{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.12,"body":"Hello, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.12,"body":"welcome to grieving voices. I am"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":3.12,"endTime":7.05,"body":"your host, Victoria Volk of the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":3.12,"endTime":7.05,"body":"unleashed heart and thank you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":7.05,"endTime":12.63,"body":"for being here. Today, before I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":7.05,"endTime":12.63,"body":"get into the episodes I'm going"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":12.63,"endTime":18.45,"body":"to be talking about, I just want"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":12.63,"endTime":18.45,"body":"to share about an energy quiz"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":18.45,"endTime":21.87,"body":"that I've launched a little"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":18.45,"endTime":21.87,"body":"while back. And if you haven't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":21.87,"endTime":25.29,"body":"gone to my website,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":21.87,"endTime":25.29,"body":"theunleashedheart.com, you can"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":25.29,"endTime":31.68,"body":"find a link for that either on"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":25.29,"endTime":31.68,"body":"the top banner, or it should pop"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":31.68,"endTime":37.26,"body":"up at some point. And it takes"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":31.68,"endTime":37.26,"body":"less than 90 seconds, it has 10"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":37.26,"endTime":43.44,"body":"questions and at the end you'll"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":37.26,"endTime":43.44,"body":"discover your energy type, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":43.8,"endTime":48.06,"body":"what to do with it, and how to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":43.8,"endTime":48.06,"body":"nurture your energy type, what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":48.06,"endTime":52.68,"body":"drains it, all of that stuff. I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":48.06,"endTime":52.68,"body":"think it's a very informative"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":53.25,"endTime":58.71,"body":"quiz, and the results are very"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":53.25,"endTime":58.71,"body":"informative. And I think it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":58.71,"endTime":64.05,"body":"would be beneficial and helpful"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":58.71,"endTime":64.05,"body":"especially for Grievers who"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":64.35,"endTime":68.73,"body":"often feel their energy being"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":64.35,"endTime":68.73,"body":"drained. And so I just wanted to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":68.76,"endTime":72.24,"body":"share about that in case you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":68.76,"endTime":72.24,"body":"have not seen that on my website"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":72.24,"endTime":78.3,"body":"at all or haven't come across it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":72.24,"endTime":78.3,"body":"on social media. Okay, so today"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":78.33,"endTime":83.43,"body":"I'm going to be talking about"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":78.33,"endTime":83.43,"body":"Episode 61 with Rachel Engstrom,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":84.24,"endTime":89.82,"body":"cancer wife, widow and never our"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":84.24,"endTime":89.82,"body":"mother to be and Episode 62 with"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":89.82,"endTime":94.41,"body":"Eric hodgdon, opening the door"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":89.82,"endTime":94.41,"body":"to a parent's worst nightmare."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":95.1,"endTime":100.56,"body":"I'd like to start with Rachel's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":95.1,"endTime":100.56,"body":"episode. And when I'm hearing"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":100.56,"endTime":104.7,"body":"the stories of Grievers who come"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":100.56,"endTime":104.7,"body":"on my podcast, I try to put"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":104.7,"endTime":110.28,"body":"myself in their shoes and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":104.7,"endTime":110.28,"body":"through their story, feel what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":110.28,"endTime":115.26,"body":"that might have been like to go"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":110.28,"endTime":115.26,"body":"through that experience. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":115.26,"endTime":123.87,"body":"what struck me about Rachel's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":115.26,"endTime":123.87,"body":"story is the time that from"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":123.87,"endTime":129.15,"body":"diagnosis until her husband"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":123.87,"endTime":129.15,"body":"passed away and still holding on"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":129.15,"endTime":134.07,"body":"to hope that entire time that he"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":129.15,"endTime":134.07,"body":"would go into remission, and he"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":134.07,"endTime":139.92,"body":"would be healthy again. But we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":134.07,"endTime":139.92,"body":"never really know, do we, when"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":140.19,"endTime":145.89,"body":"our time is up, or when we'll"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":140.19,"endTime":145.89,"body":"receive a diagnosis that could"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":145.89,"endTime":151.62,"body":"drag on for years and years. I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":145.89,"endTime":151.62,"body":"know people who are on dialysis"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":151.71,"endTime":155.82,"body":"who have been on dialysis for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":151.71,"endTime":155.82,"body":"many years for their kidneys."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":156.96,"endTime":171.99,"body":"And it takes a toll on people's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":156.96,"endTime":171.99,"body":"mindset. This is where the human"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":171.99,"endTime":180.6,"body":"spirit is remarkable in adapting"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":171.99,"endTime":180.6,"body":"to our circumstances. Whether"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":180.6,"endTime":185.7,"body":"you're a child who's being"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":180.6,"endTime":185.7,"body":"abused, or an adult who's going"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":185.7,"endTime":191.76,"body":"through a terminal illness, the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":185.7,"endTime":191.76,"body":"human spirit learns to adapt."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":192.63,"endTime":198.6,"body":"And I think we find our"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":192.63,"endTime":198.6,"body":"resourcefulness in times of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":198.6,"endTime":204.33,"body":"struggle and challenge. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":198.6,"endTime":204.33,"body":"that's just what Rachel and her"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":204.33,"endTime":209.28,"body":"husband did. They found their"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":204.33,"endTime":209.28,"body":"resourcefulness and had support"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":209.28,"endTime":213.33,"body":"come in to help them. Her"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":209.28,"endTime":213.33,"body":"parents had lived with them for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":213.36,"endTime":219.39,"body":"quite some time during that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":213.36,"endTime":219.39,"body":"period. And I just imagine that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":220.26,"endTime":223.62,"body":"had they had kids at that time,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":220.26,"endTime":223.62,"body":"that would have been even more"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":223.62,"endTime":227.97,"body":"helpful. And I think we get so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":223.62,"endTime":227.97,"body":"scared to ask for help and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":227.97,"endTime":232.77,"body":"support. In those times, we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":227.97,"endTime":232.77,"body":"think we can do it all, or we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":232.77,"endTime":237.39,"body":"should be doing it all. I think"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":232.77,"endTime":237.39,"body":"especially as mothers and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":237.39,"endTime":242.97,"body":"nurtures, we think we should be"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":237.39,"endTime":242.97,"body":"doing it all. And I personally"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":243.33,"endTime":248.88,"body":"had many challenging times"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":243.33,"endTime":248.88,"body":"asking for help and support of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":248.88,"endTime":255.42,"body":"others. And I'm only learning"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":248.88,"endTime":255.42,"body":"now in my later years that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":255.93,"endTime":261.93,"body":"support is really where it's at."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":255.93,"endTime":261.93,"body":"Whether it's in grief, in our"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":261.93,"endTime":270.66,"body":"grief or in our businesses, just"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":261.93,"endTime":270.66,"body":"bringing on support in and help"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":270.69,"endTime":276.69,"body":"which I did this year which has"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":270.69,"endTime":276.69,"body":"been incredible. So I think that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":276.69,"endTime":282.75,"body":"is probably one of the lessons"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":276.69,"endTime":282.75,"body":"that I've learned in my grief"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":282.75,"endTime":287.25,"body":"recovery and talking with other"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":282.75,"endTime":287.25,"body":"gravers and hearing their"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":287.25,"endTime":292.98,"body":"stories, is that it's in the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":287.25,"endTime":292.98,"body":"support that you find your own"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":292.98,"endTime":296.37,"body":"strength in a lot of ways"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":292.98,"endTime":296.37,"body":"because when you are able to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":296.94,"endTime":299.13,"body":"take a break, when you are able"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":296.94,"endTime":299.13,"body":"to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":301.25,"endTime":307.22,"body":"just step back for a moment that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":301.25,"endTime":307.22,"body":"can help to recharge your own"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":307.22,"endTime":313.22,"body":"battery and tackle the next day."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":307.22,"endTime":313.22,"body":"So I think that's a huge"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":313.28,"endTime":317.54,"body":"takeaway in Rachel's episode,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":313.28,"endTime":317.54,"body":"and in many episodes, but I just"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":317.54,"endTime":321.98,"body":"wanted to highlight that it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":317.54,"endTime":321.98,"body":"important to ask for support,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":322.31,"endTime":327.59,"body":"and whatever that looks like for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":322.31,"endTime":327.59,"body":"you. I love this one line to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":327.59,"endTime":332.9,"body":"where a friend of hers had told"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":327.59,"endTime":332.9,"body":"her you can choose to be bitter"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":332.9,"endTime":338.0,"body":"or better. And that was kind of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":332.9,"endTime":338.0,"body":"a turning point for her. She"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":338.0,"endTime":340.55,"body":"didn't want to be bitter"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":338.0,"endTime":340.55,"body":"anymore, she wanted to be"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":340.55,"endTime":346.61,"body":"better. And after her husband's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":340.55,"endTime":346.61,"body":"passing, started to pick up the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":346.61,"endTime":353.39,"body":"pieces, and really wanted to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":346.61,"endTime":353.39,"body":"find some meaning in her"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":353.39,"endTime":359.03,"body":"experience and ended up writing"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":353.39,"endTime":359.03,"body":"the book: wife, widow now what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":359.06,"endTime":364.67,"body":"how I navigated the cancer world"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":359.06,"endTime":364.67,"body":"and how you can too. And I've"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":364.7,"endTime":371.15,"body":"talked to many Grievers who,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":364.7,"endTime":371.15,"body":"through their stories, through"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":371.15,"endTime":380.18,"body":"their experiences, you want to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":371.15,"endTime":380.18,"body":"find meaning for what you've"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":380.18,"endTime":386.57,"body":"gone through, you want to make"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":380.18,"endTime":386.57,"body":"something of it. And that's been"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":386.6,"endTime":392.3,"body":"really a common thread. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":386.6,"endTime":392.3,"body":"also, among all of the guests"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":392.3,"endTime":396.95,"body":"that I've had, whether that's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":392.3,"endTime":396.95,"body":"helping others, or in a quiet"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":396.95,"endTime":400.82,"body":"way, it doesn't have to be"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":396.95,"endTime":400.82,"body":"writing a book or it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":400.82,"endTime":405.47,"body":"have to be becoming a grief"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":400.82,"endTime":405.47,"body":"recovery specialist. It can just"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":405.47,"endTime":410.87,"body":"be a more compassionate friend,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":405.47,"endTime":410.87,"body":"or spouse or what have you."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":411.65,"endTime":415.76,"body":"Because I do believe that the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":411.65,"endTime":415.76,"body":"more challenging experiences of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":415.76,"endTime":420.62,"body":"our lives have the ability to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":415.76,"endTime":420.62,"body":"make us more compassionate"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":420.62,"endTime":427.4,"body":"people towards others. And after"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":420.62,"endTime":427.4,"body":"a year in of this podcast and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":427.4,"endTime":431.42,"body":"listening to people's stories,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":427.4,"endTime":431.42,"body":"the other tip I would give to as"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":431.42,"endTime":435.26,"body":"the quickest turnaround to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":431.42,"endTime":435.26,"body":"feeling better is to helping"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":435.26,"endTime":439.97,"body":"others. And that was really a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":435.26,"endTime":439.97,"body":"turning point for me personally"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":439.97,"endTime":444.23,"body":"as well. And that's been"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":439.97,"endTime":444.23,"body":"Rachel's work as well. She's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":444.23,"endTime":448.1,"body":"really been an advocate for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":444.23,"endTime":448.1,"body":"acute lymphoblastic leukemia"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":448.1,"endTime":452.6,"body":"and, and really just cancer in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":448.1,"endTime":452.6,"body":"general she's really tried to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":452.6,"endTime":458.15,"body":"raise awareness and money as"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":452.6,"endTime":458.15,"body":"well. So there are many people"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":458.15,"endTime":462.62,"body":"doing amazing things in this"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":458.15,"endTime":462.62,"body":"world because of the challenges"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":462.62,"endTime":467.27,"body":"they've experienced. And Rachel"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":462.62,"endTime":467.27,"body":"is one of them. There is another"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":467.27,"endTime":473.63,"body":"aspect of Rachel story I want to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":467.27,"endTime":473.63,"body":"share in that what if someone in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":473.93,"endTime":477.44,"body":"your with whom you are in a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":473.93,"endTime":477.44,"body":"relationship with is diagnosed"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":477.44,"endTime":482.54,"body":"with a terminal illness, and you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":477.44,"endTime":482.54,"body":"are, let's say the significant"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":482.54,"endTime":487.13,"body":"other but it's been a less than"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":482.54,"endTime":487.13,"body":"loving relationship. You're"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":487.13,"endTime":490.58,"body":"probably going to experience a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":487.13,"endTime":490.58,"body":"lot of conflicting feelings"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":490.58,"endTime":494.06,"body":"about that. There's a part of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":490.58,"endTime":494.06,"body":"you that feels like you should"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":494.12,"endTime":500.18,"body":"help that person, you should be"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":494.12,"endTime":500.18,"body":"there for them till death do you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":500.18,"endTime":505.43,"body":"part, you would want the same"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":500.18,"endTime":505.43,"body":"for yourself, you would want"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":505.43,"endTime":509.39,"body":"that person to help you if it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":505.43,"endTime":509.39,"body":"were you or support you if it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":509.39,"endTime":514.28,"body":"was you that was diagnosed with"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":509.39,"endTime":514.28,"body":"a terminal illness. But truly,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":514.28,"endTime":518.9,"body":"if it's a less than loving"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":514.28,"endTime":518.9,"body":"relationship, I can see where"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":518.99,"endTime":523.46,"body":"during Rachel's episode she had"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":518.99,"endTime":523.46,"body":"mentioned that one of the nurses"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":523.46,"endTime":528.98,"body":"had told her that 70% of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":523.46,"endTime":528.98,"body":"marriages or couples separate"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":528.98,"endTime":535.46,"body":"during cancer. And that struck"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":528.98,"endTime":535.46,"body":"me but in all honesty, it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":535.46,"endTime":539.24,"body":"doesn't surprise me because I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":535.46,"endTime":539.24,"body":"think there are a lot of less"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":539.24,"endTime":542.87,"body":"than loving relationships out"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":539.24,"endTime":542.87,"body":"there. I think there are many"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":542.87,"endTime":549.5,"body":"people who get into relationship"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":542.87,"endTime":549.5,"body":"who haven't healed their own"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":549.5,"endTime":554.69,"body":"wounds. And so you have two"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":549.5,"endTime":554.69,"body":"people that come together with"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":554.72,"endTime":564.17,"body":"their wounds, not healed"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":554.72,"endTime":564.17,"body":"emotional wounds. The other"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":564.17,"endTime":569.87,"body":"person can be someone who's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":564.17,"endTime":569.87,"body":"either going to help you evolve"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":570.35,"endTime":575.57,"body":"and grow and challenge you to do"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":570.35,"endTime":575.57,"body":"that and maybe in hopefully you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":575.57,"endTime":581.66,"body":"do that together. Or you can be"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":575.57,"endTime":581.66,"body":"like the child that picks the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":581.66,"endTime":588.62,"body":"scab and you can do that for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":581.66,"endTime":588.62,"body":"each other where it's just kind"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":588.62,"endTime":594.17,"body":"of a toxic thing. It's you don't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":588.62,"endTime":594.17,"body":"know how to be with someone"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":594.17,"endTime":594.8,"body":"else."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":596.55,"endTime":602.13,"body":"As long as you have this wounded"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":596.55,"endTime":602.13,"body":"inner child in you. And I think"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":602.13,"endTime":608.7,"body":"we're just all walking wounded"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":602.13,"endTime":608.7,"body":"inner children, as adults, until"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":608.7,"endTime":614.85,"body":"we recognize that our past and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":608.7,"endTime":614.85,"body":"the behaviors that we resort to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":614.85,"endTime":620.55,"body":"as adults, and the problems we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":614.85,"endTime":620.55,"body":"see in our lives, that are"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":620.76,"endTime":625.35,"body":"usually repetitive. We find"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":620.76,"endTime":625.35,"body":"ourselves in the same bad"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":625.35,"endTime":629.34,"body":"relationships or you find"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":625.35,"endTime":629.34,"body":"yourself with the same cycle of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":629.37,"endTime":635.34,"body":"money issues time after time, or"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":629.37,"endTime":635.34,"body":"you find yourself abusing"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":635.4,"endTime":641.82,"body":"different substances, different"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":635.4,"endTime":641.82,"body":"stage of life. These are the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":641.82,"endTime":649.47,"body":"things that are still there,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":641.82,"endTime":649.47,"body":"when you get into relationship"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":649.47,"endTime":653.4,"body":"with someone, marry someone,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":649.47,"endTime":653.4,"body":"unless you can recognize and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":653.4,"endTime":659.01,"body":"have that awareness of what your"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":653.4,"endTime":659.01,"body":"issues are, and you work through"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":659.01,"endTime":663.63,"body":"them either together as a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":659.01,"endTime":663.63,"body":"couple, to grow through it. Or"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":663.63,"endTime":669.21,"body":"you work on that beforehand,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":663.63,"endTime":669.21,"body":"which I highly recommend. I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":669.21,"endTime":672.81,"body":"would recommend to anybody who"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":669.21,"endTime":672.81,"body":"is thinking about getting"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":672.81,"endTime":677.04,"body":"married, to go through grief"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":672.81,"endTime":677.04,"body":"recovery. You know, they have"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":677.04,"endTime":682.08,"body":"these pre-marriage classes and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":677.04,"endTime":682.08,"body":"things. But I think that the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":682.08,"endTime":686.28,"body":"most significant thing that you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":682.08,"endTime":686.28,"body":"can do for your future and your"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":686.37,"endTime":693.33,"body":"future life with someone is to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":686.37,"endTime":693.33,"body":"work on your own crap. And I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":693.33,"endTime":700.59,"body":"think that that's what grief"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":693.33,"endTime":700.59,"body":"recovery offers. It's a gift to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":700.59,"endTime":705.75,"body":"you. But you have to be willing"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":700.59,"endTime":705.75,"body":"to do the work, of course, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":705.75,"endTime":709.17,"body":"many people are not. And it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":705.75,"endTime":709.17,"body":"just where you're at at the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":709.17,"endTime":715.86,"body":"time. So you look for someone"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":709.17,"endTime":715.86,"body":"else to heal those wounds for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":715.86,"endTime":718.71,"body":"you, you looked for someone else"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":715.86,"endTime":718.71,"body":"to give you the love that you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":718.71,"endTime":722.19,"body":"should be giving yourself. And I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":718.71,"endTime":722.19,"body":"could go on a tangent right now,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":722.19,"endTime":729.81,"body":"but I'm not, I just wanted to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":722.19,"endTime":729.81,"body":"highlight how can it be that in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":729.81,"endTime":735.87,"body":"a terminal diagnosis, couples"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":729.81,"endTime":735.87,"body":"can just shatter. And I believe"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":735.87,"endTime":743.22,"body":"that's why it's the straw that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":735.87,"endTime":743.22,"body":"breaks the camel's back. There"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":743.22,"endTime":751.77,"body":"is such a level of intimacy and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":743.22,"endTime":751.77,"body":"struggle for the person that is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":751.77,"endTime":755.58,"body":"both the supporter and the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":751.77,"endTime":755.58,"body":"caregiver, but also the person"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":755.58,"endTime":762.66,"body":"who is the one that is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":755.58,"endTime":762.66,"body":"diagnosed. It's reckoning, it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":762.69,"endTime":768.78,"body":"an awakening. I've never been"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":762.69,"endTime":768.78,"body":"diagnosed with cancer, but I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":768.78,"endTime":775.56,"body":"imagine it is a great awakener."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":768.78,"endTime":775.56,"body":"And it's grief, it is grief."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":775.89,"endTime":780.54,"body":"Imagine the grief that it causes"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":775.89,"endTime":780.54,"body":"someone to just have learned"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":781.41,"endTime":791.76,"body":"while you have six months to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":781.41,"endTime":791.76,"body":"live. It is capable of knocking"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":791.82,"endTime":796.68,"body":"the wind out of the sails and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":791.82,"endTime":796.68,"body":"sinking the heart of even the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":796.68,"endTime":803.16,"body":"strongest person you know. And I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":796.68,"endTime":803.16,"body":"do think that how you've handled"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":803.16,"endTime":807.6,"body":"challenges in your life before"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":803.16,"endTime":807.6,"body":"that experience or before that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":807.6,"endTime":815.46,"body":"diagnosis is a precursor to how"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":807.6,"endTime":815.46,"body":"you handle the harder stuff that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":815.46,"endTime":824.04,"body":"comes your way. And maybe"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":815.46,"endTime":824.04,"body":"thinking about how you've done"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":824.04,"endTime":827.61,"body":"that in the past, how have you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":824.04,"endTime":827.61,"body":"handled challenging parts of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":827.61,"endTime":836.28,"body":"your life in the past. And do"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":827.61,"endTime":836.28,"body":"you want to be emotionally"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":836.28,"endTime":839.37,"body":"prepared? and I don't even know"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":836.28,"endTime":839.37,"body":"that anything can really prepare"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":839.37,"endTime":844.68,"body":"you to be honest, I don't think"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":839.37,"endTime":844.68,"body":"anything can. Nothing can for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":844.68,"endTime":851.4,"body":"this life altering diagnosis,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":844.68,"endTime":851.4,"body":"these changes, or these big"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":851.4,"endTime":855.0,"body":"losses that we experienced, like"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":851.4,"endTime":855.0,"body":"I'll talk about next with Eric"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":855.0,"endTime":860.58,"body":"story, nothing can prepare you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":855.0,"endTime":860.58,"body":"for that. But I do feel there"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":860.58,"endTime":866.1,"body":"are tools out there that can"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":860.58,"endTime":866.1,"body":"help to support you in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":866.22,"endTime":873.33,"body":"discerning what it is you need"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":866.22,"endTime":873.33,"body":"and helping you to become your"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":873.33,"endTime":880.14,"body":"best advocate for yourself. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":873.33,"endTime":880.14,"body":"we will learn those things by"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":880.2,"endTime":883.5,"body":"digging deep into ourselves. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":880.2,"endTime":883.5,"body":"also"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":884.77,"endTime":888.76,"body":"I want to say that the worst"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":884.77,"endTime":888.76,"body":"thing is always what happened to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":888.76,"endTime":894.01,"body":"you because no matter what, you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":888.76,"endTime":894.01,"body":"will always experience it at"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":894.04,"endTime":897.82,"body":"100%. There are no half Grievers"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":894.04,"endTime":897.82,"body":"out there. So just keep that in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":897.82,"endTime":903.58,"body":"mind. So please check out"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":897.82,"endTime":903.58,"body":"Rachel's Episode 61: Life as a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":903.58,"endTime":907.15,"body":"Cancer Wife, Widow and Never a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":903.58,"endTime":907.15,"body":"Mother-to-Be because there's so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":907.15,"endTime":910.87,"body":"much more to her story than I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":907.15,"endTime":910.87,"body":"even covered here today. But I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":910.87,"endTime":914.59,"body":"do like to keep these takeaways"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":910.87,"endTime":914.59,"body":"episodes kind of brief, there is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":914.59,"endTime":917.8,"body":"definitely more to his story. So"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":914.59,"endTime":917.8,"body":"I hope you take a listen. Now"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":917.8,"endTime":921.67,"body":"I'd like to share my takeaways"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":917.8,"endTime":921.67,"body":"from Episode 62 with Eric"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":921.67,"endTime":925.9,"body":"hodgdon, Opening the Door to a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":921.67,"endTime":925.9,"body":"Parent's Worst Nightmare. In"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":925.9,"endTime":931.51,"body":"2014, his 15 year-old daughter,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":925.9,"endTime":931.51,"body":"Zoey, had taken her own life."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":932.11,"endTime":937.54,"body":"And as he shared the story of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":932.11,"endTime":937.54,"body":"how he learned about how that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":937.54,"endTime":945.52,"body":"was done, I listened so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":937.54,"endTime":945.52,"body":"intently. And I could visualize"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":945.67,"endTime":952.9,"body":"the story, I could visualize the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":945.67,"endTime":952.9,"body":"moment as he was telling me, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":953.65,"endTime":960.16,"body":"it literally broke my heart. I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":953.65,"endTime":960.16,"body":"have a 16 year-old, a 14"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":960.31,"endTime":967.84,"body":"year-old, and a 12 year-old, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":960.31,"endTime":967.84,"body":"just even thinking about it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":969.04,"endTime":973.15,"body":"makes my eyes welled up. I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":969.04,"endTime":973.15,"body":"cannot imagine that is why I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":973.15,"endTime":981.43,"body":"titled his episode, which I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":973.15,"endTime":981.43,"body":"struggled with, on what to title"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":981.43,"endTime":989.77,"body":"it, but it really came to me,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":981.43,"endTime":989.77,"body":"that would be any parent's worst"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":989.77,"endTime":993.94,"body":"nightmare. It would just be your"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":989.77,"endTime":993.94,"body":"worst nightmare. Doesn't matter"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":993.94,"endTime":997.09,"body":"how it happened, but just"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":993.94,"endTime":997.09,"body":"stepping into your child's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":997.09,"endTime":1002.58,"body":"bedroom, expecting them to be in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":997.09,"endTime":1002.58,"body":"their bed, asleep, or falling"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1002.58,"endTime":1008.91,"body":"asleep. And just the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1002.58,"endTime":1008.91,"body":"unimaginable instead, is what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1008.91,"endTime":1021.69,"body":"you find. It truly hurts my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1008.91,"endTime":1021.69,"body":"heart. So it was a difficult"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1021.69,"endTime":1028.32,"body":"episode for me to listen back"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1021.69,"endTime":1028.32,"body":"when I had to edit it. But it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1028.32,"endTime":1032.88,"body":"so important for me that I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1028.32,"endTime":1032.88,"body":"personally edit my episodes"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1032.88,"endTime":1039.9,"body":"because well one, it's usually a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1032.88,"endTime":1039.9,"body":"few months from editing. I'm"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1039.9,"endTime":1043.14,"body":"usually a few months out in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1039.9,"endTime":1043.14,"body":"editing from when we initially"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1043.14,"endTime":1047.04,"body":"record. And so I feel like I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1043.14,"endTime":1047.04,"body":"need to hear it again in order"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1047.04,"endTime":1054.63,"body":"to freshen up on the story and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1047.04,"endTime":1054.63,"body":"avoid it to be able to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1054.66,"endTime":1061.77,"body":"articulate what it is that I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1054.66,"endTime":1061.77,"body":"felt when I first heard it. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1062.37,"endTime":1066.09,"body":"to hear it a second time because"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1062.37,"endTime":1066.09,"body":"I hear every Grievers story a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1066.09,"endTime":1073.83,"body":"second time when I go to edit. I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1066.09,"endTime":1073.83,"body":"walk away from editing, just"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1073.86,"endTime":1081.48,"body":"amazed with the tenacity of the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1073.86,"endTime":1081.48,"body":"human spirit. We can endure so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1081.48,"endTime":1087.0,"body":"much more than I believe we give"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1081.48,"endTime":1087.0,"body":"ourselves credit for. But in the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1087.0,"endTime":1093.06,"body":"moment, and the moment of that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1087.0,"endTime":1093.06,"body":"deep despair and sorrow. It's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1093.06,"endTime":1099.3,"body":"really hard to see three? five?"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1093.06,"endTime":1099.3,"body":"ten? years into the future,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1099.3,"endTime":1107.97,"body":"maybe even tomorrow. And this is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1099.3,"endTime":1107.97,"body":"why I'm loving in doing this"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1107.97,"endTime":1114.51,"body":"podcast so much, that the people"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1107.97,"endTime":1114.51,"body":"who come on this podcast brings"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1114.54,"endTime":1120.54,"body":"hope to other Grievers. But"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1114.54,"endTime":1120.54,"body":"here's the thing, if you were"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1120.54,"endTime":1129.39,"body":"listening to this podcast, that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1120.54,"endTime":1129.39,"body":"is you too. That is you because"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1129.39,"endTime":1133.35,"body":"you can take so much more than I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1129.39,"endTime":1133.35,"body":"think you give yourself credit"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1133.35,"endTime":1140.31,"body":"for. There comes a time where"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1133.35,"endTime":1140.31,"body":"you can only take so much. And I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1140.31,"endTime":1145.83,"body":"think that's when most people"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1140.31,"endTime":1145.83,"body":"seek out help and support. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1145.83,"endTime":1149.22,"body":"I'll come back to the first part"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1145.83,"endTime":1149.22,"body":"of this episode where I talked"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1149.22,"endTime":1156.15,"body":"about support and help and how"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1149.22,"endTime":1156.15,"body":"important it is. But for Eric,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1156.36,"endTime":1164.4,"body":"and for many gravers, it does"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1156.36,"endTime":1164.4,"body":"take having this moment within"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1164.4,"endTime":1174.57,"body":"ourselves,  I meant for more"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1164.4,"endTime":1174.57,"body":"than this. My life is more than"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1174.57,"endTime":1180.06,"body":"this, more than this sorrow,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1174.57,"endTime":1180.06,"body":"more than this anger and more"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1180.06,"endTime":1180.96,"body":"than this pain."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1183.45,"endTime":1189.66,"body":"I want my life to be fruitful"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1183.45,"endTime":1189.66,"body":"and thrive. I want to thrive and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1189.66,"endTime":1196.77,"body":"I want to make something out of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1189.66,"endTime":1196.77,"body":"this crap that I've been handed."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1198.93,"endTime":1201.75,"body":"I do think there are many have"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1198.93,"endTime":1201.75,"body":"us that come to that place to."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1204.72,"endTime":1208.98,"body":"And unfortunately, there are"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1204.72,"endTime":1208.98,"body":"many who stay in that place of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1208.98,"endTime":1216.66,"body":"sorrow and pain. And feel like"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1208.98,"endTime":1216.66,"body":"this is just how it is. This is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1216.66,"endTime":1221.82,"body":"just what life is going to be."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1216.66,"endTime":1221.82,"body":"This is my new normal, they say"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1221.82,"endTime":1226.98,"body":"now but it doesn't have to be."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1221.82,"endTime":1226.98,"body":"You have so much power of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1226.98,"endTime":1232.14,"body":"choice. You don't even probably"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1226.98,"endTime":1232.14,"body":"realize it because grief does"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1232.14,"endTime":1237.81,"body":"make us feel like we don't have"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1232.14,"endTime":1237.81,"body":"a choice. But we do. You do, you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1237.81,"endTime":1242.07,"body":"do have a choice. And that's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1237.81,"endTime":1242.07,"body":"what Eric talks a lot about in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1242.07,"endTime":1247.56,"body":"his episode. There was a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1242.07,"endTime":1247.56,"body":"defining moment where you felt"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1247.56,"endTime":1251.16,"body":"like he heard Zoi's voice. He"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1247.56,"endTime":1251.16,"body":"did. He said he heard Zoi's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1251.16,"endTime":1255.96,"body":"voice. And she was in so many"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1251.16,"endTime":1255.96,"body":"words, I'm just paraphrasing,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1255.96,"endTime":1264.27,"body":"but just like \"snap out of it,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1255.96,"endTime":1264.27,"body":"Dad, snap out of it.\". And when"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1264.27,"endTime":1269.73,"body":"we are so deep in it, it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1264.27,"endTime":1269.73,"body":"really hard for us to do that."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1271.77,"endTime":1278.4,"body":"Sometimes it's a prayer that you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1271.77,"endTime":1278.4,"body":"just say out loud. And something"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1278.4,"endTime":1283.77,"body":"happens within you, something"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1278.4,"endTime":1283.77,"body":"turns within you, something"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1283.77,"endTime":1291.93,"body":"flips. And that's really when my"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1283.77,"endTime":1291.93,"body":"life kind of flipped, when I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1291.93,"endTime":1297.9,"body":"finally surrendered. And I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1291.93,"endTime":1297.9,"body":"started to pray. To be honest, I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1297.9,"endTime":1304.59,"body":"hadn't stepped in a church and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1297.9,"endTime":1304.59,"body":"many, many years. And it happens"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1304.59,"endTime":1310.05,"body":"differently for everybody. It"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1304.59,"endTime":1310.05,"body":"doesn't happen for everybody, of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1310.05,"endTime":1314.37,"body":"course, because there are many"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1310.05,"endTime":1314.37,"body":"Grievers out there who are still"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1314.37,"endTime":1318.96,"body":"feeling hopeless. Again, that's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1314.37,"endTime":1318.96,"body":"the premise of this whole"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1318.96,"endTime":1322.98,"body":"podcast, to bring hope to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1318.96,"endTime":1322.98,"body":"people. I think it's fitting"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1322.98,"endTime":1328.08,"body":"that he titled his book, A"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1322.98,"endTime":1328.08,"body":"Sherpa named Zoi. And it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1328.08,"endTime":1334.5,"body":"because of what he has learned"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1328.08,"endTime":1334.5,"body":"about himself through her, and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1334.5,"endTime":1338.34,"body":"through that experience. And not"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1334.5,"endTime":1338.34,"body":"to mention what he also learned"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1338.34,"endTime":1341.58,"body":"about Zoi herself through"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1338.34,"endTime":1341.58,"body":"stories that people shared with"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1341.58,"endTime":1348.0,"body":"him after her passing. So we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1341.58,"endTime":1348.0,"body":"have an impact on people. And we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1348.0,"endTime":1350.85,"body":"often just never realize it. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1348.0,"endTime":1350.85,"body":"that was one of the things Eric"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1350.85,"endTime":1354.9,"body":"and I talked about. And it's so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1350.85,"endTime":1354.9,"body":"unfortunate that we don't feel"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1354.9,"endTime":1358.41,"body":"like we can share with other"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1354.9,"endTime":1358.41,"body":"people while we're alive and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1358.41,"endTime":1363.18,"body":"well, how much that person means"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1358.41,"endTime":1363.18,"body":"to us, or how much impact they"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1363.18,"endTime":1367.59,"body":"have in our lives, or they have"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1363.18,"endTime":1367.59,"body":"had on our lives. And just"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1367.59,"endTime":1370.53,"body":"feeling this gratitude and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1367.59,"endTime":1370.53,"body":"expressing it for what they"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1370.53,"endTime":1373.83,"body":"bring to our lives and what they"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1370.53,"endTime":1373.83,"body":"mean to us and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1375.46,"endTime":1378.61,"body":"being grateful for the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1375.46,"endTime":1378.61,"body":"connection itself, because we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1378.61,"endTime":1385.12,"body":"are beings that thrive on"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1378.61,"endTime":1385.12,"body":"connection. And again, it comes"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1385.12,"endTime":1389.5,"body":"back to the support and feeling"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1385.12,"endTime":1389.5,"body":"supported. And there's so many"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1389.5,"endTime":1394.36,"body":"people who I know, that walk"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1389.5,"endTime":1394.36,"body":"throughout their lives and don't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1394.36,"endTime":1399.7,"body":"feel supported. And I can offer"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1394.36,"endTime":1399.7,"body":"my support in a thousand"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1399.7,"endTime":1404.14,"body":"different ways. But as a person,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1399.7,"endTime":1404.14,"body":"they don't feel it within"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1404.14,"endTime":1410.41,"body":"themselves. That's a really"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1404.14,"endTime":1410.41,"body":"unfortunate space to be in. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1410.41,"endTime":1414.58,"body":"I think a lot of it comes down"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1410.41,"endTime":1414.58,"body":"to trust. We also have to trust"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1414.91,"endTime":1418.75,"body":"that we are supported. It has to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1414.91,"endTime":1418.75,"body":"come within us first before we"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1418.75,"endTime":1423.88,"body":"can feel it from other people."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1418.75,"endTime":1423.88,"body":"And that's what so many things,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1424.06,"endTime":1429.55,"body":"obviously, love, connection. If"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1424.06,"endTime":1429.55,"body":"we're feeling disconnected from"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1429.55,"endTime":1434.08,"body":"ourselves, which often happens"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1429.55,"endTime":1434.08,"body":"in grief, how can we then feel"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1434.08,"endTime":1438.85,"body":"connected with others. Feeling"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1434.08,"endTime":1438.85,"body":"really begins when when we start"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1438.85,"endTime":1443.08,"body":"with that self exploration, when"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1438.85,"endTime":1443.08,"body":"it comes to grief, and want to"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1443.08,"endTime":1445.84,"body":"share a quote that Eric had"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1443.08,"endTime":1445.84,"body":"shared during the podcast"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1445.84,"endTime":1449.14,"body":"episode. And he said, \"just"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1445.84,"endTime":1449.14,"body":"because your loved one lost"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1449.14,"endTime":1452.86,"body":"their life doesn't mean your"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1449.14,"endTime":1452.86,"body":"life is lost, too.\" And I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1452.86,"endTime":1457.72,"body":"thought that was such a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1452.86,"endTime":1457.72,"body":"beautiful, poignant thing. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1458.38,"endTime":1462.37,"body":"it's true. And that's easy for"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1458.38,"endTime":1462.37,"body":"me to say that it's true,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1462.4,"endTime":1465.7,"body":"because I haven't lived that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1462.4,"endTime":1465.7,"body":"experience. So don't take it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1465.7,"endTime":1470.2,"body":"from me take it from Eric, who's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1465.7,"endTime":1470.2,"body":"lived it. He's lived that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1470.2,"endTime":1475.3,"body":"experience. And many guests on"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1470.2,"endTime":1475.3,"body":"this podcast have lived through"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1475.78,"endTime":1482.5,"body":"terrible experiences. And if"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1475.78,"endTime":1482.5,"body":"they would have settled for the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1482.5,"endTime":1487.18,"body":"fact that their life was lost"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1482.5,"endTime":1487.18,"body":"too, their gifts that they could"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1487.18,"endTime":1491.26,"body":"have given the world wouldn't be"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1487.18,"endTime":1491.26,"body":"out there. So let that settle in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1491.26,"endTime":1494.74,"body":"a minute. And just think about"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1491.26,"endTime":1494.74,"body":"what your hopes and dreams were"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1494.89,"endTime":1499.0,"body":"before grief, before loss that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1494.89,"endTime":1499.0,"body":"you've endured. What were they"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1499.0,"endTime":1503.47,"body":"before? They're still there,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1499.0,"endTime":1503.47,"body":"there's still life left to live."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1503.5,"endTime":1507.16,"body":"And I hope that Eric's story"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1503.5,"endTime":1507.16,"body":"gives you hope that it's still"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1507.16,"endTime":1511.96,"body":"possible to move forward. I hope"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1507.16,"endTime":1511.96,"body":"Rachel story gives you hope that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1511.96,"endTime":1516.04,"body":"it's still possible to create a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1511.96,"endTime":1516.04,"body":"life that you love, even if it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1516.04,"endTime":1520.33,"body":"the love you lost, even if it's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1516.04,"endTime":1520.33,"body":"your child, Eric has become an"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1520.72,"endTime":1528.28,"body":"amazing mentor and leader in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1520.72,"endTime":1528.28,"body":"helping others really find their"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1528.28,"endTime":1531.79,"body":"own strength through their"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1528.28,"endTime":1531.79,"body":"struggle. And so I encourage you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1531.79,"endTime":1537.67,"body":"to check out his website, you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1531.79,"endTime":1537.67,"body":"can find it at erichodgdon.com."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1545.5,"endTime":1549.64,"body":"And I think just looking at his"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1545.5,"endTime":1549.64,"body":"website, you'll feel that he"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1550.15,"endTime":1555.76,"body":"really made something out of"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1550.15,"endTime":1555.76,"body":"this tragic, terrible loss that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1555.76,"endTime":1560.89,"body":"he's experienced. And there are"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1555.76,"endTime":1560.89,"body":"so many tips too that he walks"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1560.89,"endTime":1567.01,"body":"through on our podcast episode."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1560.89,"endTime":1567.01,"body":"He talked about the pressure"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1567.01,"endTime":1571.12,"body":"that teens feel today and shared"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1567.01,"endTime":1571.12,"body":"tips around that, as well as"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1571.12,"endTime":1577.66,"body":"being a parent of a teen. It"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1571.12,"endTime":1577.66,"body":"really was a great, great"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1577.66,"endTime":1582.49,"body":"conversation. So I hope you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1577.66,"endTime":1582.49,"body":"check it out. And I do hope,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1582.49,"endTime":1590.95,"body":"again, that you find hope in"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1582.49,"endTime":1590.95,"body":"through their stories. Like Eric"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1590.95,"endTime":1596.59,"body":"said, gratitude played a huge"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1590.95,"endTime":1596.59,"body":"role in what he was experiencing"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1596.62,"endTime":1601.51,"body":"when he was deep in his sorrow."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1596.62,"endTime":1601.51,"body":"And he had to constantly remind"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1601.51,"endTime":1608.26,"body":"himself that gratitude of what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1601.51,"endTime":1608.26,"body":"is in my life right now. And so"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1608.26,"endTime":1611.98,"body":"that is the question for you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1608.26,"endTime":1611.98,"body":"today, what is in your life"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1611.98,"endTime":1616.93,"body":"right now that you can just feel"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1611.98,"endTime":1616.93,"body":"so grateful for? of what is"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1617.11,"endTime":1623.05,"body":"today in your life. And it was"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1617.11,"endTime":1623.05,"body":"thanks to him, actually, that he"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1623.05,"endTime":1626.71,"body":"shared about the Five Minute"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1623.05,"endTime":1626.71,"body":"Journal, and I've now been using"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1626.71,"endTime":1633.79,"body":"it for three months. I love it,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1626.71,"endTime":1633.79,"body":"I absolutely love it. It's"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1633.79,"endTime":1638.74,"body":"become part of my morning"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1633.79,"endTime":1638.74,"body":"regimen. And I highly recommend"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1638.74,"endTime":1644.8,"body":"it. And I do link to that in the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1638.74,"endTime":1644.8,"body":"show notes of Episode 62 of his"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1644.8,"endTime":1651.04,"body":"episode, and I will link to it"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1644.8,"endTime":1651.04,"body":"here as well. So and as well as"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1651.04,"endTime":1655.39,"body":"to the episodes, both 61 and 62."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1651.04,"endTime":1655.39,"body":"You'll also find in the show"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1655.39,"endTime":1659.68,"body":"notes, and I, again, encourage"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1655.39,"endTime":1659.68,"body":"you to listen to those. So"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1660.98,"endTime":1663.77,"body":"thank you so much for listening"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1660.98,"endTime":1663.77,"body":"to today's takeaways and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1663.77,"endTime":1668.72,"body":"reflections episode. Again, I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1663.77,"endTime":1668.72,"body":"remind you about the energy quiz"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1668.72,"endTime":1671.81,"body":"that I shared about the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1668.72,"endTime":1671.81,"body":"beginning. If you haven't"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1671.81,"endTime":1674.72,"body":"checked it out, it's on my you"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1671.81,"endTime":1674.72,"body":"can find the link on my website."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1675.35,"endTime":1680.84,"body":"It's a quick 10 question, less"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1675.35,"endTime":1680.84,"body":"than two minutes, you'll have a"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1680.84,"endTime":1686.87,"body":"PDF that you can resource that"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1680.84,"endTime":1686.87,"body":"you can use to figure out what"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1686.87,"endTime":1689.72,"body":"nurtures and what drains your"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1686.87,"endTime":1689.72,"body":"energy, what your energy type"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1689.72,"endTime":1697.61,"body":"is. And I just am really proud"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1689.72,"endTime":1697.61,"body":"of what I created with that. And"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1697.61,"endTime":1701.63,"body":"so I would love for you to enjoy"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1697.61,"endTime":1701.63,"body":"it as well. And it's free."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1702.65,"endTime":1706.28,"body":"That's you know, you're not"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1702.65,"endTime":1706.28,"body":"going to get any further emails"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1706.28,"endTime":1711.26,"body":"from me. For my newsletter or"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1706.28,"endTime":1711.26,"body":"anything like that, it's you're"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1711.26,"endTime":1716.87,"body":"just getting the guide. And if"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1711.26,"endTime":1716.87,"body":"you wish to join my newsletter,"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1717.17,"endTime":1721.64,"body":"which is bi-weekly, every other"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1717.17,"endTime":1721.64,"body":"Wednesday, which is filled with"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1721.64,"endTime":1725.51,"body":"content not shared anywhere"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1721.64,"endTime":1725.51,"body":"else. There is a link in the"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1725.51,"endTime":1730.76,"body":"show notes to that, if you would"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1725.51,"endTime":1730.76,"body":"like to join that. I would love"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1730.76,"endTime":1735.23,"body":"to have you in my sacred space I"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1730.76,"endTime":1735.23,"body":"call it it's where I share"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1735.26,"endTime":1739.01,"body":"things I don't share elsewhere."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1735.26,"endTime":1739.01,"body":"So I'd be happy to have you."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1739.1,"endTime":1742.82,"body":"Until next time, take care and"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1739.1,"endTime":1742.82,"body":"remember, when you unleash your"},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1742.82,"endTime":1745.94,"body":"heart you unleash your life."},{"speaker":"Victoria Volk","startTime":1742.82,"endTime":1745.94,"body":"Much love"}]}