THERAPY IN MOTION | WITH SPECIAL GUEST MALIK | PART ONE

KING OJ SITS WITH SPECIAL SPECIAL GUEST MALIK FOR THIS TWO PART SEIRES WHERE THEY DISCUSS HIS LIFESTORY AND HOW HE DISCOVERED HIS PASSION. THEY ALSO DISCUSSED FATHERHOOD, CO PARENTING, HOW THE NEIGHBORHOOD USED TO BE AND SOME CRAZY FUNNY STORIES IN BETWEEN. TAP IN FOR PART ONE AND DONT MISS MORE OF THERPAY IN MOTION.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

What's that deal? We back with another therapy in motion, and today we got a special guest. I got my dog Leek in the building. What's the deal, bro? I can call it, I can call it. So what I like to do normally is, you know, have a wellness check when we first start. So how you feeling today, brother?

SPEAKER_00 0:23

I mean, I'm good, man. Sorry that uh being so hot outside, man, but I'm good. Feeling real refreshed. Had a night, uh good night's sleep, actually. So feeling great today. How you feeling?

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Man, toasted. Damn, I forgot where I was at. Man, alright, bet that, bet that. We still going? Yep. Oh shit, yeah, yeah. So shit. Besides that, I'm good though. I'm good. Uh just ready to get in here and cook real fast. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Yeah, let's get to it, man. Let's get to it.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Alright, bet that. So uh let the people know a little bit about yourself. You know, we'll start off with your upbringing.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Oh man, um, I grew up on the east side of the city. Uh, you already know. Uh East Jefferson area, man. Grew up, pretty big family. Um, Pops was kind of like in now because he was like in a lot of trouble with jail and stuff, but for the, you know, he's he still was good to us and stuff, you know. So it's me and my mom, my little sister. And then, you know, as uh time went by, uh got you know re you know, acquainted with my other siblings and stuff. So grew up pretty good, uh, pretty much in a single mother household. But, you know, once my dad got out of jail, it's actually funny, my dad got out of prison uh the day I was graduating, actually. So like I'm walking across the stage, phone just ringing in my pocket like crazy. But you know, I'm just thinking there's people just trying to say congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

And when I finally was able to get to my phone, it was him. It's like he's he was home. I said, That's crazy. Nah, what's up? Yeah, so uh, but yeah, growing up, man, it was all good. Uh, you know, I've been working at a radio station for a little time. Now I went to you know, Specs Howard. Uh, now that I think they were Lawrence Techno. And um I ended up getting into that because I had an uncle named my uh Uncle James. He used to kick it with me all the time. He used to be like, oh man, you gotta you got a deep voice for you know a young dude. He said, You need to be on the radio. And he used to always tell my mama I sound like Barry White when I used to answer the dough. So, you know, it kind of was like full circle that I kind of ran into the radio station, the radio life. I never thought it was gonna happen like that, but you know, it just kind of fell in my lap, man.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

That's what's up, though. That's what's up. So, you know, to get back into, you know, the earlier portion, uh you say your pops, when when did he first get in go in there, basically?

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Uh, so the first time he went, it was like when I was in the second grade. And then by the time I got to fourth grade, he was out. He was, you know, he was present. You know, he was around, he was showing up to stuff. And then around 2005, like late 2005, he got into some trouble. And he was facing like 20 years, and then uh he was able to like, he had a good lawyer, his lawyer ended up being able to like squeeze it down. He was supposed to serve, I think, nine. Yeah. But um he ended up only having to serve six. So it's funny. So I was like in the sixth grade, so by the time I got to 12th grade, he was out. But he ended, so he ended up going to prison around like 2006. So then after that, it was just me, my mom, my little sister, and my grandma. But my grandma passed away to cancer. And then so it was after that, it was just me, my mom, and grandma. And you know, my pops, he still tried to be active, you know. He used to used to hunt us down, he used to find me, uh, made sure like he wrote me. You know, sometimes, you know, when he had a little extra money called. But um, and then you know my mom sometimes threw a little extra bread on there so we can, you know, talk and stuff. So he still was like kind of present, just not, you know. Physically. Yeah, physically present, but you know, he tried his best.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

I got you. So how you say how many siblings?

SPEAKER_00 4:08

Oh man, I got a lot of siblings. So on my mom's side I got one, and on my pop's side I got seven. So I got four, no, I got what is it? Five sisters and two brothers on my pop side. So how did first how did it affect you? Uh it was weird, man. I got a uh this a crazy story, I guess. We this is a good one. Um so uh back when he got locked up um the first time in was like 2004. Or like, yeah, about not before 2004. So like, oh, that's it, like, you know, like that was like 02, so he got out like an 04 before he got back in trouble. But um 02, or I said probably about 2003, um, we were standing on the east side, and I never forget this. Um it was a it was some kids and stuff that used to be down the street from us, and we used to always play with these kids all the time, right? So one day uh we had a family friend, his name is Fred. So Fred um knows my dad very well, he knows my mom's side of the family, he was more close to my mom's side. So as I'm playing down the street with the kids, um he came down there and I'm like, what's up, Fred? What you doing down here? You know, he's like, you know what I'm saying, what's up? And then he's like coming to talk to um, you know, he started talking to, you know, grandma and stuff. I said, You talking, oh I said, Oh, you know grandma? He was like, Yeah, you know, uh, this is my daughter's grandma. And I said, Dang. He said, you know what's crazier? And I said, What? He said, This girl you standing next to is your actual blood sister. That's crazy. And I'm like, huh? And he's like, yeah, he's like, she's like, he's like, he looked at my sister and was like, what's your dad's name? He's like, she was like, Jim. I said, my dad name Jim. So then we look at each other and we like, dang, we kind of do look alike. So I ended up meeting my first sibling like that, and then um, once he got out of jail, and then he kind of brought us all together so we can kind of meet, but we kind of like stayed out of, you know, because he was in trouble so much, you know, we kind of was like on and off. And then once we he got out of prison, uh, I've been able to get a good relationship with all of them.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

So how did well how do you feel that it affected them or did y'all ever even have conversations about it?

SPEAKER_00 6:07

Uh, it was like, it affected me because it's like, you know, you always wonder, like when you know you got siblings, but you just don't know who they are. So it kind of feels weird because it's like you out here and it's like you want to have a relationship with those people, especially growing up. Because, you know, well, you you know, you out here, it's a small world, you never know. You could be out here hanging with somebody or you could be beefing with somebody, and this is actually your, you know, your sibling, your real one, you know.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

And then it's like, you know, after y'all meet, and then y'all don't see each other, it's like you always be thinking in your head, like, dang, I wish I can go hang with my sister, you know. And our moms wasn't like the friendliest with each other, because you know, right. Pops was out here living a you know wild life. So like, you know, the you know, it is different times. I mean, uh now that our like you know that we all are cool, you know, our moms are a little bit closer now and stuff, so yeah, it's good now, but growing up, if it's like, dang, you know, you meet these people for this short amount of time, but then they gone because you lost contact, you don't know where they at. Pops, you know, locked up, so it's like, you know.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

So do you think it's well, I want to know about your moms too, but I'm like, I don't want to forget this question as far as linking up with people that might be a relative that you didn't grow up with. Do you think it's ever too late for that?

SPEAKER_00 7:22

I don't think it's too late ever, but I feel like it's like if you don't do it, you probably care less for it the older you get. Right. Like you'll be open to like, you know, you know, meeting this person and receiving that kind of love from them.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

But I feel like it'll kind of be like something that you put on the back burner. You just you know they're your family, but it's like you just kind of so used to that distance, you just love them from that distance, you know, you know, you don't bridge that gap. So I was happy that we was able to do it while we still was all like young and you know, we weren't as young, but we was like still all around the same, you know, age group. We all like fresh out of high school for the most part, or you know, people still in high school. So we was able to like bridge the gap a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Okay, I got you. I got you. So jumping back into uh your mom's in that situation with your pops, like could you tell like how it may have affected her or yeah, it definitely did because um, you know, with him being gone, you know, it was pretty much just on her to make sure that me and my little sister was good.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

And you know, raising a boy is a little different for a woman. Especially like, you know, in the times we grew up in times was different, you know, now, you know, now and then like you know, 2026 and 2004 is like it's night and day. It's like uh it ain't no yin-yang type of thing. It's like it's different. So it's like, you know, we growing up a lot rougher, we outside, we moving around, you know, you're you a guy, you just you know, you just want to be you, you know, you see, and it's like, you know, I say like with guy like little boys and stuff growing up, I feel like we're more impressionable. So it, you know, I can see my mom trying to find ways to bridge that gap. So it's like she not treating me like I'm too soft, but she not being too hard on me either.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

So she kind of leaned on my uncles, and I had good uncles, you know. So my uncles was always there to help out. Whenever she knew she couldn't teach you something, she had me go with them.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

So I was lucky to have that. But yeah, it definitely affected her because it was like I could constantly see her trying to stay creative and find ways to make sure that I get raised the right way as a man. Right. And not be like, you know, one of these young dudes out here just doing everything wrong or, you know, not being able to provide or take care for themselves. They just, you know, leaning on somebody else.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

So no, I definitely feel that. I definitely feel that. Um, so do you feel that it's more well it's best to have two parents raise the child?

SPEAKER_00 9:51

Yeah, I think, yeah, definitely. Because it's like when you I feel like um the problem of nowadays, man, is like people don't know how to love because you never seen it. You only seen one side. So it's like when you actually grow up, you see both parents being able to get along and have like a good system. I feel like it just makes better results. Even though, you know, it's still gonna be kids who have that love, but they they see other stuff and they want to do that other stuff because they want to fit in. But I feel like once you get out of that, I'm just trying to fit in phase and you grow and you grow into your own person, you'd be like, okay, I know what love looked like and I know how I want it to be. Because like, oh, I, you know, I got two parents who, you know, have that love and respect for each other. So I feel like that is uh it's better to be with two parents than one. Even though I think one can still do a good job, it still leave like, you know, a little room for error.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

So what would you say the pros and cons is to a single parent raising children? Whether it's single or multiple?

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Uh man, I think it's like the the pros, I think it's like that one parent is more focused, like, because they suck they're trying so hard to compensate. It's like that's a good one and a bad one because it's like you you know your parent could possibly burn their stuff out, but they doing so much for you, after a while, you kind of just start seeing that, and then you try to make the job easier for them. Yeah. So I feel like y'all kind of have a better relationship as time grows. Um, the cons of it is like, you know, you know, like a dad trying to raise a daughter by itself, you know, it's just a lot of things that you can't teach her because you don't really have that experience or know what that feels like. Like, right. We don't know what like uh administrative cycle feels like. We just hear stories of it. Right. So we can like, we can't, we we know what to do, like we know how to like care for it, but we don't know how to, you know, feel that, you know, feel like that.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Like if they going through cramps, we can't tell them exactly what uh you know. You can't miss that feeling. Right, right. No, I got you, I got you.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Yeah, same for mom, like you know, when it's time for a boy to, you know, be a man, you know, she can only tell you things from her perspective, so it's like you you only got her perspective, and so it's like you kind of trying to figure things out on your own on the other side, and that's a little, so I feel like it's like good and bad. Yeah, you know, but I think like with single parent households, it does like open the door for more communication. Cause it's like y'all gotta be out of eye so y'all can like, you know, get to where you need to be.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Right. And that's I I I really agree with you on that because with me, I got uh two baby mamas, right? Right. It ain't always peaches and cream. Oh no, it never is. And sometimes it's on them, sometimes it might be on me.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

But I do my uh job as far as piecing it back together. Yeah. Because my thing is, it's like even if we pissed off or we ain't really rocking with each other, I still look at the bigger picture as far as we still raising our kids.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

And then both of my BMs, they got kids that ain't mine, that I still, a lot of people don't really look at it like this, but I do. Like, I still look at it like I gotta play my part to help raise them too. Yeah. Even though I ain't even with neither one of them. But it's like, well, shit, if I got kids with y'all and I'ma come by and do for my kids, just like uh yesterday, I'm like, I'm about to go pick up my daughter brother, too. We about to go to the park. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not about to just be like, oh well, that ain't my kid. Exactly. Let me move on.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

That's kind of situation with what I got. Like, I got two, but really I got one. You know, um the daughter, she isn't my kid, but I brought her in to be mine because her dad ain't present, and I would feel wrong to not let her experience what my son experienced. I couldn't see myself saying, oh, me and my son going to Disney World, and she just at home. That's wrong, you know. So after, you know, had to sit down, you had to have conversations. Me and their mom not together. Yeah. And um, after having conversations with like people and stuff, I was like, I'm just gonna bring her in and you know, that's my kid now. So I just treat her as such, and that, you know, and people ask, yeah, that's my baby, you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

Yeah. So But how how important do you think that is that more men and women should just take that route instead of kind of more so washing their hands with just the child. They don't even wash their hands with the person like the parent, but they try to wash their hands with, and it's so crazy because some people have it like this. Let's say you dating a uh a woman, right? Right, right. She knows you got kids, and she try to pull you away, you know, away from the kids and whatnot. That's weird to me, but it's it's like I don't understand that.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

I don't either, because like for me, uh when it comes down to the kids, man, the kids are the bigger picture than me. So like, like I tell, you know, like we ain't mind, we get along now. Like it wasn't always good in the beginning. It took, it took some years.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

But when it comes to us, like our communication and stuff, it's like, hey, you can be mad today, but when it comes to these kids, I'm not doing that. Oh, you can't see them. No, I'm gonna see the kids because I'm gonna be here and be present. And I don't want to set no bad example because you don't want to have like kids who see two parents pulling, you know, you know, treating them like they kind of like a tug-of-war type of, you know, situation. So I just try to like always keep that, you know, to keep it separated. Like if me and you got beef, that's cool. We ain't gotta talk. Right. But if I text you and say, hey, I'm about to come get the kids, just say, you know, hey, okay, cool. Keep it like that. We ain't gotta say no words to each other. We can say nothing to each other for weeks as long as it's like, hey, dropping the kids off. Hey, the kids need this. Right. If even if I'm mad at her, if she asks for some money or she needs something to, you know, pay something, or you know, she just needs anything, I'm I, you know, I give it to her.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Because at the end of the day, the kids are still there. So it's like, why wouldn't I, you know, make sure that you good? Because if you ain't good, the kids ain't good, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

So I feel like, you know, parents gotta stop being so selfish and thinking about them, and it's like you gotta look at the bigger picture. Like, if you and your baby dad or baby mom ain't good, hey, it is what it is, but at the end of the day, them kids gotta be good. They gotta have both of their parents.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Yeah, it's important. And that leads me to the question like, how much of a struggle do that be when you're not seeing eye to eye, but you trying to play that part as the stand-up guy. Because from my eyes, it's so crazy, it'd be like everybody moving more so ass backwards. The dudes, the good guys finish last. Yeah, that's good. I'ma just say it that way.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

You know, when people you say that saying, I used to think it was so like corny, but then when you grow up, you be like, you ain't lying. You do everything by the book. Like, uh, I was just talking to my friend, like two of my female friends, they both have their own situations with, you know, baby dads.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

And these dudes have it good, like, they don't even give asked for much, and they can't do the simple stuff, and then it be like me, like, I ain't saying like my situation good, but like, you know, at the time I was trying to, you know, get, you know, when I was trying to get good, I'm working hard as I don't know what. I'm like, damn, I'm doing all this stuff. I'm being, you know, she she's snapping on me, saying crazy stuff. I'm just saying, hey, have a good day. Yeah. Um, hopefully tomorrow better, and we can sit down and we can figure this out. These dudes, they just, hey, can you pick the kid up for school? They don't want to do that. They, you know, they, you know, baby moms taking the kids to school, picking the kids up. They not asking you for nothing but like, hey, just buy some shoes or buy some clothes, and then they can't even do that. And I'm like, dang, I would just, you know, some dudes would kill to be in that situation where I'm just getting asked to do the bare minimum and don't even do that. Like, that's crazy to me. It's it's backwards.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

And then, you know, you'll have like a uh mom and she'd be like, basically like, ah, we don't need him. And then he trying, you know, you trying to reach out, you trying to do right for the kid, and then you just getting rejected. It's like, dang.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Like, I don't get that, man. It's backwards, like you said, ass backwards.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Yeah, and then it's it's a recycled uh type situation to me within our culture. It's like female, a lot of females I see raise their sons in a way that they don't even, they wouldn't choose the guy that they trying to mold their son into. And then be like, so now you mow your son into this, but then knowing how you are, think about how all these other females' daughters is. I know where it's crazy, ain't it? They not, the dude you trying to mow, ain't gonna so then it's like, off rip, what do we think? Damn, I gotta be a uh a hood, you know what I'm saying? I gotta be a street nigga, I gotta, you know what I'm saying? That's the only ones getting looks damn near. You know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta entertain. You gotta, you know what I'm saying, you gotta tap dance around this motherfucker. You can't just go to work and then come home and pay the bills. That's too boring.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

No, it's boring. And I you'll hear that, you'll hear chicks be like, oh, he's a good guy, but he's boring. They'd be like, damn, I thought y'all wanted a good guy. Hey. And then you know, like I see like women like the the what's the famous uh saying, oh, you can have a you can have a future, you can have a Russell Wilson. And then women be like, oh, I want a Russell Wilson, but I want to have a little future in them. Like, what do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Because they what they really want is a a street nigga that's a sweetheart to them. Yeah, that's like they don't really unicorn.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Yeah, but that's that's like us looking for like the baddie who's like a good mom, but she's still partying and she does all this extra stuff and she's about her money, and you know, it's like you looking for something that's like that has no balance. Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

You want balance. Right, and then that it'd be so crazy because I be watching this and they all, why you keep cheating on me? But you want him because he got motion. Yeah. So let's say he stopped doing all the stuff you complaining about, and now he's gonna be boring. Yeah. So you really want that chase. You really want him to keep doing him. And it's like you really want the toxicity.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

It's a it's a you know what it is though? Like what is it's for men and women. It's like a dopamine. It's like you ever see like somebody in the casino and they keep losing, but they keep chasing because they won big one time. Yeah, and I think that's what a lot of dudes and chicks do. They just be out there chasing that high, like, oh I remember when I won 30 bands. I mean I lost like 10 and I won 30. Yeah, and that's what they be looking for when that person, they be like, oh, this person does this, this, and this. And but he also does this, that's and that. And I can if I can just get him to just consistently do this, yeah, you know, or her to do this consistently, it's like, you know, they chasing that high. And I, and you know, that's a bad thing, man. I feel like you can't chase no highs out here, man. That's with anything, cuz facts. You'll burn yourself out.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

You know what's crazy is people love the high, but they don't love genuine love. No, that's a fact. That's that's a fact. Everybody loves the high. Yeah. Of whatever it is. It could be whatever it is. It could be toxic shit, it could be whatever, but everybody is chasing that next high.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

Like, uh, funny story. So, like when I made me want to get on the pod with you, I seen a name, it's a therapy emotion. And I'm in therapy, and most of the time I'm in therapy, I'm you know, carrying my mail route. So it's like, oh, I'm doing therapy emotion, you know, I'm out here moving, you know, while I'm doing my little therapy. Yeah, and uh, I was just telling my therapist, like, sometimes that high, it ain't no good feeling. Like, I was working at Coca-Cola a couple years ago. I was making like $27, $28 an hour is good money, fast money. But I'm in that job and I hated it. I hated it, I hated it, man. You in there 12 hours, 10 hours, and you just going in circles doing the same repetitive stuff. And, you know, in a warehouse, it ain't no windows or nothing. You know, you just in there just seeing the same people. You got people in there complaining about, you know, how they. Been here for 30 years, and you know, you just like dang, you said I'm miserable. 30 years, and then you know you don't want to start over because you got so many years invested, right? And um, I ended up leaving and I just went to the post office, man. I was like a six dollar pay cut, but I love the job, yeah. Because it's just like at the time it was like a six-dollar paycut. I didn't kind of bridge that gap, nah. But yeah, but it was like I had to do it because my that's pretty much what drove me to go to therapy, like being in there, and you just like in your head so much, and I was like, I just need to. I was like, you know, once I go to therapy, I was feeling good. You talk to the therapist, then you go back to that job, and it's like I gotta get out of here. Like I got to, like, that was the only thing I was thinking. Man. And when that opportunity came, man, I just I just took the leap of faith. I was like, I had some readjusting to do in the beginning until I can catch back, you know what? But it was I had to do it.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Yeah, no, I feel you, bro. I be telling people all the time, the money ain't always worth it. Nah, man. Like more money ain't good money. If I don't have that peace of mind, bro, there was shit, probably like six, seven years ago now. I put an app in at Amazon. Right. They say, yeah, you you gonna take home a rack a week. Woo, ooh, ooh. I'm like, okay, that's some extra cheese I could use right now.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

Bro, on my way there, it was like a 48-minute, a 48-minute drive or something, bro. In the first 25 minutes, I lost interest in that job. I was like, Hey, I'm telling you, when you-K see me driving this far every day.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

I'm telling you, when you got that, like when you just like got that time to think and you just evaluate the situation, you like, damn, do I really need this? Man, and that's where you get, and when you get to that, do I need this? Man, it's over, man. Once you start thinking like that, it's over.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

You you disconnect. Facts. Because I'm like, this rider's giving me too much time to think. Yeah. So I'm thinking about all the possible outcomes. I'm like, you already know how jobs be. It's gonna be when you stationed in a building, it's gonna be some management that's hopping on bullshit. Oh, yeah. That's for sure.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

And we worked at the one joint, you know how it was together every day. You love the people in the place with that management. Man, so sometimes the customers give you a little hard time, but you know, it's like whatever.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

They was the least of the problem. I always say the customers be the least of the problem. They do, bro.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Because the customers come in hostile because the people in the the people who's supposed to, you know, bridge that gap, don't do their job, and then they fall on us, and then we take the that ass kicking, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 24:36

They tell you, yeah, take take them to wherever the product at. As soon as you try to take them there, where was you at? We was looking for you, boo-woo. Like, bro, y'all told us we supposed to, you know, hands on. But yeah, bro, that's how I was uh at that situation. I was just like, yeah, I can't do that. Yeah, no, bro. That 40 minute ride would have had me thinking so hard.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

Man. I would have been like, yeah, I think I'm straight. I can I can find something that pays, you know, half of this and I can make it work, you know. You can facts. Like I got something else going already. I I can I don't need that extra thousand. I ain't finna go drive 48 minutes, work hard as I don't know what, then have to drive 48 minutes back home.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Facts. Nah. Bro, I was at uh I was at this one warehouse, bro. Bro, it was so crazy, it was Chrysler, right? Right. So I'm just sitting there every day. I'm looking around like, damn, this damn near an indoor plantation for real. Like, we really just every day, it's people looking sad, looking drained. See, yeah, that's what I hate to see. Like, nobody, like you get people laughing and shit, but they laughing because of jokes they told. It's nobody that's just happy to be here. No, like you know what I'm saying? Like, they not just, and I'm looking, I'm like, damn, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

It's it's depressing, like facts. Because you be sitting there, you just looking around, and then like I said, you hear stories from OGs, and they like, man, if I could have done this 30 years ago or 25 years ago, I would have done that. Cause this right here, you know, I got this going on, this going on. It's like you sitting there thinking to yourself, like, am I gonna be sitting here complaining to random people like this old dude in 30 years? And that really gets you about that job. Like, I was like, oh no, I gotta get out of here. So I it I made that money for the two years, it was able to give me a lot, but I couldn't, I had that two years was it. I was like, I'm I'm out. I gotta I gotta go somewhere, I gotta go somewhere where I feel good, I gotta go somewhere where I don't mind going.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Man, and you know what's crazy about that, bro? I had while I was at Chrysler, bro, I had a a um a team lead, bro. He was there since 2000. I got there, it was 2022.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

So he teaching me, he uh, you know, teaching me the ropes and all that shit in the first week or two. About the second week, bro, he died.

unknown 27:07

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

The next, so he like, I see Odomar woo-woo the next day. Everybody like, damn, where uh bro at. Later on, they like he died last night. They like, damn, for real. And this is what's so crazy, bro. My man, he don't even look like the type that like is really into fashion or none of that. But he had a crazy collection of shoes. He'll always come to work talking about his shoes. I think he was like 45 or 43, some shit like that. Right. But bro, he had so much shit that he never even opened up and he died. I'm like, this shit is crazy because you will spend all your time working at these jobs and doing all of this. They don't care about your mental health, your physical health, your nothing. And it's just crazy because I'm like, I never want to be that dude that just got shit. Still in the rapper, still, you know what I'm saying? My whole life is still sealed.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

Yeah, that's what I that's my biggest thing right now, man, is I don't want to just work just to be, just to have. I want to be able to work and live. I want to be able to, I want to travel, I want to do stuff with the kids, I want to take them to all these places I didn't get a chance to go to. I want to get them an experience, and I want to get that experience too with myself, and I just can't see myself just working myself to death. Like that's just that's man, that's just like that's crazy. Just that just to think that all this stuff that you done worked so hard for and you finally got, you don't even get to do nothing or show nothing for it. It's just facts.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

And bro, think about it. They just had a moment of silence within our team. Yeah, then it was like eight months later, bro. People still asking where he at. It's like how the whole plant don't know he dies like six to eight months ago.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Like, that's that stuff. Like they say in like sports, next man up, they just be like, oh well, hey, he hurt.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

And that's what they bring in the next person. That's what they did. They made his best friend a team lead, bro. I'm like, why would you make her the team lead mentally? She already didn't have it all. And then that she didn't have it all before he even passed. But then you add that to this, it's like, damn, like y'all really don't have no sympathy for him or her.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

No, they most jobs don't. They just be like, hey, he goes on, whether you here or you ain't here. And that's like, I understand it from, I guess, a business standpoint, but at the same time, a humane standpoint. Nah, because you, you know, you people will pass away, and you would think, like, maybe okay, they have respect this person because they they work so hard for the company that you know they might say, hey, we're gonna we're gonna call it a day. Nobody worked just in honor of that person. They be like, no, come on. Three hours later, second, you know, next shift, come on in. Let's keep it going. And people ain't even got it together. You can't even call in because they like, yeah, he died, but you still gotta come to work. That's crazy. Man, facts.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

That's crazy. So, with that being said, bro, how do you avoid living like a dead life when that's what it really is set up to do is to live a dead life.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Hey, man, I just I go to work. Um, I'm in a good environment, man. Like everybody actually liked the job. I mean, it's a few people that probably be like, ah, I wish I could do something different. And I feel it, I mean, if you want to do something different, you do something different.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

But um, what I do is, man, I tell myself, you go to work for those hours. Once you clock out, your life, even there, like I, you know, my life is going there or outside of there. Like, so, like, hey, if I gotta do, if I want to do something, I just do it, man. If I if I like, you know, like I said, I had I wanted to do this, and then, you know, I got some stuff I got lined up to tomorrow. And instead of like going to work, I just say, hey, I can't come. Because I got stuff I want to do, man. And I just have to like separate that work and my life, you know. And sometimes it clashes, but for the most part, I value life over the work because hey, you get another job, you know what I'm saying? And then, you know, like you got you got some room and some leniency inside of that in my work, so it's like you don't have to stress about like, hey, if you call off one day, it's gonna be the end of the world. So I just try to keep that balance to where it's like, you know, like I tell them, you know, if I if I want to go somewhere with my kids and I got it planned, and I go into work and they like, yeah, you gotta work 10 hours a day, and I know I got something planned after work, no, I ain't doing 10 hours a day. Yeah. I got, you know, I got something lined up with my kids, I only could only give you eight. Nah, that's that's it. If maybe less than eight, actually. But I'm gonna get like, you know, I'm gonna do my job, I'm gonna finish my route. But if I tell you I'm leaving at, did you know I'm supposed to get up at 4.30 and I say I gotta leave at 3 because I I want to go spend time with my kids, that's it. That's all you're gonna get. Gotta let them know a job ain't nothing but work. Literally, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Because then you gotta think about it.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

Like, yeah, if you spending all that time at work and you're not pouring into the stuff that's important, it's like you losing out. Like, you know, people you could you see people like missing their kids' birthdays and stuff. I don't want to be that person. No wanna be that person. Facts. You you have your own birthday. You don't want to be at work slaving on, you know, a day that you're supposed to celebrate yourself. Facts. So it's like you don't, you know, you don't want to prioritize work over everything. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm gonna go to work, I'm gonna make my money, that's it. But if it's like life is going on, I'm gonna go live life first.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

Oh yeah, yeah. We ain't saying get out here and start lacking. We definitely Yeah, don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

Don't don't get out here and bullshit. Just do your job and you know, as long as you show up to work and do what you're supposed to do, they understand, hey, it's 365 days in the year. One day it's not gonna kill these people.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

So, question. How let's say you the CEO, you got your company booming. Right, right. What would you do to have a better uh create a well-running work environment for your staff?

SPEAKER_00 33:12

Oh man, I think I would celebrate them, man, because a lot of jobs will have people working so hard, they will meet deadlines, they'll make uku money, they'll make crazy money. And then the the CEO at the top, he got all the money. He like, thanks. And then that you be like, damn, that's all I get is a thanks. Right. I'll celebrate my people, man. If I if I make a lot of money and I can hand out a little, a big bonus to everybody because I know I got it to make sure, you know, I might, you know, obviously gonna make it make sense to, you know, financially, but I'm gonna appreciate them, like, hey, I'm gonna throw this extra money on there. And you know, if we work in the holiday this year and I look at it, we'd have made all this money this year, oh yeah, we're gonna we're gonna scrape that holiday off. We we we close that day, you know, worldwide or however your business is going. Like, or you know, if you got if you got like a chain business, like if I'm at a McDonald's and I've run everything, like all the McDonald's in the world, and we grossing, like, I'm supposed to make like a billion more than I made last year. Yeah. But you know, break some of it up, you know, throw some bonuses out, or hey, we gonna, you know, close down shop on this holiday so y'all, because you know it's still McDonald's be open on Christmas. I'm gonna make my people work on Christmas because that's crazy. Go home, you know. I think I think you you gotta set the building on fire to be off of it, and they might send you to another location.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Fact on judgment day, bro, they still open.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

That's what hey, you can say it's an alien evasion. Hey, you better flip the McDoubbles, dog. Hey, facts. That's crazy. Facts, facts. You know, I did I that's like that's crazy to me. Like, I wouldn't make nobody work. Even though I get it, some jobs have to be open for holidays, like some gas stations and stuff. But, you know, most of the gas station people be like, you know, they got their schedules and stuff set, but McDonald's, they open for breakfast on Christmas. Like, yeah. That's crazy, man.

SPEAKER_01 34:56

But even at the gas stations, they at least lock the door to pray.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

So you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 35:01

It ain't you gotta give them something, man. At least celebrate these people, you know. Let them, yeah. Hey, we you know, we know it's Christmas morning. You know, if we gonna open up, hey, we go from 12 to 5 or 12 to 6 or something like that. You know, give them some time, you know, to be with the family.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

So but, you know, that's how I would just try to celebrate my people, man.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Nah, that's what's up. So, um, I got a question. How do you view like our village right now? Like our community, everything within us. Like, what what's your point of view on uh right now?

SPEAKER_00 35:34

I feel like it's a little rougher. You know, when I was growing up, you know, the people down the street was like our aunts and uncles, even if they wasn't blood related. Now everything is so divided, man. It's like, you know, people don't look out for each other like they used to. So the I feel like it's some is good in some places, but most places not for real. So it's kind of like more divided. I think it's kind of like everybody is in a every man for themselves type of, you know, environment, like not uh environment, but mindset.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

So it's like everybody kind of just do them and they don't worry about anybody else. I mean, you still got good people who still try to look out and help each other and try to, you know, make sure you know each other good, especially like in the neighborhoods and stuff. But I feel like um we gotta start looking out for each other, we gotta start putting each other on. Like I told you, you know, when I finally connected the dots and thought about it, like ah, I can get on their platform, support it, and then I got, you know, my you know, lanes to help y'all to grow, you know, because I can reintroduce y'all to more people and stuff. And, you know, so I feel like we just gotta be more open to helping. I mean, I get it though. Some people you can't help because they gonna get what they get from you, and then that's that, you know, they get right, they get what they want, they get out the way, and then you know. So I feel like you gotta be selective, but at the same time, we should we should try more to, you know, look out for each other.

SPEAKER_01 36:55

So outside of that, what are ways you think we can help each other? Because I think for me, it's more so it done skip so many generations. You kind of gotta just go to the youth. Because for me, I just think adults be too set in their ways.

SPEAKER_00 37:14

They do.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

They don't want you to tell them nothing. Like they don't want you to tell their kids nothing, they don't want you to tell them nothing.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

Yeah, I um, man, you gotta be more open to helping people and more open to the passing on information. Because, like, me personally, I wanted to go to a big college university. That's what that was, you know, my goal. I was, you know, I wanted to go out there, but you know, when you go to the big colleges, you go into you know get into so much debt and all this other stuff. And I mean it's a good experience because you get to become your own person and you know you have fun. Yeah. But, you know, a lot of people don't tell you about the other options. You know, I didn't know nothing about trade schools, and then uh I had somebody put me onto a trade school, which is how I got, you know, into the radio life and you know, working in radio. And uh it's crazy because I went to the, you know, I passed on information. I did a career day some years ago for uh one of my elementary school teachers because me and her still close. And um I told the kids straight up, I said, you know, they're gonna push you to go to these big universities where you're gonna have to spend hundreds of thousands. I was like, I went to a trade school and I spent maybe like I know people who went to, you know, Michigan State, they like 100k in debt. I went to a trade school and spent 10 grand and got into a radio job six months after I graduated. Those people that spent four years to try to get into a radio station, they spent four years and either still can't get into one or they had to give up four years just to get into one. And they only took me one. It took me one singular year. Nah, that's what's up. So it's like I try to like tell people it's other avenues, you just gotta be open to the grind. It is a grind for real, like, you know, the trade school thing, because it's gonna they're gonna challenge you in different ways. And it ain't like, you know, you just sitting in a class, you know, opening the book, writing. You know, when we was at the trade school, man, they was like, we would come into schools just like this, we sit down, they put something up on the board, they read it off to you. Hey, find, they'd be like, find two group, two, two teammates. With your two teammates, take one of these, eight, you know, it's gonna be like, we go, we, you know, they're gonna, you know, they do the math. We know it's like uh even amount of people. Okay, we know it's gonna be eight groups, so we're gonna put eight subjects up here. Yeah. Once you find your two people, hurry up and come up here, you know, pick a subject. You you gotta get up there fast because you know you get stuck with something and you gotta figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 39:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:27

And then you pick your subject, you got your teammates, they'll look at you. All right, go get y'all equipment, get out, go figure out somewhere to go film, or go, you know, that that's what they was doing to us. So it's like sink or swim. Like, you got you find the subject, you come back, you record whatever you record on that subject, and you come back, you you cut it up, you you put it out, they be like, okay, you gotta, so they'd be like, they'd be like, go out there and get 10 minutes of film. You get 10 minutes of film. All right, you come back in the class the next day, all right, take that 10 minutes of film, I want you to make a 45-second commercial. You and I want you to sell me whatever this is. So I remember like um we had some groups just like that, and they was like, you know, uh just like go to a part of the city, like it could be anywhere, it could be Southfield, the downtown Detroit, Ann Arbor, Royal Oak. And they was like, get out there, pick a subject, and film it. So somebody had done like um recreational parks and stuff, like, you know, the like the youth to like try to get them to do more outdoor activities. Okay. And funny enough, these fools went to Ann Arbor, not Ann Arbor, they went to Royal Oak, to uh skateboard place, and they ran into Tony Hawk. What? That's crazy. And they got an interview with Tony Hawk, and their job was done pretty much. You get an interview with Tony Hawk, all you gotta do is, you know, record some b-roll of him doing some tricks on the uh skateboard, yeah, you know, show some kids coming in, you know, you know, pitch y'all playing, like, oh yeah, we want the kids to come here because we got this kind of community, we had this going on, and if they come here, we're able to like help them grow. And, you know, but you know, it's a lot of colleges won't tell you that. They just give you that that pen and that paper and that book, and you just gotta figure it out. But in trade school, it's like, get out here, you gotta figure it out because this is how it's gonna be when you actually get into this field.

SPEAKER_02 41:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

It ain't gonna be nobody holding your hand or it's gonna be no pen and paper. It's gonna be go out there and you find something. And I think, you know, we should be more open to pushing trade schools and other stuff on kids because some of these kids already got the talent. It's just you gotta be able to use it and you know get better in it.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

So why do you think more people not getting into trade schools? Because for me it was pushed to my generation. But I can't speak for the generations after because I'm not really, you know.

SPEAKER_00 41:45

I think it's more so that parents be thinking like, if I get them out of my house and they get them on their own, they gotta learn how to, you know, they gotta learn how to survive, learn how to provide for themselves. And I mean college still kind of holds your hand a little bit, but trade school is not as much. So I think, and I think that's kind of like the problem that, you know, a lot of parents don't have the information. You just think like it's a trade school, and it's like either you pass or you fail, and that's that. You know, in college you can you can have a bad year and still regroup as long as you don't get kicked out of that, you know, university or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 42:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

But trade school is like, hey, if you lose it, you gotta try it again all the way from the beginning. Then take it right from the top. And I feel like you you get better results when you just gotta go sing or swim sometimes because even if you fail once, you see what it takes to, you know, get to that next level. You like, oh, I know I can't party and then just show up and then just that's that. Right. Right. You gotta, if you go out a party, you better be up, you gotta be there 10 minutes early, you gotta make sure that you're doing your job. So I just think that it just needs like I think it's just the lack of information, even though I think they got way more information now than us. Because I feel like you just would like the the AI, the chat GPT, and you got the TikTok and people sharing information left and right. You know us, we had to get it out of the mud.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

Facts.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

You had to like, you had to, you had to talk to people, you had to, you had to read, you had to actually go and search like hard, like, you know, for this information. I could pull my phone out right now and look up trade schools and then click on the TikTok and they'll show you all the schools, they'll they'll pull out all the schools, they'll show you all the people's locations, what you need. They had like guys, they'll have websites where you can get the the chapters, and you know, for us, we had to like, we had to sit down and put our brains together and you know make some stuff shape.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

Yeah, and then I think too with us, a lot of people that probably didn't get that information. If somebody wasn't willing to give it to you, a lot of people let fear lead them. Yeah, yeah. So how do I even know you're gonna be open enough to even talk to me about this?

SPEAKER_00 43:52

Yeah, that's facts. Cause if you if you live with that doubt, you ain't gonna look for it. You know you gotta go look for the solution, cause it's just like. You like, nah, if I you know a lot of people just had to play it too safe now. Yeah, man. You gotta kind of gamble just a little bit. Not nothing that's gonna put you in a hole, but just take a chance and just you know, but make sure that you got a plan B. Because you know, a lot of people just gotta, you know, they got a one plan, and if it don't work, I'm going to something completely different.

SPEAKER_01 44:20

Bro, why do you why do you think people would rather gamble on something that could put them in the hole than something that wouldn't put them in the hole though?

SPEAKER_00 44:29

Fear. Or, like you said, is that fear? But I think what it is, is that it's you know, you see something that can put you in the hole, I think it's more of a okay, a lot of people did it this way. Like you know, more people that made it out of that hole. And then the other side, all you just hear is the bad stories.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:48

Because it's like, you know, you hear you only hear the bad stories of that stuff. You don't see the people that went to that that college that got 150 people and they not a in a billionaire percentile or whatever. You know, you just see, oh, 3,000 people went to this school, 300 of them are successful, you know, successful. Right. It's like, you know, you look at the NBA, you'll see like a school like Duke, for example. They'll have five, six people come out to, you know, make it to the NBA. But how many of those guys actually are good in the NBA? How many of those guys actually are like you gonna? I mean, yeah, if you make it as long as top tier players, you're like, you know, okay, they made it to the NBA. That is an accomplishment. It's crazy. But if you weren't in the NBA for like three years, it's like, dang, yeah, you made it, but it's like you ain't get to where you want it to be in there. Yeah. I think some people just be in the be okay with just saying, I did it.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:41

You know, I think that's what it is. I think the lack of hunger, that's that's where it is. I think that's what it is.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

Let's talk about that, bro. How a lack of hunger can just phase you out of life.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

It can, man. Like, when you just like, when you just satisfy with stuff, you know, it's just like, dang, like, that's it. Like, I did it. And then once you say I did it, you freeze, like you just become content.

SPEAKER_02 46:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:09

It's like, you know, like uh, a good example of that. You know, people who made it out of high school, but their glory days was in high school, you know, they always talk about high school. We 35 now, man. You ain't got nothing else to be, you know. Facts. Facts. And I can't I can't see myself like that. Like, even if I can say, like right now with the radio stuff, yeah, I made it. But that ain't enough. I want more. I want to, I wanna get on here. I want to be able to talk to like you know our radio station is it's small, but we we reach a decent amount of people. But I want to I don't want to talk to 10,000 people, 50,000 people. I want to talk to a million people, I want to talk to two million people, I want more. Like I try to set more. Like I never go into anything and expect just to say, I did it.

SPEAKER_02 46:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:49

Like, I don't I feel like that's just half-assing yourself or half-assing what you, you know, all the work you put in to get there. Like, any situation or anything that I do, I'm going all the way. Like, even if it's like it might not work that first year. It might take me three years to get to exactly like that, get that feeling that I want. But the thing is with me, like, I feel like once I get that feeling, I want to see what it feels like after. Like, I want to know, yeah, I want to see how how like how high this can get.

SPEAKER_01 47:16

Like you way past that stage of, oh, I'm just happy to hear my voice over there.

SPEAKER_00 47:21

Yeah, like, yeah, that feels good, but yeah, but only like you know, my face do you not go on Facebook, and I'm on air, and you know, all my Facebook friends, like, yeah, we heard you. But I want to I want to be out in the street and I want to see somebody that I've never seen a day in my life tell me, hey, I heard you, or hey, yeah, you did this. That's like, dang, all right, that's one person. So I mean it gotta be another one out here.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

Yeah, you across the globe somewhere. Yeah, they recognize you, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:43

So you're like, yeah, you know, like it's like going viral, you know, like, yeah, the people in your neighborhood or you know, in your city, you know, share yourself, you probably get 100, 200 shares. But when you get like a thousand, you're like, dang, I wanna, I want two thousand now. You know, I want I wanna see, you know, I want to see a little extra. So I feel like um people are just so content, man, and I just can't see it because you know, yeah, you made it, but that's it. Like, yeah, like that's all you gonna do, like, man.

SPEAKER_01 48:10

Yeah, I don't know what I don't I don't get it, bro. I seen it a lot. Yeah, you see a lot, man. Um, but I a lot of people, so when it comes to me as far as like just helping people, when I see people like that, I just it's it turned me off instantly. Because I'm like, I can't help you if you ain't willing to help yourself.

SPEAKER_00 48:30

Like, I can't, I just don't, I don't like it. I I don't like people who lack motivation. Like, I like to see people who like got dreams, because I got dreams. I won't, I won't, I want it all. And even like that, like you know, even like you know, like right now we got kids and stuff, you know, we want to see our kids go. So like if my dream gotta get, you know, I'ma still shoot for mine. But if I can like on the way keep, you know, pushing them up and up and up, and then I just, you know, take baby steps of mine, yeah, I'm cool with that because I'ma get there still, but I'm gonna pull them up first, you know. That's the you know most important part. I think we just need to, I think more people need to motivate each other because yeah, I ain't like just seeing somebody just saying, hey, I'm cool, I did this, and like dang, that's all you want.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

Yeah, man, nah, fact. Some people, they really do, they really do just want the bare minimal or whatever was presented to them.

SPEAKER_04 49:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

They don't know, so like, let's say we got three doors. Right. One door is a guaranteed a house for rent, a car note, and a decent job. Right. The two other doors is unknown. Could be great, it could be mediocre. Most people gonna go for the door that's open.

SPEAKER_00 49:46

Because it's guaranteed, like, you know, like when you see them post on Facebook and they be like, all right, you get $10,000 to make a layup, $50 for a free throw, two million for a corner three. I'm gonna shoot that corner three. Man, hey, he felt like that. Hey, look, I know that $10,000 cool, but you telling me if I can hit this corner three, if I get two, I'm I'm going for it because yeah, I might miss. But if I make it, I get two mil. Yeah, you can make a layout, you get $10,000, but it's like, you know, economy, however, you know, it's fucked up right now, man. Hey, everything high gas, four dollars, man. That $10,000 is gone gone in the blink of an eye. So I'm if I'm gonna go for it, man. I'm I'm swinging hard. I'm going for I'm going for that two mil, and I'm gonna hit that corner three.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

And then you gotta think of how many people then blue bunnies.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

Yeah, man. So because you missed that layup thinking it's a given. Cause you like, oh, this is the easiest shot ever. It's right here, it's guaranteed $10,000. Man. And then you you go up there and you put it up there and that mud roll out the rim. All you shot for was $10,000. Like, dang. Man. If you was gonna miss it, you might as well take the corner three. Facts. Facts. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta live like, hey, uh, what's that saying that Kylie had in that one song? Was life without risk? Man. Hey, you gotta dog a genius for sure. He he he was on to something with that. Yeah. Younger me kind of was like, okay, that's just that's nice little, you know, something to tie into the flow. But when you think about it for real, it's like, dang, what is life without risk? I couldn't imagine myself just being safe every day. Like, I mean, yeah, I want to be safe because I want to get home. But like when it comes to like being able to, you know, make my you get to where I want to be in life or expand, expand life or expand my situation. I'm you gotta take a chance.

SPEAKER_01 51:31

Right. You don't need uh a seatbelt just to drink a cup of water. Yeah, yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00 51:35

Yeah, you don't you don't want to be like that. You don't need a bendy straw when you're in the house, man. Just go get that, you you live by yourself. Go drink that that damn that bottle, man.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

Man, nah, for real.

SPEAKER_00 51:45

Don't put no straw in that cup, man. Go for it.

SPEAKER_01 51:47

Man, for real, though. Um, so when when do you feel that you developed the mindset that you got now?

SPEAKER_00 51:57

Uh, I feel like it came later in not too late in life. I feel like it was like after high school. I feel like um, you know, I was supposed to go to school. Uh my mom got sick, so when she got sick, I just said I stayed back. So it kind of worked. I mean, well, they they messed up some stuff on the other end, but I still could have gone, but but luckily I didn't go because my mom got sick. So I feel like once I um started, I didn't really know what was next because it's like I'ma just get a job, help moms out with the bills, and you know, you figure it out from there. And um, I feel like once I started thinking, like I started working at a job, and I was like, yeah, this is cool, but I'm I'm 18, I ain't lived, I ain't seen enough. And I started thinking to myself, like, what can I do and how can I do it? And um I just started trying stuff, man. Just I just I tried, you know, you try stuff once. Uh I think the first thing I ever tried was I saved up money, I bought a car. It was a uh 2001 Impala, and it was a gamble because I didn't know if it was actually gonna be worth a damn. It wasn't worth a damn, so I've wasted $1,400, but it was it was a risk. Yeah. Because it was like, if I get this, it could better my situation. So I did that and I and I learned a lesson. I'm like, okay, so when I do something or invest into something, I need to check this off, I need to do all these proper things. And then um, as you, you know, then I started small, I started doing little stuff, trying to like, you know, I started one job, then I was like, okay, let maybe I try this and you know, see where it goes. And then you kind of take a leap of faith, and then that's when I end up running to the Specs Hour ad. And then I apply for Specs Hour. And uh, I want to say that's where it really came from. Like the the amount of creativity it took to even just be in there to survive for a year, yeah. It gave me the mentality of every day could be singerswim, so why not try something different? Because um, when I went to school, I really went for just um what did that go for? I really went for um just like broadcast like TV, like to do like behind the scenes stuff. Yeah. But then when I got in there and I started like doing the radio stuff, I said, hey, this radio stuff might be for me. I think I can make this work.

SPEAKER_02 54:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:09

So I, you know, I said, you know what, I'm gonna focus more harder on the radio side. And I took a chance. I went there for the you know the TV stuff, but I said, you know what, I'm gonna just get this radio stuff a try and I figure it out. And then after that, like I started looking at stuff, thinking about stuff, and I said, I gotta get my hands into more stuff because you know, I don't want to be a one-trick pony. Right. So uh we was at the we was at the one job together. Um, I was in there one day and I said, I'm working hard as hell to get this little 1500 every two weeks. Man. I said, it gotta be another way. And I remember like my mom worked at the casino, and I was like, a casino is technically a trade. So I said, you know what, I'm gonna apply the casino. And it was like, yeah, um, the problem is, you know, if you, you know, you can you can you got the job basically, but you are you gonna commit to this? And I said, well, it's commit to what? It's a training. You gotta come here four hours a day, five days a week for no pay. So it's like, oh damn, you I gotta I gotta give you four hours a day, five days a week for I think it was five weeks with no pay. I said, fuck it, I'm gonna do it. And then uh I I do it, I I accomplish it, I get the job all the way, I start. I work three days one week, and uh I looked at my check, and I looked at my wall, uh the Walmart check, and I said, I said, I worked three days and I got half the money already. I said, damn, imagine what if I do if I do five. And I thought to it. I had uh, and I said, wait, I said, oh, I might even still there because I just worked three days and made half the money, so I'm like in two weeks I'm making the same amount. And I said, Oh yeah, it's time to. I just I literally went to work. They had said something stupid to me. I handed my young dog my uh stuff and he was like, Where you about to go? I said, uh, I'm gone. He was like, he's like if you're about to leave, then I'll catch you tomorrow. I said, nah, ain't no tomorrow. He bust out laughing because he thought I was joking. I know I left my last check and everything for months. I didn't go get my last check until like six months later. Man. Because it was like when I was over it, I was over it, man. And I started thinking and I started getting more creative, so I just started trying to do different stuff, man. I did the casino, I detailed cars, I started doing all kinds of stuff because it just was like, try stuff, why not? You know, yeah, just get out and just do just gamble. Like, hey, if it if it works, it works. If I if I like it, you know, if I do it and I like it, I'm gonna commit to it. Yeah. If I go out and do it and I hate it, then I'm gonna try to find a different way to do it to see if I can actually like it. And if I if I try it a couple different ways and it ain't for me, it ain't for me. Right, nah, for real. And I think that's what most people gotta realize is that some things ain't for us. You know, you can have your heart set on something, try it. If you can't make it work, then you might have another gift. You just ain't ran into it.

SPEAKER_01 56:49

Facts. Um, so do you feel like you was ready for the world when you got out of high school?

SPEAKER_00 56:56

I ain't gonna lie, I didn't have a clue what I was gonna do. Man, I you know, you hear all these stories about people like, oh, I had a plan out of high school. I did not have a plan. My plan was to go to school, and then when that didn't work, I was like, damn, what's next? Man. So I I did not, I definitely didn't, man. I didn't have no plans. I I could sit here and honestly tell you, I did not have a plan.

SPEAKER_01 57:19

So what was your mind and that mode to where, like, so how did it go, like right after graduation or whatever? Like, what were you set on? Uh I mean, outside I know you said school. Yeah. But like, okay, let's fast forward right after that part when you realized that school wasn't about to happen the way you wanted it to.

SPEAKER_00 57:37

So once I realized that, I was like, man, I gotta try to figure something out. But I was like, you know what? I'm gonna just take it one day at a time. And uh, I feel like after, like, once I realized that I wasn't going to school and I had no plan, I just kind of, my like, I had like, it was like, so that when I figured I wasn't going to school, it was like July before August, yeah, somewhere up in there. And I felt like for like that whole July and August, I had gone through like different chapters with different people. And you know, I'm hanging with certain friends for like a week, and then it's like another friend for another week and another friend for a week. So I'm just going through these different chapters, and everybody like, oh, my one boy, he gonna go do this. I had friends that, you know, want to do illegal shit, and I was like, nah, that ain't me. I knew that wasn't me. I always knew that wasn't me. Then I had friends that did military, you know. I I wasn't really set on that. My heart wasn't setting to it. So, you know, I'm watching all these people go, we all going like, we we all still close to stuff, but we all was doing different, going different paths. So I'm like, I gotta find my path, and I just was like, I'm gonna just take it one day at a time. I like maybe it's not meant for me to jump right now.

SPEAKER_02 58:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:40

So I just I just started coasting, bro. I coasted, ended up getting the job, and then, you know, as I'm working, uh different things started getting, you know, coming up. And I'm like, okay, maybe I might like this, maybe I might not like this. And after a while, I said, dang, what do I like? And then uh, where it hit me is uh in the car, my mom one day we went somewhere, and as I'm sitting there, just chilling, listening to the radio, I think damn Steve Hart mourning show or something. Yeah, they cut to it, they said the specs hour thing. I said, dang, I ain't never heard of Specs Hour. I Googled it, see it was TV and radio. I said, fuck it. I'm gonna try it. I applied, um, they hit me back, they said, hey, come in. They showed me around, they talked to me, uh, showed me a bunch of stuff. They know I was in there, people was already in school, so they uh, you know, they doing their little projects, so I'm seeing them working. I said, you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna just roll. And I was like, you know, once, you know, the time to come, because I think I had like uh I think I had like four months before the next course started. So I'm like, fuck it, cool. I think it started in November. I think it was like still like, I think it was like August. So I had like three, four months. So I was like, yeah, fuck it. I was like, you know, when it crossed, it crossed, you know. So I just kept taking it day by day and then I started hearing more and more about it, and uh end up uh working with a dude. He was he was about to go there too, around the same time as me. So yeah. I was like, fuck it, we just gonna do it together and just hope for the best.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:08

Okay, so as far as the trade uh school go, uh-huh. Knowing that a lot of people don't have that knowledge, what is something else that you might want to put out there about it? Like, it might not be the trade that you took, but it might be other options that they offered at your uh school.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:27

Oh man, so trade schools are so broad, like, don't just think that they do one trade in that school. Some of these trade schools got 10, 15 different things going on. You just gotta ask. If you ask, you know, if you just go in there, they will give you all the information. Because one thing about trade schools that I learned is that those people that's in their office bringing people in, they want people to succeed. So um the biggest thing is just open that line of communication. Hey, what do y'all have? Or, you know, or you know, or simply just going in there and saying, hey, I'm really good at this. Is it do you offer that? And they be like, uh, no, we don't, but we got somebody over here that you can, you know, contact, and that person has a place for you, and we got you know they got X, Y, and Z locations. Right. And um, you know, so I just feel like you just can't be scared. Just whatever you're good at, man, you it could be anything. Like, um, I was just like, I thought about doing handyman work. If you go to like a local UAW, like uh, because you know, like they got all these local UAWs, right? You go into one of those and say, hey, um I know a little bit about you know being an electrician. I I'm not, you know, certified, but I know how to do this. And they'd be like, oh, you know how to do this? All right, we got an apprenticeship program starting in, you know, X, Y month. Just apply, you're gonna do this, like test or whatever. If you pass a test, you're gonna bring you in, and then we're gonna set you up, and then it's off to the races after that. So I feel like you just gotta you just gotta talk, you know. Just you gotta just don't be scared, just go in there and just open that line of communication because they they'll find something for you. Because you know, like with our school, I thought it was just TV and radio, but they was doing Photoshop, they was doing um graphic designs, um public speaking classes, all kinds of stuff, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:14

So just go in there and just try something.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:18

No, I definitely feel you on that. I definitely feel you on that. Um so what does a fulfilled life look like to you?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:29

Oh man, when you wake up and you can kind of just move how you want to move. I think that's like a fulfilled life. Like when you could just wake up and say, I think I want to do this today. Or when you could just like look at something and be proud of it. I think that's where you get that fulfill, that fulfillment. Like, you know, some people their fulfillment is like seeing their kids grow, like just being able to become their own person. And it's like, hey, I helped, you know, guide them to this place.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:00

You know, some people are okay with just that. Some people, you know, want to have something, like, you know, like my brother, he got his own business. He uh sells little kids' clothes, and that's like his business is like one of his babies. Like it's something that I know he looks at and be like, dang, I did this.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:15

You know, it was a risk. And then, you know, it was if it was hard that first year, but when it started going up, it was like, dang. Yeah, it's a special. You know, so I think that's what a you know, a fulfilled life is like just being able to look at something and be proud of it.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:30

Yeah, it's quick. Do you want to plug bro uh business?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:33

Oh yeah, my uh brother, uh he owned a little kid shop in uh in Harper, and uh not Harper, but on Harper. It's called Little Kids Image. And um he does odd like clothes, he has like girl clothes, little boy clothes, has uh real good stuff, real good stuff, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:49

How long has he been uh in the process of making it a reality before it actually became a thing?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

Man, it took some years because he always had an image of he had did um a business with some of his friends, I think it was called Faircrest. And it was like because he is in the my brother's in the fashion, like, you know, heavy. And um I think where it was he did that with his friends, it was like it was cool, and now and then after a while I was like, okay, I want something that I can say that is mine with this fashion stuff. Yeah, and then you know, we got a big family, so we got a lot of you know, nieces and nephews, yeah, and all that. So I think that he just kind of looked at that and was like, you know what? Kids close. Because people ain't gonna stop having kids. Facts. And you know, a lot of places don't sell high fashion for kids, they just sell, you know, the regular stuff. Or you gotta go far and wide and spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on the you know the good stuff for the kids. So my brother, he just he he stayed the course, and so I probably say before it even happened, probably like five or six years, it was just like in the making before it came true. So just hey, if you got a vision, just stick to it, just stick to it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:54

Nah, that's what's up. Um, especially for him to not give up because that's a long time. It is, man. And a lot of people, they look at it like shit, five days is too long. If it didn't work, I just like on to the next.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:08

Some people look at it and be like, I'm good, bro. Like I done gave it two weeks. I'm straight. I'm like, man, that's it. Like you ain't even try to grind.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:17

Yeah, and that's the crazy part, bro. Even with the pod, bro, different situations will pop up that are, you know, taking me off my square of, you know, completing the next episode or even getting started to begin with for real. And it was just like, okay, let me still, you know, prep my mind to not give up on it when I am ready. Oh, yeah, that's let me not fall out of love with it because I I want to do this.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:45

Hey, I take my hat off to y'all boys. I'm proud of y'all. I be saying I be checking in. I always, you know, I always look at the stuff. I I make sure I, whenever events, you know, throw something on you know the uh maturity productions, I I go check it out. Hey, you know, I seen a couple of his little short films and stuff. I'm like, okay. You know, because I see the grind. I know that's something that he's passionate about. So I just try to support ever I can because it ain't easy. It is not easy. You can you can sit here and have this vision in your head, and everything can go wrong, or some things might change, and then you just gotta keep adjusting and adjusting. So I know this grind is real, so I just like I see y'all out doing your thing, and I'm proud. I'm like, yeah, that's what I like to see. I'd like to see brothers grinding. Facts. And you know, that's why you know I had to come support. And shit, man, I had my own grind too. We ought to been out here grinding, and that's the most important thing, is just trying.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:35

Shit, I appreciate it, and I'm pretty sure bro appreciate it too. And shit, we all, I just like the fact that we all got something going that we yeah, we love doing. Not something that we just doing just because or we trying to do something. Like this is something we all love to do.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:53

Like my radio job, it don't really pay nothing, but I love it. I don't even care about the money. I just love to go there and and be able to like do something that I'm passionate about doing. It just feels good to go in there. I go in there, even if I'm going in there just to record a show, it feels good just being in that room and you just pressing the buttons, you you know, you pushing the keys, you you taking the callers. It just feels good. Like, you know, it's like that's like a high, but it's like I know it's more, like it's it can get higher and higher and higher. I know it's just keep going. So it's like even when I do my little bit of stuff, I know it's more on the other end. So I just it I never fall out of love with it. That's what I you know when I said that stuff about hunger. Like, I look at it and I'm like, oh yeah, it's still some there's still some meat on this bone, you know? Yeah, you know, you know, I ain't one of the people that go to Buffalo Wild Wings and pick over the chicken. No, we're gonna clean this bone, man. We're gonna clean, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta see, man. I gotta see what the gristle hitting on. Man.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:46

Yeah, I ain't gonna hold you, bro. I I love stuff like this because we could all be in a worse situation. Even when we feel like we in a bad situation, we could be in the worst situation. We could be out here right now robbing banks, man, smoking people, you know what I'm saying? We could be doing all kindners.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:06

So I had um I had a uh saying from my old head from a long time ago. Uh I was playing when I was playing basketball. I used to play with this older guy and he used to always say, uh, he was like, I remember one day he took my energy was off. He was like, he said, you signed. He was like, You acting ungrateful, man. And I said, I'm ungrateful. He was like, he was like, think about it. You having a bad day and you out here just spreading this negative ass energy. He said, think about it. It's somebody that woke up this morning and lost everything. He was like, I always remember it's somebody that's having a way worse day than you. And after he said that, I don't even stress about stuff, man. If I if I know I got a roof over my head and I can still provide and stuff, I just have to shut up. Like if I'm having a bad day, I'm having a bad day, but I ain't gonna let it affect, you know, the people around me.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:48

You know, you just you just figure it out. And really, it's just a bad moment. It damn ain't even a bad, it's only a bad day if you allow it to be. Exactly. It's a moment. You let it spread like a cancer, you know what I'm saying? And just you hurting yourself. Ah, I'm still going through it. Uh it's 15 hours later. Ah, I'm still going through it. You wouldn't believe what they did to me. It's a choice that a red light. Somebody asked me if I needed help. You knew I needed help.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:13

Like, goddamn, just relax, man. Sometimes I be having to tell myself, like, I be moving around a lot. I'll be like, let me sit down and think for a minute. Like, hold on, let me let me pull my thoughts together. Man. And then it's funny because when you sit down and you collect yourself, you be like, I was tripping about that all day, or I've been tripping about that for an hour. Like, what is wrong with me? Facts. It ain't even that deep. Like, just let it go.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:38

Facts. Bro, I gotta go through motivational sometimes just to collect myself and get back to who I am and nature. It's like, sometimes I ain't gonna hold you. It done been moments where I'm like, my blood started boiling so fast I couldn't stop it. Or I couldn't stop thinking. So I'm like, well, since I can't stop thinking, instead of me allow it to just go run rapid, I just combat that with positive, like motivationals or something telling me that I'm tripping. You know what I'm saying? Like, I ain't the one that wants yes man around me. I don't want people, no, you right, bro. You should be mad all day. Like, no, I don't want to. You know what I'm saying? I wanna.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:26

You need people in your corner that's gonna tell you when you're wrong. It's important. Because if everybody's just saying, you right, you right, you ain't never gonna think you're wrong. Fact. You could be wrong, you man, you could be the boy, you could be extremely wrong, and you will not see it until years or something later. Like, damn, I was kind of, you know, like I got a uh uh funny story. I remember um around the time I started therapy, uh, I remember I was dating this girl, and I was just like having a shit day. Yeah. And I just felt like, you know, you you giving out so much, and I'm like, damn, I'm like, eh, you know, people ain't asking me this. I'm over here, you know, I'm just tripping. And I remember we was in a mid-conversation, and I was like, I don't even want to talk to you no more. And I was like, and I just straight up ghosted her. And then like, you know, after I started therapy, probably like a week after that, I was like, damn, that was wrong as hell. I was like, I could at least like did that, handle that situation differently. So I reached out to her, I apologized, explained everything. Because I felt like shit after, you know, you when you actually sit down and you kind of having that self-reflect moment, you be starting to notice all the stuff that you kind of did that was like ass backwards or wrong, and you like, ah, yeah, I did that wrong. I might need to go, you know, I might need to fix that. So I took, you know, took the time, you know, upon myself to reach out, fix that. Yeah, me and that, because I was like, I was tripping. And it wasn't even like her fault. I was just having a bad day, and I done took it out on her and all kinds of other people. I'm just like, I ain't wanna talk to this person. Oh, I don't, you know, I'm just oh I'm just over it. Man, so I feel like you gotta have somebody that's gonna tell you, yeah, you was tripping. Yeah. And that's what my therapist did. She was like, Yo, ass tripping. And I'm like, I ain't tripping. And they started explaining to me how I'm tripping. And then she was like, How would you feel if as your therapist I'm on the phone with you? And I just said, you know what? You don't need therapy. And I'll be like, Why? Because I don't feel like giving you that. And then she was like, How would you feel? And I was like, damn. I ain't think about it like that. I'll probably I'll feel offended, like, damn, what you mean? Like you just gonna do me like that? Like, all right. So I was like, Yeah, you're right. I was like, let me let me go ahead and fix some of this stuff that I did. I was like, I'm tripping.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:26

So initially, how did you get into therapy though? Like, what what was what was that day like when you like, I need a therapist or I need to go through therapy?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:36

I was like, uh around that same time when I was talking to her, I was just having like a I ain't gonna say like a bad week. It felt like a bad week. It probably might have been like a day or two, and I just was like, I just tripping. Like I feel like I was just doing a lot. I'm like, what? I'm like, why do I feel like this? Like, you know, what's on like, you know, I couldn't piece together like what's on my mind. But like anxious or something? Yeah, I feel like anxious. I was feeling like um, I just I felt like I was just over everything. I think I was it was part of my job too. So like I'm going to work, and you know, like I said, you in the warehouses, no windows, you just looking at everything funny. You like, I'm working hard as hell for what? Uh I'm talking to this person for what? I'm dealing with this for what? And you know, I kept questioning myself, like, what am I doing? You know, and then you know, like, as you know, you try to keep going, you you helping other people, you talking to them about their problems and stuff like that. And it's like you just keep pouring and pouring and pouring. And it got to the point where I just didn't have nothing to pour no more. I was just like, I was over it. I didn't want to talk to nobody. I was stopping answering my phone for a lot of people. I still was doing stuff for like the kids and stuff. But overall, it was just like, you know, I just was over it. I'm like, I don't care about none of this shit. And then I was sitting there, like, damn, I'm like, what, like, you know, I'm trying to, you know, now I was talking to my mom, and she was like, you know, uh, she was just, you know, we just having an in-general conversation that you just talk about like some family stuff, and she was just saying, like, you know, sometimes you just gotta sit down and reevaluate yourself. Maybe you need to express stuff to something, or somebody with, you know, and then I started thinking, like, dang, how can I express something to somebody without feeling like a burden? Like I'm putting it on other people, or you know, I'm you know, putting that extra weight on somebody. They might not have the answers for me, they might just be just a good ear. And um, I was like, dang, I, you know, I thought about therapy. It's funny though, I I started, I went to therapy, I had a uh I did a therapy like session and stuff, and it was with an older white guy, and I was sitting there talking to him about just life, and I'm like, sitting there, I'm like, and I ain't trying to be like, I ain't racist or nothing, but just sitting there talking about my life and listening to like some of the stuff he was saying. I'm like, he can't relate to shit that I'm saying. Man. I'm like, I know he can't. And I know I'm he probably like trying to like dissect it. And I'm pretty sure he didn't probably worked with other people, like of other races and stuff. But this me personally, like, I know mentally, like me and him are like on two different parts of the spectrum because we grew up different, we lived different lives, like lifestyles. So then I end up finding uh a black therapist, she's a woman. And I was like, you know what? Maybe I need to see like the woman's perspective of some stuff in my life. And um I set up with her, Matt Coca-Cola. Of course, I'm having a I'm in there, I'm anxious, like I hate this job. I'm in there, like, it ain't no damn lights. You know, it's just you know this damn warehouse riding in circles, people in here clicked up, they arguing with each other, bickering and shit. I'm like, I don't want to hear this shit tonight. Like, you know, I'm just over. Yeah, that's exactly what it felt like. And then um, funny enough, she emailed me and I seen it, and then we exchanged numbers, she called me, and then we just had like a little 15-minute conversation. She was like, hey, when you're off work in the morning, uh, or you like, what's a good time for you? I said, I'd usually get up around 12. I pick my son up for school at 2:30 or 3 o'clock. And uh she was like, Yeah, so we could do one. She's like an hour session, just you know, come in and talk. And I went there, and once we started, like she started asking me questions, and I started like answering them. And I'm like, hmm. I'm like, damn, I never thought about these things or these things affecting me, like when my grandma passed, like when my dad was in jail, like uh like how I grew up with my mom, like the friends around me, like all the little stuff. I wasn't thinking about that stuff. And I said, damn, like maybe I need to talk about some of this to, you know, take some of that anxious feeling off of me. And I did that, and after that I never looked back. I just kept going. I think that's like literally how I got there.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:23

So what at what point do you so you say it been three years? Yeah, three years now. At what point do you feel that it started having a positive effect on you?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:34

Uh man, after like we had like some real good talks and like talked about things that I never really talked about, I started feeling good because it's like, dang, I finally got these thoughts out of my head. So it's like, you know, you have like my mind was just clear. Like after like, I saved about after that first month, I just like because I was going week, like weekly. So after like the first four or five sessions, like I was like, dang, I kind of feel good now. Like I'm starting to get these things off my mind. I'm starting to think about more things, I'm starting to put more stuff into like perspectives. And um once I started, like, once I got there, I said, dang, I feel kind of good. I said, maybe this is what I needed. Maybe I needed to talk to this person who's unbiased in my life, who's gonna, you know, not be on my side. They just gonna straight up tell me, hey, you wrong, or hey, you right, or hey, maybe you need to work on this because I think this will open the door for this.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:23

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:23

So I feel like once that came, it was like, it was like everything just started like instead of being bumpy and rocky or like treading down, it kind of just started smoothing out, just smoothing out, and just you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:34

So do you think that had something more so to do with because you went to her, now your mind is more, now you're more level-headed, so you could just think straight and make better this better and more precise decisions?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:48

Yes, yes. I feel like um if I wouldn't have talked to her, I think I would still be kind of in my like, shit, it's me. I figured out, you know, mindset. Instead of being able to think like, okay, maybe I need to do this, because if I do this, this will help this person, this will help, you know, this. And then if I do this, it'll like line up things for like me and like I go like a store, like me and the kid's mom. We was working like some odd schedules, so it's like we was having a lot of like complications with like the kids having babysitters or you know, like, or putting her in a position where she had to like overcompensate. And I said, you know what? This is how we're gonna do it. You work that job, I'm gonna work nights. Um, when I work nights, I get the kid, or you know, I pick them up for school, you by the time you get off work, I could bring them to you, and then I go to work. And once we started doing it like that, and then like you know, we kind of I had that balance because you know, before, you know, we like we weren't on the greatest of terms, so you know we just like fuck it, we'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:43

And then once it started like, once you get into that clear mindset, you like, well, if I do this, this helped her and it helped me. Right. And it's like instead of like going to pay a daycare $1,300, I can work nights, she worked days, and we make this shit like a team. And then after that, he was like, oh damn, we got a nice little system here. And then we straight, everything was smooth. It's like, but you know, you know, when I just in my own head and not thinking, I'm just like, fuck it, just pay the daycare shit. Yeah. Because you just being selfish at that point, you know, you just like it is, but I'm I'm not trying to make this situation easy for her or make it easy for the kid. I'm making it easy for me. When I started seeing like, oh, I'm being on some selfish shit, I'm like, I just, you know, just sacrifice is a part of all this life shit. So when I when I realized like, oh, I can just sacrifice this, I don't care about, you know, doing X, Y, and Z. I can, you know, because if I got that situation good, my life is gonna be better because when you like on bumpy road with like, you know, your kids' mom or family, it just makes everything more complicated.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:40

Yeah, and you really not even you you really not even making it better for yourself if y'all not, you know, on the same page. You're really making it worse for yourself. You just making yourself believe you're making it better for yourself because you just not on the same page with them.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:55

Yep, and that and I think that like getting into therapy, it kind of cleared that what can what can I do for me mindset. It kind of is like, okay, what can I do for this, like you was talking about earlier, like village, like what can I do for the village? Like, you know, how can I make you know X, Y, Z smoother for all of us? And then once I figured that out, I was like, oh yeah, this is I'm like, this is the right thing to do. I was like going to therapy, kind of cleared all that clutter up, like all that uh survivalist mode. Like I feel like I was in survival mode for a little minute. And once I got out of that survival mode shit, I was good, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:28

Yeah. So how let me see how I want to phrase this question. Uh as far as therapy goes, do you think that more people should jump into it as far as within? I mean, I guess everybody as a whole, but I'm really more so still touching on our community though.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:50

I think so because we got a lot of um messed up cycles in our community.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:56

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:57

Like when it comes to black folks, like we got a lot of things that we don't talk about, like how having fucked up parents fuck us up, you know. I think more of us need to be more open to going to therapy and talking about something. Because you know, you you had those thoughts, you know, you know your family fucked up and you you really can't talk to them about it. I mean you can, but it kind of don't go nowhere. So it's like, well, because you know, you in that cycle, so you kind of like you not bringing it to them in a healthy way, so y'all can solve it in a healthy way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:28

Yeah, I feel you.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:29

So I feel like when you go to therapy and you sit down and talk about it, it's like you could present things in a healthy way to others. And then when you put it in a healthy perspective to, you know, those people that damage you, they might not see it like at the moment, but as time goes, they they they kind of correct it because they like, dang, I did attribute to this person acting like this. Because you know, a lot of people act the way they act because uh it started at home. It all sometimes it all started at home, or it may I ain't gonna always blame it on home because sometimes it starts at school, you know. You you get cool with somebody and that's your man's, and then you know, you see him wilding out, and then you like, dang, that's my man's. I gotta ride for my man's. So you start wilding out with him, and then next thing you know, you're in some bullshit because that's your man's, and you know, that's somebody that you love and you look up to, or that you have like y'all see the you know, eye to eye. So I feel like we all should like go to therapy to learn healthier ways to tackle things. Cause I feel like a lot of us just don't fix things, you know, at all. I feel like we just we just live like a yeah, we I know this person, you know, could have loved me more or could have loved me better, but that's what they gave me. And you just be like cool, and it ain't cool, just you know, it's like what they say, uh, it's okay, it's it's cool not to be cool. Right. You know, it's okay not to be okay. Like, you know, if you see something and you know it's wrong and you know it affected you in a way, just talk about it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:56

So, what age do you think that we should start attending therapy? Ooh, that's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:02

I feel like it ain't no age for real. I feel like it's like more of a when you get to a crossing road of saying, damn, you know, all these things in my life are affecting me, and I don't really got no outlet. So I feel like once you feel like you ain't got no outlet to talk about these things that are affecting you, that's when you should look for therapy. When you feel like everything, you done tried everything and you just can't get nowhere, I feel like we should just go right to it and try it out. For better or worse, even if you go to one session just to get like, you know, some stuff fixed, you know, and you know, just to or clear some stuff up. Just try it. You know, it won't hurt.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:39

Right. So how do we deal with the ones that's in denial about it? But they're affecting us. Oh man, that's like let's say it's your parents, your siblings, your your uncles or aunties or whoever. I say uh it could be you that's in denial. It could be I ain't I was in denial.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:59

I definitely felt like I was in denial because I was like, I don't need no therapist. And then what I actually got, you know, my first therapy since I talked to the white guy, and I was like, I was like, damn, I actually do need this. Yeah. It just wasn't with him. Right, right. Yeah, but I think um the best thing you could do is just talk to them in healthy ways. Try to like um show them things from, you know, your perspective or show, you know, try to put it in their perspective to see how they affecting you. You know, I feel like I feel like most people don't correct problems until they directly see it affect somebody in real time.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:33

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:34

Like when it's like if you go to the casino and you gamble your kid, you know, money for prom, and then now it's like you in that real time and you ain't got the money to get them the stuff that they save, and it's like, damn, I done fucked up. Like I feel like most people don't go or to correct themselves until they, you know, damn near fucked up and ruined a relationship. So I feel like, yeah, you just kinda gotta hope that it don't get to that point, but I feel like most people don't correct themselves until they see themselves do something wrong in real time.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:04

You know what's crazy, bro? When people do that, you know what I see a lot is that when people mess up your life, yeah, they get mad at you. They get mad at you. It's crazy, ain't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:17

It's like you mad at me and you wronged me. Yeah, like I just seen I seen somebody uh talking about the other day, they had got a car for somebody and that person took the car and total that motherfucker, and it was it wasn't in their name, it was in somebody else's name. And that person is mad at them because they making them pay for it. Yeah. How you gonna be mad at me for tearing up something that I helped you get? That's crazy, man. You can't, you can't, you, you doing, like if I pay all of that after you fucked up, guess what? It affects me because now I have to like spend all these extra funds to get this off of my credit and stuff to get myself back right, but you probably done got yourself together and you can go get another car in your name now. Facts. And it's like, what did that do for me though? Man. And I didn't gave, I done sacrificed for you, and you just basically was like, oh fuck it.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:05

It's crazy. And it's so crazy because most people seem to not want to sacrifice for nobody. And one thing I've been learning through uh like just life's experiences that people don't even sacrifice for themselves so damn near, how can I be mad they won't sacrifice for exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:26

Like you would have all these situations for yourself lined up, and you just like I don't care. Like I'd have seen dudes, I done worked with dudes who would get a good job and they just don't show up. They get like one check and just stop showing up, and then you like, dang, why you doing that? Like, oh man, I don't need this job, but you do need this job. Yeah. Well, like why what you doing? Like, you're not, you know, you you want to go out and smoke weed and party all day. And don't get me wrong, you can smoke weed and party, but still show up for yourself because when you ain't got no money coming in, how you gonna get that weed? How you gonna party? Like you gotta, you gotta bum off other people, and you know, eventually people get tired of, you know, looking out for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:02

Bro, you know, I had uh people close to me, they used to talk crazy about the job me and you was working together, but the whole time they didn't have a job.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:14

So I'm I absolutely hate hearing somebody I absolutely hate hearing somebody with a no job say, Oh, I wouldn't work that job. Why?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:24

Yeah, bro, they say just cause you want to be captain such and such, I say, look, this a job, bro. It's a job. I just can't. At that point, we I was broke making money. So I'm like, I can't be broke not making money because I'm like, I'm only broke right now because I paid bills. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:44

But you ain't got no bills because you ain't got no job. You just you at home with mom still, bro. Like, don't get me wrong, it's nothing long living with your your parents, but when your parents pay all the bills, all you're doing is coming in and eating up everything and just in and out the house all day and night. Like, damn.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:58

Man, but the crazy Thing is, I know people that still had their own. They had a own and still just don't take life seriously. It's like, bro, how you have a mortgage or you have whatever car note, phone bills, kids, this and that. It's like, how is it that you don't care? You rather go out and party. You rather go out and get stopped at a red light and start twerking on the hood. You don't want to like you don't care about after the sun comes up and the sheriff come and take everything out the crib. You don't care about none of that?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:40

Oh, they don't care about none of it, man. I don't get it. Like, I lied to I tell my mom all the time, if if I was to lose it all the day and I like I lose my job and I can't I'm gonna I'm gonna apply to some jobs, but I'm gonna go find the fastest hiring job. If I gotta go work at McDonald's for two months until something better comes, hey, it is what it is. We're gonna be flipping them, hey, we're gonna be flipping them burgers, dog. I know them processed ass burgers ain't no good, but hey, I'm gonna get back there behind that grill and make sure it shake, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:08

Nah, for real.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:11

No money, I mean, slow money is better than no money. Facts. Like, I can't see myself just sitting at home in the dark with nothing. Facts. Like, I can't know. I gotta try. I have to try.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:24

Man, and and it's just crazy because I tell my sons too, bro. I'm like, we pass so many people that be under bridges or just begging in general. And I point them out, I tell them, if you think you're gonna do what you want to do, that's how you wind up over there.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:43

Yep, and don't and the biggest thing, don't ever think it can't be you.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:47

Right. Because these ain't just homeless people. No. They are choosing to do this. Whether it's been the drugs that got to their mind and now they want to do it, it don't matter why they want to do it. The point is, they this is what they want to do now.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:03

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:04

You know how many homeless people out on uh I forget the street, but it's in Atlanta.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:11

Oh man, yeah, I know. Like that's uh close to downtown Atlanta. Yep. As soon as you get down there, all you see is homeless people.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:17

Yep. I was gonna say, because when I used to catch the Greyhound, that's when I would first see them. Yeah, yep. And I'm like, damn, like it's all like these people, bro. Like hundreds of them just lined up. And it's kids out there sometimes and everything, and I'm like, damn, that's fucked up because you gotta think how we grew up or whatever. We have our own traumas and whatnot. And I'm like, but we witnessing they traumas.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:42

I'm telling you, and it'd be crazy because you see it in the real time, and it's like, dang. I remember uh it's it's not funny, but it's funny. But I remember my boy had uh tried to help a homeless dude out because he stayed in Houston. And uh one night he had went to Lil' Caesars on a late night because he's getting off work late, and they ended up just giving him like two hot and readies for free because you know they was getting ready to close. And he seen the homeless dude was like, hey, you want a hot and ready? He took it and just threw it. It was like, nah, bro, but if you give me five dollars. What? You said what? He's I just give you a whole piece and you just toss it to the side, like, but that's because he didn't he didn't want the pizza because he he rather have drugs instead of food. It'd be like that, bro. And that's crazy to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:20

You know what's crazy? It's it's crazy that that's the reality. Yeah, bro. Some people so gone. I was uh me and my girl, this was earlier in the year. We was out downtown feeding the homeless. This one I first first started, well, when we first first started doing that. Yeah. And bro, we downtown, we all over east, west, everything. We it's funny, you say high ready. That's what we did. I say, let's go grab a couple boxes of pizza. I'ma run a grocery store grab, you know how they be having those better made. It'd be like, I think eight to ten and all that. Yeah, yeah. I grabbed a couple bags of them and some cases of juice. So everybody just like, I appreciate it, appreciate it, appreciate it, woo, woo, woo. That's all I want.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:07

Yeah, listen.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:08

I don't need nothing else but that. So it get to one person that she pointing out, like, what about him? So we pull up on him, I roll the window down, this motherfucker like, stop fucking following me before I kill y'all. Like, damn. I'm like, bro, trying to figure out we trying to help you out. I say, yeah, I'm good. Yeah, man. Some people, man, they just don't even got love for you, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:42

Some people just don't be wanting them blessings, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:44

They just blocking your own blessing, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:47

Blocking your own just because, you know, like I said, you you prefer something over something, and I just don't get it. Yeah. Like, if I ain't got nothing to eat and I'm strong out on drugs, I would think you want drugs over the, I mean you fool over the drugs, not uh vice versa. Like you rather be hot and fool and bro, but we know people like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:07

We do though, yeah. We know people that rather smoke and figure out their food situation later. We know motherfuckers that rather go get a pint and figure out if somebody got food at somebody else's crib later on.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:19

You get somebody be like, yeah, let me hold $20 for gas, and they're going to get drunk, ain't got no gas in the car. They didn't walk to the store, they tow up in the crib. Now they feel good.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:26

Bro, Pete this, the craziest thing I ever seen in my life. Me, my cousin, and they homeboy, we was in Atlanta a year. And we was low on funds. I ain't gonna cap. So we just pull up to the mall. The mall, bro, is like an hour away, no cap. Right. This man was already on E. I hopping the whip thinking that we about to hit the gas station first or something. So I'm like, okay, cool. Bro, he drove all the way to the mall. It was already on E. Right. After we leave the mall, he like, I'm about to go hit the gas station, then we're gonna head back to the crib. This man told me after he got in the gas station that he only had $2. Because he bought a black email and put 75 cents in the tank, bro. I said, bro, ain't no way. Like I said, bro, you might as well don't. Bro, he said, nigga, I know my car, nigga. I said, alright, bro, back. Bro, we made it all the way back to the city off that 75 cent. I said, this nigga really do know his car. That is crazy. But I said, but why do you know that though? Exactly. Why do you know that you can make it against it? Man. Bro, that threw me off so bad. He came about that black mile, that 75 cents, I wouldn't have known what to say. I couldn't believe it, bro. I couldn't believe it. But it's too many people. That's what I meant when I say people take, they rather take a risk that could put them in a hole than take a risk that could possibly change their life forever.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:04

Hey, for real. That's crazy, man. I can't believe people be like that, but everybody, you know, everybody different. They got their own vices. I just, I just can't live a life where I support my vices or what like actual needs.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:18

Yeah, bro. Swear. The world needs a hug, bro. No, for real. Everybody do. The world needs a hug, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:26

Instead of like, well, it's funny, because I was just uh telling my girl, I was like, when we was driving here, I was talking about that uh that plan parenthood, and I remember uh I remember me and my man Dre was walking a City Burger, and uh a girl was about to walk in there, and they was just up there just yelling the craziest stuff at that girl. And she I could tell she was already like indecisive about going in, and they were just like banging on her, and I was like, I was like, man, that's fucked up. Like y'all could have like uplifted her instead of like kicking her down. Like she probably already feel bad about this situation. And I was like, y'all, instead of like, you know, kicking people down, you know. There's certain people that you gotta kick while they're down, but in certain situations you gotta understand, like you gotta just show love and support. Yeah, you don't even know her. You don't. So it's like this could be the worst day of her life right now, and she don't want to do this for real, but it she has to because it's how she's gotta survive, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:16

Yeah, I think people need to stop judging people initially. Yeah. And we do it too. We do it off most days. I was just talking, you remember Quiz? Yeah. I was just me and him was just hooping the other day, and we was just driving down the street, and this lady was just carrying all these bags, and we instantly was just like, that's messed up. It's probably a dude in the crib making her walk to the laundry matter and whoop whoop whoop. And it was crazy. I had dropped him off. I said, bro, that's why we can't be judging people. She just walked right across the street and gave that stuff to somebody else.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:52

I'm like, and the whole time speaking the words, like trying not to judge people, but sometimes, you know, you you gotta, you know, you we we all profile people a little bit, man, because you know, you do you see certain stuff and you be like, Yeah, damn, that's fucked up, or damn that's kind of crazy, you know, and then you be like, oh damn, I get it. Yeah. So I try not to I try to be a little bit better on the judgment calls, you know. Yeah, but then some people you just you you just know when they're your bullshit, man. Oh yeah, no, facts. No.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:21

Some people you know. Facts. We about to close out with that one. I appreciate you for coming through, bro. This has been an epic one. Oh yeah, this is a good one, man. Yeah, I I I definitely enjoy the dialogue. Um I appreciate you tapping in, you know what I'm saying, to even acknowledge that you even know about it. Oh, yeah. So, you know what I'm saying, and and who's to know where we're gonna go from here. Hey, we only go up, right? Yeah, only way is up. Yes, sir. This band therapy in motion with my special guest, my dog Lee. Hey, we out. All right, y'all have a good one.