IS MARRIAGE COOKED?! | FOR BETTER OR WORSE & THEN SOME | SPECIAL GUEST PASTOR MARK STATON

VINCE SITS DOWN WITH MENTOR AND GOOD FRIEND PASTOR MARK STATON AS THEY DISCUSS THE STATE OF MARRIAGE TODAY. WHY ITS NOT WORKING OR AS DESIRABLE FOR ANYBODY. MARK BREAKS DOWN THE DIFFERENCE BETWWEN A "WE" MARRIAGE AND A "ME" MARRIAGE AND SO MUCH MORE KNOWLEDGE IN THIS SHORT 30 MIN + EPISODE SPECIAL. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

What is going on, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of For Better or Worse in Then Some. I am your host, Vince. Uh, and I don't have Harris with me this episode, guys. I don't have her with me, so forgive me for those who are expecting to hear her laugh because y'all know it's contagious. Um, but first of all, let's handle some business. Let's get some business out the way. I need you guys to definitely follow the podcast by following the Maturity Productions Network on all podcast streaming platforms. That's your Spotify, that's your Apple Podcast, that's your iHeartRadio, that's your Deezer, that's your grandma's ancient radio in the attic. It's there. If you tap us in, you will find our podcast. Search Maturity Productions Network, home of various podcasts like this podcast, for better or worse than this, or maybe you like the podcast Me and Cheeks the Fierce, the Not Very Mature Podcast. Or maybe you like King OJ and his podcast, Therapy in Motion. Either way, guys, there are podcasts for you to tap into, and we would love for you to support all of the various podcasts that are on the platform, that are coming to the platform, and we appreciate it by going to Apple, drop them five stars in the review. You know, follow us, add us to your rotation in Spotify, do those things, and we would appreciate it greatly. But now, getting into my very, very uh quickly done episode that I have to do, because you guys, I have a guest. I'm on a time crunch, and so we're gonna make this happen, okay? So listen, shout out y'all to my man's in the building. A guy who is a he's like a big brother, he's like a mentor, he's like a father, he's like, he's like the guru, he's the sensei, he's the the the grandmaster, he is my man's, my homie from way back when brother from another mother, but his mother is like my mother, so we got the same mother, so we brothers. My man's Mark Stays in the building. Mark. How are you feeling, brother?

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Uh I am doing well, man. Just want to say it's a pleasure to be here with you. Um, very thankful, sorry, for the uh short episode.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

We've been talking for like way longer off Mike's. Oh, for sure. For sure. Years, years, years, yeah. So I appreciate the opportunity to be here with you, man.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Man, listen, um, and let me get it, let me get it right for uh for I get on trial. Pastor Mark Staton, Pastor of New Creation Church of God in Flint, Michigan. Correct, correct. Um, glad to have you here, brother. This is technically, and we I I would hope we could do another one. This is something I've been wanting to do for the longest time because um, for those who don't know, Mark has guided me from the dark to the light. This brother has walked with me for quite some years. Um, and when I was getting ready to get married, oh, did I stay on his pants leg? Like I was uh the hem, what they say, the hem of the garment. I was on the hem of the garment, and um he has just uh given me so many tips uh of wisdom on marriage. He's he's not just in verbal communication, but in um action. I've seen him in action as uh as a father, as a husband, um, and it and it's shown me things to do, to not do, um, and ways to be and not be. And so um I have always wanted to be able to do something where we could sit down and um I'm be honest. There was a time when I was like, I genuinely want to get Mark to start doing a podcast. Literally like sit down, ask you day-to-day Christian, non-Christian questions that people who respect what you do and how you do it could tap in and listen because I think not only do you have the the the ability to relate and be um engaging and and comical and and funny and make it you know easy to digest, but you also just have the knowledge as well. There is depth to the knowledge that you have, and so it's also a thing of being able to say, like, it's not just um oh Mark is just easy and relatable. It's that you you give you give great context and great depth to things that it's like, man, I I've read that 50 times, Mark, and you made it sound so simple, but you've also given still the context that I needed to understand it as well. And so I've always was like, man, if I could get Mark to do a pod where he could really answer things that I think people are are wondering, things that people want to know that they're like, man, hey, can we uh you know, I you preached this and I had a thought and I wanted to ask, what about this? You know, or and things of that nature. So um, but getting you in this context of a marriage podcast for the next 29 minutes, I think I'm doing. I think I did don't quote, don't hold me to it in the court of law. Yeah. But um, I'm glad to have you uh at least doing this, man, and and and hopefully uh we could do more. So let's start with just uh some basic things. Um, how long have you been married? How long have you been pastoring? Um and just those two.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

Sure. So um I have been married 18 years uh to uh one woman.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Uh and we always do that in real life and not in real life.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

We're just which is so interesting to do it now, like to do it digitally. So uh that's that's hilarious. So anyway, but I yeah, have been had the honor and privilege of being married to uh my wife Jessica. Um we're blessed to have two amazing children, uh Mark III and Madeline. And uh I've been pastoring now for at as the lead pastor at New Creation for uh coming up on four years, July 1st. Um so we're excited about that. And um before that, I was assistant pastor at uh Lighthouse Community Church of God. Uh shout out to Pastor Dale and my Lighthouse family. Uh obviously, shout out to my New Creation family. Love them, so thankful for them. Uh they're gonna be really jealous when they hear me on this podcast because they've been uh really trying to get me on a podcast. They're like, Pastor, you gotta get a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

We gotta do it. Saying sit down with us, we we'll just ask you the questions, just bring, just just just be you.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

So saying you are you're the first person to be able to kidnap me and get me sitting down on a podcast. So they're there, this is gonna it's gonna be some fireworks after this.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

It's okay. Let them know that I'm just what they say, paving the way. Okay, sounds good. I'm paving the way, yeah. I'm laying the olive branch for the palm leaves for what's coming, you know?

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Yes, yes. And this is one of the topics specifically. They're like, listen, we need y'all to do a podcast on marriage. See, yeah, relationships exclusive, exclusive.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Yeah, I need a button like that. Um no, that's that and how long you've been doing ministry overall.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Yeah, that's a that's a I would say a more challenging question only because um I've more formal or traditional ministry. Uh so I was a PK and um I was quickly thrown into youth ministry and and all of that stuff. So I remember um being 16, 17, 18 years old and preaching and being a part of our youth ministry and things like that. Um so that's that's been it's been about 20 years now that I've been a part of that that form of youth uh ministry in that in that capacity. Um so it's been it's it's been it's been I mean technically, if you include all of those years, you could you could say that it's it's it's definitely I don't know, um, almost 30 years, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 8:27

Bruh.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Man. That is, listen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

I hey.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

But easily 20 years in ministry.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Easily easily, see, see bruh. That is a lot. Shout out to bro. Big bro been doing it. Um, well, let's get into some some some marital things, man. Um I'm gonna start with this question, Mark. I think a lot of people today are running away from being married. I think the idea, the institution of marriage is now starting to become less and less idea for people. Sure. And people are now finding either just the alternative of, hey, let's just shack for life or let's let's have something super committed, but never really call it that. Um, you know, let's just have the family and just not have to do that as well. Um and then there are a lot of people choosing to just remain single as well, and just give up on the hope that maybe they can even get married, or that there's no more good people, so there's like I might as well just stay to myself and not even assume I I get married. Um, and then there are people who are getting married, getting divorces, people sitting there, oh I made a mistake. People are just like, I just ain't it. You know, what is it for you that you because you do premarital counseling, you and you work with couples, what is it that you are trying to instill or apply to them to get them to understand the importance of what they're about to do and why it's necessity for them to do this instead of those other options?

SPEAKER_02 10:26

So I wanna I wanna make sure that I'm clear here. Oftentimes, we don't necessarily recognize excuse me, we don't necessarily recognize that we have a skewed view of Christian marriage. And we don't always we're not always aware of how our Western consumer capitalist mentality has crept into marriage. Um why is it that um I don't know the exact statistics, but why is it that pre-arranged marriages seem to last longer than marriages from the people that we choose? Right. Um when you go into a pre-arranged marriage, you're like, oh well, this is the person I'm committing to be in this relationship because my parents or whatever felt like this person was best for me. So I'm gonna make it work with the person that was chosen for me.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Um our consumer mindset. Um our consumer mindset walks into relationships and says, what is best for me when you go on uh shopping platforms, I'm assuming I can say Amazon or whatever, like when you're on Amazon, then you're looking for what suits you, what feels right to you. Right. You have a consumer mindset, and uh I'm I'm I'm a hat guy. So I've been looking at different hats online, and like specialty hats, custom made hats, okay, nice nice Fedora wide brim, you know, okay. Okay, yes sir. You know, a little something. So uh I was looking at at some hats and uh there was there were just so many different custom hats, and I was looking for the hat that fit me. I want a navy blue white brim, fedora, um like wool, like that's that's what I'm looking for. Okay, and so as I'm looking through all of these hats, I don't see the hat that I'm looking for. Now, the way my check-in and savings account is set up, you know, uh custom hats, you know, if you can get the real live custom hat, they like 4500. So my checking and savings ain't set up to be able to accommodate you. Okay, while it be saying no. Yes, exactly. But my consumer mindset says I want a blue white brim fedora extra large. Okay. I want a removable um uh the little strip that comes, I can't I'm drawing a blank. I want the removable band because I want to be able to put different colors on it. These are all the things that I want in my head. Okay. So the problem is that we look at marriage the same way. And so our consumer mindset shows up to marriage saying, I have all of these qualities that I desire in a person and they need to meet all of these standards. And oftentimes, in those standards, as a believer, as a Christian, the the fact that they're surrendered and submitted to God is oftentimes not the highest thing in terms of our standards. And even if it is number one, we're like, oh, you a Christian, okay, so let's look at like all of these other things. Right. And when we walk into marriage with this consumer mindset, we're oftentimes disappointed because our relationship is now built on the same thing as a marketing strategy. Not also recognizing, I forget the book that that it was in, but it says that people change around every three and a half years. Like they be, they they evolve. Yeah, they yes, your wife has always liked peanut butter, right? Um, but even when we talk about love languages, I'll give you an example of love languages. So um before um our children were born, uh, my wife's love language, uh one of her love languages was quality time. When them kids came on the scene, then uh, you know what would really, really cook my grits? Right. What would really bless my soul, what would really help me out. If you get in there and do them dishes, now all of a sudden, right now, hold on, now you've been saying quality time, quality time, quality time. Right, but now it's access service. And so that's just an example of how sometimes we're like, oh, but this is this is who you showed up as when we first when I first got married. So if your desire, if you're shopping and your desire is to have this, and you don't think about the fact that in three and a half years that can easily change. Right. Which is why oftentimes it's at seven years that we get a lot of marriages that fracture. Because you've had essentially two evolutions. Right. Some some some scientists say, there's the uh psychologist say there's two evolutions. For sure. So now you're you the first evolution is kind of bearable. That three and a half years. Rose colored glasses. You got the rose colored glasses. So you like that bad. You know, I can deal with it. You know, we're gonna keep going. But at seven years, you're like, wait, this ain't who I marry. Look. Oh. I made a mistake. Okay. I made a mistake. Right. When we also not looking at, because when we see ourselves, um, I forget the quote that I heard. I was listening to a podcast and I heard a quote and it was about um how we have to be honest with ourselves because we are the person that's most that that is most easily deceived. Like it's it's easiest to deceive ourselves. So when we look at marriage, we're like, oh, in seven years, you don't do this, you don't do that, you don't do this, and you did this before you used to love me like this, right? Not even recognizing. Right. It's two people now that are very different. So the two people that you like, oh my goodness, we so compatible, both love, to go on walks, and right, but but now them kids showed up and life showed up, and now you are two completely different people. In a consumeristic society that we live in, then it is very easy to say, oh, this is not what I purchased. Okay. Lin. Come on. This ain't what I purchased. In a consumeristic society, when you got something that you didn't purchase, right? You bring it right back. Bring it back. When them I I I I said I wanted a navy, uh, uh a fedora wiv, and when it showed up, it was Royal Blue. This is not what I purchased. You are sending it back. Well, in marriage, when we say, oh, I ordered this, right? I I my wife loves to cook. I'm just uh you may say, man, my wife loves to cook. Oh, but except once she got two kids, then it's like uh I'm gonna need you to cook. I'm gonna need you to assist in this kitchen because I did love to cook and I love to take the time. When I have the time, I used to be able to make your play.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

You gotta make your own. You wanted it.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

I made I made it how you I wanted that that chicken fried crispy. I put a little extra seeds. I made it spicy, I made that spicy rice like you like it, just how you like it. And now I can't make it spicy now because we the kids gotta eat it. Or it feels like the food that's being made is made and catered towards uh what the kids gonna eat. Or now you want me to eat like you like, oh no, I well, uh I want you to eat what's healthy, not necessarily what. And so we show up as different people.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

And in a consumeristic society, we want to return them.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

And it's interesting because I think even in that, you see a difference in how people respond to returning what they feel like they they got. You you know, I was watching a TikTok where a lady was saying she was divorcing her husband and she's living, but they still live together. And she was like, I have my room, he has his. We share the communal spaces. She was like, but we're we're done. She was like, I'm not moved by anything. We still laugh, we still, we might catch an occasional uh show on a TV together. You know, we we might go out to dinner together, but none of it is leading back to us getting together.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Right, because we came into this relationship with this idea that there is a perfect soulmate. Shameless plug, Timothy Keller's book, uh Meaning of Marriage, uh, him and his wife, uh Cap uh Kathy Keller. Um he is uh he he's he is uh going on to be with the Lord. Incredible book that helps to shape a lot of the things that I'm even saying today. Um But when we when we don't get what we want and we we essentially call ourselves returning it to the store because it was real marriage was about us. It was about us. And when when we start a relationship that's about us, when we no longer like the product, yeah, we now feel like, oh, this thing does not meet my standards, did not does not meet my needs, then I can get rid of it. As opposed to especially our men, right, who are called to wash our wives in the word. Do you really want to be honest and look and say, mmm, maybe the woman who my wife has developed or grown into is because I have not sown or developed her into the woman that God has called me to develop her into. I I have not led in the right way. I have not, I have not discipled in the right way. So therefore, maybe the product you have is because you didn't take care of the product that you received.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Mark come on! Mark Just fire Mark is hilarious. That is on par. My wife and I, Paris and I, we, we, and we were we've talked about this, we've hinted at this, we haven't had our quote-unquote episode about this, but we've talked about the three-year war, and it's crazy because whenever we talk about it in that form, it always sounds like we're talking about some like historical thing, like the three great year war. You know, but when we went through our our issues, and and you you you would know this, because uh again, y'all, at the hem of the garment, listen, and and I I was right there with him, said, Mark. I made a mistake. Okay? And many a times, you know, we've talked about things. But one of the things I told Pierce, I said, what God had to really help me to understand was that he would so many times he would tell me, Vince, you're right. I hear you. Valid on this. Valid on that. You still don't have a way out. Mm-hmm. There's still is no out. Valid. Valid, valid, valid. It's like playing Doug Doug Goose. Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, and he's like, but there's no goose. Yes. You're just gonna keep ducking. Doug around as much as you want, but you don't get a goose where you get to tag in, out, and run and sit to take the seat and sit down. There's no goose. You don't get an out. There's no out. But what about all these things? 100%. None of those are out. It's kind of like when I we we've worked, when I worked at Walmart, people would come and they would have something that was broken, and they would have the quota, what they thought was a warranty. And they'd like, oh I want my money back for this. I got the warranty. And we'd have to go through the process of saying, yes, this is broken. Yes, you, you know, you brought it back to us. Yes, did you call the hotline? Yes, okay, but also you don't have an outfit. We don't have a return for this. Because you passed your 90 days. You be because you didn't bring it back in a certain amount of time, because it covers all the damages for this, but not these damages. You have every reason to be right. There's still no out. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

But when it's about me and it didn't fulfill my needs as opposed to about our growth and what God is doing in me and through me, then oh, I very much am like, oh, I gotta return this. There's a there's a uh a thing that um that I was looking at that that uh when we are in a consumer market in a me marriage, primary focus is my fulfillment. The the view of vows is a declaration of uh my present romantic feelings. You know, those change though. Those change. Yeah. In the me marriage, um uh the the how do I respond to my spouse? Uh I really hide them because I want to maintain the marketing, the the image that I marketed in the first place. So when I make a mistake, I don't want you to see the mistake. So instead of working through it together, I really and by the time like we talk about or actually deal with it, right? It's problematic, as opposed to saying, oh, I gotta be honest, I'm struggling with some things. The ultimate goal of the me marriage is to find the perf the perfect finished statue. We want to find the Michelangelo, right? You know the the Yes. We want to find that as opposed to um saying that the ultimate goal is to shape uh the block of raw material that's been given into what as believers we believe is the image of God. Like we are actually being shaped, right? Because if we're one, then we're being shaped together into the image of God, not oh, you came already, ready to go, because that's what we're looking for. So the the other thing is that uh in the and that's that's the we marriage, right? The we marriage versus the we marriage. In the we marriage, the primary focus is our our shared growth, right? That's got I'm swinging back to that, is our shared growth. Um the views of our our vows are uh a promise of the future uh with unconditional love that has no uh it's it's not based on for better or for worse. Right. Uh for in richness, uh in health or or um oh my goodness, Lord have mercy. Uh in sickness or in health. Health, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For richer or for poorer. Right. Um so all of those things, we're saying, hey, I'm gonna be here for all of that not knowing what that looks like. What that looks like the context of what poor is. It doesn't matter because if my love is conditional, right, then I'm showing up regardless. Right. I don't have a way out. There's no goose.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

There's no goose. How do I respond to the flaws? I provide a safe way to not only expose them, yeah, but to to cradle is the wrong word. Uh uh to come to uh to provide a safe space for them to what is it? We listen and we don't judge.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

Anyway, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 26:45

It's the the thing is is that it's not that there is no judgment, right? It's that we provide a safe space to be a sounding board for the person that God has placed in our lives. Um the other thing is that um if we if we have dry spells, what do you call it? The three-year war, if you have those dry spells where um you know you sleeping in different in different places. You don't want to come home or whatever. Yeah, don't touch me, don't touch me. Leave me alone, leave me alone. Um, is that you engage in a you engage in a love relationship that doesn't just surround you, but how do you love others in your relationship? That's hard. It's difficult, but how do you love others and how do you love your spouse in a way where you feel like, because there are seasons where you feel like you are getting what what you want, what you deserve, right? And there are seasons where you're not. Do you love them regardless of what you're getting back? Right. It's almost like philanthropy. Like, oh, these people need help. They didn't do anything necessarily for you, right? But they need help. We're quicker in those seasons. True. We quicker, yeah, I helped the man that need. I I go, come on. Listen, I Vince, I remember you drive one one time and you was you was trying to bless a family, and you was like, Yeah, I will drive to Flint to get them some assistance, right? And if that's a dry spell, you like, I'm not driving to the corner to get you a bag. For you, nothing. For my spouse. Right. You know what I'm saying? Because but sometimes it has to be philanthropic, if you will. Yeah. And I'm gonna do it. I'm not doing it for you.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Right. With no with no uh looking for the return.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

Reciprocity.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

I'm doing it because I'm doing it for Christ, and I believe that God has called me to give, even if it is in my marriage. Even if you show up, uh, even if you show up as my enemy. Sometimes it feels like, listen, I could deal with everything, but you the closest person to me, see, the one that's there's I don't want to say stabbing me in the back, but the one that's that's having that's against me that hasn't been.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Yeah, opposing me. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

I'll stop there.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

As as my op, as they say. Yeah, for sure. When your spouse becomes your op.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Oh, you talking, you talking, because that's the way it feels.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

Do you do what first off, man, what man that took us to court with the stuff. Very, very, very grateful for everything you just shared. Because that was very, very insightful to the me versus the we. I think that's super dope. And for y'all again, tell them the book again.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Uh, Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller. Uh Timothy and Kathy Keller, uh, exceptional, exceptional book on marriage. If you're thinking about getting married, you're in a relationship and you consider it exceptional book. It's it's completely countercultural to what we think marriage looks like. Yeah. Again, uh, but it's it's a fantastic book.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Definitely. Okay, now I won't keep you long because I know uh I'm already at 29 minutes, and that was that was 32 of the 29 minutes ago that we started. Three things that I'm gonna have you ask or or ask you, what are three things, Mark, that you have learned since you got married? From the moment you got married to now, are there three things that you have learned that previous Mark on day one at the altar has learned now, where he's like, wow, didn't know that, learned this along the way. Well are there three key things that you like, man? These are things that are very important that I've learned that maybe I didn't know or I wasn't ready or that has, you know, been shown to me through marriage, that I realize other marriages need to know.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

Yeah, I I think the the first thing would be that uh the perfect person is a myth. Okay. Um that God is is shaping us together into the image of Christ, according to what I believe. Uh so don't assume that, like, oh, this is this is the perfect person. It may be who God has joined you with. But I believe that God often puts us with people that are most challenging. So we're like, Lord, give me all these things that I want. I'm gonna give a, for instance, this is not my wife. I'm gonna say this again, this is not my wife. I'm gonna say it one more time, this is not my wife. Uh, but I know some some some for instances where uh a guy's like, man, if I could just have a wife that cleans the house, and maybe she kept a decent house, right, when they were dating or whatever, and then they get married and they got two kids, and there's Cheerios all over the floor, and she dishes in the sink at night. And he like, man, Lord, I thought you were gonna give me, like, yeah, give me the person that met all of my and because I believe that when God says that he's working things out for our greater good, according to Romans, Romans 8 and uh 28 and 29, that our good is that he shapes us into the image of Christ. And the example I gave on Sunday is when as an athlete, there are some things that you can't do at a certain weight. I'm a big guy. What I can't do is dunk. If I want to dunk, I'm gonna have to I can't dunk. I'm a big guy. I cannot dunk.

SPEAKER_03 32:41

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

If I want to dunk, I'm gonna have to drop some weight. That dropping weight is gonna be very painful.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

I'm gonna be running and running and running and running and running. But God wants us to proverbially dunk. Right. And so the things that He's sending us through, and the dunking is to look like Christ.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Right.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

So sometimes those things are gonna be difficult, they're gonna be painful that we go through in order to be molded and shaped into the image of Christ. Why is that important? Because when we look up in marriage, we like, Lord, I thought you gave me the woman that was gonna do all the things that I wanted in this consumer mentality. I thought she was gonna do all the things that I want, and instead, you almost feel like Lord, I think you gave me the opposite of what I asked for. It's not what I but it then forces us to rely on God more, like it causes us to lean on God more because the opposite is true. She looking like, oh, he was so fine when we was, now he walked around with his dad body, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's some things that they this both sides now. I thought he was gonna be fixing up the house. You know, now every time something breaks, we gotta call somebody. Like all the things, all the things. So, so the the second thing that I would say um is important is recognizing that people, or the first one is that people are not perfect. Um, the second one is that uh because people are not perfect, that God will put you in a relationship that causes you to have to change and bend and draw closer to him because the objective is to turn you into the image of Christ. Um the the third thing uh would be and two, a part of two is losing that consumerism mentality for for marriage. Like if you the consumerism mentality, you always gonna want to take it back.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 34:47

Three and a half years, seven years, ten years, you know, you're gonna want to take it back. So the the third thing I would say is um to be mindful of what love is in a relationship. And so um when we look at 1 Corinthians 13, it it talks about what love looks like. And sometimes we feel like because certain needs aren't being met in my relationship, or I didn't have this, I didn't have that, and you didn't make the meal, and I'll um looking at the word of God, right? Determining does your spouse really love you based on the word of God, and holding the word as your standard of love, as opposed to what the world says as your standard of of love, I think is super important. Um, if I could add one, it would be uh to grow together spiritually, which would mean that I think there needs to be time for prayer, and I think there needs to be time for studying the word of God together. Um that would those would be the the things that I would just kind of throw in there as my top three.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

Okay, all right. Well listen. Y'all see who the guest is, man. My homeboy, my man's, my brother, my mentor, the sensei the grandmaster, the guru, the man himself, Pastor Mark Satan. Thanks for having me. So glad that you you you came through, man, and and did this. Again, let them know where you pastor, where people can find um the church, and where people can follow you even if they want to. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

nccflint.com uh is the website. Uh, my name is Mark Staten, the second, senior pastor at New Creation Church in Flint. If you're in the area, we call it an invitation without an expectation. So you're more than willing to stop by. Hopefully, we have an opportunity to love on you, have the opportunity that you will hear the word of God and um be embraced by the presence of God. Uh, so yeah, we we are excited about uh what God is doing in uh in our area, in our midst, and hopefully what he's doing inside of you.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

Appreciate it, my another episode of For Better or Worse, and then some, okay, because that is that then some be coming. That's what we're talking about. Now, over the court again, guys, you know what it is. Y'all gotta tap in with us on all social platforms. That is the Apple Podcast, the Spotify, the iHeart, the Deezer, anywhere where they play a podcast, you will find this pod. So tap in with it, do the five stars, leave a review, check out other shows, like not very mature podcasts with me and Cheesa Fears, also Therapy and Motion with my homeboy King OJ, and of course, this pod here as well. We appreciate you guys as always for tapping in with the pod. I appreciate y'all, and until next time, peace.