Believe Like A Boss
Learn how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual (energetic) alignment and intentional action. Join each week as Life Coach Nandi (rhymes with Gandhi) teaches you how to create what she calls "a life of thrive" with ease and authenticity. | NandiCamille.com
Believe Like A Boss
Unlocking Unwavering Confidence: Trust and Consistency in Action
Imagine becoming the most confident version of yourself simply by trusting in your actions and staying consistent with your personal values. How would that change your life?
In this episode, we reveal the transformative power of our unique formula: Trust times Consistency equals Confidence. Join me as I unpack how aligning your actions with your values can boost your self-esteem and reshape your identity. Through mindset management and spiritual alignment, you'll discover how to navigate the gap between who you are and who you want to be. We'll guide you through self-awareness exercises that challenge old beliefs and help you build a new, empowered version of yourself.
We also tackle a common pitfall: prioritizing others at the expense of our own growth. Reflect on how childhood experiences may have set the stage for this and learn how to break free from self-limiting habits. This episode is your chance to explore the ways in which your self-perception influences your path to success. Get ready to embody the traits of your most confident self and rewrite your personal narrative. Plus, we'll guide you on how to self-assess and seek feedback to ensure your growth is on track. Tune in and begin your journey toward unwavering confidence in 2025 and beyond.
ENJOY THE PODCAST?
Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
LEARN MORE ABOUT COACHING
NandiCamille.com
SCHEDULE YOUR FREE DISCOVERY CALL
Click Here
EVENTS
Click here to learn view
LISTEN TO MY CONFIDENCE SESSIONS IN THE MARIGOLD APP
50% off annual membership: Use code: NANDI50
---> Click below to learn more
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/marigold-self-confidence/id1463889202
LET'S BE SOCIAL
Email: hello@nandicamille.com
Instagram: @nandi.camille
Learn more about Nandi and Life Coaching at: NandiCamille.com
Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host, life Coach, nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go? Hello, hello, hello, my friends, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach, nadia Camille. Welcome back, my friends. This week we are diving into identity and confidence, so I'm going to dive right in my friends. For me, if you've been here a while, let me back up. First things first, welcome to the podcast. If you're a new friend here, take what sticks to you, leave the rest.
Speaker 1:I'm a mindfulness-based life coach, meaning that mindfulness is awareness without judgment. As a mindfulness-based life coach, we're going to be aware of our thoughts without judgment, because that's how we change our thoughts. I believe that our thoughts about whatever it is in the world your job, your relationship, money, yourself influence how we feel those feelings and influence the action that we take. The action that we take influences the results that we get, and so on. This podcast and what I do as a coach is I'm always going to. My goal is to help you get the. I'm so excited. My goal is to help you get the desired result that you want. But what we're going to always do first is look at the thoughts and the feelings that are driving the actions that are creating the results that you're getting. So, again, if you've been with me for a while my own personal I've created this on my own. I did not go to any other coach or guru, though I take a lot from a lot of other coaches and I will always give them their credit.
Speaker 1:This one is mine Trust times. Consistency equals confidence. I used to say trust plus consistency, but then I turned it into a multiplication problem instead, because you multiply trust times consistency to get confidence is the way that I see it. It feels more accurate than adding them together. The way that breaks down is when you trust yourself, when you trust who you are, when you trust how you show up in the world, meaning you trust the way that you behave is in alignment with your best self. You trust the action that you're taking is in alignment with your best self. Right, you have identified for yourself what it means to be yourself, your best self, and that is nothing crazy like, oh, you don't have to get out a list and this is who my best self is. They do this, this, this and this. No, you know, based on how you were raised, based on your culture, based on the culture of your workplace, based on the culture of your family, you have an idea of what it means to be your best self, whether that means that you're on time to events, you speak honestly, you don't gossip, you don't steal, you do your best at work, right? You trust that the action that you are taking is in alignment with your own personal definition of what it means for you to be your best person in the world, right? So, trusting yourself, that's what that means.
Speaker 1:When you trust yourself consistently, you're actively trusting who you are. You're on a daily basis, affirming the work that you're doing, affirming how you're showing up in the world, meaning that you have your own back right. There's one thing to go to a job, and the whole time you're going to that job, being at that job, leaving that job, you're like I hate this job, I don't want to go to this job. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here. And then when you're, that is not you having your own back right. You chose that job. Nobody is forcing you to get in your car and go to that job. Yes, the consequence of you not going to that job means that you will not get a paycheck, which means you will not be able to pay your bills, which means you will not have a roof over your head. But you are still choosing the path in which you bring in income. You get to choose that job. You could choose another job.
Speaker 1:So when you're over here saying I hate this, I hate this, but then you're not taking any action on it, you are breaking trust with yourself. Your spirit, your inner, your brain is saying I do not like this. And then, when you continue to ignore the part of you that says I do not like this, you start to break down your own trust, because now you're ignoring yourself and now yourself doesn't trust you to take action right. And so that's where all this gobbledygook comes up, where I don't trust myself. I feel unconfident, I don't feel good because I'm consistently not having my own back instead of having my own back right. So trust times, consistency equals confidence.
Speaker 1:We're going to break that down a little bit more, because we're going to talk a little bit more about how identity and confidence go hand in hand, based on our thoughts. So let's break down identity, and this is my own definition of identity. How I'm going to break down identity. Identity, very basically, is how you see yourself. That's going to be my working definition of identity how you see yourself, how you see yourself. Let's break that down even more. What does that mean? Those are the thoughts you have about you, right, and so the thoughts you have about you influence how you feel about yourself. Then, how you feel about yourself remember, thoughts influence feelings. How you feel about yourself is now influencing the action you take or don't take. Then the action you take or don't take is reinforcing how you see yourself. So let's put this into an example.
Speaker 1:If you see yourself as timid and avoidant, there are two parts to this that I want us to look at, right? So mindfulness, awareness without judgment. We're going to be mindfully aware of how we see ourselves without judging ourselves, okay? So if you might honestly come up with I see myself as timid and avoidant, we're not going to judge that. Oh, you shouldn't be timid and avoidant. Look at you. No, just notice. I authentically feel when I see myself, when I look at myself. When I were to describe myself to myself, I see me as timid and avoidant. I want you to fill in the blank, as I'm going through this for yourself. How do you actually see yourself? Do you see yourself as smart, capable? Do you see yourself as timid, avoidant? Do you see yourself as dot dot dot? How do you see yourself Working with the example of timid and avoidant?
Speaker 1:The first thing your brain is going to do, the reason why it comes up with the sentences your brain is because it has evidence. Right, if you see yourself as timid, avoidant, less than unconfident, there's likely something in your brain that gives you evidence for this thought. So first I want you to mindfully look at your life. Where is the evidence that you are timid? Where is the evidence that you are avoided? What is the evidence that you are unconfident? What is your brain looking at to give you this information? An example of this might be I don't speak up at work. That's my evidence. When I'm walking through my workday, when I'm going to meetings, I watch myself again and again not speak up, even though there's a part of me that wants to speak up, even though there's a part of me that has things to say. I'm watching myself want to say things and not say things. That is my evidence that I am timid.
Speaker 1:It might be that I don't tell my partner how I feel. You're in the car. Your partner always chooses the music. This actually came up for Tyler and I recently. He loves music, but specifically he really loves EDMM. He actually has a very eclectic love of music. He likes punk rock, edm, progressive rock and I love all kinds of music, but I don't like to just listen to that kind of music all of the time and I was getting into a cycle where I wasn't speaking up and this is a silly thing. But I want you to notice the little quote silly things in your life where you're not speaking up because these things can pile up.
Speaker 1:So I'm sitting in the car and months and months and months and months where we just literally only listen to what Tyler wants to listen to. It's his phone, it's his playlist. I know that he's the driver. I get to be the passenger, princess. I've chosen this life, but I still want to listen to music that I want to listen to, but for a very long time I wasn't speaking up.
Speaker 1:Finally, at the end of last year, I was like, hey, you know, it would be nice if maybe we put some of my songs into the playlist. Or can I create a playlist, too for the car, or can we collaborate on a car playlist so that I'm not just always listening to your music? I want to listen to my music too. Because here's what was happening. I was noticing that and me continuing to only listen to his music, only focus on him. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. That was my self wanting to be kind and hold space for him, and that was lovely.
Speaker 1:But what I was noticing about myself was that I was starting to use the language of oh, it doesn't matter what I like, it doesn't matter what kind of music I want to listen to, I don't matter, it doesn't matter. That's the moment where I had to pause and check in. Is this a truth? Is this a thought? Is this a belief that I want to carry? That my opinion doesn't matter, that it doesn't matter what the taste is in my music. No, that's not true for me, because I go forward and I think about my kids and us having a family, and when I think about Tyler and I having a family and our family being in the car, I want us to have already established a rhythm in which we listen to dad's music and mom's music and the kids' music. This is something that I'd like to start to get into practice now. So this is why I really truly mindfulness is work. It's pausing when these quote little things come up, taking a look at them.
Speaker 1:Is this an alignment for me to continue to not speak up? For some of you it might be. No, I'm good with being the passenger princess. I don't need to pick the music. I will just listen to whatever I want to when I'm at home. That might be more in alignment for some of you, but for me, when I was thinking about my most confident self, the life that I want to create, the family that I want to create, it feels more in alignment to have a collaborative car where we collaborate on the music that we all listen to, and as a result of that conversation, tyler and I have been collaborating on our playlist. I now feel more in alignment, I now feel more empowered, I now feel like there's a bigger line of communication between the two of us, where before I was a little bit timid.
Speaker 1:I don't want to irritate him, I don't want to annoy him and notice those were silly thoughts that I was thinking too. I don't want to irritate him, I don't want to annoy him. Tyler was not irritated or annoyed at all that I spoke up and said, hey, I want to listen to a little bit more of my music. He actually hadn't noticed right, and he cannot read my mind. As much as I want him to be able to read my mind, he cannot. Okay, so let's go back to our example.
Speaker 1:What is the evidence that you have of you being unconfident? In what areas of your life are you not speaking up? In what areas of your life are you not doing the thing that you say you want to do? And it might not be in relationship. I think often we think about confidence when it comes to relationship. I stand up in front of people and I public speak and I can talk to anybody in a room. But it also can come down to what you put on your body. Maybe you've really, really wanted to wear certain colors or wear certain accessories, but you're too afraid to because dot, dot, dot Again. Notice the moments in your life. What is the evidence your brain is giving you that you are unconfident? I would encourage you to write these things down. Where in my life am I noticing that I'm not showing up as my fullest self, right? And then what are you making it mean? There's evidence, and then we're making stories based on that evidence. Thoughts influence our feelings, feelings influence our actions. Actions influence our results, right? So the thought is I don't speak up at work. I'm making it mean I would rather make myself uncomfortable than make others uncomfortable. Nine times out of 10, this is the case. This may not be the case for you, but check in to see if it is.
Speaker 1:I was working with a client in Accountability Club which I can't believe we're wrapping up tomorrow oh, as you guys are listening to this today, bananas where this was exactly what was happening. She noticed hey, I wrote all these goals down for myself. These goals make me feel my most confident. I'm actually not taking action on them. I'm taking action on the things that other people put on my to-do list. And as we looked at that, we noticed because it was more, it was easier, rather, to make herself uncomfortable than it would be to make others uncomfortable. Sit with that for a moment, because I know that that can be me in certain seasons, where I would rather say yes to all of you, everybody else's things and make myself uncomfortable, than say yes to what I want, which means saying no to what you want, which might make the other person uncomfortable. Sometimes that's what keeps us from showing up as our most confident self our deep desire to please everyone in our world. There's nothing wrong with that desire. I just always will recommend to bring it back home to you long term, right, let's say you continue to do it that way, where you continue to put other people's needs in front of your own.
Speaker 1:What kind of person do you end up being For me, when I notice, when I meet people like that in the world, when I turn into that person, when I'm just always putting other people's needs before my own with the effort of being the best person, being a really kind person, I end up actually being a really cranky person. I end up actually being a really cranky person. I end up being really resentful. I end up being really frustrated, because I then start thinking I don't have any time for myself, I'm always doing for others. Nobody's ever doing for me. That's when I get into that place and I'm not my best self from that place. I don't create beautiful ideas. From that place. I don't help. I mean I'm surface level helping people because I'm checking their boxes, but I'm not actually, in my opinion, helping people because I'm showing up from a resentful place.
Speaker 1:Okay, so let's zoom back out. Let's say you see yourself as flip it around, smart and capable, fill in the blank. Bold. Speaks up, walks through a room with her chest held high, her head held high. She's friendly to everybody that she meets. She does not let the opinions of other people sway her one way or another. Get clear on what it means for you to be your most confident self, different from how you're showing up now.
Speaker 1:But I would again echo that you spend a hot second looking at how am I showing up right now? That is not in alignment with how I want to show up. Why do I believe that I'm showing up that way? You don't have to do a deep dive as to why. The why you're not showing up in the way that you want to is not as important as where you're going. So spend a second there to clean up anything you need to clean up.
Speaker 1:Why am I not speaking up? Because in my childhood, my parents never let me speak up. I wasn't allowed to speak up in the home. Speaking up meant I was an unruly child. So don't speak up at work, because that means that I'm going to be an unruly employee. Right, take a look at that for a hot second. Notice that, notice whatever comes up for you, and then I would honestly say, put a pin in it.
Speaker 1:Great, now that I've acknowledged that I don't speak up, based on my childhood, I'm going to focus on where I'm going instead. Even though I was told not to speak up in my childhood, I would like to speak up in my adulthood. Here's how I'm going to practice speaking up, and that might. Here's the thing. This is a journey, and as you lean into your most confident self, more things will be revealed to you, right, and so you might notice oh my gosh, now I'm looking at this childhood stuff. Oh crap, yeah, as a kid I never spoke up. Now I'm an adult and I want to speak up more. I'm clear about wanting to speak up more. Now your brain might say but how, how do I it more? How do I do the new thing that I've never done before and this is where we're going to bring it back to trusting yourself.
Speaker 1:When you think about the next best step for you to be your most confident self, what comes up for you? What next best step comes up for you? So here's some questions that I have to help you unpack your current thoughts about your identity and help you move towards the identity that you want to embody. Here's the other thought that I want to present. You might be listening to this podcast, having really worked on your identity and now you're in a place where you feel really good about who you are and how you show up in the world. What I would offer during this section is to really affirm who you are and how you show up in the world. What I would offer during this section is to really affirm who you are and how you show up in the world. If you really like who you are and the behavior or the action that you're taking, get clear on who am I that I really like. I like that I'm friendly or I like that I can public speak. Now I like that. I don't let other people's opinions rock me so much. Verbalize it, write it down, get really clear. Here are your questions.
Speaker 1:What words would you use to describe yourself? Just a very basic, open-ended question. What words would you use to describe yourself? Taking confidence and unconfidence out of it? Just truly describing yourself to yourself? What words come up for you? Do you see yourself as confident? Do you see yourself as organized? Do you see yourself as thoughtful, helpful, motivational, lazy, behind, timid, whatever it is? How would you describe yourself? Bonus here is, if you have some loved ones in your life that you truly trust, asking them, asking some close people in your life, the same question what one to five words would you use to describe me and seeing what comes back from that, but what I would offer, before you even send that text message, because we can very easily be influenced by people that we love which comes from a great place. We care about their opinions, so their opinions then influence us.
Speaker 1:Before you even send that question out, I would ask yourself what do you want people to say about you? Get clear on that Like, before you even send the message. What do you want people to be saying about you? I want them to say that I'm organized. I want them to say that I'm nice. I want them to say that I'm a great friend. What do you want them to say? But really, it's not about ever anybody else. Truly, what that question does ask is what do you want to think and say about yourself? But I would present that question in both ways, because for some people it's easier to answer the question from the place of what do you want others to say about you. It's very easy, very clear, for you to be like this, this, this and this, this is what I want other people to say about me, knowing that the underlying question truly is what is it that you want to say about yourself? What is it that you want to think about yourself? As a follow-up question, I like to use examples in the world as inspiration.
Speaker 1:So if there's anybody in your life that you truly do see as organized, confident, bold, authentically themselves, powerfully themselves, and you really appreciate how they show up in the world, take notes. What do you think that they're thinking about themselves? What do you think that they're thinking about themselves? What do you think that they do to help hype themselves up? Because nobody is 100% confident 100% of the time. So what do they do in those seasons where they're not feeling so confident. What activities do you think that that person does to continue to maintain their confidence? Because that's what we're going to do next. What do confident people do, right, nandi, I don't really know. I'm trying to be my most confident self and I have some ideas as to, like, what my next steps would be, but give me a little bit more. How do I be my most confident self? So I've created a list of what I've gathered that confident people do, or confident people embody.
Speaker 1:Confident people trust themselves. Confident people are willing. Confident people trust themselves. Confident people are willing to be misunderstood. So they're going to show up as their best, do their best, but know that if it gets lost in translation that somebody else's perspective is not their responsibility, somebody else's opinion is not their responsibility. What they're responsible for is for themselves and how they show up in the world. Other people's opinions of them are none of their business. They are willing to be misunderstood. Confident people are willing to make mistakes. They're willing to show up knowing that they're going to do their best, but maybe they do make a mistake and they know that they will improve, learn and grow from these mistakes, from these setbacks. Confident people are not afraid of the failure. They're more afraid of not having shown up period. They would rather show up and fail and learn from that failure because they have the confidence to know that they will bounce back rather than sit still.
Speaker 1:Confident people talk to themselves with kindness. Confident people care for themselves and take care of themselves. I really want you to think about that one. This was true for me, as always Take what sticks to you, leave the rest. Confident people care for themselves and take care of themselves. It goes back to that quote you cannot pour from an empty cup. Our confident people in the world are the people that are, for me, are lights in the world, are pouring into other people because they first poured into themselves. They took care of themselves, they drank their water, they got their rest, they moved their bodies, they did activities that filled their cup so that they could go out in the world and, as a result of them being their best selves, fill other people's cups right. Confident people are always learning.
Speaker 1:Conf? Confident people surround themselves with other kind, capable, capable and confident humans. Who are you surrounding yourself with? And by that quote? That adage still stands you are the result of the top five people that you hang out with and in this day and age, where we do a lot of working from home and we do a lot of isolation more so than we used to or for friends that are a little bit more isolated this thing goes to your coworkers, to the podcasts that you're listening to, to the social media that you're taking in. You are the result of the top five people that you hang out with. Who or what are you hanging out with?
Speaker 1:Confident people do things that make them uncomfortable because it builds confidence right. Confident people do things that make them uncomfortable because they know they're going to grow in having done it. This might be learning a language, this might be trying a new sport, picking up cooking or public speaking or reading, but they, they've chosen a hobby, a challenge, a course, an activity that is going to, on purpose, challenge them Because in the having being challenged, you grow, and when you trust yourself and consistently work on trusting yourself through that challenge, your confidence grows. Confident people do things that make them uncomfortable on purpose, not for the sake of discomfort, but for the sake of growth. Go back to your gym metaphor when you're lifting a heavy weight, it's uncomfortable, but it is for your betterment, it is for the building of your muscles. What muscles are you building right now?
Speaker 1:Who are you surrounding yourself by?
Speaker 1:By, excuse me, and how do you see yourself? How you see yourself, what you think about yourself is influencing everything. If you want to be more confident, think in a way that is more confident. That is oversimplified, but truly, if you want to be more confident, you have to think more confidently. How does your most confident self think about themselves? And here's the thing you can think lovely things all day long. I take care of myself, I'm confident, I'm organized, people love to be around me.
Speaker 1:But if you're not taking the action, that's in alignment with the thought your brain is going to call you out. Your brain is always looking for evidence of the things you've said, right, and so if you're believing a brand new thought that you've never believed before, clients love to work with me and that's the thought that's in alignment with your most confident self, who's running a very successful business. That is going to take a level of you believing without having the evidence before you have the clients, but it is in alignment with the most confident version of you, who already has what you want. What is the most confident version of you who already has what you want thinking, doing. Your job is to think and do that ahead of time.
Speaker 1:Now, as always, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. I'll see you next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five-star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more, or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.