians 5 says, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. So a wife is designed by God to be a picture to the world of the church's love for Christ, a joyful, submissive love. And when this happens in marriage, the world will see a picture of the gospel. Now, when I use that word gospel, some of you may not know what that means. You may be exploring Christianity. You're not a follower of Jesus yet. So let me pause for a moment and say, we are really, really glad you're here. And the gospel is what brings us here together today. You may wonder what brings over 10,000 people and multiple services across Washington, D.C., from over 100 nations and all kinds of political opinions together in our gatherings today. And the answer is the gospel of Jesus. The good news that every one of us has been created by God for a relationship with God, the one true King over all creation. But we have rebelled against God as king. Not just in our understanding of marriage, but in so many other ways. We have all turned from God to all kinds of idols in this world, namely ourselves. And we deserve separation from God forever, eternal death. But the good news is God loves us. And God has not left us alone in our separation. God has come to us in the person of Jesus. Jesus is the long-awaited king in the flesh who came to live a perfect and powerful life of no sin, and then to lay down his life to pay the price for our sin. That's why Jesus died on the cross, to pay the penalty for our rebellion against God, your rebellion, my rebellion against God. And then the good news keeps getting better because Jesus didn't stay dead for long. Three days later, he rose from the grave in victory over sin and death, so that anyone anywhere who trusts in Jesus will be forgiven of their sin and brought back into relationship with God forever. That means God is calling people from all nations, including you today, not just to say you're a Christian or to go to church. That's not what it means to be a Christian. To be a follower of Jesus means you renounce all other gods, idols, you declare allegiance to Jesus as the Lord who gives life. Please don't miss what this means. Like God has brought you here today because God loves you. And God desires a relationship with you. And God has made that possible through Jesus. So I invite you, I urge you to receive God's love today, to declare allegiance to Jesus as Lord and to be reconciled to relationship with God. And when you do, you'll realize this is the ultimate meaning of marriage. To show this picture to the world. Oh, see it, church. I told you marriage and mission are connected together. God designs marriage for the display of the gospel. So, church, let's show his love to the world in our marriages. Last week I was preaching down at Arlington at our five o'clock gathering. And afterward, Eric, our campus pastor there, and a few others, and I met with about 15 Muslim men from Morocco who were in our worship gathering. These men are professors in Islamic teaching across Morocco in universities. And God brought them to us last week. We're sitting around and they were asking questions about marriage. So we talked with them about marriage in the process. I shared with them the gospel. I said, I have the greatest news in the world to share with you. God loves you so much that he came in Jesus, his son, to die for you, to pay the price for your sins, to lay down his life for you. And that is how a husband should love his wife by laying down his life to love her. To lift his wife up with honor and dignity and beauty. And we gladly submit to and follow Jesus, not because we have to, but because we want to. And that is how a wife is designed to love her husband. I have yet to meet a wife who didn't want to follow a husband who selflessly and sacrificially loved her. So let's show this picture to the world. Husbands today, like let's realize what's at stake here. You and I are representing Jesus to a watching world with the way we love our wives. If we are harsh with our wives, we will show the world that Jesus is harsh with his people. If we ignore our wives' needs, we are telling the world that Jesus ignores our needs. If we are unfaithful to our wives, we are showing the world that Jesus is unfaithful to us. Husband, what picture of Jesus are you giving to the world with the way you love your wife? Similarly, wives, what picture are you giving to the world of what it means to follow Jesus? If you disrespect your husband, you show the world that Jesus is not worthy of respect. If you do not pursue your husband, you show the world that Jesus is not worth pursuing. If you are unfaithful to your husband, you show the world that Jesus is not satisfying enough for his people. God has designed marriage for the display of the gospel. So let's show his love to the world. Marriage by God's definition and design is so important, which is why Jesus says what he does in verse 6 what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. That leads to second second truth here.
God create created marriage, and number two, God hates divorce. God hates divorce. Now I'm using language here that we read in Malachi 2 16 a couple of weeks ago, where we see that God hates divorce. And it makes sense, right? If God created marriage to be the union of a man and a woman for our good, for the display of the gospel, then divorce is fundamentally at odds with God's good definition and design. Which leads to the questions that these Pharisees are asking Jesus about Moses and the law in the Old Testament. This whole conversation starts when these teachers of the law ask, Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? So Jesus answers by pointing to God's definition designed for marriage. And then in response in verse 7, the Pharisees point to allowances for divorce. With Moses way back in the Old Testament, in Deuteronomy chapter 24, when Moses gave instructions for certificates of divorce. But that's when Jesus says, verse 8, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning it was not so. In other words, divorce was definitively not God's original design. So follow this in your notes. Divorce is always a result of sin. If there was no sin in the world, no hardness of heart, there would be no divorce. But there is sin in the world. In fact, marriage is a uniting together of two sinners. People wonder why do so many marriages struggle? And experts point to all kinds of problems that hinder marital happiness, communication problems, compatibility problems, financial problems, sexual problems, personality problems. And I wouldn't say those aren't problems, they certainly can be. But I would submit, and I really don't want, mean to be overly implicit simplistic here, but I believe the major problem in every marriage, according to Scripture, is clear. The major problem in every marriage is sin. The big problem in marriage is that every husband and wife in this room at other campuses is a sinner. And that seems basic, but I think we overlook it. I mean, how many wedding vows start with look into your wife or husband's eyes and repeat after me, I am a major sinner. And you are stuck with me for life. Everybody's in tears. But it's true. I hate to break it to you, but according to the Bible, marriage is the uniting of two people whom Romans 3 says have throats that are open graves, tongues that practice the seed, the poison of vipers is on their lips, their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness, their feet are swift to shed blood, ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know. Like those lyrics don't make for a great wedding song. Let's pause while we reflect on the depravity of this man and this woman. And we joke, but here's why this is so important. And we go to all kinds of books and conferences and seminars and experts on marriage. And as long as we try externally to make things work, if the sin problem is not continually addressed in each of our hearts, then we will be putting band-aids on broken limbs. We need to see the problems in marriage for what they are, a war that is going on in each one of our hearts. And that's what Jesus is saying here. But we resist this because the last place we want to look when it comes to problems in our marriages is within ourselves. Jesus says it's sin, it's hardness of heart that ultimately leads to divorce. And almost any marital conflict, there are obviously two sides to the story. And while there are situations, many of them, where clearly more fault lies in one side than another, the fact still remains both are sinners, and any divorce is a result of sin. Divorce is always a result of sin, and divorce is often sinful. In two ways, in particular, that I want to note here. One, God hates divorce, and there are only a couple of exceptions in which he allows it, which we'll talk about in a minute. But outside of these exceptions, divorce in and of itself is a sin against God. And that's critical for us to hear in a country, in a culture today, where the ability to divorce is relatively easy. All you need is a mere statement of irreconcilable differences. You can get divorced online pretty cheaply and quickly from your phone. Which is why we desperately need to stop and ask, when does God allow divorce? And then, second, even when God allows divorce, we must be aware that the temptation to sin while pursuing divorce, even on biblical grounds, the temptation to sin while pursuing divorce is particularly strong. It is very hard to go through a divorce process, even one for biblical reasons, without sinning. For example, your spouse may have committed adultery against you. And I do not presume to know the depth of hurt and anger and sense of betrayal and all the emotions that go with that that are pure before God. But I do know that there is an adversary who wants to take those emotions and turn them into malicious speech or deep bitterness that it will eat at your soul. And I want to exhort you to guard against these and other temptations. It's really hard to do, really impossible to do without Jesus. But he is with you. The one who is betrayed to his death is with you. Every step of the way, he knows how you feel, and he wants to help you. He wants to help you avoid responding to sin with sin. Divorce is often sinful in many ways. So when is divorce not sinful? When does God allow it? That leads to the third truth.
As a result of sin in this world, hardness of heart, Jesus teaches us that God regulates divorce. Meaning, though divorce was not a part of God's design for marriage, passages like Deuteronomy 24, which is being referenced here, and Matthew 19, which we've read, and then 1 Corinthians 7 later, all make clear that the Bible acknowledges the reality of divorce, and in these passages, God gives us certain regulations concerning divorce. Regulations, not suggestions. This is not God giving us truths that are open to be added to or taken away from by pastors, counselors, lawyers, or anybody else in the 21st century. God doesn't give us suggestions to be considered, he gives us commands to be obeyed for our good. God, in his word, gives us two potential biblical grounds for divorce. One here in Matthew 19, and then the other in 1 Corinthians 7. So here in Matthew 19, we have this conversation between Jesus and the Pharisees. And the Pharisees put this quote from the Old Testament from Deuteronomy 24 before Jesus, trying to trap him. Because there were different schools of thought in first century Judaism about what might allow for divorce. One school of thought believed that a man could divorce his wife if she had committed any type of immodest behavior or sexual immorality. The other school of thought, which is more dominant school of thought, interpreted Deuteronomy 24 much more broadly, saying that divorce was possible whenever a wife did anything displeasing to her husband, which basically led to men divorcing their wives for just about any reason. So that's what the Pharisees are thinking. And Jesus says to them, I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery. So Jesus puts on the table here one ground for divorce in Matthew 19: adultery. And there's some debate even about what that means, because the word for sexual immorality that Jesus uses here is pornea, which is a word that's used to refer to all kinds of sexual sin in the Bible. But in the context of this passage, where Jesus is just referred to this one flesh union of marriage, the picture seems to be one of a spouse who violates that one flesh union. That is a serious violation, not only against the spouse, but against God. And this exception makes sense in light of what Jesus has already explained when it comes to the one-flesh meaning of marriage. Adultery in defiance of God places another person within that union. Adultery demeans, shames, abandons a husband or a wife for selfish gain. And such sexual immorality, Jesus says, is extremely serious and is grounds for divorce. Now you look in the Old Testament, and adultery was punishable in the Old Testament by stoning. We see stern warnings throughout scripture against it. In fact, let me pause here.
Because I assume in a light of the number of people who are gathered right now in this room and other campuses, there are men and women here today who in your mind have flirted with adultery, thought about adultery, stepped an inch toward adultery, maybe on the verge of adultery right now, some I'm assuming are involved in an adulterous relationship right now. So if adultery is anywhere near you right now, even in the recesses of your mind, in ways that you have tried to cover up, I urge you to hear Proverbs 7. Describes a man wandering after a woman, not his wife. The Bible says, with much seductive speech she persuades him, with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver. As a bird rushes into a snare, he does not know that it will cost him his life. Oh, sons, listen to me and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways. Do not stray into her paths, for many a victim as she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death. Oh, hear the word of God, men and women. Run, run, run.
SPEAKER_01You are like a cow going to the slaughter right now.
SPEAKER_02Proverbs 632, he who commits adultery lacks sense. He who does it destroys himself. You do not realize how dumb you are right now.
SPEAKER_01You are walking to your death. And convincing yourself it's good. Run. Run. This is the gracious word of God to you today. Don't rationalize. Run. Don't flirt with it. Flee.
SPEAKER_02Back here in Matthew 19.
Notice that Jesus does not say that when adultery occurs, divorce is certain or required. Instead, Jesus says divorce is possible in this situation. So you might think, it sounds like Jesus was lining up with that first school of thought among first century Jews, but the reality is they would have seen divorce as certain in cases of sexual immorality, adultery. But this is where we begin to see implications of the gospel for divorce in Scripture because Jesus is approaching the possibility of divorce in a redemptive manner with a totally different perspective than the Pharisees. They were searching for circumstances in which it would be possible for them to divorce. And Jesus is saying in his response that we're not looking for reasons to divorce. Like the goal here is not to look at the letter of the law for a loophole that allows divorce. That's not how we look at God's word. We're not looking for reasons to divorce, we're longing for reconciliation to occur. Notice how this teaching in Matthew chapter 19 comes right on the heels of the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew chapter 18, where Jesus taught his disciples to forgive extravagantly. And the implication's clear. Like work toward reconciliation, pray toward redemption and restoration, not because it's easy, because Jesus is in you. This is the heart of the gospel. I thank God for marriages I know in this church. Good friends of mine that have been restored by God's grace despite adultery. And then this is not to shame anyone or make anyone feel guilty who divorces after adultery. Jesus clearly makes that exception here. He says the same thing in Matthew chapter 5. So divorce is possible after adultery, but it's not inevitable. You say, how can a marriage survive adultery? And the answer is only by the power of the gospel. For those who have committed adultery, forgiveness is only possible by the love of Christ upon true repentance. For those whose spouse has been unfaithful to you, continuing in marriage is only possible by the power of Jesus in you. The power of Jesus to love and forgive and care, even when you are hurt. This is the love of Christ on the cross, and he lives in you. And I want to be careful even here because there's so many different circumstances in so many different lives. There are circumstances where one spouse may commit adultery once and realize their sin before God. Their spouse confess that sin, hate it, turn from it, humbly, do everything necessary to restore the trust that is lost. Then there are circumstances where a spouse is perpetually adulterous or is sorry just because they got caught, or is not turning from sin, is not working to restore trust. So I want to be careful not to speak definitively where Jesus has not spoken definitively. I want to call us to be in relationships with each other, where we work out the word of Christ in our lives, and the word of Christ is clear here. When it comes to adultery, divorce is possible, but it is not inevitable. And then, even though we're in Matthew 19, I at least want to put this other ground for divorce that the Bible teaches in 1 Corinthians 7 on the table.
So one ground for divorce in 1 Corinthians 7 is abandonment. Abandonment. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is specifically talking about a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever. And the Bible says, I'll put it on the screen here, if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. We don't have time to dive into all that this means. But bottom line, a believing spouse should not initiate divorce with an unbelieving spouse, but should stay married and work, pray, love toward that unbelieving spouse's salvation. But, Paul continues, if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. In other words, if an unbelieving spouse chooses to abandon a believing spouse despite that believing spouse's love for them, then divorce is preferable in this situation. Let it be so, the Bible says. In other words, don't initiate that kind of divorce. But if it is forced upon you by abandonment from an unbelieving spouse, then do not fight that. Again, that's what's clearly taught in God's word. There are so many different circumstances in the world in which we work this out. So here in the Bible, we have two biblical grounds for divorce adultery and abandonment. And any divorce outside of these grounds, God's word teaches, leads to adultery and remarriage. That's what Jesus is saying here in Matthew 19, 9. Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and then the see the other exception in 1 Corinthians 7, and marries another, commits adultery. In other words, remarriage is biblically permissible for the offended spouse after a biblical divorce. So practically speaking, that means the non-adulterous spouse in the first exception for divorce and the abandoned spouse in the second exception for divorce can remarry according to these passages. But outside of this, a man or woman is not free to remarry. Such remarriage would be adultery. Now, before we move on to this last truth, I want to briefly address one other thing that's not mentioned here specifically, but is definitely mentioned in the Bible, and that is abuse in marriage.
So please hear loud and clear today that the Bible takes abuse in any context, including marriage, very seriously. We don't have time to dive in depth into that topic at this point, but the Bible makes clear that abuse is sinful and totally intolerable in marriage. No spouse or child should be in a home with someone who jeopardizes their safety. I, we as a church implore any spouse or child in any such situation to report that to proper authorities. We, as church leaders, will help you toward that end. And I, we urge you to remove yourself from all danger. Again, there are so many different circumstances, but through law enforcement when necessary, as well as church discipline according to the Bible, we must take abuse seriously and walk with each other, with God's word, through how abuse affects marriage and potentially divorce. Without diving in depth here, when a spouse continues an abuse, it becomes clear that a spouse is not actually a follower of Jesus, which begins to show a picture of abandonment that we just saw in 1 Corinthians 7. Again, so many circumstances, which is why we want to walk together with God's word. Seeing, okay, so let's recap. God created marriage, God hates divorce, God regulates divorce as a result of sin in our hearts.
And ultimately, fourth truth, God redeems divorce. God redeems divorce. So I mentioned. I realize this entire subject brings up old and new wounds to the surface. And I realize these can be even hard words to hear in the Bible. But see why God addresses divorce like this. The reason God is so serious in his word about our marriage covenants with each other is because God is so serious about his marriage covenant with us. And this is where I want to remind you, particularly if you have experienced divorce, have gone through the pain of divorce for a variety of reasons, please hear this, know this. As a follower of Christ, as a part of the bride of Christ, men and women, his bride, his body, whether you are the offended spouse or even the offending spouse. If you have sinned, you can find hope here. Or if you have been sinned against, you can find hope here. In Jesus. I want to remind you that in Jesus, he is always forgiving and he is always faithful. Even if the marriage covenant in your life was broken in the past because of your sin or your spouse's sin, know this. The ultimate marriage covenant is still firmly intact. Amidst pain and hurt. See the God who picks you up where you are, not where you wished you were, not where you thought you'd be, or where you really want to be. He picks you up daily where you are and he carries on his covenant of love with you. Please hear this. He will never commit adultery against you, and he will never abandon you. No matter what happens in this world, Jesus never, ever, ever forsakes his bride. Ever. As a follow of Jesus, the reality is you are his bride, and you can count on his love forever. This is the gospel. So, what does this mean for our lives? And knowing there are all kinds of different circumstances, I just want to close with these general, clear exhortations that we see in God's Word.
So, one, if you are a single, brother or sister, if you are single, maximize your singleness to advance the gospel. It's interesting that in both Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7, which I wish we had time to dive in more here, but we see Jesus and Paul both commending singleness for the spread of God's kingdom. That's what Jesus says in verse 11 and 12 here, that singleness for the sake of the kingdom is a good thing. It's not that marriage is bad, but marriage is not best for all people, which is significant to hear because we sometimes have the idea that we need to be married in order to live a complete life. But that's just not true. Jesus was the most complete man, most fully human person who ever lived, and he was not married. Many of the heroes of the New Testament church history were not married. So if you are single, the takeaway from Matthew 19, as long as you are single, is to maximize your singleness for the kingdom of God. At the same time, Matthew 19 is saying, if you are married, love your spouse in a way that portrays the gospel. Oh, let God's word today drive you, husband or wife, to love your spouse well today, this week. This is the word of God today to husbands. Love your wives with sacrificial love. Take responsibility for the glory of Christ in your marriage. Wives, respect your husbands and honor Christ through gracious support of his leadership in a way that shows the world the picture of the gospel. You know, as I was praying this week for you, I also thought about marriages where there may not be adultery or abandonment or abuse, but there is still pretty strong disappointment. I know that many wives and husbands feel neglected, disrespected, uncared for, unloved, pretty lonely. Some can fill in the blanks with other descriptors. Some of you looking at your marriage and thinking, surely God's design is better than this. And it is. So if that's you, I want to encourage you to keep your eyes fixed on him, the only one who can completely satisfy your soul. Like draw near to Jesus and seek help from him in prayer. Cry out to him and devour his word. And then in the church, like we do, we want to be a community that walks with one another, not sits next to each other and then kind of moves on through the struggles of life in isolation. Share your struggles with others. Don't try to do this alone. If you don't know who to share with, like write on the back of your bulletin, there's a response here at the top of that. Like, I need help. Like we want to be a church family that helps each other, love our spouse in a way that portrays the gospel and shows the world the love of Christ. Then if you are married and considering divorce, remember the preciousness and power of Jesus' love. So if you are considering divorce with your husband or wife right now, I just want to urge you to ask first if you have biblical grounds for divorce. If you don't, I urge you to consider how, in the context of your marriage, how with the help of brothers and sisters in Christ, you can resolve that conflict that is real, that is damaging right now in your marriage. Knowing that is only possible. Healing is only possible through the preciousness and power of the gospel. We want to help you. Like write down on that response card how we can help you. We will reach out to you. And then if you do have biblical grounds for divorce, I still want to encourage you to consider the preciousness and power of the gospel with a view toward reconciliation in your marriage, if that's possible. Which again is only possible in the power of the gospel. But the gospel can change even the hardest hearts and restore and redeem even the most difficult marriages. So if you're considering divorce, remember the preciousness and power of the gospel. If you were divorced for a biblical reason and single, rest in Jesus in your singleness, or possibly in a future marriage. If you were divorced on biblical grounds, so you were the non-adulterous spouse in the first exception, or the believing spouse in the second exception, then let God's word encourage you to rest in Jesus. In the singleness God has given to you at this time, and if God grants you continued singleness, we pray that by the power of the gospel he will enable you to rejoice in it. And if God leads you to remarry, then display the love of Christ by the power of the gospel in your remarriage. If you are divorced for an unbiblical reason and single, repent and rely on Jesus to glorify God in your singleness. Repent of your sin to both God, to your former spouse, and let the gospel of Jesus give you great hope for a life that thrives in the advancement of the gospel as a single. While we wait for the ultimate wedding where we will join Jesus together for all of eternity. And then finally, if you are divorced for an unbiblical reason and married, repent and reflect the gospel in your current marriage. So if you divorce for unbiblical reasons, scripture encourages you to repent genuinely before God, your former spouse. But then Scripture nowhere indicates that you should break another marriage covenant by divorcing again. Instead, scripture encourages you to focus on magnifying Christ in the marriage you have now by the power of the gospel. Again, there are so many different circumstances. I hesitate to even give these general so what's, but let's hear these exhortations that are clear in God's word, and then let's be in relationships with each other in the church, for we help one another apply God's word as we show his love to the world.
Let's pray.
SPEAKER_00We hope you've enjoyed this week's episode of David Platt Messages. For more resources from David Platt, we invite you to visit radical.net.