97: Matthew Perry...Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing

Join us as we discuss Matthew Perry's Memoir...Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing...Please don't hate us all you Friends fans, but this book really brought us down....listen in and see why...

We've also included a copy of a book review that Joy and I both sadly agreed with....see it below

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Reddit Book Review

r/books•
2 yr. ago
Terrible_Vermicelli1

I feel sick and disgusted after reading Matthew's Pery memoir

Could you be any more delusional and self-serving as this man? I loved him in Friends and for a long time was feeling very sympathetic towards him and his struggles, addiction can get to the best of people and I do admire those who keep fighting. But this book was something else. A blatant lack of self-awareness, narcissism and inflated ego was just too much.

This is the man, who admits he cheated on basically each of his girlfriends, yet at the same time thinks "he's a very good person, he would never hurt anyone and God can see this".

This is the man who hurt and drove away those who helped him the most, those who spent months with him in hospitals and rehabs, risking their careers and private lives, and suddenly were disposable when he was discharged because "as long as I'm sober, I don't need them any more and now they're needy".

This is the man who constantly shits on every person more successful than him. Who thinks that every bad thing that happened to him must be the fault of someone else. That he's not even in the slightest responsible for how his life looks like, because "it's a disease, and you're lucky you don't have it, woe is me, I don't have any control over it". Who destroyed so many movies because of his addiction, and once just disappeared for 6 months during the production to go on a binge and later detox, and is in absolute shock they sued him for financial loses. "How could they, it was health issue??". Who hurt every woman he's every been with, but when his ex (!) informs him she's getting married and won't be able to attend his play he says "her emailing me about it is the worst thing someone has done to me, I would NEVER do that to a person, how could she". The whole book is just constant self-serving "me, myself and I, why everyone around me is always wrong and why all I did to myself and other people is not my fault". I was physically ill by the end of this book.

The narcissism is so obvious it's not even funny. Early in his career his supposed friend rejected role of Chandler, which he obviously later regretted seeing how it played out for Matthew. What Perry has to say about it? He just randomly quotes a journalist saying that it was a blessing to the world it was Perry who was cast and that his friend would be a shitty Chandler anyway. Who the hell would do something like that to a friend? Did you just kept this quote memorized for 20+ years or went out of your way to locate any negative comment about your friend to include this in your memoir? Absolutely shocking. More on narcissism - he writes his first play in 10 days and self proclaims it as "great work better than classics" and gets all annoyed that it was demolished by critics. Did it ever occur to him that maybe it wasn't that good and he could work on it more? Of course not, critics just don't understand his genius, and besides, here's one semi-positive review he found - proceeds to quote i

Transcript

J Q (00:01.667)
Welcome to Twin Talk, this is Joy and I'm here with my sister Angie. And today we will be discussing Matthew Perry's memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing. So Angie, my first question to you is what are your thoughts when you hear the name Matthew Perry? Well, Friends, the show Friends, so you know, I feel like that's obviously his most iconic, what's the word again, his most famous role he ever did was for Friends. I thought, you know, I didn't watch Friends a ton.

But I do remember like of all the characters, at least of the guys, I felt like he was really cute and I felt like he was real charming. Yeah, I'm the same way. I wasn't a huge fan. Like, you know, I wasn't a diehard Friends fan, but I did watch it quite a bit. And like you, out of the three guys, I'm most related to Chandler's character. And I just thought he was cute and funny. And also the set, I'm really big into sets of movies and I just love the set of Friends. I love the coffee shop. I love the apartment.

And that honestly, that's one of reasons I like to watch it was how they dress the girls and how they did the sets was really cool. the style, the fashion. I have to be honest with you, most of time when I was watching it, I was looking more at the furniture and the color of the paint on the wall. I mean, can still tell you exactly what their living room looks like on the set of Friends. Right. Yeah, because it was so cool. Yeah, they just had a really cool vibe about it. So he's uber famous. He's known all over the world. Friends is a worldwide phenomenon. At one point,

each cast member was making a million dollars per episode. Crazy. that's mind blowing. So I'm going to go ahead and have Angie read the summary of Matthew Perry's memoir. Okay. So Matthew Perry's memoir was published in November of 2022. It's an intimate, raw and candid account of his life, focusing heavily on his struggles with addiction, mental health, and the toll fame took on him. In the book,

Perry opens up about his time on friends, his battles with prescription drugs and alcohol, and the isolation he often felt despite being surrounded by people. The memoir also touches on his relationships, personal regrets, and moments of clarity that eventually led him toward recovery. And one thing I do want to mention is that we both listened to the book on Audible, and Matthew Perry did narrate it.

J Q (02:24.142)
and his voice, was troublesome to me. It sounded like he was slurring his words. And one thing I read was some people said, he was not sober when he was recording it. But another thing I read said that he was on all this different type of medication and that's what was caused him to kind of slur his word and his speech sounded weird. Did you notice that when you were listening to it? Yes, I noticed it. Unfortunately, it kind of gave me a negative experience listening to the book because

I mean, to be frank, you're wondering the whole time, was he high when he was recording this? You know, I don't know. I don't know what to believe either because I feel like there were several contradictions in the book. Just in doing a little research, I've read through some interviews he had and then go back and double check in with the book. And I just feel like there's some contradictions. Did you see that any at all? Yeah. And Joy and I were talking before the podcast just to give a

background here, but we were talking about it's been a little bit since we've listened to this, which that's always a problem when doing a podcast because it's just not fresh on my mind. But the general feeling that I kept getting as I was listening to his book was it just felt like there was a lot of contradictions in the book. is that how you felt? And just to be totally honest, we thought about not doing the book because once you read the book,

It definitely separates the character of Chandler from the actual person of Matthew Perry. And I just got to be honest, when I got through reading the book, I'm not a Matthew Perry fan. I might be a Chandler fan, but I'm not a Matthew Perry fan. Yes, millions of people struggle with addiction and millions of people have alcohol abuse and drug abuse, but I just feel like he was always full of excuses. And I feel like he just mistreated everybody who was around him. And especially the people who tried to

to help and he just didn't come off as a good guy to me even though he wanted to convince us in the book he was a good guy. Okay so let me I'm gonna be very candid here for a minute on Twin Talk. This isn't a first but anyway I called Joy a few days ago and I said you know we've been telling everybody we're gonna do this Matthew Perry book I said we don't

J Q (04:40.366)
have to do the Matthew Perry book. And Joy said, by gosh, we're doing the Matthew Perry book. And I said, if I'm gonna spend my time reading the book, I wanna do the podcast. We have both been dreading this podcast. okay. For me personally, the reason I dread it, have been dreading it, is because I know there's so many Friends fans out there. Yes, and I'm one of them.

Yeah, and to talk about one of the beloved characters who's also now deceased, it almost feels like you're committing some kind of sacred crime or something. to talk negatively about someone who's passed away under such tragic circumstances does feel wrong. Because this I also don't know why. It brought up all these just really negative emotions for Joy and I, and I said, we don't have to do this book. But anyway, in the end...

We just decided, you know what, when you invest that much time in something, you know, we don't wanna, and there's something to learn from the book. There's things to learn from it, so we decided to go ahead and do it. And he did do some good things. Didn't he turn his house into a rehabilitation center for men? He did mention a couple of times in the book that he was like a mentor to people, that he did try to help other people who were addicts.

What I didn't understand, you're making a million dollars an episode and he always talked about running into financial problems. Like I remember him saying something about, I don't know if it was that one or trying to build another rehabilitation center, but he didn't have enough money. And I'm thinking you're making a million dollars an episode and you don't have enough money to do a rehab center. Well, you don't remember the book very good then because you remember he would just take his money and just.

blow it on drugs. That's true. He so much of his money on... millions on He was talking about like why he would pay for like one Vicodin or like he would... Like people were just robbing him blind. Yeah. And I do... It does seem like he might have had some issues with maybe his accountant or seemed like there might have been people in his life as well that were taking advantage of him. Oh, I wouldn't doubt And he did tell a story about a guy that he was going into partnership with to do a rehab center. And according to Matthew, the guy...

J Q (06:45.462)
did him dirty and did take a bunch of his money. So he made some bad decisions and I do, but I, from the way I remember a lot of his money was just spent on drugs and prescription medication. So we.

This is gonna be a super short podcast because we don't want to sit here and talk ill of the dead like we said and we are I don't want to be and I'm a big fan of Reverend. Yeah, and I'm a big fan of him as far as an actor. He was funny Charismatic charming all of the stuff. He was a great actor It's just a tragedy that he was addicted to drugs and was not able to overcome it and eventually it cost him his life Yes, very well said so I want to ask you a question joy and

Did you, you know how sometimes people will say things that other people say about them and it kind of gives you a glimpse of how that person really felt about that person? Let me be more clear, like in the book, he might say, well, I sent Jennifer Aniston a text and told her how beautiful she looked today. And then he would kind of maybe say her reply. And I just kind of read through between the lines. And did you get the feeling that some of his castmates

were irritated with him a lot and just thought, and just kind of like was kind of fed up with him at times. Now he did say that during one of the last seasons when they were gonna film, he did say that Jennifer was mad at him. And they said because they didn't trust him to be on, you know, to show up, to be on time or whatever his issues were. also said that they were all concerned, this is interesting to me, they were all concerned about his health, they all knew he was dealing with these problems.

but she was the only one brave enough to confront him. He said that she kind of was the spokesperson for the group and kind of did an intervention. Basically went up to him and said, hey, we're concerned about you and we want to help you and you need help. And I don't really remember what his response was though. I did admire the fact that she was the one that had the courage to approach him. Yes, and actually say, you have a problem. But some of the things though that he would say she said throughout the book, it made me think that you could tell she had like,

J Q (08:56.43)
had it with him at times, know, and I'm sure it's all just due to his addiction, you because it's always the case. Well, did you have anything else you wanted to add? I was just going to say there's just a few things in the book that stood out to me. And one of the first things he talks about is when he was young, how his parents split up and how they put him on a plane.

by himself, like I wanna say he was like around five. He was very young. It was like he just never got over that. I know, it really affected him. Yes, like he talked about that and throughout the book ever so often he would just bring up, yeah, like putting a five-year-old on a plane, like from Canada to Vegas or wherever it was. me personally, I could never put my child on No, I agree with five years old and I agree with him, but you're right. That's deep-seated. could never let that could tell though, like that was a point of contention with him and he could never get over the fact that his

parents were just kind of like shipping him from one to the other, you know, and by himself without any adult around. And I get that. I can see why that bothered him. The other thing was he talked a lot about how he always craved acceptance and he felt like his mission in life was to make people laugh. And so he felt like as long as I can make people laugh.

Everything's good. I know why yeah. Yes. And yeah, and every story he tells a lot I have heard a lot of comedians say that mm-hmm and every story he tells like when he was hanging out with comedians and other people His go whether it be sitting at a table eating dinner with his friends or whether it was going to a party His go was like did people laugh at me and that's how he felt acceptance. Yeah, and then The only other thing I wanted to say was you know, he did

have opportunities for happiness, but every time he would blow it. so one of the things that stood out to me was he dated Julia Roberts. And Julia Roberts, actually, she was the one that instigated the whole relationship. They said she asked about him and wanted to meet him, and then he talks a lot about how he was nervous about meeting her, and then they had a relationship, and then he breaks up with her, even though he said that she was kind of like one of the loves of his life. And he does admit that.

J Q (11:09.26)
he would sabotage every time he was in a good relationship with a woman, he would sabotage it because I don't think he wanted them to find out who he truly was. He was afraid they were gonna get to the bottom of it and they wouldn't love him for who he truly was. Yes, that's one thing that he did say that he was scared. didn't want people to, he felt like if they truly knew who he was, they wouldn't like him. So, and then the other thing I was gonna say was, know, and I know everyone listening knows that he's passed away now, but.

I thought it was interesting there toward the end of his life. He was really, really into pickleball. they said it was, he said, and other people even said it was like an obsession with him. So I do feel like, I don't know that he was completely drug free when he died. I don't know. I've heard conflicting reports. I've heard people say that, you he was going around touting, I'm drug free this many days or, but in reality.

He, in reality, he, in reality, he was still using, but he was trying to pass himself off as clean and sober. Okay. Yeah. Cause like I said, I don't know. And I really feel like that maybe he had been off of whatever he was on at the time for a while. And maybe, maybe he just had a relapse. Cause that happens, you know? That does happen. And unfortunately it's tragic that it happened when he was in his hot tub. And then I guess he drowned in his hot tub. Yeah. So.

If you could say anything to Matthew Perry right now, what would you say? You know what I would say? I would say, I would say you made me laugh a lot. Yeah. I would say you were funny. You were funny. You know, I'm sorry that he had so many issues and problems. would say the same thing. would say thanks for all the laughs. I wish you could have overcome your addiction. The thing that I just can't get over, or maybe I shouldn't even say this with the book, is

It just, I just felt like this woe is me pity party through the whole book. Like he had it harder than any other addict in the world. Yeah, and I just kept thinking, yeah, I totally, trust me, I believe you that it was hard and you struggled and you had excruciating pain mentally and physically and emotionally, but it almost felt like he was always passing his problems off like it was someone else, which leads me to the next thing I was like, I know we're getting ready to close. So.

J Q (13:27.062)
We were just sitting here and we kind of were looking at a few reviews for this book and Joy came across a review and what was the name? So think it was titled. I think it was a Reddit. Okay. I can't think of the word. It was a Reddit. Okay. There's the title. The person said, go ahead. And the name of the review was, I feel sick and disgusted after reading Matthew Perry's memoir. Okay. And Angie's going to put a link to it at the bottom of our page, but a lot of what this person says in the review is exactly how.

I felt after reading the book. So if you want to know kind of why we're feeling a little negative about the book, this person said it very well and so we will put a link to this person's review. It's kind of long but it's actually very interesting and they go into depth about a lot of the negative aspects of Matthew's book. Yes. But yeah, as far as him as a person,

It's tragic to me that a person had to live the way he lived and it suffered and no one should have to and no one should have to suffer the way he suffered. That's what's so sad to me. So Well, I'm ask you to write the book. How many big terrible things do you give the book? I was thinking you're saying how many big terrible things are in this book? say a lot You know, oh it's tough because

I love reading memoirs and I love kind of like getting to learn the inside scoop on celebrities and it was interesting, but I'm going to give it a one just because of how annoying it was to and not to drag this out, but why do you think he wrote that book? I don't know if it was to make money or if he thought he could help other addicts through it, but there wasn't a lot of advice on getting through it. There's a lot of advice on not to do it.

So I don't know if it was self-serving for the money or just trying to prove to everybody, hey, I'm sober. I have no idea why he wrote the book. Maybe it was cathartic. Maybe he did it as a therapy. I do think it was kind of a therapeutic endeavor. But I also felt like it was kind of a hey.

J Q (15:40.162)
feel sorry for me. Like, for once and for all, I'm getting my story out there so people can see what I've gone through. And once and for all, we're gonna get the cat out of the bag and y'all can see what I've been through. And maybe I'm wrong. And people that know, I feel bad because I don't know him, you don't know him. It's so easy to sit and talk about someone that you don't know. And we're only seeing like external things that's been said about him and things he said. So if you talk to someone that knew him, like one of the cast members, they're probably like, you idiots, y'all don't even know what you're talking about. So I hate to just keep.

But I was curious like why you thought he wrote it. What was the purpose of that book? So now all I could think of is a therapeutic or he needed money Okay. All right. All right. I'll give it a two. Okay. Yeah, I'll one-up you All right. Well, is there anything you want to say before we close? No, that's about it Okay. Well, thank you for joining us and we'll see you next time on Twin Talk