{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":57.48,"endTime":61.17,"body":"Hey there, welcome to this"},{"startTime":57.48,"endTime":61.17,"body":"week's episode where I will be"},{"startTime":61.17,"endTime":65.97,"body":"talking about why and how grief"},{"startTime":61.17,"endTime":65.97,"body":"keeps us stuck. If you didn't"},{"startTime":65.97,"endTime":71.19,"body":"catch last week's episode, I"},{"startTime":65.97,"endTime":71.19,"body":"discussed really define grief in"},{"startTime":71.19,"endTime":74.76,"body":"probably a definition that"},{"startTime":71.19,"endTime":74.76,"body":"you've likely never heard. So if"},{"startTime":74.76,"endTime":79.56,"body":"you miss that episode, go back"},{"startTime":74.76,"endTime":79.56,"body":"to that. And this is the second"},{"startTime":79.59,"endTime":84.39,"body":"episode of a, what I think what"},{"startTime":79.59,"endTime":84.39,"body":"will be a 10 part series we will"},{"startTime":84.39,"endTime":89.34,"body":"see. I there's so much I would"},{"startTime":84.39,"endTime":89.34,"body":"love to share. So, it may be"},{"startTime":89.34,"endTime":94.47,"body":"more than that, but I'm planning"},{"startTime":89.34,"endTime":94.47,"body":"10 episodes of education around"},{"startTime":94.47,"endTime":94.92,"body":"grief."},{"startTime":95.62,"endTime":99.88,"body":"So let's get started talking"},{"startTime":95.62,"endTime":99.88,"body":"about how and why grief gets us"},{"startTime":99.91,"endTime":103.96,"body":"stuck, or keeps us stuck rather."},{"startTime":99.91,"endTime":103.96,"body":"In our brain is our intellect"},{"startTime":103.96,"endTime":111.55,"body":"like our mind is our intellect."},{"startTime":103.96,"endTime":111.55,"body":"And if we think about like I"},{"startTime":111.55,"endTime":116.35,"body":"often think about like my own"},{"startTime":111.55,"endTime":116.35,"body":"intuition is like just not"},{"startTime":116.35,"endTime":122.32,"body":"necessarily in my brain. Not in"},{"startTime":116.35,"endTime":122.32,"body":"my mind, but kind of like, this"},{"startTime":122.35,"endTime":128.23,"body":"intangible force that's kind of"},{"startTime":122.35,"endTime":128.23,"body":"out there in a way like it's,"},{"startTime":128.26,"endTime":134.53,"body":"it's like it's the deepest"},{"startTime":128.26,"endTime":134.53,"body":"connection to my spirit that I"},{"startTime":134.53,"endTime":140.5,"body":"feel - is when I feel like I am"},{"startTime":134.53,"endTime":140.5,"body":"fully tapped in to my intuition."},{"startTime":140.56,"endTime":142.93,"body":"Now you might be thinking, what"},{"startTime":140.56,"endTime":142.93,"body":"in the world does this have to"},{"startTime":142.93,"endTime":149.05,"body":"do with grief? And I'll get to"},{"startTime":142.93,"endTime":149.05,"body":"that, but more than you may"},{"startTime":149.05,"endTime":152.26,"body":"think. So, we have our"},{"startTime":149.05,"endTime":152.26,"body":"intellect, we have our"},{"startTime":152.26,"endTime":157.63,"body":"intuition. And then we have"},{"startTime":152.26,"endTime":157.63,"body":"within our whole our hearts, our"},{"startTime":158.02,"endTime":165.19,"body":"grief energy, right, within our"},{"startTime":158.02,"endTime":165.19,"body":"bodies is this emotional energy"},{"startTime":165.22,"endTime":169.45,"body":"that we tend to store. Because"},{"startTime":165.22,"endTime":169.45,"body":"as you'll learn as I as this"},{"startTime":169.45,"endTime":174.31,"body":"series goes on, we either"},{"startTime":169.45,"endTime":174.31,"body":"implode or we explode as a"},{"startTime":174.31,"endTime":176.59,"body":"result of our emotional energy."},{"startTime":176.66,"endTime":182.99,"body":"For today's episode, I'm talking"},{"startTime":176.66,"endTime":182.99,"body":"about how grief actually cuts us"},{"startTime":183.02,"endTime":190.94,"body":"off from our ability to tap into"},{"startTime":183.02,"endTime":190.94,"body":"our own spirit and our own"},{"startTime":190.97,"endTime":197.69,"body":"intuition to this force that"},{"startTime":190.97,"endTime":197.69,"body":"opens us up to our, our"},{"startTime":197.69,"endTime":204.17,"body":"potential. Really, by the time"},{"startTime":197.69,"endTime":204.17,"body":"we are 15 years old, we have"},{"startTime":204.17,"endTime":209.93,"body":"received more than 20,000"},{"startTime":204.17,"endTime":209.93,"body":"messages of how to deal with"},{"startTime":209.93,"endTime":215.27,"body":"grief. And you know, the reason"},{"startTime":209.93,"endTime":215.27,"body":"why I'm so passionate about this"},{"startTime":215.27,"endTime":218.99,"body":"work is and why I'm so"},{"startTime":215.27,"endTime":218.99,"body":"passionate about education"},{"startTime":218.99,"endTime":224.72,"body":"around grief is that it touches"},{"startTime":218.99,"endTime":224.72,"body":"us all, first of all, and it"},{"startTime":224.72,"endTime":230.03,"body":"starts in childhood; caregivers,"},{"startTime":224.72,"endTime":230.03,"body":"parents - it starts with us at"},{"startTime":230.03,"endTime":238.85,"body":"home, to send the messages that"},{"startTime":230.03,"endTime":238.85,"body":"are positive and supportive and"},{"startTime":240.71,"endTime":245.75,"body":"to be open to allowing children"},{"startTime":240.71,"endTime":245.75,"body":"to fully express themselves."},{"startTime":246.5,"endTime":251.93,"body":"And, not labeling those emotions"},{"startTime":246.5,"endTime":251.93,"body":"or whatever as bad or negative"},{"startTime":251.96,"endTime":258.86,"body":"or what have you. Because all"},{"startTime":251.96,"endTime":258.86,"body":"feelings are valid. All feelings"},{"startTime":258.86,"endTime":265.58,"body":"are valid. So, if we consider"},{"startTime":258.86,"endTime":265.58,"body":"that, we experience loss, on"},{"startTime":265.58,"endTime":272.3,"body":"average statistically, every"},{"startTime":265.58,"endTime":272.3,"body":"nine to 13 years; we are bound"},{"startTime":272.87,"endTime":280.73,"body":"for grief like, we are born into"},{"startTime":272.87,"endTime":280.73,"body":"this world as impending"},{"startTime":280.73,"endTime":286.49,"body":"grievers. Right? We - there's"},{"startTime":280.73,"endTime":286.49,"body":"going to be grief. And because"},{"startTime":286.52,"endTime":290.09,"body":"all relationships are unique,"},{"startTime":286.52,"endTime":290.09,"body":"our feelings around the"},{"startTime":290.09,"endTime":294.44,"body":"relationships are unique. You"},{"startTime":290.09,"endTime":294.44,"body":"know, it's our recovery is also"},{"startTime":294.44,"endTime":295.19,"body":"unique."},{"startTime":295.42,"endTime":301.27,"body":"Getting back to like the"},{"startTime":295.42,"endTime":301.27,"body":"intellect aspect, and how we try"},{"startTime":301.27,"endTime":307.57,"body":"to, first of all, you cannot"},{"startTime":301.27,"endTime":307.57,"body":"heal the heart with the brain."},{"startTime":308.53,"endTime":313.09,"body":"Because if we think about our"},{"startTime":308.53,"endTime":313.09,"body":"minds and our intellect, we are"},{"startTime":313.09,"endTime":317.11,"body":"always right. Like, we always"},{"startTime":313.09,"endTime":317.11,"body":"feel like we are always right."},{"startTime":317.53,"endTime":321.31,"body":"Because we have this belief"},{"startTime":317.53,"endTime":321.31,"body":"system that has been ingrained"},{"startTime":322.48,"endTime":327.67,"body":"in us, by the time we are 15. By"},{"startTime":322.48,"endTime":327.67,"body":"the age of two to three, we've"},{"startTime":327.67,"endTime":335.62,"body":"received 75% of the messages and"},{"startTime":327.67,"endTime":335.62,"body":"information about grief. And by"},{"startTime":335.62,"endTime":342.19,"body":"15, we've received the remaining"},{"startTime":335.62,"endTime":342.19,"body":"20. And so we got 95% logic,"},{"startTime":342.19,"endTime":346.63,"body":"right this, this internal logic"},{"startTime":342.19,"endTime":346.63,"body":"and belief system, and then"},{"startTime":346.63,"endTime":351.1,"body":"there's this like 5% that is our"},{"startTime":346.63,"endTime":351.1,"body":"intuition and our spirit force,"},{"startTime":351.1,"endTime":356.74,"body":"like the guidance system that is"},{"startTime":351.1,"endTime":356.74,"body":"within us, but when we resort to"},{"startTime":356.74,"endTime":360.52,"body":"our intellect and logic, it's"},{"startTime":356.74,"endTime":360.52,"body":"this automatic critical"},{"startTime":360.52,"endTime":364.81,"body":"response. And we're always going"},{"startTime":360.52,"endTime":364.81,"body":"to feel that we are always"},{"startTime":364.81,"endTime":370.33,"body":"right. And so when it comes to"},{"startTime":364.81,"endTime":370.33,"body":"grief, we will intellectually"},{"startTime":371.17,"endTime":378.55,"body":"look in the past and 10% maybe"},{"startTime":371.17,"endTime":378.55,"body":"fun memories 90% maybe regret."},{"startTime":378.79,"endTime":382.45,"body":"And if we're not in the present"},{"startTime":378.79,"endTime":382.45,"body":"moment, we might be in the"},{"startTime":382.45,"endTime":387.31,"body":"future, right? 10% we might be"},{"startTime":382.45,"endTime":387.31,"body":"planning 90% we might be"},{"startTime":387.31,"endTime":388.0,"body":"worrying."},{"startTime":388.0,"endTime":392.62,"body":"Unhappiness comes from an"},{"startTime":388.0,"endTime":392.62,"body":"attempt to be in any moment,"},{"startTime":393.25,"endTime":397.57,"body":"other than the present moment."},{"startTime":393.25,"endTime":397.57,"body":"That is what emotional jail is."},{"startTime":398.32,"endTime":402.31,"body":"If we are unable to live in the"},{"startTime":398.32,"endTime":402.31,"body":"present moment, and that's what"},{"startTime":402.31,"endTime":406.27,"body":"grief kind of steals from us. It"},{"startTime":402.31,"endTime":406.27,"body":"just it either keeps us in the"},{"startTime":406.27,"endTime":411.88,"body":"past, ruminating and stewing on"},{"startTime":406.27,"endTime":411.88,"body":"the stories, mostly with regret,"},{"startTime":412.78,"endTime":418.18,"body":"and other other feelings that"},{"startTime":412.78,"endTime":418.18,"body":"get wrapped in with grief or"},{"startTime":418.18,"endTime":423.85,"body":"we're looking to the future."},{"startTime":418.18,"endTime":423.85,"body":"With worry of what's to come of,"},{"startTime":424.06,"endTime":429.67,"body":"what if this? What if that we"},{"startTime":424.06,"endTime":429.67,"body":"receive more education about"},{"startTime":429.67,"endTime":434.32,"body":"simple first aid than we do"},{"startTime":429.67,"endTime":434.32,"body":"about death, divorce and any"},{"startTime":434.38,"endTime":435.88,"body":"other emotional loss?"},{"startTime":436.18,"endTime":442.0,"body":"There over 8 million Grievers"},{"startTime":436.18,"endTime":442.0,"body":"every year, and 14 million pets"},{"startTime":442.0,"endTime":446.38,"body":"die every year. And we have been"},{"startTime":442.0,"endTime":446.38,"body":"taught how to acquire things,"},{"startTime":447.31,"endTime":452.53,"body":"but not what to do when we lose"},{"startTime":447.31,"endTime":452.53,"body":"them. My point overarching"},{"startTime":452.56,"endTime":457.09,"body":"message in this podcast episode"},{"startTime":452.56,"endTime":457.09,"body":"is that grief is about a broken"},{"startTime":457.09,"endTime":463.12,"body":"heart, not a broken brain. So we"},{"startTime":457.09,"endTime":463.12,"body":"cannot heal the heart with the"},{"startTime":463.12,"endTime":466.81,"body":"head. Because it's the wrong"},{"startTime":463.12,"endTime":466.81,"body":"tool for the job. It's like"},{"startTime":466.81,"endTime":470.77,"body":"trying to paint with a hammer."},{"startTime":466.81,"endTime":470.77,"body":"It just it makes a mess. We need"},{"startTime":470.77,"endTime":475.33,"body":"to stop these intellectual"},{"startTime":470.77,"endTime":475.33,"body":"connections from overpowering"},{"startTime":475.9,"endTime":480.4,"body":"our emotional truth. Right? It"},{"startTime":475.9,"endTime":480.4,"body":"comes back to that - to the, to"},{"startTime":480.4,"endTime":483.94,"body":"our brain box, to our, our"},{"startTime":480.4,"endTime":483.94,"body":"minds, our belief system, our"},{"startTime":483.94,"endTime":489.49,"body":"logic. And so when we translate"},{"startTime":483.94,"endTime":489.49,"body":"this to - why is this keeping me"},{"startTime":489.49,"endTime":495.4,"body":"stuck? When you're focusing on"},{"startTime":489.49,"endTime":495.4,"body":"the intellectual and you try and"},{"startTime":495.4,"endTime":500.77,"body":"talk to others, you try to"},{"startTime":495.4,"endTime":500.77,"body":"communicate about your grief to"},{"startTime":500.77,"endTime":506.32,"body":"others; you're communicating to"},{"startTime":500.77,"endTime":506.32,"body":"another griever. They have their"},{"startTime":506.32,"endTime":510.25,"body":"own belief system. They have"},{"startTime":506.32,"endTime":510.25,"body":"their own automatic critical"},{"startTime":510.25,"endTime":515.8,"body":"response. They have been cut off"},{"startTime":510.25,"endTime":515.8,"body":"themselves from their own"},{"startTime":515.8,"endTime":519.85,"body":"intuition because of their"},{"startTime":515.8,"endTime":519.85,"body":"grief. They have received their"},{"startTime":519.85,"endTime":525.19,"body":"own messages by the age of 15."},{"startTime":519.85,"endTime":525.19,"body":"They're stuck in their own past"},{"startTime":525.19,"endTime":531.76,"body":"of regret or fond memories, and"},{"startTime":525.19,"endTime":531.76,"body":"worry of the future and likely"},{"startTime":531.76,"endTime":534.73,"body":"are not living in the present"},{"startTime":531.76,"endTime":534.73,"body":"moment either. And so we have"},{"startTime":534.73,"endTime":540.88,"body":"these expectations of how"},{"startTime":534.73,"endTime":540.88,"body":"another will respond to us. But"},{"startTime":541.24,"endTime":544.72,"body":"expectations are planned"},{"startTime":541.24,"endTime":544.72,"body":"disappointments."},{"startTime":544.81,"endTime":550.66,"body":"What we get back as feedback"},{"startTime":544.81,"endTime":550.66,"body":"instead are these intellectual"},{"startTime":550.69,"endTime":558.34,"body":"responses that aren't helpful"},{"startTime":550.69,"endTime":558.34,"body":"and unintentionally, are hurtful"},{"startTime":558.37,"endTime":562.3,"body":"because they don't understand"},{"startTime":558.37,"endTime":562.3,"body":"what to say. They're afraid of"},{"startTime":562.3,"endTime":565.66,"body":"our feelings. They try to change"},{"startTime":562.3,"endTime":565.66,"body":"the subject. They"},{"startTime":565.66,"endTime":570.1,"body":"intellectualize. They don't hear"},{"startTime":565.66,"endTime":570.1,"body":"us. They don't want to talk"},{"startTime":570.1,"endTime":575.47,"body":"about death; also professional"},{"startTime":570.1,"endTime":575.47,"body":"distortions, you know, where"},{"startTime":575.71,"endTime":580.21,"body":"medically you go in - you're"},{"startTime":575.71,"endTime":580.21,"body":"having some issues, feeling"},{"startTime":580.21,"endTime":584.5,"body":"depressed. They want to give you"},{"startTime":580.21,"endTime":584.5,"body":"a pill. I can speak to that, you"},{"startTime":584.5,"endTime":588.19,"body":"know, when I had postpartum -"},{"startTime":584.5,"endTime":588.19,"body":"let's, let's give you a pill."},{"startTime":588.34,"endTime":589.3,"body":"It's grief."},{"startTime":589.33,"endTime":592.18,"body":"And then there are those two"},{"startTime":589.33,"endTime":592.18,"body":"that just want us to keep our"},{"startTime":592.18,"endTime":594.97,"body":"faith right? But faith and"},{"startTime":592.18,"endTime":594.97,"body":"feelings are two different"},{"startTime":594.97,"endTime":599.98,"body":"things. Grievers need to be"},{"startTime":594.97,"endTime":599.98,"body":"heard. They don't need to be"},{"startTime":599.98,"endTime":604.3,"body":"fixed. But because of all the"},{"startTime":599.98,"endTime":604.3,"body":"messages that we receive in our"},{"startTime":604.3,"endTime":607.84,"body":"childhood. Because of the"},{"startTime":604.3,"endTime":607.84,"body":"education we receive about"},{"startTime":607.87,"endTime":614.02,"body":"everything else other than"},{"startTime":607.87,"endTime":614.02,"body":"grief. Because we have our own"},{"startTime":614.02,"endTime":618.55,"body":"intellect, in our own grieving"},{"startTime":614.02,"endTime":618.55,"body":"experiences that we haven't"},{"startTime":618.55,"endTime":622.51,"body":"dealt with many of us, is it any"},{"startTime":618.55,"endTime":622.51,"body":"surprise then that we approach"},{"startTime":622.54,"endTime":629.26,"body":"others in their grief, with"},{"startTime":622.54,"endTime":629.26,"body":"logic and with our own lens of"},{"startTime":629.26,"endTime":635.56,"body":"what we see in their grief? You"},{"startTime":629.26,"endTime":635.56,"body":"know, we try to relate but that,"},{"startTime":636.19,"endTime":641.77,"body":"trying to relate, only likely"},{"startTime":636.19,"endTime":641.77,"body":"creates more pain for the"},{"startTime":641.77,"endTime":642.34,"body":"person."},{"startTime":642.63,"endTime":648.66,"body":"We cannot hold space and be"},{"startTime":642.63,"endTime":648.66,"body":"there for somebody grieving if"},{"startTime":648.66,"endTime":652.23,"body":"we have not allowed ourselves to"},{"startTime":648.66,"endTime":652.23,"body":"grieve either. The capacity at"},{"startTime":652.23,"endTime":659.34,"body":"which we are able to hold space"},{"startTime":652.23,"endTime":659.34,"body":"and be a heart with yours is a"},{"startTime":659.34,"endTime":665.46,"body":"direct reflection of our own"},{"startTime":659.34,"endTime":665.46,"body":"inner work that we have done for"},{"startTime":665.52,"endTime":672.39,"body":"our grief experiences. In my"},{"startTime":665.52,"endTime":672.39,"body":"experience with grief, 30 plus"},{"startTime":672.39,"endTime":679.59,"body":"years, I only in the last year,"},{"startTime":672.39,"endTime":679.59,"body":"have felt this inner knowing"},{"startTime":679.68,"endTime":684.78,"body":"that I am on the path that I'm,"},{"startTime":679.68,"endTime":684.78,"body":"I'm supposed to be on. I feel"},{"startTime":684.78,"endTime":689.79,"body":"like the next steps are"},{"startTime":684.78,"endTime":689.79,"body":"literally shown to me, as I've"},{"startTime":689.79,"endTime":695.16,"body":"been working through my grief"},{"startTime":689.79,"endTime":695.16,"body":"and the various relationships"},{"startTime":695.16,"endTime":698.76,"body":"that have felt incomplete for me"},{"startTime":695.16,"endTime":698.76,"body":"or have been emotionally"},{"startTime":698.76,"endTime":705.66,"body":"incomplete. For me, it's allowed"},{"startTime":698.76,"endTime":705.66,"body":"me to fully tap into my spirit,"},{"startTime":705.93,"endTime":711.27,"body":"my intuition, my force, if you"},{"startTime":705.93,"endTime":711.27,"body":"will. That's, I think, when you"},{"startTime":711.27,"endTime":713.82,"body":"really know you're starting to"},{"startTime":711.27,"endTime":713.82,"body":"heal. But, it's just the"},{"startTime":713.82,"endTime":717.78,"body":"beginning, right? Because this"},{"startTime":713.82,"endTime":717.78,"body":"work doesn't end because we"},{"startTime":718.29,"endTime":721.59,"body":"always will have loss in our"},{"startTime":718.29,"endTime":721.59,"body":"lives."},{"startTime":721.77,"endTime":727.47,"body":"I hope this episode shed some"},{"startTime":721.77,"endTime":727.47,"body":"light on why you may be stuck in"},{"startTime":727.47,"endTime":732.66,"body":"your grief. Hopefully you"},{"startTime":727.47,"endTime":732.66,"body":"gleaned some nuggets that will"},{"startTime":732.66,"endTime":737.82,"body":"get you thinking. Because having"},{"startTime":732.66,"endTime":737.82,"body":"an awareness around our"},{"startTime":737.82,"endTime":742.53,"body":"emotional truth is when we"},{"startTime":737.82,"endTime":742.53,"body":"realize that something needs to"},{"startTime":742.53,"endTime":747.54,"body":"change. So I thank you for"},{"startTime":742.53,"endTime":747.54,"body":"listening today. Next week, I"},{"startTime":747.54,"endTime":751.59,"body":"will start to dive into the"},{"startTime":747.54,"endTime":751.59,"body":"myths of grief. There are six of"},{"startTime":751.59,"endTime":755.7,"body":"them. I have not decided yet if"},{"startTime":751.59,"endTime":755.7,"body":"each one will get its own"},{"startTime":755.7,"endTime":761.85,"body":"episode I yeah, not sure yet. So"},{"startTime":755.7,"endTime":761.85,"body":"we'll see. But I hope you tune"},{"startTime":761.85,"endTime":766.26,"body":"in for that. Until next time,"},{"startTime":761.85,"endTime":766.26,"body":"take care from my heart to"},{"startTime":766.26,"endTime":767.97,"body":"yours. Thank you for listening."},{"startTime":768.48,"endTime":771.63,"body":"If you liked this episode,"},{"startTime":768.48,"endTime":771.63,"body":"please share it because sharing"},{"startTime":771.66,"endTime":776.43,"body":"is caring. And until next time,"},{"startTime":771.66,"endTime":776.43,"body":"give and share compassion by"},{"startTime":776.43,"endTime":780.18,"body":"being hurt with yours and if"},{"startTime":776.43,"endTime":780.18,"body":"you're hurting know that What"},{"startTime":780.18,"endTime":784.68,"body":"you're feeling is normal and"},{"startTime":780.18,"endTime":784.68,"body":"natural. Much love, my friend."}]}