Being YOU

065—This is a re-release of an episode from 2020 whose subject is as relevant today as ever. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you know what you want and what you need to do, but you struggle to do it? It can be stuck in a job you don't enjoy, but you stay anyway. It can be finding yourself in a relationship you know you shouldn't be in, but you don't make a change. It can be majoring in something in college because it's what you think your parents want you to do, rather than pursuing what you truly love. It's pretending to be someone you think society wants you to be, but you know it's not who you really are.

Honoring and being who you truly are is the only path to peace.

Listen to this episode. There's a message in it for everyone.

To learn more about Mary's work with The Food Whisperers, please visit:
thefoodwhisperers.com

To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To learn more about having Mary connect you directly to your own spiritual guidance, visit:
maryobana.com/private-reading

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
maryobana.com/amazon

Transcript

Mary Obana 0:05 

I'm Mary Obana. Welcome to Shine. I’m all about friendly, soul-nourishing, spiritually-inspired conversations that expand perspectives and offer practical guidance so you can live joyfully and shine brightly. 

I believe:

Everyone has something special within them, a unique gift—a light you are to find and share with the world. You are here to shine. 

I believe:

You have a deep knowing; guidance that is ready to serve you. It is always available if you listen.

I believe:

You are here to live with complete joy and peace—nothing less. It’s just awaiting your allowing. 

Ready to get to it? Here we go!

Mary Obana 00:54

Hello and welcome!

I was working with a client last week and was reminded of a podcast I did some time ago that I suggested she listen to. It’s called “BE YOU.” As I thought about the topic for this episode, the subject of being ourselves kept sticking with me. Though BE YOU was originally released in the Fall of 2020, its message seems as relevant today as ever so I felt compelled to re-release it. Whenever I get that feeling, I know there are those who are meant to hear it. Perhaps it’s you. I hope you enjoy it! Here it goes.

This episode is for anyone who’s found themselves in that situation where you know what you want and need to do – but you struggle to do it. 

It’s being in a job that you know isn’t soul feeding, allowing you to be who you are to be, do what you feel called to do, but you stay in the job anyways… because it pays the bills.

It’s staying in a relationship when you know deep in your heart this isn’t the person you are meant to be with.

It’s majoring in something in college because you think it’s what your parents want you to do, rather than pursuing what you truly love.

It’s pretending to be someone you think society, your family or friends wants you to be, but you know this isn’t who you really are.

This can create pain or sadness; it can be something we bury, going on with the routine of our lives, not allowing ourselves to “go there.” After all, there’s so much to be grateful for, why mess it up. It’s “fine.” And it can be lonely, because even those who know you well haven’t a clue what you are feeling deep down inside.

If you are a regular listener of this podcast, you’ve heard the message that we are all to live with complete joy, fulfillment, love and peace. Genuinely. Purely. We are supposed to live with a lightness. We all want that. 

So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we live our lives prioritizing the expectations or needs of others over what we know to be true within us? 

We all have experiences that shape the way we see the world. And, the way we think others see us. We create stories in our mind. We focus on all the negative things that can happen if we follow our heart. The inconvenience, the risk, the fallout. What would people say? Would they still love me if they knew? I have a family to take care of, this isn’t a good time. 

Most of us are conditioned to fall in line, take that smooth path, not make waves, not create conflict. Living our lives as we think we are supposed to. We may even convince ourselves we are being “responsible.” After all, there are so many others to consider.

We don’t spend time envisioning all the POSITIVE things that can happen if we listen to that inner voice, that voice that is always guiding us to who we are to be. Imagine all the possibilities! The paths that would open. The freedom. The relief. All the people that would be served.

No, we don’t focus on that. We focus instead on the downsides of listening to that inner voice.

So, we stay the course. We quiet that voice. And we live with dis-ease. We struggle with the reality of what we know to be true, and the way we are actually living our lives. This dis-ease can manifest in sickness, physical pain, even chronic illness, to name a few. Because it’s eating us up inside. We are holding it in – we are not living in our truth.

If you find yourself burying who you really are because you’re focused on everyone else, the true joy, love, fulfillment and genuine peace you seek will elude you. You will create your own suffering.

And this can happen in any stage of our lives.  

Our son Kai just turned 18. As he transitions into adulthood and enters a new phase of his life, I know he will be navigating the world ahead of him, and discovering his place within it.  

I think of all the pressure he, and every 18 year old must feel, as they begin to figure out who they really are, not to mention the questions they are asked by well-meaning people - what college do you want to go to? What do you want to do with your life? So many perceived expectations

But here’s the reality: only YOU know who you are. Only YOU know who you are meant to be. And you know what? You DO know. You always know, deep inside.

You see truth is not subjective. It’s not relative. It’s absolute.

Truth – your truth – is just… well, truth.

So I want you to listen to these words I am about to say closely. Let them sink in. You are meant to hear them.

Are you ready? Here we go.

You are exactly as you are to be. You are perfect. You are beautiful in every way. 

Your life experiences are intentional. This I think you know. You are to use these unique life circumstances to learn and to grow.

Each of you has been given beautiful and unique skills - talents you are to cherish. Discover. Use. You are to live in your truth. Be who you are. Live the life you are meant to live. That which is in alignment with your soul's truth.

The struggle comes when we fight it. When we don't accept it. When we don't look for it. 

Finding yourself is why you are here. And the journey to discovery is a great teacher. One that provides the lessons you are to learn, the perspectives you are to have. The understanding you are to accept. 

There is never shame in living in your truth. For in this acceptance, there is a beautiful unfolding. An allowing for all that is meant to be, for all that is to happen. 

Joy, fulfillment, love and peace come from acceptance of that truth. 

Challenges come when you live in contrast. Contrast creates pain and suffering. Contrast is by its very nature a comparative concept... dissonance is created. Filling your mind with what you believe others' expectations are of you. Living in your perceived understanding of what society, family, friends, your community thinks it is you should be. Living in your mind, you believe this perception to be truth. But truth doesn’t live in your mind. Truth lives in your soul… deep within.

For so many, the instinct is to please, but you sacrifice your own truth to please others. 

The lesson is you must look within, and live in your truth. Honor who you have been created to be. This is why each of you is here in this life experience... because through this discovery, comes joy. Accepting that which is true is why we are all here. 

But again, these feelings that are experienced are important, for they provide a unique perspective. An empathy. An understanding of the human condition. These experiences build the tapestry of your being. Give you the perspective, the empathy, the ability to recognize in others what they are feeling. This is all part of it. For we are all connected. We are here to serve one another. You are here to serve yourself.

And this is not a selfish pursuit – you must always understand that. Honoring yourself, finding your true self, loving your true self allows others to LOVE YOU! Living in your truth creates a peace. And that peace creates a light. That light is what warms the world. It lights up the universe. It expands everything. 

Loving yourself is the lesson. Acceptance. Love. You are created exactly the way you are intended to be. There are no mistakes. The only mistake is not accepting that which you are. The life experience is meant to be joyful, and when one doesn't accept themselves as they truly are, discord happens. Angst, frustrations, shame. 

Shame is when you believe you are less than you should be. But this is a false dichotomy. This is a false belief. This is the creation of the ego which compares you to others. Shines a light on the contrast. The light must be shined on the truth. Not the contrast. Contrast is a creation of the mind. There is no contrast in truth. There is only what IS. What was always meant to be. 

Pain and suffering come from a lack of acknowledgment of your truth. Of fighting that which you are. Fighting the one you are meant to be. 

You are beautiful AS YOU ARE. Accepting who you are is what this life experience is about. Finding it. Nourishing it. LOVING it. 

You are all loved exactly as you are. You are beautiful. You are perfect. You are love.

A freedom and liberation come from this acceptance. A beautiful peace. Peace only comes from truth. Find your peace.

Finding your peace can happen at any moment. It’s just a matter of choosing. 

Enlightenment is understanding that there is nowhere to go, nothing to do, nobody to be except YOURSELF. Exactly as you truly are.

The way we feel comes from what we think. When you have a thought that isn’t in alignment with who you really are, change it. You get to choose.

Your simple truth, simply lived, will offer more beauty, comfort, joy and peace than anything anyone can create or give to you.

Peace only comes from truth. Find your peace.

If something struck a chord within you, I’d encourage you to replay it. Perhaps this is a message you are meant to hear again and again.

If this made you think of someone you know, because you think they would benefit from this message, send it to them. Listen to your instinct. This is how it all works. You never know when a message delivered at just the right time can change the course of someone’s life.

This past weekend, two friends took Michael and me on a beautiful hike in Vermont. At the top of this trail, there on the ground right beneath me, was a little rock with 8 words inscribed on it. No one else noticed it. I know I was meant to see it so I could share this little rock’s big message with you, so I’ll close this episode out with it. They’re definitely words to live by:

Be kind, be strong, be brave. BE YOU.

Amen to that.

Thanks for joining me today. Until next time.