#Clockedin with Jordan Edwards

Seven Near-Deaths, One Decision To Live Alcohol-Free

• Jordan Edwards • Season 6 • Episode 286

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A late-night drive and a blurred double line turned into Colleen Clifford’s line in the sand. We trace her path from decades of binge drinking and denial to a clear alcohol-free life shaped by community, boundaries and purpose.

• defining the wild card of binge drinking and its risks
• how denial and identity kept the habit alive
• setting a non‑negotiable and choosing alcohol‑free living
• joining community to replace shame with support
• building real connections and raising standards
• mental and physical health gains from sobriety
• service, purpose and finding meaning after loss
• having fun without alcohol and AF options
• practical steps for trying a short reset
• investing in coaching and accountability

“Well, I am in the process of rebranding, so I will have a website called Life Beyond the Binge… you could just email me at calling at life beyond the binge at this point… my goal is to speak on stages”


How to reach Colleen Clifford:

https://purepotential.health/life-beyond-the-binge/

Reach on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/purepotential.health/



To Reach Jordan:

Email: Jordan@Edwards.Consulting

Youtube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9ejFXH1_BjdnxG4J8u93Zw

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jordan.edwards.7503

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordanfedwards/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordanedwards5/



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Complimentary Edwards Consulting Session: https://calendly.com/jordan-edwardsconsulting/30min

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, what's going on, guys? I have a special guest here today. Today's guest is Colleen Clifford. She's a former bit drinker and commercial fisherwoman who survived seven near-death experiences and turned her pain into a mission to help all break free from alcohol. After losing her husband to alcohol-related suicide, she's built her life, become a health and alcohol-free speaker, and now teaches others how to take back control. Colleen, thank you for coming on the hashtag ClockedIn Podcast. You've survived seven near-death experiences and the loss of your husband. What was the moment you realized I can't live like this anymore? And everything shifted for you.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you for having me, by the way. First Jordan, I so appreciate you. Um, yeah, it's it's crazy because uh it was just four and a half years ago. So I'm in my early 60s. Yeah, so I was uh it it's taken a long time. And as you can, as people know, a lot of near-death experiences, but it was the final wake-up call was um I had uh, you know, I didn't think I really had a problem because 95% of the time I could drink like a normal drinker, and it's five percent that that there's a wild card in that that that wild card can flip over. And um you never know when it's gonna happen. So for me on this particular day is my best friend's birthday, Sunday barbecue. I told my now partner, Oh, I'll be home at six. Don't worry, I'm not gonna drink too much. I'll drive myself because he knows me and my friend can sometimes drink too much. And he was a little like, hmm, are you sure you're gonna be home at six? So I say, No, no, I'll drive myself, get to the party, Moscow mules start getting handed to me. Six o'clock comes and goes. It's midnight. I look at my clock, I go, Oh, holy crap, man, I'm not where I'm supposed to be, and I'm still drinking. So I shoot him a text, sorry, or something like that. I'm on my way. My friends all say, Don't drive, stay the night. But I keep my promises, even in a drunken state. You know, I thought it was okay. That's the problem with alcohol. Yeah, you know, I thought it was okay to drive, and so so I get in the car, I start heading home and kind of trying to hurry because it was already by this time one o'clock. And three quarters of the way, I see a double line. So I have to shut one eye because you know, and then I know, oh, I'm really drunk because you only see double when you're really drunk, right? Yeah, I don't think to pull over and just rest, throw my keys out by the tire so I don't get a DUI. I instead I say a prayer. Get me home. I swear to God, I'll never do this again. I get home, thank God, and or whoever, the angels in the sky, and I creep into the house so I don't wake him up, but I'm sure he was waiting, right? He's probably worried about me. I sleep on the couch, wake up the next morning. He looks at me like, do we have a problem here? Like, we just kind of had been together a year, so I'm like, uh, do I have a problem here? I was so ashamed that I drove home drunk. I was so grateful that I didn't kill anyone, I didn't get uh get a DUI, which I highly deserved. And I was like, this has to stop. Like I was 58 at the time. This isn't who I want to become. I gotta, I gotta figure this out. So I I knew the only way I was never going to do that again, because in my past, you know, the the statistics show was to never drink for me. Because I was never guaranteed this binge drinking, that wild card shows up not every day, not every time I drank, but as you know, seven times I should be dead. This was one of them. I really I I count this as a could be dead or could have killed someone and you know been in jail for well, not the fact of being in jail, but the fact that I killed someone and have to live with that, right? Yeah, it was my wake-up call. It's like Colleen, you gotta get your shit together.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. And I see it so often where there's people who grew up around it and they have it often and they see their parents doing it, and they're like, it's okay, it's not a big deal. And it is a big deal. So, so when did your journey with alcohol kind of start? Where did you get introduced? And like, has it been omnipresent throughout that?

SPEAKER_01:

It has. I I didn't start drinking till college days, you know. Well, actually, I went to my first frat party when I was 19 with my friend, the same friend, by the way. Her now husband was in a fraternity, and we went to that party. And um, yeah, so but you know, I was always a binge drinker, and I I never I never knew it was a thing because I didn't consider myself an alcoholic. I didn't drink everything, right? I didn't always drink too much, and even when I did binge drink, which by the way, a binge drinking incidence is four or more drinks for a female, five or more for a male. Oh wow, yeah, and it can be like some people ask me, Well, what if I drink all day, like watching football, then I don't get drunk? And I I answer, that's still a binge drinking incidence because our bodies can't handle that much alcohol. Like our brain has to get it out. It's a poison, you know. It's like food poisoning when we eat a bacteria, our body throws it up and we feel like crap. Well, when we have a hangover, our body's telling us you poisoned me, right? It's not like feeling great the next day we drink too much. It's saying, Man, you really did something to me here. Um, yeah, so I started it when I was 19. I was, you know, it's typical people, a lot of people in social settings are, you know, kind of like shy. And and uh for me, I was I'm very shy, introverted, believe it or not, and uh and drinking helped me talk to people, you know, and that's I relied on it. So mostly drank at parties and stuff.

SPEAKER_00:

It's the association. I mean, it's kind of the identity too, and like how you said, I never saw myself as an alcoholic, or it's that identity of oh, it just helps me talk to people. So we view it in society as like, oh, this is a good thing, like you should do this, not oh, it's a poison, this is very bad for us. We've seen all the bad things that have happened, and there there is that negative connotation that can be kind of scary with it. So, for you, where where did that how did you even make that final change? Because I mean, most people at 58 are like, I'm doing me, I'm enjoying my life, I don't care. What what caused the I know what caused it, but what actually allowed you to have this time stick for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's a great question because like 40 years of drink drinking, you know, it's like you would have thought I would have figured it out sooner. It's denial is what kept me stuck. I mean, it keeps you safe, it kept me safe to deny that I because I didn't think I was an alcoholic, and it only happens sometimes. This wild card. It was that it was that last moment of like, you know, I I drove home drunk. Like, and how many times am I gonna deny that that I got this under control? Because I don't. That freaking wild card's gonna flip over again if I keep drinking, and what am I gonna do next? Like, I can't keep telling myself this isn't gonna happen again because it did, yeah. And it and it was probably, you know, I I hadn't had that kind of thing happen for years, like it's it can happen anytime. You know, it's not like I drank at binge drink a lot, it just can happen to anyone at any time when you're drinking past the normal. I mean, there's really no normal drinking, by the way. But you know, what we call normal drinking of like not getting ridiculous is what we call normal drinking, right?

SPEAKER_00:

When you have two or three and you don't like it, especially in America, you know what I mean? Especially in America, and it's interesting because you start to realize like this is a very uh most people, it was funny for me because you go to college, everyone most people are drinking, and then after college, oh it's fine, it's fine, and then you start to go, like, wait a second, this is becoming too much. Like, there needs to be some clarity here to get this under control, right? Absolutely, yeah. You go. No, no, you no, so I was gonna say for you, I mean, like, what what would like what were the steps you took to kind of uncover that and get to this point of I don't need this in, like, I don't want this in my life. Like, what did you have to do to change?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, well, I had to get help because I wasn't doing it by myself.

SPEAKER_02:

That was the thing.

SPEAKER_01:

I I never in my life, you know, I very independent, I commercially fish, I like, you know, I don't need help. I can figure this out. I mean, there's stuff all over the internet, but you know, it was it was really um and intellectually we can we can read till you know whatever for years and years on what we're supposed to do. But you know, until I joined a community of people like me who were in the same situation as me, who had the same struggles as me, I could connect and go, oh, I'm not the only one out there trying to figure this shit out. And and you and I created bonds and like was able to work through it. And and my you know, I had to have a final like, okay, I really want to stop. Like, I don't my my non-negotiable, I call it, is that I never want to drink and drive again. Yeah, and and that's still my non-negotiable. I never want to drink and drive again. And and it was scary, it's scary to do those things, like you know, but you can always um it it it it was my necessity, and to this day today, I can't believe how much my life's changed in a good way. I mean, my life was always good, right? Now it's like 20 times better, and I'm what made it so much better. I've made so many new friends in this realm that you know, the alcohol-free lifestyle, there's it's a trend, it's a mindset shift, a culture shift happening now, believe it or not. Absolutely. There's a lot of people who are on the same bandwagon of not of not drinking. And so you don't feel like such an outsider. I mean, you know, my connections with people are real. We have real conversations about our struggles. Uh, when we cry tears, they're not drunken tears, where the next day you go, oh shit, why why did I share that with somebody? I mean, we you share what you really want to share authentically, and it's heard by someone that can, you know, accept that and maybe share back. And then just my whole um, I'm writing a book now, Life Beyond the Binge, and I'm just taking my message. It's given me a purpose to share, and I'm hoping to make an impact.

SPEAKER_00:

That's incredible. Because you you start to realize, and I I had a similar thing for me, where it was I was trying to have deep conversations with people, and I struggled with that. Um, because I would have conversations with people at the bars, and then nothing would ever formalize from it. And that's where I started my group coaching because I wanted to lead these deep conversations and have these deep conversations, and that's what it's come to be, where it's it's not saying like you can't do things or you can do things, but everyone shows up in a good place and they're like, I'm ready to go, I'm ready to have these hard conversations because it comes with deeper questions. The better questions we ask, the better people, and you start to realize that with Colleen's story, it's once she changed her environment and changed the people that were around her, it helps drastically in comparison to just I'm just gonna hang around the same people and try to abandon the habit. It's not gonna abandon the people you're around are gonna affect you in a positive way or a negative way, and that's okay, but you just have to be aware of that. So sometimes it requires changing friendships, changing dynamics, and that's okay. Did you have any flock for it?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh no, no, and the the people who are uncomfortable with me not drinking, I mean, I don't judge anyone. Everyone, my partner still drinks, not a lot, but he does, and when he does, I don't give him crap about it. I'm just like, yeah, honey, have a drink, you know? Yeah, but we also say that if you drank too much all the time, I couldn't be in this relationship because I don't want to be around a drunk, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

So he drinks when he wants, and I I I drink my non-alcohol beer, and and life is hunky-dory.

SPEAKER_00:

But you start to raise your standard a little bit.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, yeah, yeah. And and who do I want to be surrounded by? It's it's not that I want to judge others, I just don't want to waste my time.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. So if someone's in that sim situation of like, hey, I want to get past this, I'm I'm dealing with like someone in the audience is saying, like, I'm dealing with this. What do what do you think is some of the action steps they could do or take?

SPEAKER_01:

I would probably invite them to ask what is serving them in their life? Like what what uh what's working for them? And then I rather than saying, you know, should you drink or not, I I I would probably rather ask, like, what can you take away in your life to help you become the better version of you that you want to become? And what can you ask to become the better version of you? And you know, that's an individual choice for everyone. You know, some people, and if that's alcohol or smoking pot or playing too many video games, you know, it's all about life and the the way we live it with the time we have, because you know, we're all gonna die. And how how do we wanna, you know, and I and I say that just my I've recently had a death in the family, and it just hits home my mother. It hits home how precious life is and how are we gonna spend it? And so I would just ask those questions.

SPEAKER_00:

Ask those deeper questions of how do you how do you even want to spend your life? Do you want to spend it in this place of constantly playing catch up, or do you want to play in this place of like I'm being so proactive that I am moving way quicker than I ever thought I would be? And it's not always about productivity and making more money and any of that, but it's just about you have better relationships, better family, better people around you. Um, you're able to do more things in the mornings. Like I see it all the time where people are just gone for till 1, 2, 3 p.m. the next day, and they're it's just a lost cause. It's can be very challenging for a lot of us.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah, you know, and and not to be morbid, but you know, watching her pass, you just realize that all our productivity, all the knowledge my mother had, none of it's going with her. It's right, it's who she became as a person and how she made people feel. And that's what I want to take with me. Like, how am I impacting everyone I meet in the day at the grocery store? Am I kind? Um, because you know, all of this doesn't go with me. It's what's in here, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. And I I would like so with mental with uh with Edwards Consulting, we have five pillars mental health, physical health, community service, philanthropy, spirituality, and relationships. And I would say that touches a lot on spirituality because with spirituality, it's it's that interconnectedness, it's that we're all together, it's that we're all doing these things together. And I I do think it does make a big impact for a lot of us because there's so many of us that are missing a lot of that. You know what I mean? Absolutely, you're missing so many aspects of life. Um, so if you're open to it, is it okay if I ask you about these different pillars?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I'd love to. I love good conversation.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. So with Edwards Consulting, yeah, we have the five pillars, which are mental health, physical health, community service, philanthropy, spirituality, and relationships. So with mental health, on like a one to ten, where do you think you're at today? How do you how are you feeling today?

SPEAKER_01:

I would say a ten.

SPEAKER_00:

Really?

SPEAKER_01:

Even with my mom's passing.

SPEAKER_00:

Why do why do you think that?

SPEAKER_01:

I feel like this may sound corny to some people, but like if I die today, I feel like I've worked through all my crap. I've you know, it's all it's all um anything beyond here is gonna be adding to my bucket.

SPEAKER_00:

I like that. So you've achieved your whole bucket and now it's all everything's a bonus.

SPEAKER_01:

Now I'm creating a new bucket.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a very healthy way to see the world. And the only reason I ask a little bit deeper on some of these is because you start to realize like what has to what has to happen and what people are doing to get closer to their goals. You know what I mean? And if someone's sitting there going, like, what's helping me with mental health, or I'm down in mental health, maybe think about how do you fill your own bucket to the point where you get where you have a full bucket and then you could start giving to others. I love that.

SPEAKER_01:

And don't forget, you know, I'm in my 60s, so I've had a lot of time to work through this. Your audience is probably quite a bit younger, so it might sound like, well, who's this lady? But you know, I with age, things do happen, I think. I hope for everyone of evolving, and you know, I've had more time than maybe a lot of your listeners.

SPEAKER_00:

So absolutely, and then what about what about physical health? I'll make a one-to-the time. How do you feel about that?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I'd say I'm probably about an eight and a half because with aging, there are things like I feel my knee not, you know, when I try, I can't jog anymore, unfortunately, but I do walk and I'm pretty, you know, I'm very active for my age, and I still commercially fish. So I have to be able to lift the lift the oranges. I I could so you know, lift things up on shelves, and and yeah, I being active is very important to me.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. And it's a really important thing in life because without physical health, we we have one body, that's all we got. Exactly. You might as well. I I saw something the other day where they talked about if you could have one car for the rest of your life and you never got another car, how would you treat it? And then they go on this whole thing where it's like, how would the person treat it? and they start talking about it. And at the very end, the guy goes, Yeah, that one car is your body. Like you would treat it nicer, you would keep it clean, you would keep it pristine. That's your body. Like, so that's a thing that you want to work on and should be a very important thing because that's that's really all we got. And then what about community service and philanthropy?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I uh that's a good question. I didn't start volunteering in life until about five years ago.

SPEAKER_00:

Really? What caused that?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I used to have horses with my late husband, and um so it's really kind of a selfish thing because down the street there's a hypotherapy uh facility where yeah, where they use horses um to facilitate uh progress for kids with development. Yeah, yeah, and they have a barn with eight horses, so I get to go down there and shovel horseshit and move horses around and you know, feel like it's my barn on Sundays when no one's around and just talk to them and I get my horsey fix. But also, it's really fun to watch the kids. I also lead the horses during Saturday. And and all this kind of stuff. So it's fun to see the kids and the therapists working together. And I didn't realize, you know, I yeah, I'm gonna do more volunteer work as time allows, but it's really fun to give to give unselfishly.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

You get things back, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Of course. Always. And I how did you even find that? Because the only reason I ask is because with a lot of us and a lot of the people listening, they're like community service is like not really big. And like, how did you find something that you were actually passionate about and find some way to actually get back?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, for me, it was like, what am I passionate about? And I love horses, or it would have been the food bank. I actually started that a little bit because I cook and I'm all about food, but um, but uh I just googled horse facilities near me, and these you know, riding stables showed up, and and that hippotherapy place showed up, which is like down the hill from us. I was like, cool, they need volunteers. And um, and the cool thing is I can volunteer any day I want, anytime. It's not a strict schedule because that wouldn't work for me. So yeah, I just think if if your listeners out there are interested, find what what's what is passionate for them and and just Google it near you. Things will pop up. There's all kinds of things.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely, absolutely. It it forces me because a lot of the time I I've uh I travel a good amount. So when I travel, it's kind of hard to find the new things, but you start to realize like there are hidden gems right in your neighborhood, and you just at most people have no clue, they have no clue that it's right under their fingertips, and it could make their life so much better. So I love that you shared that. What about relationships on a one to ten? How do you feel about relationships? It could be family, friends, whatever you want it to be.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I would say uh a 10 again. I mean, I feel pretty good with life right now. Yeah, I mean, a relationship with my partner who I don't have children, he's got children. I have grandkids, and they've all he's a his wife passed away, my husband did. So it's like um we have that weirdly in common, so we can speak about our dead spouses without weirdness, judgment, yeah. Um, yeah, and my my family of origin were super tight with my mom passing. We're all went through that together, and the grandkids and all my nieces and nephews, and yeah, I'm I'm very blessed. We have a but you know, I work, you have to work at it too. It's not how do you work at it? Well, I stay connected, you know. When I commercially fish, I'm out fishing. Um, I come home, I I reach out. I'm the one in the family that will reach out and say, Hey, let's get together, or hey, can I babysit your kids?

SPEAKER_00:

So you're proactive on it.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm very proactive because it won't happen if you don't get challenged.

SPEAKER_00:

Of course, people are not thinking about others. And then if you're proactive, you get to have the better relationships you want because no one's really thinking about you. And that's the honest truth. Like, if you don't make it happen, and there's so many people that sit there. Oh, if they don't reach out to me, then we're not gonna be friends. No, you have to be the initiator, otherwise, you won't have the response.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I've thought the same thing, and I I've let that lie because if people do love you, me, whoever your listeners are, it's just they don't think about it. And like just this morning, I reached out to my niece. I know she has December off, and she's got two little ones, two and four. And I said, Hey, can I babysit them so you can go shopping or something? And let's get together. So you know, you just have to be you have to be proactive.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that. And then spirituality, how we're on a zero to ten on spirituality. It could be whatever you want, and this is how some people are like all about religion. Some people are like, hey, it's me saying hi to the person on the run that I'm on, like it's all whatever people want to say.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you know, I feel we're all going to the same place, and I'm not real big on organized religions. I was raised a Catholic. My mom's funeral will be at the church, and and I I just um yeah, I'm just about love and be kind. And at the end of the day, who knows where we're going, but um, but definitely being uh a nice and kind and loving and generous person is probably your better chances than being a little shit in life, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely, absolutely. I appreciate you doing those because it uh it always gives people value and insights and direction. If there's one thing that hits someone, it it's a win. Um, so so one of the final things that you talk about is fun without alcohol. Because most people go, You don't drink, what do I do? How do I have fun? Is it possible to have fun without alcohol? Or is that is that a lie that we've also been hearing?

SPEAKER_01:

No, it is yes. Oh, okay. Let me back back up. I was so afraid when I said I had to quit for that reason. Like, how am I gonna have fun? Everyone I know drinks, like is my life is my life over, right? But um it's just so shocking how much fun I can have without drinking because it's authentic fun. And you know, if you think when you're a little kid, you're not drinking when you're out in the woods with your buddies building a fort or you know, riding your bike around the neighborhood, if you did that as a kid. Um, so at some point in life, our adult society says we need to have alcohol to have fun. And it's really, for me, I feel like it's a lie. I just went on an alcohol-free trip with a bunch of people to Germany, and we toured the uh wineries there that are producing alcohol-free wine. Yes, and it was a big aha that there's a huge movement in the alcohol-free uh alcohol industry for alcohol-free versions of good quality products because the market's changing. People want alcohol-free options. In fact, it's increasing more than the alcohol options. So, you know, those industries are getting on board with producing it. And um, yeah, you don't wake up with a hangover. You, you know, are always you get to watch other people get drunk at parties and go, oh, I'm glad that's not me. You're always the designated driver. Um, yeah, it's just uh at this point in my life, I've I feel like I was duped. I duped myself. I wasted a lot of time drinking.

SPEAKER_00:

I I and what what do you say for those who are like, I'm thinking about making the shift, I'm not really sure. Like what what what should they be doing?

SPEAKER_01:

You could give it a try. Like you don't have to commit to saying I'm never gonna drink again ever. Like that's a scary statement, right? Uh now for me it's not because I know I don't ever want to drink. But when you're in that, that oh, can I do this? Do I want to? I'm afraid, just say, okay, I'm gonna stop for a week, or I'm gonna, you know, see how my body feels after two weeks. Because quite honestly, it takes a week for alcohol to get out of our bodies. Yeah, so your body's not gonna adjust to not drinking for a couple weeks, so you're not really gonna feel the effects of not having alcohol in your system until you give it some time, and then you're gonna see, oh, maybe I'm gonna start sleeping better or feeling better, not you know, and so I would say that there's all kinds of groups you can join to help keep you accountable. There's coaching, like yourself, there's all kinds of coaching. And the the thing is that I would highly recommend I didn't want to spend any money on this, I was being so cheap with myself, and now I look at it like, why was why wouldn't I invest in me?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I was trying all the free stuff and none of it was working. It wasn't until I paid someone that I really got serious.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So that's just a thought, you know. Um, how serious are you? And are you willing to invest in yourself? And quite honestly, like that money I spent was the best investment of my life for me, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. And people don't realize it because we sit there and we go, oh, but at the$20 at the at the food store adds up. The$100 bar tabs add up. Like if you could pay to remove that from your life, like the massive value is insurmountable. Like, people don't realize what what a good change it can do. So Colleen, where where can people learn more about you? Learn more about what you're doing because you are having a lot of impactful work. And I know Life Beyond the Binge is coming out next year, but what's where can people learn about you?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I um am in the process of rebranding, so I will have a website called Life Beyond the Binge, and that correlates with my book that's coming out. So you could just email me at calling at life beyond the binge at this point. Um soon the website will be up and running. Uh my goal is to speak on stages. So if anyone out there has a school where, you know, at on my website, I'll have my speaking um engagements that I've done so people can see kind of what my messaging is. It's about binge drinking and then craving. So I'll have like some signature speeches. So at this point, it's kind of uh basic. So, and you know, maybe emailing me might be a little too intimate for some people, but um just remember life beyond the binge if you could, and uh more is coming.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely, absolutely. I appreciate that. Thank you. This is awesome.

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Jordan Edwards

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