Believe Like A Boss
Learn how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual (energetic) alignment and intentional action. Join each week as Life Coach Nandi (rhymes with Gandhi) teaches you how to create what she calls "a life of thrive" with ease and authenticity. | NandiCamille.com
Believe Like A Boss
Financial Mindset and Parental Influence: Unpacking Your Money Habits
Ever wondered how much your financial mindset is shaped by your upbringing?
This week on "Believe Like a Boss," we unpack the complex relationship between our financial habits and the lessons we absorbed from our parents. I share personal stories about the influence of my mother’s frugality and my father’s high-earning expectations, and we dive into the nuanced energy and attitudes surrounding money in our households. We’ll help you discern which financial teachings to embrace and which to challenge, paving the way for a healthier relationship with money.
We’re also thrilled to introduce the Accountability Club, launching on October 8th. Designed for women aiming to smash their goals, this community-driven initiative offers a blend of lecture-style coaching, collaborative support, and one-on-one sessions. Whether you're looking to lose weight, start a business, or develop new habits, the Accountability Club provides the structure and community to keep you on track. With eight sessions running through January, we’re mindful of holiday distractions and committed to making goal-setting fun and effective. Tune in and join us for an episode packed with personal growth and financial wisdom!
Money Teachers & References:
Amanda Frances | Book: Rich As F*ck
Ken Honda | Book: Happy Money
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Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, Nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host life coach, nandi Camille. Welcome back, my friends, this week I'm going to start off with a shameless plug. I am launching Accountability Club and I am so stinking excited. Accountability Club will be launching October 8th. We have a few more weeks until it officially launches.
Speaker 2:It's going to be eight sessions between October and January where basically, think about accountability. You're going to have a group of like-minded women that are going to check in on you hey, have you done the thing you've said you wanted to do? A community. So you're going to be able to practice vulnerability, be able to practice saying out loud the things that you want and be in a safe space of other women who are doing the same thing. So, whether it's to lose weight, or it's to start your business, or it's to get on a dating app, or it's to meditate every single day, or it's to X, y, z, whatever your goal is and you've had a hard time doing it that's why I have created Accountability Club goal is and you've had a hard time doing it that's why I have created Accountability Club. It's this hybrid coaching and accountability, so it's type of like mastermind. Some of you know what that is, some of you don't, so to give you a background, for masterminds it's usually a group of humans and, again, like-minded humans, and truly you're working with each other to get each other to the next level. Usually, masterminds are focused on a specific goal. It might be an $100,000 mastermind, where everybody in the group is looking to bring their business to the 100K mark. So it's going to be part mastermind style, in that you will be able to collaborate with the other members in this group. It's not just going to be me talking at you all the time, but part of it will be me coaching lecture style, workshop style, checking in and having you do prompts while we're in those classes, but then also leaving space for you to collaborate and talk out loud again about those things that are on your heart, what you're working on and what's getting in your way To have a more organized view of what accountability club is. Because I just threw all of that at you, because y'all, I just I'm so excited because I made this from a place of.
Speaker 2:What do I feel like? The women in my life, the women in my circle, the women that I've worked with and I've coached. What do I feel like they need, especially this time of year. We're getting into the holidays, so nothing that's that cumbersome, right? It's every other week and I was very specific in the dates that I chose. I made sure they were never on holiday weeks. It's on Tuesday nights. It's an hour long call. We might do an hour and a half. Sometimes it's in the evenings, so I made sure I was really thoughtful about when the timing was as well as, truly, what am I hearing from my community? And what I'm hearing is I know what I want to do and I know what I need to do it. I'm just having a hard time following through and I'm having a hard time finding people who are also showing up and doing the work, or, as Brene Brown says, are in the arena, right, who are showing up and, if they also want to launch a business, are going to networking events, or if they're wanting to lose weight or feel differently in their body, they're doing the work to feel more confident. They're doing the work to change up their diet, meaning what they're intaking in their body, right. So this was why Accountability Club was created. If you go to nandukamilcom slash accountability club, you can learn more about it. You can sign up for it there.
Speaker 2:I have a few different packages, from just the calls themselves to if you're wanting one-on-one coaching. If you've been listening to the podcast and you're like, actually I would like some specific, what is the word that I'm looking for? Tailored coaching? That's just for me, right? When we're on the podcast, I give general information, right? Hopefully it speaks straight to you. Hopefully, my goal when I say this or do this podcast, is that individuals do truly feel like she's talking to me, she knows what I'm going through, she understands my pain and it really does feel individualized. And what I love about one-on-one coaching is it's that next step of I'm going to sit on a camera with you you and me, one-on-one and we're going to talk about your life, your issues, your setbacks, your dreams, your desires, and we're going to unpack and unscramble the things that are getting in your way. If that's of interest to you, I have a package for that as well. Again, all of this is in the show notes. Accountability Club starts October 8th. It'll be 6.30 PM mountain time and all of the dates are listed.
Speaker 2:I ask that you can attend at least 50% of the calls, but I do have one of my old clients, or actually I believe she's still a current client. I need to actually look at her client tracking. She's recently become a flight attendant. She knows who she is when she's listening to this, and so I have not been able to see her in a little while, and she's been going through training and being a flight attendant. She doesn't actually know what her schedule is, so for her, she reached out and said hey, I don't know that I'm going to be able to make at least 50% of these calls. Is it still going to be okay? So if you have any questions, please reach out. Hello at nandikamilcom.
Speaker 2:All right, this week, my friends, I was starting to unpack the topic of an action audit auditing your action and checking in to make sure that the action that you're taking is in alignment with the future goals that you have. We're actually going to table that to next week. If that sounds of interest to you, join me back next week. I'm really excited about that episode and I actually wanted to take a little bit more time to unpack that one. I feel like I was just getting started with that one, and so, for this week, what we're talking about, what I got really excited about actually was money and parents, money and parents.
Speaker 2:One of my favorite things to work on with my clients, with the women that I work with, is money mindset how we think about money, how we carry ourselves in association with money, how we think and feel about money. When we're in a store, whether it's a grocery store or shopping for clothing, or we're going to sell something Maybe you're starting a business and you're going to sell something for the first time we have thoughts about money. Then who am I to set that price? Or I don't know what price to set right? And so we start to unpack money in our relationship with it, and our relationship with it changes right From when we're little to when we're big, depending if we're selling or if we're buying. Our relationship shifts, but that's truly what it comes down to. And again, take what sticks to you, leave the rest.
Speaker 2:But I would say that, at the end of the day, when it comes to money, it's a relationship that we have with it, and this is something that many of the experts that I've been learning from would also offer. I'll have to put them in the show notes because I really don't want to butcher any of these authors names, but one of the books that I recently read was Happy Money Love. That book it's actually Japan's mentor on money number one money mentor and he says that it is a relationship that you have with money, as well as Amanda Francis, she's here in the US and she would say the same thing. So those are the teachers that I'm learning from. I'll put their information in the show notes, but what we're talking about today in relationship to our relationship with money is how we formed our relationship with money, where we got our ideas about money from, and we get them from all over the place as we're growing, as we're learning, whether it's in school, from our friends, whether it's from that one neighbor that has that beautiful car, whether it's from that one coworker or whoever. It is right.
Speaker 2:But what we're going to focus on today is our parents and what they taught us about money. Right, and I will use the term parents loosely. For some of us, we had a mom and a dad. For some of us, we had just a mom or just a dad, or two dads or two moms, or we were raised by our grandparents. Whoever raised you, whoever were your predominant guardian figures, parent figures in your life? That's what we're going to hone in on today, and so first I am going to talk in the traditional sense, but I truly want you to take what's next. You leave the rest and make this your own. So if I use a figure that is traditional but is not, you grew up in an untraditional household. Please use what works best for you.
Speaker 2:So first I want to start with your mother. What did your mother teach you about money? So again, as always, pause this. If you need to pause the podcast, I always recommend. If you have a notebook by you and you're in a place where you can take notes, highly recommend taking notes. What did your mother teach you about money? Or what did the mother figure the feminine figure in your life, if you had one teach you about money? And when I say what did they teach you about money, it's not always what they verbatim taught you, like sitting you down and saying this is a dollar and this is a dime. Maybe that happened for you, but that's not always what they verbatim taught you, like sitting you down and saying this is a dollar and this is a dime. Maybe that happened for you, but that's not necessarily what I'm saying. Teaching you about money could have been their habits, their patterns around money, and by watching them, by observing them, what did you learn about money?
Speaker 2:So for me, the first thing that comes up as I think about my mom and cutting coupons, that is such a strong memory for me. She would sit at our kitchen table and cut coupons Like it was a game, like it was her job, and I really do believe that she got some level of joy from it. If you've ever seen what is that show, it's where the people buy things in major. It's like super coupon or something like that. It's like on TLC or used to be, where people buy things in bulk and they get hundreds and hundreds of things and they buy it all for like 76 cents. My mom wasn't quite to that level, but it was in that vicinity of. She felt joy At least that was my observation as a child that she felt joy from saving money Whenever we would go to the stores, whenever any store we went to.
Speaker 2:And usually I'm trying to think back. I'm like what stores did I go to? And I really want you, when you're going through this, really think through this. What stores did you go to? And when you went into those stores. What was your experience? So I'm going to take myself to the grocery store.
Speaker 2:We being a military family my dad was in the Navy we moved every four years, so we lived all over the world and all over the country, so our grocery stores changed. It really didn't matter where we shopped, necessarily, but whenever we did shop, I do remember that my mother always bought generic. So that was something that I learned about money early on. You don't buy the name brand things. Those things are expensive. You buy the generic things because the generic things are the same exact ingredients are very close for far less. That's how you're you be a smart shopper, right? That is one of the things that my mother taught me, and so that's what I want you to do.
Speaker 2:When I ask you, what did your mother teach you about money, I want you to pause, truly, think back to your childhood and even think back to now. When's the last time you saw your mom and maybe you guys went to a restaurant or you went to the store and how does she, how do they act around money, act with money, act in regards to money, and, as a result, what did you learn from her? And I want to offer that we're not here to label any of it. We're not here to label it good or bad. We're not here to label it bad or wrong. We're here to just look at it. What did I learn about money from my mother period, without labeling it at all? Because, remember our running definition of mindfulness is some of you who've been listening forever I feel like I can hear you chiming in Mindfulness is awareness without judgment. That's also my teacher brain wanting you all to chime in every single time I say that, but that is our writing definition. Mindfulness is awareness without judgment. So we're going to be aware of the things that we were taught by our mother and we're not going to judge them, because the next step from there would be what I would offer to somebody I was working with would be okay.
Speaker 2:Now, based on what you've learned from your mother, what things do you want to keep and what things do you want to get rid of? What things do you really appreciate? I actually really appreciate the generic thing. Do I always buy the generic brand? No, I absolutely do buy name brand things now as an adult, and I enjoy it. But I do also look at the ingredients and do, I'd say, 50% of the time, buy the generic version, because it is true that most of the ingredients are the same and I can get it for a cheaper price, and that feels good for me, right? And so check in. What did you learn and what do you want to keep? What do you want to let go of? Now we're going to do the same.
Speaker 2:What did your father figure? What did your father and this could be again your grandfather, it could have been a teacher that was, in your life, a masculine figure. It could have been a coach that you spent a lot of time with, and they were like a father figure what did they teach you? About money, and again, you're going to take a moment to look at what did they verbatim teach me? Did my father say, hey, this is how you save. Hey, this is how you get ahead? Hey, these are the jobs that make the most money, right, my dad? It was always who's my doctor, who's my lawyer, who's my engineer? So, as a byproduct that's how I learned from my father I learned that the only jobs that could make money, according to him, were those three.
Speaker 2:What I think is so interesting is that, even as a child, I actually didn't believe that and I'm so grateful that I don't know where that came from. I don't know where that came from, but I didn't believe that. I heard it from him and I learned from him that those were the only careers you could guarantee that you could be quote successful. For him, success meant making enough money to be comfortable to go on vacations and to have a nice car and to have a home that you were comfortable in and not feel like you were living paycheck to paycheck right For him. That was his definition of success and those were the jobs that would allow me to be successful. Again, I paid him no mind. At no point did I ever consider any of those careers at all. I was always very creative and I told my parents I would make money living a creative life and I have done that and I'm so grateful to my past self, my little self, who was so confident in that and has held on to that.
Speaker 2:But what did your father teach you? What did you learn about money? The other thing that I observed watching my parents that was interesting was that you can spend money on vacation. It's okay to spend money on vacation, and this was a silent thing that I learned watching them, because when we were at home on a day-to-day basis my neighbors I would see how their parents would give them a lot of money for allowance or anytime they wanted something. They would just ask for money. Oh, I'm going out with my friends. Their parents would just give them $20 or $40, right, that was not happening in my household at all.
Speaker 2:I was, first of all, not allowed to just ask for money. If I wanted money, I had to work for it. So there's another lesson that I learned about money you have to work hard for your money. You must work hard for money. My parents never just gave me money. If I wanted it, I had to ask to wash their car, ask to do another chore, ask them what chores I could do in exchange for money. Right, and so truly, I want you to zoom out. Look at your life, look at your upbringing. What were the silent messages that you learned about money? Did you learn that you had to work for money, or were you in a household where maybe you learned that money? Did you learn that you had to work for money? Or were you in a household where maybe you learned that money can be freely given because your parents freely gave it to you, and so it wasn't this very hard heavy thing. But money actually is this light and fun thing. What is the energy of money, based on the household you were raised in. When people talked about money in your household, how did it feel, right? So if I were to wrap that into a third question, it would be how did your parents interact when it came to money? Right, we've looked at the mother, we've looked at the father. Now let's look at your parents together when they talked about money and again bring it back to you.
Speaker 2:If you grew up in a single household, use what works for you. If you grew up with two parents or grandparents, how did they interact when it came to money? When you went to a restaurant, right, my memory was I wasn't allowed to buy soda. My sister and I were not allowed to order soda at all, and it was a way that we saved money. Right, it was health wise and it was money wise. My parents were like no, that's not good for your teeth and it's not good for your teeth and it's not great for our wallets. You don't need to be drinking sugary things and we don't need to spend $4 on it. No, you can have water. My entire childhood we had water, unless it was your birthday. That's what you had, right, and so that's again.
Speaker 2:No-transcript verbatim told to you, or they were silent messages. My mom, verbatim, told me that it's important for me to always have my own money. That is something she taught me about money. She always told me to have my own. Yes, you might get married one day. Yes, you might have a partner one day. I don't know if you're going to be a stay-at-home mom or not. Regardless, always have your own money. That was something that she put in me. What were the things that your parents, your guardians, the parental figures in your life put into you?
Speaker 2:What's so lovely about this exercise is when we take a moment to zoom out and look at our childhood, or zoom in, however that metaphor works for you. But take a look at your childhood and really mindfully notice what was I taught as a child. It can be so surprising the things that we've carried with us into adulthood without even knowing it. It is so surprising because there might be some things that, yes, I'm really proud of this. This is something I want to keep for my mother. We always shopped in the sale rack, always, always, she always sent us to the sale rack and I would pull something out and I'd ask her mom, can I have this? And her first question would be did you get it off of the sale rack? So now, as an adult, I don't always go immediately to the sale rack, but I'm not afraid of it and I actually really love it Right. And so I've found this beautiful balance.
Speaker 2:And there's other things that you know I'd actually don't want to bring those things with me into my adulthood. Those are things that worked for my mom, worked for my dad, but they're not necessarily money patterns that I want for me. That's what we're doing today, lovingly checking in. We're not blaming them. We're not placing any blame on anybody. We're not here to say they taught me wrong and they shouldn't taught me this and they should have taught me that, Absolutely not. It's just a mindful check-in. What did I learn and what is it that I'm still carrying with me now? Of the things that I'm still carrying with me now, always buy generic, only spend money on vacation. Whatever it is that you learned, what do I want to keep and what no longer serves me From that place? There might be some things that you have to practice.
Speaker 2:I will always come back to the year that I was an ambassador for Ever Eve and they gave me $200 a month to spend. I was so excited I had worked so hard to be an ambassador. That's all I wanted. That's literally all that I wanted, and I worked very hard. I posted every single day, posted cute outfits, and all I wanted was to be noticed by a national brand and get paid to buy clothes. And I was. And when I was paid to buy clothes, never in my entire life had I ever been given a budget of $200. And this was per month for an entire year.
Speaker 2:My friends, I had to grow into those shoes. I had to learn how to enjoy spending money on myself. I had to learn how to think about my relationship with money and with clothing and with spending differently. I actually could not shop the sale rack when I was doing that for a year with every I mean I could. They didn't really stop me, but my job was to promote the clothing that was up and coming, that was coming out. That wasn't the things that were on the sale rack, so those things did cost more. They were retail and so I had to work with that.
Speaker 2:I had to sit with myself and I noticed oh my gosh, there are a lot of things that I'm carrying with myself. I'm not allowed to spend more than $20 on a t-shirt. I kid you not. That was a rule that I carried around and I did not realize it was a rule that I carried around. That was no longer serving me until I went to buy a t-shirt from EverWeave and it was a $40, $45 t-shirt. I had to come up against that and something in me was like oh my gosh, you're not allowed to do that. And when I looked at it I noticed, ah, I'm carrying that from my childhood. My mom would not have let me buy a $40 t-shirt. That would have never been allowed. And if I would have brought her into the store now, she would have looked at me crazy if I told her I bought a t-shirt for $40 even today and I'm 31 years old, right? And so this is why we get to do this exercise. It's not to blame or shame, it's just to check in what is serving me and what is not, based on who I am, who I want to be and where I'm going.
Speaker 2:If I want to be someone who feels comfortable buying. Let's go to a fun example a Chanel bag, right? Who feels comfortable walking into Neiman Marcus and buying a beautiful purse for $500. And again, use the example that works for you. Not everybody's excited about a $500 purse. Some people want to buy a really nice car. Some people want to spend that money on a vacation or an excursion. Some people want to do a really big donation. Maybe you want to donate $100,000 to a corporation or to a nonprofit that really speaks to your heart. Whatever it is right. You have this big goal and it requires a large amount of money. Maybe it's just buying a home, but in your area it's going to cost $700,000 to buy a home. Right, it's going to take. There's a little bit of an itchy area from where you are to where you're going to be.
Speaker 2:The version of you who has the purse, has the car, has the money to donate to the corporation, is able to invest in the home. What is that version of you think about that investment? What is that version of you think about money and where they are differently than how you're thinking about money? Now, that's where we get to do the work, but what I want to offer is it starts with. Where are you coming from? What beliefs do you already carry with you about money? Let's check in there and let's take what sticks to us and leave what doesn't stick to us. Money let's check in there and let's take what sticks to us and leave what doesn't stick to us anymore. Let's leave the things that we no longer want to carry with us and then from there, let's look a few steps ahead.
Speaker 2:The version of me who has purchased the house. The version of me who has 10 clients. The version of me who does go to that beautiful restaurant that I walk by all the time and I want to go there so bad, but I know it's going to cost at least $100 for me to go, but I want to go so bad. That version of you who's at that restaurant eating that beautiful meal, who's so excited to eat that meal and so comfortable eating that meal. What are they thinking about spending that money? What are they thinking about being in that environment? Go to that version of you, visit that version of you, right, and see what they have to say about money.
Speaker 2:That is my last offering for you. Start where you are, clean it up and then go to the future version of you who already has the thing that you want and start thinking that way ahead of time. Because here's the thing, my friends the only reason we want anything is because of how we believe we will feel in the having of it. The only reason why you want the car, the baby, the job, the house, the person is because of how you believe you will feel in the having of it. So what we get to play with is feeling that way ahead of time. So when it comes to money mindset, you get to feel good about having that thing or having that experience ahead of time. So, when it comes to money mindset, you get to feel good about having that thing or having that experience ahead of time.
Speaker 2:And when that itchiness comes up that says who are you to? Or I can't do that, look at it. Look at it and check in. Where did that come from? Why is it that I don't believe that I can have this? Why is it that I don't believe that I can spend more than $20 on a t-shirt? Why is it that I don't believe that it's okay for me to get a nice dinner for $100? Why is it that I don't think that it's okay to dot, dot dot and just sit with it Again, mindfully aware, without any judgment of it. Just notice why is this coming up? Why don't I believe that this is available to me? As always, my friends, if you want assistance with this, reach out.
Speaker 2:Accountability Club is launching October 8th. We're going to dive into all of this. I'm going to hold you accountable to the things that you want. We're going to unpack why you're not going after some of the things, why these speed bumps are getting in your way, and we're going to have fun. We're going to have fun because, truly, I like to believe that the only reason that any of us want anything is because we think it's going to be fun. We think it's going to be fun, so let's have some fun. My friends, sign up for Accountability Club. Nandikamilcom slash accountability club. It is in the description, in the show notes of this podcast episode. I'll see you next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you could give us a five-star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more, or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.