Matrimony & Money Podcast

Episode 4: Money Personalities – Why You Handle Money Differently (And How to Make It a Superpower)

Sherman Merricks Episode 4

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0:00 | 27:45

Do you and your spouse fight about money — or just avoid the conversation entirely? In this episode, Sherman and Cristina get real about their own money personalities and why understanding yours might be the key to finally getting on the same page.

They break down the four money personalities — Saver, Spender, Avoider, and Planner — and share how their opposite styles have actually strengthened their marriage and their finances.

In this episode:
• The 4 money personalities and how to spot yours
• Why opposites attract (and how to make it work for you, not against you)
• Sherman and Christina's honest take on their own money journeys
• Why loaning money to family and friends almost always goes wrong
• How they paid off $203,000 in debt — faster than expected
• Why contentment is the secret weapon no one talks about

Take the free money personality quiz at www.no-debt-life.com

Want your questions answered on the show? Email us at matrimonyandmoney@gmail.com

If this episode helped you, share it with a couple who needs to hear it. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube!

FREE RESOURCE:
The Couples Money Date Guide — the exact step-by-step conversation format Sherman and Cristina used before paying off $203K. Download free at the link below.
matrimonymoney.com/links 

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As seen on The Dave Ramsey Show · Fox News · Fox Business

SPEAKER_01

Like there's just gonna be differences, and if you are a spender and you know that, you have to make sure that you are Or do you think I'm a spender because I had to save for so long?

SPEAKER_04

Uh do you think I've always been a spender?

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Really? Yes.

SPEAKER_04

Really? Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Uh me, Christina, we talk about this. So she said she said that she would rather like get nice clothes and stuff like that. On a budget instead of eating. Instead of the food that we eat. Me, I'd rather spend top dollar on the food that I've got.

SPEAKER_02

No, I still want to eat, but it doesn't have to be gourmet.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, it does.

SPEAKER_02

Alright.

SPEAKER_00

This is the Matrimony and Money Podcast.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, guys, here we go. Another episode of Matrimony and Money with Sherman and Christina. And today we're going to be talking about money personalities. Now, I want to give a little caveat before we get started on this. This is not meant for you and your partner to get into a fight. You guys already know where you are. Yeah, you're gonna see people are gonna try to change. Oh, I'm really not a s. You are what you are, right? So don't worry. And here's the thing. If you don't know, simply go to our website, www.no dash debt-dash life.com, and you can take the free quiz. I'll put in the show notes and everything, so don't worry about that.

SPEAKER_04

So we said a dash or an underscore.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, it's a that I just said a dash.

SPEAKER_04

No, no, I think it's an underscore.

SPEAKER_01

I know for a fact it's a dash. No dash.

SPEAKER_04

Like how? Like, like no and then dash?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, no, dash, debt, dash, life.

SPEAKER_04

I'd have this underscore, but okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so here's the thing. The four money personalities, and I have some notes today because I want to make sure we we don't uh uh mislabel anyone on the Matrimony and Money Podcast. So let's talk about the four that we have, right? We have the saver, right, who loves security, hates waste, feels anxious when money leaves. That's the saver. The spender sees money as joy, experiences, and living life. The avoider would rather not think or talk about money at all, right? Just hey, whatever, deal with it. And then we have the planner, um, the one who loves to budget, controls, want to know exactly where every dime is going, and all of that stuff, right? So just hearing those, um, obviously we're gonna talk about so me personally, I am a saver. Just naturally. I'm okay with.

SPEAKER_04

Can I say something?

SPEAKER_01

Hold on. I'm just saying, I'm a saver and sort of a planner, too.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Um I was just gonna say that. I I think there's certain seasons that we all go through. Yes, because I was a saver.

SPEAKER_01

I've never been a spender like that. I've never been a spender. Oh, you're talking about when we were like 17. I mean, you're talking about when we were like 17? Maybe then when I was a child.

SPEAKER_04

I'm just saying there's seasons. But then not 17. I mean, we had kids by then.

SPEAKER_01

But I'm just saying, like we had kids by when?

SPEAKER_04

Like when we had Caden, first off, you were the spender.

SPEAKER_01

No, yes. 25, not anyway. See, I'm you guys are seasoned.

SPEAKER_04

No, no, no, but but the the one who like I was the avoider and the saver during a long season. Okay, then I became the planner, like for a long, I just became a spender, like recently.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you're doing a great job of that. Thank you. I just want to give you kudos, shout out. Everyone, shout out to my wife. She's an incredible spender. When she does something, she does it with excellence.

SPEAKER_04

But I do still budget and I still do like coupon and discounts and all that. I still do that. Coupon. Not like if there's like, yeah, it's actually like if there's a sale, like store and they have like a ten dollar off 50 coupon, I'm gonna use it.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I mean, yes, that should be.

SPEAKER_04

Like I look for them, I don't just like spend willy-hilly.

SPEAKER_01

You still take your own. I'm a deal.

SPEAKER_04

I'm a deal person.

SPEAKER_01

Don't say coupon now, honey.

SPEAKER_04

That is a coupon, honey. Coupon, coupon.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

That is a coupon, right? Like, if you have, like, if you go online before you spend, and then you're like, you've, you know, any coupon codes? It's a coupon.

SPEAKER_01

So, as you guys hear this, right? We're going back and forth, having a good time with seasons.

SPEAKER_04

There are seasons, I believe, for for people like me, then, I guess.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, everything flows, I guess. Um, so tell me this. Because what do you like about me being a saver and a planner? And what are some of the things that sort of uh I wish it wouldn't quite be that way? Like, what do you think of some of those things?

SPEAKER_04

No, I love everything about you being a planner and a saver. I love everything. I love that you plan everything, that you because I was that for so long, so I get it, and I sympathize with it, and I respect it, and I know um I'm a spender. Yes, that's alcoholics anonymous. That's what I feel like I am. But I I I know I'm a spender, but I love that we budget that part of me, and the rest is taken care of. Like when we meet about the savings, when we meet about the budget or the you know, like the line items. I don't question, you know, I love that that that works for you, and I love that there's only one of us in the relationship. Well, that was gonna bring me sort of because when you spend, then I don't care because I know like you really want something, or you know, whereas I have to like budget my actual spending.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I was gonna that was gonna bring me to the next thing. Here's the thing, if we're being honest, most of the time, opposite sort of attract, right? So that's totally normal, guys, right? One person's gonna be A, the other person's gonna be Z. And that's totally fun. But you have to figure out how to work together, right, and not against each other, right? A lot of times when we talk to couples about, you know, their spending and budget and all of that, they're sort of arguing or bickering back and forth because the spouse isn't like the other spouse, and that's fun, right?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, because even though we were like when the kids were little, um, you know, when we were starting, especially when we were starting our business and bringing the kid, you know, the kids home to homeschool, um, we were both savers, but I was still more inclined to spend on something. Yeah. And I think budget, like line items are different. Like you spend more on food, like you would probably spend more on like the grocery bill or whatever than I would have, um, where I could eat the same things all day, every day. And um, but I would want like cute clothes or you know, buy Ariana pretty bows and stuff like that, and I would budget for that. So I think we were both savers and planners in different seasons, but I think naturally, like deep down, I've always been the spender, and he's always been the saver.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and you know, a lot of this stuff, again, there's no right or wrong, good or bad necessarily.

SPEAKER_03

Um, but I think there's bad if if you ain't got a budget to be a spender, that's bad.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I was gonna say, yeah. But I'm just saying, like, there like there's just gonna be differences, and if you are a spender and you know that, you have to make sure that you are Well, do you think I'm a spender because I had to save for so long?

SPEAKER_04

Uh do you think I've always been a spender?

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Really? Yes, really, yes, uh, me, Christina, we talk about this. So she said she said that she would rather like get nice clothes and stuff like that. Not on a budget instead of eating, instead of the food that we eat. Yeah. Me, I'd rather spend top dollar on the food that I've got.

SPEAKER_02

No, I still want to eat, but it doesn't have to be gourmet.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, it does.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

I would rather eat the best food in the world. Maybe that's why I had heart issues. And wear shorts and a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_04

The same shorts and a feature you wore 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, it it works.

SPEAKER_04

It's the truth, actually. We got pictures.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so yeah, I really do enjoy how you know like we can really have this conversation because, again, the silence and not talking about it is really what gets in between couples, and then someone inevitably ends up blowing up about the money side. So, you know, if you listen to this, I would say you and your spouse definitely take the quiz, right? It'll be in the show notes, and then you guys really sit down and talk about that, right? Like we have no debt life starter kit. Um, that's free. They have a workbook that costs a little bit, but there's free resources on our site for you guys to not sort of just stay stuck, right? I mean, think about it. I mean, really think about this. I mean, we did the same thing. There was a couple paying off debt way before us, and we were we were just like, ah, we really don't know how, so we sort of did. And then same thing with us. There's people, when we first started, they were like, Hey, you guys are crazy, I don't know if I could do it. And then now that we've done it, we're on the other side, they're still stuck with all of that debt when in actuality, if they if you make some sacrifices, you will get on the other side. And I I can assure you that being on the other side is worth it. Do you think? I mean, would you agree that the sacrifice was definitely worth it?

SPEAKER_04

It was worth it, and I think your attitude and contentment in those seasons um is so important because we always talk about this too, how yes, I think it was worth it now, but I also don't feel like I was miserable then.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Because the fact of it is we had a budget, we were making X amount of money. There's n we were doing our best to change that and increase that. But at the end of the day, we we had what we had, and we were content. I feel like we always were content where we were. We we lived a happy, content life. We didn't fight or argue about money.

SPEAKER_01

The silence, we didn't fight or argue about it, but it was stressful.

SPEAKER_04

It was stressful, but uh life is stressful.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, no, for sure.

SPEAKER_04

Like things happen in life, flows happen, and then you're just scrambling. But we were content with our marriage, we were content with our children, we were content where we were at, and we just knew I I think just when you don't have much, that's just the way it is. Like it's I think it would be harder to now go back to like having to be super strict and like decrease your budget, which happens sometimes in life. People go through things that um that put them in that situation, but I would hope that we would still be content with what we had no matter what we had. And I feel like that's always been the case in our marriage. And it may be because we got married super young and didn't have much and had to scrape, and we just got used to that style of living for so long. Um but I don't know. Yeah, no, I think contentment is just wherever you're at, just put your head down, start working for it, but you can't be miserable doing it, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Like I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, I uh I mean something you touched on just now, you're saying think it'd be harder to go back to having to, you know, count every penny, stuff like that. That's why for me, you know, awfully being an athlete, ex-athlete now, but like when I see the you know professional athletes go broke, like I really feel bad for them because most of these guys, they didn't come from money. They get a boatload of money early. And they just don't know how to handle it. They gotta take care of mom, dad, cousins.

SPEAKER_03

They don't know how to manage, right?

SPEAKER_01

Right? They don't know how to say no.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And then when you become our age after you retire and the money runs out, like that has to be a horrible that has to be a horrible, horrible place to be.

SPEAKER_04

And I've seen people do it and come out of it and build businesses and do different things, and God calls them to new seasons. So it's not to say that we can't enter into a new season where it looks differently than what it does now.

SPEAKER_01

But you don't have to, I mean, I'm talking specifically about the someone that has a lot.

SPEAKER_04

You don't have to enclose it, not coming to a new season if you just not wise decisions, not having accountability, not seeking out help and um and a couple or um financial advisor or something to and that's something else for you couples.

SPEAKER_01

For you guys that are listening to this, you know, if you're single, you can sort of do whatever you want. But you couples, like you guys have to figure out who and where you are going to give money, if you're gonna loan money. You should never loan money. Ever, ever. I don't care. Mom, dad, cu not ever loan money. If you can't afford to give it away, don't give it to them, right? Someone comes to you and says, Hey, uh, I need to borrow $200. Don't do it unless you can give them the $200. Let's say you're gonna give them a.

SPEAKER_03

But what if they pay you back?

SPEAKER_01

No, they're not gonna have a chance to pay me back because I'm not gonna loan the money. I don't I try to stay away from that because Yeah, we stay away from that. Yeah, I'd rather give you a few. Like you want to borrow $200, I'd rather just give you $50.

SPEAKER_04

It is nice if you get it back. Because like when you sacrifice, and I just think about different seasons where we did help out and loan, and it was I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I wouldn't do it again. No, I don't don't loan out money, guys. Don't loan out money. It can call it cause don't lose close friends and family over money. That's true. Some some people are gonna get pissed when you say no, but it's better for you to say no and not have to deal with, you know, because then when you call you have to call them and now they have amnesia about the money they owe you. It's just best to that's a biblical principle. It is best for you and your spouse to get on board, what you're gonna do with your money and just let it be. Because if I'm being totally honest, one of us in a relationship would basically give away to every single person in need, and our family may be on the street.

SPEAKER_04

I still do.

SPEAKER_01

And it's not me. So, um but seriously, you guys see how we have different mercy money personalities, but I would say one of the things you guys have to really focus on is figuring out how to make that a superpower, right? Um there has to be a balance, yeah. Correct, correct. There has to be a balance. And you know, when I say that, for instance, give you guys a real world example. When I say I'm a saver, yes, I'm a saver, I don't spend necessarily a lot of money day to day, but he does not spend at all. But there are some specific things that I like to do. Give you one of them. I love travel. Now I'm gonna change that. I love luxury travel. So he's so pretty. Whatever, right? So I want to fly. You work hard for your money. I want to fly first class, I want to stay in five-star resorts, I want to eat the best food.

SPEAKER_04

Not always, honey.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I want to. You want to, yeah, always, yeah. I mean, if I didn't have these kids, I mean when we go trip with the family, they're not it's not luxury travel.

SPEAKER_04

If we didn't have kids, we could do that.

SPEAKER_01

Because the kids don't maybe maybe we can, but um yes, that would be ideal.

SPEAKER_04

But that's your ideal. Correct.

SPEAKER_01

Like that's my ideal.

SPEAKER_04

That's where you would put your money.

SPEAKER_01

And that's where I would put my money. So again, when I say that, you know, if one of you guys is a saver, you still need to have some areas where you spend money, um, enjoy it. Because here's the thing, you can say that I've listened to so many podcasts, specifically from uh Remek Safety, with I Would Teach You to Be Rich. There's people with millions and millions of dollars who still coupon. There's like that's not living your best life, guys.

SPEAKER_04

So you like it though.

SPEAKER_01

No, you don't know these, yeah. I mean, if you listen to that podcast, like, no, like it's more stress because again, just like this, there are different Murray personnel. So one of them just like, we we can't afford it. The other was like, what do you mean we have seven million dollar network? What do you mean we have to we have to drive to the other side of town to get the blueberries that are on sale?

SPEAKER_04

But but on another flip side, there are some things that sometimes you put a dollar amount to, like, for instance, a sweater. I wouldn't pay six thousand dollars for sweat. There's people that will or purse. See, I disagree with you. So there's people we we all have what we will spend our money on. What do you what is it that you always say? People spend money on what they want.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, people spend more on what's important to them.

SPEAKER_04

What's important to them. So, I mean, it just depends on what's important to you.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I mean, so like you were saying, like, you wouldn't spend six thousand dollars on a sweater, just using that example. I say that that's not necessarily true, I don't think, for most people, because here's the thing: it's all it's all about the budget and the money and the income. If I made $20 million a year, you're trying to tell me that you will spend six and I'm trying to tell you that, yes. I disagree with that.

SPEAKER_04

Because I don't value certain things.

SPEAKER_01

I disagree with that.

SPEAKER_04

I just don't value a small thing. Unless I don't know. Maybe so like my kids' face is etched on them, then I probably would. I don't know. So that's a good point. I don't that's something to think about. Yeah, I mean not to worry about that right now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's 20 million. We gotta figure it out. Not a worry about so but uh but yeah, guys, so like seriously, you have to figure out how to make those differences a superpower. Like me, like I enjoy the money meetings, I enjoy the budgeting, I enjoy knowing we have this amount coming in, this amount going out, we're saving this amount of our income every single month, this amount is going into retirement. Like that fires me up, right? Like I'm on cloud now when I get to do that uh monthly. Like I'm like I love it. Do you love that?

SPEAKER_02

I don't. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01

No, I mean that's fine. I mean, so you see, like that's the thing. Sitting, if it was up, if it was up to me, we would sit out and talk about this every week. We would say, okay, how much did we spend this week? Blah, blah, blah. But I know it's a little too much for my wife. That's a little too much.

SPEAKER_04

I think it's rather not spend.

SPEAKER_01

So let's not talk about. Oh, is that easy? Monthly? Maybe. I mean weekly meetings instead of monthly. Um, yeah, but seriously, though, like you have to figure out what worked for you guys. And again, when I say that Christina is a spender, um, like, here's one of the things I I look back on. Um, Christina has never made me feel like, oh, like what I'm doing isn't good enough. Or if I said, honey, I don't think we can afford that, or I don't think that would be a good financial move for us right now. She's always like, All right then, that's fine. Yeah. But I know in a lot of relationships, it's like, hey, I don't think we should do that, honey. And then someone's getting upset because they they're not getting exactly what they want. And I think that's the piece of it where you have to really sit down and have these money talks when it's not super stressful.

SPEAKER_04

Um not humble yourself and listen to each other and listen to what's important to each other and what makes the person excited, what stresses them out. My thing is I never wanted to be a burden to my husband. So when I came into marriage, um, that was one thing that was top-notch for me. Like I don't want to be a burden in any way to put any kind of stress. Whatever God calls you to do, it is what it is. I support it. And as long as it's morally um acceptable, uh, I want to be your biggest cheerleader. So that's one thing that even prior to marriage, I've always been to you, I think, and I've always been good at because it comes natural to me to encourage and to see money bear on you, like negatively affect you, yeah, that would not be fulfilling for me. Because so it's like um a love and respect thing. Like I respect what you're trying to do, and I understand where we're at, and I'm content with that.

SPEAKER_01

And you know, again, talking about the whole different personality, you guys have to figure out how to make that into the superpower, right? Let's just say I'm a saber, she's a spender, what does that equal? That's sort of like a balance, right? Right? That creates balance because me won't be spending anything, blah, blah, blah, this and that. Um, but that's not realistic. So wherever you guys are, after you um figured out, figure out how to work together, not against each other. Again, there's no right, there's no wrong. You guys have to figure out how to get to where you want to be, right?

SPEAKER_00

You're a team.

SPEAKER_01

Because I remember when we were $200,000 in debt, I could not see the end of it. I couldn't see how we were gonna pay it off. And I remember one of my good buddies, when we started paying it off, paying off the debt, he was like, Hey man, I'm so proud of you to that you're gonna be debt-free. I was like, Well, I hope I am. He was like, No, no, no. He was like, You are going to be debt free. He's like, You've already started it.

SPEAKER_02

That encourages it.

SPEAKER_01

He was like, You don't quit when you start something. And I remember, like, just, okay, I I guess I am gonna be debt free. And again, I remember that last day made that payment. It's just such a good feeling.

SPEAKER_03

God was faithful.

SPEAKER_01

And I want like I want other couples to get there. Um, but it does take a little bit of sacrifice, it does get uncomfortable, you know. It's not fun for uh two, three years paying off debt, like like it's not fun per se. Yeah. But it is fun once it's over. So I mean that's that's for sure.

SPEAKER_04

Um there's another, we'll talk about this on another episode, obviously, but then more money, more problems. So there goes that. That's why being content is important and being grounded with in and having communication with each other's vital. Um and having your expectations um kind of stated.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Because um unrealistic expectations kills marriages. Um, those are important things that we'll discuss.

SPEAKER_01

So I believe, you know, like one of the I'm gonna give you guys a practical tip. Listen into this right now. You and your you and your spouse, you guys need to sit down, take the quiz together, it'll be in the show notes, take the quiz together, and sit down and talk about it. No judgment, really figure out how you guys are gonna do this, because that's gonna be a game changer. That's step one, right? You do that, now you're on the right track, right? Because, again, too often no one's really talking about it. Everyone sort of just knows they sort of put that credit card bill. But if you really sit out and do the thing, right, building that debt list, getting ready for the snowball. I I love the debt snowball over the Avalanche method, but that's just personal preference. But if you really get locked in, I assure you that you will pay off the debt sooner than you think, right? Because what when we wrote down the mad, we thought it was gonna take us about five-ish years, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but God showed up.

SPEAKER_01

No, I know I'm not saying God, I'm just saying the like because because what a lot of people don't understand is that we actually like our income increased during um a pandemic when all gyms were shut down.

SPEAKER_04

We were in the gym industry. So for it to increase while the world was shutting down, especially in this, you know, in the what would we call it, the luxury items of life. Um, those things were shutting down. We were so blessed. So it's hard for me. Yes, I know what you're saying. Yep, it's true, but it's way practical.

SPEAKER_01

When we sat out and did that, man, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

No, I thought it was gonna take us way longer than needed that.

SPEAKER_01

Five years or something. And I remember thinking, like, man, I don't know, man. It was a mountain like, man, do we five years gonna be a long time of not doing a lot, right? Right? Not having to, you know, not go on vacations and do stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04

Big sacrifice, especially when you count how old your kids are and how old they're gonna be able to do. I remember that was a big one.

SPEAKER_01

I remember that was a big one for you. It was.

SPEAKER_04

I'm like, oh my gosh, we're missing out on everything.

SPEAKER_01

But so really, guys, like um understanding your money personalities definitely doesn't change everything overnight, right? We're not sitting right here and say, oh, we'll should you do that? No, but it's a great starting point. And once you really start working on it, now you're gonna be more empathetic and really understand, like, man, we can really do this. Because I don't want anyone to think like they're broken, right? Because a lot of times one of the one of the people in the relationship is very um astute and loves keeping up with the money, and at times that can come off as prideful, so they make the other person feel like they're broken or something. No one is broken, just wired totally differently when it comes to this thing, and that's a great thing, right? Like both of you guys are wired the way you should be wired. Now you just have to come together and figure out how to make it work. So, um, guys, we're gonna get out of here. I'm not gonna keep you any longer, but as always, tell a friend. Oh no, hold on. So, I was supposed to tell you guys if you're watching this on YouTube, hit the subscribe button. We're gonna try to grow the YouTube, that's why we're filming it. Um, and if you just listen to the podcast, obviously subscribe to that. It helps us help more couples. That's our goal. We want to help tons of couples. One day we're gonna meet tons of you guys when we started recording a podcast from our living room. So if you're listening, subscribe. YouTube, Apple, everywhere, whatever, if you're watching it, listening to it. Now, as I was saying, as always, tell a friend to tell a friend to tune in, and we will chat with you guys next week. All right.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you for listening to the Matrimony and Money Podcast. We hope you enjoy. And of course, feel free to hit that subscribe button and leave us a review. Now, to be a part of this show and get your financial and marriage questions answered, send your emails to matrimonyandmoney at gmail.com. That's matrimonyandmoney at gmail.com. Until next time, we bless you with a thriving marriage and the ability to build generational wealth. Oh yeah.