Spirituality: A Perspective & Tools

060—What happens when life throws us curveballs? Are we equipped to deal with them? 

What does it mean to be spiritual? Religious? Is there a difference? And aside from the epic existential questions spirituality can help us navigate, are there everyday benefits to being spiritual?

These are the questions Mary tackles in this episode, sharing how an accident helped her see the role spirituality played for her.

To learn more about Mary's work with The Food Whisperers, please visit:
thefoodwhisperers.com

To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To learn more about having Mary connect you directly to your own spiritual guidance, visit:
maryobana.com/private-reading

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
maryobana.com/amazon

Transcript

I'm Mary Obana. Welcome to Shine. I’m all about friendly, soul-nourishing, spiritually-inspired conversations that expand perspectives and offer practical guidance so you can live joyfully and shine brightly. 

I believe:

Everyone has something special within them, a unique gift—a light you are to find and share with the world. You are here to shine. 

I believe:

You have a deep knowing; guidance that is ready to serve you. It is always available if you listen.

I believe:

You are here to live with complete joy and peace—nothing less. It’s just awaiting your allowing. 

Ready to get to it? Here we go!

Well, hello! Thanks for being here!

It’s kind of hard to believe, but one thing we’ve never tackled head-on in this podcast is spirituality. What it is, and how it can help us in our day-to-day lives. 

There are so many things… principles I have learned over my spiritual journey, but the one thing I feel deeply is my connection to something larger than me, an energy, a force that I cannot see though a presence I know is there. 

Spirituality is personal. For one, it might be grounded in a specific religious practice; for others, it might be a sense of connectedness to a higher power of your own understanding – your higher self, the Universe, nature, and humanity at large. Some might feel this connection under certain circumstances, such as going to church, participating in religious traditions, sitting in meditation, practicing yoga, or walking on the beach. Others might feel it always.

Is there a difference between religion and spirituality? The word religion comes from the Latin word “religare,” which means “to bind together.” It is said that a religion organizes the collective spiritual experiences of a group of people into a system of beliefs and practices. Religiosity refers to the degree of participation in or adherence to the beliefs and practices of an organized religion. 

Spirituality comes from the Latin word “spiritualitas,” which means “breath.” This is a broader concept than religion which includes a quest for meaning and purpose, transcendence (the sense that to be human is more than a simple material existence), connectedness – whether to nature, humanity, or the Divine, and values (love, compassion, and justice). Some people might think of themselves as spiritual but do not practice or engage in organized religion. However, others who consider themselves religious may also identify with a broader definition of spirituality.

Generally speaking, the main differences are that spirituality can be practiced individually, whereas religion is typically practiced in a community. Spirituality does not have an identified set of rules, whereas religion is generally associated with specific traditions and customs.

Spirituality often focuses on a personal journey or discovery, what is meaningful to them, and their life path; religion is often associated with a god or deity, religious texts, and traditions. For this podcast, I’m just going to call it spirituality.

So why am I discussing this? 

Because I think of a spiritual journey as one of learning and discovery, I think of spirituality as a recognition that there is more than the material; a connection to something greater. There’s so much to spirituality. Existentialism – why am I here? Who am I? Am I alone? How am I to evolve? What happens when we die? The greatest questions of human existence. But then there’s the practical, the everyday. 

Why? How does spirituality affect me? Are there practical benefits of incorporating spirituality into your life every day?

Well, for starters, there is a massive amount of research on spirituality's clinical implications on our mental and physical health. The NIH published a comprehensive report of this research based on a systematic review of hundreds of original data-based quantitative analyses published in peer-reviewed journals between 1872 and 2010. The findings? A majority of the nearly 350 studies of physical health and 850 studies of mental health that have used religious and spiritual variables have found that they are associated with better health outcomes. Those with spirituality live longer and have less cardiovascular disease, lower blood pressure, less hypertension, fewer and shorter hospital stays, and enhanced disease resistance. And when it comes to mental health, those with spirituality have lower rates of depression and anxiety and significantly better coping mechanisms during physical illness and stressful life events resulting in higher quality of life levels.

So there’s that!

But I can’t help but feel that spirituality is a perspective. And you know me, I am a big believer that our perspective shapes our experiences. Aside from the big existential questions, how does spirituality take shape – how does it show up -- in our everyday lives?

Well, unexpectedly, a recent personal experience helped me see just how. Let me share the story.

A few weeks ago, my husband Michael and I went to Sun Valley, Idaho. Some good friends have family in that area and encouraged us to visit while they were there. We thought, “How fun! We could snowboard and experience an area we hadn’t visited before. Let’s do it!” We got busy booking flights, accommodations, a car… all the usual. 

We love staying in Airbnbs – we always find the coolest places. We booked this cozy ski chalet perched above the town with floor-to-ceiling windows and 360-degree views of the mountains. It looked perfect. A large wood-burning stove, a great kitchen, a wrap-around deck with beautiful views, and it was within walking distance of town. The reviews were great, too, so long as we were ok trekking up the steep 40+ stairs to get there. No problem! We booked it.

As the trip approached, a dear friend from college shared that they had a vacation home in Sun Valley, and our trips overlapped for a couple of days, so we would get to see each other. Yay! Then he said, “You should stay with us. There’s plenty of room, and after we leave, you can have the place to yourselves. Cancel that Airbnb!” So we did. So sweet! And honestly, I’ve never had an Airbnb with such a generous cancellation policy – so it worked out great.

So off we went. We arrived late on Sunday and got settled on Monday, hooking up with our other friends bopping around town, renting equipment, etc. Then Tuesday, we hit the slopes! We boarded and skied, getting in some morning runs, then we headed to another part of the mountain. Onto the chairlift we went. The chairlifts all morning were those high-speed detachable quads – they stop when you get to the top, so as a snowboarder, instead of riding off the lift, you have to take your unattached right foot and walk it on the snow to get off. But the lift we were on this time… was different. And as I got off the chairlift, I instinctively dropped my right foot on the snow to walk it down when the lift didn’t stop. Sooooo, my board went to the left, and my body to the right, and I cranked my attached-to-the-board left leg clockwise… holy crap. Uh oh. At that moment, I knew I had done something bad. Really bad.

Three breaks, a 4-hour surgery, a 33 cm titanium rod through my tibia extending from my knee to my ankle, a plate on my fibula, and ten screws later, here I am! It hurt like a mother, I'm not gonna lie, but boy, am I grateful! The mountain was just 5 mins from a state-of-the-art hospital, a seasoned and talented orthopedic surgeon who does this far too frequently, and the kindness of friends and strangers...

Back to my spirituality… boy, did I count on all that spiritual energy that day and the days to follow. To withstand the screaming pain and the discomfort felt with every bump on the toboggan ride as the kind and skilled ski patrol brought me down the mountain, I immediately leaned on my meditation practice. Breathing. Finding a way to that place of peace where pain somehow couldn’t reach me.

To endure the first night of sleep after the accident and before surgery the following day, I was given some heavy pain medication. I didn't want to take it. But with hours remaining before I could safely take my next dose of ibuprofen, I lay there in bed, and the pain seemed to escalate. I opened the bottle of those pain meds, placed one tablet in my hand then called on my angels and guides to work their magic. "Thank you for the healing energy and for providing comfort so I can get a good night's sleep before my surgery tomorrow!" The next thing I knew, I had slept 7 hours. The pill had rolled out of my hand and onto the comforter, where I found it the next morning. Wow, right!?

I thanked all that beautiful energy for working through the orthopedic surgeon that day, and my friend laughed when the nurse asked me pre-surgery what my anxiety level was that morning on a scale of 1 to 10. I said zero. And meant it. I knew I was in good hands.

There were so many things that went my way. The generous invitation to stay at my dear friend’s home instead of that ski chalet with over 40 steep steps. A game-time decision to rent equipment just for the day in case we decided to work in some snowshoeing and hit the mountain in 2 days instead of the next. The skilled surgeon that was on call that day. A 12-72 hour nerve block that lasted the full 72 hours. The ability to extend our stay effortlessly - accommodations, flights, and dog sitter were all available. A left leg injury, so I can still drive. The list goes on.

I’ve often said that gratitude is the choice to see the gift in all things. I know there were so many gifts held within this unexpected experience. I have a very strong spiritual sensibility, I’ll call it, and I know it affects my perspective. But this experience accentuated just how. Upon reflection, I instinctively leaned on that spirituality. I KNEW that my surgeon was not operating alone. I KNEW that a lot of loving guidance was working through him. 

Michael asked if I believed this accident was meant to occur, with so many things seeming to align to support me even before it happened. This is the way I think about it. Pain and anguish are never MEANT to occur for any of us. I don’t believe this is the way the Universe works. But there is something powerful about the alignment of energy, so when unfortunate things do happen, there are lessons and gifts present within these things if we choose to see them. 

Are events put in place for us? I think of it more as the energy of the moment. We all have free will and choice, so any moment can be changed in an instant because of that. But the moment that is, the moment that comes, the moment that energy is able to connect, I believe in THAT moment we can be Divinely guided, helped along. 

Let’s say you are a survivalist. You train in all things Bear Grylls – you know, the British SAS-trained adventurist. Then your plane crashes. Did the plane crash because you were trained in survival, or did your training prepare you for survival? Spirituality gives us tools for life.

So, what about that energy that is greater than us? Is it separate from us? I leaned heavily on my connection with that power that is greater than me through this accident – and countless other times in my life, but the energy that is greater than us is CONNECTED to us. That energy is WITHIN us. That energy IS US.  

I used to think of it as this grand, powerful energy that lived outside of us – that it was separate from us. It was something we had to call on to come to us. But I now know that energy is connected to us; that energy is actually WITHIN us. And do you know what that means? It means it is accessible to every one of us. We can ALL call upon that energy to serve our highest good. Each one of us, whenever we need it.

Everyone can lean on this, connect with this, to draw on the power of this loving, positive energy. There is this misunderstanding that it is separate, only bestowed on those who behave a certain way and who follow specific rules. The energy of love is always accessible to ALL of us. To every soul. There is no distance. There is no separation. The only separation that exists is created when we put resistance in the way. Connecting to the loving energy, that is, feeling connected to the loving energy, that is, knowing that the loving energy is accessible and within you, allows you to lean on that energy when you need it most. 

And positive thinking, that positive energy, has its own impact. Energy is constantly being transmitted and received. Imagine going into surgery with a patient who is cranky and focused on everything going wrong vs. another who trusts that you are going to nail it because you will! 

My experience gave me an opportunity, an obvious clear opportunity, to call on that energy, and I did. And there it was. The healing energy worked through me. The talented, skilled energy of love worked through my surgeon. The energy of love and kindness from my beautiful friends who were present for me and supported me was right there.

But you know what? It’s always there. When things don’t go how I want them to, I trust that there’s something in motion that I cannot yet appreciate. So instead of fighting or filling myself with anger, frustration, or despair, I accept what is, knowing deep within me that something better is in store for me. This doesn’t mean I do nothing. It means I move forward with a feeling of trust and peace. And look for the gifts within everything.
 
 Recently I met this lovely woman. We discussed this very thing when she shared how her husband had something happen that put him on disability, so he was out of work and had to stay home for a while. It was hard on them, as you can imagine. But while he was out of work, they got pregnant (yay!), but the first trimester was hard – she had terrible morning sickness. She was so grateful he was home with her. Then he got a job opportunity that he would never have considered had that unfortunate circumstance placing him out of work not occurred. What gifts! We just can’t always see what is moving toward us. So, this is the lesson. When unwanted things show up in our lives, leaning on that spiritual energy during those moments and trusting that you are not alone and will be supported allows you to live with peace and trust, not fear. And that’s a beautiful thing, indeed.

Loving support is always available to each one of us. Knowing and understanding this beautiful truth brings peace because you realize you are not alone; you are connected to the most extraordinary energy of all. The energy of love connects all of us. This is the benefit of living with this knowing. THIS is the benefit of spirituality. The peace, the support, the love, it is always there. It is always there. Do you choose to receive it? Do you choose to connect with it? Do you choose to believe it is so? To see it? Choice. Free will. Each of us has it, and we make choices every moment. Are there reasons to be scared? If you think it is so. Are there reasons not to be scared? If you feel it to be so. We get to choose. To access this beautiful energy, we just need to let go of the resistance of the mind that tells us to be skeptical, that tells us it is not so. 

So spirituality. It has proven evidence-based benefits to our physical and mental health and has an extraordinary ability to support us in the most challenging times. A belief? Maybe. I think of it more as a knowing that shapes our perspective, the way we see circumstances of all kinds. When things happen. When news comes our way, whether fortunate or unfortunate. In good times and challenging times. It’s how we see things. How do you see things? 

We aren’t alone. That loving, supportive energy is available to us. Accessible to us whenever we need it. If and when we choose. I’m grateful for my broken leg (sounds funny, huh!) – because I realize how instinctively I leaned on my spirituality – all those tools that have been given to me and that we all have access to. And I realized how much it helped. As of the time of this recording, it has been less than four weeks since my accident and surgery. My recovery has been speedy and pain-free. Honestly, things couldn’t have gone more smoothly. So I stand here (well, actually sit here!) grateful for all of it and comforted by the knowing that I’ll never have to be without my spirituality. I can’t imagine living without it. It is part of me. It is me.

When things happen in our lives, we always have a choice. How do we see it? What tools do we have to lean on when we need them? We choose it all. Bringing it in or resisting it. It’s always ours to choose! How will you choose?

I’m so glad you listened today. Wherever you are, even if in the most challenging of times, know you are not alone. You don’t have to adhere to specific rules to access it. It’s available to each and every one of us. And that is something to be grateful for, indeed!

Thank you for joining me. Until next time, take it easy.