WEBVTT 00:00:00.989 --> 00:00:03.319 It's the start of a new year and you know what that means. 00:00:03.450 --> 00:00:05.259 New Year's resolutions. 00:00:05.815 --> 00:00:09.154 It's that time when we promise to turn into superheroes overnight. 00:00:09.605 --> 00:00:16.975 By February, our gym cards are just fancy bookmarks, and our health eating plans, well, less to say the chocolate didn't eat itself. 00:00:17.024 --> 00:00:23.885 But let's face it, if resolutions were that effective, I'd be a piano playing, novel writing, astronaut, and a fitness guru. 00:00:23.925 --> 00:00:27.815 Instead, I'm still figuring out which is the E chord on the piano. 00:00:28.559 --> 00:00:30.179 This year, let's do something a little bit different. 00:00:30.289 --> 00:00:33.149 Let's not set all these big, grand resolutions. 00:00:33.149 --> 00:00:39.100 Instead, let's focus on being our best selves, our best husbands, best wives, and with all of our quirks. 00:00:39.490 --> 00:00:46.700 After all, being married is about loving and growing old together, not about who can avoid the cookie jar the longest. 00:01:09.859 --> 00:01:12.250 Welcome to another episode of Amplified Marriage. 00:01:12.280 --> 00:01:12.920 I'm Natalie. 00:01:13.019 --> 00:01:13.650 And I'm Bryan. 00:01:13.670 --> 00:01:16.099 Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, as you heard us say. 00:01:16.510 --> 00:01:17.390 countless times. 00:01:17.420 --> 00:01:20.200 Grab a tea, grab a coffee, a cookie and a blanket. 00:01:20.609 --> 00:01:22.230 Get ready for our chat. 00:01:22.349 --> 00:01:26.090 And 1st of January, 2024. 00:01:26.250 --> 00:01:27.040 Boom. 00:01:27.079 --> 00:01:29.129 Are we ready for this new year? 00:01:29.159 --> 00:01:30.609 Yes, we are, man. 00:01:31.715 --> 00:01:45.204 I am excited to talk about this today, but here's the thing is that Natalie and I are not huge, uh, resolution people, even though the opening was all about grand resolutions, we're not resolution people were actually about setting goals. 00:01:45.204 --> 00:01:56.075 And I know people are like, well, what's the difference there actually is a difference between a resolution in my mind is oftentimes just a, um, a big idea. 00:01:56.775 --> 00:01:57.015 Right. 00:01:57.015 --> 00:01:58.055 It's just a big idea. 00:01:58.665 --> 00:02:05.314 And so when I look at goals this year, this is how Natalie and I have broken down this 2024. 00:02:05.314 --> 00:02:11.104 And it's something that we, every year we improve upon a little bit, but it's something that I even do with our, our team that I lead at, at the church. 00:02:12.034 --> 00:02:13.155 Um, it's called smart goals. 00:02:13.155 --> 00:02:18.354 And the very first thing about the smart goals is that it, the S stands for specific. 00:02:18.594 --> 00:02:18.895 Right. 00:02:18.895 --> 00:02:23.384 And when we're going into our goals, Natalie and I have specific, say weight loss goals. 00:02:23.389 --> 00:02:23.400 Mm-Hmm. 00:02:24.104 --> 00:02:25.754 specific finance goals. 00:02:25.754 --> 00:02:31.455 Speci specific, specific goals for the children, specific goals for each other. 00:02:31.875 --> 00:02:34.215 Um, all but they're all have to be specific. 00:02:34.215 --> 00:02:36.764 And that's the difference I think between a goal and a resolution. 00:02:36.764 --> 00:02:38.835 A resolution is just a, a big idea, right? 00:02:38.835 --> 00:02:41.564 I want to lose weight by June 20th. 00:02:41.564 --> 00:02:41.925 Exactly. 00:02:41.925 --> 00:02:44.504 But there's no strategy on how, but there's no strategy to do that, how to do that. 00:02:44.504 --> 00:02:45.284 And there's no. 00:02:45.485 --> 00:02:46.444 There's no way you can do it. 00:02:46.444 --> 00:02:48.014 So we just want to, we want to talk to you today. 00:02:48.014 --> 00:02:53.685 Just a little bit of the things that we've learned that we've done over the last 25 years of being together 00:02:53.794 --> 00:02:56.935 and what we've really implemented in the last nine ish 00:02:56.955 --> 00:02:57.324 years. 00:02:57.474 --> 00:03:11.115 And, and we'll be honest right from the beginning, the truth about goals is that even what I said in the opening, if goals were easy and it was easy to achieve a resolution, but if our goals were easy to do. 00:03:11.530 --> 00:03:13.729 Um, everyone will be doing them exactly. 00:03:13.740 --> 00:03:16.780 And so there's a reason that you have to have a system. 00:03:16.780 --> 00:03:22.110 The things you put in place, um, like parameter, uh, parameters and boundaries for each goal. 00:03:22.509 --> 00:03:26.199 And one of the things that I haven't written down further down, but I'm actually going to read it right now. 00:03:26.199 --> 00:03:30.000 This is what Habakkuk, uh, chapter two versus two and three says, is right, right. 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:30.439 The vision. 00:03:31.139 --> 00:03:34.960 Make it plain on tablets so he may run who reads it. 00:03:35.590 --> 00:03:41.629 All this means is that when you have a vision and a goal, Natalie and I have started putting our goals down regularly onto paper. 00:03:41.629 --> 00:03:42.759 So we have them written out. 00:03:43.120 --> 00:03:44.740 Sometimes we forget where we put the paper. 00:03:44.740 --> 00:03:47.789 So now we do digitally because we're in 2024. 00:03:47.810 --> 00:03:49.960 Ooh, we're in 2024. 00:03:50.664 --> 00:03:50.685 Yeah. 00:03:50.775 --> 00:03:51.085 Right. 00:03:51.094 --> 00:03:55.705 But we want to have specific things that we want to do with our family this year. 00:03:55.705 --> 00:04:00.324 What we want to accomplish personally and all has to be specific and then written down on the system. 00:04:00.365 --> 00:04:00.745 That's right. 00:04:00.745 --> 00:04:08.675 Because I don't know about you, but I forget, well, yeah, I forget things that I have written and writing them on paper gives you a reference point. 00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:13.500 Um, for those times when you're like, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this. 00:04:13.550 --> 00:04:15.379 And then you can reflect back on it. 00:04:15.389 --> 00:04:16.269 Or that's the hope. 00:04:16.269 --> 00:04:32.110 Anyways, we're not always perfect at reflecting back until the end of the year, but I'm really trying to get into the habit of doing that self reflection, that goal reflection, even throughout the year of like, where are, how on track are we? 00:04:32.324 --> 00:04:36.855 And not just waiting till the end of the year to reflect on whether or not we were or weren't on track. 00:04:37.254 --> 00:04:45.004 Well, and, and I would say to like, um, I say this to people when they first start going to the gym, because I, at this point I built a fairly good discipline. 00:04:45.004 --> 00:04:49.035 I go frequently on a, on a schedule that we've determined. 00:04:50.295 --> 00:04:57.365 And I say this to new people, as soon as they start, I said, um, it's, it's not about the frequency. 00:04:57.375 --> 00:04:58.545 It's about the consistency. 00:04:58.555 --> 00:04:58.745 Yeah. 00:04:58.964 --> 00:05:06.295 So I will tell you straight up that I would say 95 percent of the time that I go to the gym and I do a 35, 45 minute workout. 00:05:07.035 --> 00:05:07.964 I honestly. 00:05:08.430 --> 00:05:14.379 Most of the time I'm not motivated and I don't really feel like going to the gym. 00:05:14.389 --> 00:05:17.600 Like after Christmas, we're going, we're going, we're going after this podcast. 00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:19.769 As soon as we finished recording this, we're heading over to the gym. 00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:26.519 I don't really want to go now, but the thing is, is that when you begin putting things into a system. 00:05:26.995 --> 00:05:28.435 And so this is specific. 00:05:28.444 --> 00:05:30.074 You start writing out what you want to do. 00:05:30.324 --> 00:05:32.634 You turn that motivation into a discipline. 00:05:32.634 --> 00:05:36.415 So what happens is, is that the discipline becomes part of what you do. 00:05:36.435 --> 00:05:36.845 That's right. 00:05:36.954 --> 00:05:43.144 Part of what you do every day, part of your morning or part of your afternoon, wherever you choose to add the discipline that that's about. 00:05:43.144 --> 00:05:48.154 I'm using the gym as well, working out as an example because I've had to fight with this one for a long time. 00:05:48.214 --> 00:05:48.514 Right. 00:05:48.675 --> 00:05:50.324 But it becomes easier. 00:05:50.384 --> 00:05:52.149 It becomes, it becomes easy. 00:05:52.610 --> 00:05:54.230 Easier to go and do it. 00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:54.920 That's what I mean. 00:05:55.449 --> 00:05:58.439 Because you're disciplined, but the motivation, this is the thing. 00:05:58.459 --> 00:06:00.829 Are we always going to be motivated for anything? 00:06:00.850 --> 00:06:01.170 No. 00:06:01.490 --> 00:06:01.889 Right. 00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:08.980 If you have kids in your house from zero to 25 years old and they're living with you, you're not motivated every night to make dinner. 00:06:09.459 --> 00:06:09.839 Nope. 00:06:10.009 --> 00:06:10.300 Right. 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:14.430 And there's, and you're not motivated every day to do laundry or every day that you have to do. 00:06:14.639 --> 00:06:22.500 So the motivation, if you base your whole future, if you base 2024 off the motivation to do it, your motivation is going to fail. 00:06:22.540 --> 00:06:23.019 That's right. 00:06:23.579 --> 00:06:32.040 But I think, I think creating habits and making them like, you know, in, in principles and things like that, we're all like baby steps, baby steps. 00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:40.569 If you have a giant goal, you have to have baby steps in order to get there because the moment that you. 00:06:41.990 --> 00:06:48.670 Miss fire or you, um, try to jump ahead and you fall. 00:06:49.600 --> 00:06:52.350 Figuratively speaking, you're going to get discouraged. 00:06:52.949 --> 00:07:03.720 And so yes, you know, um, being on a routine, I think that's the key is setting a routine that is manageable in small increments. 00:07:03.730 --> 00:07:14.620 And then as you, as you can fulfill the routine or fulfill the habit, then you can increase the frequency and you can increase all of that once it becomes ingrained, so to speak. 00:07:14.620 --> 00:07:17.449 So for us, like you're, even though. 00:07:17.845 --> 00:07:19.524 I hate going to the gym. 00:07:20.154 --> 00:07:22.625 It does not bring me joy whatsoever. 00:07:22.725 --> 00:07:26.725 I always feel the joy of having gone after the fact. 00:07:27.365 --> 00:07:32.235 So if I can remember that after this, I will be so thankful that I went. 00:07:32.365 --> 00:07:39.634 And then as I start to see like the pounds drop off or the ounces drop off or I start to feel just better where I'm not so. 00:07:41.019 --> 00:07:41.519 tired. 00:07:41.550 --> 00:07:49.930 I find myself making better eating choices and, and all like it's a, it's a domino effect in either direction. 00:07:50.029 --> 00:07:50.139 You 00:07:50.139 --> 00:07:55.699 know, there's a, a writer that I have read his book now twice called atomic habits by James clear. 00:07:55.699 --> 00:08:02.819 And he says something in the book that has stuck with me that I use with our team that I probably have said on this podcast before he said, you don't. 00:08:03.444 --> 00:08:05.314 Uh, rise to the level of your goals. 00:08:05.314 --> 00:08:08.545 You fall to the level of your systems, right? 00:08:08.564 --> 00:08:16.995 And so much of what we do is a series of small steps, small decisions, small things that take us to the lead. 00:08:16.995 --> 00:08:25.884 Like when you're, you're doing like Bible study or you're doing school study, you're setting yourself with knowledge that will benefit you five years after school is finished. 00:08:25.884 --> 00:08:26.824 When you finally found that job. 00:08:27.139 --> 00:08:29.610 And actually implement the things that you've learned, right? 00:08:29.620 --> 00:08:43.909 The physical aspect of your job or eating differently and getting the sugar out of your system if that's what you're doing or stopping caffeine or quitting smoking or what any one of these things, all of them take steps and things with a goal in mind, but also with a system and how we're going to get there. 00:08:43.909 --> 00:08:44.409 I remember. 00:08:44.794 --> 00:08:55.664 Uh, listening to a podcast, um, I can't remember the name of the podcast, but he, he, he said in there, he said, there's a gentleman that he was coaching, um, new year hit. 00:08:55.705 --> 00:08:57.065 And he's like, I need to lose some weight. 00:08:57.065 --> 00:08:58.355 I'm 150 pounds overweight. 00:08:58.355 --> 00:08:58.955 He was a big guy. 00:09:00.014 --> 00:09:17.184 And the guy said, I didn't know how I was going to do this, but what he started doing every day is that he got in his car and he drove to the gym and he said, and he said, remember I told you this, he sat outside for five minutes and then he went home and he did that day after day for like two weeks. 00:09:17.595 --> 00:09:21.365 And then he started going to the gym, um, the, the next week a little bit longer. 00:09:21.365 --> 00:09:22.184 So it was 10 minutes. 00:09:22.504 --> 00:09:23.845 He did that for a couple more weeks. 00:09:23.904 --> 00:09:31.184 And then after that for four weeks later, he started going into the gym, stepping into the front door, sitting on the bench, talking with the person at the front. 00:09:31.465 --> 00:09:33.115 And then he would go in his car and he would drive home. 00:09:33.414 --> 00:09:36.365 And I think I can't remember the exact length of time, but it took like. 00:09:36.735 --> 00:09:41.674 Six weeks or eight weeks before he stepped and stayed into the gym and then he got onto the treadmill, right? 00:09:41.735 --> 00:09:59.534 And then it was like six or eight months later He had lost like 20 pounds or 15 pounds of weight and he was going towards his goals because he did everything in small incremental steps To get to where you want to go celebrating the wins along the way celebrating the highs and then taking the lows What can you learn from it and moving on? 00:09:59.980 --> 00:10:11.259 So I think that's a great segue into here are some of the things that we implement and we have done and we just did today actually, uh, which hopefully will be sort of like. 00:10:11.315 --> 00:10:21.695 Uh, small baby steps that if you are starting from square one or if, if what you've currently been doing isn't working, perhaps this method, uh, might be useful. 00:10:22.394 --> 00:10:32.424 So my mom about, Oh, nine years ago, nine years ago, started doing something with me and her, or sorry, me and Natalie, my brother. 00:10:32.605 --> 00:10:47.085 And sister in law, or wow, I'm screwing this up, my brother in law and my sister, uh, Katie and Jeremy and Natalie and I, and my mom would sit down and we would write down, um, the highs and lows of the year that we were in and then the goals for the next year. 00:10:47.284 --> 00:10:57.625 And so for the last nine years, the day after we've rarely missed that the day after new year, January 1st, January 1st, we get together and we discuss the highs and lows of the last year. 00:10:58.034 --> 00:10:59.605 Um, and then we. 00:10:59.825 --> 00:11:03.965 We talked to each other about the goals that we have set for this, this next year coming up. 00:11:03.995 --> 00:11:04.205 Yeah. 00:11:04.445 --> 00:11:12.745 And we share, we share with each other because there have been years that have been really good and we've, we've shared in the joy of that year. 00:11:12.764 --> 00:11:16.014 And there have been other years that have been absolute crap. 00:11:16.595 --> 00:11:27.669 And Um, feeling incredibly low and discouraged and just vocalizing the discontent feeling and whatnot. 00:11:27.700 --> 00:11:34.539 They have been such a, um, a voice of encouragement or, or another perspective to speak into. 00:11:34.539 --> 00:11:37.440 It has been so valuable to me. 00:11:37.809 --> 00:11:44.000 Well, and, and I think even today, even with some of the notes that we have for today is that where, where, where are your main focuses? 00:11:44.289 --> 00:11:47.450 And I think when we, it's easy, like any other goal. 00:11:47.950 --> 00:11:53.110 Um, that when you are in the middle of life to get wrapped up into and forget what the main focus is. 00:11:53.110 --> 00:11:58.279 And I think even today kind of reset us and it showed us where our main focuses was for last year. 00:11:58.279 --> 00:11:59.519 And we were happy with most of them. 00:12:00.059 --> 00:12:08.379 Um, but there's a, some that we're going to do is do a realignment and change their perspective and we're going to shift where we want to go, um, with the family, with the kids. 00:12:08.379 --> 00:12:09.279 Where's our next trip? 00:12:09.289 --> 00:12:10.899 Where's the next goal spiritually? 00:12:10.899 --> 00:12:11.690 Where do we want the kids? 00:12:11.690 --> 00:12:12.269 That kind of thing. 00:12:12.389 --> 00:12:12.929 You know what I mean? 00:12:12.940 --> 00:12:13.309 And like when you're 00:12:13.309 --> 00:12:14.929 talking about the highs of the year. 00:12:14.940 --> 00:12:14.960 Yeah. 00:12:15.365 --> 00:12:17.355 People might be like, what are you even talking about? 00:12:17.394 --> 00:12:21.335 But like, what are the things that were awesome? 00:12:21.345 --> 00:12:27.455 What, what of your children's accomplishments, um, were you celebrating? 00:12:27.465 --> 00:12:28.345 That's a high. 00:12:28.804 --> 00:12:34.195 Um, some of the goals that you had set for the previous year, looking back, okay, yes, I was able to do that. 00:12:34.205 --> 00:12:36.804 Like I balanced my, my budget. 00:12:36.845 --> 00:12:38.125 Like that was huge. 00:12:38.215 --> 00:12:39.445 That's a win, right? 00:12:39.475 --> 00:12:40.075 That's a high. 00:12:40.075 --> 00:12:44.034 What are, what are your things that you set out for yourself? 00:12:44.754 --> 00:12:50.184 Um, in self reflecting that were incredible, right? 00:12:50.215 --> 00:12:54.184 Like what in your marriage, Hey, I want to be a better communicator. 00:12:54.610 --> 00:12:54.750 Yeah. 00:12:54.750 --> 00:12:58.649 Well, like it's one of the goals that we had last year was we wanted to date more. 00:12:59.149 --> 00:12:59.179 Yes. 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:04.340 One of the goals, I think we both put it on separately and then we discussed it after like we want to, we want to have more dates. 00:13:04.710 --> 00:13:20.909 And so we have learned that the kids are at this age where they can either stay at home or when they're out doing things, Nat and I will just go literally for an hour, go have an ice cream from McDonald's or we'll go for a coffee and we'll sit in a Starbucks or Tim Hortons and we'll just chat for an hour, hour and a half and then, and then go home. 00:13:21.220 --> 00:13:22.659 But to have more of those dates. 00:13:23.245 --> 00:13:24.225 It actually makes a difference. 00:13:24.235 --> 00:13:27.085 And so we looked at that this year and we're like, Oh man, we actually did that. 00:13:27.095 --> 00:13:31.235 That was something we fought for, for the whole year and it was a, it was a win. 00:13:31.325 --> 00:13:31.544 And 00:13:31.544 --> 00:13:33.394 now it's a goal for next year. 00:13:34.184 --> 00:13:46.325 And it's really exciting that we piggyback off of what, what worked this year and we then can, um, Together, work towards making that more often, more 00:13:46.335 --> 00:14:04.215 frequent and more part of our, of our core values as a husband and wife that we want to like, here's the thing, our kids are getting to the age now, I won't say too much because Natalie might start crying, which has happened in the last few weeks, but our kids are getting at the age where within the next 10, eight years, seven to six to eight years, probably all of the kids will be out of the house. 00:14:05.144 --> 00:14:05.945 Our goal. 00:14:06.184 --> 00:14:10.945 And all of this is so that when the kids are gone, that I still love her and she still loves me. 00:14:11.024 --> 00:14:11.375 Exactly. 00:14:11.394 --> 00:14:14.845 She still knows me and I still know her so many times. 00:14:15.195 --> 00:14:18.164 Maybe this is you if you're listening, whatever country you're listening from. 00:14:18.565 --> 00:14:23.125 Maybe this is you, but you are so focused on your kids that you don't remember who your spouse was. 00:14:23.205 --> 00:14:23.524 Yeah. 00:14:23.625 --> 00:14:25.294 And that is, is actually sad. 00:14:25.914 --> 00:14:28.284 It's sad because you get to the age where all of a sudden. 00:14:28.695 --> 00:14:36.875 Now that the kids are out of the house, you don't know each other and then you actually start fighting and then divorces happen because now your whole focus is on your kids. 00:14:36.875 --> 00:14:43.174 Can I tell you a simple, simple truth that our culture would have you deny is that your kids are not your whole world. 00:14:44.934 --> 00:14:45.745 Mic drop. 00:14:46.054 --> 00:14:47.174 I wish I would've had the. 00:14:47.269 --> 00:14:47.500 thing though. 00:14:48.350 --> 00:14:48.960 Exactly. 00:14:48.970 --> 00:14:52.360 But Hey, we set that standard, um, because you know what? 00:14:52.360 --> 00:14:52.919 Let's face it. 00:14:52.929 --> 00:14:57.659 My husband was here before my children were, my husband needs to remain a priority in my 00:14:57.659 --> 00:14:57.970 life. 00:14:57.970 --> 00:15:06.909 And so in all of these things that we're saying on the highs and talking about the, the thing about, we didn't talk about the lows was the lows actually help you determine it. 00:15:06.929 --> 00:15:11.179 Was it, and here's the thing I preached yesterday at church or this last Sunday. 00:15:11.865 --> 00:15:24.735 And I said, there's two things that you, you see in scripture when the Bible talks in Matthew about being, uh, those of you who are burdened and heavy laden are, there's what happens is that there's one you put on yourself. 00:15:24.845 --> 00:15:29.884 Like these are burdens that you put on yourself and then the heavy laden is people that things that other people put on you. 00:15:30.544 --> 00:15:31.924 And so in our relationship. 00:15:32.269 --> 00:15:34.440 What is the pressure that you're putting on yourself? 00:15:34.610 --> 00:15:38.629 And I would say that needs to go against is, um, is that a realistic pressure? 00:15:38.990 --> 00:15:40.490 Is that an abnormal pressure? 00:15:40.509 --> 00:15:41.950 Is it something you can even reach? 00:15:41.960 --> 00:15:43.370 Is it a standard that you can meet? 00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:47.230 And then you look at your lows through the lens of, Hey, I can accomplish this. 00:15:47.240 --> 00:15:50.240 This year was tough and we came close, but it was a mess. 00:15:50.549 --> 00:15:52.690 But how can we make that better going into the next year? 00:15:52.750 --> 00:15:53.429 Exactly. 00:15:53.490 --> 00:16:04.330 And like what, here's the thing of being able to do a spiritual audit and doing a spiritual reflection of like, where. 00:16:04.524 --> 00:16:09.904 Has my walk with the Lord, where has that been on a scale of one to 10 for me this past year? 00:16:10.695 --> 00:16:12.335 Um, is that a priority for me? 00:16:12.424 --> 00:16:13.174 Absolutely. 00:16:13.554 --> 00:16:14.764 What, what do I want? 00:16:15.315 --> 00:16:19.524 Um, for, for that element of it, do I want to be doing more devotions? 00:16:19.534 --> 00:16:23.034 Do I want to be more intentional during my prayer time? 00:16:23.034 --> 00:16:25.815 Do I want to be more intentional in reading the Bible? 00:16:25.985 --> 00:16:26.815 Whatever it might be. 00:16:27.254 --> 00:16:33.625 That also plays a thing because listen, for me, a huge gauge of my emotional. 00:16:34.350 --> 00:16:40.919 And, um, physical wellbeing, if I find myself super snappy and whatever, it's one of two things. 00:16:40.919 --> 00:16:46.065 One, I need to connect with my husband or you're hungry while, or maybe three things, but. 00:16:46.674 --> 00:16:53.595 I can definitely tell when I've made the Lord a priority and when I have sort of had other things come in the way. 00:16:53.595 --> 00:17:04.394 So doing a spiritual audit is also incredibly important as far as it being a low, but that's not a bad, like having a low doesn't mean that you're failing. 00:17:04.664 --> 00:17:05.115 No, 00:17:05.595 --> 00:17:05.924 no. 00:17:05.924 --> 00:17:06.815 And I think sometimes like 00:17:06.845 --> 00:17:19.634 things happen and death happens in family or the death of a friendship or, or, um, a tragedy of some sort or, you know, uh, An unmet expectation can be a low, right? 00:17:19.674 --> 00:17:23.394 So I think it's a really good indicator for me. 00:17:23.815 --> 00:17:26.755 Where is my emotional level at? 00:17:26.755 --> 00:17:28.644 Where's my mental health at? 00:17:28.664 --> 00:17:32.474 Where's my, um, where's my heart? 00:17:32.545 --> 00:17:33.125 Right. 00:17:33.825 --> 00:17:34.505 Absolutely. 00:17:34.654 --> 00:17:40.059 And I think, um, Even our next application was a goal setting, not resolutions. 00:17:40.059 --> 00:17:47.640 And I think we kind of, we've covered that all the way through is that we are more about setting the goals with steps to reach those goals. 00:17:48.019 --> 00:18:01.799 So you, and have it written down and work on it as a couple and know each other and help each other be accountable to each other to make it, make it work, um, to, to build yourself up into a place where you're disciplined to be able to move, move forward. 00:18:01.954 --> 00:18:03.505 And whatever your goals are, exactly. 00:18:03.535 --> 00:18:11.325 And yes, you have, we have goals as a couple, but when we do this whole new year's thing with our family, it is a very individual basis. 00:18:11.625 --> 00:18:11.924 Right. 00:18:11.944 --> 00:18:16.605 And so we're all writing in our own, we have books that we write in. 00:18:16.914 --> 00:18:18.325 So we're all doing that. 00:18:19.490 --> 00:18:19.509 Yeah. 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:20.160 Individually. 00:18:20.180 --> 00:18:20.420 Yeah. 00:18:20.789 --> 00:18:21.069 Right. 00:18:21.099 --> 00:18:30.380 And what we choose to bring out into the open to discuss is up to us, but, um, I mean, for the most part we're pretty open, right? 00:18:30.430 --> 00:18:35.319 So the things that are on my goal list, you know, oftentimes line up with the things on your goal list. 00:18:35.470 --> 00:18:35.789 Yeah. 00:18:35.910 --> 00:18:36.170 Right. 00:18:36.170 --> 00:18:37.910 And we've not prediscussed this or whatever. 00:18:37.960 --> 00:18:38.180 I have 00:18:38.180 --> 00:18:40.980 some other ones like riding motorcycle and that's not on yours. 00:18:40.980 --> 00:18:41.480 That's not on 00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:41.670 mine. 00:18:41.980 --> 00:18:42.279 Right. 00:18:42.289 --> 00:18:47.289 But I think, you know, now that we have a goal, what is this, what are some of the strategies that we can do? 00:18:47.289 --> 00:18:55.839 And, and right there, I just said, writing it down in a book, in a journal, um, having something to reference when, and go back to it regularly. 00:18:55.849 --> 00:18:56.769 Exactly. 00:18:56.769 --> 00:19:01.900 Like our, my mom in law keeps all of our books, um, and she lives downstairs. 00:19:01.900 --> 00:19:04.420 So I mean, I could just go, mom, can I have my book? 00:19:04.450 --> 00:19:05.200 I really need. 00:19:05.529 --> 00:19:06.250 A reset. 00:19:06.869 --> 00:19:07.200 Can we? 00:19:07.210 --> 00:19:07.440 Yeah. 00:19:07.539 --> 00:19:07.930 Right. 00:19:07.960 --> 00:19:09.930 And any one of us could, right? 00:19:09.930 --> 00:19:10.559 Just mum holds on. 00:19:10.569 --> 00:19:10.700 We 00:19:10.700 --> 00:19:11.470 have it written down. 00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:14.190 The ones that we want to keep on our, our, we have a list. 00:19:14.200 --> 00:19:16.190 Otherwise, these are the goals that we're going for. 00:19:16.500 --> 00:19:23.079 This is the stuff that we're doing there, there, and this is the thing, like even when you're looking at any one of these things. 00:19:23.819 --> 00:19:32.279 It's really hard to, to maintain, not some people can do it, but it's hard to maintain the discipline of the goal on your own. 00:19:32.410 --> 00:19:33.259 Exactly. 00:19:33.299 --> 00:19:40.930 So it's so important that you actually engage your, your spouse or a really close friend or someone who's going to push you. 00:19:41.569 --> 00:20:03.775 Like it's a one say one of you goes to the gym, but the other one doesn't yeah, right Then you find someone who is gonna challenge you and say hey This is where you got to go say like I have I have a series of men in my life that challenged me in Just in life Yeah right that they look at the things I'm doing or saying or how I'm moving or the things that I'm teaching and just be like Bryan, you can't say that, or that was really good. 00:20:03.775 --> 00:20:05.545 Or what did you mean by this or challenge? 00:20:05.585 --> 00:20:06.515 No, that's not right. 00:20:06.944 --> 00:20:08.295 You have to have those people in your life. 00:20:08.295 --> 00:20:10.095 You can't just have a bunch of yes people around you. 00:20:10.115 --> 00:20:10.545 No. 00:20:10.605 --> 00:20:10.934 And 00:20:10.934 --> 00:20:18.755 like for me, my sister in law, like she was so great, uh, lean like over this Christmas season of like really maintaining a gym schedule. 00:20:18.755 --> 00:20:29.914 And I was not, but I was like, ah, gosh, I should, I should get on this because not that it's, and it's not a competition because we all have the same goal of being right. 00:20:30.180 --> 00:20:30.210 Right. 00:20:30.220 --> 00:20:35.230 Like the best selves for moving forward physically, right? 00:20:35.259 --> 00:20:39.609 Because if we're, if I'm healthy physically, my emotional health benefits from it. 00:20:39.849 --> 00:20:42.160 My mental health benefits from it. 00:20:42.170 --> 00:20:43.670 My spiritual health benefits from it. 00:20:43.700 --> 00:20:46.869 So I'm of like motivating, right? 00:20:47.339 --> 00:20:47.569 Right. 00:20:47.569 --> 00:20:57.349 Where she's like, you know, if it wasn't for her, we would not have done the ninja parkour a course that we did and we paid for it, but it was like quality time that we could invest with 00:20:57.349 --> 00:20:57.599 our kids. 00:20:57.609 --> 00:21:11.210 When Natalie says we paid for it, not only do we pay for it with finances, which it was just a small fee, but we paid for it physically for several days afterwards because I am not a young and or speedy or agile like I used to 00:21:11.210 --> 00:21:11.410 be. 00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:12.099 Exactly. 00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:12.980 So like. 00:21:13.194 --> 00:21:22.845 Encouraging each other, like come on, we are on, we might be in different lanes as far as our physical health goes, but motivating each other to keep going. 00:21:22.894 --> 00:21:31.579 And I would say, um, don't reflect just once a year on Christmas Eve like we do, we reflect Regularly throughout the year. 00:21:31.579 --> 00:21:32.569 And we have just, we 00:21:32.569 --> 00:21:33.480 have like weekly 00:21:34.210 --> 00:21:39.289 debriefs where we just sit and we'll chat about the week and when things are going and work the calendars out and things like that. 00:21:39.789 --> 00:21:42.509 And it's, these are just some of the things that we do. 00:21:42.509 --> 00:21:45.000 We hope that it all makes, makes sense. 00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:52.589 We also didn't want to be so broad that it didn't make, it didn't land, but also there's just so many. 00:21:53.190 --> 00:21:55.390 The thing is, is that this is a new year. 00:21:55.390 --> 00:22:01.670 You're going to start seeing content from every influencer on the planet coming up with a, here's your five step strategy in order to lose weight. 00:22:01.670 --> 00:22:04.890 Here's your final, the seven steps to financial freedom. 00:22:04.890 --> 00:22:11.480 Here's the, the eight steps you need for pride, for the best mental health, like all of these things, you're going to start getting bombarded by these things. 00:22:12.039 --> 00:22:13.519 And we. 00:22:14.184 --> 00:22:20.934 Because we're, we're believers, these things are based in scripture, like that scripture, right? 00:22:20.934 --> 00:22:22.144 These things make them plain, right? 00:22:22.144 --> 00:22:22.704 I'm on tablets. 00:22:22.704 --> 00:22:23.345 Make it plain. 00:22:23.505 --> 00:22:23.934 Simple. 00:22:24.005 --> 00:22:24.714 It's simple. 00:22:24.924 --> 00:22:25.994 Doesn't mean it's easy. 00:22:26.005 --> 00:22:27.085 It just means it's simple. 00:22:27.234 --> 00:22:31.075 And the, the, this is the, the system you make doesn't need to be so complex. 00:22:31.144 --> 00:22:31.575 No. 00:22:31.605 --> 00:22:36.154 And I think my final thought would be making sure that you find some community. 00:22:36.765 --> 00:22:37.025 Right. 00:22:37.065 --> 00:22:48.944 So whether that's a church group, uh, you know, putting your kids in youth group or some kind of, um, after school program or whatnot where they, um, can learn and grow. 00:22:49.095 --> 00:22:49.734 Absolutely. 00:22:49.835 --> 00:22:52.255 Um, we weren't meant to do life alone. 00:22:52.714 --> 00:22:58.454 And so oftentimes if we're struggling, uh, we have a community and I don't know what we could do without it. 00:22:58.605 --> 00:22:58.934 Right. 00:22:59.265 --> 00:23:12.914 I don't know where we would be, our kids would be if we didn't have our church community around us, our friends and our family, the, the, the friends that had become family because of, of the relationships that we've built through the church over these last many years. 00:23:12.914 --> 00:23:13.375 And so. 00:23:13.765 --> 00:23:16.424 There's so many different options where you can find community. 00:23:16.424 --> 00:23:20.075 I know sometimes it's really tough, especially if you're a bit more introverted, but there's people out there. 00:23:20.075 --> 00:23:22.974 There's good churches wherever you're listening to find a good church. 00:23:23.355 --> 00:23:29.305 We can't, I can't honestly, it's one of those things I can't talk about church enough because I think it's so incredibly valuable. 00:23:29.755 --> 00:23:30.250 And 00:23:30.250 --> 00:23:31.242 it's such 00:23:31.242 --> 00:23:39.055 an important part of our life, but also of, of the development and spiritual growth and mental health and just being around people. 00:23:39.075 --> 00:23:47.265 So there's one thing I wanted to ask all of you that are listening to this, um, we know that you live in the podcast cause you keep listening to it, but if you have a. 00:23:47.690 --> 00:23:59.289 Tip or a trick or a hack or a something that you want to share specifically about keeping track of your progress or how do you discipline yourself to, to, to grow? 00:23:59.319 --> 00:24:00.740 How do you discipline yourself for the 20? 00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:01.859 We want to hear about it. 00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:03.079 So send us an email. 00:24:03.079 --> 00:24:06.930 If you like this podcast, just share it with all of your friends, all of your family. 00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:09.140 Facebook. 00:24:09.180 --> 00:24:10.579 That's where you can let us know. 00:24:10.809 --> 00:24:12.509 You can also email if you have. 00:24:12.595 --> 00:24:17.134 Any of those things you want to share with us at amplified marriage at gmail. 00:24:17.134 --> 00:24:17.535 com. 00:24:17.535 --> 00:24:24.184 And as you hear us say every single time, we believe that your marriage can be reset, refreshed, recharged, and restored. 00:24:24.194 --> 00:24:25.285 Thank you so much for listening. 00:24:25.295 --> 00:24:26.260 Talk to you soon.