Believe Like A Boss

Decision Making Questions

• Nandi Camille • Season 7 • Episode 8

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Are you feeling stuck in decision-making? Join me, Life Coach, Nandi Camille, as we explore how fears can influence our choices and learn practical strategies to navigate them. This engaging episode of Believe Like a Boss uncovers the intricacies of decision-making, encouraging you to embrace your journey with clarity and confidence. 

We’ll dive into essential self-reflective questions to clarify your desires and aspirations, ultimately empowering you to take action. Understanding what lies within your control versus what does not is vital for overcoming feelings of overwhelm. Filled with actionable insights, this episode will inspire you to conduct the necessary research to make informed decisions. 

Shift your perspective by envisioning not just potential failures, but also the successes that await you. Acknowledging your fears is an opportunity for personal growth, allowing you to confront them directly. Together, we’ll cultivate the courage to pursue our dreams authentically. 

Ready to take meaningful steps toward your goals? Engage with us in this thought-provoking episode and remember, courage is key! If this resonates with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share with your friends. Your journey starts today!

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Speaker 1:

Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host, Life Coach, nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go? Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach, nardi Camille. Welcome back.

Speaker 1:

My friends, all right, my friends, this week we are talking about decision making because we are moving through the year. It's a little bit bananas. All of us not all of us, many of us say this every year I can't believe it's already March, and we'll be saying that around November. Us, many of us, say this every year I can't believe it's already March, and we'll be saying that around November. I can't believe it's already November, and the holidays are here, right, and so, with the year moving, we're getting out of February, we're moving into March. I love reflecting, I love checking in. How am I feeling? What's working? I set all these resolutions and these intentions and these goals at the beginning of the year slash. For me. I really do it at the end of the previous year. So I like to do my resolutions and my goals and all that in December, kind of re reflecting on the year, reviewing what I've done, and then from there my three questions what's working, what's not, and what's next as a result of the year that I had. So then in January, I'm putting in place okay, here are my goals, these are the habits that I want to create, these are the feelings I want to create this year, these are the relationships that I want to create this year. Right, getting clear on all of that.

Speaker 1:

Now we're moving into March and sometimes along the way, some of those things get forgotten, right, we forget what our resolution was, we forget what our goal was, we forget what it was that we wanted to change, and we get back into the old patterns of behavior that we were going through before. And now we're in this place of oh why am I frustrated? Why am I back where I was last November? Why am I back feeling where I was last October? And so I really believe that this is a really beautiful opportunity to check in and maybe for you, on the flip side, you have been knocking out your goals. You have been diligently working on your habits and what's important to you this year. Now's a really great time, as we're moving into March, to check in Of the goals and the things that I've been working on. What do I really like, what's really serving me Of the things that I've been working on, what's still feeling a little bit itchy, a little bit frustrating right and so that's a really great chance for you to check in and to just review, reflect what's working, what's not, what's next.

Speaker 1:

But for the friend that is maybe feeling a little bit overwhelmed right now you're like I have a lot of goals, I've been working on some things, some things have been falling by the wayside. I'm working with women right now that are actively building businesses or are leaving their current place of work and are going into a new place of work, but they're ambitiously working towards building something for themselves and for others, and often what can happen is we're going through this process, is we have our idea very clearly in our brain, we can very clearly see what we want to do, but then, when we go to start to take action, we can very quickly become overwhelmed, scared, nervous about how are people going to actually respond? I have this big, beautiful idea in my head, but it's the follow through that I'm struggling with, and so what I like to do is I like to ask a series of questions to myself and to my clients to help us navigate what might be getting in our way. Nine times out of 10, the only reason why you're taking action is because there's a fear thought keeping you from taking action, and that fear thought could be what will people think if the goal for you is to be more visible online? And the fear thought is what will people think? What if people judge me? What if people think that I look stupid? What if I look stupid? What if I sound stupid? Right, and all of that. Just that thought alone can keep us from showing up. But the brain thinks the thought well, what if I show up and I look dumb? And if I look dumb, then people are going to make fun of me, and if people make fun of me, then nobody's going to buy my product. If nobody buys my product, then there's no point in starting a business in the first place. Right? Your brain is smart. You are smart, and so if you are not taking actions because there's probably a pretty loud fear that may not even be in your conscious, but is in your subconscious, keeping you from taking action.

Speaker 1:

So today I have a series of questions that I'm going to ask you to help you navigate your decision making process and, hopefully, help you to uncover, maybe, some of those fear thoughts that are hiding in your subconscious. All right, so the first question that I have for you you've heard a bajillion times and you will hear again and again what do you want? Maybe your answer is to start a business. Maybe your answer is to work for a company that makes me feel seen, heard and valued. What do I want? First and foremost, get really clear. What is it that you're wanting? What is it that you're calling in? It could be a feeling, it could be a person. It could be a feeling, it could be a person, it could be an experience. It is specific to you. What do you want? The subsets underneath that question are what do you want to happen? Or how do you want to serve others?

Speaker 1:

So, again, when I'm working with ambitious women these are usually entrepreneurs or women that are in leadership positions within their company the question that we're really asking when we ask what do you want is what do you want to happen? Do you want a raise? Do you want more staff members to expand your business? Do you want dot dot dot? What do you want to happen? I want to sign 10 clients. I want to get married. I want to have my first child. I want to make 10% more than I'm making right now. What do I want to happen? Answer that question honestly. The other way you can ask this question or I find another way to understand what it is that you want is how do you want to serve others? Right, I love the question what do we want? But sometimes that can be tricky to answer if we haven't answered it in that way.

Speaker 1:

Often when I'm working with humans that are very ambitious they're also usually very kind and loving humans and sometimes we haven't asked ourselves that question of what do I want, because we've gotten so used to asking ourselves what do others want? What do others need? So the way that I like to kind of bring that in, but still keep the focus on you, is how do you want to serve others? Do you want to serve others through the way that you carry yourself, by being a kind person? Do you want to serve others through your dentistry business. You're just really, really in love with clean teeth and you know that if everybody had clean teeth and a clean mouth, the world would be a better place, right? How do you want to serve others?

Speaker 1:

Do you want to serve others in entertainment? Right, I want to serve others in that. I want to be an actor and that when people come home at the end of the day they can turn on my show, turn on the TV show that I'm a part of, and I can bring joy to their life. Right, maybe it's through music? How do you want to serve others? Those are both just subsets for the first question, which is what do I want? What do I want?

Speaker 1:

Often we're overwhelmed. It's because we haven't gotten really clear on that one answer what do I want? Sometimes it's because we have gotten clear on what we want and we've told the story that, but I can't because I don't have enough time, right, and so that causes a little bit of disdain in the body, which is I'm going to coachy two cents here, not true? It's not true that you don't have enough time. That's what I'm going to offer. If there's something that you want to do to tell you, tell yourself that you do not have enough time, is a limiting belief and a limiting thought. That is not true. You might not be making the time for it, or when you do have the time, you might be exhausted. But to say that you do not have the time I would offer is not true. I digress, all right, here's your next question what is within my control? Now that you know what you want, let's check in. Maybe you want to go on vacation, you want to start a business, you want to raise? What is it that you want? What is within my control?

Speaker 1:

So, for the example of getting a raise, I was working with a client this weekend on this. She asked for a raise. She did not get it. What does she want now? She wants that raise, or she wants to go to a different company. So, as we checked in, I said what is within your control? What can we do as a result of the information that you've been given? What's within her control is having another follow-up conversation. What's within her control is looking for another job. What's within her control is escalating it, if she would like to, with a higher up Right. Those are some of our options. What is within your control for the thing that you want. So, with her, when we were talking about what's within her control, we said, ok, you can have a conversation with your higher ups, you can also look for another job.

Speaker 1:

What felt good for her was to take both actions, to follow up with her boss and say, hey, I asked for this raise, this is what you gave me. Here's my response to it. Here are my thoughts. Response to it, here are my thoughts Giving the company an opportunity to meet her where she's at, give her what she's asking for or not. Give her what she's asking for, which gives her more information that, should they not meet me where I'm asking to be met, that is information for her to now choose to leave.

Speaker 1:

She has decided that if they don't give me a raise, then I do not feel valued and I do not wish to stay here anymore. That is within her control. What is not within your control? This is the next question what is not within your control? Moving with this example, what's not within her control is her boss's response. She cannot control whether or not they say yes to this raise after she's already asked for it and they've told her no as she goes back to advocate for herself. That's not within her control. But what is within her control is her asking right, at the very least she can ask. And what's not within her control is their response. But it still gives us information because now she knows. Okay, what's within my control is I can ask. What's not in my control is how they respond. And should they respond in a way that's out of my control and not in alignment, I already know. She already knows what she's going to do. Next I'm going to look for another position and if they do follow through with I asked for a raise, they tell me, yes, that's out of my control. But if they tell me yes, then that is an alignment, right. So this is how we start to problem solve what's within my control, what's out of my control?

Speaker 1:

Here's my next question for you what research have I done so for this client? The research we did was her company is not just located, we're in Colorado, so it's not just located in Colorado, there's also a site that's in Atlanta, georgia, and so she did her research and researched that the employees that were working at the Atlanta office were making at least 10% more than she's making. We then did a cross comparison of cost of living, the cost of living in Denver is still more than it is in Atlanta, and so we did some research. That is also within your control, but I ask that as a separate question because we don't always think about that as something that's within our control. When you think about what's within your control, add learning there. What research have you done?

Speaker 1:

Stepping out of that example of asking for a raise, let's say you're starting a business, right? I have another client that's starting an app, and so for her, at one point she was getting a little overwhelmed. I don't know what next step to take. So the question I asked was what research have you done? Often we're feeling overwhelmed or confused. It's because we don't have enough information right. So if you're feeling overwhelmed or confused about an answer right now or a decision you're trying to make, my question to you is what research have you done? If you're thinking about moving here versus there, what research have you done on here? Research have you done on there? What learning have you done on the thing you're trying to make a decision on? I would offer that there's always more learning that we can do, and by learning about how to.

Speaker 1:

Let's say, you're starting a business and you're like I don't know what prices to charge. What research have you done? Right, when I started my business as a life coach, I was researching what is the going rate of a therapist, of a life coach? The baseline when I did research at the time is about five years ago was $100 per session. So that's where I started. And trust me, friends, when I tell you I was so uncomfortable charging that when I first started, but I knew that that was market rate and I knew that I was going to become the person that was worth that value and now more.

Speaker 1:

What research have you done on the thing that you want to bring into the world? And if you're getting stuck again, maybe there's just more information that you need in order to make an informed decision. So, coming back to that example with the client who's working on an app, she was like I don't know what decision to make as far as should I hire an app developer or should I work with an AI app developer? And we talked through it. I said, okay, well, what thoughts and what research have you done on either one? And as we worked through it, we realized she still had some more questions that she had to get answered in order for her to make a more informed decision. Okay, so that's that question. What research have you done? I have four more questions for you here.

Speaker 1:

What if it goes my way? I really love this question because all too often I think that we automatically think the opposite, which is the next question right, what if it doesn't go my way? But I want to offer to spend more time in the question of what if it goes my way. What if I launch the business? What if I sign the clients? What if I get the raise? What then? Because that was my question to the client that was asking a raise. I said hey, do you even like this company culture? What if you get the raise? Let's say you get the raise, are you actually happy here? Does that paycheck make you feel better? And the answer might be yes, but sometimes the answer is no right. And so I checked and I said what if this goes your way? What if you get the raise? Let's say then you're going to be asked to stay another year. Are you happy with that? Does that make you feel good? Because I think sometimes we're like I just want the money or whatever it is. But when you really stop and think about it, I'm like okay, let's say you make another $25,000 at this company. Do you even want to work for this company? Is this a company that you want to grow in? Right, check in. What if it goes your way? Then what?

Speaker 1:

For the example of the blogger right, the person was like what if it goes your way? What if it goes your way? What then? Right, because then when we're in that space, your brain is going to think about so many different ideas. If you're the blogger that's going online and your goal is I just want 50 people to be on with me live, and you know what if it goes my way and there's 200? Now your brain's thinking about oh, what call to action do I have in that? How am I going to invite people into my community? Beyond this video call? Then your brain gets to expand beyond. What if I look bad? What if I look stupid? What if things don't go my way? Right, that lens of thinking is so what is the word I'm looking for? Oh, I'm over here. I wish you guys could see me. I'm making circles with my hands. It's just tight, like a little. It's just, it's very tight that thinking like what if it doesn't happen? What if it doesn't go my way? It's very tight, the energy is very tight versus what if it does go my way? That's very expansive energy. And then, from that expansive place, your brain is expanding. You're thinking about so many more ideas. You're open to so many more new creative ideas from that place. What if it goes my way? And, of course, the next question you're already probably asking on your own what if it doesn't go my way? What then? And truly sit with that. What then?

Speaker 1:

What if you go to sell a brand new course and you want eight women to join and two women join? What then? And I know that originally or initially, the first answer for most of us is that I'm a failure, that it's all over. But I want to remove that mind drama. Can you just remove that mind drama for a hot second? If you believe that what you want is available to you and it fails the first time you try it, that is an opportunity for you to actually check in and see do I truly believe that what I want, that what's been placed in my heart, is available to me? Because if I do, this failure is just information, it is not a sentence, right? This quote failure if only 50, if two people join right, the example we're using. If only two people join this course and I wanted eight right, what then? What then? You have a choice. I can shut it down and I can refund those people. I can run the course with just the two and pour as much value into them as I possibly can. What then? What if you go and you sell something and nobody shows up? What then? Are you willing to get up and try again? Are you willing to puzzle piece mentality? Right, that puzzle piece will fit. It's just a matter of turning it until it does.

Speaker 1:

What if it doesn't work out the first, second time? What are you willing to change? What are you willing to do differently? Are you willing to change? Are you willing to do something differently? Or will you just quit? And here's the thing quitting is a valid option. If you don't want to do something anymore, if it is not a value to you anymore, it is okay to say I am done, this is complete. I don't want to put energy into this anymore. That is your choice and it's not a wrong choice. It's what's most in alignment for you.

Speaker 1:

Two more questions.

Speaker 1:

What am I afraid of?

Speaker 1:

What am I afraid of?

Speaker 1:

Am I afraid of being laughed at? Am I afraid of looking stupid? Am I afraid of no? Am I afraid of rejection? What is it that you're afraid of when you go to what it is that you want? That first question what is it that you're afraid of? I want to dress more colorfully and I want to dress in a way that makes me feel like me. I'm afraid of people judging me. I want to assign five more clients in my coaching program. I'm afraid of being visible and I'm afraid of selling because it feels icky. I want to be a mom and I want to meet the love of my life in order to create that family that I so deeply want. I'm afraid that I'm never going to meet that person. I'm afraid that that person doesn't exist.

Speaker 1:

What are you afraid of? I want you to declare that fear out loud and look at it. Look that fear right in the eyes, because you are stronger than that fear. And the first part of overcoming, or rather moving through that fear, I like to think of transmuting the fear rather than moving over it or climbing around whatever. Whatever metaphor works for you, but I like transmuting it, taking that fear and turning it into power, looking that fear directly in the eyes and saying you know what, even though I haven't met the person yet, even though I'm older than I wanted to be, when I get married and I start a family, I still believe that that person and my family is available to me. Done Period. That's what I would offer to you.

Speaker 1:

So the last question for you is what am I willing to do despite my fear, even though I'm afraid? What next best step might I take? What am I willing to do despite my fear, even though I'm afraid? What can I do in my fear? That's what I would offer to you. It's okay to be afraid. Trust me, friends, when I tell you I am afraid.

Speaker 1:

Very often, very often, I'm afraid. You just do it scared. I recently heard somebody say I don't know who it was, I don't know where I was, but I'm going to paraphrase this quote but I recently heard somebody I think it was a pastor talking about Mother Teresa and how somebody had come to Mother Teresa. And again, I'm paraphrasing. But somebody came to her and said hey, mother Teresa, I really need you to help me. Pray my fear away. I don't want to actually have any fear. Please help me to get rid of my fear. I want to be fearless, and Mother Teresa said something to him to the extent of I'm always afraid. That sensation of fear will never leave your body.

Speaker 1:

What I will pray for instead is for courage. That, regardless of the thing that you have to face, that you have the courage to face it. You have the courage to do the thing that you know you want to do, that you know you need to do the thing that's been placed on your heart. That you have courage because fear will not go away. So I'm not going to pray your fear away, but I will pray that you have courage, and so I'm going to offer that to you all, my friends.

Speaker 1:

Whether you're a praying person or not, I do not care. Take what sticks to you, leave the rest. But my hope for you is that you have the courage to show up for your goals, for your dreams, for your desires. That you have the audacity to believe in your goals, in your dreams, in your desires, even though you don't have evidence for them, even though you've been pushed back down, even though you've worked on it right. You're like Nadia I've shown up, I've tried and life has knocked me down.

Speaker 1:

It's up to you. Are you willing to get back up or are you done? You can be done, that is a valid option or do you want to get back up and try again and try again in a different way? You got this. I 100% believe in you and if you want some support on that, come and sign up for a free discovery call. That's what we do in coaching we take your fears and we transmute them into power so that you can boldly walk in the direction of your dreams Mindfully, lovingly, authentically. I love you all so much. I'll see you next week. This podcast I would love it if you give us a five-star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.