You Aren't What You THINK

056—Our lives are supposed to be joyful, flowing smoothly as we appreciate each moment for what it is. No expectations, no analyzing, just being with it. We see things. We hear things. We do things. We move effortlessly through things. Life’s a gift.

But this isn’t the way it always goes.

Have you ever had a day going well, but something just set you off? Have you felt hurt by something someone did or said, and the feeling felt familiar? Have you felt undeserving, not smart enough, or disconnected from others?

In this episode, Mary helps us understand what is going on, so we can live our lives with the joy and peace we desire.

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To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To learn more about having Mary connect you directly to your own spiritual guidance, visit:
maryobana.com/private-reading

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
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To learn more about Mary's work with The Food Whisperers, please visit:
thefoodwhisperers.com

To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To learn more about having Mary connect you directly to your own spiritual guidance, visit:
maryobana.com/private-reading

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
maryobana.com/amazon

Transcript

Mary Obana 0:05 

I'm Mary Obana. Welcome to Shine. I’m all about friendly, soul-nourishing, spiritually-inspired conversations that expand perspectives and offer practical guidance so you can live joyfully and shine brightly. 

I believe:

Everyone has something special within them, a unique gift—a light you are to find and share with the world. You are meant to shine. 

I believe:

You have a deep knowing; guidance that is ready to serve you. It is always available if you listen.

I believe:

You are meant to live with complete joy and peace—nothing less. It’s just awaiting your allowing. 

Ready to get to it? Here we go!

Mary Obana 00:54

So let me ask you a question. Who are you?

Many, particularly in the western world, might start listing their roles – a parent, a spouse, a sibling within a family. Maybe they’d share what they DO – where they work, their vocation, their title, or where they go to school. Or perhaps something they’re proud of – an accomplishment or feat… how they spend their time. And while these are all perfectly appropriate fodder for a conversation with a new acquaintance, the truth is you aren’t what you THINK.

This is what we are going to unpack today in this episode. I’m glad you are here.

You’ve heard me say many times that we are meant to live with joy and peace; if we want it, it IS accessible to us. So why, then, is there so much pain and heartache? Feelings of frustration or anger, disconnection, and loneliness? Why is it that we can be going along our merry way, and suddenly something sets us off, completely altering our mood? What is that all about?

Our thoughts. That’s what that’s all about.

Huh!?

Let me explain. 

Life is to be enjoyed, experienced. The more open we are to our moment-to-moment experiences, the greater our well-being. Our joy. Beautiful energy just freely moves through us. Life just flows as we appreciate each moment for what it is. No expectations, no analyzing, just being with it. We see things. We hear things. We do things. We move effortlessly through things. Life’s a gift.

But this isn’t the way it always goes because we block the flow.

Throughout our life, we collect things. Yup, we are collectors. And it starts early. We weren’t invited to a first-grade birthday party, which made us sad. We keep that one. We don’t do well in gym class, so we decide we aren’t athletic. Keep that one. A parent forgot to pick us up when they were supposed to. Keep that one. We lose out on a job we thought for sure we’d get. Keep that one. 

And each of these experiences is associated with thoughts we created to help us understand why such a thing may have happened. I’m unlikeable. I’m bad at sports. I don’t matter. I’m not smart enough. And we store them, each one like a brick.

Then, when something happens later that makes us feel like we did from one of these early experiences, we hold on to that one too and add it to the familiar pile. And as each “like-pile” grows larger, our triggers grow ever stronger, each time bringing us right back to the first experience we held on to. These painful thoughts strengthen their hold on us, reinforcing the feeling that we are unimportant, unsafe, not good enough, undeserving, or guilty. And the more of these proverbial bricks we collect, the more ardent we become in their truth. Our thoughts become beliefs about ourselves that we hold deep within us. And they weigh us down.

Then, if we encounter an experience that has even the faintest familiarity, our thoughts kick in, and we unconsciously attach meaning to what might be a completely innocent circumstance. Our bricks pile up, forming walls of resistance, making it nearly impossible to live with the lightness that allows our life experiences to flow delightfully through us.

Thoughts create pain. Thoughts create dissonance. Thoughts create disappointment. Thoughts create all the unwanted feelings that you carry. But these thoughts are just thoughts. 

And YOU are not your thoughts. You are not what you THINK.

So who ARE YOU?

You are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. Have you heard that before?

Deep within you, the essence of you, the truth of you, is your soul. And your soul is pure love. Who and what you are is love. And you are connected to everyone and everything through love. Nothing brings more peace and joy than feeling connected. Connected to who you are, to the truth of you—and to those you love.

Your thoughts make you feel disconnected. 

Living with consciousness is recognizing you are the observer of your thoughts. You are the observer of everything. Spirituality is the ultimate understanding that you are the soul within you; you are not your thoughts. You are not even your body. Living with this understanding is like gold!

Your true self always wants to BE. But it gets weighed down, covered up, by those bricks that we collect – all those thoughts that cause you to say things out of hurt or feel something out of pain. Those bricks weigh you down and create a wall keeping you from who you truly are.

The mind is beautiful, and the mind can be a prison. Allow yourself to see it for what it is, use it for what it is, and understand the relationship you have with it and the truth beneath all of it. 

This is when you find peace. This is when you live your days with positivity and possibility when you see others as love when you feel from others nothing but love. When you choose to see the love that is all around and the love in EVERYBODY, when you acknowledge this truth within yourself, you can see this truth within others. 

It can be difficult to see this truth in others when others have done things to you - they have made you feel a certain way. It is difficult to find love when such pain exists. But when you within yourself understand this truth, when you within yourself acknowledge this truth, when you understand you are not your thoughts that cause you to say things, feel things, do things that you don’t feel great about. When you understand that you are not that and are love, YOU can see yourself as the love that you are. And it is THEN that you can see the love in others. The love that THEY ARE.  

Our spiritual journey is the recognition of this truth: that you are love and are connected to everyone and everything, and to the greatest source of all through love – call it God, call it Source energy, call it the Universe. That it is all within you. Within each of us. Returning to this understanding, acknowledging this truth is where peace exists. This is when you can fully step into the truth of who you are - the beautiful soul that you are. You recognize that all pain comes from thoughts. And you do not need to have those thoughts! 

So why do thoughts even exist? Why are we given the option to be in pain? Because when you have the contrast of what it is, you THINK, and you recognize and rediscover the truth of what it is, there is nothing more beautiful, brilliant, and illuminating. And this appreciation and understanding of what is grows ever stronger, and the love within you expands, and the light within you grows larger. Your default state is love because that is who you are, but you cover it up with all the thoughts, with all the pain, with all the stories, and it is not serving you. It is not who you are.  You are not the thoughts. 

So when you are feeling pain or frustration, disappointment or loneliness, step away from your thoughts. And observe them. What are your thoughts saying to you? Are they making you feel unworthy or afraid? Are they making you worried about something that hasn’t even happened? Are they making you replay something in the past, making you feel guilty or upset? I heard someone say recently, “I’ve never met ONE person, regardless of how much time they have spent, who has changed the past by thinking about it!” Is any of this happening now? Usually NOT. Break away from your thoughts. Notice yourself as the observer of the thoughts. Once you do, you will see them for what they are and untangle yourself from their grip. Again, the mind is beautiful, but the mind can be a trap. Allow yourself to see it for what it is, use it for what it is, understand your relationship with it and see the truth beneath it. It will set you free.

Shakespeare said, "there's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
 
 

To be who you are, you have to let go of who you think you are. The growth is in letting go.

If you know someone who can benefit from this episode, please share it with them.

Thank you for joining me today. Until next time, take it easy.