{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":8.22,"endTime":11.76,"body":"This is Victoria"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":8.22,"endTime":11.76,"body":"of theunleashedheart.com and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":11.76,"endTime":15.3,"body":"you're listening to grieving"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":11.76,"endTime":15.3,"body":"voices, a podcast for hurting"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":15.3,"endTime":19.08,"body":"hearts who desire to be heard."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":15.3,"endTime":19.08,"body":"Or anyone who wants to learn how"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":19.08,"endTime":23.19,"body":"to better support loved ones"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":19.08,"endTime":23.19,"body":"experiencing loss. As a 30 plus"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":23.19,"endTime":26.7,"body":"year griever and advanced grief"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":23.19,"endTime":26.7,"body":"recovery methods specialist, I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":26.7,"endTime":30.06,"body":"know how badly the conversation"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":26.7,"endTime":30.06,"body":"around grief needs to change."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":30.69,"endTime":34.44,"body":"Through this podcast, I aim to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":30.69,"endTime":34.44,"body":"educate gravers and non Grievers"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":34.44,"endTime":38.88,"body":"alike, spread hope and inspire"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":34.44,"endTime":38.88,"body":"compassion toward those hurting."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":39.39,"endTime":43.17,"body":"Lastly, by providing my heart"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":39.39,"endTime":43.17,"body":"with yours and this platform,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":43.53,"endTime":47.16,"body":"Grievers had the opportunity to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":43.53,"endTime":47.16,"body":"share their wisdom and stories"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":47.31,"endTime":51.63,"body":"of loss and resiliency. How"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":47.31,"endTime":51.63,"body":"about we talk about grief, like"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":51.63,"endTime":54.15,"body":"we talked about the weather?"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":51.63,"endTime":54.15,"body":"Let's get started."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":62.1,"endTime":68.55,"body":"I'm Victoria your host and today"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":62.1,"endTime":68.55,"body":"this is Episode 27. My takeaways"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":68.55,"endTime":73.32,"body":"and reflections from episodes 25"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":68.55,"endTime":73.32,"body":"with Katie Janaki. Yes. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":73.32,"endTime":79.8,"body":"Episode 26 with Victoria Shaw,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":73.32,"endTime":79.8,"body":"Katie shared her story of being"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":79.8,"endTime":84.33,"body":"raped as a teen by one of her"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":79.8,"endTime":84.33,"body":"peers as well as another adult"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":84.33,"endTime":88.53,"body":"experience that she had. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":84.33,"endTime":88.53,"body":"Victoria is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":89.76,"endTime":95.04,"body":"a licensed therapist who well"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":89.76,"endTime":95.04,"body":"she calls herself the intuitive"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":95.04,"endTime":101.58,"body":"counselor. And I, I loved both"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":95.04,"endTime":101.58,"body":"of these episodes very much in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":101.58,"endTime":105.99,"body":"connecting with these women. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":101.58,"endTime":105.99,"body":"I feel like there's something"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":107.25,"endTime":111.87,"body":"for everyone, especially if"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":107.25,"endTime":111.87,"body":"you're a parent for Katie's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":111.87,"endTime":120.99,"body":"episode, or a teen. And for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":111.87,"endTime":120.99,"body":"Victoria is episode. Grief in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":120.99,"endTime":125.85,"body":"general, really. And if you've"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":120.99,"endTime":125.85,"body":"had a, you know, a loved one"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":125.85,"endTime":131.13,"body":"that has passed on that episode"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":125.85,"endTime":131.13,"body":"we we dig into a lot. So anyway,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":131.4,"endTime":135.57,"body":"today I'm going to share some of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":131.4,"endTime":135.57,"body":"my takeaways things that I would"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":135.57,"endTime":140.55,"body":"like to reflect on from their"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":135.57,"endTime":140.55,"body":"episodes. So starting with"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":140.55,"endTime":144.9,"body":"Katie's episode, I think with"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":140.55,"endTime":144.9,"body":"trauma, we tend to have this"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":144.93,"endTime":149.73,"body":"emotional disconnect from our"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":144.93,"endTime":149.73,"body":"bodies. Oftentimes, trauma"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":149.73,"endTime":153.51,"body":"negatively impacts our"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":149.73,"endTime":153.51,"body":"relationships, and others can"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":153.51,"endTime":158.13,"body":"trigger similar emotions that we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":153.51,"endTime":158.13,"body":"are attempting to stuffed down,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":158.67,"endTime":163.86,"body":"ignore, or in some instances,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":158.67,"endTime":163.86,"body":"truly disconnect from and bury"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":163.86,"endTime":169.17,"body":"so deep that the experience and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":163.86,"endTime":169.17,"body":"the feelings come in and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":169.17,"endTime":174.99,"body":"flashes, almost like flashbacks"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":169.17,"endTime":174.99,"body":"later in life. And such has been"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":174.99,"endTime":178.68,"body":"the case for me personally. And,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":174.99,"endTime":178.68,"body":"you know, I really haven't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":178.68,"endTime":183.36,"body":"opened up a whole lot about my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":178.68,"endTime":183.36,"body":"personal experience in a lot of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":183.36,"endTime":189.24,"body":"detail. But Katie's sharing has"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":183.36,"endTime":189.24,"body":"actually, it was actually really"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":189.24,"endTime":193.47,"body":"hard for me to listen to her"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":189.24,"endTime":193.47,"body":"story. Because I only this year,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":193.47,"endTime":198.72,"body":"I've had other experiences come"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":193.47,"endTime":198.72,"body":"up in those flashbacks as I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":198.72,"endTime":203.61,"body":"mentioned. But my story started"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":198.72,"endTime":203.61,"body":"when I was a child. I was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":203.67,"endTime":210.09,"body":"molested as a child, I was nine"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":203.67,"endTime":210.09,"body":"the first time. On another"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":210.09,"endTime":214.29,"body":"occasion, I was a little bit"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":210.09,"endTime":214.29,"body":"older. I was 12. And these are"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":214.29,"endTime":218.34,"body":"the occurrences that I remember"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":214.29,"endTime":218.34,"body":"my childhood is very, I don't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":218.34,"endTime":225.54,"body":"want to say choppy in my memory."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":218.34,"endTime":225.54,"body":"You know, losing my dad at eight"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":225.54,"endTime":228.72,"body":"that was very traumatic. And he"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":225.54,"endTime":228.72,"body":"was sick for quite some time"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":228.72,"endTime":236.46,"body":"before that. So yeah, just my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":228.72,"endTime":236.46,"body":"childhood is not wasn't ideal."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":236.46,"endTime":241.8,"body":"Like it wasn't. Yeah, I just I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":236.46,"endTime":241.8,"body":"feel like that I buried a lot."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":242.22,"endTime":247.89,"body":"And so therefore a lot of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":242.22,"endTime":247.89,"body":"memories are captured. Not a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":247.89,"endTime":252.21,"body":"lot, because I don't have a lot"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":247.89,"endTime":252.21,"body":"of pictures to be honest. It's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":252.21,"endTime":257.01,"body":"almost as if I need pictures to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":252.21,"endTime":257.01,"body":"remember, I guess. But that time"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":257.01,"endTime":261.36,"body":"plays out in my mind, like a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":257.01,"endTime":261.36,"body":"movie. And so do my cries for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":261.36,"endTime":265.71,"body":"help where others were in the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":261.36,"endTime":265.71,"body":"home, and no one came to help"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":265.71,"endTime":269.76,"body":"me. After the second time I was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":265.71,"endTime":269.76,"body":"12. I was silent for two years."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":271.019,"endTime":276.779,"body":"Until I wasn't and and then I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":271.019,"endTime":276.779,"body":"was disregarded. Thus, this set"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":276.779,"endTime":281.669,"body":"the stage for a child who became"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":276.779,"endTime":281.669,"body":"very angry inside a child who"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":281.669,"endTime":285.659,"body":"learned that good behavior."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":281.669,"endTime":285.659,"body":"That's an air quotes, by the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":285.659,"endTime":291.839,"body":"way, was rewarded with love."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":285.659,"endTime":291.839,"body":"Which then created unworthiness"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":291.839,"endTime":296.729,"body":"issues that I'm actually still"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":291.839,"endTime":296.729,"body":"working through. Not to mention"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":296.729,"endTime":299.579,"body":"the ability to say what I need"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":296.729,"endTime":299.579,"body":"and ask for help."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":300.08,"endTime":304.67,"body":"I learned resiliency, but not by"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":300.08,"endTime":304.67,"body":"choice. I've spoken about this"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":304.67,"endTime":308.9,"body":"before, maybe in another podcast"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":304.67,"endTime":308.9,"body":"episode with someone else, or"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":308.93,"endTime":313.85,"body":"I'm not sure, but it drives me"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":308.93,"endTime":313.85,"body":"absolutely crazy when people say"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":313.85,"endTime":317.78,"body":"that children are resilient,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":313.85,"endTime":317.78,"body":"because many became that way,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":318.17,"endTime":323.06,"body":"not by choice, and children"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":318.17,"endTime":323.06,"body":"don't necessarily bounce back or"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":323.12,"endTime":328.28,"body":"get over it any more than adults"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":323.12,"endTime":328.28,"body":"do. So children with they're"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":328.31,"endTime":332.63,"body":"still developing minds, rather,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":328.31,"endTime":332.63,"body":"are changed biologically and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":332.63,"endTime":337.97,"body":"chemically, at a cellular level,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":332.63,"endTime":337.97,"body":"when there's trauma, which is an"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":337.97,"endTime":342.26,"body":"event that is traumatic to them,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":337.97,"endTime":342.26,"body":"and not by your definition as"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":342.26,"endTime":347.6,"body":"the adult. So often, adults"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":342.26,"endTime":347.6,"body":"don't understand, you know, what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":347.6,"endTime":351.26,"body":"the big deal is, when kids"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":347.6,"endTime":351.26,"body":"express their emotions in a big"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":351.26,"endTime":357.47,"body":"way. And the best thing you can"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":351.26,"endTime":357.47,"body":"do is to without judgment, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":357.47,"endTime":362.69,"body":"was analyzing or criticizing"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":357.47,"endTime":362.69,"body":"them, is to just listen, you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":362.69,"endTime":365.54,"body":"know, and I'm not talking even"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":362.69,"endTime":365.54,"body":"like these these big experience,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":365.57,"endTime":369.08,"body":"these traumatic experiences, I'm"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":365.57,"endTime":369.08,"body":"talking the little ones to that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":369.26,"endTime":372.5,"body":"might not be a big deal to you,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":369.26,"endTime":372.5,"body":"but to that child, it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":372.62,"endTime":375.65,"body":"something traumatic for them,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":372.62,"endTime":375.65,"body":"you know, you take their blankie"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":375.65,"endTime":379.13,"body":"away, or their pet dies into"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":375.65,"endTime":379.13,"body":"you, it's like, well, we can"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":379.13,"endTime":382.52,"body":"replace the pet, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":379.13,"endTime":382.52,"body":"can, we can get a new dog. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":382.52,"endTime":386.09,"body":"this is why I talk a lot about"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":382.52,"endTime":386.09,"body":"with grief in that the first"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":386.09,"endTime":390.08,"body":"lessons we receive on how to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":386.09,"endTime":390.08,"body":"grieve is when we are children."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":390.2,"endTime":394.85,"body":"So don't just assume that, you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":390.2,"endTime":394.85,"body":"know, the dog dies, get a new"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":394.85,"endTime":398.33,"body":"one, hope they bounce back,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":394.85,"endTime":398.33,"body":"they're still emotionally"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":398.33,"endTime":401.81,"body":"incomplete from that first pet"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":398.33,"endTime":401.81,"body":"they lost, that was probably"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":401.81,"endTime":405.62,"body":"their best friend, their first"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":401.81,"endTime":405.62,"body":"their first love in a way, you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":405.62,"endTime":408.77,"body":"know, you just don't forget your"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":405.62,"endTime":408.77,"body":"first love, I think there needs"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":408.77,"endTime":411.77,"body":"to be a little bit more"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":408.77,"endTime":411.77,"body":"compassion brought in to the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":411.77,"endTime":415.85,"body":"relationships that children"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":411.77,"endTime":415.85,"body":"develop. So anyway, that's kind"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":415.85,"endTime":418.97,"body":"of a side tangent. I mentioned"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":415.85,"endTime":418.97,"body":"that though, because by the time"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":418.97,"endTime":424.52,"body":"I was 18, I had had several big"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":418.97,"endTime":424.52,"body":"T traumas, but also little ones,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":424.52,"endTime":427.73,"body":"too, you know, with the animals,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":424.52,"endTime":427.73,"body":"you know, with the dogs that I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":427.73,"endTime":431.93,"body":"had to give away and couldn't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":427.73,"endTime":431.93,"body":"keep or friends moving away. So"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":431.96,"endTime":435.86,"body":"by the age of 18, I'd already"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":431.96,"endTime":435.86,"body":"experienced those, like I said,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":435.86,"endTime":440.51,"body":"several big t traumas. And as"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":435.86,"endTime":440.51,"body":"Dr. Victoria Shaw called them in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":440.51,"endTime":447.08,"body":"Episode 26, and adulthood to me,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":440.51,"endTime":447.08,"body":"like, equated this, in many"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":447.08,"endTime":451.19,"body":"ways, freedom, I saw myself in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":447.08,"endTime":451.19,"body":"Katy second experience more than"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":451.19,"endTime":454.19,"body":"once. And if you haven't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":451.19,"endTime":454.19,"body":"listened to that episode, this"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":454.19,"endTime":458.15,"body":"won't make much sense, maybe"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":454.19,"endTime":458.15,"body":"until you do. But alcohol was my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":458.63,"endTime":462.74,"body":"best friend for several years."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":458.63,"endTime":462.74,"body":"And as a result, I just didn't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":462.74,"endTime":467.09,"body":"care about much else, I should"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":462.74,"endTime":467.09,"body":"have lost my job, I nearly lost"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":467.09,"endTime":472.07,"body":"my license, my driver's license,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":467.09,"endTime":472.07,"body":"I ruined my credit. And when it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":472.07,"endTime":476.15,"body":"all came to a head, I am pretty"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":472.07,"endTime":476.15,"body":"amazed looking back that I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":476.15,"endTime":480.44,"body":"wasn't using more alcohol or"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":476.15,"endTime":480.44,"body":"something other than alcohol."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":480.56,"endTime":485.03,"body":"But there was one I'd buried so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":480.56,"endTime":485.03,"body":"deeply that as I speak about it,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":485.09,"endTime":487.97,"body":"I still don't fully know what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":485.09,"endTime":487.97,"body":"happened. And that's the scary"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":487.97,"endTime":492.17,"body":"thing about trauma. It can rare,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":487.97,"endTime":492.17,"body":"it's buried ugly head, when you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":492.17,"endTime":496.25,"body":"least expect it. I experienced a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":492.17,"endTime":496.25,"body":"first a flashback during my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":496.25,"endTime":500.63,"body":"Reiki one and two certification."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":496.25,"endTime":500.63,"body":"And what has followed has been"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":500.84,"endTime":504.71,"body":"more moments like that the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":500.84,"endTime":504.71,"body":"impact it's had on me and my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":504.71,"endTime":509.48,"body":"marriage, not necessarily in a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":504.71,"endTime":509.48,"body":"bad way. It's brought to the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":509.51,"endTime":513.98,"body":"bend brought to the light to be"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":509.51,"endTime":513.98,"body":"healed. Did it feel good? No."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":514.88,"endTime":517.55,"body":"But it did it. I mean, to be"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":514.88,"endTime":517.55,"body":"honest, it did have some"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":517.55,"endTime":522.17,"body":"negative impact on my marriage."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":517.55,"endTime":522.17,"body":"Because a trauma like that, that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":522.17,"endTime":525.59,"body":"you can't really explain, you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":522.17,"endTime":525.59,"body":"really don't know. What do you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":525.59,"endTime":529.37,"body":"do with that, right? So still"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":525.59,"endTime":529.37,"body":"working through that our shadow"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":529.37,"endTime":533.96,"body":"selves. The sides of us that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":529.37,"endTime":533.96,"body":"come out when we're stressed,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":534.02,"endTime":538.22,"body":"angry or sad, are tied to those"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":534.02,"endTime":538.22,"body":"parts of ourselves that are"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":538.22,"endTime":542.54,"body":"asking to be healed. And so for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":538.22,"endTime":542.54,"body":"me giving up alcohol completely"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":542.57,"endTime":546.86,"body":"cold turkey. It was a year in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":542.57,"endTime":546.86,"body":"November, which I still fully"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":546.86,"endTime":551.06,"body":"can't explain. Because I don't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":546.86,"endTime":551.06,"body":"even crave it wasn't that was a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":551.06,"endTime":554.42,"body":"necessary step to heal"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":551.06,"endTime":554.42,"body":"everything else because my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":554.42,"endTime":559.67,"body":"relationship to alcohol didn't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":554.42,"endTime":559.67,"body":"start in my 20s. Like for many"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":559.67,"endTime":564.2,"body":"of us, it started for me as a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":559.67,"endTime":564.2,"body":"teenager. And there are layers"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":564.2,"endTime":568.4,"body":"to our lives, chapters of our"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":564.2,"endTime":568.4,"body":"book that with tender self"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":568.4,"endTime":573.71,"body":"loving care and self compassion."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":568.4,"endTime":573.71,"body":"We can change the narrative of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":573.71,"endTime":577.73,"body":"our future chapters. And Katie"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":573.71,"endTime":577.73,"body":"did that for herself by sharing"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":577.73,"endTime":582.68,"body":"for the first time her story on"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":577.73,"endTime":582.68,"body":"my podcast publicly, and it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":582.68,"endTime":586.04,"body":"led to some much needed"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":582.68,"endTime":586.04,"body":"conversations in her life"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":586.07,"endTime":589.43,"body":"healing conversations from what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":586.07,"endTime":589.43,"body":"she shared with me since we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":589.43,"endTime":593.27,"body":"recorded her Episode Two months"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":589.43,"endTime":593.27,"body":"ago. I hope you find your"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":593.27,"endTime":598.67,"body":"courage to make the moves you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":593.27,"endTime":598.67,"body":"need and the steps you need to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":598.67,"endTime":599.96,"body":"heal. What"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":600.14,"endTime":605.48,"body":"That looks like for you, whether"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":600.14,"endTime":605.48,"body":"it's seeking outside help going"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":605.48,"endTime":609.62,"body":"on a healing retreat, beginning"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":605.48,"endTime":609.62,"body":"a journaling and meditation"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":609.62,"endTime":614.15,"body":"practice, or simply forgiving"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":609.62,"endTime":614.15,"body":"yourself. But I must tell you,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":614.39,"endTime":620.24,"body":"it is not necessary to confront"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":614.39,"endTime":620.24,"body":"anyone who has hurt you,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":621.02,"endTime":625.28,"body":"physically or otherwise,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":621.02,"endTime":625.28,"body":"forgiveness is for you, not the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":625.28,"endTime":628.58,"body":"other person. Grief recovery can"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":625.28,"endTime":628.58,"body":"help you find your way to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":628.58,"endTime":632.0,"body":"forgiveness without ever"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":628.58,"endTime":632.0,"body":"speaking one word to the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":632.0,"endTime":635.72,"body":"offender, reach out if you need"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":632.0,"endTime":635.72,"body":"support. And I'll put the link"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":635.72,"endTime":638.96,"body":"in the show notes. The biggest"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":635.72,"endTime":638.96,"body":"mistake so many of us make is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":638.96,"endTime":642.59,"body":"that we think we have to go it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":638.96,"endTime":642.59,"body":"alone. Society has taught us"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":642.59,"endTime":645.95,"body":"that you need to be strong. But"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":642.59,"endTime":645.95,"body":"like I said, traumas big and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":645.95,"endTime":650.12,"body":"small, have a way of rearing"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":645.95,"endTime":650.12,"body":"their ugly heads when we least"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":650.12,"endTime":654.53,"body":"expect it. So if you do need"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":650.12,"endTime":654.53,"body":"support, please, if you don't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":654.53,"endTime":658.7,"body":"reach out to me, reach out to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":654.53,"endTime":658.7,"body":"someone. Moving on to Victoria's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":658.7,"endTime":661.7,"body":"episode, I'm going to be"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":658.7,"endTime":661.7,"body":"speaking to the moms, the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":661.7,"endTime":667.85,"body":"parents listening. That's what I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":661.7,"endTime":667.85,"body":"am. That's what this episode was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":667.85,"endTime":672.8,"body":"about. To start. It was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":667.85,"endTime":672.8,"body":"Victoria's story of her loss of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":673.31,"endTime":676.94,"body":"herself her beloved self as she"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":673.31,"endTime":676.94,"body":"called her when she became a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":676.94,"endTime":680.33,"body":"mother. And I really resonated"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":676.94,"endTime":680.33,"body":"with that I thought it was a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":680.33,"endTime":682.7,"body":"different type of loss that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":680.33,"endTime":682.7,"body":"hadn't been covered on the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":682.7,"endTime":687.56,"body":"podcast, one that I relate to, I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":682.7,"endTime":687.56,"body":"think, especially when you are"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":688.07,"endTime":689.99,"body":"in the trenches of motherhood,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":691.019,"endTime":694.679,"body":"as I explained to in the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":691.019,"endTime":694.679,"body":"episode, sharing how my kids"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":694.679,"endTime":700.229,"body":"were, I have three children. My"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":694.679,"endTime":700.229,"body":"oldest is pushing 16, my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":700.229,"endTime":704.939,"body":"youngest will be 12 pretty soon"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":700.229,"endTime":704.939,"body":"and my middle is 14 started a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":704.939,"endTime":710.279,"body":"job now my middle one. She's a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":704.939,"endTime":710.279,"body":"waitress got her light cutter"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":710.279,"endTime":715.259,"body":"permit actually not that long"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":710.279,"endTime":715.259,"body":"ago. So you know, I'm on the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":715.259,"endTime":721.559,"body":"road to an empty nest faster"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":715.259,"endTime":721.559,"body":"than I really anticipated when"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":721.769,"endTime":725.009,"body":"they were still three in diapers"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":721.769,"endTime":725.009,"body":"at one time. And those years are"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":725.009,"endTime":729.719,"body":"a blur. Absolutely a blur. But"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":725.009,"endTime":729.719,"body":"there was so much going on for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":729.719,"endTime":733.109,"body":"me at that time, personally, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":729.719,"endTime":733.109,"body":"children have a way of bringing"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":733.109,"endTime":737.939,"body":"up our traumas. So emotionally,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":733.109,"endTime":737.939,"body":"I felt like I was going through"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":737.939,"endTime":742.469,"body":"a lot. I was a single mom,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":737.939,"endTime":742.469,"body":"essentially, for much of their"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":742.529,"endTime":745.589,"body":"younger years. Just because my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":742.529,"endTime":745.589,"body":"husband traveled with his job,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":745.589,"endTime":749.039,"body":"he was gone quite a bit. So that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":745.589,"endTime":749.039,"body":"was challenging. So you kind of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":749.039,"endTime":754.619,"body":"lose yourself when you're so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":749.039,"endTime":754.619,"body":"preoccupied with little people."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":754.799,"endTime":757.859,"body":"Right? You don't have time for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":754.799,"endTime":757.859,"body":"yourself. It's hard to make"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":757.859,"endTime":761.519,"body":"time. I'll just make the time."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":757.859,"endTime":761.519,"body":"Yeah, easier said than done."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":761.519,"endTime":767.699,"body":"Right? So yeah, I lost myself in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":761.519,"endTime":767.699,"body":"my kids. And by the time I could"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":768.389,"endTime":771.179,"body":"actually take a step back and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":768.389,"endTime":771.179,"body":"breathe a little boy was I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":771.179,"endTime":775.559,"body":"confused. I was so lost, I felt"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":771.179,"endTime":775.559,"body":"so lost. And it wasn't until my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":775.559,"endTime":779.549,"body":"youngest started was starting"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":775.559,"endTime":779.549,"body":"kindergarten. And actually, just"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":779.609,"endTime":784.199,"body":"this week, as I'm recording"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":779.609,"endTime":784.199,"body":"this, I connected some dots, I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":784.199,"endTime":789.539,"body":"realized I had a loss in 2014 of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":784.199,"endTime":789.539,"body":"someone who it was really an"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":789.539,"endTime":793.529,"body":"emotionally charged"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":789.539,"endTime":793.529,"body":"relationship, because she wasn't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":793.529,"endTime":798.059,"body":"in my life. And the person was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":793.529,"endTime":798.059,"body":"my grandmother, my dad's mother,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":798.269,"endTime":801.269,"body":"and I had not connected the dots"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":798.269,"endTime":801.269,"body":"that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":802.62,"endTime":805.5,"body":"you know, she had actually died"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":802.62,"endTime":805.5,"body":"the month before my youngest"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":805.5,"endTime":809.43,"body":"started kindergarten. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":805.5,"endTime":809.43,"body":"emotionally, I think I kind of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":809.43,"endTime":813.15,"body":"buried what was going on for me"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":809.43,"endTime":813.15,"body":"during that time when she passed"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":813.15,"endTime":816.18,"body":"because I had gone to visit her"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":813.15,"endTime":816.18,"body":"in the nursing home. And it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":816.18,"endTime":821.43,"body":"wasn't a very good visit. I I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":816.18,"endTime":821.43,"body":"think I went there for some sort"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":821.43,"endTime":825.81,"body":"of completion, some sort of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":821.43,"endTime":825.81,"body":"apology, because when my dad"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":825.81,"endTime":830.07,"body":"passed, I didn't as much as even"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":825.81,"endTime":830.07,"body":"get a birthday card, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":830.07,"endTime":834.36,"body":"was eight, and I just wasn't in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":830.07,"endTime":834.36,"body":"her life. And I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":834.63,"endTime":838.26,"body":"really the reason completely"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":834.63,"endTime":838.26,"body":"behind all that. But, you know,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":838.26,"endTime":841.47,"body":"adult matters tend to trickle"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":838.26,"endTime":841.47,"body":"into the children, you know,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":841.62,"endTime":846.54,"body":"which is very unfortunate egos"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":841.62,"endTime":846.54,"body":"get in the way. And the children"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":846.54,"endTime":849.87,"body":"become collateral damage. So"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":846.54,"endTime":849.87,"body":"that was me, I felt, you know,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":850.05,"endTime":855.21,"body":"really damaged from the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":850.05,"endTime":855.21,"body":"fractured relationship, the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":855.21,"endTime":858.27,"body":"relationship that never was. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":855.21,"endTime":858.27,"body":"so when I went to see her in the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":858.27,"endTime":861.15,"body":"nursing home, I think I was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":858.27,"endTime":861.15,"body":"looking for some sort of glimmer"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":861.15,"endTime":866.37,"body":"in her eye of sorrow, regret,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":861.15,"endTime":866.37,"body":"and yeah, an apology that I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":866.37,"endTime":869.94,"body":"never got. And so like in grief"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":866.37,"endTime":869.94,"body":"recovery, we say, Well, you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":869.94,"endTime":872.4,"body":"know, if you're looking for an"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":869.94,"endTime":872.4,"body":"apology, you never get you're"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":872.4,"endTime":874.92,"body":"stuck in emotional jail. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":872.4,"endTime":874.92,"body":"that's the thing about"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":874.92,"endTime":879.42,"body":"forgiveness is that and why it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":874.92,"endTime":879.42,"body":"for us and not the other person."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":879.45,"endTime":882.66,"body":"Because what if you were to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":879.45,"endTime":882.66,"body":"forgive someone in person, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":882.66,"endTime":886.23,"body":"they don't accept it? They don't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":882.66,"endTime":886.23,"body":"accept your apology. You're"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":886.23,"endTime":889.71,"body":"stuck in emotional jail, or what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":886.23,"endTime":889.71,"body":"if you're waiting for an apology"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":889.71,"endTime":892.86,"body":"that you never get? You're still"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":889.71,"endTime":892.86,"body":"stuck in emotional jail, right?"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":892.92,"endTime":896.61,"body":"So that was me. I was stuck in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":892.92,"endTime":896.61,"body":"emotional jail, and then my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":896.61,"endTime":898.92,"body":"youngest started kindergarten"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":896.61,"endTime":898.92,"body":"and I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":899.0,"endTime":903.62,"body":"Not until this week. So that was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":899.0,"endTime":903.62,"body":"kind of the tip of the iceberg,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":903.62,"endTime":908.0,"body":"I suppose of 2014 when this"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":903.62,"endTime":908.0,"body":"whole personal development stuff"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":908.0,"endTime":911.69,"body":"really started to take off for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":908.0,"endTime":911.69,"body":"me, I suppose, where I looked"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":911.69,"endTime":916.01,"body":"for books and things, courses,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":911.69,"endTime":916.01,"body":"people that could help me feel"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":916.01,"endTime":920.36,"body":"better. So yeah, anyway, back to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":916.01,"endTime":920.36,"body":"Victoria's conversation about"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":920.39,"endTime":925.7,"body":"motherhood. That's what 2014 the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":920.39,"endTime":925.7,"body":"start of 2014 was for me, it was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":925.73,"endTime":928.58,"body":"finding my way back to me again,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":925.73,"endTime":928.58,"body":"after my youngest started"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":928.58,"endTime":931.31,"body":"kindergarten. Now, at that same"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":928.58,"endTime":931.31,"body":"time, if you've never listened"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":931.31,"endTime":934.88,"body":"to an episode, before I got a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":931.31,"endTime":934.88,"body":"dog, I told my husband, I needed"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":934.88,"endTime":939.47,"body":"a dog, because I was really"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":934.88,"endTime":939.47,"body":"hurting inside and I was looking"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":939.47,"endTime":944.12,"body":"for a distraction. And I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":939.47,"endTime":944.12,"body":"replaced the loss of my child,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":944.12,"endTime":947.51,"body":"my last one going to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":944.12,"endTime":947.51,"body":"kindergarten of what I now know"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":947.51,"endTime":953.27,"body":"is like emotional dis ease from"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":947.51,"endTime":953.27,"body":"that relationship that ended the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":953.27,"endTime":957.59,"body":"way it did. That brought up all"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":953.27,"endTime":957.59,"body":"those old old feelings when she"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":957.59,"endTime":961.52,"body":"passed. So yeah, that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":957.59,"endTime":961.52,"body":"conversation really resonated"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":961.52,"endTime":965.87,"body":"with me, I listened to it, if"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":961.52,"endTime":965.87,"body":"you're a mother probably will"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":965.87,"endTime":970.22,"body":"resonate with you too. And we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":965.87,"endTime":970.22,"body":"got a lot into talking about the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":970.22,"endTime":974.39,"body":"Woo, the woo of life. When I say"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":970.22,"endTime":974.39,"body":"the word Woo. I mean, like the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":974.39,"endTime":977.96,"body":"things you can't explain the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":974.39,"endTime":977.96,"body":"spiritual, the mystic"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1012.2,"endTime":1016.46,"body":"to this day, after being a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1012.2,"endTime":1016.46,"body":"practitioner, Reiki practitioner"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1016.46,"endTime":1022.1,"body":"now for Oh, gosh, is it a year,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1016.46,"endTime":1022.1,"body":"something like that little over"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1022.1,"endTime":1025.82,"body":"a year, it really is hard for me"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1022.1,"endTime":1025.82,"body":"to explain. There's a mystery to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1025.82,"endTime":1030.86,"body":"it. That brings out the kid in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1025.82,"endTime":1030.86,"body":"me. And I've really, anyway,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1031.04,"endTime":1033.92,"body":"I'll get more into that. But"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1031.04,"endTime":1033.92,"body":"when I say Woo, that's what I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1033.92,"endTime":1037.79,"body":"mean. And living where I live,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1033.92,"endTime":1037.79,"body":"where it's very rural farming"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1037.79,"endTime":1042.29,"body":"community, you know, where this"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1037.79,"endTime":1042.29,"body":"is German heritage in my area,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1042.32,"endTime":1047.6,"body":"we're stubborn, we are stubborn."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1042.32,"endTime":1047.6,"body":"I will admit that. So Reiki in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1047.6,"endTime":1051.59,"body":"my area is almost like this"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1047.6,"endTime":1051.59,"body":"thing that the people that come"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1051.59,"endTime":1056.27,"body":"to me, I hear a lot. So many of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1051.59,"endTime":1056.27,"body":"them say that, well, that's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1056.27,"endTime":1060.5,"body":"weird. I'm weird. And, you know,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1056.27,"endTime":1060.5,"body":"for many years, like when I was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1060.5,"endTime":1065.21,"body":"a child, I thought I was weird,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1060.5,"endTime":1065.21,"body":"too. But anyway, so growing up,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1065.84,"endTime":1069.83,"body":"I was into the mysterious and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1065.84,"endTime":1069.83,"body":"the unexplainable, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1069.86,"endTime":1074.42,"body":"mysticism, I ordered a dream"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1069.86,"endTime":1074.42,"body":"analysis book, as a teen, I read"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1074.42,"endTime":1079.43,"body":"my horoscope read religiously,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1074.42,"endTime":1079.43,"body":"into my peers, I did feel"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1079.43,"endTime":1084.32,"body":"different from them. Because I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1079.43,"endTime":1084.32,"body":"was into the different. And when"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1084.32,"endTime":1088.7,"body":"I say different, I'm, you know,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1084.32,"endTime":1088.7,"body":"air quotes, different as I grew,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1088.97,"endTime":1092.78,"body":"and responsibilities and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1088.97,"endTime":1092.78,"body":"obligations of life, those"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1092.78,"endTime":1096.17,"body":"things were kind of shoved to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1092.78,"endTime":1096.17,"body":"the, to the background, you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1096.17,"endTime":1099.2,"body":"know, obligations,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1096.17,"endTime":1099.2,"body":"responsibilities were put to the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1099.2,"endTime":1104.75,"body":"forefront, and my dreamy mystic,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1099.2,"endTime":1104.75,"body":"intrigued self went into the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1104.75,"endTime":1109.13,"body":"shadows. That is until I started"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1104.75,"endTime":1109.13,"body":"to wake up to that side of me,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1109.13,"endTime":1113.81,"body":"again, the unbelievably curious"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1109.13,"endTime":1113.81,"body":"side of me, because I felt"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1113.81,"endTime":1118.1,"body":"incredibly lost in my life, as I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1113.81,"endTime":1118.1,"body":"mentioned earlier, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1118.1,"endTime":1123.11,"body":"unfulfilled. And I didn't know"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1118.1,"endTime":1123.11,"body":"why, by outward appearances, I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1123.11,"endTime":1127.73,"body":"should have been happy. I had a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1123.11,"endTime":1127.73,"body":"great family, healthy kids who I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1127.73,"endTime":1131.75,"body":"was able to raise without the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1127.73,"endTime":1131.75,"body":"pressures of childcare and the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1131.75,"endTime":1136.61,"body":"needs, and overall, I was living"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1131.75,"endTime":1136.61,"body":"a blessed life. And there's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1136.61,"endTime":1140.66,"body":"grief in that in so much guilt"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1136.61,"endTime":1140.66,"body":"and shame. Like, why can't you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1140.66,"endTime":1145.19,"body":"just be content? I would think"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1140.66,"endTime":1145.19,"body":"to myself, How selfish are you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1145.22,"endTime":1150.2,"body":"for wanting more for yourself?"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1145.22,"endTime":1150.2,"body":"But what was that more? What was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1150.2,"endTime":1153.62,"body":"it? That's why I felt so lost."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1150.2,"endTime":1153.62,"body":"That's what grief does to us,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1154.01,"endTime":1157.4,"body":"makes us feel lost. Like, we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1154.01,"endTime":1157.4,"body":"don't have choices, all these"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1157.4,"endTime":1161.42,"body":"things. So I felt lost. 2014"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1157.4,"endTime":1161.42,"body":"lost. And that's when I started,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1161.42,"endTime":1165.44,"body":"like I said earlier to seeking"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1161.42,"endTime":1165.44,"body":"out or maybe they found me"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1165.53,"endTime":1168.89,"body":"books, resources, courses,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1165.53,"endTime":1168.89,"body":"things that would help me"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1168.98,"endTime":1173.27,"body":"elevate my life, evolve, grow"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1168.98,"endTime":1173.27,"body":"through the things I'd"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1173.27,"endTime":1176.54,"body":"experienced. So over the next"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1173.27,"endTime":1176.54,"body":"five years, I would navigate the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1176.54,"endTime":1180.71,"body":"deep question. We all ask"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1176.54,"endTime":1180.71,"body":"ourselves at one point, and more"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1180.71,"endTime":1183.68,"body":"often than not, it's during a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1180.71,"endTime":1183.68,"body":"life changing period in our"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1183.68,"endTime":1188.45,"body":"lives, or life changing event."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1183.68,"endTime":1188.45,"body":"And the question is, why am I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1188.45,"endTime":1192.14,"body":"here? The other question is,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1188.45,"endTime":1192.14,"body":"what is my purpose, which brings"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1192.14,"endTime":1195.89,"body":"me back to the child within me,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1192.14,"endTime":1195.89,"body":"who was curious about"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1195.89,"endTime":1199.46,"body":"everything. So my journey of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1195.89,"endTime":1199.46,"body":"self discovery began"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1199.96,"endTime":1203.74,"body":"with having my palms read and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1199.96,"endTime":1203.74,"body":"doing an immense amount of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1203.74,"endTime":1208.75,"body":"journaling, meditation, tapping,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1203.74,"endTime":1208.75,"body":"reading so many books, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1208.75,"endTime":1213.97,"body":"finally, grief recovery. And as"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1208.75,"endTime":1213.97,"body":"I began to shed the layers of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1213.97,"endTime":1217.33,"body":"all that grief through grief"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1213.97,"endTime":1217.33,"body":"recovery work in the personal"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1217.33,"endTime":1221.44,"body":"development and internal stuff I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1217.33,"endTime":1221.44,"body":"was working through, I was led"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1221.44,"endTime":1225.64,"body":"to Reiki or Reiki phone me kept"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1221.44,"endTime":1225.64,"body":"hearing about it. Reiki, reiki,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1225.64,"endTime":1228.73,"body":"reiki, I'm like, What? It would"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1225.64,"endTime":1228.73,"body":"pop up everywhere, like what is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1228.73,"endTime":1232.81,"body":"Reiki? I had a call with a gal"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1228.73,"endTime":1232.81,"body":"that knew more about Reiki than"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1232.81,"endTime":1236.71,"body":"I did. We talked and she shared"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1232.81,"endTime":1236.71,"body":"what she knew with me and so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1236.71,"endTime":1240.4,"body":"intrigued and curious. And I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1236.71,"endTime":1240.4,"body":"hadn't even experienced a Reiki"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1240.4,"endTime":1242.95,"body":"session for myself. And I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1240.4,"endTime":1242.95,"body":"thought, well, there's something"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1242.95,"endTime":1245.89,"body":"to this, I listened to my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1242.95,"endTime":1245.89,"body":"intuition, and I signed up for a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1245.89,"endTime":1250.15,"body":"class and the rest is history. I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1245.89,"endTime":1250.15,"body":"went as far as I've could have"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1250.27,"endTime":1255.04,"body":"gone. Now as in my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1250.27,"endTime":1255.04,"body":"certifications, unless I Well,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1255.07,"endTime":1258.01,"body":"that's not true, I could"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1255.07,"endTime":1258.01,"body":"actually become a licensed Reiki"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1258.01,"endTime":1261.76,"body":"Master, which can take several"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1258.01,"endTime":1261.76,"body":"years actually take up to three"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1261.76,"endTime":1265.03,"body":"years. I'm not quite there yet."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1261.76,"endTime":1265.03,"body":"I'm very satisfied with where"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1265.03,"endTime":1267.37,"body":"I'm at, I guess in my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1265.03,"endTime":1267.37,"body":"development, as far as Reiki"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1267.37,"endTime":1271.09,"body":"goes, but Reiki has been a game"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1267.37,"endTime":1271.09,"body":"changer for me. It has been that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1271.09,"endTime":1276.16,"body":"thing that has reminded me of my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1271.09,"endTime":1276.16,"body":"kids self, the child curious"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1276.16,"endTime":1279.19,"body":"about everything, who wondered"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1276.16,"endTime":1279.19,"body":"about the things no one could"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1279.19,"endTime":1283.99,"body":"explain, and has helped me to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1279.19,"endTime":1283.99,"body":"understand myself. on a deeper"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1283.99,"endTime":1287.8,"body":"level. I've learned through"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1283.99,"endTime":1287.8,"body":"Reiki, why don't get squeamish"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1287.86,"endTime":1292.63,"body":"around others deep emotions, how"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1287.86,"endTime":1292.63,"body":"I'm empathic, and feel others"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1292.69,"endTime":1297.55,"body":"people's energy in the room."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1292.69,"endTime":1297.55,"body":"Reiki has given me language to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1297.55,"endTime":1302.11,"body":"explain why I feel drained,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1297.55,"endTime":1302.11,"body":"after social events, how I would"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1302.11,"endTime":1306.37,"body":"pick up and take on other"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1302.11,"endTime":1306.37,"body":"people's energy. But in the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1306.37,"endTime":1310.3,"body":"past, I didn't know how to shake"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1306.37,"endTime":1310.3,"body":"as when I was a professional"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1310.3,"endTime":1313.18,"body":"photographer, and I shot"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1310.3,"endTime":1313.18,"body":"weddings, you know, shooting a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1313.18,"endTime":1316.45,"body":"wedding, it's, you know, 12 hour"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1313.18,"endTime":1316.45,"body":"day, it's like a marathon and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1316.48,"endTime":1320.38,"body":"you're around people all day,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1316.48,"endTime":1320.38,"body":"like it's 12 hours of peopling"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1320.74,"endTime":1324.55,"body":"and I would be wiped two days,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1320.74,"endTime":1324.55,"body":"it would take me two days to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1324.55,"endTime":1328.24,"body":"recover from shooting a wedding."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1324.55,"endTime":1328.24,"body":"I never really understood why I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1328.24,"endTime":1331.84,"body":"just thought it was like this,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1328.24,"endTime":1331.84,"body":"you know, the mental and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1331.87,"endTime":1336.13,"body":"physical bandwidth that goes"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1331.87,"endTime":1336.13,"body":"into it. But it was also"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1336.25,"endTime":1340.3,"body":"people's energy, like a lot of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1336.25,"endTime":1340.3,"body":"people's energy, which is really"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1340.3,"endTime":1344.08,"body":"great, usually for a wedding,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1340.3,"endTime":1344.08,"body":"but not always, you know,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1344.38,"endTime":1347.95,"body":"there's family dynamics where"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1344.38,"endTime":1347.95,"body":"things can be stressful to so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1348.07,"endTime":1352.45,"body":"but anyway, I just really gained"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1348.07,"endTime":1352.45,"body":"a lot of understanding of my own"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1352.45,"endTime":1356.11,"body":"energy through Reiki. So coming"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1352.45,"endTime":1356.11,"body":"back to where I live in rural"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1356.11,"endTime":1360.1,"body":"North Dakota, when I tell people"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1356.11,"endTime":1360.1,"body":"in my area, and even at first"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1360.1,"endTime":1363.16,"body":"when I told some of my own"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1360.1,"endTime":1363.16,"body":"family members about Reiki they"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1363.16,"endTime":1367.9,"body":"were like, Huh, what's that?"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1363.16,"endTime":1367.9,"body":"Reiki just isn't well known. Not"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1367.9,"endTime":1372.01,"body":"in my area anyway. And the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1367.9,"endTime":1372.01,"body":"clients I do have have expressed"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1372.01,"endTime":1375.58,"body":"to me what I long felt about"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1372.01,"endTime":1375.58,"body":"myself, as I mentioned, like"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1375.58,"endTime":1378.76,"body":"they, you know, they're weird."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1375.58,"endTime":1378.76,"body":"They feel like they're weird,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1378.76,"endTime":1382.24,"body":"because they're into this sort"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1378.76,"endTime":1382.24,"body":"of thing that makes me sad,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1382.39,"endTime":1386.41,"body":"because they're feeling"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1382.39,"endTime":1386.41,"body":"embarrassment, for knowing what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1386.41,"endTime":1390.58,"body":"it is. Because it's just one of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1386.41,"endTime":1390.58,"body":"those things. That's really hard"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1390.58,"endTime":1395.98,"body":"to explain. And this leads me to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1390.58,"endTime":1395.98,"body":"a question. So if you identify"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1395.98,"endTime":1399.52,"body":"yourself, as a Christian, stick"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1395.98,"endTime":1399.52,"body":"with me, I'm not getting into"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1399.52,"endTime":1402.88,"body":"religion here. Just stick with"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1399.52,"endTime":1402.88,"body":"me. If you identify yourself as"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1402.88,"endTime":1405.67,"body":"a Christian, I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1402.88,"endTime":1405.67,"body":"challenge you to consider it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1405.67,"endTime":1410.29,"body":"doesn't that isn't that a little"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1405.67,"endTime":1410.29,"body":"bit Woo, too. Because if you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1410.29,"endTime":1416.95,"body":"believe in someone, you neither"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1410.29,"endTime":1416.95,"body":"see, nor hear out loud and can't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1416.95,"endTime":1421.27,"body":"explain in a lot of ways, like"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1416.95,"endTime":1421.27,"body":"what it what that faith is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1421.75,"endTime":1425.02,"body":"believing and not seeing, like,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1421.75,"endTime":1425.02,"body":"if you can't if I mean, that's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1425.02,"endTime":1428.23,"body":"really hard to explain for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1425.02,"endTime":1428.23,"body":"Christians, I'm a Christian,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1428.44,"endTime":1431.11,"body":"that's really hard to explain,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1428.44,"endTime":1431.11,"body":"right? To have this inner"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1431.11,"endTime":1434.83,"body":"knowing this faith of what you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1431.11,"endTime":1434.83,"body":"cannot see, and you cannot hear"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1434.92,"endTime":1438.34,"body":"as a Christian. That's a little"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1434.92,"endTime":1438.34,"body":"bit woo isn't it? I don't know."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1438.43,"endTime":1441.04,"body":"That's what came up for me as I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1438.43,"endTime":1441.04,"body":"was thinking about this."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1442.05,"endTime":1445.47,"body":"It's like we believe in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1442.05,"endTime":1445.47,"body":"something we cannot see. And we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1445.47,"endTime":1448.92,"body":"cannot hear. And that's Reiki."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1445.47,"endTime":1448.92,"body":"That's Reiki. For me. You know,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1448.92,"endTime":1452.37,"body":"people might say, You're weird"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1448.92,"endTime":1452.37,"body":"for being a Christian. I don't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1452.37,"endTime":1455.49,"body":"know. There's some people that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1452.37,"endTime":1455.49,"body":"would maybe, but kind of the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1455.64,"endTime":1459.72,"body":"same side of the coin for me. So"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1455.64,"endTime":1459.72,"body":"I suppose just as I have blind"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1459.72,"endTime":1464.94,"body":"faith and Jesus, I have blind"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1459.72,"endTime":1464.94,"body":"faith and Reiki and it's just"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1464.94,"endTime":1470.58,"body":"opened up a spiritual connection"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1464.94,"endTime":1470.58,"body":"for me to a higher power greater"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1470.58,"endTime":1474.03,"body":"than my own. It's actually"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1470.58,"endTime":1474.03,"body":"really enhanced my relationship"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1474.03,"endTime":1478.62,"body":"my faith relationship. I feel"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1474.03,"endTime":1478.62,"body":"like I'm simply a conduit for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1478.62,"endTime":1482.64,"body":"the love and the light energy"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1478.62,"endTime":1482.64,"body":"that is unlike anything I've"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1482.64,"endTime":1486.18,"body":"ever experienced before. As a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1482.64,"endTime":1486.18,"body":"result of the work that I've"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1486.18,"endTime":1490.23,"body":"been doing. I feel more tapped"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1486.18,"endTime":1490.23,"body":"into my intuition and inner"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1490.23,"endTime":1493.92,"body":"knowing the night ever have an a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1490.23,"endTime":1493.92,"body":"part of that is because I've"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1493.92,"endTime":1498.3,"body":"removed the many cloaks that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1493.92,"endTime":1498.3,"body":"I've worn and the veil that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1498.3,"endTime":1499.98,"body":"grief had put over my eyes."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1618.71,"endTime":1622.19,"body":"20 when we recorded"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1618.71,"endTime":1622.19,"body":"our episode,"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1623.57,"endTime":1628.04,"body":"and I shared how my dad hasn't"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1623.57,"endTime":1628.04,"body":"come to me in my dreams in her"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1628.04,"endTime":1630.74,"body":"episode. So if you haven't"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1628.04,"endTime":1630.74,"body":"listened to it, then you'll This"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1630.74,"endTime":1635.27,"body":"will make sense. But three days"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1630.74,"endTime":1635.27,"body":"later, during my Karuna holy"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1635.27,"endTime":1639.41,"body":"fire certification training, we"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1635.27,"endTime":1639.41,"body":"did a guided healing meditation."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1640.37,"endTime":1646.34,"body":"And guess what? My dad came to"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1640.37,"endTime":1646.34,"body":"me. I was a child in this"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1646.34,"endTime":1650.69,"body":"vision. And I came out of that"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1646.34,"endTime":1650.69,"body":"meditation very different than I"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1650.69,"endTime":1656.69,"body":"went in. It was a profoundly"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1650.69,"endTime":1656.69,"body":"healing meditation. And the"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1656.69,"endTime":1662.93,"body":"message I received was that I"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1656.69,"endTime":1662.93,"body":"wasn't ready until now. And I"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1662.93,"endTime":1666.47,"body":"did not make this connection"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1662.93,"endTime":1666.47,"body":"until I was editing your"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1666.47,"endTime":1667.1,"body":"episode."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1672.32,"endTime":1680.63,"body":"So what we need to know comes to"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1672.32,"endTime":1680.63,"body":"us in divine timing."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1681.95,"endTime":1686.78,"body":"And that may sound a little Woo."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1681.95,"endTime":1686.78,"body":"And I don't care. Because I'm a"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1686.78,"endTime":1691.67,"body":"little Woo. And I'm not"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1686.78,"endTime":1691.67,"body":"embarrassed. I don't feel weird."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1717.56,"endTime":1723.35,"body":"my dear friend Patsy Kenny she"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1717.56,"endTime":1723.35,"body":"she's at Patsy Kenny are and at"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1723.38,"endTime":1727.49,"body":"and celebrate on Instagram she"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1723.38,"endTime":1727.49,"body":"had interviewed me for she did"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1727.49,"endTime":1731.93,"body":"this project called the gifts to"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1727.49,"endTime":1731.93,"body":"humanity. And my topic was to"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1731.93,"endTime":1737.33,"body":"talk about curiosity. And I love"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1731.93,"endTime":1737.33,"body":"that she chose that for me."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1737.54,"endTime":1741.32,"body":"Because I easily could have"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1737.54,"endTime":1741.32,"body":"spoken about emotion, the gift"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1741.32,"endTime":1742.1,"body":"of emotion."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1744.47,"endTime":1747.47,"body":"Which is a great episode as well"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1744.47,"endTime":1747.47,"body":"with our dear mutual friend"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1747.47,"endTime":1749.27,"body":"Michelle Marsh. But"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1750.86,"endTime":1757.31,"body":"Curiosity has led to so much"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1750.86,"endTime":1757.31,"body":"healing for me. Because when"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1757.31,"endTime":1759.98,"body":"I've been curious about"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1757.31,"endTime":1759.98,"body":"something and I've followed that"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1759.98,"endTime":1766.49,"body":"nudge, it led me to Reiki it led"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1759.98,"endTime":1766.49,"body":"me to grief recovery first. But"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1766.49,"endTime":1771.5,"body":"it led to so many things before"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1766.49,"endTime":1771.5,"body":"that since 2014 when I started"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1771.5,"endTime":1777.89,"body":"this personal development and my"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1771.5,"endTime":1777.89,"body":"own healing. So follow your"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1777.89,"endTime":1783.89,"body":"curiosity. Listen to your"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1777.89,"endTime":1783.89,"body":"nudges, the inner knowing and"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1783.89,"endTime":1787.85,"body":"embrace it. As you know if you"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1783.89,"endTime":1787.85,"body":"are an empath and you feel"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1788.06,"endTime":1794.78,"body":"deeply it's not something to"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1788.06,"endTime":1794.78,"body":"curse in your life, like I did"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1794.78,"endTime":1801.02,"body":"for so long. Embrace it as a"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1794.78,"endTime":1801.02,"body":"gift Thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1801.02,"endTime":1805.82,"body":"listening today. We went deep."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1801.02,"endTime":1805.82,"body":"Like I love like I love doing."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1806.27,"endTime":1810.95,"body":"So I hope you found this"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1806.27,"endTime":1810.95,"body":"episode. Inspiring, insightful,"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1811.01,"endTime":1814.55,"body":"helpful. All the things If you"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1811.01,"endTime":1814.55,"body":"did, please share it with"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1814.55,"endTime":1818.6,"body":"someone you love and care about."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1814.55,"endTime":1818.6,"body":"Or give me five star review,"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1818.63,"endTime":1823.37,"body":"which would be lovely. And it's"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1818.63,"endTime":1823.37,"body":"good karma. It's just good"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1823.37,"endTime":1831.08,"body":"karma. So, thank you again for"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1823.37,"endTime":1831.08,"body":"being here. And remember, when"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1831.08,"endTime":1836.39,"body":"you unleash your heart, you"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1831.08,"endTime":1836.39,"body":"unleash your life. Much love."},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1839.45,"endTime":1843.11,"body":"From my heart to yours, thank"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1839.45,"endTime":1843.11,"body":"you for listening. If you liked"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1843.11,"endTime":1847.73,"body":"this episode, please share it"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1843.11,"endTime":1847.73,"body":"because Sharing is caring. And"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1847.73,"endTime":1851.27,"body":"until next time, give and share"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1847.73,"endTime":1851.27,"body":"compassion by being hurt with"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1851.27,"endTime":1855.41,"body":"yours. And if you're hurting"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1851.27,"endTime":1855.41,"body":"know that what you're feeling is"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1855.41,"endTime":1858.77,"body":"normal and natural. Much love my"},{"speaker":"It was 10","startTime":1855.41,"endTime":1858.77,"body":"friend."}]}