Purpose, Intention, and Nudges

046—Do you have questions that continue to nudge you—the ones that come from deep within you? Questions that you know you should be listening to but that you ignore or find a hard time answering.  

Are you living your life on purpose? With intention? Or are you just busy?

Listen as Mary addresses these topics and shares her journey of addressing the question that nudged her and how it changed her life. A perfect episode as you contemplate a new year or take stock of whether you are living the life you are meant to live.

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To learn more about Scituate Salt Cave, visit:
www.ScituateSaltCave.com

To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To learn more about having Mary connect you directly to your own spiritual guidance, visit:
maryobana.com/private-reading

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
maryobana.com/amazon

To contact Mary directly or get added to receive her newsletter, please email her at:
mary@maryobana.com

Follow her:
Facebook @maryobana.shine
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To learn more about Mary's work with The Food Whisperers, please visit:
thefoodwhisperers.com

To learn more about Mary Obana, visit her website:
maryobana.com

To learn more about having Mary connect you directly to your own spiritual guidance, visit:
maryobana.com/private-reading

For more information about Mary's book "Shine: A Simple Guide to Finding Your Light and Letting It Shine on the World", visit:
maryobana.com/amazon

Transcript

Mary Obana 0:05 

I'm Mary Obana. Welcome to Shine. I’m all about friendly, soul-nourishing, spiritually-inspired conversations that expand perspectives and offer practical guidance so you can live joyfully and shine brightly.  

I believe:

Everyone has something special within them, a unique gift—a light you are to find and share with the world. You are meant to shine. 

I believe:

You have a deep knowing; guidance that is ready to serve you. It is always available if you listen.

I believe:

You are meant to live with complete joy and peace—nothing less. It’s just awaiting your allowing. 

Ready to get to it? Here we go!

Mary Obana 00:54

Hi there! I’m so glad you are here. Thank you for joining me!

I have to start by thanking all of you for taking the One Act of Kindness challenge introduced in the last episode. I loved hearing all the stories of your acts of kindness! Every one of them made me smile, from paying tolls for the cars behind you to helping some older folks load groceries in their cars to leaving kind notes to cranky waiters and more. I love that many of you have gotten your kids involved, too. I can only imagine the ripple effect of the countless acts of kindness that all of you have given. Thank you! And for the record, my kindness streak is still going strong! 

Well, happy new year! The New Year is such a great time, isn’t it? A time to reflect on all that has happened, to look forward with a new perspective for a fresh start.

Now I’m not sure when you are listening to this, whether it’s January or some other time of year, but this is the truth: ANY time of year can be the beginning of something new. We don’t have to wait until January 1st or a Monday or a big birthday to get on with living the life we want for ourselves. Why wait, right!? Any time is always a good time to take a step back and take stock of our lives to see if we are where we want to be, where we are MEANT to be.

So why is this time of reflection so important? Because we’re busy! Our days quickly fill up as we take care of what needs our immediate attention. We bounce from one thing to the next, managing what is directly in front of us—tasks, responsibilities, and activities—there is no shortage of things to do and places we need to be. Between our jobs, juggling all the duties of family and our household, paying bills, tackling projects, preparing for this, finishing up that… this can go on for weeks, months, or even years. Just going. Just doing. And while we can feel productive, and even that we are doing great things, sometimes we pick our heads up from all the busyness and find ourselves asking, “Where am I going with this?” 

And if you’re like me, the questions were more like, “ Why am I here? What is my purpose?” 

These are the questions that would come to me repeatedly over the years – that is when I stopped all the “doing” long enough even to hear the questions. It’s as if just enough space opened up for a question to squeeze through and make its way to me. It usually happened when I was walking my dog or someplace away from the usual barrage of distractions – meetings, conference calls, spreadsheets, presentations, phone calls, my laptop. I was so busy doing what I felt was necessary. Driving, driving, driving. Working. Pushing. Controlling. Less listening. Less allowing. Less “being.”

Do you have questions that continue to nudge you? Repeatedly? I’m talking about the questions that come from deep within you. These feel different than those which come from your mind. The questions that come from your mind seem to come in a rapid-fire-succession kind of way. It might start with one question, but it quickly – I mean QUICKLY – is followed by a sequence of others. Bang, bang, bang! And the next thing you know, you’re stressed out and feel compelled to start “doing” again.

The questions that come from deep within you tend to be more of a lingering variety. It seems to be the same type of question again and again, too. These have a way of sticking with you, nudging you. They don’t go away. And deep down inside, you know it’s telling you something. You know you’re supposed to listen. But if you’re not ready, you get back to the business of doing. The busyness resumes again. It’s more comfortable there because you know how to be busy. It comes effortlessly to you. You don’t have to think as much. You just DO. And the question gets pushed back down to where it came from until we have a break in the busyness and it finds a way to come forward again.

For me, these nudgy questions gained persistence and “elevation,” so to speak. Meaning they didn’t get pushed back as deeply each time I wasn’t able to or didn’t want to address them. And I started to feel their presence more strongly and frequently. In retrospect, I know this was a signal that the time had come. It was time for me to face the nudge.

It wasn’t until the busyness stopped and my mind quieted that I became connected to understanding the importance of that question: what is my purpose? 

Sometimes busyness stops for us voluntarily – for instance when we reach a milestone, the New Year, or a point in our lives where we choose to stop and reflect. Other times it happens involuntarily. Maybe we’ve lost a job, are confronted with a health issue, or are forced to quarantine. While it may not feel like it, when these involuntary circumstances arise, this is often the Universe stepping in because it wants us to stop. It needs us to stop. To pay attention.

Have you heard the ‘why am I here’ or ‘what is my purpose’ question, too? It seems to be a common one.

Our “inner being-ness” knows why we are here. But our ego prods us, the ego that constructs our belief about who we should be. And when that ego is at work, it throws us off track and keeps us from who we truly are. I love how the late, great spiritual luminary Wayne Dyer described what the ego makes us believe. Here are three big ones that we can all relate to:

1.     I am what I have. My possessions define me.

2.     I am what I do. My achievements define me.

3.     I am what others think of me. My reputation defines me.

Living under the stronghold of the ego is a futile pursuit because the ego is insatiable. No matter what you accomplish, what you acquire, how highly others think of you, it’s never enough. There’s always more. More to have, more to achieve, more to do to sustain the reputation you have worked so hard to build. It’s relentless. This is when you know it’s coming from your ego because your ego is never satisfied.

Our inner being knows why we are here.

You are meant to feel truly fulfilled. You are meant to feel genuine joy. You are meant to feel pure love. You are meant to feel true peace. You are meant to feel inspired! 

And there’s only one way you will feel these things: when you are in pure alignment with the true essence of who you are. 

This is when that inner knowing, those nudges, find their way to you, wanting to get you back on track. Those nudges are guiding you to YOU; they’re guiding you home.

The presence of these questions is a sign that in the depths of your being, you know there is more for you. This doesn’t mean what you have been doing hasn’t been worthwhile and valuable. It just means that the time has come to get on with YOU. 

Finding your purpose isn’t about knowing what you are supposed to DO. It comes from knowing who you ARE—returning to your true self. At the innermost part of your being, you are love, you are of love, focused on giving, serving, being connected to the greatest Source of love, recognizing you are not separate from anything. And asking that powerful Source to guide you in fulfilling your purpose. Your destiny. A way to use your innate unique talents to serve, to help. 

For me, the answer to the question of my purpose all unfolded when I finally quieted my mind and stopped the busyness and what unfolded changed my life. My return to who I am resulted in a powerful connection to all the love around me, specifically the spiritual guidance that would open up for me. It changed my perspective on everything. It opened up a new world for me, one of clarity. Understanding too – the kind of understanding that comes not from a belief but from knowing – knowing that we are truly part of and connected to something larger, grander, powerful, and magnificent. All loving. Beautiful. All I ever wanted was to help others be their best selves, to see how magnificent they are, and to help them find the joy and fulfillment they deserve and that is meant for them. And that we all have more control of how we experience this world than we think. It’s simply a choice.

And while this journey has been incredibly rewarding, I would be dishonest if I didn’t share that there have been moments where I have asked, where is this going? But any time I have questioned my path, or my ego has tried to find its way back in, making me doubt or wonder if there is something else I should be doing, I have been reminded to trust and to allow. And to not focus on the doing but the being. To open my heart and to allow things to flow. To live with authenticity and to follow that which energizes me. To operate from a place of love and service. And at every turn, the Universe has delivered. And I marvel at the wonder, the beauty, the love, the energy, the abundance, and the joy that I have received.

Trusting and allowing works.

So if thoughts like these pop into your mind, like “Yeah, my purpose is to make money and support my family.” Or “Things work out for other people; they never seem to work out for me.” Or “I am too busy to spend time thinking about me. I have a big job, doing important things. Maybe some other time.” Beware, the ego is visiting.

Just think about this for a moment. You are connected to—not separate from—all the power of the Universe. The energy that has created worlds is WITHIN you. Anything and everything is possible. 
 
 Are you facing an illness? Are you struggling financially? You have more control of the outcome than you think. When you think about the circumstances of your life —the ones you don’t like, don’t think about them. Huh? What’s that now? How do you NOT think of the problems that are facing you? They are real. They are right in front of you! 
 
 Yup, that’s true. Of course, they are. But it’s remarkable what happens when we focus on what we want rather than the problems we don’t want. Or even better, sink into the feeling of having what you want, not wanting what you don’t. Let me say that again, sink into the feeling of HAVING what you want, not wanting what you do not. Imagine what it feels like to be healthy and strong! Feel that! Imagine what it feels like to have a life of abundance. Feel that!

 The Universe delivers to us what we feel, matching the energy we put out. And it doesn’t matter how hard you convince your thoughts of something. The way you feel is the arbiter of what you will receive.

Albert Einstein once said that the most important decision we ever make is whether we believe we live in a friendly universe or a hostile one. How we look at things, our perspective changes everything. And back to the words of Wayne Dyer, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Our thoughts have power. They affect how we feel. Change your thoughts. Change how you feel. And see your life change.

This is all about living intentionally. 

Living a life of purpose is living a life with intention.

I used to think that intention was about just being deliberate about setting goals so that you aren’t wandering aimlessly. Deciding what you want to achieve—maybe it’s wealth, notoriety, recognition, accomplishment… whatever it is.

I’ve learned that living a life of intention is about living a life aligned with the essence of who you truly are. Intention with a capital “I”. Living a life ON PURPOSE. The way we think, the way we see things, the way we feel.

No one shows up to this life experience randomly. You are here ON PURPOSE. Which is to say, there is a reason for your BEING. And it’s not about what you DO. It’s about sharing who you ARE because only YOU can be YOU.

So, as you look at what is in front of you, do you like how you feel? How you will spend this upcoming year. With the busyness that fills your days? Or with a life of intention. On purpose. Trusting and allowing? Pay attention to the nudges. They are always guiding you.

Speaking of nudges, as you may know, over the past couple of months, I have had the pleasure of doing private, in-person readings, connecting people with the messages from their guidance at the beautiful Scituate Salt Cave in the seaside town of Scituate, MA. I have also been speaking there and hosting retreats, and leading workshops. There’s nothing quite like doing my work while being surrounded by over 30,000 pounds of ancient, healing Himalayan sea salt in these magical caves! If you want to check what these caves are like, I’ll leave a link in the show notes. They are stunning!
 
 But over recent weeks, I’ve been receiving nudges to do more teaching. So, I will be starting a speaking series at this special place in Scituate, covering a host of topics, and I’ll be leading more workshops to support people’s spiritual journey and growth. One of my favorite workshops is teaching people to connect to their guidance. We all have guidance all around us! It’s just about tapping into it. These interactive workshops are a lot of fun and incredibly rewarding as I watch before my very eyes people connecting to their very own guidance for the first time. There has been so much interest, too that I’ve been asked to teach a class for teens, which is going to be a blast!

To make more time for this, just for the time being, I will be releasing new podcast episodes monthly rather than bi-weekly. I will also be sprinkling in some re-releases of some listener favorites. All until I can get these workshops and this speaking series off the ground. You can always keep up with what I’m doing by visiting my website maryobana.com. 

I have loved everything about this podcast. I am so grateful that you’ve opened your heart and your apps and invited me in. With listeners throughout North America and from Hungary to Taiwan, Norway to Australia, Switzerland, Germany, Japan, the Netherlands, and so many places in between. Wow! What an honor.

But I will STILL be here! Bringing you interviews and covering new topics, just not quite as frequently. But I look forward to each and every one.

Here’s to all that lies ahead, to living a life of intention, and to listening to those nudges that are guiding you to more. There’s so much waiting for you.

Thank you for sharing and continuing your acts of kindness and for shining. Always shining.

Until next time. Take it easy!