Believe Like A Boss

Embracing Uncertainty: Transforming 'I Don't Know' into a Catalyst for Growth

• Nandi Camille • Season 7 • Episode 7

Share episode

Send us a text

Embrace the unknown with us as we unpack the complexities of uncertainty and how it can become an empowering force rather than a paralyzing one.

 Ever found yourself stuck at a crossroads, unsure of the next step? We explore the liberating potential of "I don't know" and how it can be more than just a placeholder for confusion. Through personal stories and spontaneous bursts of inspiration, we delve into the art of giving oneself grace in moments of indecision, whether you're contemplating a move across the country or the future of a relationship. Discover how embracing the murkiness of not knowing can lead to profound clarity and self-compassion.

Shift your perspective as we navigate the fine line between genuine uncertainty and using it as an excuse to avoid growth. You'll learn to harness the power of envisioning a future where your goals are achieved, gaining confidence and direction along the way. We shed light on practical actions—like solo travel or embarking on a business venture—that propel you beyond the barriers uncertainty constructs. With an emphasis on self-awareness and mindful action, this episode promises to transform how you perceive and utilize uncertainty, turning it into a cornerstone of personal and social growth.

ENJOY THE PODCAST?
Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!

LEARN MORE ABOUT COACHING
NandiCamille.com

SCHEDULE YOUR FREE DISCOVERY CALL
Click Here

EVENTS
Click here to learn view

LISTEN TO MY CONFIDENCE SESSIONS IN THE MARIGOLD APP
50% off annual membership: Use code: NANDI50
---> Click below to learn more
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/marigold-self-confidence/id1463889202

LET'S BE SOCIAL
Email: hello@nandicamille.com
Instagram: @nandi.camille

Learn more about Nandi and Life Coaching at: NandiCamille.com

Speaker 1:

Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host, life Coach Nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go. Time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go. Hello, beautiful people, welcome to another week of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach Nandi Camille. I wanted to give you guys a heads up. This week, our episode is Frankensteined Together.

Speaker 1:

About a month or so ago, I recorded the first half of this episode just in a moment of like, just download. Just in a moment of excitement. We were running errands, tyler ran into the store and so I stayed in the car to record this podcast episode. I got about six minutes into it and then he got back in the car and I just recorded the second half of it. So the audio is a little bit funky, but the message is very clear. Today we are talking about what to do when you don't know right, this area of giving yourself grace for when you don't know. But also, are you using that phrase, I don't know, as a crutch? And if you are, here are some tools to help you navigate. That I hope you enjoy.

Speaker 1:

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host life coach, nadi Camille. Welcome back, my friends, I'm so excited for another week.

Speaker 1:

I am recording this from the car outside of a Denver dispensary. My husband is inside the dispensary and I just have this moment because my brain is always thinking about myself and how I can improve myself and how I can feel better, or just thinking about life, because I love to just sit and, as a mindfulness-based life coach, I'm always just sitting observing myself and my world. Or I'm thinking about the next project for my company, or I'm thinking about my clients and I'm thinking about what they're going through and how I can best serve them in our next session or through an offering, and so I'm sitting here and I'm thinking about just myself and personal branding and how I feel myself and my brand changing. I feel my perspective changing. I feel what I want to offer changing. There's just like the shift happening and I was contemplating two different ways of branding myself, and when I was sitting with it, I said which one feels more aligned? This is just me talking to me, meditating on it, and the answer that originally came up was I don't know. And the reason why I'm wanting to do a whole episode on that is because I've heard so many things on the phrase. I don't know.

Speaker 1:

And as a mindfulness based life coach, an alignment coach for high achieving women, my job and my offering, my hope, is that I will give you tools to help you feel better and more in alignment as you see. Alignment that by listening to this podcast, by consuming my content, you are able to have the tools to redefine success, to get clear on who your best self is, to let go of past hurts right, to get this energetic tool belt that helps you in being your best self as you see your best. There is no archetype that like, if you eat this, do that, sleep this many hours, live in this state, you will have the best life. No, we are all wired differently on purpose. That is the beautiful thing, and so what works for some people doesn't work for all people, and so, as I'm sitting here and the thought comes up I don't know, I don't know right, do I want to go this direction? Do I want to go that direction? The subsequent thought comes up of judgment, of what do you mean? You don't know, you need to have an answer. How come you don't know? So then, immediately I start beating myself up, or I notice myself go to beat myself up because I don't know.

Speaker 1:

And what I want to offer is there are times where we actually do not know. Let's say that you're maybe deciding between living in Georgia or living in Tennessee. Right, you're thinking I want to move, I want to change your pace, I want to change your scenery, and you're thinking about these two places. And it's the first time you're thinking about moving and going somewhere new. And so initially, when somebody asks okay, well, which one do you want to go to, maybe the initial answer is I don't know. Right, you don't actually know, you haven't done the research, you haven't looked into it. It's really the first or second time that you've thought about it. I want to offer that there are times where we genuinely do not know where we are between two options, two people. No, where we are between two options, two people, two realities, two lifestyles, and we sincerely do not in that moment, no, in our bones, from a grounded, aligned, empowered place, what the next best step is for us. We don't, and what I want to offer to that person is to give yourself grace.

Speaker 1:

I was working with a client once and she was deciding on whether or not she was going to stay with this guy. He had made, he'd taken an action that didn't feel in alignment for her and she had developed a level of attachment to him and she believed in forgiveness and people being able to work things out. So there's a part of her that wanted to leave, there's a part of her that wanted to stay, and I noticed her being in this place of I don't know, and then, yes, as a result, beating herself up for not knowing. And so, in that session, what we did instead? I said it's okay that you don't know, you'll know when you know, you will know when you know, and beating yourself up about not knowing is not going to get you any closer to knowing. Beating yourself up about not having the answer already is not going to give you the answer. Right?

Speaker 1:

Let's go back to brain science. If you're thinking the thought I don't know and it's bad that I don't know, you should know. You should know what you focus on expands. So if your brain is focused on that, your reticular activating system is focused on I don't know, I should know right, you're gonna spend more energy trying to pick the quote, right answer, when, in reality, if you just gave yourself the space to say I don't know and that's okay, just notice how that feels in your body. Your body starts to relax. So let's go back to the brain.

Speaker 1:

When you're in a place of I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, and you're starting to like panic or, you know, aggravate your anxiety around it, what you're doing is you're moving into your brainstem that fight, flight, freeze, fawn response. You're in a defensive mode. It is almost impossible to make intelligent decisions from this place because you're in survival mode. You're just trying to feel better. You're trying to escape the feeling of I don't know, right. Whereas if you gave yourself the grace and space to say it's okay that I don't know right now, right, give yourself a timeline.

Speaker 1:

If you're in a place of leadership and you need to make a big decision on do we go with this company or do we go with partnering with that company, and right now, in the second, you don't know, give yourself the grace and space to say it's okay that I don't know, I'm going to make a decision by this date, right, and then decide what are the things that I need to do to help me make an informed decision. Okay, so for the person that is in this space of I don't know let's talk about this a little bit you have some options. Option A I don't know and that's okay. Just completely take any of the resistant energy away from it. This is a different thought than I don't know, and that's bad. This is the person where maybe you're in a leadership position, maybe you're not, but somebody comes up to you at work and says hey, do you know about so and so? And you say I don't know, and immediately, or let's even back up, Some of you will say I don't know, and it's totally fine.

Speaker 1:

What I find most of the time is that the first time we're coming up and we're learning and we're in a leadership position and somebody asks us a question that we don't have the answer to, the first time this happens, there's a level of panic. Almost that happens. Oh my gosh, why don't I have the answer? I should have the answer. I should have all my ducks in a row because I don't have the answer. I don't have my ducks in a row Now I'm behind, now I'm bad.

Speaker 1:

Notice that downward spiral that so quickly happens just because you don't have the answer and you're judging yourself for needing to have all of the answers. It's a little bit of perfectionism, right, if you can catch that. So that's where I would say is like level one. Who is there? Rhetorical question who is that level one when, when you don't have the answer and somebody asks you something, panic sets in. When you don't know. Right, if you're there, that's okay, notice it. Notice it without any judgment.

Speaker 1:

I noticed that when somebody asked me a question and I don't have the answer, immediately it frustrates me and I get anxious that I don't have all the answers. It's okay that you're here, just notice it, right? How would you like to feel instead when I ask clients this question of like okay, when somebody asks you a question and you don't have the answer, you're feeling panicked. How would you like to feel instead? And then, when I ask this question of how would you like to feel instead, usually the answer that comes up is I would like to feel calm, I would like to feel professional, even though I don't have the answer right now. Feel calm. I would like to feel professional even though I don't have the answer right now Great. So this is where we come back to it's okay that I don't have the answer right now, and this again can go for somebody asking you a question in the office.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you're deciding to stay in a relationship or leave. Maybe you're deciding the next offering you're going to have in your business. Maybe you're deciding if you're going to let somebody go or hire somebody, or what is the next step in this project. And it's a big decision. Right, giving yourself the grace and space to say, I don't know, and that's okay. Again, just notice how that feels. Now, if you're in a place where you've given yourself some grace and space I don't know, and that's okay. But now I do need to make an answer, I do need to make a decision. I need to give an answer right.

Speaker 1:

Here are some tools to help you navigate this, this feeling, this thought of I don't know. One of my favorite hacks is to flip I don't know on its head right. What is the opposite of I don't know? I do know, right. And so this is where we use the tool of going to your future version of yourself, who already has the thing that you want.

Speaker 1:

So let's say that you are starting a brand new business, you're working full time and your brain says I don't know how I'm going to go from working full time for somebody else to working full time for myself. Instead of getting stuck here because this is often what happens you focus on that thought I don't know how to start a business, I don't know how to just work for myself. I don't know, I don't know. Your reticular activating system gets kicked in. Your reticular activating system then says I don't know how to look for a business, I don't know how to build a business, and then looks for evidence of that sentence. Again, it does not matter.

Speaker 1:

This is the mindset piece. It does not matter what you think right, it matters if you believe what you're thinking. So, if you think the thought I don't know how to start a business and you truly believe that, like I don't know and that's a bad thing, here's where I want it. This is where it gets a little mind crazy. The reality is is you've never started a business before, so you don't know. The mindset piece is that thought is not serving you, because if you continue to think the thought I don't know how to start a business, your reticular activating system, your brain, then goes to look for evidence of that sentence period. Whether or not you've ever started a business doesn't actually matter. When you think that thought, your brain is just going to look for more evidence that you can't do it, that you don't know how to do it right.

Speaker 1:

The way we flip it on its head is if you truly believe that it is possible for you to be a full-time entrepreneur, for you to full-time work for yourself, doing work that you love, putting your own creativity into the world, if you truly believe that that reality is available to you, I want you to go to the future version of you who is already in that reality. So, for this example, the future version of you who is already working for themselves, who has turned in their two weeks notice, who has turned in their one month notice to their full-time job and is now working full-time for themselves. Go to that version of you and think like that what is that version of you who is working full-time for themselves doing on a day-to-day basis? What does it look like to work with clients on a daily basis. What does it look like to run your business? Is it an e-commerce business? Are you seeing clients in person? Are you seeing clients online? What does it actually look like Then?

Speaker 1:

From that place, so many more answers become available to you when you're thinking the thought I don't know. Think about it like glasses. That's the lens that you're looking through life. I don't know. Brain says, okay, I don't know and I'm going to go look for evidence that I don't know. Versus, if I start thinking on purpose, of course the clients are coming, or I am a multi six figure. Whatever it is for you honestly like, truly ignore me. And what is it for you that you want?

Speaker 1:

Go to the future version of you, who has what it is that you want, and think from that place. That version of you knows that version of you has already created the business. That version of you is already working with clients. That version of you has already created the business. That version of you is already working with clients. That version of you has already been showing up online. What does that version of you have for you? What is that version of you? What is that version of you's advice for you? What is that version of you. How do they dress, how do they walk, how do they talk, how do they act, how do they be? The reason why you quote don't know is because you're asking this current brain that's never done it before, right, so this is again where we get to play with that mindset magic. Go to the future version of you, who has already done it. Okay, this is a really great way to flip I don't know on its head.

Speaker 1:

Now, on a very practical note, if you are noticing yourself saying that phrase I don't know, I don't know, again and again, what is it that you don't know? I don't know about the laws, about this. I don't know how to dress myself in this environment. I don't know how to talk to people who work in this kind of place. I don't know how to ask for a raise. I don't know what who work in this kind of place. I don't know how to ask for a raise. I don't know what. What is it that your, your brain, is saying you don't know. Go do research on that thing. It's a very straightforward. There's nothing mind blowing here. I'm not teaching a new concept, but this is something that I find again and again when I'm working with beautiful Queens.

Speaker 1:

Ambitious Queens were like, oh my gosh, what do you want to do? I want to travel to Europe, right, great. And then ambitious queens were like, oh my gosh, what do you want to do? I want to travel to europe, right, great. And then they're like I don't know how I would travel to europe and start backpacking in europe. I don't, I don't know. I'm like okay, well, where might you start? When you imagine backpacking in europe, where are you going? What are you doing? Did it? And they're like I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Those are your stepping stones. If you don't know where you want to travel, let's google places to travel in europe that's safe for a single woman to backpack alone. Do research. Those are my two. It's not even that mind-boggling of a hack, but those are my two hacks.

Speaker 1:

When it comes to that phrase, I don't know. If you are in a place of remember, it's okay not to know, right, it's totally okay not to know. But if you're in a place of like, I'm tired of just saying that phrase to myself. It's not serving me and it's actually keeping me stuck. Option A go to that future version of you who already has a thing that you want. They know. They know what to do. They know if you stay in the relationship. They know if you got online more. They know if you left the state or not. They know. Go to that future version of you. Other left the state or not? They know. Go to that future version of you.

Speaker 1:

Other option is do the research on the thing that your brain is saying I don't know to Look up how to be a blogger. Research how to communicate with your kids. Research how to be a more confident speaker, whether it's on stages or in networking arenas. Look up how to start an LLC and what is the difference between an LLC and an S-Corp. Google different groups in the area.

Speaker 1:

If you're looking for friends, if you're like I don't know how to make friends, google friends in your city, literally Right. Give yourself the grace to not know. If you sincerely don't know, but also have the wherewithal and the mindfulness, the self-awareness, to notice when the phrase I don't know is a crutch, when the phrase I don't know is an excuse to keep you stuck where you are. Is I don't know an excuse right now for you, or is it just true that right now you're sifting and sorting and you truly don't know, and that's okay. As always, my friends, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. I'll see you next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five-star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.