Awakening—What It Is and Why You Want It

051—Have you wondered why am I here? What is my purpose? Have you noticed a newfound curiosity, craving deep understanding that is more spiritual in nature? Have you become more selective about how you spend your time, your friends, what you read, and what you watch? Have you been drawn to those with whom you can have more substantive conversations?

You are awakening.

Listen to Mary as she shares the common signs of an awakening, what it is, when it happens, why you want it, and the five ways to support and nurture it.

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To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To learn more about having Mary connect you directly to your own spiritual guidance, visit:
maryobana.com/private-reading

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
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To learn more about Mary's work with The Food Whisperers, please visit:
thefoodwhisperers.com

To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To learn more about having Mary connect you directly to your own spiritual guidance, visit:
maryobana.com/private-reading

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
maryobana.com/amazon

Transcript

Mary Obana 0:05 

I'm Mary Obana. Welcome to Shine. I’m all about friendly, soul-nourishing, spiritually-inspired conversations that expand perspectives and offer practical guidance so you can live joyfully and shine brightly. 

I believe:

Everyone has something special within them, a unique gift—a light you are to find and share with the world. You are meant to shine. 

I believe:

You have a deep knowing; guidance that is ready to serve you. It is always available if you listen.

I believe:

You are meant to live with complete joy and peace—nothing less. It’s just awaiting your allowing. 

Ready to get to it? Here we go!

Mary Obana 00:52

Well hello! Thank you for being here.

It never ceases to amaze me how I am guided. How things always fall into place in magical ways.

Recently I gave a talk and led a discussion at a retreat that I host quarterly along with two of my favorite people. Together we set a theme – and it always seems I am guided on what that theme should be.

Preparing for these discussions is always a long process, starting many, many weeks in advance. But as the topic sits with me, there is always a confluence of things – a comment that is made in an interview I am listening to, a profound thought that pops off the page in a book I am reading, messages that come through for clients during sessions, and conversations with my husband or son, or friends—that all coalesce to form the arc of these talks. And I know I am meant to give them because I know they are meant to be heard.

This recent talk prompted beautiful discussions: with a friend on the way to the retreat, with our amazing attendees, and then in the days following with my family at home. As I thought about the relevance of this topic and its principles, it became clear I had to share it with others. 

Each of us is on a spiritual journey, whether we recognize it or not. And if you are listening to this, it’s because you are meant to hear it. So here it is.

The topic is AWAKENING. 

Mary Obana 02:32

The concept of spiritual awakening has been around for centuries and continues to be observed extensively in various cultures around the world. And I don’t know about you, but the idea of it used to seem a bit esoteric to me – something reserved for gurus or sages or monks after years of seclusion and meditation. And truth be told, this is a big topic that some have devoted their lives to understanding.

But, you know me – I love unpacking these things so we can access its principles in a way that makes sense so that we can apply them practically and enjoy their benefits in our everyday lives.

The idea of a spiritual awakening is actually quite simple: it’s when you AWAKEN to your life with a new perspective. 

So this is what we are going to tackle in this episode. 

1.     What are the common signs of an awakening? I mean how do we know it’s happening?

2.     What is it anyway?

3.     When does it happen?

4.     Why do we want it (also known as why should we care)?

5.     And how do we support and nurture it?

So let’s start. What are the common signs of an awakening?

I’m going to share a list of the common signs. There are over a dozen. Let’s see if any of these resonate with you… because you’ve already experienced them, or they currently have a presence in your life. As I go through them, make a mental note, yup, that’s true for me or nope not so much. Ready? 

1.     You have a newfound curiosity – you crave deep understanding. This means you have been drawn to books, podcasts, or workshops that are more spiritual in nature. You want—even NEED—to understand more. So that’s the first one. Newfound curiosity.

2.     “Teachers” find you. These aren’t always literal teachers. They can be new friends that come into your life at just the right time; it could be a stranger that says something provocative; it can be a podcast episode that resonates so strongly! They seem to appear for you to help you just when you need it.

3.     You feel spirituality increasing its importance in your life, playing a more significant role, becoming more of a priority.

4.     You are more aware and intuitive; your senses are heightened. You notice things, feel things, feel more “in tune” with yourself.

5.     You find yourself valuing authenticity. So this shows up as having a lower tolerance for things that feel superficial. Things that are out of integrity are hard to be around. Agreeing to something you don’t enjoy starts to weigh on you.

6.     The things that used to capture your interest… now, not so much. They might feel a bit stale or mundane to you, maybe even leaving you feeling drained after doing them.

7.     You become more selective about everything – how you spend your time, your friends, what you read, what you watch. You find yourself gravitating to people with whom you can have more honest, substantive conversations – and you notice how it affects your energy.

8.     You are drawn to simplicity, less accumulation, with a desire to reduce the clutter and excess around you.

9.     You feel in limbo – either the direction you have been following no longer feels right, or you are in between, not knowing exactly where to go next.

10.  You are seeking more meaning and purpose. You have a deep knowing that something is missing, but you maybe haven’t quite put your finger on it. You’ve been compelled to make changes of some kind – where you live, what you do, finding a new career path.

11.  You want to make the world a better place, even if you haven’t figured out exactly how. These aren’t motivated by monetary gain or prestige but primarily by impact – on society, a community, or individuals.

12.  You feel this internal struggle between what you would really truly LOVE to do and what you (or others) think you SHOULD do

13.  You feel more empathetic and compassionate and more accepting of others

14.  You feel more connected to nature and animals

15.  You have lucid dreams. This is when you are dreaming and you are aware you are dreaming – but instead of just waking up, you might even control your dream. They often contain messages of guidance.

16.  And finally synchronicities! These are occurrences of events that feel significant but have no causal connection. So for example you were just thinking about an old friend you haven’t been connected with in ages, and suddenly they pop up on your social feed or call you out of the blue. Maybe you see the same sequence of numbers at different times and from various sources. Seeing numbers repeatedly. It can be numbers of significance, like a birthday, but whatever it is, you see them again and again. I always see repeating 1’s whether it’s on my phone, the time remaining when watching a game on tv, the total on a grocery store receipt, the number of miles left before I need gas. It’s crazy right! These synchronicities. This is what they can look like.

Ok so that’s the list. Thinking about the number to times you said YES that’s familiar. Were you surprised? If you had none, then your awakening is ahead of you. If you had a few, you are entering into the period of awakening. If you had a hefty number of them, you are smack dab in its midst. Welcome to your awakening.

Mary Obana 09:16

So WHEN does this happen? When do our awakenings show up?

Well, it varies from soul to soul – but when it happens, it is the EXACT right time. 

Sometimes it can be triggered by an event. Say a landmark birthday. A loss of some kind – a loss of a loved one, or a loss of a relationship. It can be brought on by a health scare or diagnosis, an accident. Or a change — a new job, graduating from college, your kids are going away to college, an empty nest. It can be any occasion when the momentum of the habitual doing stops. When life as you know it changes. The pandemic, for some, was just such an occasion.

But it can also be completely spontaneous. A spiritual door of some kind opens.

It has nothing to do with your age – it has everything to do with when your soul is ready to be honored, to emerge because YOU are prepared for the reconnection to it— a realignment with who you are. And though it can be accompanied by uncertainty or confusion, this is a time to be celebrated! There is NOTHING to fear. This is a time to be embraced. 

So what is an awakening anyway? 

It’s a time in your life experience to be absolutely treasured. When that veil between your true self and the false self begins to wane, and the truth of who you are can no longer be suppressed. 

You see, we have two forces that drive us:

The first one is our TRUE SELF. Our true self lives WITHIN US. It comes from our SOUL. That innately resolute, confident, knowing, unapologetic, loving, gifted, compassionate, connected soul that JUST IS.

The second force is our FALSE SELF. Our false self lives EXTERNAL TO US. Because it comes from our MIND. And yes, our minds are EXTERNAL to us. It is CREATED by our thoughts and our upbringing, our society, our conditioning… with the help of our EGO – that part of our mind that tries to control our thinking and behavior. And it’s really good at it. And instead of being who we truly are, we unconsciously identify with our mind – we confuse ourselves as BEING IT.

The EGO comes from THOUGHT. Our true self JUST IS.

In the past episode, the last one – Episode 050 – I go into the Ego in great detail, which I encourage you to listen to if you haven’t already.

This is how the EGO works. ANY image you have of yourself that gives you identity – the house you live in, your job or title, the car you drive, the school you went to, the degrees you hold, the community you live in, your political affiliation, your stance on issues… the list goes on and on. If you identify yourself through it, and it defines how you are DIFFERENT from others, your Ego is fast at work.

It convinces us that “I am what I HAVE,” “I am what I DO,” and “I am my reputation -- what others THINK OF ME.”
 
 The EGO preys on separation, convincing us that we are SEPARATE from everyone else. This is how it undermines our connection to our true self, which in truth is connected to ALL.

Rather than what we have in common with everyone, the EGO forces us to focus on what makes us DIFFERENT. Being right consumes us. This is where wars stem from – whether between people, family members, friends, or nations.

The Ego constantly compares us to others. We’re smarter, prettier, more talented, wealthier, better… but it’s not just these more “positive” thoughts. It also makes us feel less accomplished, less intelligent, less affluent, less successful, even a disappointment. This is where feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness come from. 

When we live in our minds, we focus our energy on this insatiable drive to prove ourselves relative to others. We judge—others and ourselves. This is where unwanted feelings come from: 

Worry, stress, anxiety, guilt, remorse, unworthiness, dissatisfaction, disappointment, insecurity, jealousy, anger, blame, overwhelm, impatience, frustration, irritation, despair, fear.
 
 

We associate ourselves with what we have created in our minds, becoming more disconnected from one another and ourselves. And we can find ourselves in these downward negative spirals.

Mary Obana 15:06

What does it feel like to be out of alignment?

Things are difficult
 
 

There’s a lot of resistance
 
 

Things feel heavy, experiences feel like a struggle
 
 

Relationships have conflict
 
 

You feel stressed, anxious, worried. You feel regret, guilt.  
 
 

You feel a tightness within you; maybe you don’t sleep well, your body feels heavy, you have low energy, you feel drained. 

You live with fear. All you can think about is what is wrong or what can go wrong.
 
 

You don’t feel “yourself.”
 
 

You are living in your head.

When you’re living under the influence of the Ego, you are not living as YOU. You’re in your head. You are living as your False Self.

When you are NOT feeling the way you want, you are living in your mind. With all the stories you have convinced yourself of. If you don’t do something, people will think you’re a failure or weak or incapable. If you tell someone how you really feel, they will believe this or that of you. 

If you have resistance to something, it’s because of something your mind has led you to believe. The resistance can be about big things or little things. 

We accumulate all these stories. Here’s a simple one. A friend of mine shared this great example. Her daughter explained over dinner one night how much journaling and writing things down help her. And she shared that she thought her parents were both blocked and needed to work on writing things down on paper – that it would help. (Don’t you just love how they have this honest conversation! I absolutely LOVE THIS! Such a beautiful family!) When my friend and her husband thought about it, they realized that they never journaled when they were young for fear their brothers would find it. A fear of vulnerability or not being safe became associated with journaling. That fear subconsciously never went away, and they carried it unknowingly into adulthood. 

This happens to all of us. These thoughts and stories that we pick up and accumulate during our lifetime turn into beliefs, many buried deep within our subconscious regardless of whether they are later relevant in our lives or not.

You are not the stories your mind has conditioned you to believe. 

When you live in your head, you are further away from the true you. And the bigger the gap, the greater the suffering.

But it isn't without value when we find ourselves in a place we don’t like, feeling a way we don’t want to feel.

First, it has a way of capturing your attention in a very interesting way because it needs to. 

Second, if all things were always PERFECT, there would be no need for this life experience. Our challenges push and, at times, even break us open. But this pushing and breaking create room for our souls to expand. That’s why we come here. The experiences we are given – both the super flowy stuff and the challenging alike – are important. All of it has VALUE. All of it contributes to our growth. 

And third, it makes the RETURN to your true self all the more spectacular!

Mary Obana 18:35

So what does an awakened life feel like? 

·      You experience a deep sense of lasting inner peace, joy, and contentment

·      You trust and surrender to the flow of life

·      You realize you are in control of your reality
 
 

·      You recognize there is no wrong or right way – there is a natural acceptance of what is, without the need to change or control others. There is recognition and understanding that everyone is on their own journey.
 
 

·      Coming from a place of love comes naturally, and it brings a natural playfulness and positivity 

·      You let go of the stories you have carried and the feelings that no longer serve you
 
 

·      You no longer wait for a decision, another’s action, or a change of circumstance to bring you peace because you KNOW that peace doesn’t come from outside.
 
 

·      You witness miracles, feel abundance, experience healing, your relationships lose friction
 
 

·      You have genuine feelings of appreciation and freedom
 
 

·      Pathways open up for you
 
 

·      Things pour effortlessly out of you and through you: ideas, creativity, solutions – because the resistance has been removed.
 
 

·      And you connect with your spiritual guidance. Because when you disconnect with and quiet your mind, you lose the fear and the doubt and the skepticism, and you make way for all the possibilities. Our guidance comes from pure love. When you lose the fear and connect with your true self, you ARE LOVE. So it’s easy, it’s easy to hear, it’s easy to feel, it’s easy to see and easy to sense all the guidance. It’s beautiful. And effortless.

Living in alignment with your true self is beautiful and there is nothing more beautiful than the true YOU; nothing that brings light to the world more than you. 
 
 Returning to you is like coming home. You will always struggle to be who you think you should be. You will never struggle to be WHO YOU ARE. 
 
 So awakening? There is no struggle, no yearning. Just pure joy, complete fulfillment, unconditional love, and peace at last.

Mary Obana 21:15

So how can you support and nurture your awakening? There are five things to know.

First, quiet that mind. And the Ego. And the false self. You can do this through meditation or any number of practices that enable you to be in the moment, not in the past, not in the future, no in the head. Just with what IS. So quiet the mind.

Second, get in tune with your energy! It is guiding you! Pay attention to the way you FEEL. When you are doing things that energize and fuel you—that’s guidance saying do more of that! Conversely, when you are doing something that drains you or feels soul-robbing—that’s guidance saying do less of that. You are meant to live feeling energized, vibrating high, seeing life with optimism and possibility. Get in tune with your energy and listen to it. Follow the joy. It’s like breadcrumbs back to your soul. 

Third, honor your truth, meaning be true to yourself. Let go of those mind thoughts that convince you to put everyone else before you. That you should feel bad or guilty if you do what you want. Nurturing and supporting your awakening means getting in tune and in alignment with what rings true to you and for you. And to follow and honor it. So third, honor your truth.

Fourth, trust that the Universe and your guidance is always supporting you. Let go of the doubt and the wondering. There is so much you cannot see. KNOW that when things happen, there is a bigger thing at play. Living with this acceptance and understanding makes room to just BE. Trust is a beautiful thing.

And finally, remove the resistance and ALLOW. Stop the exhausting forcing and fighting and controlling – all the fear – you know where that comes from! Hold on to the feeling of having what you want and allow your magnificent path to unfold for you. The Universe wants for you more than you can possibly imagine. Take down those walls and allow all the good stuff to unfold. 
 
 

Your awakening is what you are meant to experience. It’s a return to who you are. I love the way Deepak Chopra phrased it:

"Awakening is not changing who you are but discarding who you are not.”

When you shed that false self, the true you can emerge at last. And along with it a deep sense of lasting inner peace, joy, and contentment. Because you have come home at last.

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Thank you for the love!

I am so glad you have joined me for this Awakening episode. The fact you are here means you were meant to hear it. So trust that.

Thanks for joining me today. Until next time, take it easy.