Connecting to Your Guidance Part I

066—Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads or feeling stuck, uncertain about what’s ahead? Have you wondered why something is happening or showing up in your life? What if you could just know? 

Each of us has access to a fountain of wisdom that stands ready to help us live our best lives. It’s our Guidance. And it’s within each of us. If you want to understand what it is and how to connect to it so you can fully benefit from its magic, join Mary as she delves into this enlightening subject.

To learn more about Mary's work with The Food Whisperers, please visit:
thefoodwhisperers.com

To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To learn more about having Mary connect you directly to your own spiritual guidance, visit:
maryobana.com/private-reading

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
maryobana.com/amazon

Transcript

Mary Obana 0:05 

I'm Mary Obana. Welcome to Shine. I’m all about friendly, soul-nourishing, spiritually-inspired conversations that expand perspectives and offer practical guidance so you can live joyfully and shine brightly. 

I believe:

Everyone has something special within them, a unique gift—a light you are to find and share with the world. You are here to shine. 

I believe:

You have a deep knowing; guidance that is ready to serve you. It is always available if you listen.

I believe:

You are here to live with complete joy and peace—nothing less. It’s just awaiting your allowing. 

Ready to get to it? Here we go!

Mary Obana 00:54

Hello there! It’s good to be back! In case you were wondering where I’ve been, I took some time off to spend with family this summer, but have been particularly busy working on something special. I am looking forward to sharing more about it when it’s time. I can’t wait so stay tuned!

I’m so glad you are joining me for this episode – this is a juicy one, so let’s jump right into it!

I’m going to start with a question:

What if you could tap into the wisdom and guidance of an all-knowing, infinite-loving intelligence that’s only goal is to help you live as your most awesome, fulfilled, joyful self? Would you be a YES for that?”

And what if I told you that you could access this infinite loving intelligence directly, whenever you wanted to, free of charge – would you be a yes for THAT?

On this podcast, I cover a range of topics in the hopes that the subjects might benefit you in some way, but if there was ONE thing I could do for you, I know it would be to help you feel connected to this source of wise, loving guidance. 

This subject is soooo big, but I am going to hone in on what this guidance is, where it comes from, why it’s valuable, how it shows up, how we can connect with it, what can obstruct it, the forms it can take, and all the tools we can use to cultivate it. But, this is too much to cover in one episode, so welcome to Part 1 of Connecting to Your Guidance, where I will cover half of all of this so let’s go!

We live in a world where it can be easy to feel disconnected, alone. With the barrage of polarizing issues and political divides, we can feel so separated from others – so disconnected. And with the struggles of daily life – it can be our relationships, our work, our finances, our family, our health, our unique circumstances, we can feel stuck. Sometimes we’d love just to know why things are happening, why we are feeling the way we are feeling—clarity on what we should know. Regardless of what has happened or what may be happening in your life right now, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You have access to the greatest wisdom and guidance of all.

So, who is with us? Is it a who? Is it a what? Where is this guidance coming from?

Some call it the Universe, Source, Spirit, the Divine, God, unbounded consciousness, just to name a few. You may not even have a name for it, but you know it exists. Sometimes, I think the power and energy of it all is almost too big to fully comprehend, let alone contain it in one word or name. How can our human brains possibly capture the essence of it all? Because it’s everything. It’s everywhere. It’s love. It’s joy. It’s constant. It’s never-ending. It’s all-knowing. It’s uncontainable. Perhaps even incomprehensible.

My understanding and appreciation of this all is ever-evolving. Because it can be challenging to get our heads around it, but personifying it—whether through a deity, a God, or spirit guides— can help us connect with its immensity. After all, we have to have some construct to even relate to this vast energy of goodness so we can relate to it; feel connected to it. But regardless of what we call it or how we define it, its presence is true. 

Now you might think you have to possess some unique gifts or some supernatural Ninja powers to connect with this, but the truth is we ALL are innately equipped with the ability to connect to this infinite loving intelligence because it is part of us. Each of us is connected to something larger than us… a loving energy that we cannot see though a presence that is there. Our highest self – the greatest expression of our soul – is connected to it. That inner wisdom is already within us. We are ALREADY connected. And we are guided by it because we are here for a reason. We have come into this life experience with purpose, spiritual beings having a human experience. And I believe that guidance is the connection we have to it.

I have to interrupt this for a second to tell you a funny story. When I was working on this episode, my son Kai popped in. He asked how it was going, and I shared what I was working on. I asked him the question I asked you, “What if you could tap into the wisdom and guidance of an all-knowing, infinite loving intelligence that’s only goal is to help you live as your most awesome, fulfilled, joyful self? Would you be a YES for that?”

I found his response illuminating.

He said, “Well, yeah, of course, but who are you talking to? Are your listeners already there, or are some not? I think it’s hard for people to process concepts that are foreign to them. What’s an infinite loving intelligence? Our brains have a way of rejecting, dismissing, or forgetting things that are confusing. If you really want to get your point across, relate this truth to what they have experienced already. The reality is we all are receiving guidance all the time. Maybe start by explaining or making sense of what they already have felt.”

Ha! I have come to appreciate more and more how Kai is in my life to teach me as much as I am to teach him. I guess that’s true for all of the people in our lives, isn’t it?

Kai is so right. We are all RECEIVING guidance all the time. Evidence that we are connected to it ALREADY! Let me explain.

GUIDANCE IS ALREADY PRESENT!

Do you know how sometimes you set off to do something, and things just flow, falling easily into place? It’s when you are running late for something important, but miraculously traffic and lights cooperate, and you end up arriving on time. It’s when someone mentions something to you seemingly off-handedly in a conversation that ends up playing a pivotal role in you landing a job, finding your new home, introducing you to a school that your kid ends up going to, or meeting a person who ends up playing a significant role in your life. You can call it a coincidence, but Swiss psychologist Carl Jung coined this phenomenon synchronicity. Jung believed that the occurrences we might think of as coincidences are not due to chance but show up instead to provide powerful insight, direction, and guidance. Yup… there it is. Guidance. 

So those seemingly chance encounters that lead to something meaningful aren’t random after all—guidance in action.

When you are experiencing things flowing with ease, naturally falling into place, that’s a big YES from our guidance for what you are doing.

Guidance comes in other forms, too. How about when you are trying to do something, and at every turn, you run into obstacles? It seems no matter how hard you try, things aren’t happening. It could be planning a trip, trying to make your way into a company, getting into a relationship, or working on a project—nothing but roadblocks.

When you are experiencing repeated roadblocks, that’s your guidance trying to nudge you in a more beneficial direction because the path you are trying isn’t in your highest good, meaning in complete sync with your soul’s purpose for learning and growth. Or maybe it’s because the timing isn’t quite right – there’s something more that you need to learn before engaging it whatever it is you are desiring. Why are you here? When I notice those roadblocks showing up in my own life, I start nodding… “Got it!” Well, actually, it goes more like this. I first think, “What the heck!!?? I mean, really!? What is going on!??” Then, it dawns on me – or, more accurately, that knowing plunks down, and THEN I say, “Ohhhh!!! Got it!” 

While these situations can be frustrating – I mean, who wants roadblocks, right? – when you run into or receive them repeatedly, they have a funny way of getting your attention. I’ve come to understand that these situations are gifts in disguise because they ultimately help us avoid those things that are keeping us from something better. Gosh, I remember when I was 25, right before I met Michael, I was dating this guy – honestly, he was kind of a jerk. But I remember being crushed when he broke up with me… over the phone, by the way. I couldn’t see then that that relationship was not for me. Then, Michael came into my life. Talk about making way for something amazing! 

Can you think of something you thought you really wanted and it didn’t happen, only to have something else emerge that was even better? This is guidance in action. Happening FOR you, not TO you.

In my family, we talk about this ALL the time. And it informs a perspective that helps so much. When there is something that we are struggling with, something that isn’t going as we might hope or expect, or something unfortunate occurs, we can wallow in it, feeding into our frustration and sadness, or we can look at it as containing something we are to learn, or know. We do this by asking why is this happening FOR me? It shifts our situation from a victim-mindset (why is this happening TO me) – being the recipient of crappy situations – to a more enabling perspective which has a magical way of lifting us, putting us back in the driver’s seat. Incorporating this perspective into our lives changes everything.

Guidance IS coming through. We just don’t always notice or attribute what’s happening to it. Or appreciate it in the moment. When you open yourself up even to the possibility that you are being guided, it changes the way you look at things, and you no longer look at yourself as a victim of your circumstance.

I mean, honestly, what do you have to lose? Imagine how adopting this perspective could change things for you. And the funny thing about it all is once you look at things this way, you start to see all the ways that guidance is present in your life. 

So, if it’s happening anyway, why do we need to even think about it? Why not just leave it be? 

Because there is so much more where that came from. 

CO-CREATION

See, we are constantly creating – new experiences, building our life. When we create from our egoic mind, the Ego gets fixated on certain things and specific outcomes. It’s uber-focused, so it gets set on how things must be and what success looks like. You can – and most of us do – create from this place, but there are some unavoidable glitches when creating from the Ego. First, it's very limiting because our egos focus on an outcome. Narrow. Myopic. It doesn’t allow for alternate possibilities. Second, our Ego can decide something that may not necessarily be right for us. It can be overly influenced by appearances and external judgments rather than what serves our highest and greatest good. It can convince us of things that aren’t aligned with what is best for us. And third, satisfaction is never lasting when it comes to the Ego. A trademark sign that your Ego is in the driver's seat? Peace is elusive. When we create exclusively from our Ego, the finish line keeps moving. The most active egos always convince us that there is something more to accomplish, have, or to do to give our life value. It tells us we haven’t done enough—that we aren’t enough.

But when we co-create with the conscious Universe and actively partner with all that beautiful, loving, wise guidance, we open ourselves to ALL possibilities, many we could never even imagine! And when we are creating from this place, we are always in alignment with our soul’s purpose, a meaningful, even instrumental path for our growth and development. When we partner with our guidance, we open ourselves to it ALL. When I think about the direction my life has taken – I mean, really! I could have never imagined it! I recently looked again at something I wrote on January 1st, 2020. My husband Michael and I were out of the business we had built and ready for our next chapter. In my MIND, I thought I didn’t want to run another business. I just wanted to work for a company that did great work, a place that would be spiritually fulfilling. I was answering the question, “What do I want to attract?”

I wrote, “A way I can use my unique God-given gifts to serve and spread light – to make others feel better! To contribute to making the world better. To help people be their most joyful, full, authentic, best selves! Light emits light which emits light! Light work! Yay!” Then on January 7th, less than a week later, I connected with my guidance – really connected. Then on January 18th, I wrote by book “Shine. A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World.” WHAT!??? I received what I wanted to attract in my life – it was just in a form I could never have imagined. I was working in partnership with that guidance, letting it all in and being open. 

Honestly, it’s just more FUN to live tapped into all that amazing guidance, working in partnership with it. There’s peace that comes with it. A knowing that you are exactly where you need to be. It’s not about being complacent or being static. You still have to take action; nothing happens without your active engagement and participation. It just comes with a feeling of contentment. To feel connected to it. To know you are not alone. So how do we more fully benefit from it all!? 

There are some key steps. Ready!?

Step 1: TRUST!

People always ask me, you say anyone can connect, but why can’t I receive it? Hear it? Get it? The answer is always related to interference, noise, and resistance. Tuning into your guidance requires turning down the thoughts churned out by your mind – specifically, the busy Ego that tells you not to trust or believe that you should feel threatened, embarrassed, or doubtful. That voice in your head that says, “You’re crazy!” “Come on, are you going to believe that stuff!? Really!??” “What are people going to think of you?” And for some of us, that voice is LOUD.

And it’s no wonder, right? From a very young age, we are not encouraged to hone our intuition; instead, we are taught to strengthen our rational minds and to distrust anything that cannot be proven or seen. So that natural intuitive ability isn’t nurtured. In fact, it’s often shut down. 

Trust is the act of placing confidence in something other than yourself. When we cannot trust, it’s because we are afraid of being disappointed or relinquishing control. But when you understand that the guidance is devoted to serving your highest good, when you trust that there is so much in motion FOR YOU that you cannot yet see, it allows you to let go, even just a little bit. This doesn’t mean giving up, this doesn’t mean being passive, it means holding a perspective that there is good operating on your behalf. It means letting go of the fear.

As I shared when talking about co-creation, our guidance is not constrained by the limits of our minds, by what WE think is possible, or by what WE think is best for us. It wants us to live as our most incredible, joyful, loving, fulfilled, and peaceful selves. So it’s always guiding us to the relationships, the people, the work, the experiences that will get us there. When we let go of OUR plans, trust in our guidance, and let go of our Ego’s attachment to our defined and constructed outcomes, we will make way for all that is possible.  

Step 2: Engage. ASK!

To benefit fully from all that is available to you, you have to engage. ASK for help, direction, and guidance. This idea of connecting to guidance was initially so foreign to me. I was not raised with spirituality, meaning when challenging situations would occur, we weren’t encouraged to turn to anything spiritual as a source of strength or support or interpret challenges from a spiritual perspective. I was raised in a material world – what you see is what you get. But truth be known, beneath it all, I always knew there was something more—a presence of something bigger than me. 

Then, when I started to be curious about it all, I read everything I could get my hands on, listened to interviews with spiritual luminaries, and occasionally connected with psychics who would tell me things. I would think that is SO fascinating! But never did I ever consider that I could receive that guidance directly. I always believed I had to go to someone uniquely gifted to help me. 

But then, I ASKED. I invited the guidance in. I started by writing in my journal, “Thank you, loving and compassionate guidance, for revealing to me what it is I must know for my highest good.” And because I had a pen in hand, I added, “Thank you for writing through me now.”

Once I started asking, it was like a new world opened up to me. And this is the cool thing about connecting actively to it. The more you do it, the more responsive it becomes. It’s like building a relationship. The more time you invest, the more active and familiar that connection becomes, and trust builds. And the more you notice its presence in your life every day.

Then, Step 3: Receive!

TAPPING INTO YOUR INTUITION

How do we receive this guidance?

Our intuition – our ability to connect to that guidance -- is innate, but just like a muscle, it requires use to strengthen it. There are natural forces that are invisible but available to us; connecting to them is like magic.

Connecting to and engaging with your guidance requires tuning into your intuition, that intuition that’s always there. Intuition is the ability to understand something immediately without needing conscious reasoning. It is to experience inner insight into its truth.

But that guidance wants to serve you so deeply that it tries to reach you in other ways, working its magic in the ways it can. So that’s why that supportive and loving energy shows up by helping to remove obstacles, so you move in flow – or create them, when necessary, to divert or re-route you to the places you need to be. We can connect with it in many ways – but they all require paying attention.

Synchronicities which we touched on already; 

Signs – seeing numbers that capture your attention because they hold personal meaning (like a birthdate or a favorite number), repeating or sequential numbers – like 1111, 1010, 1234…  the signs can be dragonflies, butterflies, or cardinals… a song on the radio with a profound lyric that speaks to you… the name of a loved one appears on a marquee, truck, or building you pass by. If you haven’t yet listened to my episode “Signs – The Magic and Mystery of the Universe,” check it out! Episode 52! So much fun!

Intuitive “hits” is another way we connect with our guidance. It can be a feeling to do something or not do something; it can be a message that pops in from nowhere that makes profound sense to you; it can be a knowing that you immediately trust; it can be an image that lands visually that speaks to you. They can be the smallest things, too. Every day sort of things.

Just this morning, I was listening to a talk and walked downstairs with my AirPods in my ears. When I took them off, I realized I didn’t have my case, so I walked upstairs to find it but didn’t see it anywhere, so I went to head downstairs when something made me turn around and look on the couch in my bedroom. It all happened so quickly that I didn’t even realize what was going on, but sure enough, hidden partially beneath a pillow, there it was. Do you know how I know it was guidance? Because I didn’t get that information through logic, through linear thinking. I hadn’t thought, ok, so where was I when I put them on? What was I doing? That instinct, information, intuition – popped right in from nowhere.

Recently I was talking to Kai as he was cooking. He’s got some serious culinary chops. I asked him how he knew to add an ingredient. He said, “Honestly, it was completely intuitive. If I had to give you a technical answer, I could explain that it needed some acid – and it did, but that’s not how I got there. It’s funny; most of my cooking is that way.” Kai is a gifted cook – his dishes are always delicious, well-balanced, and presented beautifully – because he says we eat with our eyes first.  But he admits it’s a highly intuitive process for him. He knows he is co-creating.

 When we’re connected to our guidance, it all happens naturally, seamlessly, and effortlessly. It just flows. When we’re in our heads, it happens more mechanically, methodically – requiring more energy, more deliberate effort. It feels like heavier lifting if you know what I mean. 

Ok, I have so much more I want to share with you. The various ways we can receive guidance and the tools! There are so many tools designed and available to help connect you with it. To work along with your innate intuition. I am going to save this for the next episode. But in the interim, start by paying more attention to the presence of that guidance in your life already. Once you start noticing, you begin to see it in all sorts of places. Things that happen like those synchronicities, those intuitive hits you receive, the signs you see… gosh, I was working with one of my coaching clients and she mentioned how much she has missed her beloved dog who died a few months back. She was out with her dad on his boat and she looked up and saw a cloud that looked exactly like her dog! You can live your life dismissing these things, chalking it up to your active imagination, or you can open yourself to the possibility of the presence of something that you can’t see. There are natural forces that are invisible but available to us; connecting to them is like magic. I, for one, think life is a whole lot more fun living this way. 

Trust, ask, and receive. Just start looking. Noticing. It’s really amazing! And listen to this again. And let me know how it goes! Email me at mary@maryobana.com or comment on my post about this episode on Instagram @obanamary to let me know how your guidance shows up for you. I can’t wait to hear your stories! Truly I can never get enough of them!

If you liked this episode, please rate and review it and leave your comments! I always want to know what you want to hear more of!

And stay tuned for the next episode -- Part II on Connecting to Your Guidance. I’ll share some tools you can use to help you engage with it. Soooo cool! Until next time, take it easy.