1 00:00:01,330 --> 00:00:04,040 Bryan: What do you remember of your Christmases when you were a 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:04,530 child? 3 00:00:05,669 --> 00:00:10,220 Is it all the fancy gifts, and you made a list for your Santa 4 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:10,820 parents? 5 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,849 And you got everything on that list? 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:18,289 Or, do you remember the times that you had a special occasion 7 00:00:18,289 --> 00:00:18,929 at Christmas? 8 00:00:18,929 --> 00:00:20,640 You had something special happen at Christmas. 9 00:00:20,660 --> 00:00:21,820 It was family time. 10 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,989 You did carols, if you liked carols. 11 00:00:23,989 --> 00:00:26,750 You ate fruitcake, if that was your jam with your family. 12 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,920 You had all those memories. 13 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:29,929 What do you remember? 14 00:00:30,379 --> 00:00:35,070 There's a cultural pressure right now that we are feeling 15 00:00:35,289 --> 00:00:36,030 currently. 16 00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:41,549 I was doing some research and this year in 2023 they're 17 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,240 expecting a 1. 18 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:49,155 3 trillion dollar worldwide retail Consumer amount of money 19 00:00:49,164 --> 00:00:50,945 being purchased over Christmas. 20 00:00:51,554 --> 00:00:54,304 There is a reason for the season, and it isn't the gifts, 21 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:58,085 not that gifts are bad, but we have to look at our family, and 22 00:00:58,085 --> 00:01:00,994 today we want to talk about finances and having small 23 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:04,295 children, finances and being married, and what that looks 24 00:01:04,295 --> 00:01:04,625 like. 25 00:01:05,105 --> 00:01:09,704 Because when you're not having the amount of resources you 26 00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:12,204 would love to have, Christmas is something that can be quite 27 00:01:12,204 --> 00:01:12,674 daunting. 28 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:34,260 Natalie: Welcome to another episode of Amplified Marriage. 29 00:01:34,299 --> 00:01:36,840 I'm Natalie and I'm Brian, wherever you are, whatever 30 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,450 you're doing. 31 00:01:37,459 --> 00:01:41,219 As you hear us say, always grab a tea, grab a coffee, a snack, 32 00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:42,239 get cozy and comfy. 33 00:01:42,239 --> 00:01:44,019 We're so glad you're here to have our chat 34 00:01:44,019 --> 00:01:44,349 Bryan: today. 35 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,480 And just for your listening pleasure, if you happen to miss 36 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,909 the last well, two weeks ago, we did an episode kind of wrapped. 37 00:01:52,015 --> 00:01:53,614 up the silent strain. 38 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,564 We did tension, fear, and a couple others. 39 00:01:55,855 --> 00:01:59,704 This last one was all about just the misconceptions about those 40 00:01:59,704 --> 00:02:02,715 relationships, misconceptions about tension in marriage. 41 00:02:02,715 --> 00:02:05,305 And so if you get a chance, it'd be great if you go back and 42 00:02:05,314 --> 00:02:06,405 listen to that. 43 00:02:08,514 --> 00:02:10,735 Natalie: Today we're talking about, I don't know what topic 44 00:02:10,735 --> 00:02:13,634 that's, I guess, near and dear. 45 00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:18,525 To our hearts we've titled this, and perhaps this will be a 46 00:02:18,525 --> 00:02:21,044 Christmas series because we're, you know, we've got three 47 00:02:21,514 --> 00:02:23,754 episodes before the new year. 48 00:02:23,784 --> 00:02:24,155 This is a 49 00:02:24,155 --> 00:02:24,824 Bryan: working title. 50 00:02:24,824 --> 00:02:27,574 This is not like the final, you know, don't, don't give the 51 00:02:27,585 --> 00:02:29,305 title because I don't want people to be like, Oh, that's 52 00:02:29,344 --> 00:02:30,414 the, they didn't use that one. 53 00:02:30,794 --> 00:02:31,275 Natalie: That's right. 54 00:02:31,314 --> 00:02:36,974 But you know, for us, when we had littler kids and I mean, 55 00:02:36,974 --> 00:02:41,085 we've got, you know, well, one adult and two teenagers. 56 00:02:43,104 --> 00:02:47,655 Back when we, when they were younger, yeah, we just struggled 57 00:02:47,675 --> 00:02:55,215 incredibly with finances and especially around Christmas time 58 00:02:55,215 --> 00:02:58,495 and, you know, generally we struggled our kids are like, we 59 00:02:58,495 --> 00:02:59,344 were poor, 60 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,055 Bryan: They think when they can't get Pepsi that 61 00:03:03,055 --> 00:03:03,534 Natalie: we're poor. 62 00:03:03,675 --> 00:03:07,514 And if we're, you know, defining poverty by how much. 63 00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:09,004 Christmas gifts. 64 00:03:09,004 --> 00:03:10,814 I mean, you have and how much Christmas, then yeah, we were 65 00:03:10,835 --> 00:03:11,604 dirt poor. 66 00:03:12,645 --> 00:03:12,805 Wow. 67 00:03:13,175 --> 00:03:16,474 And it just, it got us talking about what are some of the 68 00:03:16,474 --> 00:03:18,985 struggles with this season coming in and that was just the 69 00:03:18,985 --> 00:03:24,675 first thing that popped to my mind was the pressure to provide 70 00:03:25,044 --> 00:03:30,305 a Hallmark Christmas movie Christmas for your children. 71 00:03:30,324 --> 00:03:34,384 And what does that look like when you physically count? 72 00:03:34,485 --> 00:03:34,974 Well, 73 00:03:36,615 --> 00:03:37,485 Bryan: I think that. 74 00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:43,060 Like, I have a, I have really strong opinions about Christmas 75 00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:47,629 and I think partially because we've had to live it with our 76 00:03:47,629 --> 00:03:51,409 own kids, but also this attitude that like, even when I said 77 00:03:51,419 --> 00:03:58,865 before, the, the way we look at Christmas without with the way 78 00:03:58,865 --> 00:04:01,705 that we, that, that nor the culture is telling us you have 79 00:04:01,705 --> 00:04:02,004 to do this. 80 00:04:02,004 --> 00:04:04,974 You have to have make a list is very commercialized. 81 00:04:04,974 --> 00:04:06,745 You have to put, make the gifts that you want. 82 00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:08,985 We believe in our house and we do this. 83 00:04:09,004 --> 00:04:10,074 It's all about family. 84 00:04:10,145 --> 00:04:10,884 It's all about you. 85 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,275 We're not going to get the kids know that if they give us a list 86 00:04:13,275 --> 00:04:16,665 of 10 or 12 things they really want, they're going to get a 87 00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:18,095 couple, they're not getting the whole thing. 88 00:04:18,365 --> 00:04:21,305 That's been the way it has been in our house because we don't 89 00:04:21,305 --> 00:04:23,074 want our kids to think that well every Christmas they're going to 90 00:04:23,074 --> 00:04:25,685 get everything they want because as our kids, you know, anyone 91 00:04:25,685 --> 00:04:26,995 that has kids that's listening to this. 92 00:04:27,824 --> 00:04:30,995 This is you're gonna realize that as your kids get older 93 00:04:31,144 --> 00:04:34,975 their tastes get more expensive If I ask my 18 year old what he 94 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:38,365 wants for Christmas He's telling me some kind of PC part that way 95 00:04:38,394 --> 00:04:43,175 that that costs like 400 Yeah, my other son is a musician and 96 00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:46,415 if I ask him what he wants for Christmas, it's some kind of 400 97 00:04:46,735 --> 00:04:50,904 MIDI keyboard or plug in thing for his guitar like that it 98 00:04:50,904 --> 00:04:55,800 changes and so there's just so heavy undue pressure Unneeded 99 00:04:55,819 --> 00:04:58,410 pressure on parents to provide what you said earlier, which is 100 00:04:58,410 --> 00:05:01,160 a really good way to put it a hallmark Christmas, a hallmark 101 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:06,319 Christmas that really, ultimately, in my opinion, and I 102 00:05:06,319 --> 00:05:08,709 would say just to take the pressure off yourself, in my 103 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,029 opinion, it is unnecessary 104 00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:14,670 Natalie: and you know, When I was just sharing this with Brian 105 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:19,360 earlier, but back when our kids were little, we didn't have 106 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,029 YouTube and Instagram and all these, you know, you tick talk 107 00:05:23,029 --> 00:05:27,560 if you're into that, which we're not people sort of like 108 00:05:27,569 --> 00:05:33,045 influencing, you know, Some of the videos that have come across 109 00:05:33,045 --> 00:05:36,605 my newsfeed have been like look at all the things We're buying 110 00:05:36,634 --> 00:05:39,035 our kids for Christmas, and I was like well isn't that kind of 111 00:05:39,035 --> 00:05:39,954 fascinating? 112 00:05:41,764 --> 00:05:44,985 Because it does one of two things and yes, you know if you 113 00:05:44,995 --> 00:05:49,355 have the ability to provide a Miraculous Christmas for your 114 00:05:49,355 --> 00:05:50,785 kids all the power to you. 115 00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:52,805 Yeah, and this isn't this isn't a 116 00:05:52,915 --> 00:05:53,954 Bryan: I yuck your yum Cuz 117 00:05:54,194 --> 00:05:54,654 Natalie: you can do that. 118 00:05:54,694 --> 00:06:00,404 No that not at all but a lot of people can't provide that for 119 00:06:00,404 --> 00:06:04,285 their kids and so yes, they can choose not to watch your video. 120 00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:05,355 That is very true. 121 00:06:05,415 --> 00:06:05,654 Yeah. 122 00:06:05,925 --> 00:06:11,425 So we're speaking from non socialized or like we didn't 123 00:06:11,435 --> 00:06:15,314 have the social influences that we have today when our kids were 124 00:06:15,314 --> 00:06:15,675 little. 125 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,555 So you know, we. 126 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:25,314 And we beat ourselves up and the guilt was just as fierce, and 127 00:06:25,314 --> 00:06:30,295 the shame was just as fierce back when we didn't have YouTube 128 00:06:30,295 --> 00:06:34,314 and all of these platforms the intensity of the feeling of not 129 00:06:34,314 --> 00:06:38,185 being able to provide Christmas as, as what you imagine 130 00:06:38,185 --> 00:06:39,435 Christmas is supposed to be. 131 00:06:39,564 --> 00:06:41,925 And yes, we know Jesus is the reason for the season, but 132 00:06:42,295 --> 00:06:44,324 there's an element of blessing. 133 00:06:45,435 --> 00:06:48,435 Be and being a blessing to others and to our children and 134 00:06:48,435 --> 00:06:49,504 that we just could not provide 135 00:06:49,504 --> 00:06:53,774 Bryan: also just a reality of Of what we're inundated every 136 00:06:53,774 --> 00:06:56,884 single day with when it comes to christmas Like you go on to what 137 00:06:56,944 --> 00:06:59,134 you said what you go on to instagram you watch any 138 00:06:59,134 --> 00:07:01,774 commercials and we don't have cable anywhere But you watch 139 00:07:01,795 --> 00:07:05,324 anything anywhere at this time of season Everything is pushing 140 00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:08,214 you to buy buy buy and get that perfect gift or get the diamonds 141 00:07:08,214 --> 00:07:11,845 for your like here We're talking about the strain When you have 142 00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:14,254 little children, there's a strain, even when you're just 143 00:07:14,514 --> 00:07:17,425 early married to buy the perfect gift and it has to be expensive. 144 00:07:17,425 --> 00:07:20,365 And yes, unless you've had those conversations, that can be a 145 00:07:20,365 --> 00:07:25,535 tough conversation to have in general about finances when it 146 00:07:25,535 --> 00:07:26,365 comes to Christmas time. 147 00:07:26,384 --> 00:07:29,365 Because like, it's interesting because as an adult, when I need 148 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,675 something, I go and buy it. 149 00:07:30,925 --> 00:07:31,384 Right. 150 00:07:32,264 --> 00:07:34,944 And at Christmas time, the things that I want, well now, 151 00:07:34,975 --> 00:07:37,665 yeah, now because we have the finances, but there's, there's 152 00:07:37,704 --> 00:07:39,774 things that like, if I'm looking, I really need to 153 00:07:39,774 --> 00:07:40,774 replace my earbuds. 154 00:07:41,274 --> 00:07:44,735 It's not like an end of world thing if I don't get it right 155 00:07:44,735 --> 00:07:45,774 now, right? 156 00:07:45,774 --> 00:07:50,024 Like it's but as an adult I'm gonna wait until it's feasible 157 00:07:50,024 --> 00:07:52,004 and then I'm gonna go out and do it Right, which is generally if 158 00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:52,935 it's on sale. 159 00:07:52,954 --> 00:07:55,154 Yeah, and and if it's one of those things that like but 160 00:07:55,154 --> 00:07:56,714 that's just that's it That's a luxury. 161 00:07:56,714 --> 00:07:57,564 That's not a necessity. 162 00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:58,894 That's just a luxury exactly when 163 00:07:58,894 --> 00:08:02,524 Natalie: our kids were little we went without Oh, yeah. 164 00:08:02,595 --> 00:08:03,795 So they did not. 165 00:08:03,795 --> 00:08:07,644 And so, you know, painting a picture what that looks like. 166 00:08:07,935 --> 00:08:11,384 Our kids needed boots or our kids needed clothes or our kids 167 00:08:11,384 --> 00:08:14,245 needed snow suits and winter clothes. 168 00:08:14,245 --> 00:08:17,194 We lived in a northern climate, which snowed all the time. 169 00:08:17,694 --> 00:08:18,564 It was cold. 170 00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:23,485 And so we were duct taping our boots because our kids needed, 171 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,464 they, they got before we got. 172 00:08:26,535 --> 00:08:26,805 Yeah. 173 00:08:26,904 --> 00:08:29,295 And, and it wasn't because, you know, we weren't self caring. 174 00:08:29,295 --> 00:08:33,575 No, it was legitimately so that they didn't freeze to death, 175 00:08:33,575 --> 00:08:33,815 right? 176 00:08:33,815 --> 00:08:34,024 Like, 177 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,004 Bryan: yeah, we're in the north. 178 00:08:36,014 --> 00:08:37,085 They need to have warm clothing. 179 00:08:37,375 --> 00:08:39,684 Well, and then there's times I just remember where we'd eat 180 00:08:39,684 --> 00:08:42,424 less or I would go without a meal because we had groceries or 181 00:08:42,424 --> 00:08:43,605 two days away or we're 182 00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:47,195 Natalie: eating macaroni and cheese and they're eating the 183 00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:48,514 last of the chicken and 184 00:08:48,514 --> 00:08:49,144 Bryan: rice, right? 185 00:08:49,205 --> 00:08:54,419 Like Just like I remember like doubling up on like pairs of 186 00:08:54,419 --> 00:08:57,559 socks because one pair had a hole in them, but I needed not 187 00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:58,049 to have holes. 188 00:08:58,049 --> 00:09:00,549 I put another pair over top and I couldn't wear in the gear. 189 00:09:00,549 --> 00:09:02,990 Just I need to be extra warm as you do what you like. 190 00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:04,669 Just a little little things that you do. 191 00:09:05,889 --> 00:09:09,490 I remember always scavenging laces from other boots to fit 192 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,299 the ones that I had. 193 00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:11,049 Natalie: Exactly. 194 00:09:11,090 --> 00:09:11,340 And. 195 00:09:12,225 --> 00:09:16,715 Like you had a job and we still had rent to pay and we still had 196 00:09:16,884 --> 00:09:19,735 gas to put in the vehicle and and food to put in the fridge 197 00:09:19,735 --> 00:09:22,434 and this is like 16 years ago. 198 00:09:22,485 --> 00:09:24,404 It was way cheaper than it is now. 199 00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:28,784 And so like all of our rent and our bills and our hydro and our 200 00:09:28,794 --> 00:09:31,245 gas and all of that was paid. 201 00:09:31,429 --> 00:09:35,960 Which meant there was like no money left over for any extras. 202 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:41,820 So when we're saying, you know, we were, we providing Christmas 203 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:45,919 as far as the commercial side of Christmas and being able to buy 204 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:50,570 our kids presents was really challenging because there wasn't 205 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,919 extra money to do that. 206 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,110 Bryan: Well, I remember a time when we were early married and 207 00:09:54,129 --> 00:09:57,299 even early with kids that you're like, you can't get a coffee 208 00:09:57,299 --> 00:09:57,720 today. 209 00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:01,554 We have to have every That 2 will be the difference between 210 00:10:01,554 --> 00:10:04,085 us being able to pay off a bill and not being able to pay a 211 00:10:04,085 --> 00:10:04,434 bill. 212 00:10:04,615 --> 00:10:05,235 Natalie: Exactly. 213 00:10:05,235 --> 00:10:10,245 Now, having said that and this is just a plugin for finding 214 00:10:10,245 --> 00:10:11,125 community. 215 00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:11,605 Yeah. 216 00:10:11,914 --> 00:10:14,585 At this time of the year, especially because we were 217 00:10:14,585 --> 00:10:18,115 plugged into a really great church and we had community. 218 00:10:18,154 --> 00:10:21,524 And that wasn't to say that we leached off the community by any 219 00:10:21,524 --> 00:10:22,284 stretch of the word. 220 00:10:22,625 --> 00:10:24,095 We went about doing what. 221 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:28,139 What we'd always done and we were on a very strict budget. 222 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:34,240 Yeah, and The Lord used that like the community that we were 223 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:38,330 involved to bless us and and they did yeah, and so we never 224 00:10:38,774 --> 00:10:41,764 Even when it felt like, oh, we've got our last like 1. 225 00:10:41,764 --> 00:10:43,674 50 in the bank, Lord. 226 00:10:44,904 --> 00:10:49,845 Somehow, by his miraculous provision we'd get a gift card 227 00:10:49,845 --> 00:10:51,375 for a superstore. 228 00:10:51,644 --> 00:10:53,284 We'd get a gift card for Walmart. 229 00:10:53,325 --> 00:10:55,215 Or we had a gentleman in our church at the time. 230 00:10:55,215 --> 00:10:55,745 That wasn't 231 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:56,684 Bryan: just at Christmas. 232 00:10:56,684 --> 00:10:57,715 That was No, like that 233 00:10:57,715 --> 00:10:59,054 Natalie: was throughout the year, right? 234 00:10:59,054 --> 00:11:03,345 But, you know, we really, I'll speak to me. 235 00:11:03,465 --> 00:11:09,294 I really felt the guilt and the pressure to not provide. 236 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:12,095 CHristmas gifts for my kids. 237 00:11:12,115 --> 00:11:12,735 And so, 238 00:11:13,384 --> 00:11:17,225 Bryan: and I, I, I didn't feel the Christmas gifts so much as 239 00:11:17,225 --> 00:11:20,254 just the overall pressure as the breadwinner of the house to be 240 00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:21,485 able to look after the house. 241 00:11:22,075 --> 00:11:22,615 Right. 242 00:11:22,674 --> 00:11:22,934 Right. 243 00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:26,955 And to be able to, as long as like our, and it was never like 244 00:11:26,955 --> 00:11:29,375 I was carrying that weight without you knowing about it. 245 00:11:29,934 --> 00:11:32,595 It's not like that's a surprise to you, but men carry that 246 00:11:32,595 --> 00:11:34,125 weight when you're the breadwinner of the home and 247 00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:34,664 that's your. 248 00:11:35,225 --> 00:11:36,184 And that's what you need to do. 249 00:11:36,184 --> 00:11:38,835 And it's not when Natalie's not where Natalie's worked a lot, 250 00:11:39,085 --> 00:11:41,294 like even when the kids were young, she always had a part 251 00:11:41,294 --> 00:11:42,965 time thing happening, cleaning, blah, blah, blah. 252 00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:46,695 But there's just this weight all the time that it's not just 253 00:11:46,695 --> 00:11:48,365 Christmas, whereas you're focused on Christmas. 254 00:11:48,404 --> 00:11:51,715 I'm thinking, Lord, I need to, I need to pay rent every single 255 00:11:51,715 --> 00:11:51,975 month. 256 00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:54,225 I need to make sure that they have clothes and shoes and 257 00:11:54,225 --> 00:11:54,845 school supplies. 258 00:11:54,855 --> 00:11:57,404 School supplies are embarrassingly expensive, right? 259 00:11:57,414 --> 00:11:59,774 Like I need, I needed uniforms when the kids were at the 260 00:11:59,774 --> 00:12:02,965 traditional school or we need to, they need teeth when the 261 00:12:02,975 --> 00:12:03,585 kids get older. 262 00:12:03,585 --> 00:12:06,684 Like all of these things that happen that I'm just constantly 263 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,644 mulling about, like I want to be able to take them away on a 264 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:09,274 vacation. 265 00:12:09,634 --> 00:12:10,505 Yeah, there was no vacation. 266 00:12:10,505 --> 00:12:11,565 There was no vacation. 267 00:12:11,575 --> 00:12:13,794 And like, We had people pass away in our family and we 268 00:12:13,794 --> 00:12:16,725 couldn't even afford unless someone helped us come down, 269 00:12:16,725 --> 00:12:19,164 which happened a few times because it was even 270 00:12:19,465 --> 00:12:20,245 embarrassing. 271 00:12:20,254 --> 00:12:20,544 Right. 272 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:25,644 And, and that's the thing is that it, for us, it was less so 273 00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:28,875 for me, but still embarrassing when someone or my mom or my 274 00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:31,684 brother in law Jeremy would be like, Hey, I'm dude, I'm, I'm 275 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:32,245 here to help. 276 00:12:32,245 --> 00:12:32,995 Like, what do you need? 277 00:12:32,995 --> 00:12:34,894 Like, and we had that kind of thing, right? 278 00:12:34,894 --> 00:12:37,095 Like it's embarrassing. 279 00:12:37,659 --> 00:12:41,000 But there's times that we couldn't do trips and come down 280 00:12:41,029 --> 00:12:43,350 and because someone passed away because we just didn't have the 281 00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:46,450 finances to be able to take it from Alberta all the way to BC, 282 00:12:46,639 --> 00:12:51,429 which in our van back then was still 200, 250 there and back 283 00:12:51,429 --> 00:12:52,960 just in fuel because it's a van, 284 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:53,669 Natalie: right? 285 00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:59,090 And, you know, it, it seemed as though every time we had, we, we 286 00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:02,679 got a little bit ahead, there was some catastrophe where like 287 00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:06,940 our van cost 3, 000 to fix, or all of a sudden we needed a new 288 00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:09,389 tire, and like we're speaking from experience, this legit 289 00:13:09,399 --> 00:13:09,759 happened. 290 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:13,759 Bryan: At one, at one point, I remember me and you just, and 291 00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:16,370 this was back when the van was still like relatively new ish, 292 00:13:16,399 --> 00:13:19,600 it was only four or five years, just thinking, what's the point 293 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,269 of saving money if every time we get ahead, we have to blow it? 294 00:13:23,539 --> 00:13:25,480 It was on like what? 295 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,490 They're not stupid things like, 296 00:13:27,879 --> 00:13:30,720 Natalie: well, things we don't want to have to, you know, 297 00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:31,870 repair the car. 298 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,779 We'd like for that money to be used for something else. 299 00:13:34,799 --> 00:13:35,139 Yeah, 300 00:13:35,139 --> 00:13:35,690 Bryan: like we want to. 301 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,549 Yeah, we like, let's get all that we need for school or for 302 00:13:38,549 --> 00:13:38,850 food. 303 00:13:38,909 --> 00:13:41,409 And every time we had any kind of substantial amount of 304 00:13:41,409 --> 00:13:43,950 savings, it was always our vehicle for quite a few years. 305 00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:46,139 It was our vehicle that has burned us like it was so 306 00:13:46,139 --> 00:13:46,529 annoying. 307 00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:51,565 Natalie: Yeah, but it was it was hard and it was humiliating to 308 00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:59,644 have to at one ask for help and to lay our pride down and I'm 309 00:13:59,644 --> 00:14:03,524 speaking to myself, lay my pride down to receive the help as in 310 00:14:03,595 --> 00:14:04,514 the food bank. 311 00:14:04,995 --> 00:14:08,195 And that was a hard one that I remember. 312 00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:09,950 Bryan: That was a hard one to swallow. 313 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:14,169 Natalie: One year specifically when you or someone we knew had 314 00:14:14,169 --> 00:14:17,269 signed us up for a food bank because we would not sign 315 00:14:17,269 --> 00:14:19,639 ourselves up because it was so embarrassing. 316 00:14:20,179 --> 00:14:23,750 And it came time to like get it and I said to Brian, Brian's 317 00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:24,690 like, like, should we go? 318 00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:26,200 And I'm like, well, you can go. 319 00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:28,445 There's no way I'm going. 320 00:14:29,164 --> 00:14:30,855 I was just so embarrassed 321 00:14:30,865 --> 00:14:32,524 Bryan: and And I, I went cause 322 00:14:32,575 --> 00:14:35,245 Natalie: I understood it And you went and I was just, I remember 323 00:14:35,264 --> 00:14:47,054 like Oh, I'm getting emotional I just remember feeling so 324 00:14:47,455 --> 00:14:55,695 discouraged Because, like, in my mind, you've reached the bottom 325 00:14:57,215 --> 00:15:03,934 If, if we're at a food bank And I was like, Lord, like It was 326 00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:09,644 just the most humbling Yep I'm so grateful For the food bank, 327 00:15:09,644 --> 00:15:18,085 but there was a lot of emotions as you can still tell it, it put 328 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:27,924 an into perspective how one blessed we were because of the 329 00:15:27,924 --> 00:15:31,004 generosity of others donating to the food bank so that they could 330 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,225 be a blessing to us. 331 00:15:32,325 --> 00:15:32,914 And how 332 00:15:33,245 --> 00:15:35,894 Bryan: helpful the food bank was to lots of people, 333 00:15:35,955 --> 00:15:39,625 Natalie: the food bank, it was, and it wasn't, it wasn't a. 334 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:45,789 No, but your mind plays tricks on you if you are in a position 335 00:15:45,789 --> 00:15:49,899 where you are needing that kind of help and it was one of those 336 00:15:49,899 --> 00:15:54,049 things where it was like I could, I could hold onto my 337 00:15:54,049 --> 00:16:00,080 pride and my children could go hungry or I could let go of the 338 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,259 pride and just be like, you know what, this is, this isn't going 339 00:16:03,259 --> 00:16:07,710 to be forever and we will be in a position one day to be able to 340 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:13,700 return the, the generosity. 341 00:16:14,059 --> 00:16:14,440 Right. 342 00:16:15,419 --> 00:16:22,200 So, oh, I say that to say if you find yourself in, in the similar 343 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:27,840 situation, it's not always going to be that way. 344 00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:33,090 And I say for the ones who are in a position to be a blessing, 345 00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,850 what a great time of the year. 346 00:16:36,990 --> 00:16:39,070 yOu know, and we're in a position now where we can be 347 00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:44,230 that blessing and we can pay it back and we can pay it forward 348 00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:47,570 so that other people who might be feeling the weight. 349 00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:51,054 At this time of the year, maybe that will just ease it a 350 00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:51,475 Bryan: little. 351 00:16:51,585 --> 00:16:52,815 Yeah, absolutely. 352 00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:58,184 It, I remember after I came back and you saw all the food that 353 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,575 they were giving away and that wasn't even the only time there 354 00:17:00,575 --> 00:17:01,294 was another time. 355 00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:04,224 We'll get to that in a minute, but I remember us talking about 356 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:07,845 it and then subsequent weeks after that, the following week 357 00:17:07,845 --> 00:17:12,575 or two and how it was in that moment that we realized that. 358 00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:16,630 aLmost this, this, we eat the pride, we push back on it and 359 00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:18,730 we're like, we're have to, we're going to have to ask for help 360 00:17:19,069 --> 00:17:23,720 and how that in the future made it for us so much. 361 00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:26,809 It's still hard to ask for help because you know, we're self 362 00:17:26,809 --> 00:17:30,160 sufficient people, we're independent, but it also paved 363 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,109 the way for us to be able to look back and be like, Hey, 364 00:17:33,490 --> 00:17:36,480 people blessed us immensely and took care of things. 365 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,430 I remember one year. 366 00:17:38,609 --> 00:17:40,220 I don't know who signed this up for this. 367 00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:42,519 I suspected, but they would always deny it to my face. 368 00:17:43,589 --> 00:17:46,319 But the one year we get a knock on the door, I got a phone call 369 00:17:46,319 --> 00:17:47,500 myself, my work cell phone. 370 00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:50,880 And I'm like, hi, this is Brian because I worked sometimes I 371 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,569 worked with drug addicts and sometimes I get phone calls at 372 00:17:53,569 --> 00:17:55,380 like eight o'clock at night and I get this phone call from 373 00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:57,970 someone, Hey, this is something from a camera, the name of the 374 00:17:58,150 --> 00:18:01,819 Canadian shoppers, no Canadian wholesale, Canadian wholesale. 375 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,430 Every year someone puts a name in. 376 00:18:04,634 --> 00:18:07,105 I'd like people put names in multiple names, like probably a 377 00:18:07,105 --> 00:18:09,615 hundred names will go into this thing and Shoppers Wholesale 378 00:18:09,615 --> 00:18:11,944 will bless one or two families, right? 379 00:18:12,305 --> 00:18:14,144 And so I get this phone call saying, Hey, this is Canadian 380 00:18:14,144 --> 00:18:14,525 Wholesale. 381 00:18:14,525 --> 00:18:15,694 And I thought I had a wrong number. 382 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:18,275 I'm like, and I laughed on the phone. 383 00:18:18,275 --> 00:18:19,224 He's like, yeah, this is Brian. 384 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,934 He said, no, we don't know that you're coming and said, Hey, 385 00:18:22,105 --> 00:18:23,525 well, you redirected them to me. 386 00:18:23,565 --> 00:18:26,585 It was like, yeah, no, I think I was like, now, did you, did you 387 00:18:26,585 --> 00:18:27,365 sign up for anything? 388 00:18:27,365 --> 00:18:29,115 And you're like, no, I was like, okay, what's going on? 389 00:18:29,434 --> 00:18:31,815 So literally five minutes later, this truck pulls up. 390 00:18:31,815 --> 00:18:32,214 No, no, no. 391 00:18:33,484 --> 00:18:34,414 What do you, what do you mean, no, no, 392 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,954 Natalie: no, because this was on, we were expecting our 393 00:18:37,954 --> 00:18:42,724 daughter on a Tuesday and so they had phoned on like, Oh 394 00:18:42,724 --> 00:18:43,704 Bryan: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 395 00:18:43,704 --> 00:18:44,265 Natalie: pregnancy. 396 00:18:44,394 --> 00:18:44,855 Yeah. 397 00:18:44,865 --> 00:18:47,914 They had phoned and they said, Hey, it's, you know, we got your 398 00:18:47,914 --> 00:18:49,884 name and you, you, congratulations. 399 00:18:49,884 --> 00:18:50,315 You won. 400 00:18:50,325 --> 00:18:52,184 And myself was like, Oh, scam. 401 00:18:52,634 --> 00:18:52,875 It's a 402 00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:53,255 Bryan: scam. 403 00:18:53,464 --> 00:18:53,795 Scam. 404 00:18:53,795 --> 00:18:54,194 That's what I mean. 405 00:18:54,204 --> 00:18:54,464 It's like, 406 00:18:54,464 --> 00:18:56,315 Natalie: did you sign up for anything? 407 00:18:56,315 --> 00:18:57,724 Like, I'm going to tell you where I live. 408 00:18:57,755 --> 00:18:58,075 Yeah. 409 00:18:58,265 --> 00:18:58,644 Anyways. 410 00:18:58,644 --> 00:18:59,914 They're like, they laughed on the phone. 411 00:18:59,914 --> 00:19:03,529 They're like, I know it seems hokey pokey, but it's legit. 412 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:04,660 I'm pretty sure they didn't use hokey pokey. 413 00:19:04,670 --> 00:19:07,299 And so I was like, whatever, we'll see if you show up. 414 00:19:07,309 --> 00:19:09,589 So Monday, the day before our daughter was born. 415 00:19:10,404 --> 00:19:11,865 A what? 416 00:19:11,865 --> 00:19:13,585 It was a five ton cube 417 00:19:13,595 --> 00:19:15,295 Bryan: van, but it was 418 00:19:15,295 --> 00:19:20,424 Natalie: big, showed up and it was just like bag and boxes 419 00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:21,644 after boxes. 420 00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:21,845 They 421 00:19:21,904 --> 00:19:25,285 Bryan: outfitted all of our kids with complete snowsuits, gloves, 422 00:19:25,305 --> 00:19:27,414 to scarves, jackets. 423 00:19:28,095 --> 00:19:31,275 Boots they gave us food to last us like two months. 424 00:19:31,275 --> 00:19:35,325 They gave us they gave us gifts the kids gifts of the unborn 425 00:19:35,325 --> 00:19:35,934 baby Gifts. 426 00:19:35,934 --> 00:19:38,224 Yeah, we had they gave us diapers 427 00:19:38,224 --> 00:19:40,644 Natalie: and wipes which you know for those who are new 428 00:19:40,835 --> 00:19:45,325 parents that is blessing It's 429 00:19:45,325 --> 00:19:45,865 costly. 430 00:19:46,134 --> 00:19:46,384 Bryan: Right. 431 00:19:46,615 --> 00:19:49,224 And so they, they gave us all this stuff and I just, I'm 432 00:19:49,234 --> 00:19:50,694 standing in there just in awe. 433 00:19:51,115 --> 00:19:52,154 Like what is happening? 434 00:19:52,154 --> 00:19:54,654 And Natalie is standing in the kitchen, just kind of like 435 00:19:55,134 --> 00:19:55,615 crying. 436 00:19:55,615 --> 00:19:57,414 You're crying in the kitchen while you're about to have a 437 00:19:57,414 --> 00:19:57,755 baby. 438 00:19:57,755 --> 00:19:58,845 So you're like, I'm done with this. 439 00:19:58,855 --> 00:19:59,984 I'm uber emotional. 440 00:19:59,984 --> 00:20:01,625 I need to have this child out of me now. 441 00:20:02,115 --> 00:20:04,115 And it was just an emotional time. 442 00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:06,964 And they literally walked in, said, Merry Christmas, be 443 00:20:06,964 --> 00:20:08,565 blessed and turn around and walked out. 444 00:20:08,565 --> 00:20:09,075 And that was it. 445 00:20:09,285 --> 00:20:10,835 Like there was no big fanfare. 446 00:20:11,424 --> 00:20:11,595 Natalie: No. 447 00:20:11,595 --> 00:20:12,904 And they had wrapped everything. 448 00:20:12,904 --> 00:20:17,275 And so they had asked, so the people that we suspect knew our 449 00:20:17,275 --> 00:20:20,664 family very well and knew the kids interest. 450 00:20:20,714 --> 00:20:23,164 And so we didn't know what. 451 00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:28,150 They had because everything was wrapped in Christmas wrap and so 452 00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:33,420 again It was kind of like that that motion of like I can 453 00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:37,269 provide for my own family Yep Like I don't need a handout and 454 00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:40,019 so that there was that initial thought that had come through my 455 00:20:40,019 --> 00:20:44,519 mind and I was a little perturbed of, of how it 456 00:20:44,519 --> 00:20:45,099 appeared. 457 00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:46,619 Oh, it's so silly in hindsight. 458 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:47,019 Yeah. 459 00:20:47,019 --> 00:20:48,430 Because going through it. 460 00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:51,960 Bryan: Be it's interesting because you, you, we've have now 461 00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:56,259 been on the other end of that with church and with friends and 462 00:20:56,259 --> 00:20:59,589 family, where we've rallied around people in our church that 463 00:20:59,589 --> 00:21:00,430 have really needed help. 464 00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:03,240 And we've been on the end where we're going to someone's house 465 00:21:03,269 --> 00:21:06,190 and we're bringing them groceries or bringing them money 466 00:21:06,190 --> 00:21:06,920 or they're bringing them. 467 00:21:07,789 --> 00:21:10,869 We're on that end of it now, and when you're, now that we're 468 00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:15,490 there, we're looking at them like, not as, not What you're 469 00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:18,170 trying to get to is like how they must think that we're less 470 00:21:18,170 --> 00:21:20,799 than we're not we're actually like you just needed a Hand up. 471 00:21:21,069 --> 00:21:24,549 Yeah, and we've been there Yeah and so it you have to you have 472 00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,829 to get to the place where you have to eat your pride and and 473 00:21:26,829 --> 00:21:29,970 this is the Thing is that there's an incredible amount of 474 00:21:30,369 --> 00:21:33,829 pressure on families at Christmastime and it's not just 475 00:21:33,839 --> 00:21:37,119 it's not just marriages Not just because when you're married now, 476 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,029 you're going to you're having to buy gifts for family members 477 00:21:40,029 --> 00:21:44,414 that you don't know that as well right But I want to say this 478 00:21:44,434 --> 00:21:47,755 contrary to the pressure that that culture puts on us. 479 00:21:47,755 --> 00:21:50,545 You do not have to buy everything on your kid's 480 00:21:50,545 --> 00:21:51,305 Christmas list. 481 00:21:51,585 --> 00:21:52,005 Natalie: No. 482 00:21:52,065 --> 00:21:55,634 If you can, if you can purchase one thing, then purchase one 483 00:21:55,634 --> 00:21:55,805 thing. 484 00:21:55,825 --> 00:22:00,585 If you can't purchase anything, um, the thrift stores are great 485 00:22:01,164 --> 00:22:03,865 at finding, and we've done it at the thrift store. 486 00:22:03,904 --> 00:22:04,065 And 487 00:22:04,065 --> 00:22:05,805 Bryan: here's, here's, here's the thing is, is that 488 00:22:06,914 --> 00:22:08,654 disappointment never killed anyone. 489 00:22:10,285 --> 00:22:13,075 No, I know, I know this is hard for people to hear. 490 00:22:14,565 --> 00:22:17,454 And there's something that my pastor and I say all the time is 491 00:22:17,454 --> 00:22:19,924 that we have to learn how to do the hard things better. 492 00:22:20,664 --> 00:22:24,275 Being disappointed actually is a great lesson in disappointment. 493 00:22:24,285 --> 00:22:28,365 We've been disappointed many times in our life, as has 494 00:22:28,375 --> 00:22:30,375 probably anyone that's listening to this podcast. 495 00:22:30,394 --> 00:22:31,845 You have experienced disappointment. 496 00:22:32,335 --> 00:22:33,095 It is hard. 497 00:22:33,434 --> 00:22:35,984 It brings on lots of frustration, lots of emotion, 498 00:22:36,214 --> 00:22:36,894 lots of things. 499 00:22:36,894 --> 00:22:37,295 But. 500 00:22:37,585 --> 00:22:42,664 Toys are, hear me when I say this, gifts are just gifts. 501 00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:47,140 Toys are just toys that they're really the the they will 502 00:22:47,180 --> 00:22:50,970 remember you being together some of the best dates that Natalie 503 00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,109 and I have ever had even when we've had kids have been the 504 00:22:53,109 --> 00:22:55,700 ones we've had a little bit of money and the only thing we 505 00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:58,650 could do was go and get one ice or two ice cream cones for two 506 00:22:58,650 --> 00:22:59,049 bucks. 507 00:22:59,585 --> 00:23:01,855 at, at McDonald's and go for a drive. 508 00:23:02,105 --> 00:23:02,404 Exactly. 509 00:23:02,434 --> 00:23:04,625 The best, some of the best dates that we've had, the most 510 00:23:04,625 --> 00:23:07,085 conversation, the most connection, not the ones where I 511 00:23:07,085 --> 00:23:08,095 dropped 200. 512 00:23:08,115 --> 00:23:09,174 Like those are good dates. 513 00:23:09,174 --> 00:23:09,724 Don't get me wrong. 514 00:23:09,724 --> 00:23:11,325 Those are fun that you do once in a while. 515 00:23:11,555 --> 00:23:14,545 We do once every three years, but the ones where you're, 516 00:23:14,555 --> 00:23:17,115 you're dropping big money, those, you know, what matters is 517 00:23:17,115 --> 00:23:18,944 when you and your company that you're with. 518 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:19,200 Yeah. 519 00:23:19,390 --> 00:23:22,329 Your family remembers that you made Christmas the best that you 520 00:23:22,329 --> 00:23:22,970 possibly could. 521 00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:25,480 My kids aren't going to remember the fact that they may remember 522 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,109 if I mom a really great gift, but they're going to remember, 523 00:23:28,109 --> 00:23:32,259 Hey, dad cared enough about me to do his best at Christmastime 524 00:23:32,259 --> 00:23:34,950 with little to make sure that I was looked after. 525 00:23:35,069 --> 00:23:35,990 Natalie: Exactly. 526 00:23:36,009 --> 00:23:37,319 And you know, what did we do? 527 00:23:37,769 --> 00:23:38,539 We handmade 528 00:23:38,539 --> 00:23:38,900 Bryan: stuff. 529 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:39,230 Yeah. 530 00:23:39,569 --> 00:23:42,180 Well, when you say we, you mean you. 531 00:23:42,609 --> 00:23:43,529 Natalie: The kids and I, right. 532 00:23:43,539 --> 00:23:44,329 And like, I didn't. 533 00:23:44,454 --> 00:23:46,964 I didn't have the money to go to Michael's and I didn't have the 534 00:23:46,974 --> 00:23:49,305 money to go to Walmart for Christmas decor. 535 00:23:49,305 --> 00:23:51,755 So the kids and I made Christmas decor. 536 00:23:52,634 --> 00:23:58,275 And so looking for ways to ease, like a lot of times our boys had 537 00:23:58,454 --> 00:24:00,055 kind of a joint gift. 538 00:24:00,065 --> 00:24:00,454 Yeah, yeah. 539 00:24:00,454 --> 00:24:02,474 Because we couldn't afford to buy them separate ones, but we 540 00:24:02,474 --> 00:24:05,375 could afford to buy them one gift that they would, that they 541 00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:07,484 would enjoy playing with together, like a Hot Wheels 542 00:24:07,484 --> 00:24:08,964 Bryan: or something the hockey thing. 543 00:24:08,994 --> 00:24:09,305 Right. 544 00:24:09,335 --> 00:24:10,265 The hockey, we played that so 545 00:24:10,795 --> 00:24:11,214 Natalie: often. 546 00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:15,035 Lots of Christmas baking and like use that time of like, Hey, 547 00:24:15,035 --> 00:24:18,974 we might not be able to physically buy and fill a ton of 548 00:24:18,974 --> 00:24:21,255 presents underneath the tree, but what can we do? 549 00:24:21,255 --> 00:24:22,865 We can create memories with our kids. 550 00:24:22,865 --> 00:24:25,325 And even now when we ask our kids, Hey, what do you remember? 551 00:24:25,325 --> 00:24:28,085 Like, did you feel the lack? 552 00:24:28,085 --> 00:24:31,015 And they're like, no, like it was, you guys always made it 553 00:24:31,015 --> 00:24:31,494 fun. 554 00:24:32,214 --> 00:24:38,765 And so with what we had, we created a Christmas for our 555 00:24:38,765 --> 00:24:41,424 children, whether or not, and I handmade. 556 00:24:41,865 --> 00:24:43,265 Gifts as well, right? 557 00:24:43,265 --> 00:24:46,204 So like not only crafted, but also handmade. 558 00:24:46,204 --> 00:24:47,744 I made the kids sock monkeys. 559 00:24:48,095 --> 00:24:50,055 So those were awesome and not creepy. 560 00:24:50,684 --> 00:24:53,555 No, they weren't creepy, but something like, what do I have 561 00:24:53,595 --> 00:24:56,384 that, that they would really love and they still have their 562 00:24:56,384 --> 00:24:57,115 sock monkeys. 563 00:24:57,404 --> 00:25:02,964 So it's not about spending a ton of money and not because we 564 00:25:02,964 --> 00:25:08,474 couldn't, but what could we do with what we had and make it 565 00:25:08,484 --> 00:25:10,464 festive and make it fun. 566 00:25:10,474 --> 00:25:14,015 And so we always have done appetizers and the appetizers 567 00:25:14,015 --> 00:25:17,785 could be chicken nuggets and fries, like remember dino 568 00:25:17,785 --> 00:25:18,224 nuggets. 569 00:25:18,234 --> 00:25:18,704 Yes. 570 00:25:18,714 --> 00:25:18,755 And 571 00:25:19,005 --> 00:25:19,724 Bryan: it was just. 572 00:25:21,029 --> 00:25:26,849 But it's, it's going to be the, the atmosphere you create, not 573 00:25:26,849 --> 00:25:28,589 the gifts that you give, right? 574 00:25:28,589 --> 00:25:30,630 Like the gift, the gifts are a bonus in life. 575 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:31,210 They are. 576 00:25:31,769 --> 00:25:32,130 But 577 00:25:32,259 --> 00:25:33,829 Natalie: if you're in a position to be able to do that, 578 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,490 Bryan: then we, then we bless our kids and we always, and then 579 00:25:36,490 --> 00:25:37,109 we bless others. 580 00:25:37,109 --> 00:25:37,900 And that's always been the thing. 581 00:25:37,900 --> 00:25:41,099 But when, if you can't do that, if you're even you're early 582 00:25:41,099 --> 00:25:43,460 married or even you're married and you're just struggling, you 583 00:25:43,460 --> 00:25:44,089 got laid off. 584 00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:47,400 Like I know, we know of a family right now that got laid off the 585 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,220 week before December, and he won't go back to work until 586 00:25:50,250 --> 00:25:51,279 April potentially. 587 00:25:51,279 --> 00:25:51,579 Right. 588 00:25:52,265 --> 00:25:54,704 And so there, there's just, we know that this happens. 589 00:25:54,855 --> 00:25:55,855 Yeah, you were laid off. 590 00:25:55,934 --> 00:25:57,255 I was laid off for Christmas. 591 00:25:57,285 --> 00:25:57,734 No, that sucked. 592 00:25:57,944 --> 00:25:58,704 That was really hard. 593 00:25:58,704 --> 00:25:59,265 It was horrible. 594 00:25:59,305 --> 00:25:59,875 It was horrible. 595 00:25:59,904 --> 00:26:02,404 And we are waiting on, this was, this is funny. 596 00:26:02,404 --> 00:26:06,545 We were waiting on my EI to come in and then we get an email and 597 00:26:06,545 --> 00:26:09,525 tell us, Oh, it was like we've heard in the news. 598 00:26:09,525 --> 00:26:10,384 They ran out of money. 599 00:26:10,404 --> 00:26:11,234 So they had to wait. 600 00:26:11,474 --> 00:26:14,025 And so I ended up having to wait for an extra two and a half 601 00:26:14,025 --> 00:26:16,075 weeks for my, my EI to come in. 602 00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:18,484 And you're like, Lord, what are we supposed to do here? 603 00:26:18,940 --> 00:26:19,170 It 604 00:26:19,170 --> 00:26:21,670 Natalie: was, you know, I forgot about that. 605 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:22,640 What a dumb thing. 606 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,349 That that was where the government ran out of money. 607 00:26:25,349 --> 00:26:27,460 But that was what they had said 608 00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:27,910 Bryan: anyways. 609 00:26:28,069 --> 00:26:30,480 Maybe that was just like on something else entirely, but I 610 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:31,940 just remember the government ran out of money. 611 00:26:31,990 --> 00:26:32,420 It was 612 00:26:32,420 --> 00:26:32,829 Natalie: on that. 613 00:26:32,990 --> 00:26:33,289 Was it? 614 00:26:33,950 --> 00:26:34,740 On the EI. 615 00:26:35,019 --> 00:26:42,089 But you know, this is to say, it isn't about the cost of the 616 00:26:42,089 --> 00:26:44,220 presents that are under the tree. 617 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:44,609 Yeah. 618 00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:51,859 So I really want you to like hear that and to be like well, 619 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:57,069 you know if you're in a position of not wanting That's fantastic. 620 00:26:57,109 --> 00:26:58,460 Yeah Right? 621 00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:01,869 And, and I would never, you know, harp on someone for being 622 00:27:01,869 --> 00:27:03,079 able to provide for their family. 623 00:27:03,079 --> 00:27:06,259 We're speaking strictly out of a place of not being able to. 624 00:27:06,279 --> 00:27:07,430 And that there's In the way that 625 00:27:07,430 --> 00:27:08,180 Bryan: we want to. 626 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,920 And we want you to feel like there's other alternative ways 627 00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:12,920 to handle the pressure of the season. 628 00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:13,730 Yeah, and 629 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,914 Natalie: we just we always had food in the house and for them 630 00:27:17,914 --> 00:27:21,525 at least for them and you know like with the food hampers and 631 00:27:21,525 --> 00:27:25,134 whatever, they, they're really good about giving a turkey or a 632 00:27:25,134 --> 00:27:26,805 ham or stuff like that. 633 00:27:26,805 --> 00:27:26,974 Right. 634 00:27:26,974 --> 00:27:31,964 So we always had like a Christmas meal and stuff and and 635 00:27:31,964 --> 00:27:34,154 I did baking and so. 636 00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:37,210 And we always do like Christmas lights and stuff like that. 637 00:27:37,210 --> 00:27:41,799 So we, we do things that didn't cost money, but still was an 638 00:27:41,799 --> 00:27:42,990 experience for the kids. 639 00:27:43,039 --> 00:27:43,180 For 640 00:27:43,180 --> 00:27:43,480 Bryan: sure. 641 00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:46,589 I like, I just, I had this written down here. 642 00:27:46,589 --> 00:27:50,279 So to run a reminder of the simplicity and the value of 643 00:27:50,279 --> 00:27:55,339 presence over presence, presence with the C and presence with the 644 00:27:55,339 --> 00:27:58,460 T, that you being there for your kids as much as you possibly 645 00:27:58,460 --> 00:28:00,930 can, you being there for your family, you being there for your 646 00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:03,269 wife or you being there for your husband, that's more important 647 00:28:03,279 --> 00:28:04,240 than the gifts that you bring. 648 00:28:04,595 --> 00:28:05,214 A hundred percent. 649 00:28:05,315 --> 00:28:05,964 Absolutely. 650 00:28:06,275 --> 00:28:08,125 It, I want to hear, I'm going to put you on the spot. 651 00:28:08,164 --> 00:28:09,045 I know you love this. 652 00:28:09,045 --> 00:28:09,944 This is your favorite thing. 653 00:28:09,944 --> 00:28:16,075 What is a short 10, 15 second, maybe that's too short, 654 00:28:16,184 --> 00:28:19,154 encouraging word for parents that are, or for families, for 655 00:28:19,154 --> 00:28:22,275 couples, for families with children that are actually 656 00:28:22,275 --> 00:28:23,585 experiencing these challenges. 657 00:28:25,775 --> 00:28:27,134 Natalie: Reach out for help. 658 00:28:27,654 --> 00:28:27,914 Yeah. 659 00:28:28,204 --> 00:28:32,214 And if that means needing the assistance of a food bank, 660 00:28:32,654 --> 00:28:35,365 church, a church organization, charity. 661 00:28:35,474 --> 00:28:36,035 Yeah. 662 00:28:37,599 --> 00:28:39,319 Honestly, do it. 663 00:28:40,529 --> 00:28:42,160 That's what they're there for. 664 00:28:42,210 --> 00:28:45,950 And it's not a reflection of how good of a parent you are, how 665 00:28:45,950 --> 00:28:47,970 good or not good of a provider you are. 666 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:53,079 Here that is not a reflection of who you are as a person when you 667 00:28:53,079 --> 00:28:54,279 need those resources. 668 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,529 That is what they're there for. 669 00:28:56,980 --> 00:29:03,019 I am so grateful to have been the recipient of those, even 670 00:29:03,019 --> 00:29:06,369 though I had to work through some of the emotional, uh, stuff 671 00:29:06,369 --> 00:29:07,930 that I, I felt like it, it. 672 00:29:10,345 --> 00:29:10,684 Yeah. 673 00:29:10,924 --> 00:29:11,434 Absolutely. 674 00:29:11,474 --> 00:29:14,055 And so the stigma, that's the word. 675 00:29:14,105 --> 00:29:17,974 There's a stigma in my mind at that time of, you know, if you 676 00:29:17,974 --> 00:29:21,595 needed a food bank, then you know, you must not work and you 677 00:29:21,595 --> 00:29:22,384 must, right? 678 00:29:22,384 --> 00:29:23,325 Like there was just this. 679 00:29:23,555 --> 00:29:24,355 Exactly. 680 00:29:24,355 --> 00:29:26,846 And I was like, but I just don't want people to think. 681 00:29:27,335 --> 00:29:29,535 differently of me because I need a food bank. 682 00:29:29,545 --> 00:29:31,055 So there was an emotional. 683 00:29:31,605 --> 00:29:34,375 Emotional toll that it took and a processing of that. 684 00:29:35,134 --> 00:29:39,174 And I say I am so incredibly grateful for the friends and the 685 00:29:39,174 --> 00:29:43,204 family that had reached out and had been a blessing to us over 686 00:29:43,204 --> 00:29:43,765 the years. 687 00:29:44,214 --> 00:29:48,345 And the food banks and, you know, Canadian Wholesale. 688 00:29:48,355 --> 00:29:53,194 And if there are, um, not contests, but like, hey, we are, 689 00:29:53,664 --> 00:29:57,894 we're, Looking to bless a family this year and you know of 690 00:29:57,894 --> 00:30:02,154 someone take that step and Like, they didn't ask our permission, 691 00:30:02,154 --> 00:30:05,184 and we probably would have been mortified had they said, Hey, 692 00:30:05,184 --> 00:30:06,015 what are your thoughts on this? 693 00:30:06,015 --> 00:30:07,625 We'd have been absolutely not. 694 00:30:07,625 --> 00:30:08,335 You don't tell 695 00:30:08,345 --> 00:30:09,914 Bryan: anyone that we're even struggling. 696 00:30:10,005 --> 00:30:10,785 Don't ask for 697 00:30:10,785 --> 00:30:15,305 Natalie: permission and just be that like secret blessing behind 698 00:30:15,305 --> 00:30:15,575 Bryan: the scenes. 699 00:30:17,569 --> 00:30:20,339 That's, that's really like the bed. 700 00:30:20,339 --> 00:30:23,339 The best way to go through the season is with the help of 701 00:30:23,339 --> 00:30:25,700 friends and family and reach out 702 00:30:25,700 --> 00:30:27,950 Natalie: for help in this climate where everything is so 703 00:30:27,950 --> 00:30:30,180 expensive and inflation is through the roof. 704 00:30:30,690 --> 00:30:35,109 You know, if we have an extra turkey in the fridge, we are 705 00:30:35,230 --> 00:30:37,817 going to bless someone with it because we don't need two 706 00:30:37,817 --> 00:30:38,031 turkeys. 707 00:30:38,031 --> 00:30:39,317 So look at what you have. 708 00:30:39,317 --> 00:30:40,603 What can you be a blessing? 709 00:30:40,603 --> 00:30:41,460 Learn more at www. 710 00:30:41,460 --> 00:30:41,900 plastics car. 711 00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:46,315 com How can you be a blessing and look out for your neighbor? 712 00:30:46,375 --> 00:30:46,994 Bryan: Absolutely. 713 00:30:47,355 --> 00:30:49,515 So here's what I want all of you listeners to do. 714 00:30:50,555 --> 00:30:54,835 I want you to share your story, you can share it with us on any 715 00:30:54,835 --> 00:30:58,505 of our social, but I want you to share a little bit of your story 716 00:30:58,505 --> 00:31:00,845 about, and we're going to post some things this week, but share 717 00:31:00,845 --> 00:31:04,674 the story about tips that you have that actually helped you, 718 00:31:04,785 --> 00:31:06,704 maybe how you got through it. 719 00:31:06,714 --> 00:31:09,154 Maybe there's a mental health struggle that you went through 720 00:31:09,154 --> 00:31:10,795 that you could actually, that would help someone else. 721 00:31:11,275 --> 00:31:13,765 And there's a few ways that you can do it always at the end of 722 00:31:13,765 --> 00:31:14,375 these episodes. 723 00:31:14,484 --> 00:31:17,335 And we can, we always ask, Hey, if you like this, this is what I 724 00:31:17,335 --> 00:31:17,974 want you to do. 725 00:31:18,565 --> 00:31:19,174 Take that. 726 00:31:19,539 --> 00:31:20,500 Answer those questions. 727 00:31:20,500 --> 00:31:22,329 If you have something for us, email it to us. 728 00:31:22,329 --> 00:31:24,730 You can find us on Instagram or Facebook. 729 00:31:24,740 --> 00:31:26,079 You can email it at amplifiedmarriage. 730 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:26,599 gmail. 731 00:31:26,599 --> 00:31:29,420 com also on our website at amplifiedmarriage. 732 00:31:29,430 --> 00:31:31,779 ca on the bottom right hand corner. 733 00:31:31,799 --> 00:31:35,049 There's also a little voicemail and you can actually click on 734 00:31:35,049 --> 00:31:37,329 there and actually leave a voicemail through your computer 735 00:31:37,670 --> 00:31:39,779 and it'll actually come to us and then we can actually use 736 00:31:39,779 --> 00:31:40,190 that and. 737 00:31:40,589 --> 00:31:43,200 Potentially feature that on the podcast with a question or a 738 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,210 comment something that we can do But this is a really great 739 00:31:46,210 --> 00:31:46,779 opportunity. 740 00:31:46,779 --> 00:31:47,779 We want to hear from you. 741 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,609 We want to hear from you from the way that you've Worked 742 00:31:50,609 --> 00:31:53,359 through the budget budget restraints of christmas with 743 00:31:53,359 --> 00:31:56,210 through the mental health of christmas The struggle of those 744 00:31:56,210 --> 00:31:59,150 things we want to hear from you and all those things that That 745 00:31:59,150 --> 00:32:01,309 might be beneficial to others that are listening to this 746 00:32:01,329 --> 00:32:01,849 podcast. 747 00:32:01,849 --> 00:32:05,819 And again, if you like it This podcast, it means a tremendous 748 00:32:05,819 --> 00:32:08,440 amount to us when you share it and you let people know about 749 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:09,460 Amplified Marriage. 750 00:32:09,660 --> 00:32:13,542 You can, again, contact us, but also follow us on Instagram and 751 00:32:13,542 --> 00:32:13,817 Facebook. 752 00:32:13,817 --> 00:32:15,839 And you can meet, reach us through email at 753 00:32:15,839 --> 00:32:18,940 AmplifiedMarriage at dot, at gmail. 754 00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:19,359 com. 755 00:32:19,950 --> 00:32:23,769 And as you have heard us say many times, we believe that your 756 00:32:23,769 --> 00:32:26,869 marriage can be reset, refreshed, recharged, 757 00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:27,750 Natalie: and restored. 758 00:32:27,890 --> 00:32:28,650 Thanks for listening. 759 00:32:28,650 --> 00:32:29,484 Talk to you soon.