Poems for Pearl

Befriending provides companionship for isolated people, the chance to develop a new relationship, and opportunities to participate in social activities.  This weeks guest, Dianne Wilson, is a Community Organiser, Social Worker, book lover and avid drummer.  In this episode she shares her story of befriending an elder member of the community and documents this in a number of poems.

Links:  https://linkinglives.uk

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:05

Welcome to Storytelling. This week's guest is a community organiser, social worker, book lover, and avid drummer. In this episode, she shares her story of befriending an elder member of the community and documents this in a number of poems. Please welcome Diane Wilson. Hello Diane and welcome to the podcast. Thank you, Debbie. Diane, you've written the most amazing poetry book about aging. Can you tell us the inspiration behind this book?

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Yes, I'm an independent visitor, which is part of a local befriending scheme. So I actually meet with an older lady. Her name is Pearl, she's 91 years old, and she's inspired me with everything I write.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

What are the benefits of being a befriender?

SPEAKER_00 1:02

For Pearl, it's having someone to talk to, to share with. As you get older, you need to have a listening ear, and she's able to relate her story to me, relate her life.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Diane, I invite you to read your first poem.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

My first poem is going to be called If Someone. If someone would listen, I would be more confident. If someone would listen, I would be safe. If someone would listen, I would make more progress. If someone would listen, I would have more energy. If someone would listen, I would not get confused. If someone would listen, I would not be called lost in my own world. I need someone to listen. I need someone to believe in me. I still believe in me.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

If someone that's very powerful, Diane. So what sort of conversations were you having with Pearl that inspired that poem?

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Pearl is always talking about her life. She likes to talk about things that have happened in the past. And talk about what things are happening to her now. You know, there's a sort of a loneliness as you get older. You know, your social network and friends are slowly diminishing. So for her, she's always sort of contemplating and thinking about where are my friends? Where are they? Why am I on my own? Why don't they call me? So it can be a sort of a lonely life for her.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

So that fervor inspired your next poem, which is called Reflection. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Reflection. Silent reflection about what was and no longer in your grasp. Time ticking away. No pause. Time a rotating guide. A desire to stop the clock of time, a pause to give me time to think and reflect. A flicker of confused thought. A need to stop and reflect on my thoughts. Where are they going? Why is my mind racing? Where are my friends? Miss Mary, Miss Hysen, Miss Sarah. Why don't they call me? Slow down. Not so fast. I need to think. I need to breathe. Time is running away.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

So it is precious time that Pearl has been experiencing. What are the sort of things that she says about that?

SPEAKER_00 3:38

It really depends on the on the day because sometimes Pearl is very happy and very joyful and she's got to talk about. And there's other times where she's very quiet and a little lonely because you know, as you get older and you're on your own, there's not always someone to talk to and to share with. And I think that is where Pearl sometimes gets a little bit sad and a little bit down, and that's where I come in, where I go and see her and we talk and she listens.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

What is the most valuable experience that you have learnt from being with Pearl?

SPEAKER_00 4:15

I think that the experience for me is actually having a smile, letting her laugh, listening to her, pausing and let her talk. And I think letting her talk, you know, she likes to reflect to my history. I think that's very precious for Pearl, and it sort of helps me to actually understand her and to understand her life. And what have you learned about aging? On aging, it's just such a big topic. You know, there are so many different experiences, and I think as people age and they gradually lose their friends and family members, it's sometimes there's a big loss, a big hole in people's heart and understanding. Especially when you're getting older and friends and family are sort of leaving you behind.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Is there a common theme amongst older people in terms of who they were before and who they are now?

SPEAKER_00 5:09

I think for Pearl, Pearl used to work in a nursing home, and one of the things she tells me regularly is that I looked after those older people with love. So as an older person now myself, I will not suffer because I shared love, I had an understanding of people's needs, and I treated them respectfully. And so as an older person now, I think that I'm receiving respect as well and I'm sharing my experiences.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Diane, please would you read your final poem?

SPEAKER_00 5:42

The person I was. The person I was is fading. The person I was no longer recognized. The person I was now struggling for recognition. The person I was still wants to be involved in day-to-day life. The person I was is lost to those around me. Friends no longer share conversation and laughter. No parties, no dancing. The person I was is fading.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Diane Wilson, thank you very much for your time.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Thank you, Debbie. Thank you for inviting me.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

If you would like to find out more about Befriending, then please follow the link in the show notes.